Best Christmas Ever - 1. Best Christmas Ever

I work at a major retail giant. Yes, at one of those 'Marts' in a small town, where everyone knows everyone else. Although repetitive, yet very accurate, it is a typical holiday season in the retail industry. Children with their wide eyes oohing and aahing at all of the new "must haves" of the year, melancholic adults sighing about with lists longer than new tax codes who are trying to shop for the "perfect" gift, then there are those few individuals that are filled with the spirit of giving that many overlook them, forsaking them for their own needs and wants.

Enough about me, this is about the sweet angel Sarah and her father Brandon. We have had a hard few years. Let us start at the beginning.

Brandon and I went to high school together. We knew of each other but never socialized until he started dating my best friend Maria. Brandon, Maria, and I became very close, which surprised me. Brandon was on football and wrestling teams. Maria was a rebel, fighting the good fight for those who didn't have a voice. As for me, I was a thespian to the core. Theater was my saving grace, I came out to Maria first. Once Brandon was hanging out with us more and more, we told him about me being gay. All he said was, "That's cool." If anyone would attempt to pick on me, Brandon would protect me. I thought that this was because he wanted to get in Maria's good graces. After high school graduation, I went to college out of state, received my MBA, returned home, and became store manager at the local, 'Mart.'

Brandon went into the Army, a family tradition, and Maria went to community college for Police Officer Training. Maria passed her training and was quickly hired on to the local police force. A few years passed, on April 22, 2001, Brandon and Maria were married. It was a few days after my grandmother's passing. I came home for a wedding and a funeral. Brandon asked if I could be one of his groomsmen but I had to decline for Maria asked me to be her Man of Honor in high school. He laughed and patted me on the shoulder, just saying, "That's cool." Their wedding was beautiful and magical, like a Disney princess wedding come to life. They were off to their honeymoon and I was back at college.

Several months later, September 11, 2001 came and changed our lives in ways we could not comprehend. Newlyweds were separated, terrorism was brought to the fore front of our minds, innocence was lost, and hearts hardened. Maria, Brandon, and I kept in contact. Maria and I called each other everyday and emailed each other at least three times a day. Brandon was quickly deployed, he called her whenever he could, but he wrote both of us every month.

On my graduation with my MBA in May of 2005, both Brandon and Maria flew down to see me walk. Seeing them there brought back many happier times to mind. Two years earlier, Brandon's platoon were on an IED clearing detail, when the lead vehicle ran over a mine. 15 men were killed, five men badly maimed, 10 severely injured including Brandon. He lost his left leg just below his knee, his chest and right side of his body was peppered with shrapnel. It took six months for Brandon to recover from his injuries and another year and a half of rehab with his prosthetic to walk again. He was Honorably discharged.

In August of 2005, I returned home. A week later Brandon and Maria invited me out to dinner. It was then that they announced that they were going to start a family, I could not be more happy for them.

Three years passed with not success, so they turned to in vitro. It was February 2009, on my birthday, that Brandon and Maria told me that they were pregnant! This was the first time I saw Brandon cry. They asked me if I wanted to be a Godfather. It was a offer I could not refuse, I jumped at. Then I cried along with them.

On Maria and Brandon's ninth wedding anniversary, they renewed their vows. It was another gorgeous ceremony. A few days later Maria went in for her checkup. The doctor's found a mass near her ovary. They did a biopsy of the mass and found it was benign. However Maria had to be under constant observation.

September 11, 2009 came and began like any other day. Maria, Brandon, and I were watching television in her room when the doctor dropped the bombshell of Maria having cancer on us. Maria had a Stage 4 bone cancer. The baby was not affected. Yet, Maria was faced with a choice, carry the baby to term and only have a few weeks to live or start chemo and lose the baby.

Maria looked at Brandon, Brandon silently nodded, they turned to the doctor, Maria said, "We have known since April, after long sleepless nights and hours of discussion, we want to keep the baby." The doctor left the room to have the paperwork drawn, meanwhile we bonded in our tears.

November 30, 2009 at 3:17pm, Sarah was born at a healthy weight of 7 pounds, 14 ounces.

December 5, 2009 Brandon, Maria, and Sarah left the hospital.

Christmas came and it was extra special with Sarah there.

January 14, 2010, we met at the hospital, even Sarah. At 5:23 pm, Maria left us to start her new journey as our Guardian angel. The last thing I promised her was that I would watch over Brandon and Sarah.

That brings us to today. Sarah is selfless as her rebel mother, always looking at the world with innocence and purity of a child. Brandon and Sarah came into the store that evening. Sarah turned 7 years old just a few weeks ago. With Christmas Day fast approaching, Brandon did not know what to give Sarah for a gift. I said, "Leave it to me and I'll let you know." I asked Sarah if she wanted to walk with me to the toy aisle. Sarah turned to Brandon and he nodded, saying, "I have to get some items for dinner. When I am done I will meet you both in the toy aisle."

"Okay daddy." Sarah said.

We arrived at the toy aisle. Sarah's eyes grew wide, she ran directly to the dolls. There she stood in front of the doll that I had placed there just an hour ago. Her eyes grew even larger, her little palms clenched together under her chin, her small voice cooed, "Her! The one that looks like mommy!" My heart melted and I began to tear up. I reached for her as Brandon turned down the aisle.

"I have everything for dinner." Brandon said to Sarah, "Are you ready to go home?"

"Yes daddy." Sarah turned to me to give me a hug. She whispered in my ear, "Can you tell Santa I want mommy for Christmas?"

"I will call him on my cell and let him know!" I said fighting back the tears.

Brandon winked at me, then they turned and left for home.

I grabbed the doll and bought it. That night I went home, placed the doll in a plain white box, then wrapped it in the best Christmas paper. I tied a red and silver ribbon around it curling the ends, and placed a simple tag on the box that said, 'To Sarah From Santa.'

It was a week later, only a few more days until Christmas Day. I had just ended my shift with a store full of self-proclaimed procrastinators demanding gifts that have been sold out for weeks and kindly explaining to the masses that we were out of those gifts while being cursed at, yelled at, spat upon, and almost being punched out. I received a call from Brandon asking if I wanted to to meet him at the bar for a beer. I said sure and here I am. Brandon waved to me from our normal table. He had already knocked a three bottles of beer back before my arrival. I ordered a double shot of José and a bottle of Killian's.

"Do you know why I asked you here?" Brandon asked as he looked down at his bottle.

"I thought you wanted out of the house and wanted to drink with a friend." I replied.

"I have beer at the house and you have a bar at your place. No, that is not it. I have to come clean to...with you." Brandon began to slur his words.

"Okay?! What's up? Is it Sarah?" I began to panic.

"Will you just relax? Please. Sarah is perfect." I let out a heavy sigh, slammed the shot of house tequila, and punched Brandon's shoulder, which was more of a playful nudge than a jab. "Don't scare me like that!"

Brandon let out a playful 'Ouch', smiled at me, rubbed his tricep, took another drink and leaned closer to me, "Can we go to your car to talk?"

"Sure. I'll pay the tab at the bar and meet you out back." I closed the tab. We left through the alley exit. I had parked in the public lot behind the bar. We walked to my car, sat down and waited fifteen minutes for the car to warm up. Once the car was warmed up, I turned on the heater. We drove, with only the radio playing, to the river, down around the golf course, and looped back to the back road that ran past the fields. After half an hour, we finally stopped at the group of trees we would come to as a trio when we needed to think and clear our minds.

"I haven't been here since..." Brandon began.

"I know. This time of year is difficult for me too." I kept the car running, put the car in park, and turned to Brandon, "What did you mean that you wanted to come clean with me?"

Brandon turned to me, looked at me in the eyes, and as if he were stone sober, "I love you."

Without hesitation I responded, "I love you too. But what do you mean about coming clean?"

"Okay. I have to start at the beginning. I have always loved you, ever since high school."

"What?! Loved me in what way? As a friend? As a brother? As a..."

"As a lover." Brandon took a moment to let that sink in. "Wow! Maria was right. That is a great feeling being so free."

"Now I am really confused." All I could do was rub my forehead. "Can you please clarify what you mean, please?"

"Since high school I fell in love with Maria. But the more I hung out with you, the more I began to have feelings for you."

I gave Brandon a look that expressed for him to tell me more, but to not to BS me, for I need this to make sense now!

"I love that look!" Brandon laughed for a minute, gave me a kiss on the cheek, then continued, "By the time you left for college, I thought that you would forget about me so I poured my heart to Maria. She understood that the heart works in ways that we don't control, that we just need to be open to the love that it has to give. We were honest with each other, so yes, I told her that I love you. She said that she loved you too but..."

"...if she were a man, then we would be perfect for each other."

"Exactly! Then she realized that I could be your man! Remember how you were at our wedding?"

I nodded and said, "Yes."

"Maria and I were dancing but I wanted to dance with you. Maria knew it and she wanted you to dance with me."

"I said, 'No', because of what everyone would think."

"In retrospect, I thank you for saying no, if I held you that close to me, I would have kissed you."

I looked into Brandon's eyes, "Do you still feel the same?"

"Wait until the end, please. When I was deployed, the letters I wrote home gave me hope, and the letters that I received gave me comfort. I was reading one of your letters for the third time when the IED went off. It was your voice that made me want to live. There was this love I held buried inside, that I never told to the person who needed to hear it the most. I promised that if I made it through that I would tell you how I truly felt about you."

"What about Maria and your love for her?"

"I love you both equally, with the same strength and intensity. The pride I felt when you walked with you MBA, the honor with you standing next to Maria when we renewed our vows felt like the first time, as if I were marring both of you again. The unyielding love you have shown with Maria during the pregnancy, the support when she moved on, and your promise of watching both Sarah and me."

"What have you told Sarah about me? Am I her Godfather or..."

"You are her Guardian angel Mom's best friend, which her mother, with the help of God, have made her another father or God's father, Sarah's own words. She knows because I asked her and I am as honest with her as I am with you and with Maria."

"I have dreamt of this moment happening."

"Well, this is not a dream because I can touch you."

"This is so much information to take in. I need a few days to process all of this."

"You are coming for Christmas dinner, correct?"

"That will never change, ever." I grabbed Brandon's hand, "Thank you for telling me this."

"Of course. I mean everything I said." Brandon took my hand and kissed the top of my hand. The drive back to his house was all that I wanted, from the warmth of his hand holding mine to us singing every song on the radio.

We sat outside his house, he leaned over, and gave me another kiss on the cheek. When I returned the gesture however at the last moment he turned and our lips touched. I was frozen, not from guilt or fear, just that I have waited for this for so long that it just happened organically, unforced. Brandon then said, "See you in a few days." I watched him open his door and lock it before I drove off.

Since that night, Brandon has called me five times and texted me ten times that he has something important to ask me. I just do not know how to wrap my mind around this.

Christmas Eve came quickly. I slept in that afternoon. It snowed early that morning so the world outside is a white winter wonderland. I miss you Maria. What am I to do? I don't want to get hurt or confuse Sarah. I'll just drop off the present later tonight.

It was a quarter until eleven and I walked up to the front porch. The voice in my head was like, "You're not being sneaky. Sarah deserves this doll. Just drop it off on the porch, just like Santa." I was about to slip away when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I turned around to find Brandon in an old Army shirt, flannel lounge pants, black slippers, and an untied robe standing in the doorway. He said, "I see Santa has a helper. Could I enlist his helper for tonight to aid me with Sarah's gifts?"

"Of course! How could I ever say no to her?" I walked in and for the next four hours, we build, wrapped, installed, and added batteries to all of her gifts. I placed my present under the tree, towards the back so it would be the last one opened. It was here that I saw a gift with my name on it, but I thought nothing of it. We sat on the couch were we fell asleep.

A few hours later, I smelled the wonderous aroma of coffee, the warmth of the body next to me, and the excited glee of Sarah saying that Santa came! Sarah and I woke up Brandon. He got the camera and began recording and taking pictures of the great day.

Sarah opened her presents with joy and excitement. She thanked her father after opening each present. Then Sarah pulled out the last present from under the tree.

"Look daddy! It is from Santa!"

"I see. Why don't you unwrap Santa's gift?"

"Okay!" Sarah unwrapped the present with surgical precision. Keeping the curled ribbon and paper as pristine as possible. Once she was able to take the plain white box out of the paper she did. She opened the box, squealed in pure joy, and took the doll to Brandon saying, "Look Daddy! Mommy is here! Now we can have a real Christmas!"

"Yes indeed. Mommy is here. Why don't you show Mommy your room and everything you have done in school."

"Okay!" Sarah said, before going to her room with the doll that looks so much like Maria, she hugged me and told me, "Thank Santa for me!"

"He already knows! Remember he knows everything about good girls like yourself."

Sarah jolted off to her room as quick as Santa making his rounds to all the good children around the world.

Brandon turned to me in awe and admiration. "How were you able to find a doll that looked like Maria?"

"I went to a website that makes dolls from photos. I had the picture of Maria and you on your wedding day. I placed the order. I received the doll two weeks before you both came to the store. I opened the box and the doll looked like an angel. I kept the doll in my locker waiting for the right time. The day you came in, I ran to my locker, put the doll on the shelf, told an employee to not sell the doll, and when Sarah saw her mom looking back at her, we both melted."

Brandon started tearing up. My heart could not hold all of the emotions I was having and I began crying.

Brandon asked as he passed me a tissue, "I'm crying because of the unselfish spirit you have shown, and that you keep showing by honoring Maria's memory. But why are you so emotional?"

"I don't want to step on your toes nor do I want to destroy Maria's memory."

"How could you do such a thing? You loved Maria more than I did. You could never do anything that evil." Brandon held my hand, the warmth from his hands matched the warmth of his heart.

"I don't want to confuse Sarah. She means the world to me. Also, I don't want to lead you on." Brandon's squeezed my hand and his thumb began to rub the top of my hand. "I need to tell you that I have had a crush on you since you first dated Maria. That night in high school, junior year, when Maria went out with her friends because you both fought over not understanding each other."

"I remember." A soft smile and a twinkle returned to Brandon's face.

"You stayed over for the night at my house and we were up all night talking. During that night, I had shared more with you that I had ever told Maria. You never judged me, you never treated me differently, you were always there, like Maria. After that night, I purposely became more distant from both of you. Maria and I made a promise that we would not be the wedge between our love life and our friendship. When you were deployed, I hand wrote letters to you. I continued pouring my heart to you. I didn't know what the future would hold for us, so that I needed that constant of us being honest and open."

"It was that kindness and openness you shared that gave me hope to make it back after my accident."

I hugged Brandon and whispered in his ear, "Maria's exact words to me were, 'Marry Brandon and be the best father to Sarah.' I told her that I would. Yet I never knew your feelings until a few nights ago."

Sarah came back and was standing in the archway with Maria. "Daddy. Mommy and I were talking, it's time!"

Brandon kissed my cheek and gave me present. I looked at all three as they were motioning for me to read the note and open the gift. I opened the note, it was written in Maria's handwriting, and it read:

'To my best friend and brother Jay, If you are reading this, my blockhead followed his heart and opened up to you. I have known about his love for you. We are always open to each other. At first I was angry. I wanted him to myself. But you never took advantage of our life, you kept out oath and your distance. Seeing that you held us with that much love made us love you more. You told me that we would be perfect if you were straight of if I were a man. I don't have long for this world, so do me the honor of being the best husband to Brandon and the greatest father for our daughter. Keep my memory alive with her and tell her our stories so that she can follow in our footsteps. Love Forever, Maria. P.S. Remember if you don't do this, I will haunt you!'

I opened the small box to find a wedding band engraved with three dates; 5/05 my MBA graduation, 11/30/09 the date of Sarah's birth, and 12/25/16. I had a puzzled look until I looked up to find all three on one knee. "WHAT?!" I just was in shock.

Sarah said, "I promise to be the best daughter that a dad could ask for."

"Will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world?" Brandon said as he was there bearing his soul.

The doll with Maria's likeness said, "You would be a fool if you said, 'No'."

"What about your parents? What would they say?"

"I told them if they did not support me then I do not need them. I have already asked your parents and explained everything to Maria's parents, they all gave their blessings."

Once everything sank in I said, "Yes! Yes, of course!"

Dinner was in honor of Maria and her memory. Brandon and Sarah announced that I would be part of the family. Everyone was so supportive. We have yet to set a date, but one thing is for certain, Best Christmas Ever!