The Next Stage - 31. A Much Needed Break

9 weeks. 9 goddamn weeks later and Jasper is still sending goodnight texts and staying up half the night with the return of his insomnia. The medications were still doing something. He couldn’t say they were useless, just that they worked best when in conjunction with a positive environment and this had not been one of those in at least the last 9 weeks. He had been dreaming he’d never get home, or that awful things were happening at home and he just could not get there. Nightmare after nightmare after nightmare, and he had learned not to just stop shutting his eyes. He’s been awake for nearly a full 40 hours and he’s riding the countless waves of adrenaline his body keeps shooting out to keep him functioning. It’s like exhaustion is a drug and he’s making the most of the high.

He’d taken personal offence to the unprecedented slamming of rain that had grounded flights, flooded through the ground floor of his orphanage and destroyed new medical equipment, setting them back just when they had finally started making a difference. If he makes it to heaven, he’s got some choice words for this supposed God for fucking with his philanthropic work.

At least he was busy throughout the day and well into the night until the building was locked up. He’d stay later, but it wasn’t safe for him and he wasn’t going to risk not getting home because some assholes decided to rearrange his face, or steal an organ. He was pretty sure he’d survive on some kind of deeply restrained animalistic instinct to live, or at worst, he’d come back from the dead to get home to his family, but he wasn’t willing to test the theory and understood it came somewhere from a place of denial and fear. The same one giving him the nightmares.

Did he tell Ryan he was struggling? Of course not. He used the hell out of the contact lenses to hide that his eyes are tiredly bloodshot and he’s running on empty. There was nothing Ryan could do with a massive ocean between them, so why stress him out with the things he can’t change?

The irony isn’t lost on him that he himself is stressing out over things he can’t change. But he can at least protect Ryan from it.

The sun is almost rising when Jasper hears a knock on the door. He’d been dozing off to sleep on the couch and is too tired to physically feel anymore, so right up until he opens the door, he’s sure he’s dreaming.

Instead of picking him up from the airport, Ryan was picking him up from the doorway of his hotel room, and throwing him on the bed that he has no intention of leaving for the next decade.

“What are you doing here?” Jasper asks, absolutely shocked. He’d had this dream a thousand times with the isolating loneliness of this room now that he didn’t even have Leo keeping him company, but he was fairly sure he had woken up to the knocking on his door. Even with his rather vivid imagination, he could tell the difference between the touch of a dream and the warmth of Ryan’s body against his, the minty coolness of Ryan’s breath and the excitement yet relaxation that comes with the sound of Ryan’s voice.

“Couldn’t wait another second to do this,” Ryan breathes. Their lips meet and Jasper knows there is no way he could dream the flood of sensations overcoming him, awakening every nerve. The kiss is brief. Ryan pulling away to ask what Jasper needed to do today.

“Uh, normally I go spend the morning with the kids, but I’ve been stuck cleaning up after the flooding...”

“I can help with cleaning so you can see the kids today.” Ryan cuts him off.

“Talking about kids. Where’s Jazzy?”

“She’s safe at home with Beth.”

“I miss her.”

“She misses you.”

Jasper loses himself for a moment in a swirl of guilt. On his own here, Jasper had been able to keep himself busy and emotionally strong, but there was a feeling of safety that unlocked everything he was keeping in. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” Jasper covers his face and takes a few deep breaths to settle himself again.

“Don’t apologize.” Ryan says, wrapping his arms around Jasper comfortingly.

“Ugh, I hate this, though. I’ve been fine. I really have been. Why is it now that my brain decides to do this?” Jasper complains.

“Jazzy cries more with me than anyone else too. Apparently, because little kids know that no matter what emotion they are feeling, they express it to the person they feel safest towards. I guess that’s not something we grow out of.” Ryan says, kissing the back of Jasper’s neck.

“Are you comparing me to our daughter right now?” Jasper asks with a laugh.

“Yep. And if you caught it, I’m also saying how incredible I am because everyone feels safe to fall apart around me.” Ryan says with a grin.

“How did you know I needed this? The last few days have been terrible and every time you’ve texted and asked how things are, I’ve told you things are going well.”

“For starters, you always lie to me when you’re struggling. I’ve learned the little tells you are probably not even aware of.”

“Like what?”

“Yeah, like I’m going to tell you so you can lie more convincingly to me.” Ryan rolls his eyes.

“I don’t mean to lie to you. I just didn’t want you to worry about me when there was nothing you could do.”

“I’ve been trying to get over here since the moment you told me Leo had left. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“I can’t believe you’re here. I really didn’t expect this.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I was hoping I could come and take my husband home. Put me to work if it’ll get your hot ass on a plane sooner. I’m sick of missing you.”

“I bet in your head you thought when you said that I would put you to work in a really sexy way.”

“You think I rehearsed this romantic gesture?”

“I hope not, because I may be about to disappoint you and give you actual jobs to do.”

“Good. Do that. We can do the sexy ordering around when I’ve got you home with me.”

“Deal.”

**** 

Ryan groans and his muscles tense as he helps shift furniture. Jasper is distracted by it continuously and he’s fairly sure Ryan is exaggerating just to get a reaction out of him. He’ll get the reaction he wants later.

For now, Jasper is concentrating very aggressively on mopping the tiles and hoping this country doesn’t get rain like this ever again.

The thought that him helping Ryan’s charity had included wearing a suit and hosting a party, and Ryan helping his charity is lifting heavy furniture over and over until his arms feel like they are going to fall off, amuses him.

Ryan’s help does speed up the process. As it is, they had been expecting to be finish the cleanup by the end of the week, so at best Ryan saved them a day. But the thought of holding Ryan’s hand as the plane takes off for the last time, knowing Ryan was taking him home, is enough motivation for Jasper to speed through his own jobs too.

When they break for lunch, Ryan gets to see just how endless this job had been for Jasper. Instead of sitting and having his break, he’s sitting in the front of the hall the children are eating lunch in, playing local nursery rhymes Ryan had never heard before on a portable keyboard. While they eat, some of the kids are talking, others are singing along to songs distractedly, and others are just eating like they are in disbelief of the food they are being served. Either way, everyone seems happy. Which is all Jasper could really ask for. Happy, fed and safely housed kids. He could never again feel like he couldn’t make a difference in this country.

He had made that difference.

Ryan stands back, leaning against the doorframe and taking in everything his husband had achieved over here. He knew Jasper was here doing this. He knew the project’s plans and every stage of it because Jasper had been updating him on the building progress. But he’s completely blown away with pride for him at the sight of this fantastic outcome. Nothing about this is what Ryan pictured. He’d heard that Jasper’s building could house up to 50 children, but he’d not imagined standing in a hall with 50 children sitting at long wooden tables, eating and smiling together. There’s a young mother. A very young mother, nursing her baby off to the side of the room, with a nurse keeping her company. There’s staff feeding a number of babies in high chairs off to the other side. Every age from infant to adult is spread across the room. All these kids that had nowhere to live and no way to feed themselves now had a home.

Ryan’s charity, though providing similar safety to people in need, didn’t have a single person below the age of 10 there. Even then, it was one 10-year-old. Jasper had to provide a service to not just protect these people, but to keep them alive and raise them. All Ryan had to do was teach the teenagers about safe sex and hope they were at least taking that in when they inevitably start hooking up with each other if they weren’t already. Security was dropping down as most of the people living in Ryan’s hotel were broken up into ages per floor. The younger the kids were, the more security monitored their floor. The 17- and 18-year-olds had one security guard stationed by the lift to make sure no one underage could get up to the floor and that no one would sneak down to another floor through the night. Other than that, they had complete freedom.

Also, they were old enough and understood enough about their situation that Ryan truly believed that they respected him and his charity enough to behave themselves as much as a hotel full of hormonal and sexually explorative teenagers could. Ryan had tried to play down how prepared he was for something like an STD to start spreading or for teenage possessive drama or broken hearts. Someone’s nude photos being circulated... All of it, he was prepared to deal with, but he was trying to keep Jasper’s dad from doing more than being realistically aware that these problems might come up. Explaining why a doctor was running a free clinic once a week and what PrEP was had led to yet another conversation/argument about why abstinence wasn’t the appropriate sex education and safeguard for these kids. It’d briefly turned into a “is this how you plan to raise my granddaughter?” “What, to have respectful discussions with us, knowing we don’t judge her, we only want her to be safe and understand her body in a way that empowers her? Yes. That’s exactly how I intend to raise my daughter.”

Ryan’s relationship with Jasper’s dad was benefiting from this experience, but he had predicted they would run into disagreements over how they would manage some of these situations. In his dad’s defense, he was trying. He left decisions up to Ryan, but he’d not been distant in running the place. Every Sunday, he led church in their function room with a surprising number of their youths attending, welcoming more and more LGBTQIA+ people to the service each week. Families were also welcome, and he had bookings for religious counselling sessions between their current residents and their parents to help them reconcile, or at the very least understand and respect, one another. Ryan had been skeptical about it right up until one of their residents had been invited to move back home and agreed.

Their disagreements didn’t outweigh that they were achieving together, and Ryan genuinely appreciated the insight he was getting into exactly why Jasper had been repairing their relationship. Sure, Ryan had seen glimpses of their changes, but being respected and watching his dad treat other queer youths with respect and kindness while working incorporating his beliefs and extending them to bring religious safety to people who had been told they are sinners that will rot in hell, really showed how far things have come.

His charity housing had been running well, and it was beautiful to see that Jasper’s was also doing well, despite the setbacks it’d gone through.

After lunch, Jasper delegates another task to Ryan, and it’s only as he pulls away to disappear on him that Ryan becomes aware that Jasper hadn’t kissed him since they got here. He doesn’t worry about it, but he does wonder whether he felt the need to censor himself around the staff here or whether it was the children he felt uncomfortable kissing his husband in front of.

Ryan takes a lunch break when he starts to get the shakes from not eating. His last decent meal had been before he got on the plane, with only snacks tiding him over since then. The staff’s lunchroom overlooks a cute set of playground equipment that is currently decorated with muddy hand and footprints. Kids flood into the playground and Ryan is so captivated by the joy of seeing them play without a care in the world that he doesn’t see Jasper making his way over. Jasper sits on the windowsill, cradling a sleeping baby in his arms and smiling out at the kids.

“Stealing a baby?” Ryan asks.

“Mm-hm. Letting his mummy go and be a child for a while.” Jasper says, leaning his head against the glass.

“How old is she?”

“11. She was married off at 9 and this is her first baby but third pregnancy. The more she can just enjoy being a kid, the better. I’ve hired her a fulltime nanny, in the hopes that she can have enough help that she doesn’t have to be an adult anymore, but I think the emotional damage is done. Still, watching her play with the other kids makes me feel at least a little more than too late and useless here.” Jasper rocks the baby as he starts to make noise.

“Jas, you should be so proud of this place and what you’ve been able to do.” Ryan tells him.

“I am.” Jasper yawns. “It doesn’t make it any less depressing. I’m going to miss these kids.”

“I think they are going to miss you too.” Ryan admits, though he didn’t want to make it harder for Jasper to come home.

“Ry, I’m going to need you to get me out of here. Otherwise, guilt is going to keep me here forever.”

“Are you going to give the baby back, or are we keeping it?” Ryan asks so casually it takes Jasper’s breath away.

“We are not keeping this baby,” he laughs.

“No? Jazzy would love a playmate.”

“She can’t play with this. It’s still at the lay around hopelessly and scream stage.”

“Ahh, babies.”

“No.”

“Home?”

“Do you want to go back to the hotel and pack my things while I say my goodbyes?” Jasper suggests. Ryan stands up, coming over to Jasper’s side and kisses his cheek.

“I’ll be back for you soon.” Ryan whispers, wanting to turn Jasper’s face and kiss him properly, but he resists.

“I can’t wait for you to take me away from here.” Jasper yawns again. He’d survived the day fairly well, but Ryan being here is so comforting that his body has stopped working to keep him awake. He’s more than ready to fall asleep by Ryan’s side and wake up, knowing he doesn’t have to go anywhere.

**** 

Ryan holds Jasper’s hand as they board the flight. He himself had only been in this country for just over 15 hours, and it felt like not enough time in this part of Jasper’s life, but he knew they would be back here again throughout the year. There would be plenty of time for him to explore here in the future.

They take their seats in first class and the second the seat belts sign comes off; Jasper pops his seat belt off and puts his seat back. Ryan stands, finding a blanket and draping it over Jasper.

“Thank you.” Jasper mumbles, getting comfortable. “Are you tired?”

“A little. I’m thinking of having a tactical nap, so we’re at least on the same sleep schedule.”

“We’re going to be so screwed when we have to parent.” Jasper smiles sleepily as Ryan cuddles up behind him.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got things all sorted out.” Ryan replies, but Jasper is anything but worried. In fact, he’s already asleep.

Comforted by the warmth of Ryan’s body against his and the motion of the plane, the thoughts of going home, being home and not having to say goodbye again, he finally gets a decent sleep. Instead of nightmares, he’s treated to hours of blissful absence. Like he closed his eyes and everything just rested and reset. No matter how many flights he’s taken across the globe, it never stops being weird that he can go to sleep in the afternoon while the plan chases the sunlight and almost 7 hours later, he’s waking up to the afternoon sun painting the sky orange.

Jasper rubs his eyes, rolling over and looking at Ryan, who is sitting up, his hand on Jasper’s hip.

“You must have needed that.” Ryan smiles at him.

“Mm, do we have a stop-over or something?”

“Something.” Ryan shrugs and reaches over, stopping Jasper from opening the blind on the window. “Can you let me surprise you?” he asks.

Jasper pulls his seat back up and straps his seatbelt over his lap. “I love it when you have ulterior motives.”

“I’m just being selfish. I didn’t want to take you straight home, where I’d have to share you with everyone.” Ryan winks at him and takes his hand as the plane comes in for landing.

Jasper and Ryan get off the plane and straight onto a private helicopter, which is a first for the couple and Jasper’s inner adrenaline junkie is loving the way it feels like he could fall out at any given second. He enjoys it twice as much when Ryan blindfolds him. Meanwhile Ryan keeps apologizing and asking if Jasper is ok because he could not imagine feeling this close to death and not even being able to see what is going on around him. He could see that the helicopter is only a jolty death trap because of the wind pockets they keep hitting, but the pilot is casually chatting with the co-pilot like this is normal. If he was blindfolded, he’d be having a panic attack, not grinning like his psychopath husband is.

Thankfully it’s only a short trip, and before he knows it, they are landing. Ryan cannot wait to get his feet on solid ground and spend a few days of solitude. He helps Jasper down, the co-pilot unloads their bags and Ryan finally removes the blindfold for Jasper.

It’s not a complete surprise to see where they are. Jasper felt so familiar with the smell of saltwater and flowering native plants that it was the first thought he had when he’d gotten out of the helicopter. It probably helped that this wasn’t the first time he’d been blindfolded here and had to rely on other senses. As the sound of helicopter blades chopping through the air becomes distant and the ocean waves crashing against the beach become more distinct he feels truly at peace.

“How long are we staying here for?” Jasper asks with a grin as he turns to Ryan.

“Only two nights. A little pause before we’re back to reality completely.” Ryan replies, sweeping an arm around Jasper and bringing him close.

“Only two nights? Better not waste any time then.” Jasper suggests, his arms going over Ryan’s shoulders as he leans in to kiss him. He means for it to be a loving kiss, a ‘thank you for bringing me back here’ kiss. A ‘thank you for coming and getting me’ kiss. But all of those feelings are mixed up with need and ‘horny’ is the only thing he manages to clearly convey.

He breaks the kiss, annoyed with himself for getting side tracked. He clears his throat and purposefully looks around. “I love that you brought me here.”

“I thought you might.” Ryan picks up his and Jasper’s suitcases. “Lets get inside and see the food situation, I haven’t seen you eat all day.”

“At this point my body is used to starvation.” Jasper laughs it off but Ryan gives him a concerned look. “I remember there being a spa here,” he leads the way to the cabin as though it hadn’t been a year and a half since their brief honeymoon visit.

Memories swell through him as he passes where they filmed their ‘wedding’ music video. He’s almost embarrassed by the amount of trees he remembers being pressed against with Ryan’s tongue in his mouth, fingers in his hair and body moving against his. The tide was in. Waves meeting the sand where he and Ryan had been stoned when Leo turned up to take them home.

Good times.

He gets to the cabin first, hoping his appreciation had been shown enough already because this island had a sex record that he wanted to break and they only had two days to break it.

Ryan unlocks the door, and Jasper is straight in and over to the spa. He gets the water running, then relaxes on the bed while Ryan assesses the food arranged for them.

“Do I need to go hunter gathering for fish?” Jasper asks when Ryan joins him a moment later.

“The only fishing you do is for compliments.” Ryan replies cheekily, earning him a scoff and playful slap on the shoulder.

“Didn’t you read the articles about me being really masc now? I’m basically an alpha.”

“I think you’re mixing articles and fanfiction.” Ryan laughs. “And if you use the word 'alpha’ around me again, I will have to divorce you.”

“Speaking of men that like having the power in bed, have you heard from Leo at all?” Jasper asks.

“I have actually. He asked if he could help me with running my charity.”

“Oh god, how? By being a cautionary tale?” Jasper jokes.

“Kinda.” Ryan laughs. “He’s vetting a few therapists that specialize in queer related counselling services.”

“Did you trick him into getting therapy?” Jasper stares at Ryan, impressed.

“No. I asked him to go to therapists and find ones that he believes would be best suited to the particular needs of the residents in my service. If he’s getting something out of the sessions too it’s a bonus.” Ryan shrugs, with a sly grin on his face.

“Well played.”

“I thought so.”

“You know there’s nothing wrong with Leo being so...” Jasper gestures vaguely as he tries to think of the right word. “Sexually... Empowered? Power to him, he has the confidence to just go for it and he’s obviously got some kind of insatiable sex drive. No reason he can’t just be hooking up with people all the time. And for the most part, he’s safe about it.”

“He had to flee the country because he slept with the wrong person.” Ryan scoffs.

“I did say, for the most part.”

“He can do whatever and whoever he wants. I don’t judge him on that. I’m just pissed that he let that get in the way of being there to support and help you. Have you ever thought just maybe he’s a sex addict?”

“He wasn’t there as an employee, he was there as a friend. As an employee, I’m sure he had plenty of hook-ups during work time, but he never made it an issue. I’m hesitant to consider it an addiction because he seems to be in control of it and genuinely enjoying his life. It’s not a compulsion. He’s just got a very high sex drive. Just because your demisexual ‘sex = love’ brain works differently.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit lost on me. I get that it would be exciting and all that, but I certainly couldn’t imagine sleeping with so many strangers. Or any strangers, for that matter.”

“Meanwhile, there are probably a lot of strangers that imagine having sex with you.” Jasper winks.

“I’ve had enough of this conversation. Next.” Ryan waves his hand in the air like he’s swatting the thought away.

“Is my dad coping with everything?”

“That is a wild change of topic.” Ryan laughs. “He’s way in over his head, but I respect that he’s not decided to take a quiet supporting role in running the place. He’s doing the best he can, even if it is challenging him.”

“I don’t think it’ll even stop being weird that you hang out with my dad now.”

“I don’t hang out with your dad. I hate having to make conversation with him at work because it’s still awkward as hell. He doesn’t actively do anything to validate this but...”

“You’ve imagined a problem into existence?”

“He’ll always see me as the guy that corrupted his son.”

“Maybe. Or maybe he’s changed, but because you watched me go through all of that shit, you have internalized the blame and now you’re finding it difficult to let that go.”

“You never talked about what happened when you were sent to conversion therapy. Some of the kids we have living at the hotel have been through those kinds of places and I’ve heard some of the things that went on...”

“Ry, I was there for like, a day and I was an adult. They couldn’t make me do anything, and I had no willingness to participate in anything. I just don’t like talking about it because it was the lowest point in my parents' lives and I just want to pretend that things never got that bad with them. We’ve made progress and I choose to love for who they want to be now, not the mistakes they made in the past.” Jasper sighs.

“Is that because you’re hoping for the same with you?”

“People are never going to leave my mistakes in the past. I’m nowhere near naïve enough to even hold out hope for that. I just don’t want to waste the good things in my life by forcing myself to find faults in them. The only thing I ever gained from being bitter was attention from all the wrong people.” Jasper says, gazing up at the stars. “And the wrong attention from the right people.”

“If it helps, I’m not holding onto your mistakes.”

Jasper turns his head, looking at Ryan with a fake smile. “And that is exactly why I’m going to make a concerted effort to not be like that anymore. Because I want to feel like I earn that forgiveness you keep giving me. From now on, the only attention I need is from you and Jazzy.”

Ryan laughs, reaching a hand out to take Jasper’s. “We love you, but don’t put that kind of pressure on us, please. I accepted a while ago that your need for attention is more than I can fulfill.”

“I’m not going to be like that anymore...”

“Jas, it’s fine. Really. I want to enjoy watching you getting all the attention. Although, I would prefer if it’s positive attention.”

“At this point, even I would enjoy some positive attention.” Jasper sighs.

“Would you just?” Ryan smiles, rolling over and holding himself above Jasper. “Do you think you’ve earned some positive attention?”

“I’ve been working really hard.” Jasper answers with a little shrug.

Ryan tilts his head in consideration. “True.”

Jasper looks up at him expectantly. Ryan smirks at him, knowing that every second he hesitates is tormenting Jasper. To his surprise, Jasper doesn’t seem annoyed, instead he flips the narrative. “You know who I think really deserves the attention, though?”

“Who?” Ryan answers.

Jasper smiles, pulling Ryan down by the collar of his shirt and kissing him with a disarming amount of passion.

Ryan loves Jasper’s answer almost as much as he loves throwing him against the bed again and showing him the attention he deserves. It’s almost a battle between them to be the one rewarding each other’s work, sacrifice and love.

Jasper wants Ryan to feel like his priority, after spending so much time in the last few years not with a version of him that wasn’t at his best.

Ryan wanted Jasper to feel missed, craved and satisfied with the attention Ryan was giving him after being neglected through his worst times and then limited by the distance between them.

It starts with kissing, Jasper holding Ryan by the collar of his shirt, the other hand running down his body until it reaches the button on his pants. Then Ryan takes Jasper’s hand from his pants and pins it above his head, his lips leaving Jasper’s teasing his sensitive neck.

For a moment, Jasper indulges, but the second he feels Ryan’s grip on his wrist weaken, he slips his arm around Ryan, rolling his body to force Ryan over onto his back. Jasper straddles him, undoing his shirt swiftly and taking in the sight of his husband’s toned body. The last few times they had been together, everything was so urgent and rushed he’d barely had time to admire the view. One minute he’s thinking he wants to run his tongue along Ryan’s abs, and the next minute he's moved down Ryan’s legs, restricting them with his body as his tongue traces a line along each muscle and down the v to his pants again, not even aware that he is the one moaning at the action.

Ryan grips his hair, pulling him back up and slipping his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side. He undoes Jasper’s pants and pulls them down a little, for the first time noticing a discrete tattoo on Jasper’s hip before grabbing his ass and forcefully encouraging him to move further up his body until his knees are either side of Ryan’s shoulders.

“Bite me, Daddy.” Ryan reads it out, casting Jasper a smirk. “When did you have this done?” he asks, before running his tongue over the words written in small print and cursive. Only at this closeness could they be read.

“Fathers’ Day.”

“I’ve seen you naked since then, haven’t I?” Ryan asks, shocked.

“Shower, the car just before sunrise. I don’t think we even turned on a light last time we managed to find time for this. You've seen me naked, but I guess not in a way or a time where you would have been paying close attention.” Jasper shrugs, then gasps as Ryan’s teeth nip at his hip.

“You really got that permanently inked onto your skin.”

“I really did.”

“Just because you know I’m not into you calling me daddy.”

“It’s funny.” Jasper says with a laugh that quickly becomes another gasp as Ryan does as the tattoo says again. Ryan runs his tongue up Jasper’s inner thigh, then exhales a hot breath over Jasper’s crotch. Unable to get any more naked in this position, Jasper curses. Ryan groans with want, just knowing how much more Jasper needs from him right now. He gives him a rough push, throwing him forward.

Jasper grabs the bedhead, his pants and underwear tugged down now all the way to his knees. If he wasn’t so selfishly relieved to feel Ryan’s tongue press against him, he’d be mad that he wasn’t pleasuring Ryan first. He truly set out to, but somehow the tables had turned and he’s completely at Ryan’s mercy, feeling building waves of ecstasy pulsing through him with each skillful movement of Ryan’s tongue.

He needed to get control back before his body hit the point of ‘too horny to care’. Judging by the way he reaches for Ryan’s hair with the intention of tugging him back, but instead seems to be holding him in place, he’s already right on the edge of giving in to the temptation of pleasure over the urge to have Ryan being the moaning mess.

He wishes he has his self-control to thank, but as Ryan stops with the sound of the spa overflowing, Jasper’s selfish first thought is that he’d pay for the water damage of a flooded cabin over having his enjoyment momentarily being paused right now.

Ryan turns off the taps, lets out some of the water in the spa and throws a bathmat down, lazily mopping up the luckily minimal amount of water that had overflowed. Jasper pretends he’s helping clean, kicking his pants off and finding another towel to wipe up the floor. It’s a clever ploy to just happen to find himself kneeling before Ryan.

As Jasper gets his pants down at last, Ryan braces himself against the side of the spa. Jasper is clearly not in the mood for teasing anymore, getting right to the point with his lips and tongue forcing a mix of curses and compliments from his husband.

Ryan felt like half his foreplay had been pleasuring Jasper, so he can’t handle the attention on himself for long before he is overcome with the need to feel Jasper’s body against his. To swallow down his moans and feel him shudder as he lets go.

Jasper is glad when Ryan takes over again. Just listening to Ryan enjoying himself had Jasper in a state of unrelenting desire. He’d have loved to take Ryan all the way over the edge like this, but he gets to his feet instead, absolutely aching for Ryan right now.

Ryan slips his hand behind Jasper’s neck and brings him in for a tender kiss to slow them both down. There was no rush. For once, they had limitless time to enjoy one another. He guides Jasper back to the bed, falling upon it and gripping at the sheets as their bodies meet with unmatchable bliss, taking them to a state they hope to float for as long as they can maintain it.

Two days here would not be enough.