The Next Stage - 24. Date Night

“Controversial celebrity Jasper Reid, photographed drunk at a party with his former Personal Assistant, following the successful dispute in court in which his alcohol and bipolar disorder was used to defend his actions...”

“What do you want me to say, Ry? You were right, I shouldn’t get to go out and enjoy things?” Jasper rolls his eyes as he gets out of the shower.

“No, but the media is just out to villainize you every opportunity they get and you keep feeding them.”

Jasper shrugs. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Let the hate pay my bills.”

“You really just don’t care?”

“Nope. You should try it. It’s liberating. Now, I know it’s been forever and we’re a little out of practice on this, but date night isn’t exactly off to the best start.” Jasper steps forward and takes the phone from Ryan’s hands. “Can we please just be us? Not a disgraced celebrity being ripped apart online, just a regular man and his gorgeous husband.” Jasper reminds him, turning and walking back into the bedroom. He tosses Ryan’s phone on the bed and starts getting dressed.

“Sorry. I just hate what is being said about you.”

“You should see what they are saying about you.” Jasper turns around with a grin, then puts his hand over his heart and puts on a dramatic voice. “’Where do I get a Ryan from? Because I want one.’ ‘Ryan is the perfect man. I’m quitting dating until he’s single.’ ‘Ryan, I’m depressed. Please come clean up my life and consensually fuck me.’”

“No one is saying that last one I’d hope.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Sounds more like I’d be concerned.”

“I don’t know. I’d like to think you’ve set a new standard for people to aspire to. My inboxes are overflowing with fans confessing to their depression, drinking problems, mental health issue and the way they have been treated because of those. Trust me. I know how good I’ve got it with you.”

“Why are you wearing a suit?”

“I’m setting my own standard. Date night.” Jasper shrugs.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Well, you’re a bit overdressed for what I had organized for us. Just dress casual.”

*** 

“This is a Squid Game themed series of escape rooms. You have half an hour in each of the 5 rooms. Good luck.” The voice over says as the elevator door opens to a colourful room.

“Well, the only escape from Squid Game is to be the last one alive. So, who’s going first?” Jasper jokes, walking out into the room full of masked statues. Ten numbered green jackets hang from a rack.

“I thought this would be your kind of thing. And since it’s the one horror-ish thing you’ve managed to make me watch, I figure I mightn’t be completely useless at it.”

“How romantic.” Jasper smiles, taking jacket number 5 and putting it on.

“It’s a bit ride or die.”

“Well, I know which one I was hoping for tonight.”

“Anyone else regret agreeing to this five-way date?” Grace asks with a laugh.

“Is it too late to leave?” Brayden sighs.

Beth tries the door handle. “Looks like it.”

“We needed to get out and do something fun.” Luke shrugs, rubbing Fi’s shoulder.

“Five-way? Who else is coming?” Jasper asks, just as the lift doors open and Simon steps out with his wife?

“Hey, sorry we’re late.” Simon walks over. “You remember Kara?”

“Uh yeah. Nice to see you again.” Jasper says politely.

“Thank you. It’s nice to be back here.” Kara replies.

Everyone chooses not to ask about their apparent divorce.

Flynn grins as he saunters over to the jackets. “This is gonna be fucking epic.”

Once everyone has picked their jackets, six of the guards' step forward, holding guns to their backs. Beth and Kara scream, then laugh at each other. Fi holds close to Luke, who rubs her back sweetly. Grace and Flynn are immediately ready to throw hands, and Jasper can’t help but laugh at them.

The group is escorted through a door into what looks like a long hallway. At one end is a giant doll blocking a door. The rules are explained. Anyone caught by the doll, moving will be eliminated. Thankfully, it was only laser lights they had to survive against and everyone at least makes it to the doll in time.

Through the door is the second room where they are asked to pick a shape on one of the four doors around the room. For this game, they are instructed to use the giant playground equipment around them to manoeuvre around the room to their chosen door. Jasper chooses the umbrella shape and is joined by Ryan and Beth.

“How have you been, beautiful?” Ryan asks as he helps boost Beth up the oversized ladder of the slide.

“I’m really good, actually. How about you two? How’s that baby going?”

“She’s good.” Jasper and Ryan answer at the same time.

Beth laughs at them. “You can tell you are parents.”

“I know. It’s pathetic, isn’t it? First conversation we’re having is about our kid.” Jasper sighs with a content smile on his face.

“I think it’s sweet. Though to be honest, I’m starting to feel a little left behind. I know I’m still young, but that clock just feels like it’s ticking. I want to get to the part of my life where I can experience the joy of being a parent.”

“It’s a joy. But the kind of joy that comes with no time to yourself and a complete loss of sanity.” Jasper huffs as he swings from one monkey bar to the next. He gets to the end and turns back to watch Ryan skip the first three bars, then crossing each bar one handed. “Such a show off, right?” Jasper says to Beth, but she’s busy making threatening hand gestures at Brayden, not like Jasper, who was fixated on the tensing and relaxing of Ryan’s biceps.

“What?” Ryan hangs on the last bar before the ladder Jasper and Beth are waiting on.

“See that vein on your arm?” Jasper points. Ryan glances at his tensed upper arm, then back at Jasper. “I want to run my tongue along it. But that feels inappropriate given we’re in a playground.”

“Get a hobby.” Ryan teases, then starts swinging back and forwards to build up the momentum to reach and wrap his legs around the pole Jasper is holding. He lets go of the bar, using just his leg muscles to keep him from falling. He leans back and does two very effortless looking sit-ups before Jasper loses his patience.

“Do you have any idea how agonizing you are to be around sometimes?” Jasper smacks Ryan’s stomach, almost eliminating him.

*** 

They didn’t win the challenge and Jasper decided he couldn’t be in a team with Ryan or he’d end up doing something indecent. So, as they take on the tug-of-war challenge, it’s Girls and Ryan, against the rest of the guys.

Tug of war ended with a tie. The boys‘ team would like to say they politely didn’t destroy their lady opponents, but truthfully, it’d been a fairly even struggle with Ryan anchoring the girls’ rope. They didn’t want to admit that they’d used all their strength and been barely able to budge the rope.

On the next challenge, everyone is simply sent to find ten marbles each in a maze of old looking streets and houses.

“Hey, how many do you have?” Ryan asks, slipping his arm around Jasper.

“6, you?”

“12.” Ryan takes two and passes them to Jasper.

“Oh, there’s another.” Jasper says, rushing over to a wall and picking up the next marble.

“Found another one.” Ryan offers another to Jasper.

“Sweet, that was easier than I thought it’d...” Jasper doesn’t finish his sentence before he’s interrupted by Ryan pressing him against the wall and kissing him hard, though it’s only a moment before they are caught.

“Been a while since I’ve walked in on you guys making out.”

Jasper laughs, stepping away from Ryan. “Sorry Simon.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s good to see you guys still going strong considering, well, everything in the media.” Simon shrugs.

“Speaking of, I thought you and Kara were getting divorced?”

“Nah, we staged that to take the heat off you during the tour. Though, clearly, I’m not popular enough to take the attention off you for more than 5 minutes.”

“Honestly, I could do with less attention.” Jasper sighs.

“I don’t miss the spotlight at all. Are you doing ok though? I saw the article about the relapse...”

“I didn’t relapse. I’m staying alcohol sober. I don’t want to risk it with my meds.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’re in control of things. Are you still studying?”

“Failing. Not sure which deprivation to blame, but I’m getting nowhere with any music ideas and I’m supposed to record and produce a demo for an assessment.”

“Well, if it’s just a song you need, I’ve written heaps. You make good money as a songwriter.” Simon offers.

“That’d actually be a massive help, thanks.”

“No worries. I’ll come around some time, and we can work on a song together. You in, Luke?” Simon calls out as Luke walks past. He repeats what they were talking about and Luke gives a grin.

“Absolutely. I need to get back into it.”

As much as Jasper, Luke and Simon hadn’t been that close in the band, the thought of working with them again was comforting. For a long time, he didn’t think they would ever be able to reunite as a band without it feeling ‘wrong’ but he felt nothing but excitement over the idea now. He loved being a solo artist, but he missed the social aspect and having others to develop the songs and the sounds with. It’d be nice to go back to being part of something, instead of trying to do it all himself.

*** 

“We’re expecting nothing. Her fertility was already an issue and now that she’s had a ruptured tube and ovary removal, we’re even less likely. But you know. Zak was already more than we thought we’d have and there’s no harm in just not using protection, you know? If by some miracle we find ourselves pregnant, we’ll be thrilled.” Luke says quietly at the back of the line at the final room.

“Grace wants me to get a vasectomy. She’s not keen on contraception because apparently it fucks with her hormones too much and we for sure don’t want any more kids. We’re already outnumbered and knowing our luck, we’d end up having another set of twins. Even one more kid at this point would be too much. But I don’t want anyone chopping my balls off.” Flynn replies.

Jasper rolls his eyes. “Dude, it’s like keyhole surgery these days. Man up. She grew and pushed out four babies. Her body deserves a break. Then you don’t have to worry about her hormones being all fucked up or making sure you have condoms.”

Flynn shrugs. “I’ve just been pulling out.”

Jasper stares at him. “If you get my sister pregnant, I will give you a fucking vasectomy myself with a set of kitchen shears. Use protection dickhead.”

*** 

“So. That wasn't exactly the date night I had in mind.” Jasper comments as he and Ryan arrive home.

“I know. I wanted to help with your friends, though. Remind you how many people you actually do have, and they all had the night free, so I figured that’s not likely to happen for another decade.” Ryan yawns.

“I get that and I appreciate it. It was a great night. But all I really want is to spend time with you.” Jasper says, swinging his arms over Ryan’s shoulders and looking into his eyes with a sweet smile.

“Hey.” Ryan sighs, taking Jasper’s hips. “I know things have been a bit difficult with adjusting to your medications. I didn’t want you to feel pressure for tonight to end up going that way, and then you being upset again.”

“Yeah.” Jasper shrugs, slipping his arms off Ryan’s shoulders and pulling away.

“Babe...”

“It kinda feels like a copout, Ry. You’ve not been interested in ages, and now you have an excuse not to be intimate with me. What am I losing you to? Is it someone from the show?”

“Losing me? You’re not losing me, Jas.”

“I’m coming second best to nothing?”

“You’re never second best.”

“In your head, does that sound reassuring? You’ve lost all interest in me and you can’t even give me the decency of a reason. I’ve been trying, Ry. The least you could do is tell me where I’m going wrong.” Jasper states calmly.

“You haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve just been distracted with work stuff.” Ryan tells him. “I love you, ok. It’s not about that. I’m sorry.”

“I wake up and watch you leave. I miss you all day. You get home and if I’m lucky, sometimes you speak to me and then you sleep facing the other way and that’s been how it is for months. We’ve drifted apart, and I’m the only one trying to hold us together right now.”

“You’re right. I got complacent. I’m sorry.”

“Wanna tell me what you’ve really been doing when you’ve been ‘at rehearsals?’”

“I have been dancing. I don’t get to do much of it myself when I’ve been teaching choreography, and it’s been helping me manage my stress. That’s why I hang around when everyone else leaves. To clear my head and reset.”

“I’m so happy for you that you’ve got something like that while I’ve given up and lost everything that ever helped me, including your support. Fuck, Ryan. I’m here every day with stress just piling on me and it’s never ending and I never get a break from it. I can’t write music while Jazzy is around because she needs me the whole time to be physically and emotionally present. I can’t go and do interviews or perform or mingle because I have to be home to look after her. Do you care at all that while you’re doing things for you, I’m at home losing pieces of me? I love Jasmyn, but I didn’t choose to do this all on my own. I chose to do this for you.”

“I’m sorry.” Ryan didn’t know what else to say. He knew, in a sense, that he’d been selfish, but only now, when Jasper said it all out loud, did he really understand just how much he’d failed Jasper. He places his hand on Jasper’s and despite the clear reluctance as Jasper draws in a heavy breath and lets it out with a frustrated sigh, he takes Ryan’s hand. “What can I do to help you?” Ryan asks.

Jasper laughs, annoyed. “If you wanted to help, you’d start by taking the initiative and responsibility for things. It shouldn’t take me telling you where you’re letting me down. Because if I have to tell you, then you’re not showing me that I matter enough. You should know Ryan. You know how I can tell when you’re lying to me? Because I care enough to notice. If you don’t care enough to notice what I need, then that’s on you. Don’t make it my job to keep you accountable. I have enough to be responsible for.” Jasper says, dropping Ryan’s hand and walking away, totally pissed.

Determined not to give Jasper enough time to pull new conclusions from thin air, Ryan goes after him. “I told you I’m stepping back. That’s why we had tonight to spend together. I don’t want to spend the first proper time we’ve had off together in months, arguing like this.”

“I didn’t want to either, but...”

“Ok, so stop.” Ryan grabs his arm.

“Stop?”

“Yes. Stop. Breathe for a second. You said your piece and you might still be mad at me, but I listened. I understand what you were saying and I apologize. Yes, I’ve been selfish and you deserve better from me. I’m sorry. I hear you and I promise I’m not going to let you down anymore. And sure, I should have taken initiative. I really didn’t realize how much you were struggling at home and that’s not good enough, either. I love you and I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel this way.” Sensing Jasper’s anger calming, Ryan pulls him in for a hug.

“I’m ok. I’m ok, aren’t I?” Jasper asks.

“You’re ok.” Ryan assures him.

Jasper sighs, pressing his forehead against Ryan’s. “I ruined our first date night.”

“Date night isn’t over. What do you want to do?”

“I was going to be cute.” Jasper shrugs.

“I always think you’re cute. Be more specific.”

“Shut up. You’re just saying that because you have to.”

“Who said I have to?”

“It was in the fine print of the marriage certificate.”

“Ok, either you’re making shit up, or I didn’t read that certificate at all.”

“I wanted to watch Chicago with you.”

“You want to watch a musical? Now who’s sucking up?” Ryan smirks.

“Maybe a little.” Jasper admits with a sigh. “You’re not the only one who could have been doing better in this relationship lately. I did think about seeing it for the first time on the stage but...”

“Oh god no, you have to see the original first. It’s incredible.” Jasper stands back in silence, a small smile on his face. “What?”

“Nothing. Come on. I’ll make the popcorn.”

“You’re really serious about this date thing.”

“What part of me putting on a suit earlier made you think I wasn’t taking this seriously?” Jasper does a spin. “Meet you on the couch in 5 minutes.”

Ryan watches Jasper head back down the stairs before turning around and coming back up. “You ok?”

“I’m sorry. What the fuck was that entire conversation? It felt very real in the moment, but I feel stupid now.”

Ryan smiles wraps his arms around Jasper for a gentle hug. “No need to feel stupid. You needed to tell me how you were feeling. I actually think we handled that fairly well.”

“It’s lucky we’re married because this has not been much of a date night.” Jasper sighs.

“Well, maybe a movie about cheating, murder, deceit and fame will fix it. Who knows?” Ryan says sarcastically, making Jasper laugh.

“Maybe we made it this far because we didn’t go on dates. We’re terrible at this.”

*** 

Ryan and Jasper make the most of being kid free to sleep in the next morning. So used to the early wake-ups, though, Jasper is still first out of bed and by the time Ryan wakes he finds himself alone in the house. He takes a long and rare uninterrupted shower, thinking over their night and all the ways it’d failed to be romantic. Ryan had tried to organize something fun and different for them to do, to help Jasper rebuild his friendships. It felt like the right thing to do, but it’d triggered an insecurity in Jasper that Ryan had lost interest.

Truthfully, Ryan had lost interest. Not in Jasper as his husband and the person he shared a child and his whole life with, but intimacy had been so lacking for so long that even being cuddled on the couch together watching a movie hadn’t felt as natural as he’d have liked. The few flirty exchanges between them had been great, but overall, the relationship felt like it was just a little disconnected at the moment.

At some point last night, Grace had pulled him aside and told him that Jasper had gone to her for advice. She made a good point to Ryan, saying, “flames don’t re-light themselves.”

Jasper comes home just as Ryan is getting ready to go out. He presses a kiss to Jasper’s cheek, telling him he has to go to the dress rehearsal and feeling an awful amount of guilt at the disappointment on Jasper’s face. He knew he was failing on his promise already, to be around more and to help with Jasmyn. But what hurts the most is the sceptical look Jasper gives when Ryan tries to promise he’ll only be a couple of hours. He’d said that too many times to be believed anymore and as he drives away from the house, all he can think is how much he wanted to turn the car around and re-light their flame. There was nothing he wanted more. But obligation sends him to the theatre.

*** 

Ryan gets home to the smell of a roast, but it’s not the hunger he’s trying to satiate. He practically storms through the door and straight to the kitchen where Jasper is cooking.

“What are you doing home?” Jasper asks, surprised to see Ryan actually home when he said he would be, for once.

Ryan doesn’t speak, just walks up to Jasper and grabs him by the belt loops on his pants, pulling him in and kissing him hard as he backs him against the counter.

“Ry.” Jasper gulps as Ryan’s lips trail to his neck. “As much as I love the enthusiasm...”

“No excuses. I don’t care if the world is ending. We need this.” Ryan’s words were hot and filled with lust.

“My parents are here.”

Ryan freezes and steps back, looking around. “Where?”

Jasper chews his lips, giving an apologetic smile. “Upstairs bathing Jazzy.”

“Why are your parents here?” Ryan asks, more frustrated than he intended on it sounding.

“It’s Sunday. They’ve been coming here for dinner every Sunday night for months. Although I’d have cancelled if I knew you’d be home and in this mood.”

“Great.” Ryan groans, stepping away from Jasper and turning away, trying to catch his thoughts. “Do you want me to go?”

“Why would I want that? I don’t even want you to go when you have a good reason.”

Ryan shrugs, turning back to Jasper. “Avoiding your parents is a good reason.”

“Don’t be like that Ry. This may be a good thing for you. See the changes they’ve made.” Jasper suggests with a smile.

Ryan steps into Jasper’s personal space, lowering his voice. “I’m not sure I can have dinner with your parents when all I want is to spend the night making love to you.” Ryan’s words and the tone send a shiver up Jasper’s spine. “And I just don’t think I could sit at the dinner table with them, while I’m picturing the way your body shudders when you're about to cum.” His hand slips to Jasper’s hip as he whispers. “And listening to you talk while my mind is replaying the sound of you cursing dirtily at me as you let yourself...”

Jasper felt like he was going to die. “Ry...”

“And I can’t sit with your parents and eat, while my tongue is wishing it was enjoying the flavour of every sweet inch of your body.” Ryan breathes against Jasper’s neck.

“Do you have any idea how mad I’m about to be, that you are choosing now to do this to me?” Jasper asks in an annoyed whisper.

“You think you’re mad now? Just wait until you realise how hard you are right now.” Ryan’s hand slips from Jasper’s hip, fingertips grazing over his crotch.

Jasper’s hand snaps around Ryan’s wrist, stopping him from going any further. He takes a deep breath and lets it slowly. “You are agonizing. Do not touch, look at or breathe in my direction until my parents leave or I’ll ruin all the good steps forward we’ve been taking.” Jasper orders. Ryan places a kiss on his shoulder and moves to lean against the bench, looking at Jasper while he tries to regain enough brain cells to safely get the roast from the oven.

“I love you.” Ryan smiles. Jasper places the roast beside him on the bench and grabs a knife, holding it up almost threateningly.

“I love you too, even when I want to stab you.”

“Oh look, Jasmyn. Your daddy is home.” Jasper’s mum steals their attention as she walks in with their daughter, all snug in a fluffy onesie and ready to go to sleep. The moment she sees Ryan, though, her eyes light up, and she starts sooking for him.

“Hey baby girl, want a cuddle?” Ryan walks around the bench and reaches out for Jasmyn. He and Jasper’s mum acknowledge each other as she passes over Jasmyn, though it’s awkward.

“Are you home for dinner tonight, Ryan?” she asks.

“Uh...”

“Yep,” Jasper answers with a grin over towards Ryan.

With the table set, everyone takes their places. Ryan sits beside Jasper, holding Jasmyn while she drinks her bottle, which gives him an excuse not to hold hands with Jasper and his dad while his mum says grace. It was weird for him to see this. He’d not been too involved in Jasper’s renewed religious practices, so in a way it is surprising to see him connecting so deeply with it.

“It’s nice to have you here, Ryan. Jasper tells us you’ve been extremely busy with rehearsals for a musical.” Ryan’s mum asks.

“Chicago, yes.” Ryan’s answer is short and Jasper casts him a glance.

Jasper changes the topic. “Dad, how are things at church going?”

“We’ve had a difficult week, I’ll admit. The response was higher than we anticipated and it’s left us with some challenges. Today alone, I had three queer teenagers come to me asking for help to communicate with their families about their sexuality.”

Ryan looks over at Jasper’s dad, absolutely thrown by what he was hearing.

“Mum and dad are using their position at church to promote an LGBTQ+ safe environment. Helping families with queer members find peace with their religious beliefs and their loved ones’ sexuality to assist in bridging that gap.” Jasper informs Ryan with a proud smile.

“I’ll admit I’m a little out of my depth. But in coming to terms with Jasper and your relationship, I’ve gone through the bible thoroughly again and again to try and find comfort or answers. I appreciate that we’ve been able to reconnect and respect each other while still having a connection to our faith. I’m only hoping to assist others in being able to do the same. However, I’m finding many families aren’t as willing. We have a young man at the moment who came to us for refuge after his family kicked him out. We’re worried that this may become a more prevalent issue and we’re not set up to take on other people. Certainly not youths anyway.”

“Oh, we should look into safe houses for these kids!” Jasper turns to Ryan excitedly, though covering his mouth as Jasmyn jolts awake in Ryan’s arms.

Ryan gently rocks her back to sleep. “We could look into it, but you’ve already got a lot going on, babe. That’d be a massive commitment. We’re still learning how to look after one kid.”

“She’s a baby. These kids will be easy. It’s just a matter of finding somewhere for them to stay...”

“And ensuring its safe for all those staying. Which means ensuring that there aren’t people that fit the spectrum of ‘queer and homeless’ that might be a threat to the younger ones there. That’s a very difficult community. They need a lot of emotional support and often end up in toxic relationships doing things they are too young to be doing because they are being offered the comfort of companionship.”

“Ok. So, we’d have to really think about it. But it’s obviously an important area that needs support and we’re in a position where we can assist in the setup.”

“We have the money. We don’t have the time. That’s what I’m saying. These kids need the time and the emotional support for their mental health and their sexual health. We’d need to have counsellors that specialize in providing that. We'd need some kind of sex ed for the kids, to empower them to understand how to be safe with exploring their sexuality. We’d need age limits on buildings and each person would need their own room and we’d need rules on alcohol and drugs. Security present to protect people from being pressured into things. You can’t put a bunch of hormonal, confused teenagers with abandonment and rejection issues together. The co-dependency is rampant in that age group of queer kids because they are so desperate to be understood by someone, they would all end up hooking up for comfort and before you know it, we’d be dealing with STD outbreaks, underage nude photos scandals and underage sex scandals with vulnerable kids that don’t know better.”

Jasper nods, taking it in. “True.”

For a moment, dinner turns uncomfortably silent, then Jasper’s mum starts crying. “I’m sorry we turned you away, darling. I am so sorry we put you in danger,” she sobs.

“I wasn’t in danger, mum. I was living with Blake. I was fine.” Jasper reaches across the table to comfortingly hold her hand.

“Yeah, you were lucky,” Ryan states, looking down at Jasmyn, peacefully asleep in his arms. His thoughts on how a parent could ever do that to their child forcing a bubbling anger in him. He gets up from the table, not wanting to spoil whatever good this apology was doing for Jasper. “I’m going to put Jazzy to bed.”

*** 

“They are making an effort, Ry.” Jasper sighs as he cleans up after dinner.

“I know. And I respect that.”

“I mean, mum cried.” Jasper shrugs and looks over at Ryan, who just shrugs back. “I’ve let it go. You should too.”

“You let it go because you were lucky enough to not be traumatized by their selfishness.”

“Right, so you’re mad at them because I could have been hurt.”

“I’m mad at them because they took that risk. They didn’t know you’d be safe, and they chose the risk, over protecting you. I don’t care how lucky and how safe you were. They didn’t care either at the time. Hindsight is great, but it doesn’t absolve that they were willing to risk your safety, because you didn’t align with their beliefs.”

“I know. That’s why they are trying to do better for others.” Jasper sighs, sitting up on the bench and crossing his arms as he watches Ryan finish drying and putting away the dishes.

Ryan throws the tea towel on the bench and walks over to Jasper, placing his hands on his knees. “I love the effort they have made to accept you and be part of your life. I’m glad I stayed for dinner so I could see that myself.”

“It takes a lot to change a lifelong perspective. And they did that so they could love me as I am. That’s a big deal. Yes, it’d been nice if I didn’t have to completely fall apart to make them realize I am their child and I deserve their respect. But I’m not going to waste their efforts by resenting their mistakes anymore.”

“Speaking of not wasting things. We have a sleeping baby.” Ryan turns to Jasper with a suggestive smile.

“Hold that thought...” Jasper jumps down from the bench and rushes off out of the room.

Ryan finishes putting away the last of the dishes, then heads upstairs to find where Jasper had run off to. He checks on Jasmyn’s room as he passes, making sure she is still sleeping soundly. The bedroom is empty, the bedside lamps on giving off a soft glow.

“Where are you?” Ryan asks as he walks into the bedroom, looking around with a frown. The bathroom door opens and a leg in black fishnets curls around the doorframe seductively. “Oh, dear god no.” Ryan laughs.

“Come on, babe~ we’re gonna paint the town~” Jasper steps into the doorway, placing his hands on his hips and showing that he’s completely naked, other than the fishnets and a black leather garter. The whole look completely throwing Ryan. “And all that jazz~” Jasper says with dramatic jazz hands as he makes his way to Ryan. “I’m gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down~” Jasper places his hands on Ryan’s chest and slides down until he’s on his knees with his hands holding the top of Ryan’s pants. "And all that jazz~"

“This is not, at all, what I expected to come home to. Where in hell did you get a garter from and why? I mean, I know why, but... Why?” Ryan is trying to stifle a confused laugh. Jasper stands up and turns around to check himself out in the mirror, giving Ryan a spectacular view, too.

“I’m not sure it’s my thing, but I’m being an enthusiastic supporter of your career. Also, I’ve been binging Drag Race since I’m the stay-at-home dad right now.” Jasper chews his lip thoughtfully and turns back to Ryan, who is just eyeing him with an amused and affectionate smile. “And maybe I’m feeling a little insecure since we’ve been too busy for intimacy and you’re off with these sexy dancers all the time and you’re coming home to me, low effort and smelling like baby. I felt like the relationship might benefit from a bold move.” Jasper adds.

"I don't think you can call yourself insecure when you're wearing nothing but fishnets." Ryan replies, standing up and plucking at the garter strap. "You are ridiculous, and I love you. I sincerely hope you do this for every musical I get to work on."

"Challenge accepted."

“I’m a little scared of how quickly you got this outfit together.” Ryan laughs, plucking at the garter straps.

Jasper shrugs. “Your mum didn’t drop Jazzy back until the early afternoon. I had plenty of time. Besides, there’s literally not much to it. I was just so inspired by the movie.”

“You didn’t even watch the movie. You were looking at me the whole time.”

“You know, I like watching you enjoy things.” Jasper says with a cheeky smirk. “Besides, you can’t talk. You’re the one that fell asleep.”

“That was your fault. You went from deliberately over reaching for the popcorn so you could teasingly run your hand over my crotch every few minutes...”

Jasper can’t stifle the smirk on his face.

“...to stroking my arm in such stupidly soothing patterns, I couldn’t keep my eyes open.” Ryan holds Jasper’s waist with one hand, the other sliding up his smooth back, fingers threading into his hair, and he brings him in for a heated kiss. He’d been wanting to do this since last night. Since about the third time, Jasper’s hand had grazed over his lap, searching for the popcorn bowl that had been sitting between them. Ryan had seen that fucking smirk and wanted to kiss him and touch him until Jasper felt anything but in control. He’d tried to, but Jasper had insisted on being a good husband and watching the movie to support Ryan’s interest.

Ryan had suspected that Jasper wasn’t wanting to go further because of the effect of his medications, but that issue was well and truly nonexistent now.

Jasper sighs, leaning into the kiss, forcing Ryan backwards until the back of his legs reach the bed. Ryan sits, pulling Jasper down on top of him. The intensity of the kiss escalates as Jasper is now grinding on Ryan’s lap.

Ryan’s fingers grip his hair tighter.

Jasper expertly undoes each button without breaking rhythm with his hips or tongue. The moment he’s finished, he breaks the kiss and pushes Ryan flat against the bed. His lips abandon Ryan’s and he trails his tongue down Ryan’s body, crawling down and off the bed. He feels a burn of resentment that Ryan could look this good and yet Jasper hadn’t been able to enjoy him in so long. As he passes Ryan’s navel, he deviates towards Ryan’s hip, smiling as Ryan flinches at the torment of Jasper’s tongue that traced along the top of his pants slowly.

“Don’t you... Oh god.” Ryan laughs as he fights the urge to push Jasper off when he playfully bites right where he knew Ryan was most sensitive. His strength fails him after a few moments and he lets out a groan, fully prepared to beg Jasper and just deal with his insufferably pleased lover. Jasper thankfully stops before Ryan goes completely insane with the rush of nerves that were running through him. Ryan props himself on his elbows to watch as Jasper undoes his pants.

Just to be painful, Jasper holds eye contact and undoes the zipper as slowly as he can, the smirk on his face widening as the anticipation on Ryan’s face turns to frustration.

Everything melts away as Ryan feels Jasper's tongue being dragged all over him. He’d forgotten this was a new perk and throws his head back with a sigh. He’d also forgotten how good this was and every ignited nerve was sending the thought to his brain to make this happen more often. The heat of Jasper’s mouth, the movement of his lips and tongue and the added sensation of the bar soon has him gripping the edge of the bed with one hand and Jasper’s hair with the other, torn between completely indulging, and stopping him before things escalate beyond control.

His brain screaming at him to let Jasper finish him off, but somehow his thoughts and his actions don’t match up. The unfair contradiction that this was all too good to let end, so he’d had to forfeit his enjoyment to be able to do this for longer. He sits, tugging Jasper’s hair to encourage him up, his other hand swiftly moving behind Jasper’s back to pull him forwards. Something about the hurried crawl Jasper does to get to Ryan’s lips sends a surge of lust and need through Ryan. He wraps his legs around Jasper’s waist and rolls so fast it forces a gasp from Jasper as he hits the bed.

As if wanting to suffocate him, Ryan’s lips press against Jasper’s and his tongue sweeps between his lips. Ryan groans into his mouth with undeniable hunger. His hand runs down Jasper’s body, but the moment his fingers wrap around him, he wishes he could clone himself and pleasure Jasper multiple ways all at once. He didn’t want a break from Jasper’s hot mouth, but he couldn’t stand another second swallowing down the gentle sighs Jasper was eliciting.

Somehow Jasper’s moans and curses were balanced equal parts on edge and completely insatiable. Ryan could not get enough of how good each sound was. Those talented vocal chords being used for nothing but breathlessly sultry ‘fuck’-s, every few moments. The thrill of bringing him right to the edge and watching him gasp as his body aches. Withheld the two seconds of Ryan’s mouth that it’d take to bring him the relief he craved.

Jasper needed this to end so badly that he felt almost completely incapacitated. Ryan had succeeded. That teasing smirk was long gone, replaced by a lust lidded eyes and a mouth going dry from hanging open. He’s vaguely aware that Ryan has moved to get himself ready. Ryan pulls him by the garter belt closer.

“You ok?” He asks with a grin, before kissing Jasper’s neck.

“Mm~” is all Jasper can say back.

Ryan gives an amused laugh, lining himself up and letting out a groan as their bodies perfectly fall in sync in the blissful pattern they’d deprived themselves of for too long. Ecstasy courses through them, forcing any restraint and control to be lost to urge.

Brought back to life by the relief of this sensation, Jasper grabs Ryan’s shoulders and pushes him off and against the bed, climbing on top of him, one hand resting on Ryan’s chest and the other holding the head of the bed. Ryan grips the garter, still not sure he was into the look, but enjoying the way it felt to be able to pull Jasper around by it, actually. He brings Jasper’s hips down with force, making each movement build up more aggressively until Jasper can’t contain himself anymore, throwing his head back and letting go. Complete fulfillment writhes through him, making everywhere tingle all at once as each roll of his body slows in time with the waves of overwhelming pleasure, leading Ryan to his only moments later.

Jasper practically falls off Ryan, lying beside him on the bed, catching his breath and coming back down from the clouds he’d been lost in. When their breathing finally settles to a normal pace, they both look at each other with a frown, hearing the soft cry from down the hall.

“I’ll check on her.” Ryan rolls out of bed, grabbing his pants and pulling them on as he heads out the door.

When he comes back 15 minutes later, Jasper is still lying exactly how Ryan left him.

“Was she alright?” Jasper mutters.

“Yeah, just teething. I gave her some teething gel, and she’s gone back to sleep. You ok?” Ryan asks, climbing in the bed and lying beside him.

“Yeah.” Jasper smiles up at the ceiling.

“You sure? You seem like you’re in a bit of a daze.”

“I think my body is just rebooting. I feel invigorated.” Jasper turns his head and looks across at Ryan, reaching a hand out and running his fingers across Ryan’s chest. “I love you.”

Ryan smiles, taking Jasper’s hand and placing it over his shoulder as he rolls closer. He leans down, pressing a lingering, sweet kiss against Jasper’s lips. He feels Jasper’s lips curl into a smile and sink against him, wrapping an arm under his shoulders and deepening the kiss again. That flame between them more than reignited.

Jasper pulls back, folding his arms on Ryan’s chest, a cheeky look in his eyes. “Really? Again?”

“Why not? It’s a rare opportunity and we have time. Go hard or go home, right?”

“Well, we’re already home, so I guess...”

“I fucking love you.” Ryan’s comment surprises Jasper. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“No seriously, what was that look for?”

“I just sometimes wonder if you really do still feel that way. But you just said that with such... I don’t know. It just came out certain and...”

“Of course it came out certain.” Ryan smiles, leaning in. “Because I sincerely...” he kisses softly on the corner of Jasper’s lips. “Unconditionally...” Ryan kissed the other corner of Jasper’s lips, then ghosts his lips over Jasper’s. “Certainly, fucking love you,” he whispers.