On the Strawberry Moon - 17. Chapter 17

It had been a few days now and none of the carers had spoken to him properly about what happened at the hospital. They would have been told, or should have been, they asked Kalum some question and not much happened after. There were so many new kids coming in they just didn’t have the time, Kalum assumed.

Or they simply didn’t care. Or they didn’t have the time to care. Not that Kalum was offended by that, that was just the way things were around there.

They only cared when it got put in the newspapers, like that Jenny girl, who was being molested for years before they did anything.

Life of the care home kid, your life was just a file.

Kalum was walking in the hallway and noticed that the care home main office was empty. Which was strange because there was always someone in.

Kalum was feeling nosy that morning.

He always wanted to see his file. He’d be in this office a couple times when him and Jasper got told off so he knew where the folder was. It was always taken out the same cabinet when they were getting told off.

He pushed the door further open and went into the office, seizing the rare opportunity. He saw the file cabinet straight away. The black shine of it beckoned him in.

Kalum knew where the key was.

The office looked busy and cramped with papers and folders, and there was a white board with green pen smeared all over it. There were half empty coffee mugs on the table, and ring stains where hot drinks had been. It smelt of strong perfume in there too. Adult smell of stress and overworking.

He remembered the key most of the time being put in the third drawer on the desk.

Keeping an ear out for people coming past the office, Kalum quietly went to the third drawer. Inside was cello tape and notepads and mixed blue and black ball pens. He rummaged through and found the little dainty key. Not very secure.

He went to the cabinet and opened it up, looking down through all the papers and folders. All in alphabetical order. Kalum pulled the cabinet drawer out slowly and fingered through the files.

He got to, W, Whiteson. Kalum and Jasper Whiteson. Peering up to see if anyone had come past, he was relieved when he heard silence back.

Kalum reached down and took his folder out. He flipped it open. Frowning, he was concerned it was thin but figured most of the information would be on the computer which he knew he couldn’t access.

He skimmed the notes.

‘Kalum, Jasper, Simon.’

Simon?

Kalum frowned as he went through the pages. There was a photo of all three of them, about five or six years old.

Kalum stared, his brain hurting.

Simon.

Who was Simon? Why couldn’t he remember Simon?

He read on. There was an accident, both Simon and him were rushed to hospital with head injuries. Simon didn’t make it.

He stared longer at the photo of three identical brothers, all smiling like soldiers in the picture.

Suddenly he heard footsteps, he pushed the file back in the cabinet and tried to get out.

As soon as he got to the door, it opened and he froze.

The main manager, Sharon, narrowed her eyes on him confused.

‘Sorry, was going to have a word with you,’ Kalum stuttered, creeping around her to get out. ‘But I’ll leave it.’

‘I’m free now?’ Sharon offered, her gaze softening.

‘Nah, it’s fine, no worries’ Kalum gave a small grin. ‘Just school stuff, not a big deal.’

‘Well, you can always come back,’ Sharon smiled.

***

Kalum kept quiet while sitting in his bedroom with Jasper.

He wished he could remember the accident and wished he could remember Simon.

Why couldn’t he remember his own brother?

Did Jasper remember? Jasper was the only one without a head injury.

***

Kalum opened his eyes. The image was very distorted, he knew he was in a dream but he was unable to move. He must have been lying down because he was looking up. He saw a jarring set of stairs they seemed so high and sharp, each step a cliff edge. At the top of the stairs, he saw two Jaspers. They were from that photo in the file. Both looked five years or six years old. Their faces were dark and shadowy.

Their voices were all mushed and wiry.

Then he saw one of the Jaspers push the other Jasper.

‘I hate you!’ the shout rang through like sharp needle piercing.

The other Jasper then fell. He was falling fast and hard and directly into Kalum.

***

Kalum woke up, his eyes darting around, feeling like he had just escaped a trap. He looked around the shadows of his room.

Strange dream. A memory, flashback? Was it Jasper that pushed Simon or did Simon push Jasper? Or did that not happen at all?

Panic fluttered in Kalum’s chest. He tried to turn on his side and pull his cover more over him. He knew he need to get back to sleep but his mind was wired awake.

***

Feeling groggy in the morning, Kalum sat up in bed, he needed to speak to Jasper.

He knew he would get his head bitten again. But he had to try.

He managed to climb up to Jasper’s bed. ‘Morning.’

‘Why are you here?’ groaned Jasper. ‘Another dream?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Who got molested this time?’

‘Do you remember Simon?’

Jasper paused. He sat up, rubbering his face.

‘We had another brother, Simon,’ said Kalum. ‘He died.’

‘Yeah. I remember,’ Jasper said, bluntly.

‘How come you’ve never talked about him? My memory is really bad.’

‘He’s dead. You forgot about him and I’m the bad guy because I don’t want to talk about it?’

‘No,’ Kalum paused. ‘You can talk to me. If you like or, um, want. Did he die from falling down the stairs? I just, I’m confused why I can’t remember.’

‘You got your head smashed up, idiot,’ Jasper rolled his eyes.

‘Do you know where his grave is?’

Jasper snorted, ‘What.’

‘I want to visit him.’

‘Why would you want to do something stupid like that?’

‘Because he is family,’ Kalum looked Jasper in the eyes.

Jasper laid back in bed and rolled over. ‘Knock yourself, he’ll be in a graveyard around here somewhere, good thing we didn’t move care homes that much.’

‘Do you want to search the graves with me?’

‘I’d like you for you to get lost now.’

‘Maybe the dream I had of someone being molested was Simon?’

‘Simon is dead and you will be too if you don’t go away,’ Jasper stated into his pillow.