Fleeting Eternity - 3. Indifference

"So, besides art, what do you like to do for fun?" Nate sat in the booth with Tad and put his elbows on the table to prop up his chin. He leaned forward, totally engaged and intrigued in Tad's response. Their orders had already been taken, and Nate wanted to use every moment with Tad to forge those social connections he loved so much.

Tad thought a moment. "Well, I like reading, drawing, video gaming, and dreaming about breaking into the comic book business." Tad smiled. "I know that's a dream but it's a consistent one." He cocked his head. "How about you? What do you spend your free time doing?"

Nate shrugged. "I'm sorta boring, I guess. I love camping, I'm a science geek, and I read a lot of what people think of as dense, jargon-filled papers and texts." He smiled. "I work at Eureka Books, one of the used bookstores in Old Town. It's a great place for someone who loves to read as much as I do." He made a face. "Though the pay could be better."

Tad smiled affably, and Nate felt his heart thrill a little at the expression. 'Damn, he's so cute. I need to get me some of that. I wonder if he’s a top?’

Their server returned to the table and dropped off their steaming bowls of pho - a complex, savory soup made with rice noodles, broth with herbs and spices, and various cuts of meat. Nate's mouth watered as he looked down at the large bowl. He picked up the squeeze bottle of garlic and chili paste that sat on the table for customers to spice up their soup. "Your art is great. At the coffee shop, I saw that you can draw. It looked like you have a lot of material already done too - if every single tab on your tablet actually had art in it."

Tad stirred his soup with a pair of chopsticks. "Thanks for the compliment. And, yeah. I've got just over two hundred pages of art. There are either four or five panels on each - you know, like a comic book." He then began to tear up one of the little sprigs of basil that came with their soup and sprinkled that over his meal.

"Whoa." Nate blinked. "Uh, that's almost ten comic books worth of material." He tested his soup and nodded to himself at the flavors. "Is the subject matter all your life, or what?"

Tad grabbed a bunch of steaming noodles with his chopsticks, and he let them cool a bit in the air over his bowl. "Yeah, sorta." He shrugged. "Uh, it's mainly the life that I shared with my boyfriend. Just everyday stuff - living and loving as a gay man, and the things we have to deal with." Tad's voice softened. "Things that we went through."

"Boyfriend? You're still a pair?" Nate asked, but he knew the answer from overhearing Tad and his sister in the coffee shop earlier in the month. He fished around for a piece of beef tendon with his chopsticks and put the morsel into his mouth.

Tad sighed. "I guess we're not."

Nate chewed and watched as Tad quietly began to eat his noodles. Nate swallowed his food. After a quick debate, he decided to make his play. "Well, it's obvious it wasn't your choice." He smiled at Tad when the dark-eyed man looked up at him. "You're really a handsome guy. So, he has to be crazy to give you up."

Tad chuckled. "Thanks." He began to absently stir his soup with the chopsticks and stared down into the bowl. "I don't know. Maybe he's right, and I'm the crazy one." Then he frowned to himself and shook his head. "Sorry. I'm not being very good company. And I promised myself I'd not dwell on this tonight."

"I think you're great company," Nate said smoothly. He was gratified to see a little blush on Tad's face when he glanced up at the flirty redhead. Nate could sense some sort of untold story between Tad and his ex. Though he really didn’t care much about those details, he’d still use the situation to his advantage. Nate leaned forward, his blue eyes focused. "I'm sorry this guy didn't appreciate you."

Tad smiled sadly. "Ah, it's not that. I know Chris loves me." He bit his lip. "It's complicated."

'It certainly sounds complicated.' Nate got the impression both Tad and this Chris fellow were still in love with one another. 'Hrm. That means he's hurting.' While Nate didn't like the idea of pain for its own sake, Tad's angst could end up working for him tonight. He couldn't help but plot. 'And it'd be terrible if a guy walked into his life and took his mind off of things for a while.'

Tad shook his head and interrupted Nate's thoughts. "But, I'm here hanging out with you." Tad gazed at Nate with dark eyes. "And I think, maybe, that's what I need right now."

Nate responded with a grin.

∞

Halfway across the country in Texas, Markus sat on the edge of his bed. He kept the sheet draped over his hips and waited for his guest to finish with the bathroom. It wasn't long before the naked, handsome guy strutted down the hallway. He flashed a grin at Markus. "I told you I could work that tension out of your back." Thomas laughed. The guy had always been chatty and interested in Markus where they worked together at the Amarillo College campus bookstore. Now Markus understood why.

They were in Texas, so Thomas didn't exactly advertise that he was gay, but Markus had gotten that impression. After Markus had finally relented and had him over, it hadn't been long before Thomas's promised massage turned into something far more sensual. Thomas sat on the bed and pulled on his socks. Markus watched him, still trying to work out how he felt about what had happened.

Thomas finished getting dressed and stood up. He looked down as Markus remained there, on the edge of the rumpled bed. "We should make this a regular thing."

Markus's jaw worked. "Maybe. I'll think about it."

Thomas paused. "Well, okay." He frowned. "You all right? I mean, this is what you wanted, right? You seemed pretty into it."

Markus sighed. "Yeah, I wanted it."

A short time later, Thomas left Markus's place and the dark-haired man stared at the door. "I wanted it, and that's the problem."

∞

Christopher gazed down at the graph paper. As soon as he got home from the parking lot of the pho restaurant, he dug it out of the backpack he kept in the closet. The paper now lay on the wooden tabletop and he sat at the small piece of furniture in his studio. The remains of his meal lay off to the side, a plastic tray still slightly warm from the microwave and the bits of food stuck to it, while an empty glass, wet with condensation and filmed with milk, was at his elbow.

The sight of Tad sparked something and his eyes followed the precise, crisp lines on the page. The drawing showed in exacting detail Christopher's plans for Tad's desk that he had built. It was the very same desk Tad still used for his art and reading.

Christopher had always had a talent for woodwork and technical drawing. Actually, he had a talent with just about any sort of hands-on activity. His job as a mechanic wasn't ideal for him, but it had been easy for him to learn and he could do the work required of him quickly.

Though wood was where his true passion lay. The desk was both a work of art and one of function. It was compact, rustic, and yet elegant all at once. It had two pivoting wooden surfaces built in, mounted under the top. Each was the footprint of Tad's new computer his sister had purchased for him. There were many more custom, thoughtful elements Christopher poured into the design. It was, by far, the most technical piece of furniture Chris had ever created. His fingers ran slowly over the lines, and he let himself remember Tad's joy at his first sight of it.

He closed his eyes. That familiar sensation of an iron band wrapped around his chest was there. It felt as if he couldn't take a full breath. No matter how deeply he breathed, he couldn't get rid of it.

'He's dating. He's fine.' Christopher exhaled in a slow, long respiration. 'You don't have to be what he needs anymore.'

He hated that he was wallowing. He pushed back from the table and stood up. Christopher grabbed the graph paper with his careful and detailed plans, crumpling it tight in his fist.

He strode over to the garbage can beside the sink and threw the paper in. Then he turned and started to walk away. Chris got two steps and stood with his head pointed down, and his hands flexed open and closed, open and closed.

Christopher made a frustrated sound, and he turned. He fished the small wadded paper out of the garbage. With shaking fingers he carefully pulled the balled paper apart, then he smoothed it out as best as he could on the table.

He looked down at the wrinkled, yet still legible plans. With a heavy sigh, he ran his hand over the marred surface.

"I'm sorry, Tad. I really am. Please, be okay." He swallowed the lump in his throat and turned away, leaving one of the most joyful memories of his life there on the table.

∞

The little red Honda Civic pulled up across from Tad's apartment and Nate put the car into park. He looked over at Tad and smiled. "Well, here you are. Platonically delivered back home."

Tad laughed. It had been some time since he had felt anything close to happiness. After Chris had walked out of his life almost a month ago, the emotion had been hard to come by. Yet Nate easily pulled good and positive emotions out of him. The ache and need for Chris remained, but Nate helped him remember what feeling good was like. He looked up at the window on the second floor that was lit by the yellow glow of his desk lamp. A little black shape was backlit in the window, and Tad could almost hear Kali meowing in his mind. "Thanks." His eyes came back to rest on Nate's. "It was nice to hang out, Nate."

"It was." Nate nodded, and he wet his lips nervously. "Uh, so, do things have to stay platonic?" His eyes lit up with desire and he stared intently at Tad. He tentatively reached one hand over, and he let it rest, warm and comforting on Tad's leg, just above his knee. "I'd like to come up with you. I'll treat you really nice tonight if you'll let me."

Tad couldn't believe how tempting that sounded. He was a one-man kind of guy, and emotionally, he hadn't let go of Christopher. Though Nate's attractiveness, his forward nature, and his overt interest made it hard to say no. Tad let himself look over Nate's handsome face with his deep blue, intense eyes, dark red eyebrows, and his pale, slightly-freckled skin. "Well, I admit I'm tempted." He swallowed. Then he smiled and shook his head just a tiny bit. "Tell you what. Let's try this again. Next time, not platonically. Then, if things work out, maybe you'll get to see my apartment."

Nate's face showed his disappointment and he moved his hand from Tad's leg. He frowned, seemed to catch himself then chuckled. "Okay. That sounds good." He eyed Tad. "Just so you know, I'm not used to striking out."

Tad grinned at him, and he leaned over until his face was only a few inches from Nate's. "Well, if you play the game right, maybe you'll get a homerun next go around." Before Nate could respond, Tad gently pulled him in.

The guys kissed, and Tad felt Nate's hand on the back of his neck. Endorphins and electricity began to shoot through his brain and his cock hardened in his pants. Nate must have been in a similar state, because the redhead groaned around Tad's mouth and tongue.

After a scorching kiss, Tad sat back. They both stared at one another and to Tad's eye, Nate looked a little stunned as he blinked in the aftermath of their amorous moment.

Tad smiled broadly at him. "You've got my number." With that, he opened the door and got out of the car. Before he could change his mind, Tad walked across the street and into his apartment building.

He unlocked the door to his place and Kali met him with a rub around his ankles. "Whew. Kali, that boy is something else." He bent, scooped her up, and walked down the hall with her.

Tad stood in the living room with his kitty. She purred, happy to be held for a bit. Then she began to squirm and he put her down. Tad bent for one more pat on her head, then he stepped over to the window that faced the street.

The Civic was still there, and the glow of a phone screen was visible in the dark car as Nate held it in his lap. Tad's own phone vibrated, and he withdrew it from his pocket. 'Sunday night? Brick and Fire? I'll make reservations for us if you like.'

Brick and Fire was a nice spot. It had a great ambiance, and the food was always delicious. It was also a wonderful place to take a date. Tad grinned and he responded with a text of his own. 'Sure. How about six?'

A thumbs up icon quickly appeared as Nate replied. Then Tad watched as the light from the phone disappeared into Nate's pocket, and the Civic drove away. He stood for a while at the window until there was an insistent meow from the kitchen, near Kali's food bowl.

He chuckled and walked over to the fridge. Tad reached and pulled down Kali's bag of kibble, while the black feline twined around his feet. "What am I going to do, monster?" He poured her food into the little ceramic bowl, and she began to eat immediately. Tad put the bag down and sat there on the floor beside her. He stroked her while Kali's little cute face was in the bowl and her teeth crunched on the food. "I miss your daddy." His face changed to show the sadness he felt around Chris' absence. "But I don't know if he's ever coming home."

He continued to pet her and she purred while she ate. Tad tried to regain some of the way he felt when he was with Nate. "Well, I guess we'll see how Sunday goes." Tad gave her one final pat and he got to his feet. Then he looked thoughtfully over at his desk with his tablet and stylus lying on top. "And, maybe it's time for a new page in the book."

With a little smile, Tad walked over to the desk, and he sat. His eyes lit up as he worked at bringing his evening with Nate to life on the page.

∞

Nate got home after he dropped off Tad and he flopped down onto his couch. "Fuck." He rubbed his face, and lay back on the couch. After a moment he let his hands fall, and stared up at the ceiling. "Damn it. Thought for sure I had him." He let his tongue run over his lips and remembered how Tad had tasted in the car when they kissed.

His body remembered too, and his erection strained at the material of his pants. Nate rubbed himself through the cloth and a low groan rumbled in his chest and throat. He teased himself for a bit, then unbuttoned his pants, and his white briefs did nothing to hide his cock as it stood almost straight up, now that it was freed from the corduroys.

Nate gripped himself through the thin material. When he squeezed a wet spot appeared on his shorts. Nate licked his lips, and he lifted his hips to peel his clothes down and off.
Before he could, his phone vibrated and he jumped. Nate laughed, and he dug in the pocket of his half-down pants.

"Huh. Kent." He unlocked the phone and read the message. 'Hey. Doing anything? Wanna hang out?'

Nate's tongue appeared as he grinned. "Mmmm." He tapped out a reply with both thumbs. 'I wanna hang out. Come over.'

'Okay. See you in a few.'

Nate's eyes narrowed and his smile remained. Then he stood up to get ready for his visitor.

∞

Kent was both nervous and excited. He walked up the stairs to Nate's apartment, not quite sure what he expected or wanted out of the night. He liked what had happened between himself and Nate Monday over their lunch, and he had masturbated to the memory of it twice yesterday.

Now, he stood at Nate's door and he knocked.

"It's open!"

Kent turned the knob and the door opened. He blinked, and his jaw dropped.

Nate stood in the middle of his living room, naked, his dick erect and a grin on his face. "Come on in, Kent." Kent raked him with his eyes and took in everything about the handsome redhead - from his piercing blue eyes to his slim, smooth middle, down to the fiery red hair on his groin.

Kent swallowed and stepped inside. He closed the door behind him, but he never took his eyes off of Nate.

With a sideways smirk, Nate stepped close to him. "I hope you don't mind that I got comfortable for you." He leaned in, one hand on the back of Kent's neck, and the other rubbed the younger man's growing cock through his jeans.

Kent's breathing increased. "N … no. I don't mind." He panted as Nate started to undress him, and Kent's hands rested on Nate's slim hips.

Nate leaned in and kissed him. Kent's eyes rolled in his skull, and as they made out his pants were undone and pushed to his knees.

Nate pulled back a moment. "You need to be naked."

Kent pulled off his shirt, and then he stepped out of his pants. He hesitated a moment with his thumbs under the waistband of his underwear. "Uh, I don't know. We're not gonna do anything risky, are we?"

Nate turned on his smile. "No." He ground his body into Kent's, and the teenager's eyes fluttered as their cocks rubbed together. Even through the material of his shorts, it felt great. "We're gonna play safe." Nate gently nibbled Kent's neck, and he smiled against the skin there. "All you've got to do is lie on the bed. Let me do the rest."

There was simply no denying Nate. Still a bit unsure, Kent let himself be led to the bed, then Nate's eager hands pulled his boxers down off of his hips. It was obvious that Nate was amped up, and his needful and insistent nature showed in his manner.

Nate pushed Kent onto his back on the bed and straddled the husky guy's hips. Kent gasped as Nate gripped his cock. "I want this inside me," Nate whispered.

Kent groaned as Nate stroked him. At some point, a condom appeared, and Nate rolled it over Kent's penis. Then Nate smeared lube on Kent and he put a bit on his own rear.

"Oh man, this is happening." Kent's voice had a note of disbelief.

"You bet." Nate grinned down, and he positioned himself against Kent.

"I've just," Kent gasped when he felt the head of his erection press against Nate's warm, tight body, "I've never done this."

“I figured this was your first time. That's okay,” Nate replied, then something seemed to give him pause. "Are you okay with this?" Though he stopped the downward motion of his body, his hand still circled Kent's turgid member as he guided it into himself, and one finger rubbed back and forth across the younger man's scrotum.

What Nate was doing felt amazing. Though Kent had reservations, he found himself unable to stop what was happening. "I,” he moaned as Nate’s hand gave him a little stroke, “I’m ok. Don’t stop."

Nate smiled. "Good." He let his body settle, and as Kent began to enter him he leaned down, and the two men kissed.

Instinct started to take over, and Kent pushed his hips up. Nate sat up, and he let his head loll back. It wasn't long before he sat on Kent's pelvis, with the young fellow's penis entirely inside him.

"Mmmm. Fuck, that feels good." Nate grinned and he looked down at Kent.

The blonde’s eyes locked into Nate’s face. “God, this is crazy. I can't believe I'm doing this.” Nate began to move his hips, and only a few moments later Kent’s jaw dropped. “Oh shit. Shit.”

“Hang on for me.” Nate furiously stroked himself as he rode Kent. It was apparent Kent wasn’t going to last long.

Appearances were not deceiving. Kent made a strangled sound, and he bucked up into Nate’s body. He had an incredibly intense orgasm, and his body shook while it raged. During Kent's finish, Nate managed to start his own. He let out a groan and a rope of come shot out of him to land in a long streak from Kent’s belly up to his neck. Then he dribbled more as he stroked himself. Finally, he was still.

Both guys panted and Nate patted Kent’s arm. “There you go. You can’t say you’ve not had sex now.”

Kent swallowed, and his face shifted. “Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that’s what we did.”

Nate disentangled himself and he stood up beside the bed. He looked down at Kent. “Well, yeah.” When the teenager didn’t respond, he sat on the edge of the bed beside him. “You ok?”

Kent suddenly felt a lot of emotion, as a realization crashed into his mind. “Uh.” He blinked and a tear ran down his face. He wiped it away, and then another followed the first. “Shit.”

Now Nate looked concerned. “Dude, what’s wrong?”

Kent bit his lip. “It’s ah, it’s just I think I might be gay.” He breathed and shook his head. “I really liked this. I wasn’t supposed to be gay, you know?”

Nate eyed him as Kent hung his head. Then he smiled at the younger man. “Well, you’re pretty fucking good at it.” He obviously tried to make light of things.

Kent frowned, and he looked sideways at Nate. Then he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood. He reached down and pulled off the condom. “I’d better go.” He stalked away, throwing the condom into the garbage as he walked by the bathroom.

“Kent,” Nate followed him. Kent began shoving on his clothes. “What’d I say?” Kent remained silent, and while Nate tried to get him to talk he mutely dressed. Once finished, he turned to leave.

“At least tell me what I did wrong.” Nate seemed genuinely confused.

That’s what gave Kent pause. He faced Nate with a stony, flat expression. “You made a joke out of it. My whole life is now different from,” he began to tear up, “fuck!” He wiped his face. “My whole life is different from what I thought it’d be.” He continued to cry, but now he let the tears fall. “And that’s a joke to you.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” Nate stepped toward him, his hand extended. But he stopped when Kent set his jaw and leaned forward - it was a subtly threatening posture, one that showed he didn't want Nate touching him. Nate stood there, still naked and now uncertain. Finally, he let his hand fall, still a step away from the upset blonde. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

Kent raised his head and he gave a tight nod, while his lips pressed into a thin line. “Yeah. Well, me too.”

Kent turned, opened the door, and left.

∞

Nate stared at the still open door, and he finally made himself step over to close it before someone walked by and saw him. “Fuck. Jesus, he’s so sensitive.”

Nate thought about the situation and the part he played, but he couldn’t hit upon anything he should have done differently. He shrugged then sighed. “Oh well. I can’t help that he’s not ready to admit he’s queer. That’s on him. I hope he gets himself figured out.”

He let go of any sense that he might be at all responsible for Kent’s distress. He’d gotten laid, and he also had the date with Tad to look forward to in a few days.

He wandered into the bathroom. Nate cleaned himself up with a nice shower, and he whistled a happy little tune as he did.

Overall, Nate was having a pretty good night.