The Whale - 25. Part III, chapter 9

- IX -

AMY

When Luke showed up at my door on Thursday night, I thought that he came to kill me. He looked like he totally lost it. At first, I couldn't figure out what happened, but then I realized that he probably checked his e-mail finally, and it made me smile. I think that when he saw me smiling, it got to him even worse. I wished my mother wasn't there, but I knew that there was no way for me to get rid of her. Finally, I decided to just play it cool. I immediately had a plan in my head. It was weird how my brain was flooded with great plans lately. I loved it.

He stared at me, and then he started to ask why. I told him that it was justice. That's exactly what it was! I mean, after everything he did to me? Hell, yeah, it was justice! I couldn't believe my ears when he said he wouldn't give a damn if I did something to him alone. He said, he couldn't figure out why I did it to Faith. I thought that he was joking. Seriously, after the whole thing just came out like this, after he realized that he'd have a hell of a day on Monday when he showed up at school, the only thing that he worried about was his precious Faith?! You are kidding me!!

Then he kept running his mouth and told my mother about the e-mail. She looked at me, and I almost laughed. She looked shocked. Oh, please... He just admitted that he sleeps with our math teacher, and she is shocked because of me? Seriously, I was on the verge of laughter when he started yelling that I only did it because he told me to get lost. It wasn't really funny after that. I screamed at him to shut the hell up, and told my mother to call the cops. I mean, my mother would realize that Russell was a freaking liar, right? She'd never believe that her daughter would actually drug a guy... She stared at me with horror. I screamed that he was freaking lying, and suddenly, Russell looked like he didn't even care anymore. He said something about his goddamn Faith again, and I lost it.

I yelled that I hated her ever since he smiled at her, and I tried shutting myself up, but it was too late. My mother looked at me as if she had never seen me before. I have never felt worse in my life. Not even a week ago, when Luke told me to get the hell away from him. I started to cry, and Luke said that he didn't give a damn anymore and that he was leaving. And then he looked at me with his old cruel smile that I remembered so well since his evil genius days, and he said that it didn't matter to him how much I weighed, because it was still me, no matter what I looked like. I felt like laughing madly because of the irony of his words. I mean, last Friday, that was exactly what I was thinking! That no matter what I looked like, it was still me underneath the wrapper. Out of all people to get that, why did it have to be Luke? And why, why, why did he have to be so damn indifferent about me?! Jesus, he still couldn't even remember my last name!!

Then he told me that I would always be nothing but 'the whale' to him, and walked away. I sat down on the stairs, shaking with sobs. I expected my mother to hug me and tell me that everything was going to be all right, but she never did.

"Amy," she said finally, and I looked at her through the burning curtain of my tears.

She was really pale.

"Amy... Why did you do this? Do you realize what you've done to those two people?"

I blinked. I could not believe this. Them?! What about me?!

"They deserved it!" I hissed. "Especially him!! He humiliated me so many times that I hate him!"

"Then why did you drug him?" my mother asked quietly. "Why did you try taking advantage of him? And why did you send that awful e-mail after he rejected you? Just for revenge?"

"Oh, for crying out loud!!" I exploded. "First of all, I did not drug him! It was just some muscle relaxant...!"

"Which you mixed with alcohol," my mother closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand as if she had a headache. "Amy, do you realize that you can put someone in a coma by doing that?"

"Oh, please!" I snorted. "He is fine...! And the e-mail?" I shrugged. "Mom, he told me he loved me! And then I find out about that math teacher... And I was really upset... Plus, the whole story is beyond disgusting and..."

"He told you he loved you?" my mother frowned. "Amy, was it before or after you slipped him that drug?"

"Why does it even matter?!" I screamed and jumped up. "He told me he freaking loved me!! And then he called me Faith and..."

"Oh my God... Amy... He never said that he loved you, he was saying that to..."

"Her," I hissed. "Yeah, I get it! Thanks for your support, mom! They both got what they deserved! I am glad I sent that e-mail, okay? I wish I could send it to newspapers or TV station or whatever... I wish..."

"Amy," my mother didn't look at me when she was saying that. "You did a horrible thing, and I can't believe that my little girl is capable of doing something like that..."

"Oh, please!"

"I am not finished," she said still without looking at me. "I will never be able to look at you the same way, Amy. I will love you until the day I die because you are my child, but I will never look at you the same way again. I hate to say this, but right now..." She sighed deeply. "Amy, you repulse me, I am sorry..."

She walked upstairs without saying anything else, and I just sat there for the rest of the night. I cried until my eyes felt like they were filled with wet sand.