Seth on the Road to Chaos - 17. Chapter 17

Craig began to shake violently. Suddenly, he rose from the floor and began to look around the room in the darkness. I asked worriedly, “What are you doing?”

He continued to pull aside old boards and weathered plywood. He muttered, “There has to be some here some place?”

“Some what?”

Chills went down my spine when he answered, “Rope.” I knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to hang himself.

I stepped over to him and put my arms around him, pulling him into me tightly. Again, he began to cry. “It will be alright,” I tried to assure him.

He pulled away and laughed. “Alright?” he asked sarcastically. “Do you know what just happened a little while ago?” I nodded my head. “Your sister saw me sucking your dick. She outed us to everyone. How can we go back?”

I walked over to the makeshift bed, sat down and covered my head with my hands. “I don’t know,” I replied sadly. Suddenly, everything that had happened rushed forward. Before, I was too worried that Craig was going to kill us. Then, I was afraid that he might kill himself. Now, I was aware of what had occurred an hour ago. Stacy, Blake and many of our classmates had seen what we did. I now realized that I could never go home and face my sister again. She would never forgive me for what she had seen. My mother would also be arriving home in a few hours, and she would know what happened. I understood why Craig wanted to die.

I was crying when Craig sat down beside me and pulled me into his chest. He rubbed my back while we both wept softly. I pulled away, looked into his tearful face and apologized, “I’m sorry Craig. I never meant for this to happen.” He leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead.

“It’s not your fault, Seth,” he assured me. “We are both responsible for what happened.”

Tears filled my eyes as I asked, “But why did you do it?”

He stood and started pacing in front of me. “I don’t know,” he said. “I guess I was drunk. I wasn’t thinking.”

I rose and stood before him. “Not that,” I said. “Why did you let any of this happen?’

He ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t explain it,” he replied.

I asked, “Why?” I approached him and gripped his hand. “Why can’t you explain it.”

He pulled his hand away and began pacing around the room. Finally, he stopped and faced me. Tears filled his eyes as he responded, “I guess I’m gay.” He walked over and sat down on the bed. I followed and sat down beside him.

He sighed and continued, “I’ve always felt like this. But do you know what it is like for someone like me to be like this?” I shook my head. “All my life everyone has expected me to be someone else. I’m supposed to be this super athlete. All the guys look up to me. The girls think I’m this stud walking around who wants to fuck anything in sight. My parents want me to be someone I’m not. Mom is always talking about me getting married someday and giving her grandchildren.” He looked into my eyes and said, “I’m not that guy, Seth.” He buried his head in his hands and started to cry. I put my arm around him, pulled him into my chest as he continued to sob.

I said softly, “I didn’t know.”

“No one did,” he cried. “After a while I began to believe it.”

He lifted his head and began to chuckle. “Remember when we were in the fifth grade and our teacher invited that ballet company to visit our class?” I nodded my head. I remembered how fascinated I was by their dancing. “I went home that night and told my parents I wanted to be a dancer like them.” Tears began to run down his cheeks. “My dad got angry. He told me that he didn’t want a sissy for a son. He told me I was going to be a college football player someday. He’s been pushing me hard ever since.” He started to cry softly. “I would have given anything to have been a dancer.”

He dropped his head into my lap and cried. I tried to comfort him by rubbing his back. All these years I never suspected that Craig was anything more than an arrogant athlete. However, inside, he was a boy who was hiding his true feelings from the world. I began to cry thinking of the weight that he must have been carrying on his shoulders. I have always kept my sexuality secret. However, I knew that someday I would reveal it. I was waiting for the right time. But someone like Craig could never do that. He would live his entire life being someone others expected him to be. Now, the curtain had been pulled back, and the real Craig had been revealed. I’m not sure he’s strong enough to survive that.

He sobbed and asked, “What am I going to do, Seth?”

I answered sadly, “I don’t know, Craig.”

He sat up, looked into my eyes and asked, “Do you want to kill ourselves? I will if you will? We’ll get into the car, and I’ll drive us into a tree like I wanted to do earlier.”

I started to cry uncontrollably. “No, Craig, I don’t want to die. That won’t solve anything. The truth is out, and killing ourselves won’t erase what happened.” Craig pulled me into his chest, and we continued to cry.

He lay me on my side and snuggled against me. “Let’s get some sleep and talk about this in the morning.” He threw his arm around me and held me tightly. Soon, we were both asleep.

Craig was the first to awaken. I watched as he walked across the room and peed into a corner. The sun was beginning to shine through a window, and I smiled at him as he walked over and sat back down.

“Feel better?” I asked. I rose and hurried over to the same spot where he had been. I unzipped my pants and relieved myself. Craig was laughing when I returned and sat down beside him.

He reached over and took my hand. “What are we going to do, Seth?” He looked hopefully into my eyes. He wasn’t crying, so I think he really wanted me to give him an answer to how we should solve our problem.

I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “We have to go home sometime.”

“We could run away,” he suggested. For a brief moment, I considered running away an option. But then I realized that we would need money to do that. I had a little in a savings account, but I wasn’t sure if Craig did.

“Do you have any money?” I asked. He thought a minute and replied, “I have a college savings account, but only my parents have control of it.”

I sighed and said, “Then I guess we can’t run away. I’m not going to live on the streets. I’ve seen movies about kids our age doing that. They usually end up as prostitutes and drug addicts.”

“Yeah, right,” he said.

We jumped when we heard the old door creaking across the room. Suddenly, Blake appeared and rushed over to us. He knelt and pulled me into a hug. “Thank God you’re alright, Seth.” He began to cry as he held me tightly. Craig reached over and patted him on his back. Blake pulled away and looked at him. When Craig held out his arms, Blake fell into his body as Craig wrapped his arms around him.

After a minute, he pulled away and wiped his eyes dry. “I’m glad you guys are okay,” he said. “I thought I might find you here. I saw Craig’s car outside.”

“We’re okay,” I assured him. “I’m glad you showed me this place.”

Craig gave him a puzzled look and asked, “This is your place?” Blake smiled and told him he would explain it later.

I asked worriedly, “What happened after we left Jim’s house?”

Blake sat down between us with our bodies pressed together. “All hell broke loose,” he replied. “Right after you guys left, the cops showed up.”

“I know,” I said. “We passed them.”

“People were trying to leave,” he continued excitedly, “but they stopped us. They arrested everyone at the party.”

“No, shit!” exclaimed Craig. “Did they put handcuffs on you?”

“No,” replied Blake. “They didn’t do that. They took down all our names and called our parents. We couldn’t leave until they came and picked us up. Amber’s parents were really mad.” His eyes filled with tears. “They blamed me for Amber getting arrested. They said I’m a bad influence.” He began to cry. “I got to find someplace else to stay.” Craig pulled him again into his chest and held Blake while he cried.

“We’ll think of something,” he assured Blake.

After a few minutes, he sat back up and looked at me. “You’re in a shitload of trouble. When the cops arrived, Stacy was still acting crazy. It took two female cops to calm her down. Some woman arrived and took her home. I don’t think it was your mother.”

“It wasn’t,” I said. “It was my Aunt Marie.”

Blake said excitedly, “The cops are looking for you guys.”

I asked, “Why?”

“I guess they think you are to blame for all this,” he said. “Stacy was still ranting about what you two guys were doing in the poolroom. She kept saying she wanted you two arrested.”

“Shit,” hissed Craig. “My parents are going to find out what happened.”

A sad expression appeared on Blake’s face. “They already know,” he stated sadly. He looked over at me. “Your sister called them and told them what Craig was doing to you.”

“Shit!” moaned Craig as he lay back and threw his arm over his face. “I want to die.” It surprised me when Blake lay across Craig’s body and held him while he cried.

“It will be okay,” he tried to assure him soothingly. I reached over and rubbed Blake’s back while he tried to comfort Craig. I was surprised how close Blake and Craig seemed to be getting. Just days earlier, Craig had threatened to hurt me if I didn’t stop seeing him. Now, Blake appeared to be the one trying to help him from the chaos around us.

Craig gently removed Blake from atop him and sat up. He scooted so that the three of us had formed a circle. “Thanks, Guys,” he said as he reached out and pulled us into hugs. “I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here.”

I jokingly said, “Hang yourself.”

“Seth!” squealed Blake. “That’s not funny.” I then explained what had happened the night before when Craig had tried to find some rope to hang himself. He started to cry when I told him how I had stopped Craig from crashing us into a tree to die. I didn’t tell him how Craig had suggested that we do it again.

“What a fucking mess,” moaned Craig. “Maybe we should hang ourselves.”

“No!” shouted Blake and I in unison.

Blake said, “I’ve been in shit before. Somehow, I always find a way out.” He reached over and took my hand. “Seth, you saved me this last time.” Tears welled up in my eyes as he leaned over and kissed me.

Craig acted angry and said, “What about me?” I laughed when Blake gave Craig a passionate kiss. When they pulled apart, Craig looked at me and smiled. “Your turn,” he said as he held out his arms, pulled me toward him and kissed me passionately.

Blake giggled and said, “Get a room, Guys.”

I patted the cardboard bed and said, “We already have one.”

Craig’s face saddened and tears appeared in his eyes. “Why couldn’t I have met you guys when I was younger? My life wouldn’t be so fucked up.”

Blake smiled and replied, “You got us now. We ain’t going nowhere.” We hugged each other tightly.

Craig asked, “Does anyone know what time it is?”

Blake replied, “It was about ten when I left Amber’s. I didn’t bring my phone.”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out mine. “I got mine,” I said. “I turned if off last night because I didn’t want anyone calling.” I turned it on. It was one o’clock. I also noticed that I had six phone messages. Hesitantly, I listened to them while Blake and Craig listened. Four were threats from Stacy. In one, she said she was going to cut off Craig and my balls and stuff them in our mouths. The other three made similar threats.

The other two were from my mother. I started crying when she told me how disappointed she was. She not only disapproved of me being gay, but she was also furious that I had stolen Craig from Stacy.

“That fucking bitch,” shouted Craig angrily. He looked at me and continued. “You didn’t steal me from Stacy. I never liked her the whole time we were dating. I only dated her because I knew she didn’t want to have sex.”

Blake asked surprisingly, “You didn’t want to have sex?”

I gripped Blake’s hand and said, “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it later.”

Blake smiled and replied, “Oh, I get it. You were using Seth’s sister because you didn’t want to have sex with a girl.” He giggled and added, “But you like having sex with Seth.”

Craig asked me, “Just how much does he know?”

I smiled nervously and said, “He figured it out. I didn’t tell him. Honestly.”

Craig laughed and replied, “It’s all good. Now, we don’t have any secrets between us.” He looked at us and asked, “Have you guys done it yet?”

“No,” I replied.

Craig acted surprised. “Why not? I thought you guys were having sex. That’s why I got so upset.”

Blake frowned and said, “We talked about it, but we decided to wait. Seth said he wasn’t sure where you guys were going.”

“Aww, thanks,” Craig replied as he reached out and hugged me. He suddenly started laughing. “You know how fucked up we are?” He laughed louder. “I didn’t want to have sex with Seth’s sister because I wanted to have sex with him. And he didn’t want to have sex with you because he wanted to have sex with me.”

Blake giggled and said, “This is kind of fucked up.” I enjoyed watching Blake and Craig bonding. All the fears I had about Craig hurting us had disappeared.

Craig asked, “You know what we should do, Guys?”

I looked skeptically at him and asked, “What?”

Tears appeared in his eyes as he suggested, “We should have sex together.”

“What?” I shrieked. “We can’t do that?” I looked over at Blake for his reaction, but he was staring at Craig.

“Sure, we can,” replied Craig. He wiped tears from his eyes. “This may be the last time we’ll ever see each other. We don’t know what is going to happen later. I want to make love to both of you in case I don’t ever see you again.”

I looked at Blake to see what his reaction was. I could tell by the smile on his face that he liked the idea. I wasn’t sure what good would come from having sex with them, but I couldn’t think of a good reason not to. I loved them both. And Craig was right. I may never see either of them again.

When we didn’t refuse, Craig stood and said, “Good. Let’s do this.” He began to remove his clothing. I looked at Blake to see what he wanted to do. He was stroking himself through his shorts as he watched Craig get naked. I sighed and stood. When I did, Blake giggled and began stripping off his clothes.

An hour later, we lay naked snuggled together. Blake and Craig had fallen asleep. I still hadn’t gotten over the intense feelings I experienced. We didn’t just have sex. Our three bodies bonded together. We touched, caressed and explored each other’s bodies. Craig began by lying back and letting Blake and me run our hands over his chiseled body. He moaned when we took turns sucking his cock. It surprised me that I wasn’t jealous that Blake was enjoying the boy I had previously fallen in love with. It seemed so natural to share Craig with him.

When Craig enjoyed Blake’s body, I felt the same way. I had delayed having sex with Blake because of Craig, but now I watched as they kissed and caressed. I felt no jealousy. When I lay back and closed my eyes, they took me to a place I never dreamed possible. When I came, they shared my cum. I didn’t feel that I could ever love that much again. The three of us seemed right.

Now, as I lay watching them spooned together, I feel better than I have in a long time. I know that soon we will have to leave. It saddens me that we may never see each other again. However, for just one hour, we loved one another. No one can ever take that from us.

Blake opened his eyes and noticed that I was awake. “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly.

I leaned down, kissed him and said, “I’ve never been happier.”

“Me, too,” he replied as he kissed me again.

We laughed when Craig said, “Me, three.”

We sat up and stared at each other for a minute. Soon, tears appeared in Craig’s eyes. He asked, “What is going to happen now?”

I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I don’t know. We can’t stay here forever.” Blake rubbed his stomach and announced that he was hungry.

He grinned and said, “Sex always makes me hungry.” Craig lifted his hand and they high fived.

I said sadly, “You know we have to go back.” They nodded their heads. “I’ve got an idea.” They wanted to know what it was, but I had to make a phone call first. I rose and walked to the other end of the building so they couldn’t hear me. I wasn’t sure how she would react, so I wanted to wait to tell them.

“Hello?”

“Aunt Marie?”

“My God!” she screamed. “Where are you, Seth? I’m worried sick about you!” I assured her that I was alright, and I explained that was with Blake and Craig. After assuring me that she wouldn’t call Mom or the police, I told her where I was.

“I know where that is,” she said. “Give me a half hour, and I’ll be there. Don’t leave.”

I walked over and told Blake and Craig to get dressed. As we put on our clothes, I explained that Aunt Marie was coming to get us, and that we would go to her house and figure out what we should do next.

Craig asked, “Can we trust her? She won’t call my parents, will she?” I assured him that my aunt wouldn’t do that. We could trust her. It also helped that she already knew I was gay. I was hoping she would be there when I have to confront my mother.

When twenty-five minutes had passed, I suggested that we go outside and wait for her. She would never find us in the abandoned building. Ten minutes later, she came driving around the building. There was another woman with her.

She jumped out, ran over to me and hugged me tightly. “Oh, Seth,” she cried. “Are you okay, Dear?” Tearfully, I told her I was okay. She pulled away and looked at Blake and Craig. She had already met Craig, so she reached out and pulled him into a hug. I introduced her to Blake, and she wrapped him in her arms. I watched as he reveled in the embrace. I realized it had probably been a long time since an adult showed him any affection.

Aunt Marie then introduced her to the woman standing nearby. She appeared much younger than my aunt. She was wearing a blue dress and white high heels. She was pretty, and her blond hair was cut short. My aunt took her hand and said, “This is Carol Reinhart. She is a neighbor and best friend.” She reached out and shook our hands. My aunt then said, “She’s a child psychologist. I brought her with me so she could help.”

Craig said sadly, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think anyone can help us now.”

Mrs. Reinhart walked over, gripped Craig’s arm and said, “Marie brought me up to date on what has happened. I know right now you think that all is lost. But let’s go back to Marie’s house and discuss this. It’s not going to be easy, but let’s not give up hope yet.” I took Blake’s hand and walked to the car while Mrs. Reinhart comforted a distraught Craig. We sat closely in the backseat for the ride to my aunt’s house.

Uncle Steve was waiting at the door when we approached. He sprinted down the steps and tightly embraced me. “I can’t breathe,” I giggled before pushing myself way.

“Sorry, Seth,” he replied. “I’m just glad you’re safe.” I reached out and hugged him again.

“Let’s go inside,” ordered my aunt as she pointed at the door. “The neighbors may be watching.” I looked around, but I didn’t see anyone looking our way.

Once inside, she pointed at the sofa and told Blake, Craig and me to sit down. She sat in a recliner and Mrs. Reinhart sat in a wing back chair next to the sofa. Uncle Steve went into the dining room and returned with a chair.

“Now,” said Aunt Marie as she looked at the three of us on the sofa. “Let’s figure this out.”

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