For Everything You Were - 14. Untangling the Web

Trevor pulled into a back street and switched off the engine to the van. I stepped out and sighed as I waited for him to lock it before we both walked down an alleyway. we got to the front of the building, which was Frank's Cafe, which sat along a busy road with traffic and people everywhere. I remembered being here a few times. "Hmm," I muttered.

Walking in, there was the familiar smell of bacon and eggs being cooked. The place was run down, and it had been a few years since I had been here. Not my choice, of course. Trevor chose the place, but I knew it, so it was an almost familiar setting to me.

Trevor gestured to a table to sit at with his hand, and I nodded, taking a seat.

"What are you having?"

"Hmm, not really hungry as you can imagine. I'll have a tea please with two sweeteners."

"No problem," replied Trevor, who wandered over to the counter to get the attention of the server here. I leant back in my chair and pulled out my phone, placing it on silent. So far, no calls, but I expected them to come. First, from Cody, I imagined, then mum, and maybe dad.

Trevor came back over moments later and sat opposite me. "You okay?"

"You want to start?"

Trevor sat back and slapped his hands on the table, puffing air through his lips.

"Where should I start?"

"The photo?" I replied, thinking that might be a good place. "My life right now Trevor is a thriller, horror, mystery and disaster movie. I don't think anything you say can shock me anymore after what I have found out."

"Well, erm…"

"Just say it how it is Trevor, I need the truth, and right now, I think you are the only person that can make sense of this utter fucking deception."

"Colin Jones had an affair with your mum around eighteen years ago."

"Something told me that was the case. How long did it last?"

"About five years," Trevor replied, dropping his head.

"WHAT?" I shouted out, making the chattery building go quiet. "Five years? Five fucking years? What the hel!? Does my dad know?"

"No, only I know as far as I understand. It was an on-off affair, and I never dared to tell your dad."

"Why not?"

"Jake, your dad has been working for me for many years. Well, not for me, but the secret service, and I didn't think it was my place to interfere in your parent's private life. I guess I didn't want to rock the boat. I know, that's a cop-out, but it's the truth."

"And the picture?" I asked as the waiter placed two cups on our table along with a pot, milk and biscuits.

"What about the picture?"

Did you take it?"

"Yes, and I was drunk. I don't even know why I kept it. I just had an old Polaroid at the time, and it was a warm Friday afternoon. Your mum had been having lunch in Granton park, and Colin and I were having an informal meeting in the same park. I'm not sure if they planned to meet or whether it was just a coincidence, but…."

"Hold on, hold on. What was Colin doing here?"

"Well, I can't tell you too much about that. But I can say that back then, he was working with our secret service and occasionally had to fly over for joint meetings. You gotta remember that back then, there was no Skype or anything like that."

"Yeah, I get it. So he never met my dad?"

"Oh no, your dad was in another office at the time. I don't recall their paths ever crossing until you all moved to America. But I got to know Colin, and that's why I thought it would be a good idea years later to put your dad on a similar collaboration job with the Americans, just as Colin had come over to the UK to work with our secret service."

"So this affair?"

Trevor poured some team into both our cups and offered me the milk first. I took it from him, managing a smile and blended in the liquid, making my tea the colour I liked.

"Jake, I…"

"Trevor, sorry to interrupt, but why did you contact me?"

Trevor thought for a moment and was about to speak but then didn't. He pondered for around ten seconds before fidgeting in his seat.

"Let me start by saying this. Your mum's the most precious and loving woman I have ever met. She is a good person. Troubled in her younger years, but a good honest decent…."

"Yeah, I get the picture; my mum is great, so what?"

Trevor sighed. "Your mum and dad, they erm… they had, shall we say, fertility issues when trying to have you, and Your mum found out that, well uh… well that she was actually fine and, well… it was your dad that had issues in that department."

"You mean he was firing blanks?"

"Uh-huh."

"So, how am I here then?"

"Well, your mum discussed it with me at a Christmas work party we held for all the guys at MI6, and your dad was dancing away from us. Your mum, uh... she was quite depressed at the time and was so scared of telling your dad what the situation was. So I guess you could say she poured her heart out to me that night."

I leant forward. "Trevor, you didn't answer my question. How am I here?"

"Well, while your mum and dad were having issues, that's when the affair started with Colin."

"Oh my fucking God, are you going to tell me that Colin fucking Jones is my father?"

Trevor cleared his throat. "Uh, no, Jake. I am."

My entire being felt like a wave of adrenaline had assaulted it as my body swayed slightly. It felt like a planet had hit me as those words Trevor uttered seeped into my consciousness.

"You're… you're my dad?"

Trevor just nodded slowly, taking a sip of his tea. "I erm… well I was never going to tell you, it just didn't seem right, but then I thought perhaps I might say something when you were eighteen. But I couldn't decide. But then, when I heard about all this happening to you, I had to step in."

"But… but the affair was with Colin. Are you sure you're my dad?"

"Yes, I had your mum do a DNA test with some of your blood sampled off your diabetic machine and a swab from me. But… but don't get me wrong, I was never going to reveal this to your dad, I just…."

"You were supposed to be my dad's boss and friend, and you impregnated my mother. What the fuck Trevor?"

"Please, Jake, you have to understand. It was a very personal situation. Your mum was desperate for children, and I said I would help."

"I don't want to know the disgusting details, Trevor; really, I don't."

"Anyway, the plan was that once your mum got pregnant, she would keep it a secret that I was the father."

"So my dad would think there was nothing wrong? Yeah, I get it."

"Uh-huh. But, at the time, it was a situation where that seemed logical. Obviously, now, it's a different story, a different era. But we were close friends back then, and in my head Jake, in my head, it almost felt like I was helping. Do you understand?"

"No, Trevor, not really," I scowled. "But it is what it is."

"So, look. I had to contact you. I know what's been going on, and for what it's worth, it stinks. Your mum and dad have wound a web to try and get you out of this so thick; it was never going to end well."

"I just want the truth, Trevor. Why was I arrested? Why is Colin hunting down Ethen? What the hell is going on."

Colin dug into his pocket and pulled out a flight ticket and piece of paper, pushing both over to me. I looked at him briefly before looking down at the items again.

"What's this?"

"On the paper is where Ethen is staying in Egypt. The other is a flight ticket for this Friday to Luxor."

"But… but why? Ethen is a criminal, and I can't go and be with him, surely."

"Jake, Ethen is not a criminal. Ethen IS a victim. Just like you."

"But he's a spy, right?"

Trevor looked around the cafe, ensuring my question was not overheard by anyone else. He seemed satisfied.

"Jake, Ethen is a seventeen-year-old boy with no education to speak of. Do you really think he's a spy?"

"But that's what the police apparently said."

"Jake, that stunt today? There was no police station. It was something your dad asked me to help stage. It was desperate and stupid, but I agreed before my conscience got hold of me, and I contacted you."

"What do you mean staged?"

"It was a ploy by your mum and dad to get you away from Ethen so that he would have to fly out, and you would miss that flight. Your parents, well, they were desperate for you not to leave. I think they want you to get a decent education."

"Hang on… you mean… you mean all that arresting stuff, going to that place, being questioned… you mean that was all a hoax?"

Trevor nodded, supping back the last drop of liquid from his cup. "All staged, I'm sorry. The building was an empty office block that we now own. The car and men were just friends of your dad and me."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't fucking take this in. My own parents have deceived me."

"Jake, don't think too badly of them. They just wanted you safe and at home… in school. Your mum is so worried about your condition because you don't look after yourself unless she monitors you. I think they were just desperate. And, well, your dad asked me if we could do this, and I am ashamed to say I agreed and sanctioned it."

"But… but Cody was informing the police, right?"

"He thought he was, but no. The conversation Cody was having was with a penpusher at MI6. The conversations meant and did nothing. Ethen is not in any trouble."

"So why is Colin hunting him down?"

Trevor leaned forward and looked around the room. "Because Colin, in truth, is being a dick. He thinks Ethen owes him after bringing him up after… hang on, do you know about this. Or it might freak you out."

"Oh God, what now?"

"That Colin is not Ethen's dad?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, that was another one my mum laid on me. So I'm assuming that is true?"

"Yeah, that's true, Jake. So Colin is a bit of a stubborn fool. He never used to be, but Ethen kind of cost Colin a lot of money, but it was always okay because Ethen would do things for Colin. Part of that now means he holds secrets… not to mention the allegedly stole money from Colin when he did his disappearing act to the UK."

"So he's not going to be arrested?"

"What for? Colin is just pissed because he can't control Ethen anymore. Once upon a time, Ethen would do anything, go anywhere, and that was the deal for those two after old man White kicked him out."

"Hang on… when you say do things for him, we're not talking sexually, here are we?"

"Oh God no, son. Not like that, I'm talking about being an informer. A personal informer for Colin. This has nothing to do with the CIA like Colin makes Ethen believe. In a nutshell, it's just a family quarrel. Colin feels Ethen should still obey him, and there is the small issue of Colin stating Ethen has stolen money. But from a law point of view, that money was in a joint bank account. The bulk was inheritance which is rightfully his. The only thing Colin can attest to is Ethen taking money from the home safe. But you could argue, as Ethen lived there, it's his money too."

"So...erm, wow, this is crazy. So what does Colin plan to do with him if he finds him?"

Trevor waved his hand at me. "Arrgh, he just wants to scare him with all this CIA bullshit and convince him to go back to America. It's all nonsense, Jake. I firmly believe the CIA doesn't give a shit what Colin has told Ethen, or… well whatever!"

"So, were we spied on?"

"Son, if you were, it was nothing to do with the CIA or MI6. Think about it. Your dad works for MI6 and has done for many years. He's been well vetted and looked into when he started all those years ago. So why on earth would any agency want to spy on your dad or your family?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, but I was told they were."

"Maybe Colin did, okay? Maybe he even sent Ethen to spy on you. All I know is that it was never sanctioned by the US or UK agencies, and that is the truth."

As I sat in Frank's Cafe, looking around at all the people eating away, not a care in the world, a moment of clarity hit me like an iron bar. All this was never about keeping Ethen and me apart; it was about two sets of controlling parents knocking up plans to keep their respective children on a path that met their expectations. It was all about Ethen and me getting too close and making our own choices in life. It really was that simple.

I drank the last of my tea and looked at Trevor. "We have the same eyes, you know."

Trevor smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"So what now?"

"Are you asking me as Trevor, your dad's boss and friend, or are you asking me as your dad?"

"My dad!" I said quickly, hoping saying it didn't shock me too much. But it seemed fine saying it, so I just smiled.

"Well, Jake. I want you to be with the person you fell in love with and do what your heart tells you. When you go home, there should be a message from Ethen on the phone he gave you, if you still have it?"

"I do."

"So you get on that plane on Friday, and you go live your life the way you want to live it. And soon, Colin will accept he has lost Ethen as a tool, and your folks will accept you are almost a man."

"Don't you want me to go to University or College?"

"Son, you're young. This is the time to enjoy your life if given that opportunity. So go live that life and do what you want to do. Don't be like me. Don't be that person who got a job in MI6 because it's what their parents forced them to do because that's what their dad did."

"Wait, your dad was in MI6?"

"He was yeah, and by God was he certain I would be too. Parents can be suffocating. I lost a girl I was so in love with, Jake. Grace, her name was, and I was head over heels for her. But we drifted because I was never home. Don't lose someone because your choices are being made for you.

"Wow… you know, for the first time, my head feels kind of clear. But I'm dreading going home and calling this out. Right now, Trevor, I don't know who my parents are?"

"They are the folks that love you more than you'll ever know. So don't be harsh on them. Sure, they went to some crazy lengths to steer your path, but they did it out of care and love, not malice. You have to accept that before you walk in that door."

I nodded. "I'm not angry. I'm actually feeling a little elated. I didn't think I'd feel that way after you dropping the dad bombshell on me and explaining about Colin.

"Hey, and not to mention the false police arrest?" Trevor grinned.

"But at least I know the truth now; that's all I have ever wanted. I can deal with the rest slowly, and I will be okay."

"Hey, Jake. Those people… your parents. They are your mum and dad, and they love you. Forgive them."

"And you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, I mean, you're my dad. Don't you feel hurt or something that I call Alan, my dad?"

"Son, I have watched you grow up in a safe, secure and loving environment. Of course, I don't see you that often, but that was the deal I made with your mum, and I'm at peace with that. You're a handsome young man, and I can still be proud of you from a distance. As long as I know you're okay and living your life; I'm happy to watch from afar."

"You're a nice guy Trevor, always have been, thank you. But I think I want to be in your life. You know, someone I can trust?"

"We can meet any time you want, but your dad? He can't know the truth, okay? It would kill him and do irreparable damage to your folk's relationship and marriage. Look, I shouldn't be saying all this to someone of your age, and I shouldn't expect you to keep secrets as big as this. But, for your family's sake. Don't reveal this to your dad."

I nodded, pursing my lips. "Understood."

"Good, now, go home and make sure those cases are packed."

"Then what? How do I explain what I know?"

"Son, you'll work it out. But as a good soul, be nice, be firm, and be brave. That ticket you're holding is the beginning of your true path: a path that you chose, no one else. Take the path. Go have fun with the guy you're in love with, and don't look back.

I looked at the plane ticket in my hand and stared at it for a moment, gathering my thoughts.

"Trevor, I am so in love."

"I know! C'mon, let's get you home."