The Next Stage - 40. Fresh Sparks and Fading Flames

“Jasper, there you are.” Jasper’s dad calls out the moment Jasper enters the building. “I’ve found him.”

Jasper raises a quizzical eyebrow. “Found who?”

“The young man who flushed the condom...”

“Oh my god, not this again.” Jasper presses his large take-away coffee mug against his temple and closes his eyes. “I’ve got two teething children at home who took turns not sleeping last night. I did not come in today to have this conversation all over again. Please, can we just move past this? It’s at least 47 dramas ago in my timeline.”

“Can I speak to you in the office?”

Jasper nods and gives a sigh, lowering his coffee so he can take a sip, hoping it’ll give him the energy he’s missing after a sleepless night. “I was heading there, anyway.”

It’s not until he opens the door and steps inside that he realises he’s being ambushed. His dad was right about the ‘young man’ part, the person sitting opposite the desk with his head hung and his face bright red does admittedly look too young to be responsible for the condom debacle, though Jasper wasn’t about to give his dad any reason to think he’s right about their charity being full of promiscuous children.

“Jasper, I'm so sorry!” the guy starts but Jasper waves it off.

“I’m sorry too, this is completely unnecessary. Off you go.”

“Son, look at the kid. You cannot think it’s ok for a boy his age to be having sex.”

“I wasn’t!”

This entire conversation is melting Jasper’s brain one cringey comment at a time.

“Sex before marriage is...”

“This just keeps going.” Jasper mutters, once again holding his coffee cup against his temple.

“I’m asexual. I wasn’t having sex with anyone. That’s not something I ever want to do.”

Jasper almost wishes he’d not said anything, because he could see his dad mentally contorting his understanding of this entire situation. “You should go. You don’t have to be subjected to this.” Jasper smiles kindly and watches the gratitude wash over the younger boy’s face. He gets up and rushes from the room, leaving Jasper and his dad.

“Ja-”

“Never do that again.” Jasper orders as soon as the door is closed. “That was an unfair situation to put someone in. Nobody in this building has to answer to you about their personal lives. You’ve got to step back and accept that the way you want things to be, is not the way things are these days. I care that the people here are being safe, respecting themselves and others, and keeping their living spaces clean. That is all."

“So, you don’t care that he’s clearly underage.”

Jasper places his coffee down on the desk and turns to his dad, annoyed. “We don’t have any occupants here under the age of 16, and there're rules and provisions in place to stop each age group from entering the rooms of younger or older occupants. At the very least, they can only mingle with someone their own age. There is absolutely no reason to make that our business, unless someone directly comes to us saying they don’t feel safe. And if I want people to feel like they can talk to me about something personal like that, then I need to make them feel safe first. Do you think bringing someone in and judging or shaming them is how you make people feel safe? I can tell you from experience, that is exactly how you make people feel they need to hide things from you,” he snaps.

His dad stands silent for a few long moments with his mouth open, but nothing to say.

Jasper crosses his arms, looking at his dad and trying not to let it show how proud he is of himself for standing up to his dad. No matter how many times he’s spoken up, it’s still exhilarating.

With a gulp, Jasper’s dad looks away. “I know I failed you and Grace...”

But something within Jasper crumbles. A deep pain of hoping to never be confronted by his own kids and made to feel like he’d failed to raise them right. “Dad, we’ve moved past that and I don’t want to go back to it, ok? Now, I’m going to forget about this entire conversation, and get into this paperwork before the magic of caffeine fades away.” Jasper slumps into the seat and rubs his face.

“I’m sorry son,” his dad sighs heavily. “It’s just that I want to do better for these kids...” he drifts off, but Jasper knows exactly what he means by it. He’s trying to do better at caring for these kids than he did for his own.

“Dad, it’s fine. I know you mean well. Can we just make a blanket rule about never talking about anything sexual ever, please?”

His dad nods. “That’d probably be for the best.”

“Thank you.” Jasper looks down at the desk, but after a few moments he glances back over at his dad, still standing in the room looking uncomfortable. Jasper opens his mouth to speak, but his dad is already clearing his throat.

“Anyway. I’ll leave you to it,” he says, walking over and giving Jasper a single pat on the shoulder before walking out.

Jasper rubs his forehead and sips his coffee. He didn’t have the mental capacity for today, but Ryan had been so caught up in rehearsals that he’d forgotten to start preparing the charities tax information. So with minimal sleep and a mild resentment for his husband, Jasper is now an international popstar sipping a Starbucks double shot latte while going through a full years' worth of poorly organized and filed receipts. This was not how he pictured his life.

**** 

When exhaustion takes over, Jasper texts Jules, asking if she’s right to keep the kids for a few more hours while he gets some rest. She sends him a photo of her with Jasmyn on one side and Elijah on the other, both kids asleep. The message with it simply says ‘I think I can manage that. Enjoy your nap x’

The solitude of an empty house is broken before it can even be enjoyed. Jasper got as far as falling into the comfort of his sheets, closing his eyes and entertaining the thought of getting himself off before napping, while already slipping into sleep, when the doorbell rings.

He drags himself from bed, checking the time to make sure he hadn’t actually been asleep for hours, then stomps his way downstairs and opens the door. He half expected Grace to be there, bringing Beth home from the hospital, but he’s surprised by the unexpected re-appearance of Leo, two months after his spontaneous trip to Australia. His tan is intense, and the bottle of alcohol in his hands almost has Jasper worried.

“Mind if we come in?” he asks, gesturing to Kevin, who is leaning casually against the car in the driveway, vaping.

“You fucking left the country and didn’t tell me.” Jasper states, going in for a hug, then feeling a sudden wave of uncertainty as his gaze falls on Kevin. “Is this serious?” he whispers. Leo gives a subtle nod and Jasper’s uncertainty is replaced immediately with a warmth he’d not felt in a long time. He loops his arms around Leo and hugs him tight. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Sorry I left without telling you.” Leo apologizes, squeezing Jasper briefly. “He was kinda playing that ‘chase me’ game, and I fell for it.”

“I said, ‘fetch boy’ and he ran after me like a dog with a bone.” Kevin winks, spraying himself with cologne, popping a mint in his mouth then sanitizing his hands.

“He makes me sound pathetic.” Leo says through a smile.

“Oh, I bet you hate that.” Jasper teases, stepping out of the doorway and gesturing them inside. “Mind the mess. I’m a single parent while Ryan is married to the stage for this show.”

“How are the kids?” Leo asks and Jasper shoots him a look. “What? I’m trying to make conversation.”

“Nice of you to care. After a long week of screaming at me every 5 minutes, they have gone to their nan’s and are currently sleeping like angels, so they will have the energy to scream at me all night too. Are you guys hanging around for a bit? Do you want a drink?” Jasper offers.

“We brought the alcohol, we should be offering you...” Kevin’s words trail off as Leo turns to him and shakes his head. “No?”

“It’s fine. Don’t stress.” Jasper shrugs, genuinely hoping he’s not making a bad impression on Leo’s boyfriend.

“Oh shit, you don’t drink.”

“I mean, I’m not locked into sobriety, but I’m going to have to draw a lone for myself and say no to a drink at 11.47 in the morning on a regular Tuesday.”

“See, it’s like 10pm in Australia, so at least we can claim jetlag.” Kevin offers with a cringe as he gives an uncomfortable smile.

“So you went home and then came back?” Jasper asks politely, moving on from the alcohol thing while Leo searches for where the glasses are in Jasper’s house.

“What can I say? There’s a lot on offer for me here.” Kevin shrugs.

“Have you got more work here?”

“Nope.”

Jasper notices the way Kevin’s eyes seem to be glued to Leo’s every action, a sweet smile on his face. “Ah, him.” Jasper gives a nod.

Kevin’s smile widens. “Him.”

Jasper doesn’t know what to say, but he has a million questions flooding his mind.

“For you.” Leo passes a champagne glass to Kevin. Instead of saying thank you, Kevin pouts his lips and closes his eyes expectantly, and like putty in his hands, Leo gives him a swift kiss.

It’s almost too much for Jasper. He’d never seen this side of Leo, though he’d always wanted to. With that in mind, a question slips out. “Are you guys officially a couple?”

There’s a moment of pause that makes Jasper regret the question and internally scold himself for even asking when he knows what Leo is like, and more so, what he wants. But the answer is a surprisingly simple ‘yes’, and the way Leo smiles when he says it is so genuine and beautiful.

“He followed me across the globe after watching me spend weeks getting railed by other guys. If that ain’t love.” Kevin jokes but the word love doesn’t even make Leo flinch, it’s like he’s so familiar with that word coming from Kevin’s voice.

“Wow. You’ve got a legit boyfriend.” Jasper states, surprised.

Leo rolls his eyes. “I’ve had legit boyfriends before.”

“Are you sure? Because I’ve never met one.” Jasper raises an accusatory eyebrow at Leo, who runs his fingers through his hair.

“Most of them haven’t made it to the ‘meet your friends’ stage.”

“Have you met his friends?” Jasper asks.

“Ok, let's see how I go. Pedro was his best friend in college that introduced him to sex work. Vicki was in his drama class and is his best friend but when they get together she only ever talks about herself, but Kevin adores her anyway.”

“She’s just got a lot going on at the moment and needed to vent,” Kevin cuts in.

“Miranda is Vicki’s girlfriend and, by proxy, Kevin’s back-up best friend. And all the rest of his friends are guys he’s met on set.”

Kevin claps. “Well done.”

“See, I pay attention.”

“Did you pay attention or stalk him?” Jasper asks.

“His blood type is A-, he broke his arm falling off a skateboard when he was 9, broke an ankle when he was 10 and tried to skateboard again.”

“That was with a scooter, you absolute failure of a stalker.”

“Truly believed he was allergic to sugar until he was 14.”

Kevin laughs. “My parents are mean.”

“His favourite food is vegan tacos, and he’s afraid of mirrors.”

“Wait, really?” Jasper asks.

“I watched a movie in my pre-teens that made me petrified that if I looked in a mirror, my reflection would have the autonomy to hurt me, so I’ve avoided mirrors ever since. It’s been a solid 17 years since I’ve looked directly into a mirror.”

“17 years since your pre-teens? How old are you?” Jasper asks.

“28.” Kevin smiles.

“You do not look 28.”

“I wouldn’t know.” Kevin jokes.

“Do you watch your own videos?”

“Oh god no. I’m confident but not ‘watch my own porn’ confident. I’m really just normal.”

“Except for your fear of mirrors.” Jasper teases, heading over to the lounge and sitting down.

“My fear of mirrors is justified, thank you very much.” Kevin says, following with Leo to sit with Jasper.

“How’s Ryan?” Leo asks, his arm slipping over Kevin’s shoulders.

Their affection is making Jasper irrationally jealous. “He’s been very busy.”

**** 

“Babe, you’re dancing like you overdid leg day at the gym.”

“That’s because my motivational gym playlist is just every single criticism you’ve ever spoken to me.” Ryan replies.

Elliott grins. “I’ve never made a guy limp from insults before.”

“I’m not limping, my calves are just burning.” Ryan says, rubbing at his sore muscles. “But I’ve got to bulk up for the role, so...”

“You’ll also have to dye your hair blond, which is maybe the only reason I’m not going to ruin you until after opening night.” Elliott says with a devious smirk. “You’re going to look so weird.”

“I thought they’d just have a wig for me.”

Elliott scoffs, way more annoyed than what seems rational. “Babe, please. You’ll work out until you can’t dance, but dying your hair is too much? Commit for God's sake. You’ve got a lead role, for the love of all things, commit to your role with everything you have. People would do a lot more than dye their hair for this role.”

Ryan nods. “I know. I am taking it seriously and I will do whatever I need to for this role.”

A smirk tugs at the corner of Elliott’s lips. “Is that so? Whatever you need to do, huh? Now you finally sound like someone in show business. How sure are you about that?”

**** 

“Woah, what happened with you?” Leo asks as Ryan walks in awkwardly.

“Leo, welcome back to this hemisphere,” Ryan calls out. “Where’s my husband?”

“He’s showing off his studio to Kevin while I’m babysitting. This is the third time I’ve had to listen to the entire Frozen soundtrack.” Leo sighs, reaching a hand out to shake Ryan’s. “Sorry about leaving Jasper like that.”

“I want the hours back from the times I had to hear about you disappearing from the country without a word. What are the kids up to?” Ryan asks.

“They haven’t been home for long. Your mom only dropped them home about an hour ago. They’ve actually been playing nicely together, though Jasmyn definitely has Jasper’s genetics.”

“Oh yeah. I married him, then multiplied him. Hey babies.” Ryan crouches tenderly as his kids come rushing from their playroom, both jumping into his arms. Ryan picks them up with ease, but struggles to get off the floor.

“You ok?”

“I’m trying to bulk for this role, so I’m doing intense gym workouts for hours every day, then spending the afternoons having to rehearse. My muscles hate me.”

“I need to get back into the gym.”

“You should come with me sometime.”

“Sure. Kevin and I are going to be around for a while, so we can definitely do that.”

“Jasper would have murdered you if you fled the country without telling him, for the guy that broke your heart last year, and it’d not been worth it for you. So I’m glad to hear Kevin is here with you.”

“I’d have probably asked him to murder me if that’d happened. But no, we’re good. We’re dating. It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt the way I feel about him.” Leo explains, looking over towards the door as Jasper opens it, he and Kevin laughing as they walk inside.

“You’re home early tonight!” Jasper says as Ryan stands up to kiss him.

“Mm, I overdid it at the gym so it was a bare minimum day. How’s your day been?”

“Great. These guys have been here most of the afternoon. Oh, you haven’t met Kevin yet, have you? This is Leo’s boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you.” Ryan smiles, offering his hand while Kevin goes in for a hug. They both give an awkward laugh as they settle on a handshake. “Are you guys staying for dinner?”

“Not tonight. We just lost track of time. We’ve got a dinner reservation to make in half an hour,” Leo replies with a smile.

“I’m excited, but it won’t beat the dinner date I took Leo on back home.” Kevin laughs. “I took him to this place called Karen’s Diner, but I didn’t tell him that the staff there are supposed to be complete jerks for you. So he walks in and the guy at the counter yells at me for not booking ahead, then throws the menu at us and the first thing Leo says to this guy is...”

“Sorry daddy.” Leo interrupts and the two crack up laughing.

“It was so funny.” Kevin wipes a tear from his eyes.

“So then he got in on it, and we both got into a real sub-headspace.”

“All they were doing was feeding our need to be disrespected.”

“It was one of the best dining experiences of my life.” Leo grins, gazing at Kevin, who, upon noticing the way Leo is looking at him, leans over and kisses him sweetly.

****  

After Leo and Kevin leave, Jasper and Ryan find themselves falling into the monotony of their own relationship. Kids, dinner, dishes, bedtime stories and repeatedly putting them back to bed until Jasmyn and Elijah are finally asleep.

“Hey?” Jasper asks as he climbs into bed that night.

“Mm?” Ryan replies, not looking up from his phone.

“What’d you think of Kevin?”

Ryan smiles, glancing at Jasper with a shrug. “He suits Leo.”

“Yeah,” Jasper nods, getting comfortable.

After a few moments of silence, Ryan gives a sigh and puts his phone down, moving to cuddle up to Jasper. “What’s your problem with him?”

“I don’t have a problem with him.”

“Are you sure? You seem a bit… I don’t know.”

“They are just so happy.”

“Which is a bad thing?” Ryan asks amused.

“No. Not at all. It just makes me wonder if that stage ever comes back.”

Ryan kisses Jasper’s shoulder, letting his words sink in. “Are you not happy?”

Jasper moves, wrapping his arms around Ryan and pressing his head against his chest. “It’s hard to tell how I feel when I’m tired and we barely see each other. It’s just hard to see that fresh romance, all the sparks flying between them, and just the way they looked at each other like they still can’t believe they get to be each other’s. It felt like looking at the past. Our love language these days is me organizing your tax return for you, and you putting your phone down to hug me. It’s weird. I guess we’re just in that part.”

“We’ve been in that part before. Life gets busy. We get tired. The romance fades, but the love is still there.” Ryan says, holding Jasper a little tighter.

“Yeah.” Jasper nods. “I kinda miss the romance, though.”

“I kinda miss it, too.” Ryan says, mentally going over his rehearsal schedule and thinking it’s his turn to sweep Jasper off his feet with a romantic gesture sometime soon.