The Golden City - 33. The Next Step

Chapter 33: The Next Step

As I sat across the couch from my Uncle, I couldn’t help but study him closely. I know everyone says he looks like me, but I’ll always see my Mom. And just like with her, I hate seeing him worried.

But this time I can’t help it. This time I need some answers. I’m sorry for what Ezra did to you, but he’s still my birth father. I still need to meet him, because this, it might be my only chance to.

Me and Adam spent a little more time hanging out on the couch, trying our hardest to keep things normal but I could tell there was a layer of worry slowly starting to build between us. It may not be as bad as the Texas trip, but there’s no denying how much this business card has us both on edge.

“Alright,” Adam finally groaned as he stood up and stretched. “we should both be headed to bed. I’ve gotta watch you and Dizzy do homework tomorrow.”

“About that,” I began with a forced smile. “Dizzy was hoping his Mom could watch us at his house tomorrow.”

“Why?” Adam asked, now shooting me a worried look for different reasons. “Her turn isn’t until Wednesday and even then, we planned on her watching you guys here.”

“Is it fair she has to come all the way here?” I answered with a question of my own.

“Artie,” Adam sighed as our eyes connected. “haven’t you two been in enough trouble lately?”

“We’re not looking for trouble!” I quickly tried to clarify. “Just a change of pace.” Adam narrowed his gaze and began to stare me down, not believing a word I was saying. “I’ve only been to his house once, and I barely even know his Mom.”

“You barely know her?” Adam repeated, still not believing me.

“Today was like, the most she’s ever said to me!” I exaggerated, hoping it would finally convince him. “Besides, tonight seemed like it hit you pretty hard.” I swayed my head as I began to turn the table on him. “Maybe you could use a quiet night with Mason.”

“He works Tuesdays.” Adam taunted, seeing what I’d say next.

“He’s a bartender.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Go get yourself a drink and relax.”

“You do realize this whole arrangement is about making sure we can trust you and Dizzy, right?” Adam asked, but I could tell I had already convinced him. “So you two already trying to twist it, might not be your best idea.”

“We’re not trying to twist anything.” I swore, trying my hardest to manage an innocent look. “Like I said, we just want a small change of pace for a night.”

“Fine, if Colleen is okay with it, so am I.” He surrendered as a genuine smile crept across my face. “but you can’t force this on her.”

“We won’t.” I promised, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Good.” Adam nodded his head as he approached the stairs. “Because you need to start getting on her good side.” I saw him shake off a smirk as the words left his lips. “Good night.”

“I know you’re teasing me.” I let out but began to chase him up the stairs anyway.

“Okay.” Adam shrugged, not even bothering to look back as he reached the top.

“It’s not funny.” I continued to pressure. “I know she likes me.”

“Then why are you following me?” Adam teased as we reached his bedroom door.

“I’m going to my own room.” I lied, walking past him and opening my door. “She likes me.” I insisted in a whine.

“Sure.” He nodded before slipping into his room and locking the door behind me.

“Adam!” I shouted, wishing he would just give up on the joke already. “Adam this isn’t funny!” I continued as I took a step out of my room and back into the hall. “I don’t mess with you and Mason!”

“Can’t hear you!” I heard him yell from the other side of the door. “Good night!”

“I’m telling Mason you’re a bully!” I let out, trying to at least get some kind of reaction out of him.

“I love you too!” I heard him call out from his bedroom as I finally walked back into my room and shut the door.

He can mess with me all he wants, but Colleen likes me. Sure, Dizzy still gets into trouble, but since we started dating, it’s not nearly as bad as before! Everyone says it! I bet even Dizzy’s going to think this joke was stupid!

Yet as I tried to fall asleep, I couldn’t help but over analyze it. Don’t get me wrong, Adam’s joke wasn’t keeping me up, it’s just when I get a thought in my head, well sometimes I can’t help but worry! When I finally did fall asleep, I woke up nearly having completely forgotten about it, that is, until I saw Dizzy!

“Good morning.” He smirked before leaning forward and planting a kiss on my lips. As our kiss broke, he watched me closely. “Worried about Ezra?” He sighed as his smirk faded and concern began to enter his gaze.

“Maybe a little.” I swayed my head as Dizzy began to lead me down the steps. “Does your Mom like me?” I suddenly asked, drawing a slight giggle from Dizzy. “Why are you laughing?” I groaned, frustrated by his response.

“Are these the kind of things you worry about when I’m not around?” He teased, as I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on!” He laughed once more. “I’m just busting you.” I felt his hand reach over and wrap around mine. “Of course, she likes you. I mean, maybe you’re a little too country for her, but it’s not like she hates you.”

“Too country for her?” I repeated in a panicked voice as I tried to pull my hand from his.

“I’m just saying you’re different people!” He quickly tried to comfort as he tightened his grip on my hand. “Isn’t that why you’re asking?”

“No.” I grunted as my eyes fell from his. “Adam said I needed to get on her good side.”

“Why would he say that?” Dizzy asked, as he began to search his mind for any answers he could find.

“He was just messing with me.” I complained with a sigh. “But then it got me thinking, and I don’t know. It’s not like I really talk to her.”

“You’re letting Adam’s joke get to you this bad?” He teased, this time trying his hardest to hold back his laughter.

“It’s not getting to me!” I exclaimed, louder than I had intended. A few students glanced over to us as we finally began to approach the school.

“Alright, alright.” Dizzy tried to comfort, finally able to control his laughter. “You are a little, shy with my mom.” He swayed his head. “But only because she intimidates you.” He said in an almost joking way, but as our eyes met, I could tell he was being serious.

“She doesn’t intimidate me.” I lied, as I lowered my eyes once more. “I like your Mom.” I insisted as we entered the school.

“Okay.” He accepted, just hoping to satisfy me. “I’ll tell you what,” He suddenly began. “today when you come over for homework, you can prove it.”

“Deal.” I forced a smile and looked back up to him.

“I can even leave you two alone for some real quality bonding time.” He teased as his usual smirk returned to his face.

“You and Adam really have to work on your jokes.” I rolled my eyes as we reached our homeroom.

“Bonding time with my Mom is a joke to you?” Dizzy asked, trying his hardest to seem serious. I rolled my eyes and looked over to Charlotte who was quietly sitting at her desk.

“Want to eat lunch alone again today?” I teased as I felt Dizzy give me a playful nudge with his elbow as he sat.

“Trouble in paradise?” Charlotte asked, looking past me and over to Dizzy.

“He thinks my Mom doesn’t like him.” Dizzy shrugged his shoulders, causing me to quickly look over and stare him down. “What?” Dizzy asked in disbelief. “The one thing you don’t want to tell her!”

“You and her do seem like different people.” Charlotte spoke up, drawing my attention away from Dizzy. “But she’s a nice lady, I don’t know why she wouldn’t like you.”

“See.” Dizzy supported as he reached over and lightly grabbed my arm. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Just don’t let her see you’re nervous.” Charlotte shook her head. “That woman can smell fear.”

“Gee,” I groaned as worry once again began to build up. “Thanks Char.” She let out a light laugh as I began to shake my head.

“Why are you grumpy today?” She asked, leaning over and wrapping her arms around me.

“I’m not grumpy,” I insisted, but didn’t push her away. “you guys are all just messing with me.”

“You make it easy.” Dizzy explained as he rested back in his seat.

“Mhm.” Charlotte hummed as she let me go. “Your reaction is kind of funny too.”

“He knows we’re joking, but convinces himself it’s real.” Dizzy giggled as I shot him another annoyed look. “It’s one of my favorite things about you.” He tried to comfort with a smile.

“Better be.” I grumbled. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me, but had to settle for a wink as Mrs. Mowry took her seat at the front of the room.

“What’s going on?” Ky asked as he entered the room and took his seat.

“We’re bullying Artie.” Charlotte shrugged drawing another slight laugh from Dizzy.

“Oh.” Ky accepted as he looked over to me. “That’s how you know you’re no longer the new kid.” Ky said, drawing a nod from Dizzy, who was just happy to have an out.

“You’re one of us now.” Charlotte encouraged as she nudged my foot with hers. “That means you have to get teased just as much as the rest of us.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I accepted, but before I could say anything else Mrs. Mowry started homeroom.

As much as their teasing this morning frustrated me, I’d be lying if I said part of me didn’t enjoy it. Ky is right. This is just what friends do. They’ve stopped seeing me as the kid from Texas, now I’m just as much in their group as any of them. I just hope Colleen sees it that way too!

The school day went just like all the ones before it. Me and Dizzy tried our hardest to behave, but every now and again Dizzy would break through and make me laugh. At least today it was only three or four times! That’s progress, right?

Before I knew it, I found myself holding Dizzy’s hand as we stood outside his house. I usually try and enjoy my off days from baseball, but right now I wish I could just be at practice!

“Relax.” Dizzy comforted with a friendly smile. “We were all just teasing you this morning, my Mom likes you.”

“Okay.” I forced a nod. As I let out a deep breath, Dizzy couldn’t help but laugh. “Stop.” I whined as he led me to the front door and began to fumble around with his keys.

“Stop.” He mocked through his laughter. “It’s alright.” He began again, this time actually growing serious. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”

I nodded but as he pushed the door open, I felt even more nervous than before. This is even worse than when I first met her! What did Adam do to me?!

“Ma.” Dizzy called out as he pulled me inside. “Artie thinks you don’t like him!”

“Dizzy!” I quietly forced out through gritted teeth as I began to stare him down.

“Why?” She yelled from the staircase.

“Because he’s taking your favorite son from you.” Dizzy shouted back as he led me through the tight hallway and into the kitchen.

“He can have you!” Colleen exclaimed as she finally began to descend the stairs. “Why do you think I don’t like you?” She asked as she finally reached the hallway.

“It’s just Dizzy playing around again.” I lied, giving him a good nudge with my elbow as we sat down.

“Adam said it to mess with him last night.” Dizzy shrugged his shoulders. “Then we all piled it on this morning to see how he’d react.” I let out a groan and looked away as Dizzy began to double down. “And now I think he actually believes it!”

“I do not,” I insisted as I looked back at him. “but that doesn’t mean you come home and blurt it out!”

“I was just clearing the air.” He replied with a proud smile. “Better to get it out of the way now, so we can focus on homework.”

“I don’t know what you’re playing at,” Colleen dismissed as her gaze landed on Dizzy. “ but you need to actually get serious and start your homework.” She warned him before looking over to me. “Don’t listen to Adam. He spouts as much nonsense as Dizzy when he wants.”

I stayed quiet and began to unzip my backpack as I realized there was more she wanted to say. “You helped convince Adam to give me a job, and take care of Dizzy when I can’t.” She supported as she laid a hand on my shoulder. “Of course I like you, even if you do get a little quiet around me.”

“It’s because he’s intimidated by you.” Dizzy quickly added in as the smirk returned to his face.

“You’re actually annoying today, you know that right?” I replied as I turned to him.

“He’s annoying every day.” Colleen complained as she finally took a seat across from us. “Now both of you get your homework done, or neither of you is eating dinner.”

“In that case we should probably leave some questions blank.” Dizzy whispered over to me, purposely talking loud enough for his Mother to hear.

“Keep talking.” Colleen nodded as she began to stare down her son. “I just came up with something for me and Artie to do while you’re busy goofing around.”

“You can’t make him cook for you.” Dizzy continued with a wide smile, but Colleen simply shrugged her shoulders and sat back. Dizzy made a face at her before finally looking down at the work in front of him.

As the room finally grew quiet, we were both able to get to work. However, just like Colleen expected, I was an assignment or two ahead of her son. Every now and again I’d hesitate, or try and help him so the gap wasn’t as wide, but by time I wrapped up my last assignment, Dizzy still had two left!

“You done?” Colleen asked from the stove as she glanced over to me.

“Just about.” I forced a smile as I began to pack all my books into my bag.

“Good because I need help.” Dizzy spoke in an attempt to slow me down.

“You need less distractions.” Colleen warned as she walked away from the stove and waited at the opening of the living room. “Come on.” She encouraged as ours eyes connected.

“I’m being serious,” Dizzy tried to argue as he realized his mother and I were actually going to have some one on one time. “I need Artie to explain this to me.”

Colleen looked over to him and began to study her son closely. “He can look it over when you’re done.” She concluded as he let out a groan. “He can be such a bullshitter.” She complained as she led me into the living room. An older love seat sat next to a reclining chair as they both faced a TV on a busted-up table. In the middle of the room sat two big storage bins filled to the top with what looked like paper.

“Wonder where I learned that from!” Dizzy replied, showing he could still hear us. He glanced into the room and made another face before redirecting his attention to his homework.

“See, you’re not that far from him.” Colleen teased as she began to watch me closely. She could tell I was growing a little uncomfortable, but kept pushing me anyway. “You get squirmy like your Uncle.” She judged as I took a seat on the small couch.

“Squirmy?” I repeated as she pulled the bins closer.

“You get all anxious or uncomfortable and can’t sit still.” She explained as she pulled the lid off of the closest bin. “You should see what happens during the morning rush.” She shook her head. “There’s no keeping up with your Uncle.” She exhaled, finally pulling the bin close enough for me to see.

As soon as I looked in, I realized it was full of pictures, not papers. “I used to be a photographer.” She explained, seeing the confusion on my face. “When I stopped all those years ago, I shoved all my pictures into bins and forgot about them.” She shook her head. “But I think it’s time to sort back through them, and see if there are any keepers.”

“You’re getting sentimental.” Dizzy teased in a childish tone. “You need more pictures of me?” He flashed her a grin, but quickly looked back at his work as her face grew serious.

“I was hoping you could help me.” She encouraged as she pulled out a few pictures. “Right now I just need three piles, one for pictures of nature, one for pictures of the city and finally any of the ones of Z.”

“I can do that.” I nodded my head as she handed me some pictures. As Dizzy heard my words, I noticed him glance over to see what we were doing.

“No comments.” Colleen shut down as she noticed his gaze. “You guys can go do your own thing after dinner, for now you’re going to do your homework while he helps.” Dizzy stayed quiet but forced eye contact with his mother as an unspoken conversation took place.

Colleen let out a small sigh, but suddenly dug into the bin in front of us. “You may even be able to find some ammo for the next time he annoys you.” She teased as she handed me one more picture.

As I looked down, I found a picture of Dizzy from when he was a toddler. Even then he proudly wore his normal smirk, except in this picture he was covered in paint. “Even then he was an artist.” Colleen teased as Dizzy watched us closely. “If you ask me, his painting was better then.”

“Ha. Ha.” He sarcastically groaned as he looked back at his work.

“Are there are more like this?” I couldn’t help but ask as I studied the picture closely.

“Plenty.” Colleen answered. She let out a laugh as she saw how quickly I placed down the photo and began to scan through the others. As we created a small system for the piles, Colleen and I began to quickly sort through the photos.

“Is this him and Ky?” I excitedly asked as I found a picture from elementary school. They both stood outside a school building with wide smiles. Dizzy had braces on to remedy some messy teeth as an early version of his current haircut sat on his head while Ky just looked like a younger version of his current self.

A genuine smile spread across Colleens face as she saw the picture. “That was back when he first got the haircut and flight jacket.” She reminisced as she studied it closely.

The second I placed it into the pile of family pictures, she quickly picked it back up. “I think I might frame this one and put it up.” She decided as she created a pile of its own.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I saw her actions. I have a feeling that this might take a lot longer than it needs to! “Get a look at this!” She started again as she flashed me another picture of Dizzy from his childhood. This time Dizzy was with Charlotte, and it must’ve been Halloween. Charlotte was wearing a bright pink dress as though she was a princess, while Dizzy was dressed as a superhero.

“I’ve gotta send this to the Charles!” She decided as she added it to the fourth pile.

“Mom.” Dizzy couldn’t help but laugh as he walked over and took a seat in the recliner. “I know I was a cute kid, but you can’t suddenly hang up a million old pictures!” He teased, but I could tell it meant a lot to him. “You’re going to seem like a crazy lady!”

“I don’t care.” She shot down as she kept her eyes on the pictures. “I’m hanging some up, and putting others in photobooks.”

“You could always scan it and put it on your laptop like a normal person.” He continued to tease, clearly enjoying all the attention he was receiving from her.

“Don’t you have homework to finish?” She asked as she finally looked over to him.

“Finished it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t you have to watch dinner?”

“It needs to cook for a little while.” She shook her head. “Are you going to help, or just add commentary?”

“I might just watch.” He smirked as he leaned back in the chair. “It’s not every day that my boyfriend and Mom talk about how cute I am.”

“How cute you were.” I corrected as I joined in on the conversation. “You kind of lost it when you straightened your teeth.”

Colleen nodded her head along with my words. “You’re lucky you’ve got a good personality.”

“Even then he can be annoying!” I yelped as the smile began to fade from Dizzy’s face.

“I liked it better when you were scared of my Mom.” Dizzy complained as he realized how friendly we were acting. Sure, I may not be talking to her as much as I do with Adam, Lindsay or Mason but I’m starting to feel just as comfortable.

“She’s a lot like you.” I let out, even surprising myself.

“Careful.” She playfully teased. “I was just starting to like you.”

“You guys both have the same,” I hesitated, looking for the right word. “spirit.” I decided, unsure how else to phrase it.

“I’ll take it.” Dizzy shrugged his shoulders, but I could tell he knew what I was trying to say. “Wait!” He suddenly exclaimed. “Does that mean you drive Adam crazy like I do with Artie?”

“I hope not.” She lightly laughed. “We don’t fool around like you two, we get our work done and go home.”

“What’s Adam like at work?” I couldn’t help but ask. “I’ve asked Lindsay, but she always talks around the answer.”

“He’s a very good boss.” She replied, giving me the safe answer.

“Come on,” Dizzy whined in protest. “he’s not going to tell on you.” Dizzy pressured, being just as curious as me.

“There’s really not much to say.” She shrugged her shoulders. “He’s like a machine, he’s already there by the time I come in and he’s just going.” She began, racking her brain for ways to describe it. “He gets there first thing in the morning and helps make the donuts then sticks around and makes sure we sell out or donate them.”

“Are we talking about the same Adam here?” Dizzy asked in a laugh. As much as I respect Adam, I’m kind of with Dizzy here. I just can’t imagine him running nonstop! From the way he acts at home, well, he just seems kind of lazy!

“Last night I watched him drink a beer he left out all day because he didn’t want to get up.” I supported, drawing a laugh from Colleen.

“I don’t know what he’s like to live with, but he’s a very good boss.” She doubled down as she looked over at me. “And he works his ass off every time he comes in, I heard he used to work every day too!”

“He just started taking time off when I moved in.” I supported, reminding myself that even that was a hard decision for him!

“No better reason to take off.” She agreed as she started sorting through photos once again. “He’s so happy to have you.” She suddenly let out as she quickly looked back up to me. “He talks about you more than anything else.”

All I could do was smile and nod as words escaped me. Maybe one day soon I should start helping out with the shop. It’d be good to see what Adam is like at work, and maybe even make some money if he’ll let me!

We helped Colleen sort through the pictures for a little bit longer until finally dinner was ready. I wouldn’t say she’s the greatest cook ever, but after weeks of eating mainly frozen food from Adam, any homecooked meal tastes perfect!

“So,” Dizzy began to hum as he collected our plates.

“What do you want?” She sighed and went to stand up, but Dizzy motioned for her to sit as I grabbed the utensils.

“I was thinking after Artie and I finish cleaning up, we can go hang out.” He shrugged, but kept a serious face as to not draw too much suspicion.

“Alright.” She accepted, not understanding what the issue was.

“In my room.” He clarified, but she stayed quiet and waited for the real question. “And since you took away my power cables the other day,” He finally started. “I was hoping I could get it back so we could watch a movie.”

She let out a deep breath as he finally got to the point. “Since Artie is here, I’ll give you the one for your computer.” She nodded her head. “But I’m taking it back when he leaves!”

“Thank you Mom.” Dizzy smiled, walking over and giving her a big hug.

“Yeah, yeah.” She muttered as she got up and went to retrieve the cord. Dizzy flashed me a quick wink before helping me finish up the dishes. “No funny business up there.” She warned as she handed Dizzy a black wire. “The walls are thin.” She reminded us before allowing us to go on our way.

“Now do you believe she likes you?” Dizzy teased as he led me up the stairs. “I’ve only been saying it all day.”

“You’re so annoying today!” I complained through a laugh as we made it to his bedroom. It was a bit cleaner than the last time I was here. However, old pictures and empty spray paint cans still filled his counters.

“Still smells like cats and body spray.” I teased as I took a seat on his bed. He locked his bedroom door before crawling under his desk and starting to plug his computer in. “You didn’t have to lock the door.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Nothings going to happen.”

“Mhm.” He hummed as he began to fumble the wire around. “This is such a pain in the ass.” He complained in a sigh. “She knows she can’t hide my stuff, so she just takes the damn power wires so it doesn’t work!”

“I don’t know, that sounds pretty clever.” I laughed as he only began to struggle more. He let out another frustrated groan until finally his computer started to kick to life.

“Got it!” He exclaimed as he crawled back out from under his desk. “Come here.” He called out in a high-pitched voice as he stayed seated on the floor. “Come here.” He repeated using the same tone.

I shot him a strange look as he began to rub his fingers together until finally a cat came running out from under his bed. He laughed to himself as he noticed me jump back from surprise. “You think I was talking to you?” He asked, lightly petting the cat as it began to purr.

“I thought you were losing your mind.” I shook my head as he stood up and joined me on the bed. Before we knew it, the cat followed and took a seat between me and Dizzy.

“She doesn’t like you.” Dizzy teased as he stood up once more and began setting up the computer.

“You say that about everyone.” I shook my head, but made sure to keep my distance from the cat.

“Well I mean it this time.” He laughed as he pulled up Netflix on the center screen. “Don’t pet her, or she’ll scratch you.”

“That’s not funny.” I exhaled as I moved further back on his bed and away from the cat.

“I’m not trying to be funny.” He insisted as he chose a movie and headed back towards the door. “Catniss.” He called out, as the cat slowly got back up and started to head out of the room. “She’s a good girl though.” He encouraged as he pulled the door open for the cat. “You don’t have to lock it.” Dizzy mocked as he once again shut and locked the door.

“I’m trying to watch the movie.” I excused, redirecting my attention to whatever Dizzy had put on. “What is this anyway?”

“Just some horror movie.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just put on whatever it recommended.”

“How do you know it’s going to be good?” I teased as he finally laid next to me.

“Just a feeling.” He played along as he leaned against me. “Besides, if it’s not I think we can find other ways to keep busy.”

“So that’s what this is about.” I pressured as I extended my arm around him. “I thought I was lost and you were going to help me.”

“I’m planning on helping with that too.” He comforted as he snuggled his head against me. “Because I think we kind of need you to find yourself.”

“We?” I repeated, not exactly sure what he meant.

“Promise you won’t take this the wrong way?” He asked as I slowly nodded my head. “I think part of you is still holding back on all of this.”

“Because I won’t sleep with you?” I asked in an unamused voice.

“No.” He quickly dismissed. “You keep up with that pretty well.” He bashfully smiled. “It just,” He hesitated once more. “It feels like this still isn’t normal for you yet.”

“Is that a problem?” I prodded as he shrugged his shoulders. “Because I don’t think getting in trouble and sneaking around with a boyfriend will feel normal to me anytime soon.” As the words left my lips, I started to understand what he was trying to say. “Not that it’s a bad thing.”

“I know,” Dizzy slowly nodded. “but I want it to feel normal to you.” He explained as he carefully thought things over. “I don’t want you coming over and talking to my Mom,to feel weird.” He swayed his head. “I don’t know, does that make sense?”

He’s at a loss for words, but I could tell this is something he’s been thinking over for a little while now. He always acts so confident, but this has been eating away at him I can tell.

“Kind of.” I answered, choosing my own words carefully. “You do feel normal to me.” I tried to comfort. “I always wait to walk to school with you and look forward to doing homework together after.”

“I must just be tripping then.” He tried to dismiss. “I, forget it.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” I quickly clarified. “Because I think part of what you’re saying is right,” I nodded. “but I think you also want to get more serious than we already are.”

“Yeah.” He realized as a blush began to fill his face.

“But I,” I paused and took a gulp. “I’m just not ready for that yet.” I answered, trying to be as honest as possible. “It’s not even because you’re a guy,” I tried to clarify. “I just don’t know if I’m ready to let someone in that much.”

“You think you’ll ever be able to?” Dizzy asked, but this time I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Sorry, Sorry.” I apologized as he looked away from me. It’s so rare I get to see him being serious, but when I do, well it only makes me like him more. “You’re just in such a rush sometimes.” As he heard those words, I noticed him only grow more serious. “It’s cute.”

“You don’t have to lie.” He grumbled, still not looking back up to me. “I know I come on too strong.”

“You think?” I teased, messing with him just like he had with me this morning. “We hang out most of the day, you sleep over two or three times a week, you hang out with my Uncle even when I’m not home, and you still want more?” I asked, as he finally looked back up at me.

He stayed quiet and quickly looked away but before I could say anything else, I laid a kiss on his cheek. “I must be the luckiest person in the world that I have a boyfriend who does that and still wants more.” I encouraged as I pulled him in closer. “I’m just not there yet, but I promise you I will be.” I forced a smile as he looked back up at me. “It’s a little past two months and you’ve got me laying in your bed cuddling, just wait see where we are in four months.”

“In our own place.” He joked, finally letting his mood pick back up again. “I thought I was supposed to help you.”

“You have.” I comforted once more. “You gave me something to work towards.” I forced a smile and landed another kiss on his cheek. “But to get there, I, I need to meet my birth father.” I confessed, mentioning a subject we had both been avoiding.

“But why?” He whined, still not fully understanding my motives.

“He’s the last person in Texas I need to make peace with.” I shook my head. “I just, it’s something I need to do before I can really be happy here.” He nodded but I could tell he was leaving a few questions unspoken.

“I’ll be there for you no matter what.” He suddenly began as he sat up. “I, I may not understand it, but I won’t leave you alone. I promise.” As I heard those words, I couldn’t help but lean forward and land a kiss on his lips. It started innocently, but the more excited we got, the deeper our kiss became.

There’s no denying that I need more time to grow with him emotionally. I mean he’s the first person I’ve ever dated! It’ll take time before I can fully understand what it means to take the step he wants. But seeing how much I trust him physically. Being able to surrender my full self because I know he won’t hurt me. It shows me I chose the right person. It shows me that when I’m ready, I’ll understand just how much I love him.