Goodnight and Godspeed - 4. Shedding

Greyson Myers is probably the bravest man I’ve ever met. This man, whose entire life is based on an image created for him, stood in front of a room filled with people he didn’t know—and bared his soul. I know from experience that a One-on-One can be one of the most terrifying things a human can experience.

Surprisingly, the terrifying part isn’t that you’re telling a room full of strangers a lot of personal shit you’d never tell anyone else—the terrifying part is the act of peeling away layers and layers of your soul. You find yourself exposing things to yourself that you haven’t thought of or considered throughout your life.

I think I heard Grey say something about wanting to find his friend Rafe. I’ll let him know that he’ll have a chance to work on that next week. He needs to focus on himself for now.

GREYSON

Francesca had three more One-on-One sessions after me. I don’t remember much about the session right after mine—my brain was spinning as I thought about what I had just experienced.

I was surprised at how emotional—gut-wrenching, even—the sessions were. Francesca was direct and to the point as she tore down the walls that kept my fellow participants and me from finding our truth.

I was also surprised at how much processing I was doing in the hours after I sat down. I made a few decisions as I was sitting there—decisions that I may or may not share with Lucas later on. Who am I kidding? Of course, I’m going to share them with Lucas.

The fourth One-on-One broke my heart—and pissed me off—all at the same time. His name was Christopher, and he literally stood in front of the room and told us that he hated himself.

He said that he thought he had a wonderful life. He was married to a beautiful woman, and they had two remarkable children. Out of the blue, without a hint of any trouble, his wife left with the kids. She did it while he was on a work trip.

The wife left him a rather long note, accusing him of mental abuse and causing psychological damage to his children. She said that he was incapable of love and that she would not allow his so-called dark personality to poison the minds of her children any longer.

He was, of course, devastated. Several weeks after his wife left, he finally got his head together and hired someone to find her and his children. He discovered the real reason she left was a new relationship with a very wealthy man. When Christopher tried to take legal action to get his children back, the man’s high-priced legal team successfully took his wife’s false accusations to court. He lost all custody rights to his children.

He slowly became the person his ex-wife had accused him of being. He lost everything except his job—and that was only because he was self-employed.

As Francesca peeled away his layers, he discovered that his ex-wife wasn’t entirely wrong about him. He found that he had no idea how to love someone else freely. He tended to place conditions on the emotions he allowed himself to share with others.

It was apparent that even Francesca was having a difficult time with Christopher. By the time his One-on-One was wrapping up, Christopher was on the floor with his arms wrapped around his legs. He was sobbing when Francesca got on the floor with him. She put her hand on Christopher’s shoulder and told him that he would be just fine. She explained that everything he had just learned about himself was things that they would teach him how to fix and begin rebuilding his life.

What struck me the most was the last thing she said to him. “Christopher, I want you to understand that one of the greatest gifts the Universe can give you is the opportunity to recreate yourself into the person you choose to be. Right now, you might feel that you’ve hit rock-bottom. Rock-bottom can be a beautiful place because as you pull yourself up, you get to choose who the real Christopher is—every step of the way. And the best part is that you have everyone in this room to support you and help you find your way—and yourself.”

Wow. I didn’t feel so exposed after that!

The last part of the afternoon was thirty minutes with our partner. We were supposed to discuss the One-on-One sessions we had just witnessed—or participated in—and find out how other people’s experiences can relate to our own.

I told Lucas that I would prefer to talk to him about my One-on-One when we were alone tonight, and he thought that was a good idea. I also told him how the end of Christopher’s One-on-One hit close to home for me.

When Lucas asked how that affected me, I told him that when it came down to it, I was going to be creating my public image the way I wanted it to be perceived—not the way Beverly wanted the world to see me—and not the way my mother wanted her friends to see me.

Lucas smiled at me and said, “You are an amazing man, Greyson Myers. I’m so glad I get to spend these two weeks with you as you learn about who the real you is—or isn’t.”

“I hope what we have going lasts a little longer than the two weeks here in Hawaii. What? Don’t tell me it’s going to be ‘bye-bye Greyson,’ and off you go to the fucking Alps!”

“Hell no, Grey. You’re kind of stuck with me. We’ll figure out the logistics when we need to, but I have no intention of leaving you behind when we’re finished here.”

Time stood still then—Lucas and I found that special place in each other’s eyes. We just took in each other’s soul—until Francesca walked up and placed her hands on my shoulders. She was standing behind me and asked if I needed anything or had any questions about my One-on-One.

“Well, Francesca—there is one thing. I know I need to find Rafe and fix things. Do you have any ideas on how I can do that?”

“I do, Greyson. But I would like you to hold off on that for a few days. Once we finish with the One-on-Ones, we’ll spend time on ways to resolve our personal situations. Finding someone from your past is most assuredly a part of that process.”

“Oh—okay—that’s good to know. And I really do want to thank you for all you did for me this afternoon. I’m beginning to see so many things much more clearly. I don’t know how I can ever thank you enough.”

“Just learn to be your real—and best—self. That’s what this program is all about. Find the man you hid away so many years ago, and that’s all the thanks I could ever wish for.”

I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel the tears coming again. “Jesus, Francesca! Do the tears ever stop?”

“To be honest—not if you’re doing this right. You have a lot of pent-up emotions and feelings inside you. As you let go of them, tears usually come with the process. Think of the tears as a cleansing of the parts of your being that you are exposing. And just so you know, when you complete this program, you are going to be so much more in touch with your emotions that you will find yourself getting tearful at things you never even considered before. But when that happens, you’ll know in your heart that you’re on the correct path in your life.”

“Okay. I guess I need to stock up on more tissue then!” That brought smiles to the three of us, and Francesca suggested that we go ahead and go to dinner. She said she had a feeling that Lucas and I had a lot to talk about tonight.

When we left the room, Lucas turned to me and suggested that we do room service again. “Your suite or mine?”

“Lucas, we are going to mine—it’s much nicer than yours.”

“It’s not that much nicer—just a little, maybe. But—I think I’m going to my suite first and get a change of clothes—just in case—no pressure.”

I smiled and told Lucas that I was hoping he would stay the night with me again. I told him that I would order dinner while he got his stuff from his suite.

As I got off of the elevator, I smiled to myself when I heard Lucas tell me that he would be down soon—as the doors closed. I could hardly catch my breath as I made my way to my suite. I didn’t know what was going to happen tonight, but I had a feeling this might be a night I won’t soon forget. Is it possible to be equally excited and scared? As of now, I’m pretty sure it is.

Holy shit! Lucas knocked on my door about forty-five minutes later. I opened it and was utterly stunned by what stood in front of me. Now—Lucas has always had a look about him that took my breath away. But—wow—Lucas had a look in his eyes that was—I don’t know—smoldering? His luscious, full lips were barely turned upward into a smile that nearly left me breathless. He was wearing a skin-tight black v-neck tee and jeans that appeared to have been spray-painted on.

I was still in my clothes from the day at Epic Life and was feeling considerably underdressed.

“Wow. Lucas—you look—whoa. I need to shower and clean up. I already ordered room service, so if they show up while I’m gone, can you let them into the suite?”

“Of course, Grey. Don’t worry about a thing.”

I walked back into the bedroom and shook my head. There are a million-and-one things to worry about—like, will my cock ever go down after seeing how stunning Lucas looked when I opened the door? Do I want Lucas to remember my confession that I wanted to do things with Rafe? Will he want me to want to do something with him? Should I stroke off a load in the shower?

Well, after throwing one of the most substantial loads I’ve ever experienced down the shower drain, I can say the answer to all my worries is yes—a profound yes. As I was in the middle of that orgasm, I knew I wanted to explore my sexuality with Lucas. Only one problem—how the fuck does a straight—okay, straightish—man initiate something like that? Oh well—I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there, right?

I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom. I finished shaving and tried to figure out what Lucas saw in me. I mean, I know I’m in good shape with all the time I spend with my trainer. There’s a decent amount of definition, but fuck me! Lucas looks like his body has been chiseled in marble by fucking Michaelangelo! Wow—I guess that was a rather gay thing to think!

And there goes my cock again! For some reason, I began thinking about how I wanted to run my fingers over each cut of his abs. I thought about kissing Lucas’s pecs and nibbling on his nipples.

Well fuck! I had to stroke off yet another load into the toilet. Once I cleaned up, I went into my bedroom. I didn’t have anything to wear that anywhere close to the sex appeal of Lucas’s outfit. Oh well, I put on a pair of jeans (commando) and a loose-fitting white tank top—no shoes. I decided to go for a sexy casual look and hope for the best!

God help me! Going commando meant my slightly aroused cock was visible, snaking down the left side of my jeans. Of course, when I walked out of the bedroom, I noticed Lucas staring right at my crotch. At least he smiled as he told me I looked great! Why the fuck did I start blushing like a teenager on his first date?

Room service had arrived while I was cleaning up. Lucas set everything out on the table, and we sat, enjoying a wonderful dinner of stuffed pork tenderloin with an apple-cranberry sauce, asparagus, smashed potatoes, and a delicious pinot noir.

While we were eating, Lucas asked me about my One-on-One experience. “So—what do you feel about your afternoon with Francesca?”

“It’s weird. I was expecting Francesca to be brutal. But it was more than that—she was brutally thorough. I felt like an onion. She just kept peeling away layer after layer. But all in all, it was an eye-opening experience. I can see things much more clearly than before.”

“No regrets?”

I finished the last of my wine and answered, “None whatsoever. If anything—I have a much clearer notion of what I need to do next.”

“Care to share?”

“Be careful what you ask for, Lucas.” I smiled and—wait a minute! Did I fucking wink at Lucas?

I guess I did because he took in a sharp breath and smiled back.

“Do you remember what I ended up saying about what I wanted with Rafe?”

“That you wanted to kiss him?”

“Yes.”

“That you wanted to do things with him?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“Will you teach me, Lucas? Will you show me what I apparently want—and need?”

Lucas’s eyes opened wide, and he exhaled at breathy “fuuuuuck!” as he stood up. He reached his hand to me, and I took it.

We stood, facing each other and looking into each other’s eyes—something we already have mastered. Only this time, I was finding it difficult to breathe.

Lucas cupped my face in the palm of his hand. “I need you to know something. I’m probably just as nervous as you, Grey. I haven’t had any type of meaningful, intimate contact with anyone since Erik died. I know you have that feeling in your stomach that’s making you crazy. I have it, too. I just want you to know that no matter what happens here, I will be forever grateful to Greyson Myers for opening my heart once again.”

Whoa! I couldn’t think of anything to say to that! So—I did the only thing that seemed natural at the moment. I closed the space between us and kissed Lucas. Nothing more than pressing my lips to his and savoring the near-electric sensation that came from the connection.

“Is this what you want, Grey? I don’t want you to feel any pressure.”

Damn. I still couldn’t speak! I slowly nodded my head to let him know I was doing exactly what I wanted—no—needed.

He smiled that hot-as-fuck smile and cupped my head in his strong hands. He pulled my face to him and kissed me with an intensity I have never experienced in my life. I couldn’t believe how right it felt. I opened my mouth, pushing my tongue against Lucas’s lower lip. He opened and let me into his mouth.

Once our tongues began their erotic dance, I let go of a moan that must have originated from my toes.

Lucas broke the kiss and peeled off his t-shirt. I did the same with my tank top, and like magnets, our bodies pressed together as we began kissing once again. I couldn’t stop moaning—and my cock couldn’t stop responding. I was in pain.

I broke the kiss, panting so hard it was difficult to talk. But managed to huff, “Lucas, will you take me to bed and show me what I’ve been missing all these years?”

“Of course, Grey. Anything you want.” Okay—he was panting as hard as I was.

Lucas took my hand and led me into the bedroom. We stood at the side of the bed when Lucas wrapped his arms around me. “Are you sure, Grey? Is this what you want?”

“Today, I realized I’d wanted this for sixteen years. I’m so happy that I get to find it with you, Lucas.” I kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “Be patient with me, okay? I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”

“I may not be 100% correct, but I would say do what you feel like doing and know that you have nothing to be afraid of.”

I kissed Lucas once again and then reached for the waist of my pants. As I started pulling them down, Lucas stopped me. “May I? Would you be okay if I did that for you?”

I let my hands drop to my side and looked into Lucas’s eyes. He began kissing the side of my neck as I felt him undo the button of my jeans. My breathing froze as I noticed Lucas kneeling as he lowered the zipper.

Once he was on his knees, I felt Lucas’s hands reach behind and slip them over my ass. Jesus! Was Lucas the first person to touch my ass? You’d think so the way my skin suddenly felt two sizes too small.

I felt Lucas’s hands moving down my legs as my jeans were lowered. At first, I was a bit embarrassed, having gone commando, but those feelings were gone as my hard cock was freed. It literally slapped Lucas in the face. Before I could apologize, Lucas gasped and said that I had the most beautiful cock he had ever seen. He helped me out of my jeans and then wrapped a hand around the base.

“May I?”

“Please, Lucas. Please!”

The deepest moan I’ve ever made met with the warmth of Lucas’s mouth as it surrounded my cock. I don’t know how I was able to stay standing as my legs began to tremble.

Lucas pulled his mouth away and looked up at me with those eyes—those fucking beautiful eyes. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

“Jesus, Lucas. I’ve never been more okay in my life. Please don’t stop!”

Lucas smiled and didn’t stop looking at me as he opened his mouth and took my entire eight inches into his throat. I gasped and placed my hands on Lucas’s head, wrapping his blond curls in my fingers.

When he moaned with my cock deep in his throat, I thought I was going to blast right then! “Lucas! I’m—I’m not going to last long!” Did you know you can smile with a cock in your mouth? Lucas can!

The next thing I knew, Lucas placed a hand on my hip and guided me in and out of his mouth. “Fuuuuuuck! So good, so fucking good!”

I was fucking Lucas’s mouth, and before I was ready for it to end, I felt that feeling. I was going to cum in mere seconds. I warned Lucas that I was about to blow, but he didn’t pull away. No—he only increased the pressure on my cock.

I yelled something out at the top of my lungs—I couldn’t tell you what it was—but my entire body was on fire as I experienced the most intense orgasm of my life.

I remember my cock falling out of Lucas’s mouth once my heart started to beat again. I’m glad the bed was behind me because I found myself in a freefall backward.

My eyes were closed, my breathing was still hard, and I felt the mattress move as Lucas crawled onto the bed next to me. “How was that?”

I couldn’t even turn my head to face Lucas, but I managed to mumble, “Fuuuuck! What just happened? I—I—never felt anything like that in my life.”

“So, you’re okay?”

“So much more than okay.” I managed to turn my head and looked at Lucas. He had the most beautiful smile on his face. I think I had one, too.

I pulled Lucas to me for a kiss. I could taste a hint of my cum on his tongue—and that only made the kiss more intense.

I moved my hands down to find Lucas’s skin-tight jeans where I didn’t want them—on his body! “Someone is a bit overdressed for this bed, wouldn’t you say?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have worn skinny jeans tonight!”

“That’s exactly what you should have worn. You look so fucking hot tonight.” I lightly kissed Lucas and asked if he needed help getting out of those jeans.

“That’s okay. I got it.”

I probably shouldn’t have laughed as I watched Lucas struggle to take off his jeans. By the time he got out of them, he was laughing his ass off with me.

LUCAS

I shouldn’t have worn those damned jeans! Sure, they make my ass look hot. Yes, they show off my cock when it starts to fill out. But they sure can ruin the mood when you’re trying to get naked so you can have fun with one of the hottest men you’ve ever met!

I’ve never given anyone his first blowjob before. Surely, Greyson has had them—I mean, he was married. But I’m fairly confident that he has never had a mind-blowing blowjob before.

Now, I’ve given plenty of blowjobs to many men over the years, and I’m confident that I know my way around a cock. But I’ve never had a man react to a blowjob the way Greyson Myers did!

The sounds he made—the moans and gasps—I’ve never heard anything that intense from anyone. It was as if I could feel his entire body vibrate through his cock.

Oh, and that cock! From the way it would go deep into my throat, I figure him to be at least twenty centimeters—that would be at least eight inches to you Americans out there. It was nice and thick, but not so thick that it was difficult to take down my throat. It’s cut, too—I don’t see that very often in Europe.

I nearly shot my load when he started to fuck my face. Now, I like a good face-fucking, but most guys just pound away to get off as fast as possible. With Grey, however, it was as if he was savoring every sensation surrounding his gorgeous cock. He took his time, and I was able to perform some oral magic as he moved in and out of my mouth.

When he approached his orgasm, Grey tried to pull out of my mouth. I have a feeling his wife never let him shoot in her mouth. Not me! When he shouted that he was close, I grabbed his flexing ass and made sure I didn’t miss one drop of his load.

Holy shit! Grey yelled something at the top of his lungs when he started shooting. Many hotel guests around his suite—on multiple floors—now know that Greyson Myers just had what may very well be the best orgasm of his life!

I finally made it back into the bed and found myself lying face-to-face with Grey. We wrapped our arms around each other and kissed—deeply and sensuously. Our bodies—and cocks—pressed against each other.

“I can’t believe I’m hard again. It’s like I get to be a seventeen-year-old virgin again.”

“I’m not complaining. So it was good for you?”

“Jesus, Lucas—I have never had a blowjob or an orgasm like that in my life. I mean—I would occasionally get one from Elizabeth. But she would never swallow my cum and could hardly get a third of my cock in her mouth. I never complained because I didn’t know it could be better than that. I feel like I’ve been robbed all those years.” At least he giggled when he said she sucked—and her blowjobs were terrible, too.

We kissed again. Only this time, we began rubbing our cocks against each other. I started breathing heavier and told Grey if we kept that up, I was going to shoot my load between us.

I was surprised when Grey pulled away and told me to lie back. He kissed me lightly and began exploring my body with his fingertips (they tingled) and his mouth (his lips were like electricity).

When he kissed and licked my nipples, I thought I was going to levitate off the bed. He explored every ridge and crevice of my abs with his fingers and tongue. When Grey found a pool of my precum sitting just above my navel, he scooped some up with a finger, smelled it, then tasted it.

“That actually tastes pretty good. Hmmm.”

Grey had said he felt like a seventeen-year-old virgin, and I wasn’t about to pressure him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable doing. But I have to say I was more than a little surprised when he slid down the bed and wrapped a hand around my cock.

I’m not nearly the size of Greyson Myers, but I do have a very good fifteen centimeters (six inches) or so. I don’t know why I was feeling inadequate as I watched Grey furrow his brow and tilt his head as he looked at my cock.

Then it all made sense. “You’re not circumcised. What do I do with the extra skin?”

Whew! I half-giggled when I said, “Well, I would normally tell someone to do what they normally do with any cock—but that’s not very good advice for you, now is it?”

Grey blushed and smiled at me—waiting for instructions. “All you have to do is pull the skin back—slowly at first since I have an ultra-sensitive head.”

He pulled the foreskin away from the head of my cock, and Grey’s eyes widened. “Jesus, Lucas! You’re a precum factory! May I?”

“Whatever you’re comfortable doing, Gre—” I didn’t even get his name out of my mouth before I gasped. Grey’s tongue swirled around the top of my cock—lapping up the precum as fast as it leaked out.

When I felt the glorious warmth of Grey’s mouth surround my cock, my brain went out of control. “Scheisse! Scheisse! Oh! Oh! Verdammt! Scheisse!”

Grey pulled off and smiled as he looked at me. “Are you seriously going to swear in German? That doesn’t encourage me at all!”

Of course, I giggled and smiled back. “Grey—have you been lying to me? Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“I’m pretty sure I would have remembered having a dick in my mouth—which, by the way, is pretty much rocking my world right now.”

“Wow. You’re amazing, Grey!”

“Oh, and just to save time—I fully intend to swallow every drop of your load. I will never give you an Elizabeth Cross blowjob!”

Greyson Myers did not give me an Elizabeth Cross blowjob. As he explored and learned the many different things he could do with his mouth, I received a magnificent blowjob from this amazing man.

He took me places I hadn’t been in years. I was writhing and whimpering beneath him. For the rest of my life, I will never forget the look on Grey’s face when I fired shot after shot of my hot cum into his mouth. I have to hand it to him, though. Grey swallowed all but the few drops that leaked out of the corner of his mouth.

Grey let my cock slip out of his mouth. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand and smiled, “Was it okay?”

“Oh, my God! Grey—you had me feeling things I hadn’t felt in years. That was easily the most amazing oral sex I’ve ever had. How did you do that?”

“I had the best teacher. I just kept trying to remember what you had done with me and did my best to do it for you.”

“Well, well, well! You just earned an A+, extra credit, and the title of teacher’s pet!”

We giggled, kissed, and finally made our way to the bathroom to pee and brush our teeth. We crawled back into the bed and fell back asleep in each other’s arms.

GREYSON

Well, it’s official—I like dick. Well, to be more precise, I like Lucas’s dick. And—if I’m going to be honest with myself—I probably like his dick because I like him so much.

We spent the next three days listening to One-on-One sessions from others in the group. Our walls were coming down more and more each day. We were learning so much from everyone in the group.

Finally—Friday morning—“Lucas Bachman—are you ready? Why don’t you come on up for your One-on-One?”