On the Strawberry Moon - 27. Chapter 27

As Kalum sat in the car back to the care home, he felt like someone had cut him in half. He didn’t know how to feel without Jasper prodding him next to him. It was very weird sensation. He was sat the back of the large car while the social worker drove, humming.

He took out his phone and saw all the messages of support from the gang.

The radio suddenly announced, ‘this is the headline news. A teenage boy has been charged with the attempted murders of a school in...’

‘Oh,’ the social workers snapped her finger at the radio, turning it off with a click as she drove.

Kalum looked at her then looked down on his phone. He made the horrible decision to on google and click on the news.

Jasper had been charged. Attempted murder of students. 'The monster from school.'

Kalum put his phone deep into his pocket and stared at the window, watching the cars drive by next to them. The cars were all different colours and some were speeding.

For the first time in his life, he was on his own. Even after his parents had passed away from their chronic illnesses, Kalum always had Jasper. Horrible Jasper.

He didn’t know if freedom was meant to feel this uneasy.

***
It has been a while since Kalum saw the gang or been to school.

Time went very odd. No structure. Healing was so boring.

However, this particular afternoon, he was in his bedroom, watching YouTube, when a social care worker knocked on his door. He sat up as she peaked her head round the corner, ‘Your friends are here today, is that okay?’

He remembered last time when they tried to visit him. It was too much and he asked the social worker at the time if she could tell them to come back another time. It was weird for them to see him this exposed.

It had been a while, a few months, so he nodded, sitting up and said, ‘Yeah, sure.’

‘Okay,’ the social worker smiled and closed the door.

The door then opened slowly.

Oscar was the first one to pop her head round. The moment she saw Kalum she rushed to him and hugged him tight, the rest of the gang followed through, their faces mixed with relief and sadness and a whole mix of emotions.

Robert came in and sat on the other side of Kalum as the gang all sat down around him; they say on the floor or they were pulling up chairs.

‘Your hair,’ Oscar sniffed and giggled, sitting on the other side of him, pulling at the little strands of hair coming out.

‘Yeah, there was a bleed on the brain and there a big cut at the back of my head, so they had to stitch me up. The stitches are all gone now, so that's fine, they shaved all the hair off, but it’s growing back quickly,’ Kalum said, his hand instantly going to touch the scar at the back of his head.

Oscar’s face crumpled.

Sammy spoke, her voice croaked a little, ‘We brought all your homework round. But you shouldn’t worry about that because Daz did most of it for you.’

Kalum gave a little smile.

‘We’re just giving you any support you need,’ Daz gave a sad smile.

‘You guys are awesome,’ said Kalum.

‘No, we’re not,’ Billy’s voice broke. He rubbed his face, his voice getting high and wavy. ‘We messed up. We really messed up.’

‘No.’

‘We’re supposed to be your friends and we had no idea.’

‘That’s because I hid it well and I didn’t tell anyone.’

‘We should have made you feel like you could tell at least one of us,’ Tom murmured.

Robert didn’t say anything, instead he rubbed Kalum’s shoulders.

‘You guys are here now,’ Kalum said. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t want anyone round for a while, it’s been insane, it’s just insane.’

Then he looked at Tom, ‘I had no idea that Jasper was going to do that, you know? I didn’t even know Jasper was thinking of going that far. So, I know what it’s like to miss the clues. I didn’t even know he bought a gun.’

‘How long did it go on for?’ Oscar sniffed, rubbing his back.

‘A long time.’

‘Are you getting therapy or support or?’ Daz asked.

‘They’ve offered it, yeah, I don’t start it until next month.’

‘That’s so stupid, why can’t you do it now?’ Sammy muttered.

‘You have no idea how things work, do you,’ Daz almost rolled her eyes at Sammy.

Robert said quietly to Kalum, ‘You can talk with us too. You’re free to talk now.’

It felt like a massive ball blocked Kalum’s throat. He didn’t expect that sentence to give him that emotion.

He sniffed and he smiled, ‘It’ll be hard to hear.’

‘Good,’ Billy said. ‘We aren’t going anywhere.’

Standing up from the floor, Billy reached over and hugged him tight. Then Oscar hugged them both. Eventually one by one the gang all got up and all joined a group hug, all sat on Kalum’s bed, hugging him tight.

The overwhelming feeling of pure love choked Kalum and he let out one sob, the gang hugged him even tighter.

An hour later, the social worker let the gang order pizzas as they put the TV on in Kalum’s bedroom and they chatted.

They talked about a variety of things, asking the best questions they could to Kalum, letting Kalum control the conversation. They listened. The conversation now and then went to politics or school but Kalum didn’t mind that. He felt uncomfortable being centre of attention all the time so the conversation naturally leading to other things as well as himself felt nice.

‘How do you feel about Jasper now?’ Billy asked as he ate a slice of pizza.

Kalum shrugged and said, ‘It’s an odd one. I both love and hate him at the same time. How about you guys?’

‘I don’t how to feel about him anymore,’ Oscar replied, honestly.

‘That time you broke your arm?’ asked Tom. ‘He did that? How?’

‘Pinned me to the ground and just went to town on it. Like an insane moment from MMA, he twisted, dropped stuff on it and stamped hard on it,’ Kalum paused. ‘I didn’t know you could break an arm like that but, yeah.’

‘It’s just crazy,’ Tom shook his head.

‘That was before Christmas, wasn’t it?’ Sammy said. ‘What happened? Did he do that before?’

‘Break my bones? Not before no.’

‘Did anything trigger it?’

Oscar paused leaning forward to Kalum, ‘If you don’t feel comfortable, that’s okay.’

Kalum looked up and caught Robert’s eye. Robert looked a little nervous but drank some more soda from his can.

Kalum sighed and just said, ‘Yeah, something did trigger it. He got very angry because I wanted to date someone who wasn’t a twin.’

‘He got mad about that?’ Tom shock his head again. ‘Just can’t get my head around it at all.’

‘I wanted to ask Robert out.’

The gang paused their eating and drinking.

‘He really didn’t like that,’ Kalum let out a little laugh. ‘I had to date the exact same person he wanted to date, but I don’t think he ever found Hannah and Rosey attractive, he just liked the fact they were twins. I used to see him look over at the girls in our class who weren’t twins though.’

‘That’s weird he wanted yous to date twins only,’ Sammy said, bringing her knees up to her chest.

‘So, he controlled your sexuality too?’ Daz said leaning back against the wall.

Kalum gave a little laugh, ‘I didn’t have any sexuality for a while, I had to kind of, figure it out?’

‘All figured out?’ Billy asked.

‘Not yet, getting there,’ Kalum paused. He thought back to the girls and boys before Robert. He thought about the waitress in the café from his date with Rosey and Hannah. ‘I like people, regardless of what they are, I guess maybe, I’m bisexual or pansexual, maybe?’

‘You’re attracted to Pans?’ said Ronny, with a little smile.

‘That’s the one,’ Kalum stuck his tongue out and they had a little giggle.

Oscar turned to Robert, ‘Did you know about this?’

Robert nodded, ‘I wanted to ask Kalum out too but. Jasper. Ah, yeah.’

Oscar grinned and pushed Kalum more into Robert.

‘Well, now I’m dating someone else…’ Robert said.

Everyone looked shocked.

Robert burst out laughing, ‘Kidding. Kidding. Of course, I’m kidding.’

‘We could date now,’ Kalum looked at Robert and wiggled his eyebrows.

Robert just laughed and tapped his shoulder. The two shared a sweet smile between them.

‘Oscar and Billy have now been removed as the gang’s couple,’ Sammy grinned.

‘So pansexual or bisexual, it’s the same thing, isn’t it?’ Ronny asked. ‘Hey, what you are looking at me like that for, Daz?’

Kalum laughed.

Daz shook her head at Ronny and winked at Kalum, ‘So, you just fancy anyone with a good-looking face. Not Ronny.’

Kalum laughed loudly to that which made Daz smile.

***

When they finished their pizzas, Oscar turned around and announced, ‘So, you said before Jasper didn’t let you do a lot of things that you wanted to do.’

‘Right?’ Kalum said confused.

‘I think we should start doing stuff you want to do. For a while.’

‘Unless it’s boring,’ muttered Ronny who got a punch in the arm from Oscar.

‘Just pick one thing, right now, that he didn’t let you do,’ Oscar smiled.

One thing.

Kalum paused and leaned into Robert. Throughout the gang telling stories, eating, hanging out, he had taken hold of Robert’s hand. He now held Robert’s hand tighter whilst pondering.

His other free hand reached out to touch the back of his head.

‘Dye my hair,’ he said all of a sudden. ‘I wasn’t allowed to change my hair at all.’

‘Okay, okay, we can do something,’ Oscar grinned bringing her phone up. ‘So, what you thinking?’

‘I don’t know, something really ridiculous,’ grinned Kalum.

‘Bright colours or dark?’ Robert grinned at him.

‘Not sure.’

‘What’s your favourite colour?’

Kalum grinned and said the words out loud, ‘Orange.’

‘Oh yeah,’ grinned Sammy reaching over and offering Kalum a high five.

‘Ew, two gingers,’ Billy sniggered. ‘Ow!’

Sammy whacked him hard and stuck her tongue out at him.

‘How about blue?’ Tom offered, showing Kalum pictures of hairstyles on his phone.

Kalum’s eyes lit up, ‘Yeah! Yeah, I love that.’

‘Like silver blue or green blue?’ asked Robert.

‘Silver. Yeah,’ Kalum paused and nodded. He turned to Oscar, ‘What you think? Silver blue?’

‘I see it, and I like it,’ she nodded and typed into her phone, ‘There’s a shop down the road that sells some dye.’

‘Shouldn’t he go to a barber?’ Billy’s voice trailed off.

Oscar raised an eyebrow at him, ‘Nah, we’re doing it. Right now.’

Getting up, Oscar grabbing her coat, ‘We’ll go now, come on.’

‘But,’ Billy protested.

‘Just the girls,’ she grinned at him. ‘We’ll buy the dye and come back. You’ve got your own bathroom, we can do the hair in there.’

Sammy sighed and shoved a whole pizza slice into her mouth before standing up and whacking her hands together, ‘Let’s go!’

Daz stood up and nodded over at Kalum, ‘You trust us, right?’

‘As long as it’s not purple dye you bring back it’s fine.’

Everyone laughed as the girls left the room, Oscar leaned down and kissed Billy on the cheek as she left.

‘Yeah, they’re mad, them lot,’ Ronny looked over at Kalum. ‘I can see why you’re attracted to pans instead.’

The guys all laughed out hard, Kalum didn’t realise how good it felt to laugh properly again.

Later on in the bathroom, they were all laughing again as the blue dye went everywhere. Oscar tried to take control the situation, but everyone wanted to dye his short strands of hair. Sammy got excited and started to do his eyebrows as well. Kalum was sat there, on a stool, with a big towel around his shoulders, staring at the stained mirror laughing at his blue reflection. Tom decided to play ‘Blue Da ba dee’ on his phone while Billy took photos and videos of the whole procedure.

***

The walls were pale and dirty, even the windows were dirty.

But it was the smell Kalum noticed. It was busy all around him, he felt boxed in with the smell of bleach and cheap air freshener.

Sitting down at the small table, Kalum clasped his hands in front of him. The bell rang out harsh and sharp.

The offenders came out one by one for their visits.

Jasper.

The twins locked eyes as Jasper sat down. He was wearing grey dull joggers and jumper.

The sound of people chatting was loud all around them. A few laughers from different tables and some family members shouting and arguing.

‘Your hair,’ Jasper made the first comment.

‘Oh,’ Kalum instantly touch his blue short hair. ‘Yeah.’

He paused before declaring, ‘Robert and I are properly together too.’

Raising an eyebrow, Jasper simply nodded and shrugged.

‘Guys send their love,’ added Kalum.

Jasper rolled his eyes at that lie, placing his hands on the table.

Kalum clicked his tongue and said, ‘Is it weird that you know that I’m definitely not Simon anymore?’

Jasper grinned a little and mumbled to the table, ‘Yeah, you could say that.’

‘It makes total sense if you were punishing Simon, he sounds like a jerk.’

Jasper let out a little giggle at that. He then paused and murmured, ‘I don’t understand why you are here, or why you were let here by anyone.’

‘I do what I want,’ declared Kalum. ‘I want to visit you, talk to you, properly. Once every three weeks is more than enough.’

‘You will be judged by others for visiting me.’

‘I don’t care what people think, this is my own choice and everything is on my terms, I can walk away any time I want and I can come back anytime I want too.’

Jasper, impressed with his brother’s new attitude, simply nodded.

‘You’re still my brother,’ Kalum said. ‘It’s just going to be different. You needed help Jasper; I am glad you are getting it in here.’

Sighing, Jasper, sat up and replied, ‘You’re right.’

‘We won’t ever be the identical again,’ smiled Kalum.

‘I can see that,’ Jasper nodded at his blue hair.

‘Might change it to a different colour next week. How are they treating you here?’

‘I haven’t been beaten up yet.’

‘Well, that’s some good news.’

***

After they talked for an hour, then visiting time was over.

As Kalum and the other visitors left, Kalum walked into the reception.

Robert, who has been waiting for him, sprung to his feet and waited with baited breath.

Kalum smiled and nodded.

Fresh start.