System of a Wolf - 31. Chapter 31

NO NO NO, This can't be the end, there's just so much more that needs to be told, PLEASE let this just be a cliffhanger !!!!!

I echo @1brokNangel this can't be the end. There seems so much more to the story of Blake, Adam and Erith to be told.

Very well done for a speed writing contest.  Sad it’s the end, but very enjoyable reading.

Honestly? I'm just disappointed. In the beginning I was hooked on the concept, I'm autistic and the idea of exploring D.I.D. in a story where they weren't vilified or pitied for it was super interesting. The first few chapters had the spark of something unique and good, but it just went nowhere. Blake's autistic traits and routines were phased out, and Erith's system and how he copes with it felt more like a plot device for drama rather than a realistic portrayal. Erith and Blake's... romance? Was both rushed and drawn out. The legitimate conversations about coping with their trauma and disorders and the impact that would have on their relationship was SO interesting. It felt so good to see frank discussions of stuff like that because that's something I can relate to, only for that to take a back seat. The hospital interlude was 100% pointless except to give points to Adam for.... not leaving Erith to be tortured to death?

Adam as a whole is just... such a shitty character. He's introduced as a child rapist going after his victim... and never evolves past that point. His only goal, his only motivation, is wanting to get his victim back. At no point did he ever come off as anything but a selfish child rapist, but the narrative seems to treat him as reformed and nice. He only got therapy after he was caught. After that, he IMMEDIATLY chased after his victim, kidnapped the victim's friend/love interest to stop him from interfering, and acts like a dick when people are rightfully wary of him.

Dr Martin is supposed to be Blakes guardian I guess, and seems to have no objections to Blakes childhood rapist wanting to come back into his life. Blake seems to have no suspicions of literal strangers saying "Hey I'm your rapist's friend, put on this blindfold and get in my car". The whole plot there is so messy, and actively disgusting. Adam's every action shows he has not changed a bit, and is only saying things to gain Blake's trust. The whole thing took an interesting story and ruined it. We didn't get an exploration of Blake's trauma, or forgiveness, or change, or accountability. We got a love story about a child rapist getting their victim back, and only one person objecting. Everyone became eithrr faceless "friends" or completely differnt characters to fit this plot. It reads as so sympathetic to pedophiles in a way I know is unintentional, but the sloppiness of it means any actual analysis of it comes off as far more caring about Adam's wants than Erith's feelings. They should not be on the samelevel.

Honestly ALL my complaints lead back to Adam. Why you thought having Blake fall in love with his childhood rapist was a good idea to push the story's focus to is beyond me. I really liked the first half, the second half is a sloppy shitshow that delivered on nothing and upsets me at killing the potential of the first half. The rough prose, the pacing issues, the lack of detail, all overlooked. I liked it, a LOT. I looked past the superficial flaws. I shouldnt have, and getting invested in these characters, their lives, their stories, was a mistake. I would give the first half a 4.5 out 5, but I cant in good faith recommend This story to anyone.

I gotta say for me this story was about Erith more than about Blake. 
And about Erith’s journey finding out who was in his head and dealing with a lot of stuff.

I feel like it’s far from over but he went a long way and I’m happy for him. I want to see the rest of his journey.
 

And I will say that I don’t like Adam at all. But I respect him. For being able to resist the mate bond for so long and avoid sex (as I saw other wolves fail the same despite good intentions).

Although the fact he wasn’t able to resist that same pull before, when Blake was a kid - that is something that makes me despise him. 

I don’t think he is a pedophile in the usual sense. There’s no mention of him being attracted to children as such. The years of therapy just helped him control his wolf I am guessing? But I still despise him for doing what he did and not saving his mate. If he felt the bond he should have protected Blake. Maybe he was just a coward who knows? 

I understand what he does for Erith doesn’t give him any extra points as it’s the same bond working - he can’t hurt his mate or see him hurt so he accepts the elf as part of the deal. So maybe it’s a way for him to try to make up for what he should have done all those years ago but didn’t? 

And for the same reason he is willing to save Erith from the weird hospital. Because the hurt Erith’s death would cause Blake would be unbearable for him too. 

I’m curious about one thing though - Varen held Erith’s memories of abuse and his sexuality - now Varen is gone and the sexuality is back - what about the memories? Because those are definitely something Erith needs to deal with too.

4 hours ago, IkeNeko said:

I gotta say for me this story was about Erith more than about Blake. 
And about Erith’s journey finding out who was in his head and dealing with a lot of stuff.

I feel like it’s far from over but he went a long way and I’m happy for him. I want to see the rest of his journey.
 

And I will say that I don’t like Adam at all. But I respect him. For being able to resist the mate bond for so long and avoid sex (as I saw other wolves fail the same despite good intentions).

Although the fact he wasn’t able to resist that same pull before, when Blake was a kid - that is something that makes me despise him. 

I don’t think he is a pedophile in the usual sense. There’s no mention of him being attracted to children as such. The years of therapy just helped him control his wolf I am guessing? But I still despise him for doing what he did and not saving his mate. If he felt the bond he should have protected Blake. Maybe he was just a coward who knows? 

I understand what he does for Erith doesn’t give him any extra points as it’s the same bond working - he can’t hurt his mate or see him hurt so he accepts the elf as part of the deal. So maybe it’s a way for him to try to make up for what he should have done all those years ago but didn’t? 

And for the same reason he is willing to save Erith from the weird hospital. Because the hurt Erith’s death would cause Blake would be unbearable for him too. 

 

I’m curious about one thing though - Varen held Erith’s memories of abuse and his sexuality - now Varen is gone and the sexuality is back - what about the memories? Because those are definitely something Erith needs to deal with too.

This story was never supposed to have a traditionally happy ending, and that's because of Adam. He's not supposed to be a character anyone could relate to, he's supposed to show that even this world has its struggles with laws that do more harm than good.

Regarding Erith and Varen, it's shown occasionally that Varen fronted when Erith was reminded of certain triggers, largely having to do with his trauma as a child. Those memories are not going to come rushing back, but it's possible that, as Varen is "dead", the memories might start returning when triggered instead of being locked away by Erith's alter.

3 hours ago, Yeoldebard said:

This story was never supposed to have a traditionally happy ending, and that's because of Adam. He's not supposed to be a character anyone could relate to, he's supposed to show that even this world has its struggles with laws that do more harm than good.

Regarding Erith and Varen, it's shown occasionally that Varen fronted when Erith was reminded of certain triggers, largely having to do with his trauma as a child. Those memories are not going to come rushing back, but it's possible that, as Varen is "dead", the memories might start returning when triggered instead of being locked away by Erith's alter.

I totally understand what you mean about the ending. But I feel it needs more background about werewolves and laws to be understood by people who didn’t read any other story of yours about werewolves.

Also I know it sounds bad, but in some way it’s the happiest ending we could get. I mean Erith is happy and Blake is happy. They are both being taken care of and both of them need it a lot.

And yes that’s what I meant about the memories. 

I was enjoying it a lot; I do think that it suffered from having been a speed writing towards the end - I don't think your style of writing lends itself in that direction. Left to your own pace the characters develop beautifully, and it's worth breaks in writing to get the story you want to tell. Adam certainly suffered (being introduced later in the story, he was likely to). No insult or comment on you intended - I couldn't speed write if my life depended on it.

All that said, I did enjoy it, especially the first half. Hurt/comfort/forgiveness and having initial assumptions challenged always appeal in a story. Thank you for writing!

It was a unique story. I do feel there was too much unexplained at the end. I feel like I'm lacking closure. It feels like when your reading an unfinished, timed essay, and the professor says "pencils down". I would have liked to understand Adam more. I think if there had been more depth than, "I was your mate & wanted to save you" it could have been more understandable. I can't say relatable since I'm a father and do not understand pedophilia, Norton I understand the inclusion of "minor attracted" people in the alphabet mafia (sorry but the LGBT community just keeps adding letters to the point it's ludicrous). My sister is Trans, I am Gay, we're both parents and neither of us will ever condone touching a minor. You can do anything you want with another able minded, consenting, adult. Animals and minors don't have the cognitive ability for informed consent. 

That being said, this is an alternate world where there's a carnal pull to another person, if the mate bond/attraction had been better portrayed, where it was shown that Adam was trying to save his mate and had no other option, instead of him saying he had a sickness, it would have been more relatableish. However it came across as "I liked to sleep with little boys, and just happened to come across as my mate. So I mated,turned, and abandoned him." 

I love your eloquent writing and creativity, but this was probably not a storyline to be rushed. 

3 hours ago, Bdamdifino said:

It was a unique story. I do feel there was too much unexplained at the end. I feel like I'm lacking closure. It feels like when your reading an unfinished, timed essay, and the professor says "pencils down". I would have liked to understand Adam more. I think if there had been more depth than, "I was your mate & wanted to save you" it could have been more understandable. I can't say relatable since I'm a father and do not understand pedophilia, Norton I understand the inclusion of "minor attracted" people in the alphabet mafia (sorry but the LGBT community just keeps adding letters to the point it's ludicrous). My sister is Trans, I am Gay, we're both parents and neither of us will ever condone touching a minor. You can do anything you want with another able minded, consenting, adult. Animals and minors don't have the cognitive ability for informed consent. 

 

That being said, this is an alternate world where there's a carnal pull to another person, if the mate bond/attraction had been better portrayed, where it was shown that Adam was trying to save his mate and had no other option, instead of him saying he had a sickness, it would have been more relatableish. However it came across as "I liked to sleep with little boys, and just happened to come across as my mate. So I mated,turned, and abandoned him." 

I love your eloquent writing and creativity, but this was probably not a storyline to be rushed. 

I agree. I wrote this story during a very chaotic NaNoWriMo (if I remember correctly, our car broke down and I had to hoof it three miles in the desert with a cold) and it definitely shows in the storyline. I'm probably not going to write on such a tight schedule again.

I think you have very creative and intriguing content. I just felt you did yourself a disservice on this one. Plus sick and in a hurry never bides well. I do love this entire Astara series & the necko's are quite inventive. I hope you know I wasn't trying to bash, but I appreciate your skill enough I couldn't let it sit.

4 hours ago, Bdamdifino said:

I think you have very creative and intriguing content. I just felt you did yourself a disservice on this one. Plus sick and in a hurry never bides well. I do love this entire Astara series & the necko's are quite inventive. I hope you know I wasn't trying to bash, but I appreciate your skill enough I couldn't let it sit.

Oh not at all. I understand this story didn't come out well and I appreciate your notes  I'm happy you're enjoying the rest of the series.