The Night Before Aaron's First Christmas - 1. The Night Before Aaron's First Christmas

The wind outside would sometimes cause the truck to sway slightly while the overcast sky made the morning seem a little depressing, but Jacob Howard didn’t have time to worry about such things. His plan had been to just go out and grab what was needed and come right back home. A few stray dark thoughts about his husband drifted in and out of his imagination, since it was Kyle’s fault he had to trek across the county on Christmas Eve. He was the one who started the day with the dreaded announcement, “we’re almost out of diapers.”

Jacob couldn’t stop himself from smirking, recalling their friendly argument over breakfast that had been spawned by that revelation. “Before I left the house yesterday to get the last of the things we needed for the party, didn’t I ask if we needed anything for Aaron?”

Kyle had sighed and attempted to defend himself as only a lawyer can. “At the time you asked, I didn’t have a proper inventory list on hand. My understanding was that we had enough for four days which would be enough to get us through Christmas.”

“And now…?” He had heard Stephanie giggle quietly as she was watching the playful confrontation while feeding their two month old baby at the kitchen table. Jacob leaned in towards Kyle’s guilty smirk with a playful look in his eyes. If he hadn’t been in such a good mood with the upcoming party that night, he’d like to think he would be honestly displeased with Kyle. But the truth was, after six months of marriage and two months into their new adventure as parents of two boys, there wasn’t much he didn’t love about him.

“It would appear I may have been wrong,” Kyle replied with a guilty smile. He was honestly sorry, but he saw that sparkle in Jacob’s eyes and knew he was feeling more playful than upset. The stores would still be open for a few more hours so they had time. “Do you want me to go?”

“No no, I’ll go,” he said. “It’s windy out and I’d feel better taking the truck than you driving around in your car with your bald tires. But, before I go, does anyone else need anything?” He looked around the kitchen to Stephanie and David who shook their heads.

“Hurry back,” David said as he leaned against the counter with his coffee in hand. His voice still lingered with the amusement of watching his favorite boys play fight in front of him. “I don’t like the sound of that wind.”

“I will,” he said as he rose from his seat. “It’ll probably be a madhouse at WalMart anyway.” Jacob turned to Matt who was still munching on his cereal. “You wanna be my co-pilot?”

Matt’s eyes lit up as he quickly scarfed down what was in his mouth. “Yeah!” He hopped down from his seat and scrambled up to his bedroom to get changed. Now an energetic five year old, Matt was always up for going somewhere with his other dad. It was hard to imagine for either of his dads that he would be starting school next year. Jacob went to grab his boots along with a thicker shirt to go over the light t-shirt he had been wearing during breakfast. Before he put on his coat, he made sure Matt was bundled up. Jacob went over to Stephanie and leaned in to carefully kiss Aaron’s soft head before giving Stephanie a thankful smile.

He never really expected to like her much but over the better part of the year she’s been living with them, carrying the baby and nursing him, they’ve formed a warm friendship. He understood her better now than he used to. She wasn’t the acerbic woman with the haughty attitude he originally saw her as. She was a complex woman who had her own goals but had put them aside - not once, but twice - for her friend. He learned she used humor to diffuse tense situations, bring someone down a peg when it was needed and generally just to keep things interesting. After she gave birth to Aaron, the two of them formed a lasting friendship. Jacob felt that it was that new friendship - formed with not just him but with the rest of Kyle’s friends - that made her want to stay. She was still working her way into figuring that out, but she knew as long as she was in this house she would always be welcome.

“Hey, Dad, maybe I’ll see if I can find some glasses for Kyle while I’m out.” He flashed Kyle a mock glare and a quick air kiss as David laughed into his coffee cup. He took Matt’s hand and shut the door, heading out into the cold December wind.

That had been three hours ago. Traffic had been sparse in town but when they got to WalMart, Jacob was stunned to find that they were out of the size of diapers they needed. Aaron wasn’t quite a newborn but he was still too small for any of the other sizes that were left on the shelves. He knew the rest of the stores in town were closed and that left no other choice but to make the twenty minute drive to Butler and hope he would get there in time. He was thankful that there was no snow on the ground. Once he was in Butler, the traffic slowed, no doubt because he wasn’t the only one from the area who was in need of last minute items. And it was there that the lines were long, the people were desperate and everything moved slower as everyone was trying to get last minute things before the stores closed for the next two days.

The longer drive had proven to be good for him though. A couple glances in the rearview mirror showed him Matt was occupied with his little earbuds in, playing a game on his pad he and Kyle recently got him. It was mostly to keep him occupied at times, but the games were advertised as educational for kindergarteners and it’s paid for itself in the entertainment he and Kyle get just watching him puzzle through simple learning tasks. That left Jacob to his own thoughts which lately have been going back to Aaron. Two months since his birth and Jacob still felt a warmth in his chest whenever he looked at him or any time Aaron made a noise of any kind. It was all new experiences for him, and while he and Kyle have experienced it all together, he could tell for Kyle it was, in some ways, a replay of his first months with Matt. Jacob hadn’t wanted to miss a single moment with his baby. While he was forced to work in his workshop most days, he would frequently get away just to check to see if his son had done anything new.

Even with David, Troy and Kyle around him as seasoned parents, Jacob still checked for information online and admittedly made more phone calls to the doctor than he probably needed. He wanted to do the best job he could as a father for their new son. Kyle had commented on his near obsession with a light-hearted attitude, but Jacob didn’t want to waste a moment. He was always watching and waiting to see what Aaron would do next.

When he first held Aaron in his arms, Jacob felt lighter than air. The wonder in that face, with the thin dark hair on his little head and those deep blue eyes. He wasn’t sure what to expect while he was in the delivery room with Stephanie. He definitely didn’t expect tears the second he heard Aaron’s first cries or how he started crying the moment the nurse first put his son in his arms. As much as he had loved Matt in the beginning, and still does, Aaron had grabbed his heart with his tiny hands and held it in a vice-like grip. He never got tired of looking at Aaron. Those first few careful moments in the hospital before they got to take him home.

Even his relationships with everyone else changed. As much as he loved Kyle the day they were married, that feeling only intensified with the birth of their son. As Kyle watched him, holding his newborn son in his arms, there were no words between them. None were needed. A touch or a look was all they needed to show there everlasting love for each other. When Troy and the others came to visit right after the birth, he saw in their eyes their unconditional love for him that for some reason he never saw before that day. Even after all their time together, he knew he had still been holding back on them and the realization brought tears to his eyes as he held his son in his arms for all of them to see. Now, he felt more connected to them all in ways he knew he could never really put into words and would last forever. And, in his mind and his heart, David was never just David anymore. He used to call him “dad” before then and he did mean it, but there was always that small lingering imprint of his biological father inside him that remained attached to him that prevented him from completely feeling like he belonged. But, he was his Dad now. His only dad and his example he wanted to follow in how to raise Aaron.

Jacob typically took the lead most of the time. He was the first to jump in and help Stephanie whenever she needed anything. Night feedings had started as a challenge but Jacob went out of his way to make sure he took on the majority of that duty, even if he was the one still working and Kyle was more or less a stay at home dad for the time being. But Jacob never minded the late nights alone with his son. Nothing had become more precious to him than those quiet moments of the night, bottle in hand, as he cradled Aaron in his arm while sitting in the sturdy rocking chair he made himself, watching the little marvel and talking to him.

He told Aaron stories about where he came from, about his fathers - how they met and fell in love together and how he couldn’t imagine a life without his husband. He told Aaron about his uncles and how much he loved them and how he knew they were going to love him. He told him about his grandfather who wept tears of joy when he heard the news that he had a brand new grandson. And he told him about his big brother who was so excited the day Aaron first came home. All that time spent the last two months with his son, all he would get in reply was a few grunts as he sucked on his bottle of breastmilk. Jacob couldn’t deny a sense of disappointment at times but he also knew not to let it bother him. He knew that bond between them would grow eventually.

Even though it was just after noon, the gloomy sky coupled with the buffeting winds made it seem so much later by the time Jacob pulled the truck into its parking space near his workshop. He’d been up twice the previous night with Aaron and the one cup of coffee he’d managed to drink before he had to run off to get diapers (and baby wipes just in case Kyle forgot about those too) wasn’t up to the task of keeping him awake anymore. He helped Matt out of his carseat before grabbing the diapers and the other bag and headed back in to get some more coffee to keep himself awake before the party.

He walked into the kitchen, finding it empty. “Go ahead upstairs and charge up your pad before it dies, kiddo.”

“Dad?” Matt looked up at Jacob’s face with troubled eyes.

“What is it,” he asked as he knelt down next to him.

Matt hesitated for a moment before he asked, “how come I don’t get to hold Aaron?”

Jacob smiled softly and he felt a little bad for Matt. Ever since they brought Aaron home from the hospital, the baby had taken the lion’s share of the attention from Kyle and Jacob. “Matt, Aaron is still really little and he needs a lot of help right now from all of us. Maybe in a couple months when he can hold his head up, if you wanna hold him, that will be fine. You just have to be patient, son.”

“Okay, Dad.” Matt smiled a little, seemingly satisfied. He shrugged out of his coat and headed upstairs to his room. Jacob could only smirk as he watched him head up to his bedroom. He was never going to get tired of hearing that.

Jacob grabbed a soda from the fridge and wandered through the oddly quiet house that was decorated for the holidays. The Christmas tree he and Kyle got was in the hallway next to the front door with all the ornaments of a lifetime of memories hanging from its branches. Hard to believe in a couple hours the house would be full of people and noise when their friends all gathered for their annual celebration. It felt different this year, though. Like a constant undercurrent of excitement buzzing around inside him that grew a little more each day. He’d always enjoyed Christmas since he first came to live in this house, but now it held more meaning. It was probably due mostly to the ring on his finger and the baby in the house. Six months and it always seemed they were busy with the baby or he was busy working to support his family, but the love they felt for each other still felt the same way it did back in high school. Only now, it’s stronger. Built now on a stronger foundation of understanding and appreciation for the hard road they both had to travel to get them to where they are now.

Jacob poked his head into the living room, finding David quietly sitting there in his new recliner Jacob and Kyle got him for Christmas. He’d missed his old one and seating in the room tended to get sparse when there’s six children and at least five adults in the house. A small table had been set up in the room for later when it was time for the kids to eat. It used to be that the kitchen table alone was enough for them, but with the additions to their family that had been added over the last year or so, David and Kyle felt they needed to expand. Jacob did his part by building a new dining room table that was big enough to seat ten now, though tonight it was only going to be eight of them. David glanced up from the book in his hands and gave Jacob a warm smile. “Hey, what took so long?”

“No diapers in town the right size. Had to run all the way to Butler and back. Traffic was horrible and the lines there were worse than here. Where’s Steph and Kyle?”

“Stephanie is upstairs taking a nap and Kyle’s in your room with the baby.” David still couldn’t say the last part without a wide grin covering his face. Two years ago, he didn’t even know he had one grandson and now he was blessed with two. He’d been respectful of the two very proud fathers and stayed out of the general business of raising the children. But he would occasionally exert his authority as head of the household to take Matt out with him on errands or hold Aaron in his arms while the others were busy.

“Presents all set? Ham is in the oven?” Jacob and Kyle had spent what little free time they had buying presents for everyone. Presents for Troy and the others were from Jacob and Kyle. Presents for the kids were from Matthew or Grandpa. David bought a few of his own for everyone but it was becoming clear to him that Jacob and Kyle were taking the lead this year as far as organizing things. It’s been a long standing tradition in the Howard house that turkey was for Thanksgiving and a large spiral sliced ham was served on Christmas.

“Everything is running smoothly. The ham will go in the oven when it’s time and I have everything else taken care of,” David assured him. “You should get some rest. And don’t tell me you feel fine because I know you better. You were probably up all night with the baby. Go lay down and I’ll take care of things.”

Jacob chuckled silently and held his hands up in defeat. “Okay. Make sure Matt isn’t too loud up there while Stephanie’s resting.” David just nodded absently, going back to his book as Jacob headed down the new back hallway that led to his and Kyle’s bedroom area. Quietly opening the door, he set the bags down next to the other baby items he and Kyle kept in their sitting room. Aaron’s playpen had been moved in here from the living room with the anticipated crowd showing up later. As he opened the door to their bedroom, he smiled. He put so much effort into this room when they added the new addition. He still found himself surprised at his own work. From the stylized wood accents in the corners, the doorways with the flowing celtic designs that Kyle was so impressed with and the handmade king-size bed that dominated the room along with the armoire, dresser and the sitting bench at the end of the bed. This room was completely theirs. He’d wanted to put in hardwood flooring as well, but Kyle drew a line there and insisted in carpet. Jacob had to grudgingly admit, it was better on bare feet.

Kyle was laying on his side on top of their king-sized bed, facing the crib Aaron was asleep in. Jacob removed his boots and the flannel shirt before joining his husband on the bed, wrapping an arm around his waist and giving his neck a soft kiss.

“Nick of time, sweetie,” Kyle muttered as he smiled and pressed himself back against Jacob’s warm body. “Only had two diapers left.”

Jacob grinned and gripped Kyle closer. “You know I was only kidding…”

He felt Kyle’s body shake in silent laughter. “Of course I knew, silly.” He turned his head to look back at Jacob with a smile. “And, before you ask, no, he hasn’t done anything. We played for a little bit and I put him on his stomach to get him comfortable with the idea of lifting himself up on his own. After that, he got tired and we laid down for a nap.”

Jacob yawned despite himself. “It’s fine. The party will probably wear him out. Hopefully he won’t get too cranky.”

“Speaking of getting cranky…” Kyle freed himself of Jacob’s grip to turn and meet Jacob’s eyes. “We need to have a serious talk about Aaron.”

Jacob felt a little fear creep into him. “Why? What’s wrong with him?”

“Aaron’s fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“I’m fine, just a little tired.”

“No, you’re very tired. You’ve been up with Aaron every night for the last week except for one night.”

Jacob shrugged. “So? It’s my job to feed him at night.”

“No, sweetheart, it’s our job.” Kyle smiled softly to soften his words. “You’ve been doing an amazing job Jacob and I am so very proud of you. But you’re not Superman. You can’t do it all.”

Jacob said nothing at first, opting to just smile softly because he knew Kyle was saying this because of his love for him. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I promise I’ll let you take your turns getting up with him.”

“Okay. I’m just worried about you thinking you have to shoulder all the responsibility. We’re in this together, remember?”

“I know.” He leaned in to kiss Kyle’s lips softly. “I guess it’s just because I made him so… Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. It shouldn’t matter, but on some level in my brain it does.”

Kyle chuckled softly. “Jacob… I know it matters. You said I was a great dad once? You should see yourself in action with Aaron.”

“Do you think I’m too attentive?”

“I think you’re running on paternal instinct. It’s all new to you and you may be feeling a little overwhelmed by the demands. And, honestly, while I know you can’t keep this pace up, I love you even more for trying.” He slowly ran his hand through Jacob’s dark hair. He kind of missed it being long but he had to admit, the shorter hair brought out his eyes more. “All I ask is that you let me take some of the burden off of you. You’re tired. Close your eyes and get some rest before the party tonight.”

“I love you.” Jacob allowed his head to rest on the pillows and closed his eyes. He felt Kyle’s kiss on his cheek before the fatigue started to set in and sleep claimed him.

He would vaguely remember voices in the room and feel the bed shift. At one point he heard an interesting sound come from Aaron that almost roused him to being fully awake but it wasn’t a sound that made his dulled mind think he was in any distress so he let Kyle handle it. Time seemed to blink forward and he felt the bed shift again, then Kyle’s whispered voice next to his ear. “Jacob, wake up. Troy and Liz are already here.”

Jacob opened his eyes and struggled to get up. “I need to change. Where’s the baby?”

“Upstairs with his mother, feeding. Then she’s gonna pump for awhile so we have some for me to feed him later on tonight. Everything is fine. Just get dressed and you can join the rest of us in the front room.” Kyle stayed long enough to make sure Jacob was on his feet and moving before leaving to return to the others.

Jacob hurried to find a good pair of jeans and a better shirt for the evening before he decided to go into the bathroom to wash his face. When he looked in the mirror, he was a little alarmed to see the bags under his eyes that he didn’t remember seeing before today. Maybe Kyle was more right than he wanted to admit. He cleaned himself up as best as he could before he walked out of the room and headed to the front of the house.

Nostalgia set in as he smelled the food in the air and the sounds of his friends voices. He stopped in the kitchen long enough to grab some iced tea and make sure Dad was doing alright with the cooking duties. He should have known better than to ask when he walked in, watching him effortlessly move from the stove to the fridge to the cabinets retrieving whatever spice or ingredient he needed. As soon as he poured the tea into a glass, David shooed him out of the kitchen to go enjoy himself.

He was no more than two steps out of the kitchen when the back door opened, letting a gust of cold air into the kitchen. “I swear, you two are gonna be the death of me!” Jacob broke into a grin and turned to watch Brian enter with Tanner and Blake in tow. Behind them he could see Andy’s grinning face.

“I didn’t do anything,” Blake said in protest even as Jacob saw a mischievous grin on his face.

“I think that was my point,” Brian admonished. He sounded serious but the boys and everyone else knew from experience he was just being overly dramatic. “When I say it’s time to get dressed, then get dressed because we need to go to grandpa’s for dinner.”

“Okay, Daddy. Sorry.” He looked to Tanner and giggled before running off to go find Matt.

“Hey, that’s not official yet,” Brian reminded him as he held the door open for Andy to bring the presents in before shutting it. He moved over to David and kissed his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Dad.”

David smiled. “Merry Christmas to you too. What’ve my boys been doing?”

Brian grinned. “Normally I’d ask you to be more specific but I’m assuming you mean Tanner and He-Who-Cannot-Read-A-Clock. Someone let them open a present early which, I’m sure you will be shocked to hear, was a video game which sent the boys into the basement spending hours playing around instead of getting dressed. As it is, I think I had to bribe them with money to get them to clean up and get dressed.”

David glanced behind him in Andy’s direction. “How come you let them open up a present?”

Andy stifled a chuckle as he replied, “Bri is leaving out the part about what he and I were doing while the boys were occupied.”

David laughed as Brian blushed slightly and rolled his eyes. “Andrew, Dad doesn’t need to know about that part.”

“Andy, you can put the presents in the study along with the rest of them. The rest of you get out of my kitchen so I can get done on time.” He shook his head, knowing the holiday spirit just got a little brighter as all his boys are under his roof. Jacob caught Brian up in a hug before escorting him into the living room where Kyle and Troy were sitting with the kids played on the floor, enjoying themselves.

“Where’s Steph and Elizabeth,” Brian asked as he walked in while Jacob seemed content to lean up against the doorway, sipping his tea.

“Upstairs with the baby,” Kyle said as he rose from his seat to hug Brian. “Where’s your fiance and why the hell are you two not married yet?”

“Christ, get off my back,” He grumbled even as he hugged Kyle warmly. “It’s in May, okay? May. We’ll make it all official and people can come and laugh and cry and do whatever they want while Andy stands there and blubbers on about promising to love me forever like he hasn’t done it a million times already.”

“God,” Troy said from his spot on the sofa, grinning up at him. “You make it all sound so romantic I’m surprised you can wait this long before you consummate your union.”

Brian’s eyes narrowed even as he smirked at Troy. “Eat me.”

“Pretty sure that’s my job,” Andy said as he walked in the room and hugged Jacob and then Kyle before sitting down next to Troy who put a warm arm around his friend’s shoulders. What no one was saying, but everyone knew, was that the wait was for Andy getting through his therapy at the VA. They had had to change his medication twice in the last six months in the hopes of helping him to better manage his PTSD. So far he’s had some success. “The plan is to get married on May 17th. We should be ready by then.”

“We will be ready by then.” Brian joined Andy on the sofa and slid his hand into Andy’s. Almost immediately Andy laced his fingers with Brian’s. “He’s doing a lot better the last few weeks. We’re hoping by early spring he can go back to work.”

Troy nodded in understanding. “No need to rush things. You guys take all the time you need.”

“Is anyone else going to be here tonight or is it just us,” Andy asked.

“Just family tonight,” Kyle replied with a small smile.

Andy smirked a little at that and his green eyes glimmered for a moment. “That’s cool. Where’s the new baby?”

“Upstairs eating,” Jacob explained just as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs behind him. When he turned his head, his saw Liz carrying Emily in her arms who was all dressed up. When their eyes met, Liz broke into a warm smile as she walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You make the cutest babies!”

Jacob chuckled and kissed her cheek before giving little Emily a kiss on the forehead as she beamed a bright smile. “I don’t know about the cutest. Troy’s done some good work in the past.”

“Well, there is that.” She gazed at her daughter fondly before walking into the living room to join the others. “Stephanie should be down in a minute with baby Aaron.”

Troy grinned up at Jacob as his wife joined him. “So, has it all totally sunk in yet that you’re a father now?”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Kyle said with a pointed look.

Jacob rolled his eyes. “Kyle…”

Troy looked from Kyle and back to Jacob. “Troubles?”

“No,” Jacob quickly interjected before Kyle could start prosecuting his case. “We discussed it already and I’m going to step back a little.”

“Step back?” Liz got a curious look on her face. “You know you can’t take him back and get a refund, right?”

Kyle sat down on the only empty sofa in the room and started in. “Oh, it’s not that. Jacob’s just been doing too much is all. He’s been getting up with Aaron for just about every night time feeding, cleaning up, diaper changes and doing all the errand running.”

“Wow. All of the night time feedings?” Liz didn’t bother to hide how impressed she was.

“Not all of them, but most. I probably only get up about twice a week with Aaron to feed him. Meanwhile, the only one of us working is getting up at midnight and two and four in the morning and he’s running himself into the ground.”

“I obviously married the wrong man,” Liz quipped as she gave Troy a playful smile, at which he just rolled his eyes at her with a quiet chuckle.

“Sorry, Liz,” Jacob said as he sat down next to Kyle. “You lack the proper equipment and I’m already taken.”

“Story of my life,” she said as she leaned against Troy, keeping Emily upright as she passed her onto Troy’s lap who was all too happy to give a warm cuddle and a kiss on the top of her head.

Jacob put his arm over Kyle’s shoulders and sighed. “I already told him I’d let him do half of the work from now on.”

“Nobody can raise a kid on their own, Jacob,” Troy said. “You gotta let Kyle help you.”

Liz shrugged. “In a couple months it won’t matter anyway. He’ll be sleeping through the night before you know it.”

“That’s wishful thinking,” David intoned as he suddenly entered the room. “I think Kyle was still waking me and Helen up when he was fourteen or fifteen months. No two babies are the same” He glanced behind him at something from out of everyone’s view and grinned. “Speaking of…”

Jacob was on his feet before he knew what he was doing just as Stephanie walked in carrying the tiny infant in her arm. When she walked in and saw everyone, Stephanie grinned happily. “Oh, everyone is here, I see.” She glanced at Jacob and her grin became more playful. “You can stand down, baby-daddy. Our little boy is doing just fine.” Jacob reached out a hand to gently touch the back of the baby’s head.

“Did you already take care of the burping,” he asked quietly as he looked down at his infant son.

Steph sighed and replied. “Of course I did. You wanna go put him down for a nap before we eat?” She gently maneuvered her arm to let Jacob take the baby.

“Here in a minute,” he replied to her. Once he had Aaron cradled in his arms and making sure to be careful, Jacob knelt down onto the floor and almost instantly Matt was up and stepping over to him. Blake and the other boys soon followed suit to look down at the baby in Jacob’s arms. “Okay, boys. I know you saw the pictures and all but since you’re all here now, here is Matt’s new little brother. His name is Aaron Scott.”

“Hi, Aaron…”

“He’s so small.”

“Emily was that small too.”

“I told you I was getting a little brother, Blake.”

“Do you get to hold him?”

“Not yet, but Dad said I could soon.”

Brian’s grin covered his face and Andy’s eyes softened as he watched his sons look down at the beautiful little baby in Jacob’s arms. Troy and Liz leaned a little closer together, sharing a smile and their own fond memories of their first baby together who was the tallest of the kids now smiling down at the newest edition to their unconventional family. Aaron, for his part, looked around with half lidded eyes as his arms moved in an involuntary fashion. Jacob noted he seemed a little more animated than usual and attributed it to all the people in the room. “Jacob,” his father said to get his attention, “why don’t you go ahead and put him down and then we can all start dinner.”

“Sure.” He gave into the impulse to lean in and gently kiss Aaron’s forehead before standing back up and gently carrying him back to their room. “See, I told you they would all love you,” he whispered to Aaron. “You’re the most beautiful boy in the world right now.” He patted his back gently as he moved around, gently swaying as he held his most precious gift close to him. “But no one - and I mean no one - is ever going to love you the way your dads do. You’re our son and nothing will ever be more important than you. I think your other dad needs some more time alone with you once in awhile. Maybe later on tonight he can get up and feed you.” He slowly moved about the room until he saw Aaron’s eyes were closed and his breathing was how it always sounds when he’s asleep. As careful as he could, he gently laid the sleeping infant down on his back, making sure he was comfortable. “I love you so much, Aaron.” He allowed himself one more moment to look at him before forcing himself away and going back to join the others for their Christmas Eve dinner.

Jacob entered the dining room and took his seat next to Kyle’s at one end of the table while David would sit at the other end. When Kyle and David started bringing in the food, he started to get up but David’s slightly stern voice halted him. “Oh, no you don’t. You’ve done enough for one day, son. You sit there and don’t move until you’re done eating.” Jacob settled back into his seat, feeling sufficiently chastised to do as he was told as everyone around the table looked at him and snickered.

His forgotten glass of tea had been refilled and brought to the table while he had put Aaron down for his nap. Kyle took Jacob’s plate from him and went around the table, putting everything on it he knew Jacob wanted. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to do that.”

Kyle glanced over at him before going back to his task. “You heard what Dad said. You’ve done enough. Now, let me take care of you for once.”

Jacob blushed a little and remained silent as a small smile played across his lips. He felt a little awkward just sitting there watching Kyle dutifully fill his plate as everyone else went about filling their own plates while talking to each other. When Kyle finally set his plate in front of him he gently pulled Kyle’s face close enough to give him a tender kiss before letting him get his own plate filled. As they looked at each other, they didn’t need words to communicate how they felt for each other in that moment.

Someone had taken the initiative to play some Christmas music as everyone sat and ate. Chewing his food, Jacob glanced around the table. On the other side, Liz and Troy had Emily secured in a high chair, taking turns attempting to get some smaller bites of food in her mouth. In a year, that’ll be me and Kyle, he thought to himself. David was talking quietly with Brian seated next to him, discussing Tanner and Blake. “He’s getting a lot better at paying attention in class now that he moved up a grade. I think it has something to do with the fact that he and Chase are in the same class,” Brian remarked.

“Well, that may be,” David said. “But, I happen to know for a fact that he didn’t get there without your help. You sure you’re content just tutoring Tanner and Blake?”

Brian shrugged. “Teaching a kid feels a lot easier than it ever did a twenty year old college undergrad.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” David smirked. “Maybe you should apply for a job at the schools here in town.”

Brian chucked. “We’ll see.”

“Did you read that email I sent you,” Stephanie asked Kyle who was sitting across from Jacob.

Kyle nodded as he replied between bites. “About that class action lawsuit? Yeah. It’s a shame it got dismissed on technical grounds.”

“Stupid mistake by their lawyers from what I saw,” she replied. “They subpoenaed all those documents and I bet they were missing something but didn’t know enough to say anything. Of course, it’s not like the defense was going to point out their mistake. Was like three years of work down the drain in one hearing.”

Kyle took another bite before asking her, “you think they got grounds to appeal?” Jacob noted Kyle’s eyes as they were discussing it. He could tell Kyle was more than a little interested even if he sounded like he was just having a casual conversation.

“Probably, though I’m betting their lawyer isn’t gonna stick his neck out again and look like an idiot twice.” Stephanie took a drink from her water and added with a hint of a smirk, “would be an interesting case to take on. If there were any good lawyers looking for a good fight...”

Kyle chuckled and shook his head. “Maybe.”

Jacob and Kyle hadn’t talked about exactly when and how he was going to end up getting back inside a courtroom but Jacob knew eventually it was going to happen. With not having anything to do in the last couple months other than play with the baby and spend time with Matt and Dad, he could tell his husband was starting to get a little antsy for something to do. Maybe later he could nudge Kyle a little to dip his foot back into the water.

“So, what’ve you learned about having a baby so far,” Andy asked him with a smile.

Jacob grinned. “That I had no idea how complicated it can get. Before long, I’m gonna need to get the whole house baby-proofed and buy those gates to keep him contained. Diaper changes are pretty easy though.”

Andy laughed quietly. “For now... Wait until he starts on formula and real food. That’s when the real diaper changes start.”

Jacob looked at him dubiously. “What do you mean?”

Andy grinned. “That’s what I thought. David changed all the diapers for the boys when they were here, didn’t he? I’ll ask again in about nine months and see what you think about changing Aaron’s diapers then.”

“We have his first vaccinations coming up at the end of the year.”

“You may wanna have Kyle take him for those,” Andy said with a smirk.

“Why?”

His friend replied, “because it’s gonna be a big needle going into his little body. He’s gonna cry and you’re either gonna cry with him or be tempted to punch the doctor.”

Jacob giggled. “Which one did you do?”

“With Tanner, I wanted to belt the nurse the second he started wailing. When it was Blake’s turn, I already knew what was gonna happen but I wasn’t prepared for how loud he screamed. When your kid cries like that, you feel it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’m just enjoying it all while I can.” He took a bite of his ham and smiled as he chewed.

Andy smiled. “Do that. Don’t rush things. You only ever get to do this once with him.”

“Thanks.” He resumed eating in relative silence, listening to the conversations going on around him. Thinking on what Andy said, he was a little surprised to find he was never really that scared of what might happen. But, he had Kyle and Dad around nearly all the time and they usually knew what he didn’t.

As the conversations went on around the table, there was more laughter in the air as stories were retold and memories of holidays from years ago were shared. For Stephanie, most of the stories were new and she laughed along with all of them as one of the men would tell a story that usually ended up with more laughter and a few blushing faces.

As the adults started finishing up their meals, David saw from his seat Chase and Tanner shyly stepping into the dining room. Doing his best to hide a smile, he raised his voice to quiet the others in the room. “What do you need, boys?”

Chase looked from David to his father and back. Knowing interrupting the adults during dinner was frowned upon, he shuffled his feet and said in his young voice, braver than he felt, “Grandpa, we wanted to let you know we’re all finished eating.”

David glanced over at Troy who was looking down at his plate to control his sudden fit of giggles and then to Andy who wasn’t bothering to hide his. “So?”

“Hold on,” Andy cut in. “Tanner, you telling me Blake’s plate is completely empty?”

Tanner blanched slightly and the adults in the room had to fight hard to not laugh. “Uh, yeah. Mostly.”

Andy chuckled and shrugged and turned back to David whose smile was starting to show more. “So, what do you want?”

“We were wondering…” Chase began with his own little smirk.

“Can we start opening presents now,” Tanner finished.

David looked around the table and then sighed dramatically. “Well…. I guess…”

The two boy’s faces lit up as they ran out of the room yelling, “Grandpa said yes!!”

David laughed as he and the others rose to their feet. “Who’s cleaning all this up?”

Stephanie replied, “Kyle and I can handle it.”

David nodded and led Troy, Andy and Jacob down the hall to the study where all the presents were being stored. He opened the door and let Troy and the others get the presents and start moving them to the living room where the children waited with barely contained excitement. Once the four of them collected everything, they made their way to the front room where Liz and Brian had removed the spare table where some of the boys had eaten, giving everyone ample space to sit on the floor or on the sofas to open their presents.

Jacob went around the room, reading the labels on the packages and setting them in front of their recipients. Any presents he had for him or Kyle in his arms he set off to the side before he was finished and then moved to sit on the floor near Matt while Troy, Andy and David went through the same process. Kyle soon joined him, sitting with his legs crossed next to Jacob and leaning in to give him a soft kiss on his cheek. “Looks like a nice haul,” he remarked.

Jacob grinned. “Seems like it. I guess we were good boys this year.”

It wasn’t until David passed out the last gift before he sat in his recliner and said to everyone in the room, “Alright. You can start opening your presents.”

Five young boys instantly started ripping and tearing at wrapping paper parents had spent hours wrapping only to watch their work destroyed within seconds. The parents sat there, laughing as they watched the individual reactions of excitement and surprise as the boys revealed toys, games and other gifts. Troy and Liz were helping Emily open her presents as she watched the boys nearby. David started opening his which were mostly smaller boxes. Jacob hoped he liked the figurines of the two little boys he had ordered from a sculptor who did custom work on demand.

“Come on, slow poke, get to opening your presents,” Kyle nudged him as he started opening his.

“Okay, okay…” He grabbed the first one he saw with a tag on it that told him it was from Troy and Liz. As he tore the wrapping, the box revealed a wearable baby carrier. He chuckled and looked over at them as Troy grinned back at him. He’d been thinking about getting one himself but knew Aaron was too small for one now. Now, when the time came, he’d be ready. He opened the next present and laughed out loud, nudging Kyle to show him his new camo style diaper bag backpack. “This is hilarious. I can’t wait to get to use this thing.”

Andy raised his voice over the buzz of the children. “I figured I’d get you guys one in camo so you’d always remember who got it for you.”

“That’s great. Thanks a lot.” His smile never wavered as he set it behind him and Kyle. He had two more gifts left just for him which were a lot smaller than the others. One from Dad and one from Kyle. He reached for the smaller of the two and carefully unwrapped it. Under the wrapping was a box made out of well polished cedar wood with a dark finish. He looked at it oddly, wondering what it was for. He lifted the lid and his curiosity was only fueled more when he discovered a single pen resting in a red felt base. The pen itself looked expensive but he didn’t understand the significance. “Dad?” He held up the pen with a questioning gaze.

David looked over at him and smiled softly at him. “It goes with your other present, son.”

“What, this one?” He reached for the final gift that was just for him. Setting the pen aside in it’s box, he began to unwrap what Kyle had gotten him. When what was under the wrapping paper was revealed to him, he stared at it for a moment, words having failed him for the moment. It was a book filled with blank pages as he flipped through them. But the cover was what made his breath catch in his throat. In gold embossed lettering over a black finished cover it read, “Aaron Scott Howard’s first five years.”

He felt Kyle’s hand on his shoulder. “Dad and I felt you might want to make notes on Aaron’s progress and maybe leave him some messages for when he gets older.” He picked up the box with the pen and set it on top of the book in Jacob’s hands. “To do that, you’ll need something to write with.”

Jacob hadn’t noticed how quiet the room had gotten or that nearly everyone was looking at him as he looked over at Kyle with that look in his eyes that was only for him. “It’s perfect. I love you so much.” He leaned in and gave Kyle a long, lingering kiss.

Because of the silence in the room, it was easy to hear through the baby monitor next to David’s recliner the sound of a baby’s quiet cries that threatened to get louder. Jacob started to get up but Stephanie stopped him, “I got this one. I’ll bring him right in if he’s not just fussing because he’s hungry again.”

Jacob settled back down as she left the room. When Troy, Liz, David and Andy all started chortling among themselves, Jacob look at the and asked, “what’s so funny?”

Liz was the first to respond. “It’s a well known fact that if you kiss your spouse, no matter what room you’re in or how quiet you are, your baby will always wake up.” The others chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“He’s only two months old,” Andy added. “According to him, the world is all about him for now. You’re not allowed to have fun if he has a chance to ruin it.” Jacob smirked at the notion before carefully setting the book over to the side for now. Kyle had started opening the box with the diaper bag, curious about what all they could fit in it.

David had Matt and the other kids start clearing out all the discarded wrapping paper and taking it out to the big garbage can instead of leaving it in the house. Once that was done, he went back into the kitchen to start cutting up apple pies and getting coffee brewed while the boys went upstairs to play with their toys and the adults got comfortable talking together.

Stephanie returned some time later with Aaron in her arms. “Well, amazingly enough, he ate, I changed him and he’s still awake.” She moved through the living room, moving to sit near Andy and Brian so they could get a close up look at Aaron since they hadn’t seen him since shortly after he was born.

Kyle tapped Jacob on his shoulder as he stood up, indicating that he should follow him. He dutifully followed Kyle into the kitchen. David glanced in their direction as they came in. “What’s up, you two?”

“Just wanted a second alone with Jacob,” Kyle replied.

David looked at his son and rolled his eyes. “Make sure you bring the coffee into the living room when it’s done.” With that said, he left the kitchen and headed back to the living room.

“So,” Jacob asked him.

Kyle watched his husband’s face as he carefully asked, “how would you react if I started doing some work on some civil cases?”

Jacob put his hands on his hips and only just barely stopped himself from glaring at Kyle. “Do you honestly think I’d be nothing but supportive?”

Kyle smirked. “No. I just wanted to hear it. Even if I started before Aaron was a year old?”

“Kyle,” he sighed before relaxing his stance and putting his arms around his lover. “I want you to be happy. I happen to know better than most here what kind of a lawyer you are. If you want to go back to work, that’s fine with me. We’ll manage together somehow. I know we will.”

“Okay. I figured you’d say something like that. I just wanted to hear it before I made a decision.” He wrapped his arms around Jacob and kissed him lovingly.

Jacob let the kiss last for a moment before he pulled back a little and smiled. “So, what exactly did you have in mind?”

“Well,” Kyle said with a playful glint in his eyes, “there’s been a few things that have come my way and I thought, maybe if I really wanted, I could possibly represent some people in some areas where they need a good lawyer. Also, another paycheck coming into the house wouldn’t be a bad thing right now.”

“Sounds like that’s right up your alley. You know your family is always gonna have your back no matter what.” He leaned his forehead against Kyle’s and let them share a quiet moment alone together.

In the space of three breaths they heard the loud cries of a baby fill the house. Kyle broke into a fit of giggles as Jacob smirked and shook his head. “We weren’t even kissing this time,” he whined as he turned to exit the kitchen. As he walked down the hallway, he heard a few chuckles and then Brian’s defensive words, “I didn’t break the baby. I was just holding him!”

“Well, you must’ve done something because he’s not even calming down for me,” he could hear Steph reply which caused him to move a little faster. Aaron’s cry sounded different this time too. A tone he’d never heard before. His son was clearly unhappy and wanting something but he couldn’t decipher what yet.

Jacob walked into the room, looking around. “What happened?”

“I was just holding him and he started crying,” Brian said, looking a little worried.

“Amature,” Andy said jokingly to Brian. “Let me see him.” Stephanie allowed Andy to take Aaron as his well practiced hands effortlessly lifted the infant as he stood up. “What’s the matter, little baby Aaron?” Andy looked down at the blue eyes but the baby seemed inconsolable.

Jacob smiled a little and stepped up to him. “Do you mind?”

Andy gave him a playful look. “He seems fine to me,” he said as he held out the wailing child for Jacob.

Jacob took the baby in his hands, one holding his head and the other his bottom and gazed down at the distressed infant. “Hey, hey hey…” Jacob said in the gentle voice he always talks to Aaron with that none of the others had ever heard him use before. “What’s all this noise about, huh?” He leaned his head a little closer to Aaron and smiled down at him. “It’s okay. I got ya.” Aaron’s cries quieted quicker than he expected. As if someone had pressed a button and suddenly the baby was at peace again. “See, Bri? It’s not that hard.” He held Aaron close to him, watching his arms start to move in that seemingly random pattern as those blue eyes looked up at him.

Andy got a curious look as he stepped a little closer and looked down at Aaron and then at Jacob’s face. “Hey, Troy? Come here…”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Jacob looked at his friend with a little concern.

“Calm down,” Andy assured him. When Troy came up to him Andy motioned to the baby. “Take a look at that.” His lips lifting in a bright smile like he’d just witnessed something the others could only guess at.

Troy studied Aaron for a moment and his own smile began to rival Andy’s. “Hey, Jacob,” he asked after a moment, still mesmerized by the baby in his friend’s arms, ”when was the last time you held Aaron?”

Jacob didn’t understand what was wrong but he stayed calm. “Right before dinner. You saw me holding him.”

“Yeah, but Steph said he just ate and is usually tired afterwards, right?” He glanced up at Stephanie for confirmation.

Stephanie nodded as she stepped closer to them. “Yeah, he was kind of dozing as I brought him down.”

David got up and stepped over to the growing crowd around Jacob. “What’s going on?”

“Look at the baby and what he’s doing,” Troy said in a quiet voice so as to not disturb the scene.

“He’s not doing anything, Troy,” Jacob said as he watched Aaron looking up at him and moving his arms around slowly.

“Oh.” David said after a second. Then he broke into a happy smile. “I see.”

“What are you guys talking about,” Jacob asked.

The three men looked at each other and grinned with some sort of pride before looking back at Jacob. “He knows,” David said simply.

“Knows? Knows what?”

Kyle walked into the room bringing in a tray with the coffee and cups for serving when he saw Dad and his friends gathered around Jacob and Aaron. “Is everything okay?”

David smiled at his son and said, “Jacob just got his last Christmas present.”

Jacob was confused. “What? What present? What did you mean he kno--” Jacob stopped speaking and looking into Aaron’s blue eyes, finally noticing the change. Aaron was looking back up at him. He could see Jacob’s face. It was a new look on his child’s face. A look of recognition.

Troy put a hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “You’ve been busy all day, Dad tells me? Out of the house? Took a nap? Aaron was nearly asleep when Stephanie brought him down. He hadn’t seen you probably since the last time you fed him yourself early this morning. Jacob... He knows who you are. He was crying because he hadn’t seen you all day and he missed you.”

Jacob felt a large lump form in his throat. As if to confirm Troy’s conclusion, Aaron’s left arm slowly lifted up with outstretched fingers towards his face. Jacob leaned in closer and felt the tiny fingers touch his nose. It would be a moment Jacob would never forget the rest of his life. “Hey there, little guy…”

Kyle passed the tray to his father before stepping up to Jacob, smiling as he watched. “Looks like he missed his daddy, huh?”

“Yeah. I guess so,” he replied without looking away from those eyes looking up at him.

Kyle grinned and wiped the tears off of Jacob’s face that he didn’t even know were there. “Come here. Sit down before you fall down. Dad, the pies are ready.” Kyle guided Jacob to sit down on one of the sofas before he went to help his father in the kitchen.

Jacob spent the next half hour with his focus on Aaron as if the two of them were in some kind of silent communication. None of his friends minded since nearly all of them understood how precious a moment Jacob got to experience that night. Troy and the others were pleasantly surprised by this new side of their friend they’d never seen before. The outpouring of love, the tenderness in his eyes and his voice gave them a new insight and appreciation for him. Only Kyle had ever heard Jacob like this and even he had found himself loving Jacob even more now than he ever did.

After the pies were eaten and everyone was comfortable, David picked up his phone and declared, “time for family pictures. Troy, let’s start with you.” Everyone chuckled a little, this being one of David’s favorite parts of the holidays over the years. Every year, he takes a new picture of each family. When the boys used to protest, he insisted it was important. “You get to see how your families change and grow over time. Gives you a sense of where you’ve been and where you’re going in life.” After a few times doing it and seeing the results, there were no more protests.

Troy and Liz got their three children together as everyone stood and made room for them to sit on the sofa with Chase, Carter and little Emily being held on Troy’s lap. Once that was done it was Andy and Brian’s turn with Tanner and Blake. They were all smiles as David directed them on where and how to sit as he does every year. Each of them knowing the new pictures would end up on display on the walls while the older ones would be stored away. David never threw away a picture no matter how old they got.

When those two pictures were done, Troy gently took the phone from David’s hands and said, “time for your turn now.” David grinned and moved to get ready to join Jacob and Kyle on the sofa.

Before they got seated, Jacob had a sudden thought. “Wait. Dad, let me do this one. You and Stephanie on the far sides of the couch. Kyle, sit next to your dad.” Jacob sat next to Steph, still holding Aaron in his arms. “Matt, come sit between me and daddy.” When Matt was sitting between them Jacob said, “now, hold out your arms out like I’m doing and don’t move.” Matt’s mouth opened and his eyes lit up in surprise. He quickly obeyed and waited for Jacob to gently lay Aaron in his arms, making sure Aaron was comfortable and Matt was able to hold him. Once that was done, Jacob settled back and looked up to Troy who was holding David’s phone in his hands, waiting to take the picture. Matt’s smile of joy and pride already on his face as he held his baby brother.

“Alright then,” Troy grinned. “Big smiles for Aaron’s first Christmas pic.” Everyone on the sofa gave their best smiles as Troy took the picture.

Once done, Jacob passed the baby from Matt to Stephanie as they rose. He picked Matt up and hugged him. “I love you, baby boy.” He gave Matt a soft kiss on his cheek, knowing how important this moment was for him.

“One more, picture,” David insisted as he took his phone from Troy. Without needing to be told, the five friends all stood and moved together. With arms around each others shoulders and happy smiles, Andy, Brian, Jacob, Kyle and Troy stood together waiting for David’s signal. David held the camera steady. In his eyes, they were still the same boys from that graduation picture so long ago. Maybe a little older but their eyes still sparkled with the love and affection they felt for each other. David gave a silent prayer of thanks for them before hitting the button and capturing the moment forever.

Hours later, after everyone had gone home and Kyle was putting Aaron down in his crib, Jacob was sitting at the small desk in the sitting room. Using his new pen given to him by his father, he opened the book gifted to him by his husband and made his first entry.

My son,

Today is December 24th. You are two months and twelve days old. I got a lot of gifts from my friends and family but the best gift I got was from you. Today was the first day you looked up at me as I held you in my arms and let me know you knew I was your dad. Your other dad and your older brother have both shown me so much love over the years but that moment you and I shared will always be the most precious gift you could ever give me. Thank you for being my son. I can’t promise that I’m going to be the perfect dad I wish I could be for you, but I’m going to do my best every day for you. And I’m writing this as a message for you and a reminder to myself that no matter what the future holds I will always be your father and I will always love you.

“Jacob, it’s getting late,” Kyle said quietly from the bedroom.

“Coming...” He closed the book, put the pen back in its box and placed them in a drawer before closing it and getting ready for bed. When he did finally climb into bed, the room was dark except for the soft night light near Aaron’s crib in the corner. Jacob pulled the blankets up over the two of them before pulling Kyle into his arms. “I love you, Kyle. Thank you for being my husband and having a baby with me.”

Kyle smiled and kissed him lovingly. “I love you too. Thank you for being such a good father to our baby.” His tone became a little stricter as he added, “now, what are you going to do if you wake up before I do when Aaron cries tonight?”

“I will wake you up so you can feed him.” He laid down on his side, still keeping Kyle close to him as he closed his eyes.

“Ok, baby. Good night.”

“Kyle?”

“Yes?”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”