A Journal of Anthro and Revelations - 4. Batch 46

Log Friday 10/15/19 7:39a

Had to wake Gavin’s ass up. His alarm kept blaring, only to be tuned out by his snores. I hate to suggest it, but he might need a Klaxon. In my sleepy stupor, I hereby petition the college to build a dormitory for all the athletes. Install speakers in every room, crank up the suckers to eleven, then have ‘em all wake up at the same God-damned time.

Nah. Then I wouldn’t have Gav as a roomie. He’s been cheery, but it comes in spurts. Whatever’s been bothering him seems to be a recurring thought or memory. Still, I respect him and his wishes; this is his problem. He’ll either figure it out or come for help when he needs it. I hate it for him though. Like, cut the bravado and get a second opinion.

I checked the post office and got a card from Grams. She knows Halloween is my favorite holiday. There’s a green, pimple-nosed witch waving her wand over a cauldron yelling, “Yaas, witch!” Where does she get these cards? Every time, it’s something hilarious! Of course, it had her signature $20 in it. I need to call her and check on things. It’s probably time for me to clean her gutters.

Halloween is coming up! College, you’re awesome. There are so many things going on around campus. Costume contest entry all day in the rotunda, club and organization trunk-or-treat for the kiddos, and Greek Life will host Haunted Deacon. Their entire dorm will be transformed into a haunted house! Holy shit! I’m honestly scared. If frats haze their own members, I’d hate to see what they’d do to the people going through their halls… But that’s not important right now. What am I going to do this year? I’ve been growing my hair out since graduation, so I can play with that. It’s almost to my shoulder. I could see if Kristin would crimp it and go as Weird Al. That’ll be a new one for me. Easy, too. Just need a wacky Hawaiian shirt. I’m sold.

Got an hour before class. Caf time!

***

8:11p

This is stupid. Why did I get my hopes up?

I got bored/horny and made a Grindr account. Kept it faceless just to see what’s out there. These people have no damned manners! “Dick?” “Dick?” “Dick?” All before I could edit my preferences. How rude. Got everything listed the way I wanted to: explained I was looking for chats and that’s it. No sexy talk, no unsolicited pictur—

“Dick?” “Pic?” “Dick pic?”

Guh! Anyway, there’s more gay guys than I anticipated nearby. From the distance thingy, there has to be at least five on campus and another forty within a five-minute drive. Take away all the “daddies” with creepy, yellow-toothed smiles, and I’m left with twenty-five or so. A decent spread of potential. I’m sure the “18” on my profile is going to either attract or scare people. Good thing my birthday is in a few weeks.

I haven’t really told anyone that. Birthdays aren’t special to me anyway. I can’t remember the last time I had a birthday party. From the photo albums back home, I think I was ten. Now, I just take the Facebook and Twitter wishes and call it a day. Still, this year feels different. Until now, Grams and I have been the ones celebrating. I’m on my own this time. Should I treat myself? There’s a nice restaurant downtown I keep hearing about.

Just got another notification.

“dicpick?”

Not even a space between the… Jesus!

***

Log Sunday 10/17/19 4:21p

Finally! Someone that just wants to talk. The guy’s name is Chad. Judging from the distance on his profile, it says he’s really close by. The only problem is he says he’s a student, but I can’t think of a single “Chad” on campus. Probably a fake name. I should’ve done that. Just like me, blank profile picture. His stats are attractive, though. Six foot, two-fifteen pounds. So, either hunky with muscles, or slightly pudgy. I can handle either. He hasn’t revealed much about himself, but we did connect about anime. Gav and I are big fans, so to have someone else to chat with is pretty cool. Chad is a little basic in his tastes, but I don’t judge. Naruto and One Piece are still great shows. Luffy’s obliviousness will always be funny. I was relieved he just wanted to talk. For now, at least. He said he’s a little nervous talkin’ with another guy, and I feel the same. We’ve steered clear of any flirtatious lines since we started texting this afternoon. I had some homework to finish up, so I told him I’d chat later.

Gav made a sly comment. That man might have found a new hobby: making me blush.

“Man, you’s popular today.”
“Damn, Riv! You go, playa.”
“Bing, bing, bing. Get it, Riv!”

Blush, blush, blush. Gav’s grins, smirks, and chuckles makes me blush, blush, blush!

I’ll drop Chad right now for a shot at Gav. Who am I kiddin’? He’s got another “appointment” later on tonight. He seems more confident now. This pouty-smiley back-and-forth ‘maybe flirting’ is sending my anxiety through the fucking roof. One minute, he’s all smooth. The next, silent and moody. I told LaDon and Rashaad the other day, but this was news to them. I’m the only one he’s doing this to. Just fantastic…

Gav must be in a really good mood. He’s buying TB tonight. His dad sent him some money for poops and giggles. Apparently, Homecoming and Family Day is this Friday. I’ll call and let Grams know. Gav’s been talking to his folks about me and how I treat him on winning game days. They want to meet me and take me to dinner, to thank me for taking care of their boy. I squealed like a burning tire. Inside, I’m shaking a bit. I can only imagine Gav’s dad. The man has to be a humongous guy!

Speaking of humongous, Gano is almost done. I’m halfway done with shading. Good thing, too. The roomie has been antsy. I told him I’ll have it done by the end of the week. Time to get cranking. I’ll definitely have to crank it once I’m finished. It won’t be the first time, and definitely not the last. I think I’m more proud of this than Bennie’s piece. Knowing and living with Gav really adds meaning to this. I’ve never drawn someone I actually know! This… This feels good.

Okay, no more messing around. I’m getting dinner, then I’m going to push. Time to focus.

***

Log Wednesday 10/20/19 7:29p

Just got back from the Caf. I felt like there were eyes on me for some reason. Gav kept me company. So did Chad, digitally. He stayed in and ordered a pizza. His loss. Frenchie’s cookin’ fried chicken cordon bleu “sammiches.” It’s always a sammich with him. He’s been getting creative lately. Monday, he had mackerel sammiches with a dab of chipotle sauce. At least this college keeps us fed.

Chad’s growing on me. We’ve been talking about our classes. He’s taking a few gen-eds with science courses, so that tells me he’s probably a freshman or sophomore. We’re both coming out of our shells with each other. The GIFs are flying! Half of our messages are memes. Some of them really crack me up. We’re also talking about games. He loves playing Skyrim and Mass Effect. I love Skyrim, but I can’t stop playing as a sneaky archer. There’s something about that slow-mo arrow flying that makes me smile. Chad prefers to roleplay and do challenge runs. He’s currently playing a modded file that prevents him from running and fast-traveling. I’ll have to do that; it sounds fun. Picking and choosing when to activate a quest, what loot to grab, what city to set up home… So interesting! We’re talking about meeting up at some point soon. Our tentative time frame is next week.

I told him I was a complete virgin, and he was okay with that. He’s been with a few other guys, but he wants to take things slow. I can’t blame him. I’m still getting dick pic requests on a daily basis. I’ve resorted to responding with a picture of a pickle jar. Nine times out of ten, I get blocked. Fine by me. Maybe when I grow up to be a proper college man-whore, I’ll be more adventurous. Until then, I’ll keep ogling Gav’s ass and bulge.

***

Log Thursday 10/21/19 10:47p

Holy shit, what a day!

Gav’s parents came in a day early, and they’re so sweet. James and Monique Legg from Auburn, Alabama. Sorry, I’m supposed to call them Jimmy and Minni. Just as I thought, Jimmy’s about a million feet tall. He looks like he could eat Gav for lunch, then use me as a toothpick. Minni is just the sweetest, tiny stick of dynamite. She acted like I was an angel. I laughed when she scolded her son for not feeding me. Righteously, he defended himself, claiming I’ve been eating more these past few months.

That statement was put to the test when they took us to a buffet I didn’t know about. Gav suggested it; it’s the football team’s secret joint. I see how it is. Let’s see if I tell him about Jazzman’s breakfast sandwiches and their ooey-gooey cheese… That buffet had everything! American, Italian, Mexican, Chinese… God bless my pant size. I managed to shovel down three full plates, not wanting them to think I ate like a bird. They asked me every question in the book: my major, where I’m from…

Where my parents were. Grams will be here tomorrow, but when I told them that, I saw the look in their eyes. I just let it all loose. My grandma is my parent. Mom and Dad are junkies. I’ve battled with the fact my dad’s mother had to take and raise me the past few years. It shouldn’t be a thing, but here we are. When I asked to not mention them, Minni made me laugh as she said, “Who?” I like her. I see where Gav gets his humor and swagger from.

I wasn’t going to tell them I was gay, but Gav blurted it when he told them about my art. Can you imagine how mortified I was when Jimmy grabbed his phone and followed me on Twitter? Now magnify that when Minni did. Double that when Gav said I was working on drawing him. Their support and praise was the most shocking thing that’s happened to me. Like, ever! That’s okay, Gav. Two could play that game. So I gave his parents a sneak peek at Gano on my phone. Man, that boy was mad. Minni’s screech is still ringing in my ear…

When we brought them back to our dorm room, they took us back out. Minni demanded we get some decorations. That lady knows style! I have never used so many Command strips in my life. Now we have actual curtains and a rug. Somehow, she found stuff that matches. They’re mostly black, but they have a shimmering purple design. We also found a lamp with three heads and a few different light bulbs. White, yellow, and black. Each one brings an element to the room. Oh, and Gav? Don’t think I won’t say something if I suddenly find a red bulb in one of the sockets. When Minni offered to stock us up on snacks, I let her know Grams will probably bring enough to last us until Christmas. Hell, we’re still working on the one she gave me back in August.

I’m under strict orders to sit with them at the game tomorrow. Gav warned me, though; they can be intense cheerleaders. At Gav’s last high school game, Jimmy was shirtless and had painted jersey numbers on his belly. I did not need that imagery. On second thought… Nah, I don’t think that’s appropriate. Anyway, I’ll expect some hollering, pom-poms, and Jimmy’s moobs.

It’s getting late. I’m a little wired, so I’ll pop one of my melatonin gummies and hope I can get some sleep.

***

Log Friday 10/22/19 9:21p

I honestly thought Grams was going to have a heart attack when she met Gav. Either that, or fall over backwards to see his face. He was an absolute gentleman with her. So was Jimmy when we met up at the game. Minni sided up to her on the bleachers. I could barely hear her, but I think she praised Grams for taking care of me. Like I said, total sweetheart.

Gav, LaDon, and the rest of the offense team did the dang thing! They took no prisoners. 35-6. Jimmy and Minni were bouncing around us like monsters. I kept my eye on Grams the entire time. I don’t think she’s been out much since I moved here. She was smiling. I know sports isn’t her thing, but I can tell she had fun.

On our way back to the dorm, I asked how Mom and Dad were. I don’t know why I asked. The answer remains the same. Nothing noteworthy. Both of us are just waiting for Dad to get a DUI and Mom to be arrested for possession. We didn’t mention them for the rest of the night. It was getting dark, and Grams doesn’t drive well at night. Jimmy, you’re an angel. He offered to give her a ride to her hotel. They’ll drop her off here tomorrow so she can get home when it’s light out.

Gav is so thoughtful. He invited everyone to come with us for our TB trip, and it was so much fun. Grams went back and ordered a few grilled cheese roll-ups once I gave her one of mine. I could tell Gav was in the same headspace. Having both of our families meet and get along sent us on a mental high. This kind of made us even better friends. It still blows my mind that I have such a supportive group of people around me. They make me feel valued. Yeah, I think that’s the right word.

***

Log Saturday 10/23/19 9:01p

Gav and I saw his parents off. I got a sweetness overload when they hugged. After that, Grams insisted on taking us to the grocery store. I swear, that woman used to be a racehorse in a past life. Never get in her way when she’s behind a shopping cart. Poor Gav had to jog to keep up with her.

Grams knows me, so every time she tossed one of my favorite snacks in the basket, I smiled a little more. Gav thought he would be an innocent, peaceful bystander. Little did he know Grams has eyes in the back of her bra straps. Anything he stared at with interest, she snatched it from his hands and it went in the cart. I find it hysterical that the man loves Pringles. I mean… C’mon. His hand? That can? Not in a million years.

With our new hoard stowed in the snack chest, I gave Grams a hug and promised I would be by soon to clean the gutters. She pinched my cheek and said she had the neighbor’s husband do it. “Perks of being old.” Her words, not mine. Gav fell onto his bed, laughing. I think Grams caught me staring at his peeking belly. Oh well. I’ve made it quite obvious I steal looks at Gav at every opportunity.

Once Grams was gone, the glow began to fade. I was still in college. Classes would resume the day after tomorrow. Life would go back to my new normal. Back to classes, homework, Caf, and commissions. It feels comfortably… bittersweet? Looking at Gav, I see he’s thinking the same. He’s going through the same thing as me. With me. I gave him a fist bump and finally beat his ass in Smash Bros. Finally!

I felt like I was neglecting Chad a bit, so I reached out and we texted for an hour or so. His family didn’t come in since he’s from the east coast. If we were closer, I would’ve invited him to the game and everything. He said he’s warming up to the idea of finally meeting. Online dating is strange. I’ve been talking with someone I don’t know for a week now, and we’re finally working up the nerve to see each other. I guess this is how gay people do it. At least it’s not like going to a bar and shooting random pick-up lines with chicks. Instant ugh! Yeah, now that I think about it, I’d rather chat online. At least I can prepare what I want to say and edit it before sending.

***

Log Sunday 10/24/19 4:21p

Chad’s coming over tonight. I fucking repeat. Chad will be in my room tonight.

I’m trembling. I don’t know what to expect! Gav looked shocked when I told him I made an “appointment” for tonight. He gave me a high-five, told me to be done by ten so he could get some sleep.

There’s going to be a man in my room that may or may not want to do things. I don’t think Chad and I are going to, but I’m still prepared. Gav handed me a few condoms and lube packets from the nurse’s office. Said they don’t fit. Of course they don’t, Mr. Red Bull. I already tried to defend myself and say there’s no plans for sex, but he just stared at me with that stupid smirk of his.

Is there a plan for sex? Is it going to happen? That's why I'm trembling. The whole mystery of what will happen is killing me. Did I mention there's going to be a guy in my room that's not Gav? The rational idea would be to go with the flow; let everything take its course. Part of me is ready for it all. Kiss, explore, touch. Fuck? I'm not sure if I'm ready for that.

I guess I should be excited. Is that it; why I'm trembling? Yeah… I'm excited.

***

6:47p

Gav and I just got back from the Caf. He could tell I'm nervous. Told me to breathe and have fun. It's like meeting someone new. He's right, in a way. I'm trying to see it from his point of view. Maybe this experience won't be as bad as I'm thinking.

It's all part of growing up. I've never had the chance to actually do that. Grams isn't here to talk to me, and even if I called her, I wouldn't want to tell her I'm meeting someone that could take my virginity. Am I ready to lose that? I never thought about saving it for that "special someone," but the same could be said about losing it to a random nobody.

Gav told me about when he lost his. Some random night after an away game in high school. They stopped at a McDonald's for food on the way home. Him and one of the cheerleaders snuck onto one of the buses and did it in a back seat. Somehow, the thought of him and some girl doing it makes me feel better.

He just left for LaDon's room. Asshole left his can of Febreeze on his desk for me. Guess I can return the favor after all of those appointments of his.

***

7:22p

Chad just texted. He's on the way. Here goes nothing!