Jacob's Advocate - 2. Chapter 2 - The Aftermath

My parent’s were not happy with my choice to not press charges, they never told me this but I could see it in their eyes when we had the conversation on my second day in the hospital. It didn’t matter anyway because Jacob had voluntarily turned himself in to the Sheriffs Department the day after the incident.

And then there was the school board, since the incident happened on school grounds, Jacob was suspended indefinitely and likely to be expelled once the DA’s office worked it’s course on what charges it would file, but that was still up in the air.

After I was released from the hospital with more or less a clean bill of health, my parents and I were requested to a meeting at the District Attorney’s office downtown along with our family lawyer to work out some details. I wasn’t depressed per say, but Jacob’s actions had set off a chain of events for both himself, and me that I doubted anyone could stop. The only thing I could think of was to somehow mitigate the damage as much as possible.

It certainly didn’t help, when everyone had a clear victim in this instance, which was myself. The bruise on the right side of my face had gone down, I could finally see out of my eye but it still stung. My left knee was like it was after my football injury from before and it was in a brace and I used a single crutch on my left side to get me around. Otherwise I was fine.

My parent’s wanted me to see a therapist, not only for what happened but for the new realization that I was gay. Even though me and my parents had a rather open and loving relationship they understood that I had things in my mind I couldn’t directly come to them with yet and they just wanted to make sure I had all the help I could have to work out what I was thinking and how I was feeling and I agreed. I honestly couldn’t imagine going through this entire experience without them and how wild all of this could have gone had they been any different.

When we finally arrived for the meeting at the DA’s office my mood was somber. Grey clouds covered the overcast sky matching my mood. A soft rumble of thunder came from the distance almost as a warning for what was about to come.

We were seated in a well appointed conference room with a view that overlooked downtown. I sat quietly between my parents with our lawyer, Vance Woodridge off to my left beside my dad.

“Good morning everyone,” a female voice said as she entered with two other guys in suits.

“I’m Tamika Jones, along with Chris Livingston, and David Torres. I’m one of the Assistant District Attorney’s and we’re working this case today.” She said warmly as she took a seat across from us and opened a file.

“And you are Tyler Wells, and these are your parents Jeanine and Danial?” She asked after giving it a quick glance, and returning her gaze back to me and my parents.”

“Yes ma’am.” I said simply.

She looked to our lawyer and he spoke next, “Vance Woodridge, the family attorney. I think we’ve met before.”

“Of course, Mr. Woodridge.” She nodded in acknowledgment and looked back to me.
“Well lets, get rolling shall we,” Mrs. Jones said as she flipped through a couple of pages. “Normally when this kind of situation happens it’s pretty much an open and shut case, especially since we have a clear victim in this matter.”

I flinched a little at the word ‘victim.’

“Tyler, you shouldn’t worry, you aren’t going to have to testify against your attacker in court, we already have a confession from the person who assaulted you.” Mrs. Jones said as she continued.

I stayed quiet, but inside I was in turmoil. He had already confessed. I closed my eyes and shook my head and willed myself to stay under control.

“What's going to happen to him.” I asked quietly without looking up.

“Typically in cases like this with how violent the assault was, time locked up at the Juvenile Corrections Facility, and probation until he’s 18, if he gets out before then. If his sentence carries over after he turns 18 he will be remanded to the adult Corrections Facility to stay the rest of his sentence.” She replied truthfully.

I shook my head and covered my face with both hands. This was getting to be too much. A curious expressions met me from Mrs. Jones side of the table. I guess at this point she was used to seeing people in relief ready to move on past a horrible experience while the perpetrator of those heinous crimes rotted away forgotten from society as they should be.

“Is there a problem?” Mrs. Jones finally asked after a few moments of silence.

“Uh, Tyler feels-” my father tried.

“He’s not one of those people,” I said cutting him off. I uncovered my eyes and set my hands on the table, everyone looking at me to finish. “Jacob wasn’t a bully out to get me. He wasn’t out to make me miserable. He didn’t hate me like that. He didn’t hate anyone. He’s not a criminal that needs to be put away and forgotten. He needs help, both mental and emotional that he won’t get at any Corrections Facility. If this is what happens I’m afraid that’s what he’ll turn into.”

Everyone was silent for a moment as I worked myself down from the adrenaline that was coursing though my veins. My mom put a hand on my arm and kept it there which helped give me strength.

“Tyler,” Mrs. Jones started as she cupped her hands together on the table leaning forward. “I understand what you’re trying to say. Believe me, if you can. For every action anyone walking on this planet performs there’s a consequence. The choices we make in life are all chances, it’s a fifty-fifty swing in either direction. That goes for you, for me, and even for Jacob. Some choices that are available to us should never be made, and when they are there are consequences that have to be paid. We are all here right now because of that very inappropriate choice.”

I nodded in understanding. She was right, Jacob was going to have to face the consequences of the incident. The part that bothered me the most however, was the consequences simply going to destroy someone's life at a young age, and I voiced that concern out loud.

“The court does allow the family of the victims to make statement’s for consideration during sentencing.” Mr. Woodridge said in response, “generally they’re used to help weigh the level of justice the family receives. If you prepare a statement Tyler, my office will submit it to the court if you would like.”

“Yes I would like to do that.” I answered truthfully.

Mr. Woodridge looked to my dad, “just send it to my office as soon as he has it ready.”

Mrs. Jones, remained silent as she went through her paperwork. “Then I’m guessing you don’t want to file a protective custody order against your assailant.” She said as she read from a page.

“No I wouldn’t. I mean, if I shouldn’t talk to him until this is over I won’t, but I don’t feel threatened or scared anything is going to happen.” I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts and I felt my fathers hand go over mine. He was worried, they both were.

“It would be best if you and your family kept your distance for the time being. My main concern, and the concern of this office is to make sure you make it past this incident and that justice is served for any crimes committed.”

“I understand I just think that he needs a second chance. He’s a good guy that got lost in hurt and anger over something I may have done. Please take that into consideration.” I pleaded.

Mrs. Jones studied me for a moment before writing notes at the margins of one of the pages she was looking at, “and you all feel this way?” She asked looking at my parents.

“We both trust our son’s judgment with this.” My mom said. I looked at my father who was nodding in agreement.

“Okay I’ll see what I can do.”

I remained silent as She went back and forth with Mr. Woodridge and my parents, like the details of my injuries, was I getting counseling. And other general items that where the nature of the meeting they had requested in the first place. I wondered to myself had Jacob been through a similar meeting maybe in this same room. And I shook off the thought of how terrifying it must have been to be in it. Finally I looked up at Mrs. Jones as she finished a couple of comments to her collogues.

She then started stacking the papers in the folder, and closed it. “I think that’s all we have for today. The sooner you get that statement sent to the court, we’ll get a copy and maybe work out a deal that will work for Jacob’s interests, and your families Tyler.

“We’ll work on it as soon as we get home, Vance it’ll be sent to your office before the end of the day.” My father said.

“Very good.” Mr. Woodridge replied and everyone stood up.

“That’s it for now, Tyler thank you for your insight and I hope your recovery is swift.” Mrs. Jones said as she shook our hands.

When we got home, we did talk about the statement. And as we all sat in the living room with my mom typing out what all of us wanted to say on my dad’s laptop I think they finally saw how all this went down from my point of view at least partially.

I made it clear to my parents that night that I wasn’t some love struck moron hell bent on some story book romance quest, and that my interests were towards helping someone recover from a series of tragic mistakes both of us made, but I knew I still had a ways to go to convince them fully.

My trio of best friends were worried. They saw me when they could but I was out of school for the rest of that week and well into the next and wouldn’t be back till the following week. I was sure by now this whole thing and completely blown up among the students, but I wouldn’t know how bad until I actually went back. Amanda, Matt and Travis weren’t too forthcoming other than I had a lot of support, and people were in my corner to pull through.

Thankfully though my friends did come through to keep me current on school work. I had all my books and assignments brought to me, and the staff did a good job on sending assignments which I completed and returned, part of me couldn’t wait to go back especially since I would miss Homecoming as I wouldn’t be back till it was over.

A few days later I walked into my first ever therapy session with trepidation. It was during the final week of my stay from school and I still hadn’t heard how Jacob’s court case was going. In fact I didn’t even know if he was locked up somewhere or if he was spending his time at home, either no one knew or wouldn’t tell me until it was over. I forced myself to be content with that for my parents sake. I understood their feelings and knew I could do whatever I wanted in regards to contact but I followed everyone’s advice to simply wait until it was over.

I sat down in my therapists office, and waited alone with my thoughts. My wounds had for the most part healed, and my knee was much better I could walk on it without the crutch now but still used a walking stick which I hoped to ditch before I went back to school.

“Hi Tyler, my name is Gavin Casey. How are you doing today?” My therapist said as he entered the room. He was young, maybe late 20’s early 30’s with soft brown eyes that matched his hair color. And wore a simple outfit of black slacks with a navy polo. I smiled genuinely because I was willing to bet my car this guy was gay. Immediately I thought of my parents, they did this especially for me.

“Hi. I’m doing okay.” I replied as he pulled a clipboard and a file.

“I got some basic details from your parents already about what’s been going on. Anything you say from this point on is between us, at their insistence and will stay that way unless it’s something I have to report to law enforcement. You understand right?”

“Yes sir.” I replied.

“No sir here Tyler, you can call me Gavin, or Gav as some people do your choice. So can you tell me in your words some of the events that got you here today?” He asked as he settled into his chair across from me, making a few notes on his clipboard.

It took about twenty minutes to get the full story out, from start to finish. I tried to remember as much as I could as I told it. Some parts were difficult, and caused me to tear up, and he asked questions to get more details as we went along.

“Thank you for sharing this with me, I know it can be a little hard to talk about these things sometimes.” He said softly with true warmth in his eyes. “Before we get into Jacob, I just want to ask about your revelation and yes that’s what it is, about coming out to your parents and how you feel about that.”

I thought for a moment, “my parents took it way better than I thought. My friends too. I kept it to myself because of fear. You know the horror stories that are out there. I feel lucky and relieved to have the support I do. Because if I didn’t I don’t know what I would do, and we probably wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

He nodded, “and I’m guessing because of the support you have you aren’t having any ill feelings towards being gay itself. It’s okay if you do, and it’s normal for those who jump the fence as you would say and admit that not only to themselves but to those closest around you.”

I shook my head, “I don’t feel any ill will or anxiety about being gay itself, I guess maybe because to the people around me who already know still love me and make it known daily.”

“Very good, I’m glad to hear that. So many people that walk into this office don’t have that advantage unfortunately, and I’m glad you do. How about communicating your feelings, do you have any hang-ups with that?”

I paused and pursed my lips about that, “Maybe, I think that’s why my parents wanted me to do this, because they know I still have some stuff that I haven’t said but can’t talk to them or my friends about.”

“And that’s what I can help you do, even if you aren’t able to tell me certain things, I hope I can give you some insight on how to process how you feel and be able to talk about it with your parents or friends, or anyone really who you love and trust. It’s something we will work on in future sessions.”

He paused for a moment as he continued to make notes, “from what I can see your support system has done you well as far as coming out to your loved ones. Now I’d like to talk about…” He said looking up at me.

“Jacob.” I finished for him. “He was my friend, and I let him down.”

“Can you tell me about that?” Gavin asked carefully.

“At the beginning of the year, he tried to have a serious conversation with me. I don’t know what about exactly, but I have a feeling now what it could have been about. I haven’t talked to him at all to get confirmation, except from what my friend Matt told me, and what he heard.” I paused briefly to arrange the next set of thoughts into words.

“Either way, I made a comment that set this whole chain of events in place. I was joking when I said it, but I guess it hurt him because he stormed out of my room without saying anything and we never got the chance to talk again.” I explained as I put the memory for front in my mind.

“What was the comment, that you said in jest.” Gavin asked, placing his pen down. His gaze stayed on me without judgment.

“I said, Jesus Jacob, what’s wrong with you, are you about to tell me you’re a fag or something?” I felt guilty saying that slur even now. My parents raised me better than that.

“Tell me what your feeling right this second Tyler.” Gavin asked leaning forward in his chair a little.

I couldn’t look at him, I just looked at the floor. “Ashamed. It’s a horrible word, and it came out of my mouth.” I felt so damn dirty. “If there was one word ever created that meant so much hate, so much prejudice and bigotry it’s that one.”

“There are many words created by those who hate on others and yes that is one of them. Is there a reason why you used that particular one?”

I shuddered internally, still keeping my brain locked into that one moment in time, “because I was scared he was about to admit to me, what I couldn’t admit to myself.”

“That you are gay.” Gavin finished for me.

“And I couldn’t admit it until Jacob beat the shit out of me. I couldn’t put two and two together on what happened between us until my head hit the concrete, and suddenly it was all there. After he stormed out of my room we never spoke again. No phone calls, no text messages, he blocked me on everything. He made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me and I guess finally he couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Okay let’s touch on something else really quick. How do you feel about being the victim of what is being considered a pretty violent assault?”

I didn’t need to think about that one, “that’s just it, I don’t. I feel everyone thinks I’m a victim, but I don’t feel like one. I feel like I got beat because I deserved it, and that Jacob had every right to do it.”

“Why do you feel that way?”

“I’m guilty of saying what I said. My words hurt him beyond what he could cope with, Jacob didn’t have the support I did, I took that away from him.”

“And you feel that made Jacob spiral out of control until the confrontation.” Gavin finished for me again, this guy was good at what he did and it felt comforting to be with someone that could see this from my perspective.

“Tyler, you know it’s wrong for anyone to lay hands on another person for any reason right?” He asked looking at me intently.

“Yes it is wrong.” I replied.

“I can understand that you feel guilty for what you said, but the piece I want you to know when you walk out of here is, no matter what you said it was wrong for you to be put in the hospital. The price you paid for your guilt exceeds the cost of what that guilt is actually worth, do you understand what I’m saying?”

I finally looked up at him, “yeah I think so. Basically I can feel guilty about what I said but I shouldn’t feel I deserved to get beat.”

“Exactly! Good job Tyler. That is actually the first step of being able to come to grips with that guilt. And I’m not here to judge you or Jacob in any way shape or form. We all make mistakes Tyler. You made a mistake with Jacob, and he made an even bigger mistake back at you. All of this could have been handled better, but it’s not your fault it wasn’t. You tried to reach out and were rebuffed. You did what you could do.”

I wiped a couple of errant tears from my eyes, as Gavin’s words sank in and I agreed with what he was telling me.

“I just wish Jacob hadn’t beat me.” I said out of the blue, “I wish he had just let me try to talk to him instead of this and what’s happening now.”

“I do too Tyler, anger and hurt make people do things they just shouldn’t do. Can I ask about how you feel about Jacob right now?”

“I worry more than anything. And I’m mad at him for attacking me.” I replied.

“Let’s start with why you’re mad.” Gavin suggested.

“I’m mad because he choose to beat me up, and it hurt Gavin, and not just physically.” I offered as I set back in my chair. “I agree he should pay for what he did to me, but it shouldn’t ruin his life. I don’t think he was in his right mind when he did it and that should be taken into consideration.”

“But he hurt you emotionally.”

“Yeah that hurt, is worse than the physical. He was my best friend, he would have been the one I came out to first. Jacob was the first person I talked to, aside from my parents and generally the last voice I heard before I went to bed. It was that tight. I missed him when he stopped being around.” Gavin let me rattle on about who Jacob was before the fight, because that’s the person I cared about, that’s the person that was buried under all the hurt and anger. That’s the person that deserved redemption.

“I can understand your hurt. It sounds like you really loved the person he was before the pain and anger took over.” Gavin said finally, when I didn’t reply he asked another question. “What about the worry? Are you afraid over what's going to happen to him now?”

“Yes,” I said instantly. “He needs help, someone like you, just like I do now. I’m worried that the type of punishment will just make him worse, that it will ruin a life that had so much potential. I don’t understand why people look at me strange when I say this either. Like I’m supposed to act like ‘I’m an assault victim, the person who assaulted me should be locked up forever,’ and I just don’t see it that way. It would be different if I was an abused spouse, or someone that got beat up by a bully who got off on making me miserable but what happened to me isn’t one of those things. I feel Jacob made a horrible mistake, out of hurt and anger.”

“Are you afraid of Jacob after what happened or afraid it could happen again?”

“No. I’m not afraid of him at all, he turned himself in to the cops the day after the fight. I haven’t talked to him, but it’s my belief he knows he did wrong, knows he’s guilty. And he probably thinks I hate him, which I don’t. I’m mad more than anything but not angry, not vengeful.”

Gavin looked at me carefully before asking the true question for victims of assault, “do you think you’ll ever forgive him for what he did to you?”

“I think… I think I already have.” And suddenly I realized why I wasn’t hung up over what Jacob did to me like everyone else had. I had already forgiven him. I thought about that and what it meant to me personally. There were many people in my life who would probably never forgive Jacob for what he did to me, but that wasn’t me.

Gavin studied me for a long moment. “To error is human, but to forgive is divine. One final question before we wrap this up. Do you love Jacob?”

That one I had to think about, before I formed a complete answer. “I love him like I do my other three best friends. Don’t get me wrong I think there was an attraction between us at one point that was there and may be there again. But we never had the chance to explore it. I wouldn’t rule it out totally, but… I don’t know right now.”

He nodded and made a few notes and put down his pen. “Generally, when people such as yourself come to me for coming out, or being victims of what you went through it takes a while to get to where we’re at right now. I don’t often get to see the strength and resolve from my patients like I do you. Don’t get me wrong we still have some work to do because you need to be able to see past your guilt, and accept that you didn’t deserve what happened to you. I don’t see any trauma in you as a result of this, right now. However if that changes and it very well could, anything such as nightmares, anxiety, or panic attacks I want you to make note of those for me for when I see you again. And I do want to see you again in two weeks, if that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah, I’m good with that. I kind of feel better about getting some of this off my chest.” I said as I stood up to shake his hand.

“Another question for you, normally since you’re a minor I share basically what you’re state of mind is with your parents as part of the process, without actually getting into what was said here. It seems like you have a very healthy and open relationship with them. Would you at all wish for me to share some of what was spoken here today, maybe to help start a conversation at home? I’m willing to bet you would like it if they had a better understanding of where you’re coming from on some things.”

I thought about it for a moment. I know Gavin would keep what we said between us if I insisted but I didn’t feel like hiding anything, “actually I think it would help. Sometimes I don’t think I’m good at properly expressing my point of view.” I admitted.

Gavin gave me a heartfelt smile. “We will work on that too. I figured I could offer this to you, since you guys are that close and it will help some of the worry they express when it comes to how you are dealing with all of this.”

I paused and nodded him a silent thank you as he ushered me out of the office. My mom was the one waiting for me outside the office as she had been the one to bring me.

“How’d it go?” She asked once we were finally in the car and headed home.

“It went well. I actually wanted to thank you for setting me up with his mom. There’s some stuff Gavin’s going to call you and dad about. I know you guys are worried.” I said as I looked at her.

She took my hand and squeezed it, “we’d give the world to you if we could kiddo.”

“I know mom. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate how you and dad have been during all of this. I know it isn’t easy on you guys, and I know I haven’t talked much about how and why I feel the way I feel, and without that it’s hard to understand me sometimes.” I said as I squeezed her hand back.

“We took a leap of faith Tyler. You aren’t a little boy anymore, and you’ve never been irresponsible. You took what we’ve tried to teach you, and turned it into your own being which both me and your dad are proud of by the way.” She replied.

“I wish Jacob had a chance to talk to Gavin, he’s really good at what he does.” I said absently as I watched the world go by out the window.

“It’s never too late for that, Tyler… Not at all.” My mom replied softly.

The rest of the car ride home was quiet.

It was quickly approaching the end of my last week at home before I’d go back to school. I was sitting on my bed, letting my leg remain stretched out working on a math assignment when a knock came from my door.

“Uh yeah?” I asked as the door opened and in came three bodies dressed in their finest. My face lit up, “what are you guys doing here. You should be at the dance already.” I said, commenting on the Homecoming dance that was about to be in progress.

“Not without you.” Amanda said as she plopped next to me and pecked the top of my head,

“I don’t understand, I don’t have a ticket.” I replied.

“Got it,” Travis said as he held it up.

“I don’t have anything to wear.”

Matt stepped out and came back holding up a garment bag, “Got that too. Now come on get up.”

Amanda moved out of the way and said, “I’ll be right back. Get that boy stripped and changed as fast as possible gentlemen.”

I couldn’t even object, Travis was already removing my knee brace and Matt was pulling my socks off.

“Guys you know I can do this myself.” I said with a chuckle.

“How steady are you without the brace?” Matt asked, as it came free causing me to wobble a bit.

“Thought so, here I’ll keep you steady.”

It wasn’t a big deal changing in front of Matt and Travis, since we all played football together. Once I was down to my boxers, Travis slid an athletic knee support sleeve to cover my knee, then put the brace back on. “Matt grab the pants let’s see if the adjustments are right.”

I sat back on the bed as Matt threw me the pants and with a little help they were pulled up and buckled.

“We had the pants tailored with the knee brace in mind. So you could wear it under the pants.” Travis explained.

“Shouldn’t you be picking up your date?” I asked Travis.

“Ah,” he blushed. “She canceled on me a couple days ago, so you’re my date.” He replied.

“You can’t be serious.” I said laughing.

“Ty, you’ve been through some shit the last few weeks and you need a break, and we need time with you as well. So uh… Wanna go to Homecoming with me?” Travis said as he handed me the shirt.

“I can’t believe you guys, yeah I’ll go I’m half dressed anyway.”

“Good man.” Matt said.

After snapping, tucking, buckling, straightening and tying I was ready. Amanda appeared, quite satisfied and affixed a Boutonniere to the left lapel of my jacket. I looked in the mirror attached to my closet door and smiled.

My mom surprised me downstairs by snapping photos with her phone and I added a few suggestive poses to her camera roll in response. My biggest surprise waited outside. I had expected one of my parents to drive us or some other similar arrangement, what I didn’t expect was the black stretched limo that was parked in front of my house.

“Are you kidding me?” I exclaimed as we walked to the car, Travis staying at my side to support me.

“Nope. A gift from my parents on our special night.” Amanda said as she opened the door. “Here Matt, go ahead and get in with me so Travis and Ty can get in and out easier.”

It didn’t escape my attention at how close Travis stayed or how he was helping me. I almost commented on it but figured I would get it out of him when we could talk privately. Travis helped me into the car and I was grateful for the leg room. My knee had been getting better and I could put more weight on it but bending it back had still been an issue. Travis climbed in on the other side and soon we were off.

When we arrived at the dance I was almost embarrassed by all the attention the limo had gotten. And even more so when I climbed out of it.

“Oh my god it’s Tyler!” someone said from the small gathering.

I approached the door with my friends as the car pulled away and I nodded a hello to those I knew, and got a similar reception once we made it inside. I honestly didn’t realize how many people knew who I was, I was just a sophomore but I guess being hauled away from here in an ambulance after hours had risen my name to levels I didn’t think possible.

I was honestly a little overwhelmed.

“Guys come on, give Tyler some space. Right now he’s just here to enjoy the evening like everyone else.” My gallant guardian said as he pulled me away from the crowd that was starting to form.

“Thanks Travis.” I said as they started to disburse.

“Let’s get something to drink guys, and there’s food too.” Matt taking the lead with Amanda in tow.

“Jesus Matty of course you would notice the free food.” Amanda quipped.

“Hey I’m a growing boy!” He replied.

She poked him in the side, “yes Matt. Yes you are.”

It didn’t take long for everyone to get back into the groove of the evening that preceded our arrival. I did dance with Amanda, a few times to Matt’s dismay. Matt butted in once and danced with me to Amanda’s surprise not to mention mine, but Travis was the one who was surprising me the most.

He towered over me at 6ft 3, to my shorter 5ft 9, and was a comforting presence the rest of the time.

Finally I asked, “so did your date cancel on you or did you cancel on her?”

“Uh…” Travis started, blinking a few times trying to come up with an answer.

“I thought so.” I replied with a small smirk on my lips, “why though?” I asked really curious.

He led me to a more quiet rim of the dance area and led me into a slow dance that was currently in progress.

“I thought you could use a break from what was going on.” He replied simply.

“Well you’re right on that one.” I said as we continued.

“I can’t tell you how scared we were that day Ty. Seeing you on the ground like that… I just—”

“Shh, I understand.” I replied.

“Were you and Jacob a thing?” He asked looking me in the eyes.

I blushed and looked away for a moment before returning my eyes to him. “No we weren’t. We probably could have been I guess.” I paused for a moment to reorganize this train of thought, “I don’t know now. I mean I love him as a friend, just like I do you or Matt and Amanda. But in love?”

He stayed quiet for a moment before asking, “so does that mean you’re on the market?”

I actually laughed, “I’m here dancing with a straight guy, what do you think?”

“Not totally Ty, more like bent a little.” He said as he gave me a serious look.

I was floored. Seriously? Travis? Never in my life could I have guessed this one. The music went from sedate, to full ahead slow Travis grabbed my hand and put his hand around my waist pulling me a little closer, and I didn’t resist. In fact I carefully wrapped my free arm around his waist as we continued to mingle around the edge of the crowd.

I honestly didn’t know what to say. Travis continued to look at me intently, those soft hazel eyes.

“I like you Ty, I mean I love you as a friend, but… I like you the other way too.”

“Since when?” I asked honestly, because I had no idea.

“Since always. But you and Jacob were so close, I thought maybe… you know.” He let out a sigh.

“You thought we were together.” I finished for him. “So why tell me now? You could get any girl in this building and maybe Amanda too if you distract Matt with food.”

He gave me a dazzling smile that lit up his face, “because of what happened to you I guess. I never told you.” His face darkened a little at the memory, “I saw you laying there your head bleeding. All I could think was you weren’t going to be here anymore for me to say anything. And then when we got news you were going to be okay, I knew I had to say something even if you weren’t available.”

“So this whole time you’ve swung for both teams.” I said shaking my head, “unbelievable.”

“I’d swing either way for you dude.” He said giving me another smile. “But I don’t want to complicate your life either. If you will do the honor of just letting us be here tonight together with no strings attached.”

I nodded, “I’d like that Trav. For the first time in a while I’m content, I’m happy, got a cute guy all to myself for the evening.”

“Does that mean I can kiss you?” He asked hopefully, his eyes dazzling in the dim light.

“In front of everybody?” I chuckled, “I guess that’s one way to come out.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

I answered the question when my lips met with his both of us disappearing in this moment.

“Do you think Tyler’s having fun?” Matt asked as he kissed the top of Amanda’s head which was resting on his shoulder as they danced.

“By the way Travis is kissing him right now I’d say he’s having a blast.” Amanda said with a smirk.

“What!?” Matt said as his head swung around looking out at the crowd.

It didn’t take him long to find them as everyone else was gazing at. There at the edge near the wall was Tyler and Travis as they broke the kiss.

“Well that complicates things.” Matt said as the song ended and everyone started separating.

“You think?” Amanda said as she led Matt towards the two.

The song ended as I broke way from Travis who now had this star struck expression on his face that made me want to laugh. I took stock of those around us, I’m sure my reputation was about to change from ‘the boy who lived’ to ‘the boy who kissed a boy and liked it.’

“I swear Tyler I can’t leave you alone for two minutes before something happens to you that the whole schools going to end up talking about.” Amanda said as she approached quickly with Matt in tow.

“Was it good?” She asked wagging her eyebrows.

“More than good.” Travis said sheepishly, before a blush crept on his cheeks.

“Do you have something you’d like to share with the group Travis?” Amanda asked archly, but in a playful manner.

“Oh yeah I’m bi.” He answered quickly, which made both Amanda’s and Matt’s eyes bulge out of their heads. “Me and Ty agreed to just let the night between us be free.” He tried to explain.

“Like a no strings attached kind of deal?” Amanda asked.

“Exactly,” I said.

With the concerns satisfied we went about continuing the rest of the evening. Travis was the true gentlemen that he is, when my knee was tired we rested, when I needed something he got it for me. Honestly I don’t think my knee would have made it through the night without him there especially since I could just lean against him to take pressure off of it.

The night ended just as good as it started. Travis let me know he liked me and was open to exploring it, but with no pressure. He genuinely understood what I was going through in my head and didn’t want to intrude into spaces I still had to work out for myself. He made sure I knew that if everything else blew up in my face he would be there to help pick up the pieces and I honestly loved him a little bit more that night for being such a stand up guy.

Travis did me another favor that night by staying behind with me at home to help me get changed out of that monkey suit. If my situation had been any different that moment could have gone a totally different way, but I still had this thing with Jacob to work through. As I told my therapist, I loved him but in love? I wasn’t sure and couldn’t be sure until our issues were resolved. However that went, it was still nice to know someone felt that way about me.

When I woke up the next morning I was feeling pretty good, but that didn’t last long because that’s when I finally had any kind of news about Jacob.

Me and mom were having breakfast when my dad came in setting his phone down.

“That was Vance.” He said sitting down at the table, “Jacob’s going to be in court this afternoon.”

“What’s going to happen?” I asked with trepidation.

“He’s not going to trial, he confessed, and the DA’s office was originally going to charge him with Aggravated Assault with Bodily Injury, due to how… violent your injuries were, which is a felony.”

I started to say something and he stopped me by holding up a hand and continued, “but due to our statement and your plea to the DA’s office and with Jacob’s agreement to plead guilty they dropped it down to Simple Assault. I don’t think he’s going to be sent to jail.” He said causing me to breath a sigh of relief.

“There’s other things attached to this that the judge will get into at the actual sentencing. And we have the option of being there when it happens.”

“Can we g-”

“We already planned too Tyler.” Dad said cutting me off, “your mother and me did have that conversation with your therapist the other day so we got some of that missing insight and I understand now. We both understand now. Be ready at 12:30. Court starts at 2.”

The following few hours were probably the most anxious few hours I’d ever experienced. I did end up calling Travis during our normal lunch period to let him know what was going on. He told me to call him back after school to give the full details.

Finally though after what seemed like forever. We arrived at the court house. I was an absolute nervous wreck all though probably for different reasons than most and the same for the others. We found seats towards the back and took them, either parent flaking each side. It was a fight to keep my anxiety in check and my heart rate down.

I was surprised to see my dad’s attorney Vance Woodridge with another associate at the defense table, Tamika Jones, along with Chris Livingston, and David Torres were at the other table for the District Attorney’s office.

Things happened quickly when the judge arrived. After the standard opening was called out the accused was brought in and my question of where he had been was quickly answered.

“Bring in the accused.” The judge ordered.

And there he was.

Jacob.

He didn’t look up as he was brought in, and he looked like he had been through hell and back. His eyelids where dark with circles under them to match. His face look worn and slightly thinner than I had remembered. Jacob sat down in the chair next to the attorney’s and shrank into it like the world was about to end. But he wasn’t wearing a jump suit so hopefully that meant he had been able to be home at some point after turning himself in.

I remained silent as I watched what unfolded.

“In the matter of the State versus Jacob Edwards Docket 24 dash 34371, I understand a deal has been reached.” The judge said as he glanced up from the paper work in front of him.

“Yes your honor.” Mrs. Jones started, “the state moves to reduce from Aggravated Assault with Bodily Injury, to Simple Assault.”

“And the defense agrees to the deal?” The Judge asked looking at Vance Woodridge.

“Yes, and we’re ready to enter the plea of guilty to the amended charges your honor” Vance replied.

“So noted. The family of the victim has already made it’s statement to the court, does the family wish to alter or add too the statement at this time?” The Judge asked looking into the gallery.

“No your honor,” my father said as he stood up. “Our previous statement still holds true.”

“Very well. Mister Edwards would you please rise.” Jacob stood up as the Judge looked at him. “You are charged with Simple Assault instead of remanding you to Juvenile Corrections the standard six month sentence, the sentence is hereby suspended. You are so ordered to attend counseling sessions for a period of one year and your fine is five hundred dollars. Do you understand?”

Jacob nodded as he inhaled sharply, “Yes sir.”

“You are one very lucky individual Mister Edwards. You’re victim Tyler Wells went to bat for you, and has convinced both me and the District Attorney for this leniency. Do you understand this as well?”

“Yes sir.” Jacob replied his voice cracking a little.

“If I see you in my court room again, or if you refuse the order for counseling I will remove the suspended sentence and you will spend that six month at the Juvenile Corrections Center.”

“I understand sir.”

“Very good Mister Edwards. You’ve been given a second chance. Use it wisely. Let it also be known that this case shall be sealed into the juvenile record to give Mister Edwards a better shot at that second chance.” The judge finished as he cracked the gavel.

And just like that it was over. And I was the first one out of the door. I sat on one of the benches along the wall and waited for my parents to file out with everyone else, just taking a moment to breathe.

They came out quickly enough and approached me.

“You okay dear?” My mom asked looking at me brushing the hair out of my eyes.

“I’m fine mom I’m just wired. I’m happy with the result but sitting through that after all that worrying was too much.”

“I understand dear.”

I stood up and we turned to leave.

“Tyler.” An all too familiar voice said behind me. I stopped. I was afraid to turn around. Afraid of what I might see, what I might feel.

“Jacob,” I said as I finally turned to see him. Cautiously I took a few steps away from my parents. He stayed rooted in his spot maybe five feet away. His mother Diane stood behind him next to Vance.

It was hard to look into his eyes, not because of what happened but because of the pure despair I saw in them. His normal emerald green were almost a flat gray. I almost looked away but I didn’t want him to take that as further rejection.

“I’m sorry.” He said with everything he had. A single tear trailed down his cheek.

“I know, and I forgive you.” I said, ignoring the urge to hug the hell out of him. I knew he could use it but right now simply wasn’t the time. “Go home Jake. I promise we’ll talk later.”

He nodded silently, before turning back to his mother and Vance. I watched him walk off and I turned to both of my parents who were watching me expectantly. I went over and hugged both of them.

“You’re something else Ty.” My dad said as he wrapped an arm around me. “I couldn’t be more proud of you.”

I gave my dad a small smile, totally realization how much work I still had yet to do.