Incandescence - 6. Stuck

So close. We were so close to home. I was near giddy. I could sleep in my own bed. I would be back with my family. I wouldn’t have to deal with Suman alone. I knew I wasn’t technically alone, but Rah and Loren weren’t much help. I sighed. Suman and I had not made much more progress when we’d spoken in the tent. Despite what had happened in the Dlethian court, Suman was hesitant to help us. Or anyone really. Everything was black and white in his world. That was the problem. My life had never been black and white. Nothing was simple. I envied that about him.

“Do you even have a plan once you get home or are you just planning to settle back into your cushy life?” Immediately on the defensive, I sat up, frowning at the man across the tent.

He wasn’t wrong. I didn’t have a plan. Getting the Council to declare war so soon after we had just regained our footing was a tall order. The new Dimian was still in its infancy and there was much that could be lost if we jumped headfirst into conflict when we weren’t ready. Not to mention the dukes still in the group who had remained. They followed rules solely to secure their fortune. How would I ever convince them to care about the citizens of a foreign country when they didn’t even care about their own? As I struggled to produce an answer, I studied him. Suman looked exhausted. His features were tight, smile barely held on his face through what must be sheer willpower. He hadn’t changed. The blood still covered his chest and his jaw still had dried crimson on it as well. He painted a sad picture. That didn’t mean I should let my guard down.

“I’m not positive what you think I can do right when I get home. These things take time, Suman. You were raised in court. You know how slow things move. There is an entire group of people we’d need to convince.”

“We? No, your grace, you. I never told you I would help.” Suman chuckled and I whipped a pillow across the tent. He deflected it easily, grin spreading.

“You expect me to move mountains under the assumption that you might help us. That’s not good enough. It’s not a fair trade. Furthermore, you have made yourself a threat. I have no reason to trust you. You’re irritating me. Explain why I must bend over backwards for you, while you sit back and ruffle feathers. With you acting like an imbecile, there’s no way the Council would even hear me out.”

He met the glare I was shooting him with a smile as he draped his arms over his knees. He leaned forward to rest his chin on his arms as he crossed them. His eyes closed and the smile stayed in place as he spoke, “It’s adorable that you believe you’re still going to be able to go through your beloved Council to get this done. No matter the reasoning, they’re not going to support another coup.”

“Then why do you keep beating this issue into the ground Suman? If you know there’s nothing to be done, why can’t you drop it?”

“I never said there was nothing to be done. I was simply saying that your precious government’s hands are tied. Their hands are. Yours are not.” He grinned, a little maniacally.

“What do you think?” A voice startled me. It took a moment to realize it’d been mine. Loren faced me as we rode along. A smirk grew on his face. I wished desperately that I could stuff my words back into my mouth. Turning to Loren? Was I the mad one?

“Be more specific, my stunning little duke. If you’re finally accepting my advances, we don’t have much time. We’ll reach the White City by this afternoon.” Loren smirked more then ducked as light slashed through he air where his head had been. My outburst drew two grey-eyed gazes in our direction. Rah and Suman were a ways ahead. I could see Rah sigh, pulling her grey and white hair up. Suman only smiled and looked forward again.

“I mean about Suman! He reminds me of you sometimes. You’re a prince too. Even though your manners make me forget that fact quite frequently.”

Loren laughed, glancing down at the reins in his hands, “I’m a bit hurt that you’ve been comparing me to another man again, Kalian. As if I don’t have it hard enough trying to stack up against your husband.”

I stared at him for another minute. Surely no one would be that upset if I decapitated him. He laughed again as I dragged a hand down my face, “Why did I think I could talk to you about this? You’re such an immature child. I have no idea how you’re older than me.”

Loren looked ahead of us, smile fading, “I never expected you’d really want my advice.”

The silence grew between us and his smile continued to fade until it was absent. His head hung now, hair falling forward to block my view of his face. Rah was looking at us again. No, she was looking at Loren. She looked impossibly sad and I wondered what she was seeing on his face that I couldn’t. Even if I could see him, I didn’t know that I’d be able to decipher his expression the way Lyrah did. They had a special bond. Loren was as much her brother as Talon was. He just lacked the shared blood.

“From what I’ve gathered, Suman has been alone his entire life. Victimized by those who should have protected him. Much like Talon and Rah.” Loren’s voice was soft and careful. The tone surprised me so much that any reply I came up with died before passing my lips.

“I suppose I’m in an equally terrible boat. My brothers didn’t have the guts to outright kill me but selling your sibling into slavery is the next best thing, I suppose. We all went through some of the same cruel treatment. The people holding the whips and location were just different. That’s all. I understand Suman’s need for revenge. I understand wanting to take back something that was stolen from you.” Loren’s chin tipped up and sunlight hit his strange eyes as they followed the clouds painting the blue sky above us. He let his eyes fall closed for a few brief seconds before they met mine again.

“You want to know what you should do about him? We’re not the same person. I don’t know that I have much insight, but he’s committed to one goal. We all know that. He has been with us for some time now. According to the last meeting, he was able to sneak into our most important city without any trouble. If he’s so gifted in stealth, why not just leave? I doubt Sumerion would hunt him down, and we don’t have the time. Suman is letting himself be ordered about.”

It was true. I hadn’t thought about it that way. He could fight, he was well-traveled, and he had resources no one had pinned down. It’d be simple for him to abscond without a second look back. He didn’t have to tolerate our treatment of him. He hadn’t officially been a prisoner when we’d brought him to Syrin, but Talon had never let him out of his sight. The bars of his cell weren’t physical, but we’d thrown him into one nonetheless. He was a threat. I’d said it a hundred times and we had treated him accordingly. Even before the Council meeting. Why? Why would he put up with the treatment? Why did he hide his fighting ability and Magik? Talon had claimed he’d exposed himself at the most opportune times, but I wasn’t so sure now.

He’d revealed his Magik to entertain our son. His fighting had come to light when he had killed soldiers-his own country’s soldiers-to save two children. We were so convinced that Suman was focused on the one goal, but what was really driving the man? He showed his hand at the strangest moments. Moments that hardly benefitted him at all. The meeting almost seemed the odd one out after everything else.

“He’s sad, Kalian. Underneath the flippant attitude, the smiling, and all his other defense mechanisms is a man who’s never had anyone fight for him. He had to learn early how to protect himself. He’s never had support or friends. That grates against the soul. Humans need other humans. Suman might not realize it, but it seems like he’s grown to crave that kind of connection. He doesn’t want to be alone again.”

Staring at Loren, I wondered if we weren’t talking about more than one person. He wasn’t paying me any attention anymore. I frowned. Loren and Rah had been together for a while before we had met them. Before that, how long was the man by himself? Neither he nor my sister-in-law spoke of their time alone much. I couldn’t imagine my life not being my own.

In the same vein, Talon had been a different man when we’d met. Angrier, lonely, more defensive, and so lost. His life hadn’t been his own either. He was a slave to the king and to Wren’s Verseckt. Suman may not have been a slave technically, but his life had never been his own. He’d survived only as a last insult to his father. He’d been a tool used to rub salt in a dead man’s wounds. Sumerion had promised to raise the prince to be someone, I was positive, this father would hate. There was so much pain twisted into all three lives. The need to protect himself had altered the person Talon was meant to be. Suman and Loren were the same, but their defense systems were a bit different. The masks. Everyone wore their own mask and it was only through the cracks in them that I’d grown to love Talon and consider Loren a friend. Perhaps, Suman wasn’t so different?

He could be kind. His interactions with children were proof of that. He had a sharp tongue, but he’d shown that he could soften it to comfort someone. He’d done it in my home. One moment, his words were a harsh jab at Amaris, the next they were gentle with a hurting Loren. At the same time, I had no doubt that-had I not defended myself-Suman wouldn’t have hesitated to kill me when we’d fought. My brain was struggling to piece together the puzzle of a man. Maybe it was impossible for me to do so? I had survived my share of suffering, but nothing like the people around me. In comparison, I’d had it easy. So easy.

“So, do you think he’ll help us?” I asked at last. I had no idea how long the silence had stretched between us while my brain scrambled itself.

“I can’t say. I’m not positive the man himself knows what he’s going to do. I think he’s torn. It’s hard to spend thirty years being a certain person, only to have a drastic personal shift. You can see it through the things he’s done. Part of him is clinging to who he thinks he is-who he forced himself to be-and the man he actually is underneath all the pain.”

“Since when are you smart and insightful?” It was unnerving. This serious and thoughtful Loren. He smiled sadly at me and tilted his head back again. His hair fell away from his handsome face.

“You’ve never given me the chance. I’ll have you know my pillow talk is incredibly philosophical. You’d be amazed at how deep I can get whilst horizontal, lord.”

“I hate you.” I rolled my eyes so hard that it added to the headache slowly thumping against my skull. Loren answered with a loud laugh and following smirk. Stupid comment aside, he’d changed my thinking. I was looking at everything wrong. There was no amount of scheming, bargaining, or force that would make Suman do something he didn’t want to. It was a horrendous family trait that I’d never be able to completely snuff out. It was passed down through the generations like an incredibly frustrating heirloom. I should know. Wyn was the latest one to receive it.

I had asked for advice to ease my worrying mind. Instead, I had so many more questions and far more anxiety. How could I figure out the mystery that was Prince Suman Verloren? How did the pieces he’d revealed so far fit together? I wasn’t making any progress and a tiny voice inside my head insisted I was running out of time.

*

We climbed through Syrin’s levels on foot now and my dread grew with every step. I wanted to simply sink into a bath and relax. Maybe spend the evening with my family. But, alas, duty called. Loren and Rah kept pace while Suman lagged. The former palace came into view and I began mentally listing what I needed to get done. That is, until a body collided with mine.

“Da!” I twisted, my arms wrapped around Wyn’s shoulders instinctively. He hugged me tight, lifting me a bit off the ground before I could protest. After much too long, he let me down. His eyes flicked from his aunt, to Loren, and lastly Suman.

“My classmates tried to say you wouldn't come back because you're a spy. I knew you would though!” Wyn rambled, smiling brightly.

“They sound pleasant. Spy? I'm not nearly that exciting.” Suman lifted a hand, reaching out to pat the boy's head. It was forcibly removed and my eyes fell on Talon standing behind the other man, gripping his wrist tightly.

“Don't touch.” Suman rolled his eyes dramatically for Wyn’s benefit and the boy scowled.

“Dad, uncle Suman is family! Let him go!”

“Uncle?” The word tasted awful in my mouth, “You have enough uncles Wyn. Suman is a stranger.”

That sentence was met with a glare and I found myself trapped in a silent standoff with my child. Lauren broke the awkward tension as he threw himself against Talon’s side, hand thrown over his forehead in ridiculous fashion.

His voice was over the top with fake hurt, “Oh, I remember when you still loved me. Now, I'm not even acknowledged. Talon, is this what it feels like when his affection is torn between you and Kalian?”

“Ha. Ha.” Talon said dryly.

“We have things to do Kalian.” Rah sighed, working her fingers through the ends of her two-toned hair.

“True and Wyn has studying to do.” Said boy stiffened and turn to look as Hanja approached us. Wyn groaned and nodded, rubbing his cheek.

“Yes, Master Chirurgie. I’ll start as soon as possible. Dad, can Suman come home with us too?” Wyn turned large, expectant eyes up at his other, unimpressed parent.

“No.” Talon wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders as he guided him away. He was totally unswayed by the preteen’s frown. He kissed my cheek as they passed but Wyn refused to stop pouting as they began the walk home. I frowned as he didn’t even give me a goodbye. Rude child.

“I assume your return brings forth more headaches. I'll call who I can together.” Hanja huffed.

It had only been a matter of days, but things felt wrong. The tension in the war room was heavy and, for once, I didn't think Suman was responsible. Eon sat in his normal spot. He had hardly moved or shown emotion as I filled the partial Council in. It reminded me of when we still lived at home and he was little more than a statue. Rah held Eira and Tyren kept frowning every time his eyes fell on the child. Hanja was irritated and it clearly showed. The dukes present were restless and unsettled. After a few minutes in, I realized that Wren wasn't here. Had he and Eon gotten into another argument? I needed to stop. It shouldn't matter to me. Gods knew I had more important things to worry about.

“While the genocide of Magic users is troubling, I cannot see a reason why we must be the ones to intervene.” Duke Fawcell said while frowning. I wish I were surprised, but the man had never hidden his priorities. It was always money. Everything else was a secondary issue to be left on a back burner until he had free time to deal with it. If he chose to deal with it at all.

“We've officially allied with a country murdering its own people. It's not a good look.” Loren stared at the duke, smile not reaching his eyes.

“It is a problem but it isn't our only one. Also, Dimian is... Fragile right now. A war could be disastrous.” Eon dragged his hand down his face, eyes suddenly very tired.

“So, we let them die?” I snapped. I was very conscious of the constant stare of a certain prince, “Fawcell said genocide and he's not wrong. They're wiping out entire villages!”

Fawcell scoffed, “A war is bad enough. This one sounds like it would result in refugees. The cost of that could be astronomical. I pay quite enough in taxes, thank you.”

“It wouldn't be taxes alone. The regions closest to the border would have to house and take care of these people. Also, potentially defend them.” Duke Keverin added.

“More importantly, the military isn't ready. Much of our soldiers are still green. Many of them were new recruits that joined after Anders tried to either convert or eliminate those that wouldn't join him. None of them have seen battle.” Eon’s hand made another pass over his face.

“How are we not able to do anything? Sumerion Is a murderer and a madman. How can we let this continue?” I hadn't sat when the meeting had started. Now, I gripped the edge of the table as I grew annoyed.

“The military budget is...substantial. Eon, you're saying with seven years and a frankly ridiculous amount of money, your men are still unprepared?” I blinked at the bite in Tyren’s voice. My normally easygoing teacher was tense, his posture rigid.

Everyone's attention fell on my brother as he started to speak very slowly. There was dangerous note to his voice, “I'm curious, how big do you think the military is? The former king forced enlistment at a certain age and actively scouted Magik users for the school to pad the fighting force. Your school does not scout anymore and this Council did away with forced enlistment. The army's volunteer only. What would you have me do?”

Tyren frowned and slumped a little in his seat. Eon’s Face was blank, but the room's atmosphere had grown far more tense. I sat and gripped the fabric at my knees. It was a resounding ‘no.’ the excuses had poured out and my hope had been overrun quickly. Money, limited resources, and sheer lack of compassion were my obstacles. As I had expected. I could feel Suman’s smug smile sliding over my skin. I was positive he was feeling triumphant. I hated it. Frowning, I desperately tried to scrounge up another solution. Something, anything.

“Well, now that we're done talking nonsense, our attention should turn to Illiath. I'm deeply disturbed. It sounds as though we're vulnerable to attack and we have no plan to change that. Eon there are few that I would trust more in your position. How can this Council help you build the army? Illiath is a very real threat. I believe we will have to deal with it sooner rather than later.” A third Duke had interjected now. This one's name was duke…Meledas. He had one of the smallest regions in the country and he seemed to speak up the least amount. Why he somehow felt now was the time to speak was beyond me. The conversation continued but I couldn't move on from the initial one.

It was hard for me to believe that the people I had fought next to-the people I would have died for-now stood on such different ground than I did. Against my better judgment, I looked to my side and my eyes met Suman's. To my surprise he did not look victorious. He looked as though he had received unbelievably bad news. He had been hoping that, somehow, I could convince everyone to help us in our common goal. I had known it would be hard but I resented the bitter wave of failure bubbling up in the back of my throat. It had been a long time since I had felt this disappointed and discouraged.

“Illiath has grown more and more aggressive as the days have passed. Loren, your father took a turn for the worst and your siblings are already fighting over the crown.” Eon explained.

“I knew it was coming and I can't say I'm shocked at all. Heh, arguing over his crown before the old man’s even kicked the bucket. Despicable. I'm sure everything will get much worse over there before it gets better. If it gets better at all.” Loren sighed, resting his cheek against his palm.

“You're not telling the whole story. It's worse than that. They've threatened Loren’s life and have dubbed him a traitor. There's a bounty on his head. As far as I can tell, the eldest brother seems to have taken some of the control. He's the one that called for the bounty in the first place.” Duke Keverin said, steepling his fingers.

I rubbed my temples as all the latest information settled in. My brain was close to exploding at this point. I didn't know that there was much else I could retain. Both of our closest allies had fallen through in under a decade. When we needed them more than ever. What could we do? How was it possible to keep one alliance when another had violently fallen apart? If the Illiathian king died and one of his children took over would the grudge be forgotten or would it grow more malicious? It looked like it was leaning toward malicious. A bounty on Loren’s head? That was crossing a line. I didn’t know what the other Illiathian princes were like. I knew they were cruel enough to sell their sibling, a child, out of jealousy. I knew that much, but what else would these men be capable of? I doubted they could be worse than Sumerion, but Gods knew I had been wrong plenty of times before.

Things may settle down in Dleth if we bent to the king’s will and gave him Talon back, but that was not the way to hold an ally. They would think us weak. Alliances could not benefit one side alone. That was a fact that both the Illiathian king and Sumerion did not understand. Or chose to ignore. We needed to present as a strong, united front. Even if we weren’t. Chewing my lip, I thought back to the earlier conversation. Eon was right. We’d done away with forced enlistment at 18 and bringing students into the school solely to enlist as well. We’d saved a great deal of money putting a stop to the teachers’ annual trips to look for more talent. Now, it came to us in droves but those who enrolled weren’t forced into service. They learned and left. Taking that talent with them. I ran my fingers over the orb at my neck as I thought. I wanted to go to bed. These conversations were too much.

“I’m sorry, can we return to the discussion about Delth. How can we do nothing?’ Tyren asked, pulling at a dark coil that hung into his face.

“Our hands are tied.” Duke Fawcell sniffed and at the same time Keverin sighed, “We’re running a country. We cannot act selfishly.”

“Selfishly?” I snapped, “Saving people is selfish? Then we were pretty damn selfish when we offed Anders. Remind me, I’m almost positive none of the dukes in this room sided with the former general. He would’ve killed you all. Do not try to act noble. Most of you are here simply to guard your family fortunes.”

“Kalian,” Eon sighed, rubbing his temples, “Regardless of the Council members’ specific motivations, we don’t have the means.”

“What are you talking about? I am an entire fighting force by myself. So is Talon!” Eon grimaced and closed his eyes as he looked away from me.

“You are. Correct. However, if our two most powerful Magik users leave to usurp a monarch, Dimian will be vulnerable. There is no set timeline for rebuilding a kingdom. We have no way of knowing how long you’ll be gone even if you succeed. That’s ignoring a number of other variables.” Hanja ground out. There was murmuring among the dukes. Some were nodding gravely.

“Kalian, one problem at a time. There are rumors that Illiath is actively moving against us. Presently Dleth is an unfortunate headache.” Eon raised an eyebrow as I glared at him.

“They’re across the sea. Dleth is closer. Sumerion doesn’t wish to be allies. If you think he’s not actively planning against us, you’re all naïve. Borderline stupid.” Eon’s brows fell as he scowled at me.

“If we are attacked by Illiath, it will more than likely come from the water. What kind of defenses do we have on the coast?” Another duke spoke up, abruptly changing the subject. He wore a thin, mint green tunic and he was older than the rest. He was at least in his seventies. Duke Reline from the westernmost region.

Eon jumped on the change of topic and the Council quickly slipped into strategy and war talk. I stared across the table at an equally annoyed Tyren. I felt my jaw clench as he let his head fall into his hands. Hanja tried to rest a hand between his shoulder blades, but Tyren shook it off. The healer had been speaking but stuttered over his words at his partner’s rejection. Tyren rubbed his eyes and met mine again. His gaze flicked to the side fast. He’d looked in the general direction of his private building. I nodded and sat back, sighing heavily. Eon was looking between the two of us but I refused to return my brother’s attention. I sat through the meeting tight-lipped and spoke only when directly spoken to. Hopefully, my conversation with Tyren went better.

Sitting in Tyren’s window seat seemed like a sin. It was like sitting in a king’s throne. I’d never done it before and I was starting to get the appeal. The nest of pillows was soft and comforting. It was almost luring me into a nap. Maybe that was why Tyren slept so much. In the midday sun, I could imagine the sunlight would blanket me in delicious warmth. I relaxed more into the pillows as I tried to remain patient. I’d been waiting so long that the sun was low. Late evening had brought the dark with it and I was beginning to think I should head home. I hadn’t planned on being here so long. It was surprising that I hadn’t heard from Talon. It was getting late. Even as I worried about my family and returning home, I enjoyed the room’s natural atmosphere. It was calm here. Well, except for Suman’s constant, long-suffering sighs and Loren playing catch with a knife. They ruined everything.

I was ready to give up and go. Then I heard the front door open and raised voices. The voices rose more and a frown popped up on my face when I realized it was Tyren. The second voice I had never heard at this volume. I’d never heard Hanja yell this way. I decided right away that I didn’t like it. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, only the yelling. Loren and I exchanged glances and a soft smile appeared on Suman’s face. Should I go break it up? Should I stay where I was and act like I hadn’t heard anything at all? My frown deepened and I gripped the back of my neck. No, it wasn’t my business and I might embarrass or make them angry if I intervened. The argument seemed to stop abruptly despite my worrying and I heard the door downstairs slam. Footsteps followed and I thought I picked up a heavy sigh. There was someone climbing the metal staircase slowly now. After another minute, I saw Tyren at last. He looked awful. His eyes were glassy and his face was tight with feelings I couldn’t name. He attempted a smile but failed miserably.

“Now, Dleth…” he started softly. His voice shook as he stood behind his desk, resting his palms on the smooth surface.

“Tyren…”

“Dleth is creating quite a problem, isn’t it? It also seems like we won’t be getting much help from our friends.” He let out a breath as I stepped closer.

“Tyren are you- “

“So, without help from our normal band of losers, what are we to do?” Loren interrupted. He looked down at me, shaking his head. He was right. Tyren was physically trying to pull himself together right in front of us. I needed to keep my mouth shut.

“Break some rules of course. With new friends.” Suman grinned as he slammed his hands down on the desk opposite Tyren. My former teacher jumped and glared at the other man.

“Break some rules? You mean commit crimes against the Council and Dimian.” I crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes at the prince.

“Is it worse than the war crimes Dleth is committing on a daily basis?” Loren asked, arm wrapping around my shoulders. I stiffened and shoved at him, but the other man held tight.

“What you’re suggesting could get us hanged.” Tyren groaned and then whispered softly, “I’m in enough trouble already.”

“Threat of execution simply adds more spice.” Suman laughed, leaning forward to rest his chin in his hands, elbows on the desk.

“I’m not exactly thrilled to walk into a conversation where the first word I hear is execution. Especially when my husband is present.” Talon strolled into the room. He had a dirty look focused on Suman. It shifted to where Loren’s arm still hung around my shoulders. Loren chuckled as I ducked away from him and took a large step to the side. Talon’s expression didn’t change much. I hadn’t expected immediate relief from him, but it caught me off guard when he finally looked at me. He looked upset, angry even.

“How nice of you to join us cousin dearest!” Suman giggled as he looked between Talon and Loren. Talon looked down his nose at us, lips pressed in a firm line.

Swallowing, I crossed to where he stood in the doorway. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tight in greeting, “Did you get tired of waiting, love?”

“I didn’t think it would take you this long. It looks like you were okay though, huh?” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and raised an eyebrow when I looked up at him. I’d read him wrong. It wasn’t anger. Talon was jealous. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I tugged him down for a kiss.

Stop it. You know how Loren is. You also know that you’re it for me. You’re stuck with me.

He relaxed into the kiss, hand resting on my lower back as he moved to nuzzle my neck. I toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck and ignored the pointed throat clearing behind me and the fake retching. I felt lips press to my skin as he pulled me tighter to him. If my partner needed comfort and reassurance, the others could wait. The gods knew how many times my own insecurity and jealousy had made things difficult for us. We’d been together too long for it to still be something we couldn’t weather. After a minute, Talon released me. I turned and led him farther into the room. When I stopped moving, he wrapped me up in his arms again and rested his chin on my shoulder. Tyren smiled weakly and I saw Talon studying the older man out of the corner of my eye.

“Now, what’s going on?”

“I tried to convince the Council that we needed to take action against Sumerion and Dleth. They brushed me off. Fast.”

“That’s not a surprise really,” Talon shrugged, laughing softly when I pouted up at him, “When did the conversation veer into darker territory? What were we planning?”

“I was simply telling your husband that there are still ways the issue can be handled. They just may not involve…proper channels.” Suman shrugged while still awkwardly holding his head in his hands.

“Oh, well of course there are. There always are. I understand now. You were suggesting he go against the Council and destroy the very fragile trust established between the members.” Talon chuckled, kissing the side of my head, “Treason-adjacent.”

“Yes exactly! That’s a good way to put it.” Suman laughed.

Loren chuckled, gathering his hair into a short ponytail, “It’d be about right for us.”

“Overthrowing a tyrant? That’s something we’ve already done. Be a little more creative Suman.” Talon sighed.

“I’m uncomfortable with how casually we’re discussing something like this.” Tyren frowned, crossing his arms.

“Why’d you want this secret little meeting if it wasn’t to discuss things your precious Council might not like?” Suman grinned.

He had a point. Tyren frowned and looked away from the man across from him. He stared out the large window. It was too dark now to see anything. He needed something to look at that didn’t have long grey hair and a sharp tongue. I could sympathize. His yellow gaze left the window and roamed the room.

He met my eyes when he decided to speak again, “Anything we do regarding Dleth will be against the Council’s direct orders. I suggest we think long and hard about any choice we make. We shouldn’t even be having this conversation. Two Dlethian princes, an Illiathian prince, a Dimianese duke, and a foreign-born teacher. Kalian, do you ever put together groups that make sense?”

“He likes to keep things interesting.” Loren laughed and flicked my nose.

“Is there a reason you can’t keep your hands to yourself?” Talon snapped and took a step back, taking me with him. The anger barely suppressed in Talon’s voice reminded me of when we’d first met Loren. He still seemed to possess an uncanny ability to get under my partner’s skin.

“That sounds boring.” Loren smirked.

“It does.” Suman murmured as he watched the interaction with mild amusement twinged with another emotion I couldn’t place. I was having a tough time pegging people’s emotions today. That was unusual. I was again unsettled as Loren’s smirk landed on Suman. The prince practically preened. Nothing good, absolutely nothing, would come from that coupling.

“Suman, time to head home. This conversation seems to have died anyway.” Talon said as he untangled himself from me. Suman’s smile for Talon was sharp. He moved back, but it didn’t matter. Talon grabbed his sleeve and jumped them both. My eyes unfocused for a moment as I watched my husband’s shadows dissipate. Another night sleeping alone. I rubbed my cheek gently as I felt loneliness shake around inside me. I struggled to suppress it and was thankful for a distraction. Loren sighed and smoothed his hand down the front of his tunic.

“I have things to take care of. Good night.” He left the more conventional way. The metal door slid closed behind him and I jumped when I realized Tyren had moved much closer.

“Hanja is livid.”

“About the meeting?” I asked as the older man took my hands in his.

“About everything, it seems. He wants to leave but I don’t want to. We are never on the same page when it comes to the Council. He doesn’t even want to be on the Council anymore, Kalian. He doesn’t want to be a teacher anymore but I refuse to give it up. We can’t seem to agree on anything. We fight all the time. I’m, uh, I’m sorry you had to hear that earlier. I know you were concerned. Thank you for not intervening. It would’ve made him angrier.”

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. As I pulled Tyren into a hug, I mumbled, “I don’t understand. We fought a war. You almost lost each other. Hanja doesn’t seem like himself. I don’t get why things are so tense now.”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” He mumbled into my shoulder, clutching tight at my tunic. I tried to ignore the drops of moisture I was beginning to feel soak through my top.

“Maybe it’s Suman’s influence again. He loves playing with people.”

Tyren pulled away, “I don’t know Kalian. I’m afraid I don’t have any answers. My head tells me one thing, but my heart tells me another. It’s the same way with Hanja. We’ve been together so long that this sudden shift has completely thrown me off. I’m so tired. All the time.”

He wiped at his eyes and looked out the window again, “It’s best we call it a night and return home. I’m sure you’re tired too. From your journey.”

He waved his door open and we both startled a little when Hanja was on the other side. He looked miserable and his hands were clenched into fists by his sides, “Kalian. I’m going to act like I didn’t see you. That way I can claim ignorance if you do something stupid.”

I barely heard him, more interested in making sure Tyren would be okay. He smiled reassuringly at me and nodded, waving me away. I suppose even if they were fighting, I should know that I could trust Hanja with Tyren. I walked past the healer who shot me a strange look. I didn’t acknowledge him.

I was descending the staircase when a glance over my shoulder caught Hanja extending his hand to the other man. I wanted to pretend like I hadn’t seen the tears well in my teacher’s eyes. They were going to get through this. They had to. I didn’t want to live in a world where Tyren and Hanja weren’t together.

I waited until I was in the main room downstairs to wrap my light around my body and jump. Our house was lit up and I made my way inside and to the dining room. Wyn sat at the table, half eaten dinner next to him. There were books and papers spread out around him and he looked frustrated.

“Did you get enough to eat?” I asked, bending down to kiss the top of his head.

He flailed his arms to half-heartedly deny the kiss and sighed, “This is hard da. I don’t get it and Master Hanja is ruthless and downright mean. He ruined my appetite.”

“Try being stuck in the wilderness with him for over a year.” I mumbled under my breath as Lydia rushed to bring out a place setting. She disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a plate piled high with food. My stomach growled to remind me that I had yet to eat today.

“Is he like this outside of the school?” Wyn groaned, his head thumping down on the table.

“Hanja is a serious person. That’s who he is little love. He is also kind, intelligent, and strong. He’s a good mentor even if he’s tough on you. I trust him.” I shrugged and ruffled the boy’s hair as I started eating.

“He’s the worst.” The child groaned again; voice muffled as he let his cheek smash against the table.

“It’ll get better. What are you working on?” I asked as I cut into a piece of perfectly cooked chicken, spearing some vegetables as well on the way to my mouth. Lydia was a gift.

“Theology. Did you know there used to be a religion that only had a singular god? Uncle Wren even said he only had a handful. Under ten! Why do we have so many?” Wyn whined as he yanked a book closer to him. He smacked his hand down on a rather impressive chart of the currently recognized gods, “I wanna go back to when there was only one! Less to learn!”

“It changed for a reason, plus they didn’t have Magik. What would you do then?” I asked, smiling at his disgruntled expression.

“I’d be normal and boring. I wish I could be that way. People wouldn’t come up to me and ask about you and dad. Or make fun of me for having uncle Wren as a family member.” Wyn muttered, starting to take notes.

“For their sake, I hope Wren doesn’t hear them. Eon wouldn’t take it well either.”

“They say things about uncle Suman and uncle Loren too! If only they knew what they’d do, they’d never give me a har- “

Wyn cut himself off fast at my sharp look, “What are they doing? Giving you a hard time?”

“Nothing. I’m going to study in my room.” I set my fork down, frown deep-set on my face as Wyn scrambled to leave the table. I tapped my fingers slowly next to my abandoned plate as my eyes narrowed. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. Sure, I was still considering how to handle Dleth, and to a lesser extent Illiath, but Wyn came first. I really did not want to have to put fear in the hearts of parents so their kids would behave. I was angry at the mere thought that he was struggling. I had desperately wanted him to make friends, but that wasn’t happening. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty too. We’d doomed Wyn to this kind of life by simply being who we were.

My jaw clenched as I tried to relax. I may not want to harass other parents, but there were plenty of others who would be delighted to. I grimaced as I picked up my fork again. Tyren had told me once that delegation was important.