Never walk alone- Walk on - 15. Chapter 15

As per the arrangements that Jamie had outlined to them with regard to the funeral, at dawn on Thursday morning, Beth and Nicky's bodies were brought to Achnacarry. The one blessing was that dawn was in fact just after 8am.
The boys had left the children sleeping under the watchful eye of one of the maids, and were downstairs when the two hearses pulled up at the main entrance to the castle, where both the front doors stood wide open. The weather echoed the solemn occasion. Dark, grey, moody and cold. More snow was forecast for later in the day.

The adult family were all downstairs to greet them, already dressed for the difficult day ahead. They lined up on either side of the stairs leading to the open doorway, Iona and Jenny supporting one another and weeping softly. Twelve clansmen in kilts and black jackets approached the two vehicles as the drivers opened the rear doors, and took up positions facing one another. The dark wood caskets were slowly pulled out of the hearses and the handles were grasped by each clansmen. The hearses drove away and the two matching caskets were slowly borne through the doorway and into the drawing room where the black draped biers awaited them guarded by four pipers. The caskets were reverently placed on the biers and the face plates were removed to reveal Beth and Nicky's faces. The pastor who would preside over the service was already present, and he offered a short prayer and blessing, before stepping back and inviting the family to view the deceased as the doors to the room were closed .

What followed was something they would remember forever, as Iona and Jenny sobbed bitterly over their daughters caskets, their husbands in close support, trying desperately to be strong, but in the end, failing miserably.

Ryan and Andrew held one another close as they too wept silent tears, feeling the huge sense of loss and knowing just how much more the parents must be feeling it. A parent should not have to bury their child. But here, right before them , that very event was happening. Twice!

When the Camerons and the Smiths eventually moved a little way from the bier, Andrew and Ryan were invited to step closer, which they did with some uncertainty. Neither had ever viewed the body of a deceased person. When Andrew's parents had been killed in the motor vehicle accident, they were identified by the partly burned docu-ments that had been found on them.
Both of them registered mild surprise as they saw Beth's face. At first, it appeared as though she was just sleeping peacefully, but yet, a closer look showed them that the reality was very different. Although her face had make-up skillfully applied, nothing could dispel the waxy texture to her skin, that only comes with death. They gazed down at the beautiful woman who had given life to their children, and the tears ran unhindered down their faces. Andrew reached into his jacket pocket and withdrew a photograph of her four children playing together in front of the fire in the bedroom upstairs. Andrew had caught them unawares and they had all looked up when he had called to them, still smiling. He had then printed the photograph on the printer in Donald's office. He lifted Beth's cold hand and slipped the photograph under it, ensuring that she would be buried with it. With one final soft 'thank you', they turned away, spent a fewminutes with Nicky, only Ryan was the one to whisper 'thank you', and then walked to where the rest of the immediate family had gathered, including Donald, noting that the doors to the room were being opened again and seeing, with more surprise, the line of people stretching through the foyer, waiting patiently to pay their last respects.

"Are Jamie and Fiona expected to view the bodies as well?", Andrew queried. "I'm not sure that I am entirely happy with that".

"That is up to you, Andrew", Donald replied. "As their legal guardians, that is yours and Ryan's decision. There will be no pressure whatsoever".

"It's just that I would prefer them to remember Beth and Nicky alive, rather than dead". Donald and Jamie nodded.

"We understand completely. If that is how you feel, then so be it", Jamie added

The line people began moving into the room and past the caskets and Andrew and Ryan excused themselves.

"We need to return to the bedroom", Ryan explained. We don't want the children, especially Jamie and Fiona to wakd up and think that we have left them as well. Please excuse us".

"Would you mind", Andrew added, " if we had breakfast sent upstairs. It might be a good idea to keep the little ones there until we have to leave for the chapel"

"No problem. It's a very good idea. I'll arrange with chef to send breakfast up to you", Donald replied.

Back upstairs, they were relieved to find Cameron and Elizabeth awake, but Jamie and Fiona still asleep, although they both woke up within minutes of their return. They quickly got them all washed and into comfortable clothes before breakfast arrived - piping hot oats porridge, bacon, sausage, scrambled egg and grilled tomato with wholewheat toast. There was two jugs of freshly squeezed orange juice and tea, coffee & hot chocolate.

While they were having breakfast, Andrew's laptop dinged, notifying him of a Skype call. When he turned the screen on, it was Paul and Marie calling from Calgary. Marie was crying.

"Andrew, we just spoke to Janice who told us what had happened. Why didn't you call us?", Marie asked indignantly through her tears.

"Hi Marie, hi Paul. I really must apologise. Things were so mad after we found out. In the rush to get to Scotland, I forgot to call you. I thought about it at one stage and then realised it was the middle of the night in Calgary,and then with all the rushing around to get everything arranged, it slipped my mind. And then things have been a bit hectic since we arrived. I really am very sorry", Andrew explained .

"Hi Drew. Hi Ryan", Paul added. "We are absolutely stunned at the news that Beth and Nicky are dead. We saw something on the news about a ferry accident in Scotland, but never thought that anyone we know might be involved. We are so sorry for your loss. Janice told us the kids are safe. How are they? And how are you guys handling it?"

"Thanks Paul", Andrew replied. "Jamie and Fiona are doing okay. As I told mom, they're sad and scared and confused. They are right here with us having breakfast before meeting with the attorney for the reading of the wills. Ry and I have been made legal guardians as per Beth and Nicky's wills, and they will be going back to Cape Town with us when we leave"

"Oh god, Andrew, I am so sad. For you and for them", Marie said. "I'm just glad that you and Ryan are with the little mites. When is the funeral? And how long will you still be in Scotland?"

"This morning, straight after our meeting with the attorney. We fly home tomorrow evening with Dan & Joan Kinley".

"Oh, How come they are in Scotland as well?", Marie questioned, sounding slightly miffed.

"They were actually on route to Cape Town and stopped off in London for some meetings. Joan saw a list of victims from the accident on the TV news, and called me. At the time I was trying to find us all a flight back home. When we left Cape Town, neither of us gave a thought to the possibility that we would be going home with two more children. When I tried to amend our flight reservations, the flights were all full. When Joan found out, she insisted we fly out with them on their jet. She also said they would be at the funeral 'come hell or high water".

"Oh good. That's at least one less thing to worry about. Give the children all a hug from us. We are all in out thoughts".

"Thanks guys. And I really am sorry I didn't call you. I feel really bad"

"No sweat, Drew", Paul replied. "We understand fully. We need to get to bed. Look after yourselves"

"Thank you, both of you. Hugs to the boys as well"

At 9.30, a knock on the door heralded the arrival of the Camerons and the Smiths accompanied by Donald and the attorney. Extra armchairs were brought in as well and placed in a semicircle in front of the fire. Once they were alone, the attorney proceeded to read the wills, which were essentially as described by Donald.

Andrew and Ryan were granted total custody of Jamie and Fiona. In addition, a trust had been set up for all the children into which the proceeds of the balance of both estates would go, which the attorney estimated to be in the region of about £750 000 UK pounds, once all the assets had been liquidated and expenses paid.

"Lastly, a life insurance policy taken out on both Beth and Nickys lives, in the amount of £500 000 UK pounds will go to Andrew & Ryan Devlin-Major. And I have a video message here from Beth, that I have been instructed to play. He inserted the disc into his laptop.

"Andrew and Ryan. We give that money to you to do with whatever you want. But knowing you both, I think I can be sure that it will eventually go to our children. But I really, really want you to spend some of it on yourselves. As a thank you for giving me the indescribable joy of being the mother of our four beautiful children. I could not have done that without you and I thank you with all my heart for that privilege. Knowing you has made me a better person, and allowed me to live a full, contented, fulfilled life. If you are hearing this message, it means my life has come to a sudden end. I hand over my parental responsibility to you, knowing that you will love Jamie and Fiona just as much as you love Cameron and Elizabeth. I love you both dearly. Take good care of my darlings. Beth.'

There was a lot of tears in the room. Even the attorneys eyes were shining as he looked at them.

"That's it. I have documents for you to sign with regard to the two minor children, as well as their passports and all the documents you require, signed by both Beth and Nicky, and duly witnessed, which will allow you to take the minor children out of the country and home with you"

A few minutes and some florishes of signatures later, Jamie and Fiona were legally theirs.
Once everyone had left, they sat quietly with the children, just holding them and giving them all, especially Jamie and Fiona a sense of security and of being loved. They also explained what was going to be happening.

Then it was time to get them dressed for the event that neither Andrew nor Ryan were looking forward to attending. But attend they must. They had no choice.

At 10.30, the doors to the drawing room were closed to all except family and selected friends and clansmen, who paid their final respects and the coffins were closed. At 10.45 the clansmen lifted the coffins off the biers and carried them to the main door, led by the four pipers who had been on guard. A small gathering stood around observing as the pipers arranged their bagpipes, two drummers joining them. Then as the plaintive skirl of the bagpipes filled the cold air, playing what they were later told was 'Lochaber no more', the solemn cortege slowly began making their way across the garden and up the hill towards the chapel, followed by the family, and the gathered observers fell in behind them, the snow crunching under their shoes.

The four children, all holding hands, walked immediately behind the caskets, with Andrew and Ryan on either side of them, all wearing scarves in the Cameron tartan. Jamie Snr, Iona, Ken and Jenny were behind them and Donald, with his family, just for now, were behind them, for once having to accept a lesser position. The two bereaved mothers walked with theif arms around one anothers waists, each displaying a framed photograph of their daughters, Jamie Snr and Ken on either side of their wives in support, all weeping silently.

As the chapel appeared across the snow covered clearing ahead of them, the pipers transitioned into 'Flower of Scotland', and when the caskets entered the chapel the music changed to 'Amazing Grace'.

Before entering the old stone chapel, they noticed a large number of vehicles parked behind the chapel and under the trees close by. They were astounded to see two helicopters also sitting in a large clearing next to the chapel. Andrew guessed, correctly, that one of the helicopters might have brought Dan and Joan from Inverness, but the second helicopter remained a mystery.

The tiny Chapel of St Ciaran was, Andrew guessed, half full and he realised sadly that many of those walking behind them would not be able to be seated and would have to stand in the small foyer or outside in the cold. The chapel, built in 1912, was remarkably warm inside, several gas heaters having been lit and positioned in the corners, as well as in front at the alter, which contained a plaque with the names of sixteen soldiers who had not returned to Achnacarry after World War 1, and in whose memory, the sixteen pines had been planted behind the chapel. The chapel was stone-walled on the interior as well with four windows at regular intervals on each side, wooden pews on either side of the aisle and a matching ceiling and rafters overhead. A small stained glass window hung in a niche above the alter. It would ultimately seat only one hundred mourners.

As they followed the caskets down the aisle, they noticed Dan and Joan sitting in the fourth row of pews looking solemn, Joan noticeably close to tears when she saw them. While the families shuffled into their pews, the two caskets were positioned beside one another, and Iona and Jenny placed their photographs on top of the caskets in front of the wreaths of red and white roses and heather, ordered by Andrew, but the attached cards on both wreaths revealed the scrawl of childish handwriting
'Mommy. We love you and miss you. Jamie, Fiona, Cameron and Elizabeth. XXXX'

The service was the usual Scottish Presytarian one, the hymns, Blessed Assurance and Abide with Me, a short message and the usual eulogies. The only departure from the norm came just after the eulogies when the pastor was preparing to close the service with the final blessing and an elderly gentleman stood up.

"If I may have a moment of the congregations time, I have an important announcement to make", he said, as the left his pew, walked to the front of the chapel, stopped at the head of the caskets and looked at the families.

"Firstly, my deepest condolences on your loss. Fort William, and indeed, Scotland have lost two wonderful, selfless people. My name is William Fraser and I am here to inform you that Her Majesty, in consultation with the First Minister, has decided to posthumously award to Elizabeth and Dr. Nicola Cameron-Smith, England's highest civilian medal for bravery, the George Cross. I do not have to go into the details of the reason for the award. You are all only too aware of them and the tragic consequences thereof. The First Minster wanted to be here person-ally today, but was unfortunately required to be in Westminster for three days. I have instructions from both Her Majesty and the First Minister to pass on their condolences as well. The awards will be presented to the surviving family by Her Majesty at a later date, but I have in my possession the formal letters of announcement, including the date of the presentation, which will occur in June. You will receive final notification of the date by the 1st of May", he told them, then approached Jamie and Fiona who were standing between their dads, looking bewildered and lost. He crouched down in front of them, removing two crested envelopes from his jacket pocket, handing one to Jamie and one to Fiona.

"These are for you, little ones. Your mommys were very brave that night. Now you must be brave as well. I know you love them and you miss them. I hope that what you have there will help you to remember them".
He stood up, glanced over the very quiet congregation and nodded.

"Thank you for you time", he said and walked down the aisle and out into the cold Scottish air.There was a few moments of stunned silence, before the pastor said,

"I know this seems the wrong time for this, but I think congratulations may be in order. It is fitting that Beth and Dr. Nicky will be honoured like this. They will never be forgotten and neither will their selfless act".

With that, he intoned the final blessing and all too soon they were once again following the pipers, playing ' Going Home'. As they proceeded down the aisle, the whine of a helicopter starting up could be heard and, at the door, they watched as it rose up from behind the trees in a flurry of snow, turned, and flew away towards Edinburgh.

The caskets were borne out of the chapel and up the small hill at the top of which stood large white marquee, centred over the open double grave, where another short service was conducted, ending with the lowering of the two caskets into the ground as a lone piper played 'Amazing Grace', until they rested side by side.

Andrew was talking quietly to Jamie and Fiona and they cried bitterly as they clung to their dads who were also battling to hold back their tears, as were Cameron and Elizabeth. Dan and Joan came to stand behind the sorrowful family and laid their hands on the boys shoulders in support.

Two urns containing red and white roses stood on opposite corners of the gravesite and the mourners were encouraged to throw a bloom onto the two caskets in a final show of respect, while the pipers played 'Time to say goodbye'. Once everyone had had an opportunity, the family stood up, approached the edge of the graveside and gazed down sadly at the caskets containing the remains of their mothers, daughters, nieces and friends. They each said a final farewell and tossed more flowers onto the rose covered caskets. Then they stepped back and a dozen clansmen began shovelling in wet soil, covering the caskets from view. The mourners slowly started drifting away until it was only the families and a few others left , including Dan and Joan, who remained until the final shovelful of soil was added to the gravesite. Wreaths and more flowers were added until the entire site was covered. The four children were walking around the mound of flowers, looking at them. Only then did Andrew look around and take note of their surroundings and drew in a sharp breath in awe. Beth and Nicky had been laid to rest just over the top of the hill, under a majestic red leaved acer, with the most beautiful view of Loch Arkaig and the heather clad hills beyond. A beautiful final resting place for two beautiful people. He turned back when a hand touched his shoulder and it was Joan, who smiled at him sadly.

"Hiya kiddo, how you doing?", she enquired gently. Andrew looked at her and lost it, his grief welling up to over-flowing. He moved into Joan's open arms and wept like a baby as she held him tightly. After a short while he managed to regain control of his emotions and pulled back, looking at her.

"I'm sorry, but I needed that. Thank you. Ryan and I have both been trying to stay strong for the children, but until now, neither of us have really had a good cry, and I know he needs it as much as I just did, maybe even more than me. He has a triple bond with Beth and Nicky, the children and the fact that Nicky was there when he needed her most when he was attacked".

"Andrew dear, I can't tell you how sorry Dan and I are for your loss. I think this is probably the saddest funeral I have ever had to attend. Just seeing the little ones and realising that they have lost their mother. Just so, so sad".

"Thank you, Joan. And thank you for just being here as well. It means a lot to us. And , of course, for the offer to fly us home. You two are guardian angels!"

"It's only a pleasure, Andrew". She looked up as Dan approached with Ryan and the children. "Ah good, what say we go find somewhere warm to talk".

They walked back to the castle chatting, the children walking head of them. Back at the residence, about sixty people had remained for the wake in the conservatory . It seemed they were the last to arrive back, and they had hardly got themselves something hot to drink, before Jamie clapped his hands for attention.

"Family, friends, thank you all for being here today. Your presence has touched us deeply. Beth and Nicky would not have wanted this time to be a sad occasion, but one where we can celebrate their lives. So please enjoy yourselves for Beth and Nicky. They won't be forgotten"..

Initially the gathering was rather subdued, but as the pall of the funeral service waned and more whisky consumed, the atmosphere lightened and it became the celebration the Jamie had spoken about, although no one could miss the photographs that had been on the caskets and now stood on the table where all the food had been laid out.

On one end of the table stood three steaming tureens with soup - Cullen Skink, Cock-a-Leekie & Scotch Broth, with a selection of breads. The remainder of the table had platters and bowls with foods that could be eaten with ones fingers or a fork. There were no tables, but there were chairs scattered in groups around the room for the funeral goers to sit and chat.

Andrew and Ryan got the four children sorted out and joined them a short while later, along with Dan, Joan and their helicopter pilot, Edward Porter, once they had dished up for themselves, The Kinleys departed soon after finishing their meal, after arranging to meet the Devlin-Majors at the Signature Flight Support FBO at Inverness Airport at 8pm the following evening. The American couple would be staying the night at the Bunchrew House Hotel in Inverness. Andrew and Ryan were wanting to drive them and their pilot to the helicopter, but when they told the children, all hell broke loose when Jamie and Fiona began crying and begging them not to leave them, which upset not only their dads, but Cameron and Elizabeth as well. In the end, Jamie Snr offered to do the trip up the hill and once they had said their farewell to Dan and Joan, they took the unhappy children upstairs to calm down and have a nap.

While the children were sleeping, Ryan began packing and Andrew contacted the airline call centre to cancel the reservations they held, The agent was very understanding once Andrew explained the problem and made the cancellation, but referred the question of a refund up the line for further consideration. Andrew was fully aware that they were probably not going to get a full refund, but was just happy that they had some means of getting home.

Dinner that evening was remarkably lively given the events of the day, but was, nevertheless, tinged with sadness from the Scottish side of the family at the realisation the come tomorrow, Jamie Jnr and Fiona would be leaving Scotland for their new home in South Africa. Iona tried her best to be brave, but Andrew often caught her staring wistfully at Jamie and Fiona.

After dinner, while they were having coffee in the drawing room Ken, Nickys father made a surprise announce-ment. He gently tinkled his spoon against his cup and when everyone gave him their attention he said,

"Jen and I want to thank you all for what you meant to Nicky and Beth. Nicky kept us appraised of everything she deemed important, and especially her interactions with you, Andrew and Ryan. Whenever she spoke with us, she could not have been more complimentary about the two gay guys they had met and who were going to be the fathers of their children. I know that initially your relationship was purely professional, and I do not know the details, but I can tell you now that Nicky loved you both very much. Even though she was not the biological mother of the children, because of her relationship with Beth, she was their mother as well".
Andrew and Ryan held each other, eyes wet with tears, as Ken continued.

"Knowing Nicky, she wouldn't have shown it, but she was so excited about the birth of the twins. And truth be told, even more so when Jamie and Fiona came along. Jenny and I will always consider the children to be our grandchildren too, no matter the circumstances of their birth. And we would dearly want to continue to do so. So please do not forget us. Please keep us informed about what's going on in their lives and I promise we will be there for them, wherever we, or they, might be"

Andrew disengaged himself from Ryan, knelt in front of Jenny where she was sitting, weeping quietly, and took her hand.

"Ryan and I have only met you once before, at the wedding, and then we did not have the opportunity to get to know you. It was all such a whirlwind day. And now we have to meet again under circumstances like these". A hand touched his shoulder and Andrew glanced back to find Ryan standing behind him, with Ken observing as well. He turned back to Jenny.

"Ry and I loved Nicky too, just as much as we loved Beth, because, in our eyes, Nicky and Beth were one. If it wasn't for Nicky, those four children would not be here today. So we would be honoured to consider you and Ken their grandparents. And, like Jamie and Iona, you are welcome to come to Cape Town to visit them. Just call us and tell us when you will be arriving. We will arrange for you to stay at one of the lodges, or even at the house, if we have a room available. We cannot promise to bring them to Hong Kong, but one never knows. But you will always be welcome in Cape Town.".
Jenny leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Andrew, hugging him tightly.

"Nicky always said she saw something special in you and Ryan. Now I can see what she meant. In my heart, I knew you had be special, or Nicky would never have befriended you. She was very particular in that way, even as a child. She never had a lot of friends, but those she had meant a great deal to her. So thank you, we will most certainly take you up on your offer".

The gathering broke up soon after, everyone heading for their bedrooms, all emotionally drained by the days events. Andrew and Ryan took the children upstairs and got them ready for bed before tucking them in. They sat with them for a while until it looked as if they were about to fall asleep. They kissed each of them on the forehead and as Ryan turned away from Cameron, a small hand grabbed his, holding on tightly. Ryan turned back to sit on the bed beside his son, brushing a lock of black hair off his little boys forehead. Cameron gazed up at him seriously.

"Dad, I'm so scared that you and daddy are going to leave us also", he said softly. Ryans heart pounded in his chest and tears filled his eyes. He bent down and took his son in his arms. He could hear Andrew sniffing behind him and was aware that three more small pairs of ears were listening.

"Cam, my angel! Daddy and I have no intention of going anywhere. So you have nothing to worry about. Tomorrow, we're all going home and we are going to be together. Now I want you all to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be another long day?" He ruffled Cameron's hair."Okay?"
Cameron nodded then reached up and hugged his dad.

"I love you dad", he whispered." I want to hug daddy too". He looked at Andrew, who stepped forward to accept his hug, hugging the little boy fiercely as well. There followed a round of hugs for all of them and it finally seemed that the children were now ready to sleep. When they were all asleep, Andrew and Ryan tiptoed out of the room and held one another.

"We're not just going to move on from here, are we, my love", Andrew questioned, his voice muffled against Ryan's chest. He felt Ryan shaking his head.

"I somehow don't think so, babe. This has affected them far more than I had thought. They're all going to need a lot of love and reassurance".

They were both very thoughtful when they turned off the light that night. But sleep came surprisingly easily and the morning light found them well rested and ready for the challenge ahead.
They had a late breakfast, finished packing and made preparations to leave Achnacarry just after lunch. The drive to Inverness would only be about two hours, but Ryan was allowing plenty of time due to the weather. If they arrived too early, they would book into a hotel close to the airport for the afternoon.

Their dreaded moment of departure came at 12.30, having had an early light lunch. Jamie and Iona were at the main door to say goodbye. Donald was present with Ken and Jenny, who were staying on for a couple of days, mainly to assist Jamie Snr and Iona to pack up the bungalow, as were a number of clansmen and women, and, of course, both grandparents fighting with their emotions, not wanting to upset Jamie Jnr and Fiona. After all the hugs, kisses and handshakes, Andrew and Ryan got the children all settled in their seats and strapped them in. The vehicle was equipped with personal entertainment devices on the back of the seats ahead of them, and the kids were already engrossed in watching cartoons as they drove away. Ryan glanced in the rear view mirror and saw Jamie Snr and Iona holding one another close.

The route actually took them in the opposite direction to where they were headed. Initially, they were obliged to drive southeast from Achnacarry towards Spean Bridge before swinging northwest in the direction of Inverness. From Spean Bridge, the road crossed The Great Glen, driving through the snow-capped landscape, and then skirted the eastern shore of Loch Lochy past Kilfinnan and through Laggan, following the Caledonian Canal, crossed the canal at the bottom end of Loch Oich and then travelled up the western side of Loch Oich through Invergarry, where they joined the A82, to Aberchalder and Fort Augustus at the southern end of Loch Ness. The road then paralleled the shore of Loch Ness all the way to its northern entrance from the River Ness at Dochgarroch and then entering the outskirts of the city they drove past the Inverness Botanic Gardens, to the Ness Bridge in the city, crossing over the River Ness and joining the A96 at Raigmore to the airport.

The weather had been almost perfect for driving. The grey, sullen snowclouds had given way to clear blue skies, but although the sun was shining, it was still very cold with a bitter wind blowing. They had indeed arrived early, so Ryan drove the the Courtyard Marriott at the airport and they checked into a room for the remainder of the afternoon to have a short rest and a snack. They Skyped with David and Janice to advise them that they would be arriving back in Cape Town in the morning early. Andrew also called Richard at The Cameron with a request to send the guest courtesy vehicle to the airport to pick them up on arrival, stressing that they would be at the private FBO and not at the International Arrivals. Then they all had a hot bath or shower before they checked out and drove to the FBO to meet with Dan and Joan for the long overnight flight home.