Shane - 8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

On Monday afternoon Don picked him up after he got home from work and took him back home. “You can come over and visit anytime you want Shane.” he said patting his knee as they drove back into town seeing Shane did not look like he wanted to go home at all. “I’m inviting you right now, an open invitation so it won’t be begging if you show up anytime you want.”

Shane nodded as he stared out the window knowing he would never just show up at the man’s house. He’d had a great time once he was back on his feet and really like both Tad and Don but was not or would never be comfortable enough with anyone to just show up like that.

Shane contained his long sigh seeing the old rust bucket in the driveway. “You can drop me off right here.” He said quickly. “I want to say hi to the dog.”

Don nodded and stopped the car looking over at the dog who was staring back at the car not barking at all. He figured if the dog barked every time a car came past he wouldn’t have lasted long in the park anyways.

Shane thanked him profusely then got out and over to the dog which jumped up on him like Shane himself was the dog’s owner and had missed him terribly over the last week.

Don backed out of the park road and honked his horn while Shane waved as he took off back down the main road. Shane played with Shep only a few minutes before a truck pulled into the parking lot and stopped. Shane quickly rounded the fence so he’d be in Shep’s line of protection and looked back at it fearfully. Nick Kirk stepped out and walked up to the fence. “Can I talk to you Shane?” His voice was quiet and not mean so Shane exited the fenced in area. “Can we go for a ride?”

“I don’t want to.” Shane said shaking his head not wanting to willing get in any vehicle where he was not absolutely sure of it’s drivers intentions.

“Well just let me park this in a better place and we can go for a walk then how’s that?”

Shane nodded figuring that may be okay. Nick parked his truck in an abandoned trailer’s driveway then rejoined Shane they walked out onto the road and headed west. “Derek told me about the two of you. I must say I was totally shocked.”

Shane tensed some but Nick’s voice still seemed very kind so he kept his stride alongside him while keeping alert so he could run at the first hint of danger. “I had no idea he was gay, I had no idea you were gay. I have no problem with that Shane I didn’t want to talk to you so I could degrade your lifestyle.” They reached a roadside turn out that doubled as a small rest area that was just down the road from the park. Nick sat down at one of the picnic table facing away from the actual table and Shane sat down beside him.

“Derek also told me what he and the rest of the basketball team did to you. That shocked me even more. I didn’t think my son had it in him to be so cruel. He also told me he’d hit you several times before that. He said he didn’t know why he just got real mad and did it before he could think on it.”

Nick looked over at the road and was silent for a few minutes. “I came down real hard on him. But I think looking back he already knows how bad what he did was. His mother who he’s living with now has got him into a program for kids that are violent. He’s miserable after what he did to you. And we are both afraid he may do something real stupid.”

Shane looked over at the woods wondering why he was being told all this and feeling concerned that Derek would do something stupid. “I don’t want to talk to him sir, I’m sorry but I just can’t.”

Nick nodded and laid his hand down on Shane’s thigh squeezing it gently. “I understand that son, and I in no way am gonna push it on you. What he did was despicable he just keeps asking to talk to you and I had to give it a shot. Believe me I feel like a real heel just coming to you with this. I imagine you’ve got enough pains of your own to deal with right now.” Nick turned his body towards Shane and took both of hands into his own. “I’m so sorry Shane. I never thought my son would add to the many troubles you already have. I thought he was a good boy, I thought I had raised him well.”

Shane’s throat constricted seeing tears coming down Nick’s cheeks. “Derek was good sir, he was very kind to me most of the time. I knew he had a big heart he took good care of me. He was just real scared of someone finding out.” He lowered his head thinking he felt more strongly about that then he felt about him. Something he should have known all along but didn’t.

Nick shook his head unable to believe this boy who’d been so terribly violated was actually sticking up for his violator. They sat in silence for a few more minutes. “When are you guys going back out?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

Shane nodded with relief. “I’ll think more on talking to Derek. I just can’t right now.”

Nick nodded. “You don’t force yourself Shane, I don’t blame you one bit for how you feel.”

They walked back to the park and Shane played with Shep some more before going into his own trailer. His father was lying on the couch watching some wood working show.

“Guess you got yourself up that damn principals ass.” He sneered as Shane closed the door. “He a fag that likes little boys. Did he diddle with you all weekend.”

Anger surged through Shane but he suppressed it knowing that his father was only provoking him to speak out so he could beat on him.

“We just played cards and stuff.” he said knowing an answer would be required.

“Strip poker?”

“No sir,” Shane expected some remark to come out about Derek figuring if Nick new his dad must too. Shane walked off to his room breathing a sigh of relief though he did not get through the day without getting a hiding that lasted what seemed like twenty minutes. He wasn’t sure what his violation was his father had not said much since while he ranted and brought the belt down repeatedly over his back and ass. He figured maybe it was cause his father had gotten proof that he was actually queer and since he’d not been able to disguise the beating by getting Shane to talk back to him he just did it anyways without really saying why.

Though he did not at all want to, he got up the next morning and walked to school. He did not go early enough to work out only early enough to get a good breakfast which pained his ass a lot to sit and do but he had to toughen it up cause it would do a whole lot of sitting in classes that day.

On walking to his first class Mr. Mason called out to him and he found himself once again sitting in the man’s office. “I didn’t expect to see you here today Shane.” Don said his admiration for the boy beyond measure at this point.

“I didn’t want to come.” he answered seeing no need to lie as he’d be even more of a freak if he had wanted to. “But it won’t get any better the longer I wait will it?”

“No I spose not. Just keep to yourself and hopefully you’ll be okay.”

“I’ve always kept to myself I’ve never been okay.” Shane said bitterly.

Don nodded realizing what he’d said was pretty stupid. He pulled some papers out of his desk and handed them over to Shane who tentatively reached out and took them.

“I signed your free lunch papers for you. You need to eat more then you do. It’s bad for your health to go without food. Just give those to the cashier and she’ll add you to the list.”

A warm feeling ran through him as he looked down at the papers. A feeling he had been feeling a lot of the week that he’d spent with him and Tad. He wasn’t real sure what it was but he knew he liked it.

He stood up from his chair and put his hand to his shoulder then realizing he had no pack to tuck the papers in he dropped his hand back down his warm feeling replaced by an incredible sadness at the loss of his things.

“Good luck today Shane. And keep in mind I’m very proud of you for showing up here today. It takes a very strong person to do what you are doing.”

Shane had no response for this. He knew he was not strong and didn’t much appreciate the false flattery. He’d grown to like Don a lot though and didn’t have it in him to be rude to someone who was so obviously an ally. He walked out of the office and down to his locker. As he expected lots of snickering followed him along the way. He ignored it as best he could looking at no one not wanting to see the people he knew had hurt him a week before.

He got to his locker and opened the door even more cautiously then usual he hadn’t been there in a week and figured his locker was full of shit by now. His head tingled and he felt a strong wave of dizziness as he looked inside and saw a long brown pool stick. He put his hand up and clutched at the side of his locker to keep his balance and try and force the breakfast that he’d eaten back into his stomach from where it seemed to be rising up his throat.

He heard laughter to his right and turned his head to it all he could make out was the dark green of a letterman’s jacket in his dizzy state.

“What’s the matter Shane?” he heard the jacket and it’s occupant moving closer. “Having a flash back of a bad date.”

He swallowed hard again and looked back in the locker carefully keeping his eyes from the stick. He quickly pulled down his books hoping he was grabbing the right ones.

“I can’t believe you had the nerve to show your fucking face back here.”

He was sure it was Bart now, that voice was a big part of his nightmares in the last week. “I have to go to school.” He said quietly clutching his books tightly to his chest.

“Where’s your little back pack.”

Shane turned his head back to Bart keeping his eyes near his chest and not looking into his face. His eyes focused more and he saw Bart was holding one of his tennis balls. His mind whirled not wanting Bart to have it. He’d have rathered they ran over his things with a snow blower then be in the hands of someone he hated so. He could feel tears burning their way to the surface and he quickly kicked his locker door closed and skirted around Bart before he could grab for the ball or ask for it back knowing both those things would only get him in a lot more trouble.

He hoped as he walked away that the ball would nail him in the back of the head. Least that way he’d get it back. In his first class two more basket ball team members had his base balls in their hands they spent the class tossing them in the air and grinning snidely over at him.

Shane cursed himself for all the times he was caught looking at them. He would have loved to be able to pretend he didn’t care but seeing them there so close his eyes kept drawing back to them.

He opened his book which was no longer Romeo and Julien but Oedipus Rex and flipped to the page the teacher was reading from. Halfway through the fifth page she read his face shot up as she said. “Boys bring me those balls.” she had one hand on her hip and the other out flat motioning the boys forward with her fingers.

The boys begrudgingly stood up and handed her the baseballs. Shane spent the rest of the class arguing with himself on whether or not to ask for them back. If it had been any other teacher he wouldn’t even consider it. But this was his English teacher he called her the rail but that’s only cause she was so skinny. He didn’t hate her like most of the teachers and she’d always been nice to him on the few occasions they’d talked.

His decision was made by the time the bell rang and he lingered in class taking an extra long time to gather up his books. Before going to her he walked to the door and peeked out making sure the boys weren’t out there expecting him to do what he was about to do.

When he faced back into the room the teacher was looking at him with a funny sort of look. “Can I help you Shane?” her voice was kind and he was egged on.

He walked back over to her not wanting to say it right there in the doorway. “Those baseballs,” he said pointing to them on the desk. “They are mine. Those guys took them from me last week. I was wondering if maybe you could give them back to me since you have them now.”

She studied him for a minute and he was tempted to run from the room but took a deep breath and stood his ground.

“Okay Shane.” she said quite kindly causing Shane to take another deep breath of relief. “I was gonna toss them out anyways.” she picked them up off the desk and placed one in each of his outstretched hands.

“Thank you very much ma’am.”

She smiled warmly and gave a single nod. “Well I’m glad I could make your day a little better.”

Shane smiled back at her as she’d made his day a hell of a lot better. He tucked a ball in each of his jacket pockets then zipped them up tightly so no one could get at them easily. He turned and walked out of the room feeling so much satisfaction it made him temporarily forget the hell that was going on in his head.

Though he wanted to feel his pockets all through the next two periods to make sure they were still in there he held his hands back feeling many eyes on him and not wanting anyone to know he’d got some of his stuff back. A horrific thought hit him just before the bell rang to dismiss them from that class and send them onto their next.

He’d realized he should have told his English teacher not to say she’d given them back. If those boys went and asked her for them back for themselves then she may say what she’d done and then they would come after him again. He couldn’t go back now though, if he’d added it to the other conversation that would have been okay but making a special point to go back well that just looked way to needy.

The bell rang and he went straight to his next class seeing after his eyes had cleared that he did have all the right books. He wondered what in fuck he would do about that stick in his locker as just seeing it had made him want to puke he knew there would be no way he could touch it. If he only had his pack he could just keep all his books with him and stop using the locker all together.

He sat down in Algebra thinking heavily on where he could hide his books other then his locker. He thought of Don as he set his books up on his desk and thought just maybe if he were brave enough to ask he would be allowed to keep his books in there. His fingers moved over his math book as he started to work up the nerve to ask and he opened it not paying any attention to what he was actually doing. His fingers crossed across something very smooth, noticeably smoother then the worn pages of his book and he looked down.

His fingers closed around a picture that he could not make out and he held it up closer to his face. He slammed it back face down into the book swallowing hard having seen he was the subject of the picture. Him on the floor with his pants around his knees and that damn stick hanging out of his ass. Tears burned at his eyes and nausea rose up on him. His eyes darted to the door as he contemplated fleeing knowing he didn’t want to hurl right there.

He quickly closed up his book and gathered up the rest. He got to his feet clutching them tightly to his chest. He looked over on his retreat to a group of green jacketed jocks who were all looking back at him their mouths all wide open in laughter.

He ran the rest of the way out of the room then down the hall to the bathroom he dropped his books onto the stall floor then bent over and threw up every last drop of his breakfast along with some mucousy white stuff that he closed his eyes to no longer see.

He reached up blindly and flushed the toilet then wiped his arm across his mouth. He reached behind him and picked up his math book holding it by the binding he shook it up and down dropping out several more pictures. Tears poured down his face seeing himself being beaten in ways that he had not remembered. Ways that humiliated him far more then he’d ever been humiliated in his entire life.

With snot running out of his nose and tears pouring from his eyes he shakily got down on his knees and collected all the pictures with trembling hands. Once he’d gotten them all then held them over the toilet and ripped them into the smallest possible pieces that he could get them into. He dropped them down into the toilet and flushed it one more time.

He got back to his feet and picked his books up he set them on the back of the toilet then sat down on the seat bringing his knees up in front of them he wrapped his arms around them and buried his head deep between them he cried for a good long time wanting desperately to be taken from this damn town by anyone maybe even aliens and never ever come back.

He stayed there even after the bell rang signaling lunch wanting to wait for the halls to clear before he ventured back out. He kept his feet up on the toilet hearing other kids coming into the bathroom. There were two separate voices as far as he could tell neither of which he recognized.

“I’m telling you man. It’s true.”

“There’s no way Derek was gay.” was the laugh filled response. “And even if he were he would never be with Shane. He’s the biggest loser in school and Derek was popular.”

“Why else would Derek suddenly be gone? They were seen together two weeks ago. Now it’s all out and suddenly Derek is gone? That’s no coincidence.”

Shane held his breath praying he was not making any noise.

“But Shane is such a loser.”

“Shane isn’t a loser. Just no one’s ever gotten to know him. It’s not his fault he’s so poor.” Shane’s ears perked up wishing he knew who this kid that was defending him was. He didn’t dare adjust his position enough to peek out the cracks of the stall so he listened intently to the voice so if he heard it again it may register.

“You’re just saying that cause you are hard up. You want sex and don’t care with who.” the other boy said laughing again while Shane’s shock reached a level so high he nearly fell sideways off the toilet. He held his breath hoping he hadn’t really made any noise as a loud booming had gone off in his head and he was afraid maybe it was not only in his head.

“I think he’s real cute Matt, I always have. If you look past the raggy clothes an actually at him you’d see that too.”

Shane inched a hand up and covered it over his mouth thinking his day had suddenly taken a turn for the better. Damn he cursed in his head he wished he knew who this kid was.

“I never got the chance to look past his clothes they don’t let the eye get any further.”

Shane heard a noise like maybe a hand hitting a clothed shoulder or something. “You are so superficial. I tell you what though I’m not gonna let this chance pass me by. Not cause of some stupid clothes. I’ll bet he’s a real nice guy maybe if people around here would just talk to him they’d see that.”

There was a definite sound of someone peeing then the flush of a toilet and running of water in the sink. Shane saw a flash of grey walk by and set himself on full alert for anyone in a grey shirt. The bathroom door opened and closed and he stretched his legs out off the toilet. He opened the stall door then stopped dead in his tracks seeing Rodney ‘the pick’ Bardeaux and another member of the basket ball team. Before he could run off his arm was grabbed and he was slammed back against the stalls by the pick himself.

Shane dropped his books partly from panic and partly cause his arms had given out when his elbows smashed into the stalls. “What were you doing in the principals office this morning queer?” the picks hands were now folding into his shirt collar pulling it tightly around Shane’s neck. He put his hand up on the picks wrist to try and get it off then jerked it away as Rodney slapped him full force across the face. “Don’t touch me you fuck.”

Shane dropped his hand back down and gripped the edge of the stall door tightly. “I didn’t say nuthin’ he just wanted to talk to me.”

He was pulled forward then slammed back against the stalls. “You better pray you didn’t say nuthin’” he mimicked Shane’s voice on the word nuthin’ “Cause if you do it will happen all over again only next time you won’t survive.”

Rodney brought his knee up ramming it into Shane’s crotch then let go of him Shane dropped to the floor his crotch sending bolts of pain through his entire body. He cupped a hand over himself his parts not yet healed from the last attack and moaned.

Rodney and the other guy left as quickly as they had come while Shane stuck his hand down his pants for a more soothing massage. He figured it didn’t much matter if some other guy wanted to have sex with him. His ass was still so swollen he could barely shit and his dink looked more like a green boomerang then anything else and that had been before this latest crushing.

He thought of staying in the bathroom the rest of the lunch period or maybe leaving school altogether but he wanted to try and figure out who that boy was, the one that had said nice things about him without even knowing he was there. It being said that way Shane was sure it wasn’t a ploy to get something. What good would it do just to say it to his friend? The only reason anyone one would, would be because they meant it.

He massaged for another minute almost making himself erect in the process taking that as a sign that it must be feeling better he slowly got back to his feet. He checked his pockets and smiled still feeling the round baseballs there then picked up his books again. He walked to Mr. Mason’s office not caring if anyone from the team saw him he was too pissed with all of them to give two shit’s and the fact Rodney had seemed scared made him feel powerful. He held something over all their heads. Something he would never tell but could get some satisfaction just at making them think he was.

“How’s it going?” Don asked smiling up at him.

Shane turned back to the outer office and pointed at the door. “Can I close this?”

Don nodded and leaned ahead in his chair while Shane closed the door. He set his books down in one chair and sat in the other. He leaned forward himself so his chin was out over the desk. “I need to ask you a favor.”

“Certainly Shane.” Don was flattered and amazed that Shane was actually asking for something. He could see by Shane’s face and hear by his voice that it made him uncomfortable as hell to do it but point was he was doing it.

“Well sometimes people mess with my books or leave gross stuff in my locker. I’m scared to open it most times but I don’t have money for a lock.”

“I’ve got extra locks Shane.”

Shane shook his head his face turning red. “I don’t want you giving me a lock. I just was wondering if maybe I could keep my books somewhere in here. So they’ll be safe.” His eyes darted up to Don’s face then back down to the top of the desk.

“Did someone leave something in your locker today?”

Shane’s eyes darted again and he shook his head. “No sir, I just thought maybe since you been so nice to me that it might be okay.”

“Well sure it’s okay.” Don stood from his desk and walked over to one of the file cabinets he knew had an empty drawer in it. He opened it up and turned back to Shane. “How’s this?” He turned his hand over and waved it in front of the door.

Shane’s face lit up as he stood from the chair. “This will be just great sir,” He said putting his books in. “Thank you so much. I’ll just bug you to get them once a day. I can carry them between classes I just don’t want to carry them all the way home.”

“Well why don’t we do it this way. You can come in, in the morning and get your mornings books then bring them back at lunch like you are now and get your afternoons books. At night before you leave come in again and take what you need home and leave the rest here.”

“But that’s three different times.”

“All times I’m available Shane don’t worry.” Don wanted desperately to put his arms around Shane and hug him tightly. He knew Shane didn’t like that though from the few times he’d tried at over the past week. He’d always stiffened up like a board in his arms and as far as Don could tell stopped breathing at the same time. He’d given up trying to console the boy with hugs as it definitely was something he didn’t know how to respond to.

Shane thanked him again then walked out to the cafeteria he pulled the papers Mr. Mason had given him that morning out of his back pocket and walked down the cafeteria filled with more snickering as he walked past each table and to the food line which was no longer a line as he was so late to lunch.

He verbally berated himself for forgetting to look out for a guy in grey shirt as he grabbed his tray and let the ladies behind the counter fill it with everything they were offering. He walked to the cashier who looked up at him snidely. “I hope you have money or a signed paper for that.”

Shane wondered if she were blind in not seeing the paper sticking out of his hand. He shook it open then handed it to her. She looked it over then handed it back to him. “This is not your father’s signature it doesn’t count.”

Shane’s heart sank and he started to put his tray down on her desk. “Hold it right there.” Shane jumped and turned to his left where Mr. Mason was walking up behind the woman. “Shane you take your tray and go eat.”

Shane looked from him to the woman who now looked pretty nervous then took his tray and walked out to his table. He wanted to stay and hear what was going on but was not going to disobey a direct order.

Instead of sitting back to, to the rest of the cafeteria he sat on the other side of the table and looked them all over. He saw like fifteen gray shirts and studied every face looking for the kindest one who he knew had to be the guy just by what he had said in the bathroom. Most of the faces he could not see as they were back to him and the ones he did see were not kind at all especially when they caught him looking.

He felt a pat on his back and looked up to see Mr. Mason smiling down at him. “You are now on the list. You’ll have no more trouble.” Shane smiled and nodded and Mr. Mason went on his way.

In every class for the rest of the day Shane studied every grey shirt clad boy paying little attention to any of the teachers. In Chemistry he was stricken with a large sadness at the empty seat beside him his good memories of Derek rushing through his head like a waterfall broken up every now and then with Derek’s red and angry face. He looked at no one that class as his eyes bored into his book not seeing a word wishing the events of the past weekend had never occurred and Derek’s powerful strong sexy body was still sitting right there beside him casting him side long glances when no one was looking.

He was still filled with anger but what was becoming more prevalent as the days passed was the loss he’d suffered. The loss of the first friend he’d ever had, the first person to be nice to him and treat him with kindness and compassion most of the time.

The last bell rang and Shane took his books to Mr. Mason’s office taking back out his math, Chemistry and English book that he needed to take back home with him.

“Have a good night Shane.” Don said smiling up at him from behind his desk.

“You too.” Shane turned to him and smiled. “And thanks for helping me out today.”

“Anytime Shane.”

He was not even out of the school yard when he sensed he was being followed. He hurried his pace ready to run for Shep’s protection should the need arise.

When he was just out of the built up section of town the footsteps behind him picked up their pace. Shane chanced a glance behind him and saw instead of the dozens of people he was expecting only one person coming up behind him. The kid stopped once he was abreast of him and took some deep breaths to recoup from his run.

Shane fought his instinct to run and looked over at the other kid. His hair was just a hair darker then his own and cut short above his ears and well up the back of his neck. He had deep green eyes and full dark lips. His skin looked well tanned though Shane doubted it was a tan at all and just maybe his skin color. He wondered if that was maybe olive skin that he’d heard talk about.

“How are you?” the boy said smiling revealing a row of white and very straight teeth like you may see in a toothpaste ad. Shane thought maybe they just looked real white against his dark skin and lips.

“I’m okay.” Shane strained his eyes hoping for some superman powers that would let him see through the kids black jacket to the color of his shirt. His voice did seem to match the one he’d heard earlier.

The kid turned and walked sideways and held out his hand. “My name is Sam.”

Shane reached out and shook his hand half expecting to pull it back and find it covered in snot or shit or something. “Shane.”

“Yeah I know,” he grinned revealing more white teeth. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Sam blushed and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I guess that didn’t come out right.”

Shane smiled something he was not really accustomed to doing but he was feeling pretty comfortable in this person’s presence.

“You want to come to my house? I’ve got play station.”

“What’s play station?” He was the one to turn red this time hating to peg himself an idiot so shortly after meeting someone.

“Like a video game.”

Shane stopped and turned to him and Sam stopped too. “Are you messing with me?”

Sam smiled thinking he sure wanted to and shook his head. “No, I just thought maybe you could use a friend about now. Maybe more then just now. I don’t have much friends either and I think us losers should stick together.”

Shane was taken way aback by this what surprised him the most though was the kid had just called him a loser and he didn’t feel at all bad or insulted by it. This is what led him to make a decision. “Well I guess that would be okay then.”

Sam sort of jumped and sort of skipped as he clapped his hands together once. “Great. Come on.”

They didn’t walk far before they turned into the driveway of a weatherbeaten wood colored house that had tar paper covering half the front wall. One Shane passed every day on his way to and from school but never really looked at. There was a rusted out Ford escort in the drive that was propped up on cinder blocks where there were no tires under the right side. The front steps were as worn as the one’s that led to up to Shane’s trailer. The door creaked open pushed by Sam’s hand and Sam motioned for him to go on in first.

The inside of the house seemed like an illusion compared to what he saw on the outside. There were arranged flowers on every surface and bright cheerful colors stuck out at him from every direction in the livingroom that they had walked into. Beneath the flowers, upholstery and curtains that were bright and cheery he could see a worn out old floor and peeling paint on the walls.

“It’s not too snazzy.” Sam said walking up beside where Shane had stopped and was looking around. “We aren’t going to be here long. Mom’s only here til she makes enough money and we can move on up North. This was my Gram’s place we lived with her then she died a few months back. Mom wants to sell the place but noone’s buying. No one wants to move to this town and if they did they wouldn’t want this dump.”

Shane listened to what he was saying but was kinda stuck on the ‘we won’t be here long part.’ Just his god damn luck. “How long have you lived here?”

“Close to a year.”

“You in my grade?”

“No Junior. I seen you in the halls though.”

“Yeah well I’m kinda hard to miss.” he said it a bit too bitterly so he added a smile at the end.

Sam smiled back what looked like a kind and genuine smile. “Come on.” He put his hand on Shane’s elbow and led him further into the room where he took his books and set them down on a new looking coffee table beside a vase full of white and blue flowers.

Sam pulled off his jacket and threw it in the corner and Shane was not surprised to see a grey sweatshirt had been underneath it. “Take off your jacket...if you want.”

Shane put his hand on his jacket just over his stomach then moved it around to his pocket where one of the balls were. “I like to keep it on.”

Sam nodded and dropped down onto his knees on the floor he leaned forward and pulled a couple controls out of the cabinet below the TV with one hand while he turned the TV on with the other.

Shane sat down beside him and Sam instructed him on how to play the game. The game required very little concentration and they talked as they played. “Were’s your mom now?”

“Working, she works at the grocery store in the deli. What do your parents do?”

“My dad fishes. My mom died when I was born.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam said looking at him directly in the eye. “My dad’s not around either he’s not dead though just a prick. Ran off on my mom like before I was born. We haven’t heard from his since.”

“Does your mom date?”

“Not here.” Sam said then smacked his hand on his thigh and laughed. “No offense to your dad but the men around here ain’t too appealing.”

Shane grinned knowing his father was one of the most unappealing of the men in Prescott Cove. He wondered why he’d never noticed this kid before since sitting here talking to him now he was very turned on by his looks and the personality that seemed to go wonderfully along with it.

“Where did you live before you came here?” he could not believe how many questions he was asking and how at ease he felt.

“Florida. Right on the ocean like here but there they had long white beaches with soft sand not all rocks like here.” Sam looked back at Shane his controller hanging limply from his hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound like one of those ass holes that always brags about where they used to live. I always hated those people we always got a lot of new people at my old school. People came and went all the time.”

“So you still wish you were there then?”

“Yeah,” Sam tilted his head down to one shoulder then the other. “But I don’t dwell on it. I figure I can just go back there if I want in another year. I’m applying to Florida State for college along with a few others but I’ll make my decision after I know where I’m gonna be accepted. You gonna go to college?”

Shane shook his head. “My grades ain’t too good I could never get any scholarship and we just can’t afford it.”

“You could get loans.”

He nodded again. They played in silence for a few more minutes both studying each other out of the corners of their eyes. After the game ended Sam leaned back against the coffee table while Shane put his hands down behind him and leaned back on his arms while stretching his legs out in front of him. He cast a glance over at Sam’s crotch but did not glance long enough to see any sort of definition under his baggy pants.

“So is it true what they say about you?” Sam asked his voice definitely nervous.

Shane turned his head and looked over his shoulder at him. “Which thing?”

“That you are gay.” Sam looked as nervous as he sounded. Shane was tempted to act real pissed just for a little fun but knew he would never be able to pull it off. “Yes it’s true.” he turned his face to straight over his shoulder and looked out a doorway that led into a kitchen. “Is there a reason you’re asking?” he was feeling real nervous now.

Sam sat back up and their faces were now aligned their eyes looking into each other’s. “Well cause I’m gay I guess.” Sam said his Adam’s apple quivering as it moved up then back down. “When I first moved here I didn’t think this town even knew what gay was. But I met another kid whose gay and now you so I guess I wasn’t the only one after all.”

“Matt?” Shane asked then bit his lip knowing he shouldn’t have said that cause the only reason he knew it was from overhearing Sam’s conversation in the bathroom earlier.

Sam looked surprised then nodded. “You know him?”

Shane shook his head and rolled his eyes realizing he’d fucked up again.

“How’d you know he was gay.”

He let out a sigh figuring it wouldn’t be so bad to tell now that he’d buried himself in a good sized whole he moved his hand along the floor and slid it up over Sam’s surprising even himself at his boldness. He blamed it on his just being so desperate and lonely. “You should really double check the bathroom stalls before you talk about just anything in there.”

Sam’s mouth hung open a bit and by his expression Shane could imagine he was saying something like ‘oh shit’ in his head. His hand turned up under Shane’s and his fingers curled in over it. “I looked under the doors.” He sounded real embarrassed but it did not really come out on his beautiful face.

“I was hiding, I didn’t know who it was so I pulled my feet up so’s noone would know I was there. I guess it was really my fault for doing that. But it wasn’t like I was gonna run out and say don’t talk about me I’m right here.”

Sam grinned then chuckled. “You are funny.”

Shane cocked his head to one side certainly never hearing that one before. “I liked what you said. It made me feel pretty good.”

“It was true Shane. And the more I talk to you the more I realize I wasn’t at all wrong in what I said. It’s just noone has gotten to know you is all. And why would you bother getting to know any of them they are a bunch of bigoted hicks.”

“And people aren’t in Florida?”

“Not in my old school.” he shook his head as though to confirm that fact. “I was totally out there and noone cared, I kissed my boyfriend right in the halls like a lot of the other guys kissed their girl friends. There’s a always a few jack asses wherever you go I imagine but we weren’t the only queers there and everyone basically got along real well. It was the hicks like the people at this school that got teased the most.”

“You have a boyfriend?”

“No, not anymore. We broke up about a month after I moved here. Seems he couldn’t hack being alone. He was sexually driven and had to have it all the time. Me I mostly like to snuggle and kiss. Sex is great don’t get me wrong, it’s just not something that consumes my every thought.”

“How long have you known you were gay?”

“Since like maybe I was twelve, I didn’t really know I just had a real strong hunch. I told my mom when I was fourteen she didn’t believe me at first said I was too young to know but she’s come to accept it over the last three years. Does your dad know?”

Shane nodded.

“How was he?”

“He hasn’t said much about it.”

“Did you really go out with Derek Kirk?”

He nodded again. “For a couple months.” he figured it was okay to tell now that Derek was gone.

“How did the two of you get together?”

“Well have you had Mrs Narchek?”

Sam made a disgusted face and nodded.

“Well I had this picture in my back pack once of a guy I thought was the ideal of hot.” Shane sort of grinned and looked off into space remembering it fondly. “She’s such a bitch that one day she decided to dump my back pack all over my desk while I was gathering the stuff she took the picture and held it up for everyone to see. That’s when everyone found out I was gay. Everyone had called me a queer and a fag before that but they were only guessing after what she did everyone got all the proof they needed.”

He looked back at Sam and smiled. “Derek was in that class and the very next time I saw him he started being awful nice to me. He had the cover of helping me buff up you know get some muscles.” He put his hand that was not in Sam’s on his bicep. “He came over to my house one night cause he’d stood me up in going out to eat he’d said he was going to show me what a proper meal was. He came to my house with pizza and beer.”

Sam chuckled. “That was a proper meal?”

He shook his head and grinned again. “No he said it wasn’t but thought he’d better show up with a bribe so I’d let him in. He spent the night that night and we just were together after that.”

“Did he really leave just cause everyone found out?” Sam cocked his head to one side looking like he felt bad for Shane about this.

Shane dropped his hand off his Bicep onto the floor. “I guess, he never told me he was just gone.” He couldn’t get over how easy it was to talk to Sam he could not remember the last time he talked so much if ever.

“That must suck. Do you miss him?”

Shane sort of shrugged and half nodded. “I guess, I’m mad at him though I wouldn’t be with him even if he were still here.”

Sam squeezed his hand tighter around Shane’s. “I don’t blame you. That’s not right. If you love someone you are with them no matter what it takes.”

“I don’t think he loved me. We were just together.”

Sam looked over at the clock and sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“My mom will be home soon.”

“Oh,” Shane pulled his hand free and stood up Sam shot up right beside him.

“That don’t mean you have to leave.”

“I don’t want to be in her way, I’ve got to get home anyway my father will be home soon too.”

Sam nodded and they looked into each other’s eyes again. He put his hand back in Shane’s and curled his fingers around it. “Can I kiss you good bye?”

His heart soared his lips real lonely as of late. He nodded and Sam was on him instantly running his hand through the back of his hair while their lips meshed together in a kiss that was even better then Derek’s. He figured maybe it was the full lips opposed to Derek’s thin ones. And this boy was his same height so there lips just naturally met with noone lowering or raising their head.

They withdrew from the kiss a minute later Sam looking as pleased as Shane felt. “That was real great.” he said his smile nearly going all the way up his cheeks.

“I thought so too.” Shane was sure his face was beet red he could feel it’s pleasured heat pulsating from it.

“You sure you gotta go?”

He nodded not feeling like meeting Sam’s mom and having something happen that could ruin this great moment.

“Can you come over tomorrow?”

“Sure, that would be great.” Shane squeezed Sam’s hand affectionately then let go of it. Sam walked him to the door and they kissed again this one shorter then the last but still very pleasurable.

Shane walked on home feeling like maybe despite the hard tar under his feet that he was walking on a cloud. He couldn’t believe his luck and was actually at that moment thank ful to Mrs. Narchek the bitch for exposing his secret. He’d gotten Derek out of it and now Sam seemed to be coming right up to take his place.

He heard the old rust bucket coming up behind him it’s loud noise so distinct it could not be mistaken. He didn’t turn to look and did not even look up at it as it blared past his heart sinking at the fact that his father would be home when he got there. Before he reached the park though the truck roared back by in the other direction and Shane smiled figuring he must be headed back to the bars giving him a night alone.

He stopped and played with Shep for a good hour then went home and spent the rest of the evening lying on his stomach his face over an open Chemistry book that he barely took a look at as he was too busy day dreaming about Sam and that incredible kiss. He must have ran his finger across each lip a hundred times as he looked dreamily over at the dented wall of his bedroom. Dented from all the times his father had shoved the door open so hard the door handle had made several dents in the wall. He figured in most houses it would just be one dent but in this falling apart and shifting shack the dent had moved upwards and to the right over the years leaving a good six separate dents.

He shook his head and went back to his day dream not caring much about the damn dents right then. He rolled over onto his back and stretched his arms out he closed his eyes and pictured himself at another swim meet. Derek wasn’t in this one. He could see Sam in the front row sitting beside his ideal dream father who had his arms over Sam’s shoulder. He obviously was proud of his son’s friend. Shane’s eye lids scrunched up wondering when he’d become gay in his day dreams usually he was straight and most definitely a virgin since he couldn’t even make out with a girl.

He shook his head deciding it didn’t matter his dream father didn’t seem to mind and Sam sure looked happy sitting beside him while smiling up at Shane on the diving board. He made his dive and people were feet clapping a thunderous ovation.

After changing in the locker room he walked out of it and was hugged by his father, mother and Sam all at the same time while his mother kissed his forehead. Several of his classmates patted him on the back for a job well done while in his families embrace as he was of course very popular in this world.

He jerked awake hours later as the door swung open adding to the highest dent in the wall. He sat up quickly to see his father looming in the doorway reeking of beer and cigarettes his eyes blood shot.

“Leave.” it was all he said but Shane didn’t need any more instruction. He gathered up his books and put his jacket back on. Luckily the nights were much warmer now rarely dipping down below thirty. He turned to his father’s room once in the hall and saw a flash of red hair going into the door and a long feminine hand with blood red finger nails pulling the door closed.

Shane shivered holding back a gag wondering who in hell would want to fuck his nasty ass father. He checked the clock on the stove and saw it was already midnight he could not believe he’d slept that long and was not feeling at all tired any more.

Walking down the driveway he realized he did not dare walk on the road or go into town where he could easily be pulled into another car. Looking over at Shep’s house he shrugged figuring it would at least pass some time to sleep a little more. Shep welcomed him as he always did and they snuggled up together.