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- 01/09/2021
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- 15 Comments
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
Dear, Grocery Shoppers - 5. Can Our Vast Illness Die?...Nineteen
Alright. It's here. Buckle up. The big topic you've been itching for.
COVID-19. The Coronavirus. The big disease herself. Rona. Also, do you get the title now?
Ooooh, ain't she a bitch. She's impacted humanity's way of life in ways we haven't seen in a century. Masks, hand sanitizers, hazmat suits, gloves, and a whole lot of TP. Remember when I said when I was going to make fun of things that may turn some heads. As our favorite animated plumber says, “Let's-a-go!”
Thousands of people have died to COVID-19, and that number will climb. A vaccine is being manufactured, and many don't have access. Countless people are afflicted, but aren't aware. This is a scary time to be alive.
"We live in an unprecedented time." Oh, go fuck yourself! Unprecedented? Are you ignorant? Have you ever opened a history book? This. Has. Happened. Before! Spanish Flu. The Black Death. Polio. The Black Death, again! We wore masks and faced an invisible threat then, and we face one now. To quote my favorite TV show, "Figure it out!" and, "Pitter patter, let's get at 'er!"
Retail environments have been no safe haven from Rona's chaos. Even with masks and other protocols, such as social-distancing, flocks of citizens have bombarded these stores for necessary supplies to outfit their families. But in this time of the pandemic, many folks are feeling mentally fatigued from self-quarantining, social-distancing, and doing their best to stay away from the public. They want their normal lives back, and I'll join them in that desire.
But when we look back at previous pandemic events, they can take several years to pass. It is with these safety tactics and equipment that keep our neighbors safe. It can be hard to keep your mental control on doing an unwanted task or process. But...it needs to be done.
So when I watch person after family after group walk in my store with no mask on, I get frustrated. I dislike wearing masks as much as the next guy, but I've made the best of it! My husband and I have a lot of masks. A lot. Different colors, patterns, textures. We've turned it into a fashion statement. I mean, Hell...our kerchiefs in our wedding suits were folded up masks that matched our bow ties! We have made it fun!
By not wearing a mask, or some sort of face covering, you may be exposing others to illness. So, let's make this simple and short on ourselves, and get this virus knocked out. Wear the mask, stay away from others, and stay inside.
Whew! Got that out and in the open. Now onto the fun stuff. I hate people who won't listen to reason. But I also love them so much! Love, love, love! While I was Christmas shopping, I went to our neighborhood shopping mall. I'm sorry...large building with six shops and plenty of established real estate. As I was waiting in line to properly enter the small candle shop, a lady was standing in front of me with no mask on. I don't normally think much of people with no masks, but this lady gets my official medal of ridiculousness.
She is invited to come in, but is asked if she owns a mask, or would like a disposable by a store employee. The lady, boastfully mind you, declines. To both options. And she...marches on in. The employee and I share a look of concern, but I roll my eyes comically, which earned me a hefty giggle from the young lady.
Now, I have found out that this is a rather large problem, especially in our little area of Kentucky, and, I'm certain, plenty of other places throughout our nation. Whether it be people who have strong beliefs that need to be manifested by words, or people who just don't care, there is one thing in common in the eyes of retail corporations: they're customers. And the dollar signs have slowed their pace since April and May when everyone adopted a hoarder mindset. Retailers are struggling to make up for their loss of projected revenue from the holidays, as sales weren't the best.
I can not tell you the last time I remember seeing someone in our grocery store's lobby sanitizing carts, counting people as they enter our store for capacity reasons, or just simply giving a damn about masks and social distancing guidelines. Our management certainly have lost their give-a-damn, as they're the only ones in our store who are allowed to tell non-mask wearing people to get lost. Recently in the past month, our store has seen an uptick in employee COVID-19 cases, and it has now affected our stock crew.
Let me put something in perspective with stock crews, if it wasn't made clear in my last entry. Stock crews often regard each other as family. We work closely with one another. And a lot of workers are turned off by the idea of working the overnight shift. Can you see the issue? No? If one of us gets it, another will. And another. And another. Until the stock crew is wiped out. And no one will be here to stock the shelves, because no other workers like working the third shift.
Anyone can hop on a register. Anyone can assist shoppers. Anyone can slice deli meat. But no one...can stock shelves like a stock crew member! We are trained to go. And I mean go! Just this evening (01/06), I was supposed to stock four and a half hours worth of product (which we are supposed to stock fifty-five cases an hour, roughly). I did it in three and a half hours. We are trained to go fast, period.
So a normal night for our crew is a thirty-five hour truck, spread across twelve aisles. Our store has a crew of ten or twelve people. If our crew goes below eight people, we are in deep shit, because we still need a minimum of one day off a week. Other than about three weeks of having two days off in that same week, I can safely, and without a doubt, say that I've worked six day, forty-eight hour minimum work weeks since the middle of March 2020. This, for a grocery store, a unionized grocery store, is both bonkers and bananas! There are so many policies and protocols in place to prevent this. But good old Rona, she's the ultimate loophole finder.
I have seen our shelves bare. That sentence shouldn't be allowed to come out of my mouth. My grocery store chain prides itself on making sure all items are in stock. When this apocalypse first started, I couldn't even help a mother of three find a singular can of Spaghetti-O's. We had people coming out of their houses just to see the damage, ya know, like when a tornado comes barreling through a town. We weren't concerned with masks then.
But, *adjusts an imaginary bow-tie* as a GA residential conspiracy theorist, I do have a slightly comical, but yet one hundred percent foolproof solution that I will suggest. And I am expecting a lot of comments. So...here is my solution to solve the COVID-19 Coronavirus problem that is running rampant in our country. Okay, are ya ready?
Total, and unadulterated, unfiltered, and unexcused lockdown! I'm talking Martial Law, complete rationing of food for every household, and all bills put on hold. More comical mandates for this lockdown include one Monopoly board game issued per household, one pack of playing cards, and a tin can-on-a-string telephone system in every neighborhood. Now...I know what you're thinkin'. 'Aaron...how much wine have you had?' Not a drop! Allow me to break it down.
A state's military takes control of all major living standard operations: grocery rationing for households, who have sent in via mail or electronically their household's body count and allergies to foods, and proper door-to-door checkups on living situations. All bills, whether it be rent, mortgages, vehicular, student loan, general debt, Internet, cellular, or anything that regularly takes money out of your pocket is halted! No income from jobs means no spending. This, of course, also applies to corporations and countries as well. Literally, the only humans allowed to leave their homes and go to work are police, firemen, EMTs, and other emergency workers. And I don't mean your local boutique owner waving a kerchief in the air yelling, "I sell soaps, I'm an essential business!" Electricians, truck drivers, mechanics, and other professions who fix household necessities (HVAC, for example) are to be working on an on-call basis. All of this is to remain in place for one, maybe two, months. If this doesn’t kill Rona, then I’ll eat my mask!
There are going to be some flaws and other minute details needed in this plan. But I'm a grocery store worker. What do you want from me? Leave that to our politicians.This is just my opinion, and, to me, a solid solution. Instead of governors and other politicians making mandates that can easily be ignored, this will put a sense of seriousness in the hearts of citizens. It maaaaay seem like a rather...edgy course of action, but I never had time for people who can't see the bigger picture over their personal beliefs.
I consider myself a Christian-minded person. I was raised Catholic, but I haven't been to church in a very long time. Going to church every week seemed like a waste of my time, personally. Why sit on a wooden bench when I could have had my lawn mowed? Many of the beliefs I was taught have been embedded within my head. I know I am watched over, and I think that my praised entity would be rather okay with us staying home for the sake of ridding the world of this awful plague.
Too opinionated and away from the topic? Pfft, alright. My point is Rona is one serious Karen and she gotta go! She has slapped her leopard print purse on the counter, asked for the CEO of the company, and will not leave until she gets him/her and a Diet Coke. She has inflicted fear and annoyance into the hearts of our planet, and will not back down! Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to grab her by pixie cut, chuck her to the curb, and remind her how powerful the human race is!
It isn't often that I'm scared. I've lived through a tornado wrecking my parents' home when I was young. Hell, just last week when I was staying in a hotel, police stormed a room on my floor with assault rifles and flak jackets (please see my status update on my profile for the full story)! COVID-19 is the scariest thing in my lifetime, and probably will be while I inhabit this world. Countless customers walk on my aisle, cough profusely near me, and just don't care. There are times where I need to remind myself that my mask will help me, but sometimes those thoughts get lost in the moment. I look back on the customers that asked me where the spaghetti sauce is, when there are four signs above my aisle saying 'spaghetti sauce,' and I wish I could have those morons back in my life.
From a grocery worker's point of view, all I can recommend to prevent yourselves from entering your local grocery, is to take advantage of certain options, like curbside pick-up or delivery. If those aren't available, then stock the fuck up! Become a hoarder. Grab that TP, and a month's supply of dry goods, and only go back in for perishables such as produce, bread, and milk so you can get in and get out as soon as possible.
I have had the good fortune of not losing anyone in my life to COVID-19, but several of my friends have tested positive. My personal thoughts and prayers go out to those who have been afflicted, and have lost friends and family to this terrible virus. I may be a human full of evil jokes and just maniacal thought processes, but this is one of the few moments where I have found myself to be serious. Jeez, I haven't been this serious since I spoke my vows to Noah!
Before I sign off here, if anyone wishes to air out any political, religious, or any dramatic views on this topic, I highly recommend taking it to The Pit under the Clubs tab. That is the proper place for any finger pointing that this entry may have caused, but I will happily take general feedback in the comment section, as long as it complies with the site guidelines. Hope y'all stay safe out there...in your homes.
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Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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