Flash In The Pan - 10. Reflections

Ben stretched out on the grassy river bank, sleepy after a summer's picnic with family. The sun was perfect – comfortably warm without burning. Shorts and a tee weather. They had too few days like that. He'd ended up eating too much – those delicate sandwich triangles were deceptive. And the miniature sausage rolls, and mini quiches … His mum and his two aunties had put on a real spread. It was all finger food, but after he'd refilled his plate several times, he was now very full. Ben raised himself on his elbow so he could take a gulp or two from his cola. He imagined a silhouette of his toned, youthful frame distorted by his stomach, swollen to bursting point with all that he'd eaten.

The resulting cartoonish image made him snort with laughter. The giggles were rapidly overtaken by a wave of coughing. The last gulp of cola had gone down the wrong way. Crimson-faced, Ben managed to sit up fully. Gasping and coughing, he tried to get his breathing back under control. A comforting arm wrapped itself tightly round his shoulders.

“You OK, Ben?”

Ben nodded, all he was capable of doing until the coughing subsided. He turned to look at his boyfriend through watering eyes. Zach's hand was now stroking his back, soothing him like a baby.

Finally, Ben regained his voice. “God … Sorry, Zach.”

“Sure you're OK?” Zach was peering at him through his shades. They weren't only there for decorative purposes. His boyfriend was short-sighted.

“Yeah. Cola and a fit of giggles don't go together.” Ben wiped his eyes and blew his nose.

“I'd say so.”

Alarm over, both men looked down to the water's edge where a young girl was sitting on the landing stage. She was staring at the water, idly kicking her legs against the wooden posts. The sun shining on the gentle ripples in the water was creating beautiful, ever-changing patterns.

Zach cocked his head in her direction. “Remind me who that is. I swear your family multiplies every time I meet them.”

“No, they don't.” Ben jabbed his boyfriend playfully in the ribs. “You, Zach Phillips, have the attention span of a gnat. How many times have I gone through a who's who?”

Zach rolled his eyes. “Well, astonish me one more time with your powers of recall. Maybe I'll remember more this time. Or maybe I should be taking notes?”

That earned him another jab.

The two men cuddled closer in the warm sunshine. The riverbank, and the surrounding park were a public space, but with Ben's family all around, they felt safe enough.

“OK …” Ben spoke with exaggerated patience. “That young lady over there is Gilly, one of my cousins. The youngest.”

“Gilly.” Zach repeated the name in the hope that it would stick this time. He raised an eyebrow. “And how many cousins are there?”

Ben thought for a moment. “Err … four? Five. Oh … even I lose count sometimes.”

“See! I'm not that bad then.” Though Zach admitted his memory for names was poor.

He smirked, then pushed his partner flat. A short tussle on the grass ensued until they were called to order by Ben's mother. After brushing themselves off, they sat down again. Zach returned to watching the young girl, Gilly.

“She's pretty.”

“Hmm …” Ben pulled a face. “She's a bit of a handful sometimes, Mum says. Aunt Jane keeps moaning to her about what Gilly gets up to after school.”

Zach gave his boyfriend a quick tickle. “And I bet you were a pain at her age as well. Before I came along later to teach you better things. Those freckles conceal a reformed monster, I'm sure of it.”

“No.” Ben looked indignant. “I was a good boy. I worked hard at school. Always did my homework.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I was.” Angelic expression.

“Why don't I believe you?”

“'cause you're a disbelieving toad.”

Zach snorted. Then a few moments later, a more serious thought came to him. “Is a parent's love for their child finite, d'you think?”

“Dunno.” Ben picked at blades of grass while he considered. “Mum? I think she'd love me whatever. Dad never shows anything, but I pretty sure he'd be the same. Why?”

“Nothing.”

“It can't be nothing, Zach. Not that kind of thought.”

Zach kept on staring at his bare feet.

“Tell me, Zach. Please.” Ben moved closer. “Has something happened with you and your dad?”

Zach shook his head. “No. We're still in a state of armed truce. Neither of us is prepared to give ground. Same old, same old …”

He gathered his courage, though his eyes remained fixed on his feet.

“We're in for the long term, you and me?” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ben nodding. Zach took a deep breath. “Once we've been in our new jobs for a couple of years, I'd like us to think about starting a family.” Zach felt himself blushing.

“What?”

Zach turned slightly to see Ben's mouth hanging open. His heart sank. “Oh … I thought …”

Ben wrapped his arms round him. “Of course the answer's 'yes', you idiot. You took me by surprise. I've been thinking the same. It'll take longer though. We'll have to save, and work hard. We need our own place to have children. Even if it's only rented.”

They were only just out of uni, in their first jobs. Home for them both was a room in a house-share. Separate houses, though close enough.

Zach sighed. “Yeah. But when it happens, I know the love we'll have for our children will be infinite.”

Ben kissed him. “Yes, it will.”