Connor and the Wolves - 33. Pigeon-holed

The cinnamon wolf trudged through Elias Academy, ignoring the stares following him. None of them mattered.
For two weeks, Soren had been on top of the world. For two weeks, he’d had a friend, someone who wanted to spend time with him. And he had thrown that all away.
How could he have been so stupid?
Hi. I’m Soren. I’m a mage who can turn into a wolf.
How hard was that to say? But no, he had to pretend to be a werewolf. He had to forge a fake claim on someone, trapping himself even further. He had to create this whole tangled web of lies, lies he could no longer escape, even if he wanted to.
He’d tried. Connor’s father had caught him out easily. And Soren had bared his soul right in front of Connor. Was it his fault Connor didn’t believe him?
Probably. What mage in their right mind would fake a mate claim?
But now he wouldn’t have to worry about Kurt hating him for lying. She already hated him for being with Connor. No, for claiming Connor.
Shouldering his way into the WolfRoom, Soren pushed into the closet where spare clothes were kept. It took a bit of work to get his phone out, but five minutes later, he was dressed and laying in a wolf bed. No tea this morning — he didn’t deserve any.
“Rough morning?” Samuel asked as Oliver dropped into his own bed. An elf descended gracefully into her chair, pulling out a laptop as she sat.
Soren nodded silently, glowering past another human at the wall.
“It’s just the five of us this morning. Want to talk about it?”
“Where is everyone?” Oliver interrupted, his tenor startling Soren.
“It’s the Silence. Nekos don’t leave home today,” Samuel said.
Soren’s eyes widened as he digested this new information.
“You mean, Kurt ignoring me today wasn’t because of Connor?”
“Probably not. I believe she’s not supposed to be seen or heard today,” Samuel explained.
“They get a full day away from school to protest a war they started,” the elf scoffed, glaring up from her laptop.
“Serana, that’s enough,” Samuel said sharply. “Today, everyone should catch up on homework they’re missing. I doubt there will be much going on in your other classes either.”
Leaning back in his bed, Soren pulled a pad of paper from his backpack. He scrolled through his laptop, bringing up a picture of a horse. With no homework — he wasn’t technically signed up for any classes — drawing was about the only thing he could do in class, besides playing SoA. Somehow, playing the game didn’t feel right without Connor or Kurt.
He spent the entire class carefully outlining the horse, adding scale models of the horse’s anatomy. It was no different from dozens of other drawings. Soren would probably never use the picture, but if he ever wanted to actually be a vet, some knowledge about the body parts of various animals would probably be useful.
That dream seemed as distant today as ever. He had no records. What office would take him without any sort of proof he knew anything?
But at least Kurt didn’t hate him. Probably. He’d take that as a win.

Soren hung back in the Home Ec room as the chime sounded its shallow bong through the school. He hadn’t noticed how different school life was with Kurt until she was gone. A lonely silence was his constant companion between classes. He was able to sneak into rooms without being noticed.
He wanted it to stop.
Sure, he’d been able to ditch track, so he didn’t have to shift today… aside from having to race to school this morning. But Soren would trade that and the beef jerky he’d managed to make for lunch for the companionable rambling Kurt always filled his day with.
“Ha, found you!” Soren’s head shot up from his lunch. Connor stood at the entrance of the room, a wide grin on his face. “Figured if I asked around for the Home Ec room, I’d find you eating something.”
“What are you doing here?”
Soren stepped forward, pulling Connor into a hug — he seemed to like them tight. Crushing the smaller man against his chest, the mage let Connor go a moment later, leaning to steal a kiss. He had to keep up appearances… though if he was honest, Soren enjoyed the physical contact.
“Oh, thought I’d surprise my boyfriend with some lunch,” Connor said, slinging his backpack off his shoulder. The smell of roasted pigeon filled the air, citrus hanging in Soren’s nose as Connor opened the bag. “And you can’t say no because I bought too much as it is.”
“Did you bring enough to share with the entire class?” Connor liked jokes. Maybe Soren could make him smile.
Connor winced slightly, glancing at Soren. Shaking his head with a tiny grin, he shoved a container of food at Soren.
“Eat up. I thought we could spring you for the rest of the day and take a walk to the river. Elias Academy is the neko school, so it’s got to be pretty dead around here with the Silence. No point sitting around doing nothing.”
“You knew about the Silence?” Soren swallowed a piece of pigeon, wincing as the bird burned down his oesophagus. “Why didn’t you warn me last night? You and Kurt both said I needed to be at her house this morning.”
“People forget.” Connor shrugged. “One year, I forgot my mom’s birthday. It happens.” Their eyes met, and Connor glanced down quickly. “Oh, before I forget, there’s a dance coming up next Urdyal… I think. You want to go with me?”
Soren frowned, swallowing another piece of food.
“I have nothing to wear. And I can’t dance.”
“I can’t dance either,” Connor said. “I know it’s on the full moon, so I get if you don’t want to come-”
“I do,” Soren said quickly. “I promise I’m not trying to beg out of it. But I can’t.”
“Okay.” Connor stared at Soren for a moment. His throat bobbed — was he actually nervous? “Um… there’s another thing. I thought about us, and… I mean, I’m going to be a werewolf someday, so I thought… I mean, if you’re okay with it….” Connor took a deep breath, exhaling roughly. “Will you turn me?”
Soren was already shaking his head. He couldn’t do that. Not that the idea of having sex with Connor wasn’t appealing — his pants were already tenting at the thought. But if they had sex and Connor didn’t turn, he’d immediately know Soren wasn’t actually a werewolf. And then Soren would have to deal with the fact that they’d actually had sex. It would make everything even worse, if that was even possible at this point.
“I can’t turn you,” he said, trying to stress the point.
Please let Connor get it. Soren didn’t know how much clearer he could be. He could not turn Connor.
“Is it…” Connor’s eyes flicked around the room. The only person still in the room was an elf who wasn’t paying attention to either of them. Still, Connor hesitated.
“I just can’t, okay?” Soren muttered, stabbing at his pigeon. He froze with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Is that what this is? You’re trying to buy my seed?”
“What?” Connor scoffed, shaking his head. “No, this is me trying to feed my mate. There are no strings attached to anything I do.” His eyes ran over Soren’s body. “It’s… not me, right? I mean, neither of us asked for this, and I get it if you’re not interested in… well, me.”
Soren shook his head hard.
“No. I’m… I’m really attracted to you.”
Why was that so hard to say out loud? Soren’s face heated up, his groin throbbing.
“I’m just… I’m a little worried,” Connor admitted. “Since you claimed me, it seems like I’ve been the one initiating contact. I mean, aside from you stalking me yesterday. I kind of feel like you don’t actually want to be with me.”
An escape! He could end things here, couldn’t he? Connor was giving him a way out! But… did he even want a way out any more?
Soren chewed at his lower lip. He stared at the food in his lap, his head shaking almost imperceptibly.
“I… I do want to be with you,” he said in a dizzying rush. “I just… I got in a lot of trouble for claiming you like I did. And I’m worried you don’t want me touching you, so I’m letting you lead.”
And like that, he was stuck yet again. Soren the werewolf. Soren, who would never be allowed to just be himself. How long could he keep this up?
Forever, if it meant keeping his friends.