Jump to content
    Headstall
  • Author
  • 6,968 Words
  • 6,445 Views
  • 316 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Endings - 11. Chapter 11 Torpedoes

I'm not that guy anymore...

                                                                                                                                                                                       ***

 

Torpedoes

 

Their bike ride was brutal, and it was Dawson who set the pace as they rode through the gay village and down towards the waterfront. Chase was more than ready when he finally pulled into a favorite resting spot of theirs—a small patch of the green belt between two sprawling office buildings just west of Yonge Street. Tall pine trees provided much needed shade, and the weekend traffic was slow in this section of the business district.

“So, who won?” Chase asked as they stopped side by side.

“Huh? I guess I did, but we weren’t racing, were we?”

“No! The golf game. Jeez, you still not awake?”

“Oh, right. Yes, I’m awake, but after that ride I need a nap.” Dawson dropped to his knees a few feet away, gulped down some water, and then stretched out on his back.

“Well, that pace was your fault, so no naps. Talk!”

Groaning, Dawson changed position, laying on his side and facing Chase. “Okay, okay. Carter did, but I was only four shots behind. He was one over par, so he’s damn good.”

“You must be good too then.” Chase joined him on the soft grass, groaning too at the instant relief it gave to his tired muscles.

“It all came back to me after the first tee, and it wasn’t a tough course. In fact it was pretty easy.” Dawson smiled, but it faltered almost immediately.

“And… something wrong?”

“Nah… it was hard not to think of all those times I golfed with Brent, though. We used to give each other advice for practically every shot, and razz each other after.”

“Ahhh. Is that why you pushed us so hard today?”

“Too much for you?”

Chase snorted. “As if.”

Both men were silent as they worked on catching their breath. “You still love him?” Chase framed it as a question, but it wasn’t. He already knew the answer, but could tell Dawson needed to talk.

Another groan filled the air before Dawson nodded. “Yes… but it’s easier now, and Carter is a good guy. He’s great to be around, and….”

“And?”

“I like him.” Dawson pulled his shirt over his head, wiping the sweat from his face and body before spreading it out on the grass as something to lay on. Chase watched with interest. Dawson was a good-looking man, and that body deserved perusal, but he was more interested in his demeanor.

“So, then, why are you looking rattled?”

“I’m not. Okay, maybe a little. It’s just that I feel guilty… and mixed up… cause like, what if Brent ever changes his mind?”

His eyes met Chase’s, and he knew Dawson well enough to see there was borderline panic in them. It shook him up a little, but he tried not to show it. “You think that will happen?”

“No, but, I don’t know… I keep hoping. I guess I have been all this time, but everything is becoming real… I mean, there’s Carter now, and I should be only be thinking of him. It’s stupid, right?”

Chase took a deep breath, and blew out a resigned sigh. “If it is, we’re both stupid. Face it, man, we’re in a limbo of our own making… it’s… it’s not good.”

“Yeah… maybe we are. I knew you’d understand.” Dawson expelled his own long breath. “I like Carter, I really do, and I want to move on, but Brent is still in my heart, and that makes me feel guilty as hell. I can see having something good with Carter, so why can’t I be like most guys and get my shit together?”

“Who says you’re not like most guys? Love isn’t something that just disappears—my dad reminded me of that—and even if you start a relationship or have sex to try to get over someone, it doesn’t mean it’ll work. If Carter’s such a good guy, then he’ll understand it can take time to get there. You said he’s been in the same boat as us, right?”

“Broken-hearted? Yeah, he’s been there. You know, since we’re talking about this, I have to say something. Don’t get mad, but… but just listen—if I were you, I would fight for Hank. You said it yourself, love doesn’t just disappear, and sleeping with Kevin, if he is, doesn’t mean he’s not still in love with you.”

“He is sleeping with Kevin, and no fair throwing my words back at me.”

“Sorry, but going on dates has made me do a lot of thinking, and I think it’s a mistake for you to give up.”

“Now you’re really sounding like my dad.”

“I like your dad. He says wise things.” His cheeky delivery made Chase grin.

“Whatever,” he said before rolling his eyes.

“Look, all I know is if Brent wasn’t in love with someone else and getting married… or already married, I would keep trying. Fuck, there are times I think I should have chased after him and not made it so easy. We had all this history and that should have counted for something, you know? You guys have a lot of history too, and you shouldn’t do what I did. You shouldn’t make it easy for him.”

“Hey, aren’t we supposed to be talking about you?”

“Says who? I think that is called avoidance.”

“No, I’m being realistic. I’ve been waiting, and I have tried, but Hank’s not interested in forgiving me.”

Dawson made a growling noise, and Chase heard his frustration as the man laid flat out on his back. “Forgiving you?” Dawson scoffed. “Maybe he’s been waiting too.”

“No, you don’t know Hank. He’s the strong one, and he knows what he wants… or doesn’t want.”

“Why do you say he’s the strong one? You even called him a coward once.”

“I said that to get a rise out of him… he’s always been strong, Dawson… stronger than me.”

“Not from what I’ve seen.” He sat back up, his posture becoming almost rigid.

“How can you say that? You don’t know him, and you’ve never seen how he took care of me, never too tired, and never making me feel bad about being useless.”

“Okay, maybe not—I can only go by what I’ve seen—and he’s been the reactive one in all this, not you.”

“I’m not following?”

“Well, he threw you out, and he’s the one who wouldn’t communicate. Christ, it was like pulling teeth for that guy to talk about what happened, and I don’t know about—”

“He has communicated, it’s just—”

“Oh my god. Stop sticking up for him—have you forgotten how he was when you tried to explain? He’s been acting like a little bitch, and you should see that. How long did it take him to get it on with Kevin? Sorry… I’m not trying to hurt you, but I don’t care how handsome and smart and great and caring he is—he’s been an ass. That was a weak move on his part, so stop putting yourself down.”

“Weak move? What are you talking about?”

“Kevin! Knee-jerk all the way. You made a mistake, but fuck… I haven’t known you as long as he has, but even I can see how loyal you are. Why the fuck doesn’t he know that? And why isn’t he the same?”

“Because of what I did.”

“Oh, fuck… I give up. Okay, all I’m saying is, don’t you throw in the towel like I did—we’re talking about the rest of your life here—and stop apologizing to the guy. From where I sit, he’s the one who’s losing.”

“Whoa… dude. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but what brought this on?” Chase watched Dawson’s rigid posture slowly relax, and then slump.

“Sorry, Chase. I don’t know… I guess I’ve had to face how final things are with Brent, but I don’t see that with you and Hank. I’d… I’d do anything for another chance.”

“But things are final.”

“Are they really? The only thing certain that I see, is they will be if you both give up.”

“Hell, Dawson, Hank’s had enough time to… to….”

“To what?”

“Forgive me, I guess.”

Dawson shook his head and Chase read more frustration. “Maybe you shouldn’t be looking for forgiveness. Maybe you should be looking for an explanation as to why a drunken kiss meant he could trash you and screw someone else.”

“Come on! He didn’t trash me.”

“Didn’t he? Okay, maybe that’s the wrong word, but look at how he handled the whole situation.” Dawson held his hands up in exasperation. “Okay, okay… you don’t want to hear this, I get it. All I know is I’d be pretty fucking pissed if I was you.”

“That’s because you’re my friend, and I appreciate that, but the fact is I did this to us, not Hank. And I do get angry, and I have confronted him, but—”

“It took two to get to where you are now, Chase. Maybe it’s time to confront him again, and yeah, I know you’ve stood up to him already.”

Chase’s stomach roiled at the idea. “I just want to move on… it hurts too much to see the hatred on his face.”

“Hatred? Seriously? I doubt that’s what you’re seeing. That time I met him in the park, before he knew who I was, he was so fucking jealous I thought he was going to burst. Seriously, I could tell he wanted to rip me apart… okay, okay, don’t get mad. I won’t push it anymore, but that guy needs a kick in the ass if you ask me. Just… do me a favor and think about it, okay?”

“I’m not mad, and I will… if you think about calling Brent before you get in too deep with Carter.” His words obviously caught his friend by surprise, and Chase instantly regretted being so callous when the guy was torturing himself. He could end up getting hurt all over again if he took his advice.

Dawson had definitely taken the comment to heart, though. “Don’t you think too much time has passed? He should be married by now, and….”

“Sorry, buddy. That wasn’t fair. I didn’t mean to challenge you like that. I wish I could fix everything for you, but yeah, he’s married and—”

“No… no… maybe you’re right. I should… I’m going to think about checking in with him. I can’t be giving out all this great advice and not use it for myself.”

Chase felt even more guilty at the sheepish, almost frightened expression he saw on the man’s face. “But… you’re finally getting somewhere. Do you think it makes sense to put yourself through that again? What if you don’t hear what you want?”

“Nothing about love makes sense… not for me and Brent, anyway, and from where I sit, not for you guys either. Love doesn’t just disappear, remember? Brent told me he loved me, yet I did nothing—I watched him walk away without a fight.”

“And you think that’s what I’ve been doing.”

“No, you fought, but do you think you fought hard enough?”

“I thought so… but now, I honestly don’t know.”

“Don’t feel bad. I’m going through all kinds of hell right now. Like, why am I thinking about Brent when I can see a possible future with Carter? I mean, am I forcing it with Carter? Fuck!”

“Sorry, Dawson. I shouldn’t have brought him up just now. You were just trying to help me, and I appreciate it.”

“No apology necessary. I’m glad we had this talk… it’s what friends do, right?”

“Absolutely. I got your back.”

“And I got yours. Now get your lazy ass up because we have about twenty-five kilometers to bike yet.”

 

Chase thought a lot about the conversation with Dawson over the next few days, but neither one brought up the subject again in their daily talks. He could tell, though, that Dawson had something on his mind, and suspected Brent was probably it. No matter what, Chase wasn’t going to challenge him again, so he left it alone.

Weighing everything that had happened between him and Hank had not made him the least bit optimistic there was anything left to rescue, no matter that he still loved the man as much as he always had, but he had promised Dawson he would think about it, so he did.

Hank’s love for him had turned off that first night, after the proposal and his subsequent, stupid indiscretion, and he could honestly say he hadn’t seen a glimmer of it since. The hope he’d briefly had the night Hank had taken care of him had been extinguished in no uncertain terms, and his offer of friendship hadn’t been genuine. He didn’t blame him for that… not any longer.

Dr. Chorney had said on a couple of occasions that when relationships end, the only way some could handle it was through clean breaks. Occasionally, people went overboard in their attempt to distance themselves from the person who hurt them, and Chase felt that was what Hank was doing. It was the same thing he’d done with his mother, turning away her every attempt to reach out to her son. The man could hold a grudge, even as a boy.

Maybe Dawson had a point about him and Hank giving up too soon, but each time he’d tried to reach out to his ex, it’d only resulted in pain, and enough was enough. Hank was happy with Kevin, and Chase would accept it… eventually. He really saw no choice, not when Hank wanted nothing to do with him, other than sharing custody of their dog.

Which was why he was taken by complete surprise when he arrived home on Wednesday evening after a tough day at work. An unexpected Rex greeting him at the door was not such a big deal, but stepping forward and seeing Hank, sitting with his broadly-smiling father at the dining room table, was.

“What’s going on? Is something wrong?” He felt himself blush at asking such a stupid question.

“Chase, hi! Good timing… the pizza just got here, and no, nothing’s wrong. I invited Hank over to join us. Come, sit.”

“Oh, okay, I will… I just….” He nodded to his ex, and his stomach leapt as those blue eyes met his. Why did the man have to look so damn good... in shorts, sandals, and an open-necked shirt that drew his attention like a magnet? Even his groin reacted to being in close proximity, or maybe it was to the familiar and coveted hint of cologne the man wore. Man, he really needed to get laid.

“How’s it going?” was not asked in the strongest voice, and Chase used Rex’s attention to cover his awkwardness.

“Hi, Chase. It’s going all right, I guess. Your dad asked me to come for a talk… and the food was another surprise.”

It sounded apologetic to Chase, as if Hank felt he shouldn’t be there, and that fed into what Chase had been thinking about since Saturday. “That’s Dad for you—he never clues me in either, like arriving back home in the middle of the night with no warning.” He smiled, but shot his father a questioning look.

“I actually wanted to talk to both of you, and a man’s got to eat. I got two half-and-halfs, so pick your poison.”

“Smells great. One of those halfs have Italian sausage?”

“And tomato and green olive, yeah, of course.”

“Awesome. Excuse me… I’ll just wash up.”

He closed the door of the bathroom, patting a following Rex before he did, and then actually shivered. He gripped the granite vanity top as he took in deep breaths. Seeing Hank sitting there with his dad, just like in the old days, had definitely shook him up, not to mention the effect it had on him physically. The pair had always been close, and that closeness was still evident. Chase had screwed that up for them, but maybe there was still a chance they could hold onto their father/son relationship.

While washing his hands, he thought about his conversation with Dawson again. Was it possible Hank being here meant he was thawing? He immediately quashed that idea—of course he would come if Charles Leeman asked him to. All Chase could do was keep an open mind and a lid on his hope. Opening the door, he heard laughter from both men and it helped him relax as he walked up the hallway.

The feeling didn’t last long as he neared the table. Taking a seat at the end closest to him, he looked from his left to his right as his father told Hank about how impressive the Coliseum was. Hank made eye contact and smiled, and Chase’s stomach reacted again, but he did manage to smile back. His father pushed one of the pizza cartons towards him as he talked, and Chase busied himself with selecting a slice. As he chewed, he noticed a box sitting to his father’s left. It was one of the Christmas card boxes that used to get delivered every year… he remembered the card illustrated on the lid. He was curious as to why it was sitting on the dining room table in the middle of summer.

They used to go through the cards together—him, Cindy, and their mom—as soon as they arrived, each picking their favorites. It was a good memory. Sometimes there were as many as ten different scenes in a box of fifty. Even though they’d eventually began sending out ones with their own family portrait on them, his mother had continued to order the boxed sets. Everyone from the postman to the dry cleaner to volunteers at the animal rescue center got a Christmas card from the Leemans.

There was a lull in the conversation between his dad and Hank, and he felt calm enough to speak. “This is really good pizza.”

“Yeah, it is. I haven’t had Tony’s Pizza in ages,” Hank said.

“I had it last week, but—”

“You did?” his father asked.

“Uh huh,” he answered around a cheesy mouthful. “I had it at Dawson’s. He likes it too.” Silence followed his words, and he looked over at Hank, who’d dropped his slice back onto his plate.

His smile looked forced. “I’m stuffed already.”

He took a sip of his water as Chase watched him curiously and chewed.

“So… how is Dawson?”

Chase hesitated, sensing an unpleasant undercurrent to the way Hank had asked the question, but he could have been wrong, so he kept his expression neutral. “He’s good. We’ve been biking quite a bit… have been all summer.”

Hank bit on his lower lip, a sure sign of irritation. No doubt about it. The atmosphere had definitely changed.

Chase glanced at his dad, who was pretending not to watch the two of them. “So… how is Kevin?” he asked with the same emphasis Hank had used.

The question seemed to surprise his ex, and his expression became almost a grimace. “He’s, a… he’s okay, I guess.”

“You guess?” Chase couldn’t stop the snort that followed, and silently cursed himself for it.

Hank shifted in his chair, his back becoming straighter. “He’s pissed at me if you want to know the truth.”

“Lover’s quarrel?” Chase winced… what the fuck was he doing? Even he heard the bitter edge to his voice.

“We’re not lovers.” Now Hank was glaring at him, as if he had no right to suggest such a thing.

“Are you saying you and him haven’t been?”

Hank actually sputtered, his face turning a noticeable shade of red beneath his tanned skin as he answered. “I don’t have to… that’s not….”

“Not what?”

Hank sighed loudly. “What are you doing, Chase? Do I ask you about your personal life?”

“You mean my sex life? Go ahead. I have nothing to hide.”

“I don’t either, and your sex life is none of my business,” Hank said sharply.

“Yeah, you’ve made that clear as hell.” Chase dropped his half-eaten slice onto his plate just like Hank had done, his anger building. “But, just for the record, I haven’t had sex with anyone but you. I didn’t have sex with that guy at the bar, nor with anyone else since the night you threw me out. I didn’t feel the need you so obviously did.”

“Right. Says you. It sure looks to me like you and Dawson are a couple, and it does to everyone else who’s seen you guys around, and frankly I’m sick and tired of hearing about it. You two have been joined at the hip all summer.”

“Well, you and everyone else are wrong! But, then again, you’ve been wrong about a lot of things.”

“You’re turning this all on me again? That’s rich!”

“Come on, Hank, grow the fuck up. Yes, I got drunk and kissed someone, and yes, I kissed Dawson a couple of times after you told me you were going away with Kevin, but you were the one who cheated, not me.” He said the last part softly, mostly because it hurt to say it.

“I didn’t cheat… I’ve never cheated in my life.”

“That’s your perspective.”

“And it’s the right one,” Hank snapped, but he didn’t look as sure as he sounded.

“How long did you wait before you slept with Kevin? You are sleeping with him, right?”

The glare intensified, but he didn’t answer. Chase half expected him to get up and storm out, but he continued to push anyway.

“Thought you had nothing to hide?”

“I don’t!” he snapped. “Yes, alright… yes… I did sleep with him, but not anymore.”

“I rest my case,” Chase said, but he felt no satisfaction. “I never gave up on us, Hank, but you… you did. You’ve treated me the same way you do your mother, but—”

“Don’t bring her into this! I’ve told you… what happened to us had nothing to do with her.”

“Doesn’t it? Saying it doesn’t make it true.”

“No… don’t do that. This is about you, and what you did, and what I saw! And, you kissed Dawson! A couple of times… you said it yourself, and….”

“And what? I don’t care anymore if you don’t believe me about the guy in the bar or that you didn’t have an ounce of faith in me, but no way I’m going to let you sit in judgement of me… not anymore. And kissing Dawson was because I was hurting, but even trying it twice in a row, there was nothing there because I still loved you. You can’t equate that with you fucking Kevin… that is just so wrong… on so many levels. I’ll say this one more time. Dawson is my friend… my best friend, and he’s even been pushing me to….”

Hank’s downcast eyes rose up, and this time they appeared clear of the previous anger. “Pushing you to what?”

“To… to… look, he’s an encouraging guy, but it doesn’t matter anymore—because it’s pretty obvious you and I are done like dinner.” Feeling defeated, he turned his attention to his father. “What did you want to talk to us about?”

The question caught an engrossed Charles by surprise, and he hesitated, his left hand now closer to that old box. “Ah… well… I’m not sure if—”

“Maybe this isn’t the time anyway… I should go,” Hank said, the rigidity having returned to his posture.

“Guys, listen—”

“Dad, wait a sec.” Chase, feeling sudden nausea, took a deep breath to steady himself. “Look, Hank, I’m sorry… I wasn’t trying to bust your balls, and I had no business bringing up your mother. Our relationship has been over for months, but obviously some stuff is still raw between us.” He waited for the man’s eyes to meet his. “Anyway, we should try to be civil to each other, and I wasn’t just now. Dr. Chorney has helped me a lot, and I want to get past this stuff… if you do. I promise I won’t bring Kevin or your sex life up again… that wasn’t right.”

Hank’s gaze traveled from Chase to Charles, and it took a good thirty seconds for his shoulders to drop a few degrees. “I don’t know if—”

“You don’t know? You don’t want to get past all this sniping at one another?”

“No… that’s not what I meant. I was actually talking about what you said about my mom. Maybe it’s… maybe there’s some truth to what you said. I’ve been thinking about it, and….”

Chase was stunned at the admission, but he kept his expression neutral as he waited for the man to continue, but there was no more to come. “Okay, so you’ll stick around and hear Dad out. He’ll just pester you if you don’t.” His smile was met with a mouth twitch from his ex, and the tension dropped a few more degrees.

“It’s a father’s prerogative to pester, and you are both my boys… that’s not going to change on my end.”

“Sorry, Dad.” Picking up his pizza again, Chase bit into it, trying to hide his embarrassment at getting angry. He had no right, especially since Hank was his father’s invited guest.

“No need to apologize. There’s still a lot of passion between you two, any fool can see that, and despite where you’re at now, I still consider us family.”

“Thanks, Charles. I think you know how I feel. You and Christine were always welcoming and supportive… I hadn’t had that since my dad died, and….”

“I do know, Hank, I do, and you don’t have to say anything more. Now… I’ve had this tough decision to make about something Christine asked of me, and while I’ve had my doubts, I’m determined to see it through, despite the fact you aren’t together anymore.”

Chase looked at the box again. “This is about Mom?”

“Yes and no, son. It’s more about you two.” He was tapping his fingers on the table, and his head turned to look out the balcony windows. “This isn’t easy for me, and it’s been keeping me up at night.”

“Just spit it out, Dad. What did she ask you to do?”

“Something so Christine, it makes me smile… or it did, but the problem is things have changed, and unfortunately she’s not here to give me advice.”

Hank glanced Chase’s way before speaking. “Did our discussion just now make things harder?”

Charles Leeman sighed. “In a way, yes. I don’t want to interfere, or, god forbid, make anything worse… but would you boys mind if I told you a little story?”

Hank shook his head, and Chase said, “Not at all.” If he’d felt contrite before, it was nothing compared to how he was feeling now. His father looked distressed as he shifted in his chair.

“Do you know why I bought Christine diamonds for every anniversary?”

Chase frowned at the unexpected question. “Ah, I just assumed it was your thing.”

His father chuckled, and then visibly relaxed. “No… not that I ever minded, but it was your mother’s thing. She told me I had too.”

“Really? That doesn’t sound like her.”

“No, not normally, but she had good reason for it. I screwed up not long after you were born, and she gave me an easy out.”

“For what?”

“For going to a company party, getting drunk, and then kissing someone.” His gaze went from Chase to Hank, where it settled.

Hank’s eyebrows rose, and Chase’s followed suit. “You kissed someone?”

“Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?” Now his father was grinning, albeit sheepishly. “I didn’t even want to go to the damn party, but it was Christmas, and your mother insisted. She wouldn’t go because you were fussy, and she was worried you might colic again… you were colicky for about a year.”

“I know, Dad.”

“Of course you do. Anyway, she said it was my duty as upper management and a major stockholder, and she had a good point.”

Hank stayed silent but he was listening, and Chase could tell he was becoming uncomfortable at where this seemed to be going.

“So… you went.”

“I did. You know how your mother is… was. Anyway, we had this woman who was a management trainee at the time. She worked on the floor below and she was new, so I spent some time talking to her and making her feel welcome. She was tall… really tall, and she was—how do I say this? Well, she was built like Jayne Mansfield—”

“Who?” Chase and Hank asked at the same time.

Charles rolled his eyes. “Never mind… not important. Anyway, I’d been nominated to put on a red hat and hand out gifts to the staff, and she offered to be my elf, so we went to get the Santa sacks from my office. Next thing I know, she was holding mistletoe over my head, and I was backed up to my desk. I won’t bore you with the details, but like I said, she was a tall woman—possibly even drunker than I was—and those torpedoes of hers had me pinned flat on my back with a stapler digging into me. It took a lot of effort to disengage myself, and it’s bloody difficult when your feet aren’t on the floor.”

“Torpedoes, Dad?”

“Google Jayne Mansfield and you’ll see what I mean. It all happened so fast my head was spinning, but for those few seconds, I guess you could say I kissed her back.”

“Wow,” Chase said, glancing at a frowning Hank.

“Yeah… I think she mistook my friendliness for something more—I was mortified, and it sobered me up pretty quick. And of course the first thing I did when I got home was tell your mother.”

“Yikes. What did she say?”

“Not much. Told me to get out of our room and sleep in the den. Didn’t say a word to me for three days—not one—until she told me she wanted diamonds for every anniversary so I wouldn’t forget what I did. And that was it. She forgave me… called me an idiot, and never brought it up again.” His eyes were on Hank when he finished.

Chase waited while Hank cleared his throat. “I know what you’re doing, Charles… I get your point, but that was different.”

“Was it?”

“Yes.”

Chase nodded. “Thanks for trying, Dad, but Hank’s right. It was different.”

Hank gave him a curious look before he frowned, but didn’t say anything further.

His father appeared even more perplexed than Hank, before his features smoothed. “All right. Story’s over, and I won’t say another word about your… decisions. So, here’s my dilemma. Christine gave me something to give to you two, once you became engaged, and I—”

“She thought we would get engaged?”

“She was certain of it.”

Hank shifted in his chair, drawing Chase’s attention for a second. “Why? Why would she be certain of something like that?”

“Doesn’t matter, Chase, she just was.” He opened the Christmas card box and took out a small, white velvet bag. Tipping and shaking it, a ring fell into his hand. The afternoon sunlight caught the facets, and it came alive.

He recognized it instantly and gasped. A similar noise came from his ex.

“This is what she wanted you two to have.”

“What? That’s crazy. I thought Cindy had all her jewelry?”

“All but this. This one’s for you boys. I gave her this on our twenty-fifth anniversary.”

“The last diamonds you gave her,” Chase added as he took it from his father. It was beautiful, with two perfectly square diamonds set point to point, and six smaller round ones arranged around them. The effect was stunning, and Chase knew it’d been her favorite ring.

“She didn’t want anymore… she knew… we all knew by then,” he said matter-of-factly, but Chase felt the pain behind those words. “So, that was the end of my penance, I guess.” His sudden smile was wistful, and disappeared as quickly as it had come.

“She couldn’t even wear this one for very long—her fingers got so skinny. She was the one who put it in the box. Anyway, she asked me to give it to you both in hope you would use the diamonds in your own bands. She thought the square emerald cut would look masculine on larger bands.”

“They would, for sure. This is worth a lot of money, Dad.”

“Your Mom was worth way more than every diamond I ever gave her. Anyway, she said it would be as if she was there with you, and that was priceless to her and me both. But, she didn’t want you to feel obligated. I was just supposed to make the offer and leave it up to you two, but she did ask that if you didn’t use it, to put it in your pocket on your wedding day.”

“Wow… I don’t know what to say. She put a lot of thought into this.” He looked up from the ring and over at Hank. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“I… I don’t know what to say either. It was such a nice thing to do, but….”

“Yeah, it’s a big but. There is no engagement, and there will be no wedding. So… so why are you making the gesture now, Dad?”

“Because I told her I would. I promised, Chase.”

“But, she had no way of knowing Hank would propose, so—”

Hank reached over and placed his hand over his, a shocking gesture. “Yes, she did. I told her I was going to.”

Chase stared at the hand before he looked up into a concerned face. “You did? Why? When did you tell her that?”

“We had a talk one day, and it just came up. Weddings did, and I told her I planned to propose. I thought it would make her happy to know that, and it did.”

Chase absorbed his words, and with no warning, his eyes filled with tears. “Why didn’t you then, while she was still alive? She could have been there. If you knew, then we could have given her that. We should have given her that!” His voice rose at the end, and he jerked his hand away from Hank’s.

The man looked stung. “I… I offered, Chase. She didn’t want that.”

“What do you mean? She loved weddings… of course she would want that. You should have insisted!”

“Chase! Calm down. Hank’s right. He did offer, and your mother said she would not be the center of attention at your wedding. She was bedridden by then, and in constant pain, and she didn’t want your focus on her on such a special day. She never would have gone along with it, and to be brutally honest, she didn’t have the energy… you know that.”

“You… you knew about this at the time, Dad?”

“Of course I did. Christine always told me everything, and even when she wasn’t able to talk, we could still communicate. Hank did try to insist… he’s not lying, but your mother was adamant. She was just happy to know Hank was going to propose, and that’s why the offer of the ring meant so much to her.”

“We could have done it at her bedside.” Chase said stubbornly, but he knew what his father was going to say.

“Come on… you know she would never have wanted that. She loved everything about weddings, and she always said the bigger the better.”

“She did always say that,” he conceded, wiping away the few tears that had fallen.

“And that’s why, even though there isn’t going to be one, I had to tell you about it. You needed to know how happy she was at the time. It made the rest of her time so much better… and… I was thankful for that.”

“I wish she could have seen one of us get married.”

His father nodded, but then he smiled. “She told me she was going to be there, on your wedding day—Cindy’s too—and that she wanted to see everyone happy. I believe she’ll be there for both your weddings when the time comes. She also told me to remind you that you should wear a blue suit.”

Chase snorted in amusement, not the least bit surprised at that reminder from his mother. He searched his father’s face, and saw the belief he held. It was enough for him. “So… what do we do with the ring?”

“You boys have to decide that. I did my part.”

“Hank?”

“It’s your ring, Chase.”

“Hold on, that’s not what she wanted,” Charles interrupted. “You could still have rings made for yourselves… I have no objection to that.”

“But we’re not engaged,” Hank said.

“No, but you’re family, and they don’t have to be wedding bands. Christine considered you a son, and so do I. All I ask is, whatever you guys decide, you don’t sell it. It stays in the family.”

“Then Cindy should have it.”

“I agree,” Chase said. “I don’t think Mom meant for the diamonds to be separated, so it should go to Cindy.”

“I’m not sure about that. Cindy has all of your mother’s jewelry except for this, and I think Christine would be happier if you each had something of hers.”

Chase and Hank exchanged glances. “I don’t know….”

“Me neither, and I already have a couple of her paintings.”

“We all have some of her paintings, Hank. Think about it, okay? You don’t have to decide right away.”

Chase watched his father put the ring back in the box. “Wait, Dad. Why do you have it in that big of a box?”

“Oh. Yeah, well, there is something else your mom did for your wedding, but....” he trailed off, looking uneasy.

“But what?”

“I didn’t want to upset anyone again.” His expression slowly changed to one of resignation before reaching into the box. He gave both men one more look as he removed some tissue paper and pulled out a small painting, on what appeared to be heavy paper, and handed it to Chase.

He knew instantly his mother had painted it. It was done in watercolor, a medium she seldom used, and it had a dream-like quality to it. Hank and Chase were sitting on a bench in front of a tree that had been in their old backyard. It wasn’t a close up, rather more of a beautiful summer scene, but there was no denying it was them. She had captured them perfectly, in an intimate moment, in that wonderful way she had as an artist.

“She worked so hard to get it just right… did it in oil first, but wasn’t satisfied. Her hands didn’t work like they used to, but I think she did a great job, and she was happy with how this one—the last one—turned out. Her hope was you might want to get it printed and use it for the first page of wedding invitations if….” His voice, shaking just a little, trailed off once more.

The tears slammed back, and when Chase passed it to Hank, he saw tears had formed in his eyes as well. It was all so beautiful, and so damn sad. Had it all worked out, his mother would have played a big part in his wedding. She had ensured he would have felt her there, from the planning to the ceremony. Standing up quickly, he wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. “I’m going for a walk.”

Hank stood too. “I’ll walk out with you.”

“What? No… stay here, please, and keep Dad company. There’s lots of pizza left and you guys haven’t seen each other in ages.”

“Ah, okay. Are you all right?”

“Yeah, fine. Just a little emotional. I apologize for earlier, Hank, for all of it. Thanks for… for giving Mom something that made her happy in her last days—I’m done being bitter. I want you to be happy, whether with Kevin or someone else… and I want to be happy too. Thanks for doing this, Dad. You did the right thing, and I apologize for my behavior. We were really lucky to have her, weren’t we?”

His father nodded, and his eyes had the same sheen Hank’s did. “You have nothing to apologize for. Are you sure you’re okay?”

He looked over at his ex while he answered his father. “Yes, I’m positive. It’s time to let go of the past. Mom won’t know the wedding didn’t take place—at least, I hope she doesn’t. Anyway, I’ll be back later… don’t worry about me, okay? I’m not that guy anymore.” Hanks eyes widened just slightly before he broke eye contact.

Giving Rex a pat on the head, he told him to stay, and with one last glance at the two men, he left the condo. Taking the empty stairwell just to the right of the door, he began the long walk downward.

 

 

*

Here was the double chapter as promised. So, how did you like it? Just for your information, if you're finding the story worthwhile, we have a new feature where you can recommend Endings to others on the front story page. Feel free... it's pretty simple, and I love getting new readers. :)  Thanks to my editor, Timothy M., and to all the readers who take the time to share their thoughts. Cheers! Gary.
Copyright © 2019 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 31
  • Love 26
  • Sad 24
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Story Discussion Topic

You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments



26 minutes ago, jaysalmn said:

Hank deserved every bit of what Chase gave him, and more!! That asshole should be ashamed to be sitting with Chase's father after the way he treated him! Does Charles know the extent of how Chase was treated? He has a lot of nerve inviting him over too! If I were Chase, during that walk I'd be looking for another place to live. That ring seemed to me like Charles was guilting Chase into trying again with Hank, which is kind of a shit move if u ask me! I agree with Chase to give the ring to Cindy! Also, Charles needs to take out the trash...I mean ask Hank to leave. I would have been beyond angry if I were Chase to be ambushed by Charles and Hank!

Hey, Jay! Chase did really put Hank on the spot finally, and the man deserved it. The thing is, though, we can't forget how hard this has been on BOTH men. And yes, Hank slept with Kevin, we finally know that, but he did it after their breakup. Not cool at all, but I think it was done out of pain, not the desire to actually sleep with someone else. Emotions can mess us up, and I think they have Hank. You don't have to feel sympathy for him, but I still do. He had his world turned upside down, and he never asked for any of it. 

I don't think Charles was trying to guilt his son at all... he was doing what Christine asked him to, and he truly believes, as Christine did, that Chase and Hank had something special. He knows the hurt his son is going through... what both his 'sons' are going through, and he only wants to help. As I dad, I might do the same thing. :unsure:  And Charles would never ask Hank to leave, buddy... he loves Hank... and Hank was there for his son when he couldn't be... when he was faced every day with losing his wife... bit by bit by bit until she was gone. I understand that you don't like how Hank is acting, and maybe even Charles, but all of these characters have been dealing with grief and depression, and mistakes have been made. That's life with all it warts. and I know it's hard to take sometimes, but it's real. Thanks, buddy, for your passion. I always like to hear it... it lets me know my words have effect. Cheers... Gary.... :hug: 

  • Like 2
  • Love 1
Link to comment

I don't know that we can blame the entire affair on Cave-in.  Hank was very quick to hook up with Kevin after declaring himself done with Chase.  How much in love could he be with Chase, to be willing to hook up so quickly?  Chase, the supposed cheater, has been faithful to the relationship for months, because he still loves Hank.  The only reasons I can think of for Hank's willingness to move on so quickly are things like anger and revenge, which don't reflect well on his character.

Another possibility we have to consider is that Hank had already developed feelings for Kevin, even before proposing to Chase, which would explain his insistence that Chase was a cheater, his willingness to immediately declare the relationship completely over, his refusal to listen to Chase's explanations, and his ability to move on so quickly.  Perhaps he was glad of the excuse to break up, because he couldn't deal with having feelings for two people at once.

As every long-term couple knows, you are going to feel attracted to people outside the relationship from time to time; it's how the couple handle such moments together that defines the relationship.  Perhaps Hank was hoping that proposing would help strengthen his commitment to Chase over his attraction to Kevin, when what he really should have done was to acknowledge the attraction to Chase instead of hiding it, so they could have worked through it together.

All this speculating is a lot of fun, but Gary alone knows what Gary's gonna do! 😀😊

 

Edited by BigBen
  • Like 3
  • Love 2
Link to comment

Hank received a dose of strong spined Chase, and it seems he’s surprised. Good for Chase. Charles certainly plays a good peacemaker and honest intermediary, but in the end it’s the raw unhappiness Chase and Hank feel that overwhelms his efforts.  These two may never reconnect again as they once did - I’m not sure they believe in that connection anymore. 

  • Like 3
  • Love 1
Link to comment
22 minutes ago, BigBen said:

I don't know that we can blame the entire affair on Cave-in.  Hank was very quick to hook up with Kevin after declaring himself done with Chase.  How much in love could he be with Chase, to be willing to hook up so quickly?  Chase, the supposed cheater, has been faithful to the relationship for months, because he still loves Hank.  The only reasons I can think of for Hank's willingness to move on so quickly are things like anger and revenge, which don't reflect well on his character.

Another possibility we have to consider is that Hank had already developed feelings for Kevin, even before proposing to Chase, which would explain his insistence that Chase was a cheater, his willingness to immediately declare the relationship completely over, his refusal to listen to Chase's explanations, and his ability to move on so quickly.  Perhaps he was glad of the excuse to break up, because he couldn't deal with having feelings for two people at once.

As every long-term couple knows, you are going to feel attracted to people outside the relationship from time to time; it's how the couple handle such moments together that defines the relationship.  Perhaps Hank was hoping that proposing would help strengthen his commitment to Chase over his attraction to Kevin, when what he really should have done was to acknowledge the attraction to Chase instead of hiding it, so they could have worked through it together.

All this speculating is a lot of fun, but Gary alone knows what Gary's gonna do! 😀😊

 

Well, I certainly do enjoy the speculation, but yeah, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. :P  As far as hooking up with Kevin, we don't know whether it started the weekend they went away, or even weeks later. A lot of time has passed since that fateful night. We only know that it happened... and that Kevin is pissed at Hank. As an observer, and not the author, I would lean towards the possibility that Hank slept with Kevin in an attempt to move on and get his mind off of Chase... and maybe as payback for what he thought was done to him. Ill advised and stupid? You bet. But, I really don't see Hank as someone who harbored feelings for anyone but Chase... and I think his behavior lends to the truth of that. While I understand how others can think differently, I see the actions of a man who is heartbroken, still in love, and desperately trying to pretend he doesn't care. It's an epic fail in my opinion. :( 

  • Like 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment
14 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

Hank received a dose of strong spined Chase, and it seems he’s surprised. Good for Chase. Charles certainly plays a good peacemaker and honest intermediary, but in the end it’s the raw unhappiness Chase and Hank feel that overwhelms his efforts.  These two may never reconnect again as they once did - I’m not sure they believe in that connection anymore. 

I'm not sure they see a possibility for them anymore either, Parker. There are so many strong emotions still at play, but Chase did a good job of bringing it all out into the open, so yes, good for him. He certainly did show some spine. I almost wonder if Hank listened because Charles was there... it's pretty obvious there is love and respect there. I give Charles credit for telling his story... it didn't give him the result he hoped for, but as a parent, you can only do what you can and the rest is out of your hands. 

If there is a positive, it is that Hank took it... and even admitted his issues with his mother may have contributed to how he reacted. That's a big deal, but not if there is no follow through. At the least, though, there can be enough forgiveness to rebirth a friendship of sorts. Maybe. 

Thanks, Parker! :hug:  

  • Like 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment

Very potent chapter. This was a confrontation and conversation that needed to happen, and it was great that Charles was able to bring it all together. I hadn't written Hank off, and I still believe his behavior was the result of some complicated issues in his thinking, rather than the fact that he was just an innate ass. He seems to have needed to show himself a few things, and maybe prove to himself a few things. Just now he seems ready to admit he hasn't been right in the way he's dealt with all of this.

Chase has gotten stronger and clearer, and Dawson has been a great friend and helped put a few facts in front of Chase's eyes. Chase may now be able to make a proper decision on all this.  The setting is now ripe for...but that's for you to present. :)

 

  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment
1 hour ago, Geron Kees said:

Very potent chapter. This was a confrontation and conversation that needed to happen, and it was great that Charles was able to bring it all together. I hadn't written Hank off, and I still believe his behavior was the result of some complicated issues in his thinking, rather than the fact that he was just an innate ass. He seems to have needed to show himself a few things, and maybe prove to himself a few things. Just now he seems ready to admit he hasn't been right in the way he's dealt with all of this.

Chase has gotten stronger and clearer, and Dawson has been a great friend and helped put a few facts in front of Chase's eyes. Chase may now be able to make a proper decision on all this.  The setting is now ripe for...but that's for you to present. :)

 

So... yeah... the pressure is on. :P  Thanks, Geron. Both conversations were important for Chase. He needed to hear Dawson and be there for him. I loved writing Dawson's mixture of alternating strength and vulnerability. That combination was indeed potent for me. :)  More than that, I believe it prepared Chase for his unexpected meeting with Hank and his dad. He too was a mix of vulnerability and conviction. He stumbled but didn't crumble at the gifts from his mother, impressive, after having said what needed to be said to his ex. He was confrontational for sure, but it was required, more for him than for Hank. Maybe this will signal the last of his frustration with trying to get through to Hank... and maybe make those decisions easier. :huh: 

I'm glad you see Dawson as a great friend... close friends can make all the difference in our lives, and I think Dawson has done that for Chase. :) 

Cheers, my friend, and thanks for your support... G. :hug:  

  • Love 2
Link to comment
2 hours ago, Headstall said:

As an observer, and not the author,

But ya are the author, Blanche, ya are! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Like 2
  • Love 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
1 hour ago, BigBen said:

But ya are the author, Blanche, ya are! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Well, I do sit in the author's chair at the moment. :P  It's funny, though. I don't know about other authors, but I can truly separate myself from a story I've written. I can read one of my stories and feel the same emotions after multiple readings. Like, I can still read a Morningstar chapter and cry... or any other story chapter... being the writer doesn't ruin it for me, and that's a great thing for me. I can love my characters forever. :P 

  • Like 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment

A lot of major developments in this one, my dear friend, and under other circumstances they would have been wonderful...now only bittersweet regrets and remorse remain.
Younger guys won't get the Jane Mansfield reference, perhaps not even after looking it up...but I laughed my ass off when you sprang it on us!  How many adolescent boys and men had wonderful dreams about her and those brassier ads?  Did nothing for me, but the guys underwear pages in the mail order catalogues were my earliest sources for such dreams.  Messers Sears, Roebuck and Ward must have been turning over in their graves....
I can't say what will happen now, but the ball is entirely in Hank's court, hinging on his emotional growth concerning his mother's actions.
I hope Christine's final act will bring about the wedding she so wished for....

:wizard:   🐈

  • Like 2
  • Love 2
Link to comment
7 minutes ago, ColumbusGuy said:

A lot of major developments in this one, my dear friend, and under other circumstances they would have been wonderful...now only bittersweet regrets and remorse remain.
Younger guys won't get the Jane Mansfield reference, perhaps not even after looking it up...but I laughed my ass off when you sprang it on us!  How many adolescent boys and men had wonderful dreams about her and those brassier ads?  Did nothing for me, but the guys underwear pages in the mail order catalogues were my earliest sources for such dreams.  Messers Sears, Roebuck and Ward must have been turning over in their graves....
I can't say what will happen now, but the ball is entirely in Hank's court, hinging on his emotional growth concerning his mother's actions.
I hope Christine's final act will bring about the wedding she so wished for....

:wizard:   🐈

Yes, a lot more happened in this extra long chapter than first meets the eye. There are layers here... and as you know, they are an important part of building a story. Glad you liked the Jayne Mansfield reference. I purposely used it knowing the younger guys wouldn't get it. I enjoyed calling 'them' torpedoes... it's what my stepfather, who had a crush on her and took me to one of her movies, called them. My mother was built very similar. :unsure2: 

Lol to the catalogues, the source of many fantasies. :yes: 

Did Hank get a wakeup call? It's tough to say, but if he is ever going to be happy, he needs to look after his own issues, or they will keep sabotaging his relationships. I know from experience you can't run from yourself, nor can you run from your past. 

Christine's act, at the least, has given Chase some more peace in knowing she had something she loved, that gave her purpose in her final days. Thanks as always, my dear friend... cheers... G-man. :hug:  xoxoxo

  • Like 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment

So many things to say. Definitely need to collect my thoughts and read this chapter again before going further, but the one thing I’ll say for now is: so much of Hank’s behavior makes more sense now, especially his reaction to seeing Chase with Dawson.

Hank slept with Cave-In to forget about Chase but discovered over time that he wasn’t able to. A part of him did it to hurt Chase but he also was punishing himself for everything that went wrong with the proposal. Had he not gone along with Christine’s wishes and proposed earlier, maybe Chase wouldn’t have reacted so poorly and ended up kissing another guy. (We know it was a bad idea and that more was at stake, but Hank didn’t.)

On top of it all, he started feeling guilty. No matter how badly he treated Chase, Chase kept trying. Despite trying to convince himself otherwise, he still felt something for Chase — something other than anger and betrayal and something more than he felt for Cave-In.  That came to a head when he saw Chase with Dawson and assumed his ex-boyfriend had no trouble moving on.

Hank got so incredibly angry because he’d beaten himself up over his relationship with Cave-In and started doubting himself, but also because he got jealous. So, once again feeling wronged, Hank redoubled his efforts with Cave-In until, once again, things came to a head just prior to their trip to the cabin. Chase made a very compelling case and suddenly all of Hank’s doubts came crashing down again.

Up until that point, I don’t think Hank considered he’d been the one to throw away their relationship. He’d convinced himself of that. However, with that called into question, so too were Hank’s other decisions. Had he given up? Is this where they stood? Is this what he wanted, who he wanted?

The subdued Hank mentioned in last chapter and the curiously warm Hank we met at the condo today, they speak of someone who’s done a lot of thinking. That Cave-In is angry with Hank gives me the impression he pushed for a decision Hank want ready to make and didn’t get the answer he wanted. Had Chase’s anger not gotten the better of him over dinner, their conversation could’ve been constructive instead of dissolving into the now familiar — and almost comfortable — rehashing of past slights. It’s almost like they’d settle for being enemies because it’s safer emotionally than trying for friendship or reconciliation.

If Hank doesn’t follow Chase downstairs, I hope he has the guts to stick around until Chase returns. They have a lot they need to talk about and putting it off isn’t doing them any favors.

Oh, and fuck Kevin Cave-In. Fuck him with a rusty chainsaw. I joked about disliking him before but I loathe him and what he helped happen after this chapter. Having been cheated on, he knew how vulnerable Hank was and he took advantage of that. The silver lining is Hank has begun to recognize what a bad idea it was and just how much it may have cost him.

Charles’ heart was in the right place. The story about the diamonds was beautiful and poignant and despite appearances, I think it had the desired impact. Again, not in the realm of immediate change but it planted the seeds — recognition that a kiss is only as big a mistake as you make out to be and the understanding that, while a mistake shouldn’t be forgotten, it doesn’t have to spell the end of a relationship.

Since Hank rebuffed Chase’s attempts at reaching out in the past and tonight it seemed like Chase reflexively flinched when Hank made his own clumsy attempt, I hope they can accept one of Charles’ hands each and allow him to bridge the gulf between them. Whether or not they get back together, becoming friends again is a step in the right direction and something Charles can help them with. (And once they get to know the “new” Hank and Chase, maybe they’ll find the old spark is still there.)

And Dawson. He’s kind of damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. He needs closure if he’s going to pursue a relationship with Carter, but closure comes with the pain of knowing Brent moved on and is happily married. If he doesn’t call Brent, Carter will forever be associated with guilt and they can’t be together. Of course, what happens if Brent is married but unhappy or recently divorced? (Brent and Dawson deserve a novel of their own, Gary. Think of all the heartstring you could pluck!)

Oooookay, it’s late and I’m riding high on cold meds. More tomorrow. Er, today. 

Edited by Danners
  • Like 2
  • Love 3
Link to comment

I'd always heard them referred to as 'bazookas', but must admit torpedoes does have a more navel feel.🙂

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment

Such a beautiful friendship has evolved between Chase and Dawson.  

It is your best friend who wants to kick someone’s ass on your behalf while giving you the tough love advice you won’t hear from anyone else.  They deserve to have each other, in whatever form their relationship takes.  
In a perfect world, Dawson would reach out to Brent and get his man back and Chase and Hank would properly reunite....doing the work needed to make their relationship healthier.  (I mean, while it’s their world, it’s your creation;  You could make that happen Gary, knowing how much you love HEA’s.  Alas, I also know you love being realistic and that romantic possibility is likely too trite for you).  
Christine Leeman is mothering from beyond, the way all mothers do who leave an indelible impression on their children.  Chase was too grief stricken to realize that his beloved mother, who loved all weddings, would definitely find a way to be at his in spirit, since she wouldn’t be in body.  I’m also glad her wedding present gave Charles the way to let Hank know he was still considered family.

For all of Chase’s growth, which has been amazing, (“don’t worry about me, okay? I’m not that guy anymore.” indeed) 👏, he still has a blind spot regarding his relationship with Hank.  His guilt over his mistake and his perception of Hank’s strength and inviolable sense of right and wrong have blinded him to Hank’s vulnerabilities and culpability in the aftermath of their breakup.  Dawson was spot on in describing Hank’s reactions but Chase hasn’t put down the cross to see Hank’s nail marks.  

I feel Chase’s declaration of not being that guy anymore worries Hank on a couple levels-

1/Is Chase not the guy that loves him anymore?  

2/ If he’s not weepy, needy Chase anymore, what need does Chase have for him?

Hank always loved Chase but there was insecurity in that love that being Chase’s savior fed.  Chase is learning to walk without crutches now and that opens up Hank’s insecurities again.

Oh, Gary, I have no idea which way these relationships will go, I just know you will make the ride damned interesting.  (By the way, that didn’t feel like two chapters to me, even though I’ve given a three chapter review, lol.)

  • Like 2
  • Love 3
Link to comment

And I too, look forward to knowing what pissed that sneaky bitch off.

 He got whatever he deserved, in my opinion.  Skank.  :yes:
 

On a more important note, I loved the Jayne Mansfield reference (Chase and Hank’s “who?” was even funnier, LOL!!)  Beautiful Mariska Hargitay’s mama is my favorite blond bombshell.  

Edited by FanLit
  • Like 2
  • Love 2
Link to comment

Two really good analyses of the story this far.  I'd say Danners and FanLit are spot-on.  It really looks to me right now as though Chase and Hank are not going to be able to reunite as a couple.  For me, I have to say that were I in Chase's place it would be hard to get past Hank's brief affair with Kevin.  Chase might be able to, however; he is more forgiving than I am.  Hank's readiness to declare the relationship over and move on so quickly still disturb me, and I hope that if Chase decides to forgive Hank, he will not do so without getting to the bottom of what was going on with Hank.  The renewed relationship wouldn't be any good, otherwise.

The contrast between Kevin and Dawson is really clear, isn't it?  Dawson has the strength and integrity not to take advantage of Chase, but Kevin moves right in and takes advantage of Hank's vulnerability.

 

  • Like 3
  • Love 1
Link to comment
7 hours ago, Danners said:

Oh, and fuck Kevin Cave-In. Fuck him with a rusty chainsaw. I joked about disliking him before but I loathe him and what he helped happen after this chapter. Having been cheated on, he knew how vulnerable Hank was and he took advantage of that. The silver lining is Hank has begun to recognize what a bad idea it was and just how much it may have cost him.

What he said, :gikkle: :rofl:

Quote

Charles’ heart was in the right place. The story about the diamonds was beautiful and poignant and despite appearances, I think it had the desired impact. Again, not in the realm of immediate change but it planted the seeds — recognition that a kiss is only as big a mistake as you make out to be and the understanding that, while a mistake shouldn’t be forgotten, it doesn’t have to spell the end of a relationship.

I was thinking the same thing about indiscretions when Charles was telling his story.    
Not to make light of what Chase did but I can tell you from past experiences that certain indiscretions don’t have to be the death knell of a relationship;  Then again, I can also tell you from past experiences certain indiscretions can ring that final bell;  It depends on the depth of the indiscretion and the strength of the relationship.

Edited by FanLit
  • Like 3
  • Love 2
Link to comment
7 hours ago, Danners said:

Had Chase’s anger not gotten the better of him over dinner, their conversation could’ve been constructive instead of dissolving into the now familiar — and almost comfortable — rehashing of past slights. It’s almost like they’d settle for being enemies because it’s safer emotionally than trying for friendship or reconciliation.

Hey, Dan... your whole post is so thoughtful, and I can't really disagree with any of it. The section I quoted had me exclaiming 'Yes!' because I truly believe that it is dead on. This is what happens when two people are hurting... and have been hurting. After what Hank saw as the initial rebuff, he has responded in kind. And now Chase, in his own way is doing it. Neither man wants to get hurt again. :yes:  But, that said, this was more than rehashing. As much as Chase thought he was certain, I don't think he wanted to hear what he did. Up until that point Hank admitted he'd slept with Kevin, I believe Chase held out some hope he'd been wrong, and to find out he wasn't had to have put a final nail in it. I'm proud of him for handling as well as he did, even if Hank deserved worse. Chase did hold back... and agreeing with Hank that Charles' diamond story wasn't the same, showed to me how he has come to accept that things are forever changed. 

As far as Kevin, I can finally agree with you guys. Kevin had no business getting involved with Hank, no matter what. There is no good reason. He, quite frankly, moved into Chase's territory... that is something you don't do to a friend... and tells me Kevin is just one more messed up person in the mix. So, yeah, fuck Cave-In!

I think you're right that Hank has done some serious thinking, and your assumption of what happened between him and Kevin is reasonable. Hank is likely filled with regrets. He has dug himself a deep whole, and it doesn't fall on anyone but him to get out of it, if he does happen to see the proverbial light. Meanwhile, Chase is in a way different position. He has all the facts he needs to form the whole picture, and has the strength to keep him on track... to continue to be this new guy who stands up for himself, and doesn't look to others to take care of things.

I thought Charles did all he could... he was in a really tough position, bit he did the right thing, and he tried his best to help his boys. He may see it as a failure right now, but I don't. Both men are better off than they were, and Hank has actually started to question his own motives. 

As for Dawson, yes, he does deserve his own story, doesn't he? :) 

Really nice post to wake up to, buddy. Thank you! Cheers... Gary.... :hug:  

  • Like 2
  • Love 2
Link to comment
1 hour ago, BigBen said:

The contrast between Kevin and Dawson is really clear, isn't it?  Dawson has the strength and integrity not to take advantage of Chase, but Kevin moves right in and takes advantage of Hank's vulnerability.

 

That funky beyatch (didn’t want to write the actual curse word on your post).  😬

I tried to give the hoe the benefit of the doubt;  Gary presented him as a quiet, benign presence, especially qualifying him as both Chase and Hank’s friend but something about when Chase rolled up on the both of these two “loving, devoted” boyfriends (who’d been so devastated in their respective breakups they isolated themselves from everyone except apparently each other) struck me as more guilty than commiserating over a common bond.  
Unless Kevin always had designs on Hank, he had to know it would be a bad idea to start up anything with Hank so soon after the breakup;  Some people don’t mind being a rebound but I think Kevin is now realizing Hank ain’t rebound, he’s still stuck in his feelings for Chase.

Edited by FanLit
  • Like 2
  • Love 2
Link to comment
4 hours ago, Ivor Slipper said:

I'd always heard them referred to as 'bazookas', but must admit torpedoes does have a more navel feel.🙂

Lol. Yeah, Ivor, I knew them as bazookas too, but when it comes to Jayne Mansfield, my dad's term was right on the money. :P 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
3 minutes ago, Headstall said:

 

As far as Kevin, I can finally agree with you guys. Kevin had no business getting involved with Hank, no matter what. There is no good reason. He, quite frankly, moved into Chase's territory... that is something you don't do to a friend... and tells me Kevin is just one more messed up person in the mix. So, yeah, fuck Cave-In!

YAY!!!!

Welcome to the club. (which I suspect you were always in, ‘cause you knew about that tart from the start, LOL!!)

  • Like 2
  • Love 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
50 minutes ago, FanLit said:

Such a beautiful friendship has evolved between Chase and Dawson.  

It is your best friend who wants to kick someone’s ass on your behalf while giving you the tough love advice you won’t hear from anyone else.  They deserve to have each other, in whatever form their relationship takes.  
In a perfect world, Dawson would reach out to Brent and get his man back and Chase and Hank would properly reunite....doing the work needed to make their relationship healthier.  (I mean, while it’s their world, it’s your creation;  You could make that happen Gary, knowing how much you love HEA’s.  Alas, I also know you love being realistic and that romantic possibility is likely too trite for you).  
Christine Leeman is mothering from beyond, the way all mothers do who leave an indelible impression on their children.  Chase was too grief stricken to realize that his beloved mother, who loved all weddings, would definitely find a way to be at his in spirit, since she wouldn’t be in body.  I’m also glad her wedding present gave Charles the way to let Hank know he was still considered family.

For all of Chase’s growth, which has been amazing, (“don’t worry about me, okay? I’m not that guy anymore.” indeed) 👏, he still has a blind spot regarding his relationship with Hank.  His guilt over his mistake and his perception of Hank’s strength and inviolable sense of right and wrong have blinded him to Hank’s vulnerabilities and culpability in the aftermath of their breakup.  Dawson was spot on in describing Hank’s reactions but Chase hasn’t put down the cross to see Hank’s nail marks.  

I feel Chase’s declaration of not being that guy anymore worries Hank on a couple levels-

1/Is Chase not the guy that loves him anymore?  

2/ If he’s not weepy, needy Chase anymore, what need does Chase have for him?

Hank always loved Chase but there was insecurity in that love that being Chase’s savior fed.  Chase is learning to walk without crutches now and that opens up Hank’s insecurities again.

Oh, Gary, I have no idea which way these relationships will go, I just know you will make the ride damned interesting.  (By the way, that didn’t feel like two chapters to me, even though I’ve given a three chapter review, lol.)

I usually don't have a problem satisfying people with length. but you readers are always wanting more. :P  A lot went into this chapter, though, and I'm pleased you got so much from it. Yes, Dawson and Chase have a truly special friendship. How could we not cheer Dawson on for his attempt to help his friend. Even in the midst of his own scary issues, he turned the focus to Chase. I just love that guy. :) 

Unfortunately, it is not a perfect world, but I will see what I can do to make this story satisfying. :yes: 

I love to write the power of mothers... Christine continues to be involved in the family she loved. It's great to hear that came through loud and clear. When we lose someone, it doesn't mean they are gone, and Christine was completely present today. 

I agree about Chase's blind spot for Hank, but I also think he took a step towards further clarity after this. Yes, there were more things he could have done or said, bit considering the heaviness of the situation, he got a lot of poison out. It should serve him well, shouldn't it? Hank is definitely vulnerable, and Chase did let him off the hook a few times, and maybe that will bode well for potential friendship. We'll see once the dust settles, but we all know Hank is stuck... and capable of being stubborn. I saw some promise, though, in his moving off his position with regards to his mother's influence.

You are so right about the effect of Chase's declaration that he isn't that guy anymore. It may well have been the most important line in the entire chapter. So, yeah, I think it set Hank back on his heels. Is his folly staring him in the face now? Again, we'll have to wait and see. 

Wonderful comment, my friend. I thank you for it. Cheers... Gary.... :hug:   

 

  • Like 2
  • Love 2
Link to comment
3 minutes ago, Headstall said:

I usually don't have a problem satisfying people with length.

Stop bragging, buddy! :kiss:

  • Like 2
  • Love 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
51 minutes ago, FanLit said:

And I too, look forward to knowing what pissed that sneaky bitch off.

 He got whatever he deserved, in my opinion.  Skank.  :yes:
 

On a more important note, I loved the Jayne Mansfield reference (Chase and Hank’s “who?” was even funnier, LOL!!)  Beautiful Mariska Hargitay’s mama is my favorite blond bombshell.  

She died way to soon, but she left quite a mark. :heart:  Glad you liked the reference. From all accounts, she was an amazing woman... incredibly intelligent and a wonderful mother. 

Yup... I can finally say Kevin aka Cave-In, is a skank. Henceforth, I will no longer be sticking up for him, so have at him. :) 

  • Like 2
  • Love 2
Link to comment
3 minutes ago, BigBen said:

Stop bragging, buddy! :kiss:

Seriously  :yes:🙄😝

Edited by FanLit
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment

View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..