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    R. Eric
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Makarovia! Yes, I Know Where That is! Sophomore Year - 20. Chapter 20

You left me in a pickle, Daniel. I still love you, but I need some of Italian...influence. I'll never forget you.

We walked further down the passage enjoying being down here. Everyone seemed to be enjoying being out…of their homes and out of the cold. This was a whole new world for Peter as well. I couldn’t image what it was like before, but from Peter’s reaction, it was a vast improvement. This was going to become a city underground.

“This is great!” Peter nodded toward more signs that said what was above to shop and find various items. There were also other signs advertising future things like restaurants and other shops and stores. It was sort of heading toward a modern mall look and feel.

“And it won’t have to be for just the winter!” I said happily. “This will be year-round.” I turned walking backward a second, looking at Peter’s face. “If anything…this like the North Pole!”

I watched his face grow puzzled. “The North Pole? I know it’s cold out, but…”

“Not the North Pole in the Arctic, I mean the North Pole, like Santa’s North Pole in those movies and shows I watch.” I grinned more. “There are times here when it doesn’t snow and the weather is clear…cold, but clear. Right?”

Peter nodded. “Sure.”

“This can be Santa’s domain!” I said and nodding. “Yes, I know he’s Svyatyi Mykolai here for St. Nicholas.” I cocked my head. “Do you know of Pavuchky?”

Peter nodded chuckling. “Yes, we know about the Christmas Spider…the poor who couldn’t afford to decorate the tree and the web turning into silver and gold Christmas morning.”

I nodded. “Starting tinsel! And the Christmas tree?”

Peter grinned now drinking his coffee. “Yes, the story of the little boy on Christmas Eve that knocked on a poor man’s house, that man taking him in, fed, cleaned him up and even put him to bed only to be awakened by the choir of angels and that little boy was Jesus himself! The beginning of Christmas Trees with the bow and tinsel and all that.” He chuckled. “We were part of Ukraine many times and their customs, stories, and traditions were here as well.”

“Yes!” I nodded. “I just love the season and the stories, but there could be so much more here to winter…like sculptures in the snow! An ice hotel! The possibilities are endless. It would boost tourism!”

“Tourists in Makarovia,” Peter said incredibly, thinking about the idea. “That will be a first. We probably can’t do it this year, but next year, sure.”

“We could do it this year! We can get the ball rolling.” I said putting my arm around him. “The snow and ice sculptures…even the ice hotel! That doesn’t have to be due to the Christmas Season or any holiday.” I grinned at him. “I tell you again and again, with so many people like us in this country…there are bound to be artists who will love to do it!”

Peter grabbed me closer and rested his lips on my forehead. “I love you, Eric.” He chuckled. “I love that you are loving Makarovia.”

“I know you love me, Peter.” I stopped bringing him in for a kiss. “This country grew you. I adore Makarovia. I adore you.”

He laughed as he returned the kiss. “I know you do.”

“What do you think, Your Highness?” A friendly voice asked pleasantly.

Turning, I saw Fedir and his husband walking hand in hand. “Fedir!” I suddenly launched myself at the smiling man, hugging him quickly. “It’s great to see you!” I turned to his husband Kurt. “I’ve never really met you but once, Kurt! Hello, again!” And I hugged him, too.

Peter smiled at the surprised Kurt. “My husband is a big hugger.”

I turned to Peter. “What? Of course, I am. Handshakes are just so…distant. Fedir and I are friends! Kurt and I will be.” I smiled at the blonde man.

“Well, I don’t want to be accused of being distant.” Peter grinned and hugged them both. “I can’t believe this!” He waved at the passage. “This used to be just…a hole.”

“Not anymore!” Fedir waved with his coffee. “Don’t worry, this decaf.” He wiggled the coffee he was drinking.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Your doctor said no caffeine, Fedir!” He nodded at me. “He never listens. It’s great to have you here, My Lo…”

“Kurt!” Fedir interrupted in mocking irritation. “I told you, he doesn’t like the titles.” He waved at me.

Kurt nodded and smiled. “It’s great to see you…can I call you Eric?”

“I insist,” I said.

“It’s great to see you, Eric,” Kurt said and turned to Fedir. “I want you around! You will do what the doctor said!”

“See?” I said as Kurt confirmed what I’d said to Fedir before when he dared to have his one drink after locating the many files and letters on the escaped World War II people in Makarovia.

“I know,” Fedir said sadly. “Only he takes what the doctor says to cut back on and Kurt wants me not to do it at all!!”

“Better safe than sorry, honey!” Kurt said as he must have said it again and again.

Fedir smiled at Kurt and then looked at me and shrugged. “He loves me.” He looked at the many people down here and smiled. “Things are getting crowded here. I think it’s great! Things are really changing in Makarovia.”

“For the better?” I asked.

“Definitely,” Kurt said quickly. He bounced a little. “They found this big…” he looked at Fedir. “What was that? A lava bubble?”

Fedir nodded. “When this part of Makarovia was forming millions of years ago, there was a large bubble apparently and it solidified. They’re opening a Grotto like something there!” He frowned at Kurt. “Which you won’t let me go when it does!”

“They haven’t even started construction, Fedir!” Kurt said back he looked at me and pointed at Peter. “Does he irritate you sometimes?” He thumbed at Fedir.

I nodded. “Sometimes.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “When do I do that!?” He demanded.

“Plenty of times! Like when you get fixed on something…when the professor got under your skin at Northeastern and you forgot…” I pointed at Fedir and Kurt, “he forgot to greet me.” I waved my hand. “A lot of times you do that!”

“Yea, well, you bring me back!”

I bounced again and looked at Fedir and Kurt. “Ain’t love grand?” I said in English. It wouldn’t translate into Makarovian or Ukrainian.

It took them both a minute before Fedir nodded getting what I said. “Yes, it is.” He bumped Kurt pulling him in for a kiss.

“Right now, most of the people in Styria are loving being able to have somewhere to go.” Kurt waved at the passage ahead. “See what’s coming and what’s here.” He said smiling. “Go! Enjoy!”

I hugged them again. “You can come to visit now! Do that, or do I need to make that a Royal Command? Frequently, understand?” I said and we walked off. “We’ll come to see you?”

“We’d love to have you.” Fedir grinned. “We’ll be here, My Lord.” He said pointedly at me, knowing he annoyed me.

We did go further through the newer, wider passages.

“This is happening in Skoal, too.” Peter pointed to another sign.

“There are a lot of people here now,” I said reasonably. “Not a lot to do outside now…it makes sense.”

 

We returned to the palace and walked into the family communal room as we caught Olek and Helga in a…well, they were kissing and in an embrace that…was very personal.

I chuckled. “Well, not to be left out…” I grabbed Peter and pulled him in for a kiss of our own.

Olek broke from Helga. “Well, we were here and…”

Peter broke our kiss only to say. “You don’t need to defend love to us, Olek.”

Olek kissed Helga again quickly and turned more to us. “So, what did you think of the new passages?”

Peter nodded. “They were pretty impressive. All the new businesses opening. Where are you getting the personnel?”

“We have more people now and many who need something to do. Makarovians, British and American.” Olek said. “Personnel is not a problem.”

“With this new influx of people…” I said hesitantly, “there still is the consortium to consider.”

“Yes.” Olek sighed. “I think when we were starting with the novelty of the uranium we were more in danger, but I think…I hope…the world knows it’s ours. Even the Ukraine and Russia have backed off. Those that want to take it know now that won’t be possible. There are always those that will try to take control, but with the new people here. It will be harder.”

“I hope so,” Peter said quietly.

 

There were new improvements all over Makarovia. Now that there was more money coming in those improvements were well on the way. New heating units were being installed in the palace. With these improvements, there was a need for new laborers to make the improvements.

There were so many more people in the palace. Not just workers for the palace or laborers, but Olek’s office was in the palace and there were more people seeing him, bringing reports and other Makarovian things the king had to be appraised of.

The mixture of East and West for upcoming Christmas Season was going to be interesting. Eastern Orthodox and Western religions were now simultaneously being observed. The Santa Claus the people from the West was now being seen more as well as Svyatyi Mykolai, Makarovian’s and Ukraine’s version of St. Nicholas were being seen.

Not all the stores were underground naturally, but there were now entrances from underground to gain access to these stores. There was still none of those large malls or chain stores overly decorated for the upcoming Christmas. Most Makarovians who could shop online. Most had ordered a while back to make sure what they wanted to give was here in time. Who needs that Christmas rush anyway?

 

Makarovia took on a whole new meaning for me. As cold as it could be, it was beautiful. Peter and I ventured out during the daylight of the afternoon. Standing on the bluff near the palace everything was covered in pristine white with that clean feeling that came with snow. The hush that was always accompanying scenes like this was…amazing. Almost no traffic on the streets as everyone was moving around underground. The river that ran by was frozen now on the surface. I saw a movie a long time ago, “The Silver Skates” or something where there was a village that skated on the canals that ran by their village. The Netherlands, I think. Here as the day got brighter there were people skating on the river ice! Then I noticed someone on a large patch of ice near the river. They had erected a series of raised wooden seats near what was clearly a skating rink.

“Peter,” I pointed to the man and ice, “what’s he doing?”

Peter looked and grinned. “That’s where the guys play hockey.”

“And you used to play hockey on it?” I asked.

“Yes, I did.”

“Don’t you like hockey?” I asked.

“Sure, but I don’t have time…”

“You do now!” I said brightly. “Isn’t there scheduled games or something?”

Peter gave a shrugging nod. “Well, there can be, but usually guys just gather and…just play at the warmest part of the day. It takes place in a couple of hours. It’s just understood.”

“You have your equipment,” I said knowing he did.

“Sure, but…”

“Why are you hesitating? Why can’t you play?” I saw his eyes were looking tempted. “You want to, I can tell.” I pointed at his gray-green eyes.

“I haven’t in a few years, but…”

“You’re a prince now and above it now?” I challenged with a grin.

Peter chuckled. “Nooo…I was a prince before, but…” He grinned at me. “Are you going to play?”

I shook my head. “I can’t stand up on ice skates; weak ankles or something. That’s probably why could never stand on pointe. Besides, in Charleston, there wasn’t enough ice to learn to skate. Even Asheville didn’t have that much.” I waved at the surrounding white. “Not like this.”

Peter was giving in. “Tell you what.” He said poking me lightly on the chest. “You talk Olek into playing and I will! He was a good player.”

“I bet he was.” I grabbed his hand and was dragging him back to the palace.

Up in Olek’s office we went in as he was talking on the phone again. After the call, he looked up and smiled. “Hi!”

“Can you take a couple of hours away from…this?” I waved at the many papers on his desk.

“I suppose, for what?” Olek asked.

“Hockey!” I said happily.

“Hockey!?” Olek’s eyes widened as he repeated a little stunned.

“As in you and Peter, down on the ice and playing hockey,” I said leaning over his desk at him. “You can I heard. I want to see you do it.”

“I haven’t played in almost a decade!” Olek groused.

“Then, I say it’s way overdue!” I grinned. “Peter will play only if you do.”

“I’m in my forties!!” Olek objected.

“So? You’re in great shape!” I said pointing at him. “I’ve seen you naked and know you are. Come on. I love hockey.”

“But he won’t play,” Peter said to his brother.

“Ice needed, remember? I told you that. I can’t skate on ice.” I said back at Peter. “No ice, no ice hockey.” I turned back to Olek. “He wants to.” I waved at Peter. I looked at Olek. “You do, too!” I pointed to his face. “I can tell.”

“I don’t even know where my skates are!” Olek said with his hands out defensively.

“I have an extra pair,” Peter said now smiling. “We have the same size feet.” Olek frowned at the collaboration, but he was just as tempted as Peter was.

“Come on, the Ivanov boys back on the ice!!” I said excitedly.

I watched him mull it over in his head. “Well, it has been a while…” he smiled. He looked over at his desk. “I suppose…”

“Olek,” I said softly. “You’re king. Is there anything here that can’t wait?” I waved at the papers on his desk and to his computer.

“They’re getting the ice ready,” Peter added tempting his brother more. “Only a couple of hours from now they play.”

Olek smiled at his brother, knowing what Peter was doing. “Let me make a quick call.” He grabbed his cellphone and hit a button. “Helga…I’m stepping away from the office a few hours…” he listened and nodded, “…no, my brothers want me to play hockey with them…”

“With Peter,” I said loud enough for her to hear.

“…with Peter. They don’t play hockey where Eric was raised.” Olek said looking mockingly pitying me. His smile grew. “Right outside…okay?” He said happily. “Just letting you know I might not answer too quickly.” He grinned at whatever she said. “I will…I love you.” He said closing his phone. “Let me change!” He got up and saw Gretchen passing by. “Gretchen, I’ll be out of the office.”

“He’s playing hockey!” Peter grinned.

Gretchen looked surprised but then smiled. “I think that’s wonderful.” She said nodding. “We’ll handle things here. We know where you’ll be!”

Peter and Olek went to change and we went back down to the ground area to go to the makeshift rink. I was smiling at the number of guys that were assembled…and there were spectators. Gretchen had probably let people locally know the king was playing hockey. They came to see that.

An older man, in his fifties, looked up smiling as we arrived.

“Your Majesty, Your Highness, and My Lord, I got a call you were coming.” The man smiled bowing. “You want to play!?”

I knew Gretchen had called.

“Can we?” Olek asked.

“Of course!” The man waved at the other men of various ages from their twenties to fifties gathered to play. “But they’re not going to easy on you.” He warned good-naturedly.

Olek smiled waving at the men. “That’s fair.” Then he got this predatory look. “I won’t go easy on them, either!”

“Okay!” The man said happily. “Get those skates on and let’s go!”

I watched as Peter and Olek put their skates on. They had dressed for the cold, it was three in the afternoon now, but still cold. They were given colors to show what team they were on. Olek and Peter decided they should not be on the same team. I did love hockey. There was a good difference between professional hockey, minor league hockey and this… These men were playing by rules I thought were to be followed, but the term I didn’t know the Makarovian or Ukrainian word for high-sticking. You know, the touching the other player above the shoulder. Cross-checking? Hitting the other player with both hands on the hockey stick with no part of the stick on the ice. Head-butting? That shouldn’t need explaining. Hooking? Using the hockey stick to trip the other player. Elbowing? Hitting the other player with your elbow! There were all these other violations, but no one was stopping them. Hockey was not an easy sport and these guys…just like many, many who played got caught up in it and were determined to win! Fighting! Oh, yes. There were a few human beings that didn’t like hockey, but it seemed to me that any human being with a Y chromosome loved a fight! If not being in one, just watching one. Now the king and prince were joining the game!

I was right. There wasn’t that much ice to skate on in South Carolina except in rinks, which you had to dress to go and…go! None of this, let’s go outside and skate like here. Peter and Olek, like every man out there, seemed to have been raised to be on the ice. It was second nature for them as they easily skated out on the ice.

The game began and as they played, that aggressive, primal nature just surfaced in no time. They were doing all of the violations almost immediately! Olek and Peter were doing them, too! No, this was no professional game or minor league game. I knew there would be blood! I saw Peter use his stick many times to slow or stop the other player from getting the puck! He did it to Olek! Olek did it back! They were having fun! I heard yelling and cursing at other players and to Olek and Peter who came right back at the men! Were they homosexual or heterosexual? It didn’t matter. They were men!

I saw Helga arrive. She was wearing a thick fur coat, but watched as a player deliberately used his elbow to block Olek, hitting Olek in the face! Her gloved hands came to her face in shock shaking her head and walked over to me.

“What possessed Olek and Peter to do this!?” She asked in disbelief sitting next to me.

I looked a little sheepish. “I’m afraid it’s my fault.”

“Your fault!?” Helga asked shocked.

“Peter loves to play and hasn’t in a while.” I waved at the rink. “I had no idea they played so…rough!” I cringed as a man was hit in the face by another elbow. “Damn, that had to hurt.”

“They could be killed,” Helga said weakly.

I shook my head. “No. They won’t go that far.” I waved at Olek and Peter. “Look at the smiles on their faces. They are having fun!”

“They could lose teeth or break an arm or leg,” Helga said holding her mouth as another player was speared in the gut with the end of a hockey stick.

“They may be grown men, Helga, but really…they’re a bunch of little boys!” I frowned as Peter was hit again in the face. “They are having fun.”

Helga gave a reluctant nod. “I suppose.” She gave a groan and closed her eyes as Olek got hit again with an opponent’s stick in his midsection.

“I wish it weren’t so…raw, but,” I waved at them, “Olek and Peter played here for years. They knew how this was played here and were eager to get out there.”

“Why aren’t you!?” Helga asked.

“I can’t skate!” I said again. “I would if I could skate.”

The first quarter ended and they switched the goals as was the rule they did follow. They started again.

Peter’s team was down by three when the third quarter was to begin. One of the players called for a breather before they started again. Peter and Olek skated over to us. Peter had the beginnings of a black eye. Olek was bleeding from his nose, but both had big smiles. Even though it was cold out, they had both sweated and their hair was everywhere.

“Oh, Sweetie!” Helga said reaching in her fur pocket and pulled a tissue and wiped Olek’s nose. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

Olek nodded. “I am!” He looked at Peter. “Are you?”

“Hell, yea!” Peter nodded kissing me. “I think I forgot how much fun this is!”

I nodded kissing him again. “I thought so.” I ran my fingers in his hair. “Do you have to be so…”

“Rough?” Helga added.

Both Peter and Olek looked puzzled. “Yes. This is how it’s played in Makarovia.” Olek said simply. “It’s a rough sport.”

“No penalty box?” I asked.

“No penalties. Unless someone breaks a leg or something.” Peter explained. “It helps with aggression. They need an outlet, this does that.”

They called again to start the last quarter and Olek and Peter skated back out on the ice. In the end, Peter’s team lost. Yet, they all congratulate each other as they broke up promising to do it again, but the evening was coming and the temperature would drop.

Going back up the elevator Olek hugged his brother. “That was a good game.” He said bumping his head against Peter’s. He hugged me. “Thank you, Eric. I did enjoy that.”

Helga nodded, smiling as she pulled Olek down the corridor. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” She looked at me. “I’ll take care of this one. You have that one.” She chuckled pointing at Peter. She put her arm around Olek shaking her head. “A bunch of rowdy little boys.” She muttered.

In our room, I got the shower on hot as I helped Peter undress. He was sore. I got him to look at me. Did you have fun?”

Peter nodded with a chuckle. “I did.” He kissed me deeply. “I really had forgotten how much fun it is.”

I reached up and gently touched the cheek near his left eye I saw was swelling and darkening. “You’ll have a black eye.”

Peter chuckled nodding. “Yes! It’s great, isn’t it?” He said proudly.

Copyright © 2017 R. Eric; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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That was an awesome chapter. It was just so happy. I could picture it in my mind and I too had a smile through-out. It is good to break-out every so often and just be free. To just live in that moment...Happy!

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7 minutes ago, Phoenix1977 said:

the movie you describe may play in the Netherlands but the entire story is American fiction

Sure, I know this. Nonetheless, it was a movie and real story, really seen.  It was a story.  There was even a muppet movie where they did the same thing.  You can't imagine my country based on the many, many movies either.  It was on the ice and it was a story.  

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4 hours ago, droughtquake said:

So now you’re going to take away my Y chromosome because I don’t like fights or violence?  ;-)

Yes, we're going rip that sucker out of you!!  :yes:

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This was another great chapter. I really liked when Peter and Eric were in the tunnels and met up with Fedir and Kurt and stood talking to them about the changes that are happening in the tunnels. When they got back to the palace they met Olek and Helga kissing, not to be outdone Eric pulled Peter in and gave him a great big kiss. After talking to Olek and Helga for a bit they went to their room then later they went outside and saw that they were getting the ice ready for a hockey game when Eric saw that and knowing that Peter loved the game but hadn't played in awhile, and Eric used that to the effect that he urged Peter to play in the game. Peter told Eric that he would play only if Olek would play as well, so Eric and Peter went to Olek and asked him if he could possibly find the time to go out and play in the hockey game with Peter. I'm glad that they were able to play in the game and had fun doing it. I hope that we'll see more about the holiday season in Makarovia and if the ideas for anyone who wants to do a snow sculpture and possibly help build an ice castle. 

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1 hour ago, Phoenix1977 said:

So I really hope you haven't imagined my country based on that film :-)

Naw! We know you all live in windmills, wear wooden shoes, and call your whole country ‘Holland’!  ;-)

 

Oh, and little boys have to poke their fingers in tiny holes in dikes to plug them all the time! Do they have classes outdoors for all those kids stuck sealing the holes? And haven’t they figured out a way to prevent those holes from eroding through all of your dikes yet?  ;-)

Edited by droughtquake
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1 minute ago, droughtquake said:

Naw! We know you all live in windmills, wear wooden shoes, and call your whole country ‘Holland’!  ;-)

Play nicely, boys.  This is all fiction.  :P  A prince marrying a man. Yes, it's fiction.  :glomp:

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37 minutes ago, droughtquake said:

And haven’t they figured out a way to prevent those holes from eroding through all of your dikes yet?  ;-)

 

The problem are all the tiny water serpents that keep eating through our dikes. Not to mention the low birth rate in the Netherlands due to all those boys with their fingers in the dikes so anytime soon we'll run out of little boys to do so ...

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36 minutes ago, R. Eric said:

Play nicely, boys.  This is all fiction.  :P  A prince marrying a man. Yes, it's fiction.  :glomp:

Well, he's not wrong about the "Holland" part, but that's mostly because tourists no longer understand. I mean, it's "the Netherlands" (plural) but we use is in a singular form all the time. Pretty much the same as with "United States" and America :P

 

Edited by Phoenix1977
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1 minute ago, Phoenix1977 said:

The problem are all the tiny water serpents that keep eating through our dikes. Not to mention the low birth rate in the Netherlands due to all those boys with their fingers in the dikes so anytime soon we'll run out of little boys to do so ...

Whoa!  Aren't there enough straights in Holland?  They need to get busy!  You'll flood!  :P

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Just now, R. Eric said:

Whoa!  Aren't there enough straights in Holland?  They need to get busy!  You'll flood!  :P

Yeah, but those straight boys are stuck in the dikes. I mean, us gays are simply too fabulous to spend all that time outdoors, being subject to the elements ... :-)

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3 minutes ago, Phoenix1977 said:

Well, he's not wrong about the "Holland" part, but that's mostly because tourists no longer understand. I mean, it's "the Netherlands" (plural) but we use is in a singular form all the time. Pretty much the same as with "United States" and America :-P

 

With the US, we coopted the adjective for pretty much an entire hemisphere, while you use the name of two states to describe yourself – it’s as if we called ourselves ‘Dakota’ or ‘Carolina’!  ;-)

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6 minutes ago, Phoenix1977 said:

Yeah, but those straight boys are stuck in the dikes. …being subject to the elements

Since they’re all stoned all the time, they probably don’t notice!  ;-)

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Yikes that sounded like a rough game, but fun none the less. Beautiful chapter i must say. Thank you for sharing your whispers with us once again. Hope you are doing okay.

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24 minutes ago, Phoenix1977 said:

Yeah, but those straight boys are stuck in the dikes. I mean, us gays are simply too fabulous to spend all that time outdoors, being subject to the elements ... :-)

I will be blunt here.  I read, while doing research on human anatomy, that men from the Netherlands...Holland had the biggest balls of the human race.  Asians, I'm sorry had the smallest.  (I'd be happy to see evidence to the contrary,  as in photos that prove that is or isn't true.)  I'm sure Asians can have a good pair of low-hangers.  But the men of Holland are three times as big!!  Lots of sperm in those nads!  Is that true?  I want to see the evidence!!  :yes:  

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16 minutes ago, R. Eric said:

I want to see the evidence!!  :yes:  

I would submit that the small population of the Netherlands proves that big balls aren’t necessarily related to fertility! Remember where the highest population countries are! Testicle size is an aesthetic preference, not necessarily a biological advantage.  ;-)

 

Are you suggesting that the bisexual male population of the Netherlands is responsible for entire reproductivity of the country? (Since all the straight boys are stoned out of their minds while plugging the holes in dikes and all the Gay boys are unlikely to be reproducing in large numbers.) That might explain why prostitutes need to advertise themselves in brothel windows to drum up business!  ;-)

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1 minute ago, droughtquake said:

I would submit that the small population of the Netherlands proves that big balls aren’t necessarily related to fertility! 

So, that means I don't get the evidence?   :(

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9 minutes ago, R. Eric said:

So, that means I don't get the evidence?   :(

No offense @Phoenix1977, but with Great Apes, larger testicles are correlated with promiscuity and smaller testicles with monogamous behavior.  ;-)

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3 hours ago, Phoenix1977 said:

The problem are all the tiny water serpents that keep eating through our dikes. Not to mention the low birth rate in the Netherlands due to all those boys with their fingers in the dikes so anytime soon we'll run out of little boys to do so ...

So, really the dikes need 'dykes' not dicks to help plug those holes being drilled by the tiny water serpents. A few butch-engineering-type dykes and they could fix the dikes in New Orleans, Houston and The Netherlands.

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