Permanently Black and Blue - 9. Chapter 9

When they came in the kitchen, Ruth had the oven open just a crack as she peeked inside.

Jesse took a deep smell of the aromas in the room. “Wow, that smells amazing.”

“Told you rabbit was good,” Shaun said with a smirk.

Ruth glanced up at them both, then did a doubletake. “Shaun…” Her mouth turned down at the corners. “Where’s your shirt?”

“In the garage.” Shaun scowled and crossed his arms over his bare chest. “Didn’t you see me carrying that buck? I got soaked in his blood.” Shaun looked uncomfortable on display. His skin was scarred, but his arms and his chest were corded with muscle. His waist was neat and trim. Jesse was a little taken aback by the lean definition of his upper body. He looked like some kind of flawed Greek God.

Ruth planted her hands on her hips. “I’ll have to soak your shirt in Oxy-clean tonight.”

“I’m going to grab a shower,” Shaun grumbled as he started for the living room. “C’mon, Jesse,” he said over his shoulder.

Ruth turned back to the oven for another peek. Jesse paused behind her and snuck a glance. Two pieces of meat, rabbit-sized, cooked in a glass pan with halved potatoes and diced onions.

“That looks good, Mrs.…” Jesse hesitated, and Ruth turned around slowly to assess him. “Um…” Jesse fidgeted under her gaze. “I’m sorry. I don’t actually know what I should call you.”

Ruth pursed her lips. “Ruth’s fine.”

“It looks really good, Ruth,” Jesse said awkwardly. “I’ve never had rabbit before.”

“Hmm.” Ruth shuffled to the fridge and opened the door. She pulled out a head of lettuce then nudged it shut with her hip. “I suppose you’re in luck then. I make the best slow-roasted rabbit in town.”

“That is pretty lucky,” Jesse said with a laugh.

“Jesse!” Shaun’s face appeared in the doorway, reddened with irritation. “Hurry up!”

Jesse smiled warmly at the old woman, then rolled his eyes in Shaun’s direction. “Better go,” he murmured.

Ruth shook her head as she turned back to the counter and took a cutting board off a hook on the back wall. Jesse slipped from the room as she began chopping lettuce.

Eli was on the couch and Shaun stood across from him at the entrance to the hall. He was hiding his naked chest again and looked deeply uncomfortable. Jesse noticed the gauze over his stitches was bloodied. He must have pulled them again during the hunt.

“Ruthie said you two bagged a buck,” Eli spoke up.

Jesse nodded. “And Shaun carried it home.” He smiled shyly at the boy in question. “On his back. I didn’t even know you could do that.”

“It’s not recommended.” Eli chuckled. “My son and I used to have a couple ATVs for hauling, but…well.” He rubbed his bristly chin in thought as the smile fell away. “He sold them for cash, if I’m being honest.”

“Great story, grandpa.” Shaun stepped closer and snatched Jesse’s arm. “But we need to clean up before dinner,” Shaun grumbled then yanked Jesse down the hall. Jesse gasped and stumbled to keep up.

“Okay…” Eli watched them go with raised brows.

They reached the end of the hall and Shaun pushed Jesse toward the bathroom. “Make it quick,” he snapped.

“Okay,” Jesse murmured. He could sense Shaun’s frustration building at his back and he scurried into the room without looking over his shoulder.

He shut the door behind him and smiled when he spotted a stack of washcloths on the linen rack over the toilet. He spent a few moments cleaning his groin and his jeans with some water and a bit of hand soap, then washed his hands and face, and fixed his hair in the mirror. He left the bathroom feeling a lot better about his appearance.

Shaun waited in the hall with an armful of clothes, scowling. “Took you long enough,” he muttered, then brushed past Jesse and slammed the door in his face.

Jesse pouted after him, then idled in the hall as he listened to the water start inside. He couldn’t decide whether he should go back down the hall or into Shaun’s room.

“Jesse?” Eli’s voice came from the living room and Jesse groaned. He dragged himself down the hall and met Eli’s eyes over the back of the couch. “Come sit.” Eli patted the seat beside him. “Did he leave you all by your lonesome?”

Jesse slid into the room and gingerly took a seat on the end. “Shaun said he’d leave me for a couple minutes to take a shower, but I kind of thought he was joking,” he said. “He warned me not to tell you anything too…personal, though.”

Eli laughed. “Did he give you any safe topics?”

“Maybe the weather,” Jesse shrugged.

“And how is the weather?”

“It’s getting muggy out.” Jesse leaned back in his seat as he glanced at the TV. It was a black and white western, something he’d never heard of before. “That walk through the woods was brutal. The humidity was killer.”

“I’d imagine,” Eli said cheerfully. “They said the highs today would near 99 degrees.”

There was a clatter in the kitchen and Jesse looked through the doorway as Ruth set the cutting board in the sink. She waddled to the fridge and reached into the cabinet overhead to pull down a bag of flour.

“I don’t mean to pry,” Eli said, and Jesse turned back to the living room. The old man watched him with sparkling eyes. “But what exactly happened to Shaun’s hand?”

Jesse twisted his own hands in his lap. “What did he tell you?”

“Shaun said you were ‘all over him’ at practice and that the band had noticed,” Eli said with a look of bemusement. “But I don’t see how that caused the fracture.”

Jesse blinked rapidly in disbelief. “He told you a lot.”

“A lot of bits and pieces.”

Jesse looked over his shoulder into the hall, then to his right, into the kitchen at Ruth, pouring the flour into a large bowl. “We were at a bar with the band and after a couple hours of drinking, Shaun and I ended up in the bathroom…kissing… in one of the stalls,” he whispered, and Eli subtly shifted in his direction. “Right in the middle of it, Will and Danny came in to piss and they were talking about us because they thought we’d left,” he muttered. “When Will said he’d kick Shaun out of the band if he found out he was gay, I thought Shaun’s eyes were going to pop out of his head.”

The water shut off in the bathroom. “Jerks,” Eli muttered as Jesse looked worriedly over his shoulder, but the door at the end of the hall remained closed.

“Shaun was really upset,” he whispered. “Once Will and Danny were gone, he left the stall and walked up to the mirror so he could glare at himself. I don’t know what he was thinking, but…he broke it. And his hand.”

“Shaun’s always struggled with his anger,” Eli said. “When he was younger, he had these destructive tantrums. Over the trivialist of things. Anytime. Anywhere he felt like it.” He shook his head. “He’d have them at home. At school. At church. In the supermarket.”

“I know what that’s like,” Jesse murmured. “The twins have a lot of tantrums…”

“These weren’t normal tantrums,” Eli said gravely. “Shaun would put holes in the wall. He’d bust windows, break doors, and smash furniture into bits. He’d throw anything he could get his hands on. It was total destruction.”

Jesse blinked rapidly. “The twins haven’t broken any furniture yet.”

Eli’s face was grim. “And when we’d restrain him, Shaun would tear at his hair, bite himself, scratch his face.” He fell back wearily on the couch, exhausted from the memory. “We saw psychiatrists. We put him on meds. We had him go through all kinds of therapies, but do you know what finally calmed him down?”

Jesse shook his head.

“That guitar,” Eli said, his eyes glittering again. “When I bought it for him he changed overnight. He found a purpose. He dedicated himself to learning the ins and outs of that instrument all on his own.” He sat up and glanced at the TV, a faint smile on his face. “I’ve never seen a kid latch onto a new skill as quick as he did.” Then the bathroom door swung open and he fell quiet.

Jesse waited tensely as Shaun stalked down the hall.

“Did you have a nice chat?”

Jesse tilted his head back. Shaun stood just over his shoulder with his hair in wet strands around his face. His eyes narrowed and Jesse hurried to form a reply. “H-he asked me about your h-hand.”

Shaun’s eyebrows rose in warning.

“I-I was telling him about the mirror,” Jesse stammered.

“I already told him about that,” Shaun grumbled, then he stepped around the couch and sat moodily between Jesse and his grandfather. He wore a long-sleeved band tee and jeans. Jesse had seen the ensemble before, but Shaun just…wore it differently today. With the freshly washed hair and the pleasant aroma of soap, he was a totally different person.

“You should put some ice on it now,” Eli said. “While we wait for dinner.”

“I’m gonna take a couple Ibuprofens, too.” Shaun got up again with a sigh. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

“We’ll be waiting,” Eli said brightly.

Shaun disappeared into the back of the house as Eli snuck a conspiratorial grin in Jesse’s direction. “Best not to mention anything I just said.” He winked. “And I’ll do the same. I won’t mention you said anything about kissing.”

Jesse blushed. “Did you know we were…?”

“I heard about the first kiss,” Eli chuckled. “But I wasn’t sure if the two of you had made up yet or not.”

Shaun swept down the hall again. “What was that grandpa?”

“It’s going to take a couple weeks for that hand to get back to normal again,” Eli said smoothly. “But I think you’ll be able to tough it out. It’s unfortunate, but you’ve been through worse than a fracture.”

Shaun pulled to a stop as he experimentally opened and closed his hand. “Christ… wish I hadn’t done it though,” he groaned, then passed into the kitchen.

Ruth pulled the rabbit out of the oven as Shaun entered the room. She promptly replaced it with a cookie sheet dotted with puffy, uncooked dough. Shaun retrieved an icepack from the fridge and took a look at the food as he passed. “How much longer?”

“Fifteen minutes,” Ruth said without turning from the stove. “The salad’s chilling in the fridge, the meat’s cooling, and the dinner rolls will be done in just a few minutes.”

Shaun nodded and left her to her work. Then he came back into the living room and sat between Jesse and Eli again with his right hand settled on his knee. He pressed the cold compress over his swollen knuckles. “Shit,” he hissed. “That doesn’t even feel good.”

“It will help the swelling,” Eli said sagely. “Ice it for a while.”

Shaun held the ice in place with a frown. Jesse struggled with the urge to help him…to touch him in some way…but he knew he’d better be on his best behavior in front of Ruth. She hadn’t been listening when he and Eli had been talking earlier, but she had a glass of lemonade now, and she took little, ladylike sips from the glass as she set the kitchen table. Dinner was almost prepared, and Ruth’s full attention would be on them soon enough.

“Can we change the channel?” Shaun snapped after a moment. “I’m sick of westerns.”

Eli grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels. “Tell me when to stop.”

“Stop,” Shaun grunted. It was the History Channel and Forged in Fire was on. Shaun alternatively iced and then tested his broken hand as he watched the men compare their knives. He winced and grunted under his breath as he flexed his fingers.

On his other side, Eli stroked his bristly chin in contemplation as he gazed sightlessly at the reality programing. Maybe ten minutes passed like that.

Jesse glanced into the kitchen as Ruth checked the dinner rolls. He turned back to the TV with a sigh. He was bored. He couldn’t touch Shaun or kiss him…they couldn’t do anything good!

One of the contestants on the show mentioned his hometown and Jesse perked up with interest. “Tampa, Florida.” He looked eagerly at the two men sitting to his left. “We lived there for almost a year. I loved it.”

“How many times have you moved?” Eli asked curiously.

“Oh, wow,” Jesse laughed. He had to pause for a moment to tally it up. “In my entire lifetime, I think I’ve been through twenty different moves.”

“That’s a shame.” Eli’s lips turned down at the corners. “I’ve lived in this town my entire life.”

“I wonder what that’s like,” Jesse said distantly. “Never leaving.”

“It’s boring,” Shaun grumbled. “I wish I could get the fuck out of this town.”

“Speak for yourself.” Eli elbowed him playfully. “I bought this place straight out of high school and fixed it up. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more. It’s my dream home.”

“This is your dream home?” Shaun sneered.

Ruth appeared in the doorway. “Dinner’s ready,” she said sharply, then her expression turned stern. “Come eat while it’s hot.”

Jesse got up immediately. Eli followed him at a slower pace, grabbing the armrest for balance as he rose, but Shaun remained seated, glowering at the melting ice pack in his lap.

“Shaun,” Jesse whispered as Eli sidled past them and went into the kitchen. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”

“She’s in a mood,” Shaun grumbled. “I can tell.”

“It’ll be alright.” Jesse said. “She just cooked an entire meal, so she probably won’t bite your head off.”

“Trust me. This won’t be pretty,” Shaun muttered as he got up. “I’ve been avoiding her most of the week. I’ve been taking meals in my room.”

Jesse giggled and Shaun narrowed his eyes.

“What?”

“You’re adorable,” Jesse said with a smile. “You’re so stubborn.”

Shaun brushed past him with a huff.

The kitchen table was circular with four wooden chairs. Eli sat with his back to the front door. Shaun yanked the chair out across from him and fell into the seat with a sigh. Ruth’s glass of lemonade was to his right, at the setting closest to the oven so Jesse took the last chair available, against the wall. It was a narrow space and he just barely fit.

The rabbit dish was at the center of the table. A pitcher of lemonade was to the side and a large, glass bowl with dressed greens was on the other.

Ruth brought a basket of rolls to the table and set it beside the salad. Then she slid into her seat and steepled her fingers. “Eli? Could you say grace tonight?”

Eli clasped his hands together, too, and Jesse followed his example to be polite.

“Shaun,” Ruth snapped, and Jesse glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

Shaun was slumped sideways in his chair with a bored look on his face.

“Sit up immediately,” Ruth hissed. “And bow your head.”

Shaun gave his grandmother a death glare, but he straightened and did as she asked. He folded his hands in front of him and grudgingly bent his head.

Eli cleared his throat. “Should I begin?”

“Yes!”

Eli recited a few short verses. The tone of his voice was soothing and warm. It was over in less than a minute and Jesse raised his head and timidly opened his eyes to see Ruth and Eli reaching for utensils. Ruth used a set of tongs to serve salad onto everyone’s side plates while Eli jumped right in and got himself some meat and potatoes with his fork.

Shaun poured lemonade into the glass in front of him, then switched the full glass with Jesse’s empty one. “Here.”

“Thank you,” Jesse said, touched by the gesture.

Shaun grumbled inaudibly as he poured a glass for himself. Then he reached for some dinner rolls. He set one on Jesse’s plate and dropped the other on his own. He turned to the rabbit next and quickly portioned meat and potatoes onto both his and Jesse’s plates.

“Thanks,” Jesse muttered.

Ruth watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow. “How did your friend handle the gun?”

“Jesse did alright.” Shaun finished with the meat and turned back to his own plate. Jesse looked nervously at the old woman, but she had her gaze locked on Shaun. “I had to help him a little, but we downed that buck in a single shot,” he grunted as he began to cut his rabbit into bits. He struggled, because of his hand, but he soldiered on. He didn’t complain. “We didn’t have to wait for him either. We went out to grandpa’s special place, sat down for a cigarette, and I look up and there he is, standing on the edge of the meadow.”

“Did you have any trouble stringing him up?” Eli asked.

“Nope.” Shaun set his knife aside. “He’s ready to go.”

Eli beamed. “We’ll go out after dinner and clean him up.”

“Sounds good.” Shaun leaned over his plate and began to shovel food into his mouth.

Jesse had just finished cutting his meat and he speared a little piece of rabbit with his fork. He looked at it from a few different angles, then took a cautious bite. “Oh!” Jesse was pleasantly surprised. “It’s really good!” The taste was gamy, but the seasoning changed the flavor and made it special. He stabbed a second piece and chewed it happily. “What did you use on this, Ruth?”

“Worcestershire’s the secret,” Ruth said with a faint smile. “It’s not the same dish without it.”

“I’ve never used it, but I want to get really good at cooking one day,” Jesse said dreamily. “Maybe when I get my own place.”

“Why wait,” Ruth said. “Don’t you cook at your house now?”

“For my siblings,” Jesse said with a shrug. ““Every day after school.”

Ruth nodded slowly. “That’s impressive.”

Jesse laughed. “Well, its stuff like hotdogs and macaroni and cheese. But still. It’s the thought that counts, right?”

Ruth cringed. “I suppose.” Her eyes slid to her grandson. “On that note, I hope you’re ready for school tomorrow.”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Shaun grumbled at his plate.

“It’s almost the end of the year,” Ruth said in a low voice. “I’m praying there won’t be any more dramatical disasters that cause you to miss class.

Shaun, in the middle of eating a chunk of roasted potato, lowered his fork. “Dramatical? What the fuck do you mean by that?”

Ruth popped a bite of salad into her mouth and chewed. “Your grades are bad enough as it is. You can’t afford to get embarrassed and lay in your bedroom for a week.”

“Who said I was embarrassed?” Shaun set his fork down with a clink. “And the time off school wasn’t my fault. I had an infection. The doctor gave me a week off school!”

“I was right outside your hospital room, Shaun. I heard you badger the doctor into writing that excuse.” Ruth’s eyes shot to Jesse, then quickly away.” Some cock and bull about a fight with a schoolfriend.”

Shaun slammed his broken fist on the table. “Shut up!” His face screwed up with incredible pain, but he was silent, and his eyes flashed with rage.

Unfazed, Ruth primly finished her salad in two bites. “You’re lack of motivation is deeply concerning,” she continued as she pushed the side plate away and started in on the rabbit next. She cut it neatly into bite-size pieces. “How do you expect to graduate at the rate you’re going?”

“I’ve got more motivation in my little finger than you have in your entire body,” Shaun said through his teeth. “And I couldn’t care less if I graduate.” He watched Ruth with a sneer as she tried some of her rabbit. “I want to play music. That’s all I care about.”

Ruth waved a dismissive hand. “You need to grow up and get your head out of the clouds.”

Shaun grit his teeth together. The sound of them grinding was audible.

“You need a trade.” Ruth took another bite. “Like your grandfather,” she said through her mouthful.

Shaun looked away in disgust. “Whatever.”

“Fifty years he’s been at the factory,” Ruth grumbled. “He pays the bills, buys all our necessities, and puts food on the table every single night.”

“Good for him.”

Ruth’s dark eyes flashed. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you? That level of commitment?”

“Grandpa’s a slave to the man,” Shaun sneered. “But I’m not living that kind of life. Fuck that.”

Ruth dumped her utensils and poked a shaking finger at her grandson. “You have to break away from those delinquents you call friends! They’re nothing but a bad example!”

“The band?!”

“I don’t know who you run with,” Ruth growled. “But they’re a bunch of losers who think smoking dope all day will get them somewhere in life. They have no ambitions. They have no morals.”

Shaun pushed his chair back and stood. His plate was close to empty, there were a couple bites of potatoes left behind, but he hadn’t touched his side salad. “I’m going to the garage,” he said darkly, then glanced at Eli. “How long until you’re done?”

Eli’s plate was still mostly full. He pushed his food around appraisingly. “Less than five minutes.”

Shaun nodded, then stalked to the door with purpose.

“Shaun! Hold up!” Jesse wasn’t even close to being done, but he wasn’t about to be left with the parentals. Not after a scene like that… He squeezed out from behind the table. “Sorry,” he said to Ruth. “Thanks for dinner.” Then he flew after the other boy.

Shaun waited on the porch with his back to the house and his arms resting on the railing. “That fucking bitch!” he hissed when Jesse stepped up beside him. The orangy-red sun cast a golden light across his face.

Jesse drank in his handsome features as he touched his shoulder. He didn’t know what to say. Ruth seemed to have Shaun’s best interests in mind, but she obviously didn’t know how to communicate with him. Not that Jesse had any better ideas…

“You should probably go,” Shaun said with a sigh. “We’re gonna skin that buck and cut him into quarters.”

“Right.” Jesse shivered. “Then I’m out of here.”

Shaun smirked at him. “I’ll be on the bus in the morning. Try not to shit yourself in excitement.”

Jesse leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Thanks for the warning.”

Shaun grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back for a proper kiss. It was quick, but Shaun was insistent as he pressed his tongue deep into Jesse’s mouth and sampled the flavors. Shaun held him firmly in place until he was done then tore his mouth away with a wet, sucking sound. “Now go,” he hissed as he nudged Jesse in the chest. “Before you get me hard again.”

Jesse stumbled back with a laugh. “I love you, asshole.”

“Go home, Jesse.” Shaun flipped him off.

Jesse pouted, but he wasn’t going to make a thing out of it. Not tonight. All things considered; Jesse had enjoyed his weekend with Shaun. He stepped off the porch, crunched through the gravel drive, and started through the long grass toward home.

When he tried the front door, he was surprised to find it locked. He whirled for the driveway and blinked in surprise. “What the hell?” The van was gone, and Jesse didn’t have a key! He walked around back and found the sliding glass door to the kitchen was unlocked.

He ducked inside. “Hello?”

The house was deathly silent and that made no sense. He’d stopped by earlier that afternoon, after he and Shaun had returned from Will’s, and everyone had been home. The kids had been watching TV downstairs, Monica and the baby were in the kitchen, and Sam, upstairs.

Jesse had taken a shower, changed, then spent some time with Brian playing blocks while the twins binge-watched a mindless cartoon.

Jesse had been antsy to see Shaun again, though, so after making a quick sandwich for lunch, he’d put his shoes on and said he was going back to Shaun’s. Brian hadn’t been happy, and he’d pouted epically from the pile of his blocks, but Jesse had assured him that he’d be back.

“Hello!?”

But it seemed Brian had stepped out before Jesse could return and that was highly unusual.

Jesse looked at his phone. It was just after 7 and it was a school night…

After looking in the kitchen for a note – there was nothing – Jesse went upstairs to check the bedrooms. Even Sam was missing. Jesse fell back on his brother’s bed and sent Monica a text first.

What’s going on? Where is everyone?

He waited a beat, then sent another to Sam.

Where are you, dickhead? Where are the kids?

Jesse stretched out on the bed while he waited for a reply. He glanced out the window. The sun burned red on the dark-blue horizon. It would be dark in a couple hours. Maybe Monica had taken everyone out for dinner…

Jesse’s phone buzzed and he fumbled to check his messages. It was from Monica.

The babies are at daycare. Sam and the twins are at the house.

Jesse’s brow furrowed with concern.

Not true. I’m at the house now and Sam and the twins aren’t here!

He waited almost three minutes for a reply. He was tapping his fingers along the edge of his phone when Monica got around to answering him.

Idk Jesse. Did you text him? I’m working right now.

Jesse typed with a scowl.

Working? And yes, mom, I texted him!

Jesse sat back as he waited for a reply that didn’t come.

Monica didn’t work weekends. It was the only two days Jesse got off from babysitting and she’d always made it known at work that she couldn’t pick up shifts. What the hell was going on?

Jesse went back to Sam’s messages with a huff and mashed the call button. He held the phone to his ear as he waited through the rings, but when voicemail picked up, he ended the call in frustration.

“Fucking great.” Jesse shut off the screen and went downstairs to sit on the couch. He turned the TV on and watched a cooking show as he waited anxiously for an update.

Jesse made it through one and a half episodes of Chopped when he heard a car pulling in the driveway. He ran to the window and was blinded by a brilliant set of headlights. He shielded his eyes and looked again.

Kyle’s Cadillac parked in the driveway and the twins hopped out of the back and ran for the door. Sam got out the front as the kids rushed through the grass. He laughed and a thick trail of smoke escaped his lips. Jesse could see Kyle through the door, too, talking with a big smile on his face.

Jesse gnashed his teeth. “Fucking Kyle…”

There was pounding on the front door and Jesse lurched away from the window.

“We had ice cream!” Allison cried as she bounced inside.

“And we went golfing,” Tyler said, following at a slower pace, but he had chocolate ice cream stains on the front of his shirt, and he looked very pleased with himself.

“It’s called putt-putt.”

“Whatever.” Tyler shoved past Allison and walked around the couch. He jumped up on the cushions with a mean smile. “Your just jealous because you came in last place.”

Allison pouted at him. “I don’t care.”

“Who wants to be last place?” Tyler gloated. “And my triple chocolate explosion was better than your unicorn thing.”

“It was a sparkle unicorn sundae, and it was amazing!”

“Amazingly gross.” Tyler made a puke face and Allison scampered over the couch and began to aggressively kick him for more space.

“Why does your fat butt take up so much room!” she laughed. “Move over!”

“Get off me!” Tyler whined as he kicked his sister back with vehemence.

“Stop!” Jesse ran his fingers through his hair. “How much sugar did you guys get?”

“Triple. Chocolate. Explosion!” Allison wacked Tyler viciously in the groin.

“Ouch!” Tyler doubled over in pain. “You’re a bitch, Allie!”

“Tyler!” Jesse gaped at the little boy. “I can’t believe you just said that!”

“What’d he say?” Sam asked as he strolled through the door. He shut it behind him and turned the lock. “Sorry we didn’t leave a note. I figured you wouldn’t be home until late.”

Jesse looked Sam up and down as weed rolled off his form in pungent waves. Sternly, he crossed his arms and Sam’s red-rimmed eyes widened dramatically.

“Is something wrong?”

“You’re high!” Jesse cried.

Sam smiled. “Yeah. I’m definitely stoned.” He breezed to the armchair in front of the window and fell into the seat.

“What were you doing with Kyle? And why did he show up and randomly take you out for weed and ice cream?!” Jesse checked the window, but Kyle’s car was already gone. “And why did you bring the kids with you?!” He reached around his brother and pulled the drapes shut with a huff.

“He asked if I wanted to come out.” Sam watched him with amusement. “He knew I had the kids with me. It wasn’t even an issue. Everybody had fun.”

Jesse growled with frustration. “How did this happen?!”

“We’re friends on Instagram now,” Sam said coolly. “We’ve been talking for a couple days.”

“Are you kidding me!”

“Relax. He was really cool,” Sam drawled. “Kyle knew about this place off the highway. It had a little putt-putt course for the kids and an ice cream parlor for everybody else. They had a lot of fancy shit and Kyle paid for everything.”

“When’d you find the time to smoke?” Jesse sneered.

“The twins played a round on their own while we baked out the car,” Sam said excitedly. “It was awesome!”

Jesse huffed. “I’ll bet.”

Sam gave him a loaded look. “We talked about you.”

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

“About you and Shaun,” Sam said with a sigh. “Kyle’s got a thing for Shaun, too, you know.”

“I know,” Jesse said through his teeth.

“He asked a lot of questions about you,” Sam said, looking down at his hands. “Maybe I said too much.”

Jesse turned away with a groan. “I don’t want to know what you said. Don’t tell me.” The twins were watching from the couch and Jesse made a face at them. They turned back to the TV as one, but they weren’t paying attention. They continued to sneak glances at the teens as they talked across the room, but at least they weren’t fighting anymore. That was something.

“So…” Sam said and Jesse glanced over his shoulder, his lip curling. “Mom took a shift at the hospital tonight.”

Jesse deflated. His phone was still clutched in his hand and he waved it for reference. “That’s what she said when I texted her.” He slid the phone into his back pocket with a scowl. “But she was too busy to say anything else. I’ve been in the dark for the past hour.”

“When she took us to the mall yesterday,” Sam said slowly. “She said she was going to buy us shit we needed, but we ended up in a bunch of different lady stores.”

Jesse blinked. “Umm…”

“Everything she bought was for her. Clothes. Shoes. A new bag,” Sam sneered. “And now she suddenly has a shift at the hospital.”

Jesse covered his mouth. “You don’t think…”

“After you left, she got really antsy and called the daycare,” Sam continued. “She’s paying some crazy fee for emergency services, but she was in a good mood getting ready to go. She got into her nicest scrubs, did her hair, and flew out the door around 4:30.”

Jesse checked the time. It was a quarter after 8. “Why would she spend a bunch of money on daycare for an extra shift at work?”

Sam smiled faintly. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Jesse’s heart fell. He had a bad feeling Monica was dating someone. Possibly someone at work.

Monica never stopped dating, no matter how much she inconvenienced her kids. Jesse suspected she’d developed a complex over the years because whenever she was in a relationship, she was flighty, irresponsible, and put her boyfriends before her kids in a desperate attempt to keep them around. It never worked, but Monica was always crushed just the same and uprooted everyone in her attempt to find some peace of mind.

“Fuck,” Jesse muttered under his breath.

Sam leaned back luxuriously in the armchair. “I guess we won’t have to stay in this hellhole much longer after all.”

“You don’t know that,” Jesse whispered, but inside, he was terrified. What if Monica moved them again…

Sam shrugged and closed his eyes. “It’s just a theory.”

Jesse swallowed nervously. “I’m going to get the twins in the bath.”

Sam yawned dramatically. “Alright.”

“You should get a shower, too,” Jesse muttered. “Before mom comes home and smells your clothes.”

“She’ll just think it was you,” Sam said as he stretched his legs out. “I’m going to fall asleep right here in this chair,” he laughed, stroking the armrests with relish. “I’ve never realized how absurdly comfortable it is.”

Jesse shook his head and turned away to get the twins ready for bed. It was early yet, but he wanted to get Tyler out of that stained shirt.

Jesse bathed the twins and put them in jammies. He told them it was quiet time again and shut the twins in their room with their Nintendo’s.

Downstairs, Sam was asleep in the armchair, and his head lolled sharply to the right while he snoozed. Jesse laughed at him as he turned off the TV and put the pillows back in their rightful places on the couch. Sam’s neck was going to be crimped in the morning, but he’d said he wanted to sleep in the chair… Jesse smiled at him affectionately as he stepped through to the kitchen and locked the back door. He turned off the lights and went upstairs.

Jesse sent Monica another text, letting her know Sam and the twins had showed up, then he put his phone on the charger, and went to the bathroom for a quick shower. He pulled some PJs on, then, with a sigh, he went to check on the twins.

“I’m going to watch TV in my room,” Jesse said when he poked his head into the kids’ room. Allison and Tyler were on Tyler’s bed, button mashing their individual game consoles. “You guys okay?”

“Yeah,” Tyler said. “Go away. We’re busy.”

Allison didn’t even look up from the game.

Jesse shook his head as he left the room. He’d put them to bed in another hour. They were obviously very busy.

He checked his phone when he got back to his room, but Monica had yet to reply. He climbed up to his bunk and turned on the little TV across the room with a sigh. He watched Paranormal Witness for an hour, then went about the arduous task of putting the twin terrors to bed.

“Lights out,” Jesse said, walking to the door and flicking them out to emphasize his point. “Under the covers. And no talking,” he said as he looked from twin to twin. Both children had their Nintendo’s under the covers, but as long as they stayed in bed, Jesse was fine with it. They’d pass out soon enough. “Goodnight, brats.”

“Night,” Allison muttered, rolling onto her side.

Tyler muttered unhappily, but Jesse firmly shut the door before he could voice another complaint.

Jesse stayed up until midnight. He was expecting Monica to show up with the babies but fell asleep before it happened. He slept soundlessly until morning.

“…Captain Crunch!” Tyler yelled at the top of his lungs.

“The box is empty,” Allison simpered. “Lucky Charms is the only thing left.”

Jesse cringed at the sound of cereal pinging across the kitchen linoleum and he sat up and looked around in a daze.

The sun outside crept lazily into the sky. It lit the cluttered bedroom in a hazy light. Sam had never made it upstairs. The lower bunk was empty.

Jesse peered at the time on the satellite box. 6:30 AM. He had an hour to get ready. He threw the blankets off and climbed out of bed.

He checked the nursery before he went downstairs but Brian’s bed was untouched. Lissa’s baby blanket was folded neatly over the edge of her crib and he spun around in a confusion and flew downstairs.

Sam was fast asleep in the armchair and Jesse went to him first.

“Wake up!” Jesse kicked his foot. “The bus will be here in an hour.”

Sam sat up with a jolt and clutched his neck. “Ahh!” His face screwed up dramatically. “My neck is killing me!”

Jesse snorted with amusement. “You wanted to sleep in the armchair.”

“What?” Sam sat up drowsily. “What am I doing in the living room?”

“You got high last night with Kyle.” Jesse planted his hands on his hips. “Get ready for school. You’re not skipping because you got stoned.”

Sam flushed with embarrassment. “I barely had two hits.”

Jesse nodded toward the stairs. “Get a shower. You reek.”

Sam got up and shoved past with a huff. “You reek,” he muttered under his breath.

Jesse watched him go with narrowed eyes, but when he heard spoons clinking on bowls he hurried into the kitchen to assess the damage.

Tyler and Allison were guiltily eating Lucky Charms at the table. The rest of the box was on the floor. The tiny bits of cereal were all over the place.

Jesse held his hands out. “What happened?”

“Tyler punched the box because he wanted Captain Crunch,” Allison said casually.

“Sorry.” Tyler lowered his head.

Jesse shut his eyes. “Where’s mom?”

“Still sleeping,” Tyler mumbled. “She said she needed more sleep.”

Jesse raised an eyebrow. “Where is Brian? And Lissa?”

Allison shrugged and Jesse swept out of the room.

The shower was running in the bathroom. Sam. Jesse stalked past and shouldered his way into the master at the end of the hall.

Monica was sprawled face down on her bed in a pair of heels and a slinky dress Jesse had never seen before. She was snoring soundly, and Jesse stood over her for a moment, shaking his head.

“Mom.”

Monica threw an arm over her face.

“Mom.”

“What?” Monica muttered. She rolled onto her side and blinked at Jesse through her tangled red hair. “What do you need?”

“Where’s Brian?”

“I left him at overnight daycare,” Monica grumbled as she brushed the hair out of her face. Her eyes were bloodshot. “He’s fine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out?” Jesse bristled. “I would have babysat the kids if I’d known beforehand!”

“I did tell you,” Monica said as she lazily propped herself upright on her elbow. She clutched her head. “Through text,” she cringed.

“I meant before that,” Jesse narrowed his eyes. Monica was hammered. “Like, when I was at the house this afternoon for three hours!”

Monica withered at the sound of Jesse’s voice. “Keep it down, will you.”

“You didn’t tell me through text either!” Jesse raged, balling his hands into trembling fists at his sides. “All I got was some half-assed reply that had me sit up until midnight waiting for you!”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” Monica glared at him. “I got a text from a co-worker and picked up a shift. It wasn’t planned.”

Jesse laughed. “You worked a shift in that?”

Monica looked down at her dress in surprise. “We went out for some drinks after our shift,” she said vaguely. “It’s not a big deal, Jesse.”

“Yeah, but…”

“I did a full shift yesterday,” Monica spat. “Everybody in this house needs and needs and wants and wants.” She laid back down with a huff. “I have to keep up with you kids and your exorbitant demands or I’ll be swimming with the sharks before too long.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “What demands? Like clothes?”

“Yes,” Monica hissed. “If you saw my checkbook, you’d probably start to cry.”

“I’m sure emergency babysitting fees will be a great addition to the budget,” Jesse joked.

“I need another hour of sleep,” Monica said huffily. “I work tonight. Like usual. I’ve got to be rested for my shift.”

Jesse watched as his mother kicked off her shoes and pulled the blankets up to her chin. She’d been on a date last night and she was trying to hide it. That usually meant she really liked the guy and didn’t want any intervention.

“All of you know how to get on the bus. Don’t you?” she snapped from under the covers and Jesse jumped about a foot. “Let me sleep.”

“Brian’s going to be traumatized,” Jesse said as he backed out of the room. “He’s so afraid he’ll get abandoned at daycare and you left him there overnight.”

Monica pulled the covers down with a growl. “One more hour, Jesse!”

Jesse left the room and slammed the door behind him. He didn’t care about his mom and her sleep schedule. He went downstairs and angrily cleaned up the cereal in the kitchen.

“Go upstairs,” Jesse said when he caught the twins gawking at him. “Get dressed and pack your bags for the day.”

“What about lunch?”

“I’ll pack PB&J’s,” Jesse said as he finished sweeping up the cereal and stood with the dustpan. He dumped everything in the trash then turned back to the twins. “Do I have to ask you twice. Go!”

Tyler and Allison leapt from their chairs and scurried out of the room. Jesse sighed and went to make some lunches on the counter.

He got dressed, packed his bag, then double-checked each of the twins’. His bus would arrive any minute now and he turned the TV on, found a kiddie channel, and instructed the twins to sit quietly until the elementary bus arrived in an hour.

Sam bounced downstairs, fresh and ready to go as Jesse talked to the twins. “Mom’s puking in the bathroom,” he snickered. “It’s a horror show.”

Jesse looked up with wide eyes. “Maybe I should stay home…”

“Bullshit.” Sam grabbed the sleeve of Jesse’s t-shirt and yanked him around the couch. “You don’t get to skip because mom got wasted last night.”

Jesse looked after the twins. “But the kids…”

“Mom’s awake.” Sam grabbed Jesse’s bag by the door and shoved it into his arms. “She’ll finish puking in a couple minutes and come down for a cup of coffee. You know her.”

Jesse sighed as he shouldered his bag. He smiled miserably at the two kids on the couch. “Bye guys. See you later.”

“Bye, tards,” Sam called as he opened the door and tugged Jesse outside. The twins blinked owlishly after them.

“Mom said she went out with her coworkers,” Jesse muttered as they started down the drive.

“Yeah.” Sam sucked his teeth. “Looks like she partied pretty hard.”

Jesse nodded sadly. “Poor Brian. He’s got to be so upset right now.”

“At least he’s safe.” Sam shrugged. “Nothing bad will happen to him at daycare.”

Jesse sighed dramatically. He wished he could save Brian the same heartache he’d been through, but he was going through it just the same. So was Sam…

They stopped at the end of the drive and Sam took out his phone. Jesse watched him suspiciously as he began to type.

“Talking to Kyle?”

“A little,” Sam said casually. “But he isn’t very active until school starts.”

“I can’t believe you,” Jesse grumbled under his breath. “You did exactly what I asked you not to do.”

“You don’t follow the rules,” Sam bitched as the bus appeared down the road. “I’m just following your example.”

Jesse looked over his shoulder as the bus rumbled closer. For the first time ever, he was annoyed to see it arrive. “I’m trying to protect you,” he said adamantly. “Sam, please, you have to see it from my point of view.”

“You’re being a hypocrite,” Sam snapped, lowering his phone. “If you wanted to protect me, you’d take me under your wing. You’d show me how to do things the right way.”

Jesse gaped at him. “What… Did Kyle say that?”

“Kyle’s going to take me under his wing.” Sam beamed. “He isn’t going to exclude me like you do. He’s going to teach me everything he knows.”

Jesse’s eyes went wide. “Teach you?”

“I’m not an annoyance to Kyle.” Sam’s cheeks got pink. “He thinks I’m cool, Jesse. I’m not going to stop hanging out with him no matter what you say.”

The bus stopped in front of the house as Jesse blinked helplessly at his little brother.

“Your just jealous,” Sam said with a smile. “Because I get to hang out with the only drug dealer in town and your stuck with that weirdo and his guitar.”

Jesse stared after Sam in total shock as the teen strode confidently across the road and climbed on the bus. The driver tooted the horn at him, and Jesse jolted into action. He rounded the bus and got on in a tizzy.

“Doing okay there?” the driver asked kindly.

“I’ve gotta sit down,” Jesse said as he staggered down the aisle, past Sam who had his head in his phone, like always. He found a seat in the back, Shaun’s usual seat, and he waited nervously for him to get on.

The bus rumbled down the road then slowed to a stop in front of Shaun’s house.

Jesse’s heartbeat quickened when Shaun stepped grouchily on the bus. He shook with excitement as he stalked down the aisle.

“Hey.” Shaun slid into the seat and Jesse threw himself into his arms. “Oof. What the hell?”

Jesse kissed Shaun passionately as the bus began to move again.

Shaun tore his mouth away. “Jesse!”

Jesse buried his nose in Shaun’s clean smelling hair instead, unwilling to give up the closeness just yet. He breathed in Shaun’s scent and smiled. You smell really good,” he whispered against his throat. “Like peaches.”

“You can’t kiss me like that.” Shaun’s body stiffened and he pushed Jesse away with a huff. “And you can’t hang off me either. Not where other people can see.”

“I know.” Jesse pouted. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. At least nobody but my brother and the driver saw.”

Shaun flexed his right hand experimentally as the bus bumped along. He grimaced as he twitched his fingers, but the swelling had gone down, and the range of motion had improved.

“How’s your hand?” Jesse asked. “Does it hurt much?”

“Yeah. But I’ll live,” Shaun muttered. “And I’ll probably be able to struggle my way through the setlist on Tuesday. If I get drunk beforehand.”

Jesse laughed as the bus stopped again and the middle school girls got on. They went straight for Sam and sat in the seat in front of him, then turned, grins plastered to their innocent faces as Sam called out a greeting.

Jesse’s smile fell away, and he pressed his lips into a thin, disapproving line as he watched his brother exchange casual pleasantries with the girls. Sam was turning into his mini clone…

“What’s that look for?” Shaun grumbled.

Jesse shook his head. “I don’t know if I should tell you.”

“Then you definitely should,” Shaun said through his teeth.

“There was a bunch of drama happening at my place last night,” Jesse said quickly. “After I left your house, I went home and there was nobody there.”

“Sounds like drama central,” Shaun chuckled.

“There wasn’t a note, and I didn’t know where anyone was,” Jesse pouted. “I called Sam and nothing. I texted my mom and she said she was at work and too busy to talk.”

“Does she work on the weekends?” Shaun asked curiously.

“No,” Jesse hissed as Kenny and Emily got on the bus. They sat in the middle, avoiding Jesse’s new seat up front and Shaun’s regular haunt in the back. “That’s the weird thing. This imaginary shift came out of nowhere and I guess she was so amped, she rounded up the kids, and dropped them off at overnight daycare.”

“Wow.” Shaun raised an eyebrow. “You can do that?”

“If you’ve got the money,” Jesse said grumpily. “But according to her, that’s why she was taking the shift, to make money. So she paid for an expensive babysitting service to make it possible.”

“That seems counterproductive.”

“Exactly.” Jesse twisted the strap of his bag around his fingers as he mulled through his thoughts. In the brief silence, he looked up and caught Emily sneaking a peak at him. Their eyes met and slowly, Emily lifted her chin.

“Who cares what your mom does or why she does it,” Shaun said in a deep, authoritative voice. “You won’t have to live with her forever you know. Soon enough, we’ll be able to find a place of our own and move out.”

Jesse chewed his lip as Emily turned away. He didn’t know what to make of the look… “Mom had a hangover this morning,” he said in a soft voice.

“What?” Shaun snorted with amusement.

“The twins woke me up when they spilled cereal all over the kitchen,” Jesse muttered as he turned his gaze out the window. They were almost at the school. There was only one more stop. “Mom was face down in bed and wouldn’t get up to help. She was in some dress from the night before and whined about needing another hour of sleep,” he continued. “But I think she was throwing up in the bathroom when I got on the bus.”

“Christ.”

“Sam and I talked about it a little,” Jesse said with a sigh, his gaze drifting back up front to his brother again. Sam seemed to be getting along with both girls nicely. They smiled and laughed at everything he said. “I guess mom dragged everyone around the mall the other day clothes shopping,” he said. “I think she was getting some new outfits together.”

“So?”

“She’s really been on my case about the babysitting, too,” Jesse said. “You saw her the other night.”

“Yeah?”

“So, I think my mom’s seeing someone,” Jesse said adamantly. “I think she has a boyfriend.”

“That seems like a pretty far leap,” Shaun grunted, unimpressed.

“Her mind’s elsewhere,” Jesse said in a rush. “She always gets like this before she springs a new guy on us.”

Shaun sighed deeply. “I don’t know, Jesse.”

“If you were annoyed with how much I was babysitting before, then just wait until mom’s seeing this guy all the time and I never get the night off!” Jesse said darkly.

Shaun tipped his head back and laughed. “Your so goddamn dramatic.”

“How the fuck am I being dramatic?” Jesse furrowed his brow. “This is bad, Shaun. Nine times out of ten, my family moves because my mom broke up with some guy she loved and thought for sure she was going to marry.”

Shaun shrugged. “Did you even ask why your mom was in a dress?”

“She said she went out with her coworkers after her shift,” Jesse said evasively. “But she’s been known to tell outright lies to get away with stuff. This could be another lie.”

“I think you’re reading into shit,” Shaun said firmly. “She went out with her friends. Stop making it so complicated, Jesse.”

“Fine!” Jesse threw up his hands. “I guess I’m just making things up.”

Shaun leaned into the aisle in a subconscious effort to escape.

“Do you want to know what else happened last night?” Jesse asked. “I might as well tell you.”

Shaun sat back and looked at Jesse with narrowed eyes. “Surprise me.”

“Kyle took Sam and the twins out for ice cream!”

Shaun’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. “What the fuck…why?”

“Because he and Sam are friends on Instagram now!” Jesse said exuberantly. “Isn’t that cute? Sam says they’ve been talking in secret for a couple days, too, after I specifically asked Kyle to stay away from him.”

Shaun’s dark hair fell into his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I asked Sam to stay away from Kyle first, but I knew that wasn’t going to work,” Jesse said miserably. “I fucked up. I introduced them the other day when I was buying some weed.”

Shaun rolled his eyes. “You introduced them?”

“I know,” Jesse said, pulling an anguished face. “And when I asked Kyle to respect my wishes and to steer clear of my brother…well, look what happened.”

“Fucked up.”

Jesse nodded. “I guess they went to some putt-putt course last night. They had an ice cream parlor, too. Kyle really pulled out all the stops.”

“Sounds like a place for creepers,” Shaun grimaced.

“Sam said he and Kyle baked out the car while the kids played golf.” Jesse licked his lips. “And I believe him. Sam was high as a kite when he came home last night.”

“Kyle’s a pervert.” Shaun’s face was turning red. “He couldn’t get his hands on either of us, so now he’s set his sights on your little brother.”

Jesse sighed as they pulled up outside the school and the high schoolers started to get off. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t think my mom’s going to care.”

“I’m going to talk to that fuck.” Shaun gripped the back of the seat and the frame creaked under his fingers. “Now.”

“Wait…what?”

Shaun leapt from the seat and stalked down the aisle with his bag swinging behind him. As he swept past, his bag thumped into the back of one of the middle school girls.

“Ouch!” she yelped. “That actually hurt.”

Sam fought his way into the aisle as Shaun neared the front. “Faggot!” he yelled after him and everybody froze.

There were ten people on the bus, including the driver, and all of them looked in Shaun’s direction as he slowed to a stop and turned his head to meet Sam’s gaze. His eyes burned with an unspeakable fury and Sam stepped back in fear and grabbed the nearest seat with a trembling hand. Jesse got up silently in case he had to intervene.

“Sit down, kid,” Shaun said in a deep, dangerous voice. “Jesse wouldn’t like it if I hurt you.”

Sam, his face beet-red, slumped heavily into his seat.

“Good boy.” Shaun smirked. Then he whirled away and stormed off the bus.

Out the window, Jesse saw Shaun striding toward the school, and he flew down the aisle and jumped off the bus. He ran after Shaun as fast as his legs would carry him, but Shaun didn’t want to be caught. He shoved some unfortunate students on his way inside and disappeared.

Jesse felt like he was moving in slow motion as he reached the doors and tripped into the front hall. He lurched forward, but he didn’t know which way Shaun had gone. People looked at Jesse, but he didn’t meet anyone’s gaze as he searched through a sea of faces for Shaun’s.

High-pitched screams came from down the hall, closer to the English room, and Jesse bolted for them with his heart in his throat. A flurry of activity erupted along the lockers and people stopped and turned their heads as Jesse squeezed through a throng of gawking freshman and stopped dead in his tracks.

Shaun had Kyle pinned to a locker with his hand around his throat. The blond’s eyes popped out of his head and he made terrible gagging sounds as he struggled to breathe.

A pair of senior girls stood at Shaun’s side, begging him to let Kyle go.

“What the hell?!” squealed the brunette. “Leave him alone!”

“I’m getting a teacher,” the other one said, a girl with long braids, as she rushed around the brunette.

Jesse snapped back to reality as he watched the girl wiggle through the crowd of students. He swung his gaze back to the lockers as Shaun lifted Kyle off the floor.

“Oh my god! Stop!” the brunette threw herself at Shaun and beat him on the back with her little hands, but Shaun was unaffected. He began to smile as Kyle’s feet flailed in the air and his face rapidly turned red. Shaun’s eyes flashed with excitement.

“Shaun!” Jesse yelled. “Put him down!”

Shaun glanced at him from the corner of his eye. His hand flexed around Kyle’s throat, then he released him with a sigh.

The blond fell to his knees, coughing and rubbing his abused neck with both hands.

Shaun’s eyes glittered with emotion. “Stay away from Jesse’s little siblings, you pervert.”

Kyle blinked up at him tearfully. “W-what—?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, faggot,” Shaun snapped. Then he spun away and pushed deeper into the crowd, heading toward his locker in the south hall.

Kyle’s girlfriend and some other seniors clustered around him. Jesse sprinted after Shaun as Kyle was helped to his feet.

“You’re going to get in so much trouble!” Jesse hissed when he caught up. “What were you thinking?!” He grabbed the back of Shaun’s shirt to stop him, but Shaun tore away with a yell.

“Get off!”

Jesse pulled back and Shaun stormed around the corner. Jesse waited a beat, then started after him. He couldn’t let it go.

Shaun’s locker was near the cafeteria and the history room. Students with first period history milled aimlessly in the hall while others ducked into the cafeteria for morning snacks.

Shaun stood at his locker; his face twisted into a scowl, tossing some random book inside as Jesse cautiously approached.

“I just wish you hadn’t made a scene like that,” Jesse muttered. “I think that senior girl told on you.”

Shaun snorted as he tore a notebook from the bottom of the stack. “I don’t give a shit.”

Jesse worried his lip.

Shaun grabbed another book, then shoved it into his bag with the notebook. He slammed his locker shut and turned to face Jesse, a vein pounding in his temple. “I had a legitimate reason for what I did, Jesse.” He aggressively zipped the bag shut and slung it over his shoulder as he continued. “Kyle can act innocent all he wants, but you and I both know that he’s a sick fuck!”

A small group of sophomores walked past, sneaking glances at Shaun and Jesse as they filed into the cafeteria, and Jesse slid his fingers through his hair. “You practically assaulted him. In front of like…half the school. You can’t do that, Shaun!”

Shaun’s jaw ticked. “I’m going to class.” He spun away and stalked back down the hall for the English room and Jesse watched him go with a sense of resignation.

He decided not to bother with his locker that morning and went straight to math. He had his Chemistry notebook if he needed to write anything down.

Jordan gave him a curious look when he came to class. “What the hell happened with Shaun and Kyle this morning?” he asked as Jesse fell into his seat.

Jesse glared at him as he pulled out a sheet of paper. “Oh, you’re talking to me now?”

Jorden smirked. “Love triangle?”

“No.” Jesse’s face turned red. He pulled his bag open and searched frantically for a pen.

“What then?” Jorden curled his lip. “Drugs?”

“Drugs were involved, unfortunately.” Jesse found a pen and straightened. “And my little thirteen-year-old brother, too.”

Jorden cringed. “My brother’s eleven. He copies everything I do.”

“Same here,” Jesse said, tapping his pen as he considered how much to say. “My brother’s friends with Kyle now and they’re smoking. I…don’t know how I feel about it.”

“Tough place to be in,” Jordan said as the teacher stepped into the room. He opened his book with a smile. “I certainly don’t envy you.”

“Yeah,” Jesse sighed. “Thanks.”

Jorden turned back to his desk as class began. They didn’t speak again, but Jesse was hopeful that his shunning had finally ended.

When class ended, Jesse packed up quickly. He was anxious to see Shaun and he scurried out of the room before anyone else. As he darted down the hall for the science wing on the other side of the building everybody was looking at him. He felt like an attraction. Some of the glances were still hostile and Jesse was discomforted by the stares. He reached the chemistry room and ducked hurriedly inside. The room was nearly empty, and he found his seat in the back and took out his notes as his stomach twisted into knots. For all he knew, Shaun wouldn’t even show up…

But, moments later, he arrived in the steady stream of on-coming students. His hair was pushed back hazardously, and his expression was pinched, but Jesse was over the moon to see him, whether or not he came with a smile.

“How’d English go?” he asked as Shaun took the seat beside him.

Shaun smiled slowly. “Miss Stevens loved my poem.”

“Really?” Jesse perked up with interest. “You actually turned it in? I haven’t missed class once and I almost forgot,” he laughed. “I wrote mine in an hour. You should have seen it. It was terrible.”

“I wrote mine weeks ago,” Shaun said as he pulled out his textbook. “And Stevens loves my writing. She always has.”

“Wow, that’s…” Jesse blinked, totally surprised by the announcement. Then he beamed. “See! I told you!”

“Keep it down,” Shaun hissed from the side of his mouth, then turned, his eyes glittering with disapproval. “What did you tell me?”

“That you should start your own band!” Jesse mused. He’d lowered his voice, but he was still enthused. “And if you like writing poems—”

“Who said I like writing poems?” Shaun sneered.

“Song’s is what I meant,” Jesse said quickly. “You’re already an amazing guitarist. If you can write some songs and practice your singing—”

“A one-man-band!” Shaun hissed as his hands balled into fists on his thighs. “How cute!”

“Obviously, you’ll need a drummer.” Jesse rolled his eyes. “And Ben’ll will play bass. You won’t be by yourself.”

Shaun crossed his arms. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Jesse sighed and opened his notebook. The silence stretched as he drew a series of stars in the margin.

“I got called to the office at the end of first period,” Shaun said casually. “They wanted to talk about what happened.”

Jesse dropped his pen. “Are you in trouble?”

“No.” Shaun’s eyes flashed with annoyance. “I told them Kyle was messing with your little brother. I admitted I lost my temper and that it wouldn’t happen again.” His lip curled up at the corner. “On school property, at least.”

Jesse sighed.

“The principal said Kyle went home,” Shaun muttered. “We won’t see him again today.”

“That’s good. Right?”

Shaun shrugged. “If he’s too big a pussy to make it through the day then I’m glad he left.”

“I guess you scared him off.”

“Guess so,” Shaun smiled wickedly. Mr. Barnes strolled into the room and the evil smile fell away as Shaun opened his textbook to a random page.

Jesse took out his textbook as well and found the chapter they were currently studying. He flipped to a fresh page in his notebook and got out a pencil.

“By the way, I need your help with that makeup homework,” Shaun said under his breath.

Jesse smiled faintly. “Bring it to my house after school. We can work on it before Brian gets home.”

Shaun nodded.

“Brian’s going to be upset tonight,” Jesse said in a soft voice and Shaun looked at him curiously. “He’s been doing so good in daycare lately, but he’s had a hard time in the past with abandonment issues.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s been to a couple different places already and not all of them were good places,” Jesse said evasively.

Shaun frowned.

“He was at daycare all night. I’m sure he’s there now, too,” Jesse whispered as Mr. Barnes cleaned off the board and began to write. “He hates staying overnight. He thinks he’s being punished. He doesn’t understand that it’s for his safety.” Jesse hung his head. “I just wish I could give him a better life. I wish I could make him happy.”

“That’s not your responsibility, Jesse,” Shaun said sharply. “You’re mother’s a piece of trash. None of this bullshit’s your fault.”

Jesse felt next to no comfort from Shaun’s words, but he nodded once, dejectedly.

Shaun huffed. “Just…concentrate on finishing school. If that’s what you want to do, but I’m done with this place after summer,” he said adamantly. “I’m desperate to get out of my grandparents’ house. I need to put some money aside for a place.” His hand fell heavily on Jesse’s, totally nonchalant, and Jesse’s eyes fell on Shaun’s hand as his large fingers laced through his smaller ones. “Try not to worry so much about everybody else.” He stroked Jesse’s hand warmly. “You’re not responsible for everything.”

“I am responsible for everything,” Jesse murmured. “And I have to worry about Brian.” He shook him off and glumly turned back to his notes. “I’m the only one who does.”

“Whatever.” Shaun scoffed, turning back to his book. Lecture began as he flipped through the pages and looked boredly through the pictures.

Jesse fudged his way through the material, but he couldn’t stop worrying.

Shaun didn’t understand the responsibility he had for his siblings, and for Brian, specifically. Jesse didn’t know how he was going to explain but he’d have to if the relationship continued. There was no way he was leaving Brian behind to rot. The toddler had to come with Jesse on the next journey of his life.

When class ended, Jesse and Shaun walked together to history class. People were gawking at them now. They were more than an attraction. They were a side-show and more than one student rubbernecked to get a look.

“Jesus fuck,” Shaun growled as they neared history. “Everyone’s staring at us.”

“I wonder why?” Jesse jeered.

“It had to be done,” Shaun said darkly. “Kyle doesn’t respond to threats. You have to grab him by the neck.” He aggressively made a fist.

Jesse shook his head. “You’re being psychotic.”

“I’m sick of being pushed around.”

Jesse watched Shaun with wide eyes as they entered the history room. “Shaun?”

“I’ll see you in lunch,” Shaun said darkly, then he swept across the room to sit in his seat at the front. Jesse gazed at him longingly as he glided down the aisle, but he was silent and obediently took his seat behind Emily. He tried his best to concentrate when class began, but it was difficult. People glanced at him throughout class. More than a couple people turned in their seats to do it.

At the end of class, Shaun gathered his things in his arms and stormed out of the room without pause. Jesse let him go. There was no use chasing him, their next classes were on opposite ends of hall.

On the way to English and in the classroom, the stares refused to stop. They intensified if that was possible and there was a wide range of expressions to go with them. Confusion and disgust came up repeatedly and Jesse shrank into his seat as Miss Stevens selected a reading for the class. The looks continued throughout lecture and at once point, Jesse caught Emily glaring at him, her eyes flashing with anger and Jesse’s breath caught in his throat. He didn’t breathe again until Emily broke the stare and turned back to the front of the room.

Something was wrong…

At the end of class, Miss Stevens passed back their term assignments. “I liked your poem, Jesse,” she said when she stopped at Jesse’s desk. “It could use a little revision, but I’m grading the effort.”

Jesse glanced at his assignment. He’d gotten a B. “Oh. Thank you.”

The students around them were being rowdy. They packed up noisily and talked amongst themselves as they waited for their papers.

Miss Stevens gave Jesse a lingering look. She still had a stack to hand back, but she leaned her hip against his desk and smiled. “And how are you doing today, Jesse?”

“Umm…” Jesse tucked his poem away. “Much better, thanks.”

“Did you get everything ironed out with your love life?”

“I-I’m working on it.”

“Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be perfectly straight,” Miss Stevens said, her smile turning wry. “As long as you’re in a relationship your comfortable with. That’s what matters.”

Jesse’s face turned bright red. “What?”

Miss Stevens turned away with a wink.

When the bell rang, Jesse rushed out of the room. He could feel eyes on him, judging him, and he didn’t know why, but he had a pretty good idea and the second the thought entered his head, his blood turned cold.

Fucking Kyle!

Jesse flew into the cafeteria as a hundred set of eyes fell upon him. Shaun sat in their usual place with his hands balled into fists on the table in front of him. He wasn’t eating anything, and Jesse took that as a very bad sign.

“Hi,” he squeaked as he sat in the chair beside Shaun’s rigid form. “Don’t you want a lunch?”

“You told him about us,” Shaun muttered. “Didn’t you?”

Jesse’s heart stopped beating. “Uhh…”

“You told Kyle,” Shaun said in a deep voice. “And now everybody knows our business.”

“I-I only told him about that first kiss,” Jesse whispered, and Shaun turned his dark eyes on him with a vengeance and his gaze was severe and unyielding. “I thought maybe I could trust him, but I knew immediately I’d made a mistake and I didn’t say anymore.”

“You think!” Shaun barked. “So, he knows we’re together?”

Jesse pushed his fingers into his eyes. “I’m sure he’s connected the dots by now.”

“Fucking great!” Shaun raged. He was careful to keep his voice low, but the table trembled under his fists. “He was storing that one up for a rainy day…I guess, today,” he hissed. “He doesn’t even have to be here to start rumors! Motherfucker!”

Jesse could feel the stares from the popular table burning into his back. He ducked his head with a groan. “Shaun…I’m sorry…”

“Everyone’s staring at me,” Shaun growled under his breath. “They’re turning their fucking noses up at me!”

“Shaun…” Jesse looked up with wide, desperate eyes. “I’m really really sorry.”

“Don’t look at me like that! You ruined everything with your goddamn mouth! Just like I thought you would.” Shaun shook his head in disgust. “Now I get to be a laughingstock until class lets out. Great job, Jesse!”

As they sat at their table, not eating, a pair of girls from their grade strolled past with their trash. One of the girls whispered into the other’s ear and both of them started to laugh.

“This is so fucked up!” Shaun hissed and Jesse shrunk into himself with humiliation and shame. He sat with his head down until lunch ended and the masses moved toward the door.

“We should skip the rest of the day,” Shaun said bitterly. “This is a waste of time.”

“You only have one more class,” Jesse said. “Just stick it out with me. Please.”

Shaun huffed and shrugged on his backpack. “I don’t even know why I’m listening to you.” He got up huffily and started for the doors. Jesse gathered his things in a panic and stumbled to keep up.

When they reached the locker room, they dressed out in the back corner. Shaun had been silent since leaving the cafeteria and his broad shoulders were stiff as he tugged his hoodie over his head with twice the force he would normally apply.

Kenny and Eric strode into the room, talking in low voices. Both of them looked in Jesse’s and Shaun’s direction as they headed to their lockers. Eric smiled at them nastily, but Kenny’s face was expressionless as he stopped in front of his locker and whipped his T-shirt over his head. He flexed the powerful muscles in his chest as he set his gym bag on the bench beside him and reached inside for a clean tee. His eyes narrowed dangerously when he looked up and met Jesse’s eyes.

Jesse dropped his head, so his hair hid his face and pulled his gym shorts on as fast as he could. He tried not to look up again as he stepped into his worn tennis shoes and tied them hurriedly. Shaun wasn’t cooperating though. He blossomed under the adversity. He almost seemed to get a sick pleasure out of it. He kicked his boots off at a leisurely pace as he stared unreservedly at Kenny and Eric.

“Stop it,” Jesse hissed under his breath. “You’re antagonizing them.” He was finished, but he didn’t want to leave Shaun in the locker room by himself. There was no telling what would happen if he did.

“Fuck you,” Shaun growled as he tossed his boots into his locker and banged the door shut. He dropped his grungy tennis shoes on the floor and shoved his feet inside, stamping on the backs until his heels slid inside. “Finished,” he grumbled, then gestured dramatically for Jesse to take the lead.

Jesse turned and strode past the other boys changing into T-shirts and sweats, past Kenny and Eric, who stopped what they were doing to watch them go, and finally they passed out of the locker room and into the gym.

Today, they were playing basketball on the inside courts. Shaun and Jesse were on separate teams, no surprise and Jesse was placed on Kenny’s team, along with the girl from the other day, Beth, another girl he didn’t know, and the boy from math, Peter. Shaun was on Eric’s team with two other guys and a girl.

The two teams lined up mid court. Jesse watched anxiously as Shaun and Kenny sized each other up. He hoped both he and Shaun would make it through the game without a fight…

The coach blew his whistle, and the game began.

Kenny was on Shaun’s ass the second the ball came into play and Eric stuck to Jesse like glue. This game had been planned.

Jesse was pretty good at basketball, but Kenny and Eric were actively working against him. He jogged up and down the court, trying to shake the massive jock, but Eric shadowed his every step. Anytime Peter or one of the girls tried to pass him the ball, Eric stole it away. The one-time Jesse caught a rebound, Eric slapped it violently out of his hands and loped down the court with it. He made a wicked slam dunk.

“That’s how it’s done!” Eric crowed with laughter.

“Nice.” Kenny held up a hand and they gave each other skin.

Jesse rolled his eyes. He refused to be impressed.

Eric was destroying their team and Kenny seemed to be getting a sick rise out of it. He taunted the rest of the team for their ineptitude as they rapidly fell behind in points. Kenny laughed when Beth missed a shot and Eric flew out of nowhere and stole the ball. He laughed when Jesse got a foul and had to surrender the ball. He laughed when Peter fumbled a pass. He laughed every time Eric got a basket and as the game wore on, he and the other boy started high fiving every time it happened.

When Kenny got possession of the ball, he ran down the court freely with it. Shaun was supposedly blocking him, but he trailed far behind, he wasn’t trying. As Kenny advanced on the basket, Eric darted out from behind Jesse and tore across the court to meet his friend head on. Kenny stopped dead in his tracks, a couple yards from the basket, and dribbled the ball, grinning at Eric as the jock danced between him and the net.

“Jesse!” Kenny snapped and Jesse’s heart leapt into his throat. “Get over here!”

Jesse lurched into action and rushed to assist his teammate.

“You’ve been totally worthless this whole game,” Kenny sneered as Jesse stumbled to get into an open spot. Eric got between them every time. “Why don’t you actually catch the ball.” Kenny saw an opening and launched the ball at him.

Jesse dove to catch it, but Eric’s arms were longer. He snatched the ball out of the air and shoved past Jesse on his way to the opposite side of the court.

Jesse spun and watched Eric make a basket.

“Cocksucker.”

“Oof.” Jesse tripped forward as Kenny drove his fist into his lower back. He nearly fell, but he caught himself and looked up, pained, as Kenny jogged off in the opposite direction.

Across the court, Shaun was frozen. His eyes were full of activity though and when Jesse met his gaze, it teemed with anger.

It was obvious. People knew…Kenny knew…that Jesse liked guys and that he and Shaun were a couple.

Jesse hung back after that. He tried his best to keep out of Kenny’s way. He did everything in his power to avoid the ball. He couldn’t avoid Eric though. Every time Jesse’s team got the ball, Eric stalked him around the court. Jesse kept in constant motion to stay out of his reach, but as the game wore on, Eric became more aggressive. He kept getting into Jesse’s face and pushing him around.

At one point, Jesse was in perfect line with the basket. Beth was just out of reach though, and blocked by one of the other boys on Eric’s team. “Jesse?” she held up the ball and Jesse grudgingly prepared to catch it as Eric hovered just an arm’s length away, waiting to snatch it.

As Beth threw the ball, Kenny swept in confidently and palmed it with ease. He smiled meanly. “I thought homos liked playing with balls. Are you even trying, Jesse?”

Eric laughed obnoxiously. The other two boys on his team laughed, as well, and even Peter couldn’t seem to help himself. He covered his mouth, at least, but he laughed all the same.

Shaun glared at Jesse darkly from the sidelines. There was a dark cloud of anger brewing over his head and Jesse knew he was in for it. Shaun was going to murder him tonight.

The game resumed, totally unchecked, as Kenny continued with his derogatory remarks. The coach was busy on the other court, blowing his whistle at a minor infraction from another team. So far, he’d been suspiciously absent for most of the game…

Jesse burned with embarrassment as Kenny and Eric ran circles around him. His peers continued to laugh while Shaun glared from the sidelines, watching the proceedings with deep furrows in his brow.

Jesse quickly got winded and sweat beaded along his brow. Gym was nearly over by this point, otherwise he would have given up and walked off the court. There was only ten minutes left and Jesse didn’t want to look like a pussy.

Jesse stayed in the game. He ran down the ball and followed at a distance, Eric breathing down his neck the whole way.

Beth had the ball again and she got stuck mid court with a guard. Jesse rushed into a better position and met her eyes and Beth passed it to him smoothly.

Jesse caught the ball and dribbled it down the court, keeping it close to his body as he went. Eric tripped all over himself to catch up.

“Let’s go, faggot! Maybe you’ll finally get it in the net this time!” Kenny yelled from behind in a booming voice and Jesse’s face burned as he approached the basket.

He was about to take a shot when Eric moved in and swept his legs out from under him. Jesse yelped and tumbled to the floor. He slid across the glossy hardwood as the ball bounced out of reach.

Kenny snickered and Jesse looked up wildly as the jock stopped over him with a smile. The game came to a halt as everyone on their side of the court stopped to watch the two boys.

“You look good down there, Jess. Kenny started to circle Jesse, sneering at him. “On your knees like a natural cocksucker.”

Shaun stepped in front of Jesse. “Back off!” he roared, shoving Kenny hard in the chest.

Kenny stumbled back. “Don’t touch me, freak.” He brushed off the front of his shirt with a sneer. The entire class was watching now. A palpable anticipation hung in the air. The coach surveyed the scene with interest from across the room, but it obvious he had no plans to stop the impending confrontation.

Shaun scowled at the jock. “Leave us the fuck alone and I won’t have to.”

Eric snorted. He came to stand beside his friend with his big arms crossed over his chest. “Look at that,” he said with a smirk. “Two little fags standing up for one another.”

“More like Shaun here is sticking up for his little girlfriend,” Kenny sneered. A round of tittering started up from the gathered students. “You know Jesse’s the bottom in that relationship because he’s the one who looks most like a girl.”

Shaun lurched unevenly. “Goddamn…fuckface!”

Kenny’s arms went up as his face contorted in fear, but the sound of the whistle stopped Shaun in his tracks. He dropped his hands and turned with a glower on his face as the coach jogged up.

“Alright, guys…break it up…” the coach was already out of breath. “Kenny…” He clasped the jock’s shoulder in a nonverbal ‘job well done’ and a very clear ‘fuck you’ to Shaun. “I saw him…push you.”

“Fuck this!” Shaun spun for the locker room and stormed off in a huff. Jesse didn’t meet anyone’s eyes as he stumbled after him.

“Jesse…”

Jesse turned and kept walking in reverse. “I’m done with basketball for today,” he said with a smile. “Us gay boys aren’t very good with sports anyway.”

There was a round of laughter as he ran after his boyfriend. The delirious thought made his heart swell. Boyfriend!!!

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Loud, metallic noises floated from the short hall to the locker room. Jesse crept down the hall, trying to decern the sounds when the metallic noise resumed.

Bang! Bang! Baaang!

“Fuuuuck!!!”

Jesse pulled open the door as Shaun rammed his shoulder into his wrecked locker with a yell of rage.

“Shaun!” Jesse darted through the door and flew into the back corner of the room. He grabbed onto him in a panic. “Stop!”

Shaun shoved him away with a growl. “The whole goddamn school knows about us!”

Jesse checked the locker and saw there was a sizable dent, smudged with bright red blood. He looked down and saw Shaun’s bloodied right-hand, dripping blood onto the floor and he swallowed a cry of distress.

“This is exactly what I was trying to avoid.” Shaun drove his foot into the locker this time. “Getting fucking outted!” He kicked the door with force, and it shuddered violently, just barely holding on at the hinges. “I warned you not to tell anybody and you went and told Kyle of all people! After I told you to keep it a secret!”

“I-I-I’m sorry alright!” Jesse stammered as Shaun kicked the door a third time with a grunt of effort. “I-I was just lonely…and I was jealous!”

“You fucking idiot!” Shaun shouted as he kicked the door a fourth time and the locker finally caved in on itself. “You are so stupid!”

A stray tear rolled down Jesse’s cheek and he looked away in embarrassment. “I just wanted Kyle to know you were mine. I didn’t mean for everyone else to find out. I’m sorry.”

Shaun didn’t respond as he breathed heavily, just a few paces away.

Jesse stared down at the blood on the floor. He didn’t know what to say.

“I fucking hate this place,” Shaun said darkly. “I should burn it to the ground on my way out of town.”

“Do you really care what those people out there think?” Jesse asked, looking up at Shaun from under his pale lashes. “I’m not embarrassed they know, Shaun. I love you,” he said softly as Shaun met his gaze with a sigh. “You’re the only one I care about.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Shaun said through his teeth. “But everything’s going to be harder now.”

“We’ve only got a month of school left,” Jesse said easily. “Really, what’s the worse they can do to us?

Shaun slumped down onto the bench with a deep sigh as the tension drained from his body. “I’m leaving,” he said, pulling his injured hand into his lap and studying it with fascination.

Jesse had wanted to finish class, but after that showdown on the basketball court, he was ready to bow out for the day. “Can I come?”

“No,” Shaun hissed. “I’m going to Kyle’s.”

“Oh.”

Shaun stood up. He hesitated, then grabbed an edge of the bent locker and pried it open. He retrieved his boots and his jeans and bundled them in his arms. “Can you hold on to these for me?” he asked sheepishly.

Jesse shyly took the clothes from him. “Will I see you later tonight?”

“Yeah. I’ll come see you.”

Jesse smiled. Maybe the day hadn’t been totally ruined after all.

Shaun looked deep into his eyes as he lifted a hand. He ghosted his fingers across his cheek. “See you later.”

Jesse leaned into his touch with a soft moan. “Sooner rather than later, please.”

Shaun’s eyes flashed with interest, but he dropped his hand and backed away. “Watch your back, Jesse,” he said as he moved to exit the room. “Go home on the bus. Don’t put up with any bullshit from Kenny.”

Jesse bit his lip and nodded.

Shaun disappeared into the hall and Jesse sank onto the bench with a sigh. He curled around Shaun’s clothes and breathed in their scent. They were clean for once, but there was a bit of Shaun’s natural smell underneath the fabric soap and Jesse enjoyed it thoroughly.

Shaun would be back soon. He’d promised.

He left the locker room before the others finished their games. He didn’t want to run into Kenny and Eric again and he didn’t want to get blamed for the destroyed locker either.

He went to his last class of the day but didn’t pay attention to the lecture. He drew pictures of guitars in his notebook and wondered if Shaun would be able to play with his fucked-up hand. It had looked much worse after beating the locker and he was probably making it ten times worse, beating Kyle. Punching lockers and people wasn’t good practice for guitarists.

When school let out, Jesse unloaded his backpack at his locker and transferred Shaun’s clothes and his boots to the main pouch. He took his time. Shaun had told him to ride home on the bus, but he was dreading it. He didn’t want to be trapped in the close confines with Kenny and his friends and he was seriously considering walking home. He dawdled with the strap on his bookbag as his classmates emptied the building around him.

At the last moment, Jesse second guessed himself. The bus ride wouldn’t be fun, but he’d be home so much quicker. Kenny couldn’t get away with much anyway. There’d be too many witnesses.

Jesse shouldered his bag and slammed his locker. He was the last student in this part of the building. A student teacher he’d never personally met ambled past with an armload of papers. He gave Jesse an inquisitive look.

Jesse turned and sprinted down the hall and to the right. There was no one in the main hall either. Shit. He may have already missed the bus.

He flew out the front doors, his gaze focused on the line of buses idling in the parking lot. A few students were still getting on. There was a small group of kids at the end of the front walk, talking and laughing.

Jesse took a step toward them when an arm banded across his chest and he was pulled back into a tall, bulky body. A single, large hand went over his mouth while another wound around both his wrists and jerked them sharply behind his body.

“Mmmhhhppp!”

“Wow, that was easier than I thought,” said a familiar voice.

The chest Jesse was pressed against rumbled with laughter. “Easy for you,” Eric said and Jesse’s blood ran cold. He struggled in the lumbering jock’s iron-clad hold and cried fruitlessly for help.

Rick stepped in front of Jesse. He peered at him with narrowed eyes. “C’mon,” he said to Eric. “Let’s go. Before someone sees.”

Eric frog marched Jesse around the building and into the side lot where the teachers parked. There were two cars on either end of the small, paved area and Eric walked them between the vehicles and into the grass bordering the football stadium. Three guys stood waiting, Jordan, one of the guys from gym, and Kenny. Jesse’s eyes focused on the dark-haired teen as he smiled cruelly.

Jesse got a mouthful of grass as he was tossed to the ground and Eric and Rick closed ranks behind him. The circle tightened and there was a round of laughter as Jesse sat up on his knees and spat out the grass.

“Nice of you to grace us with your presence, cocksucker,” Kenny said cheerfully and Jesse looked at him in a panic. The desperation on his face seemed to amuse Kenny more and his evil smile widened. “You’ve been avoiding us…I wonder why?”

Jorden sneered. “It’s because he can’t suck our dicks.”

“We don’t like your kind around here, freak,” Eric chimed in and Rick folded his arms and nodded along with him.

In the distance, the buses pulled out of the parking lot and Jesse watched them go with an intense longing in his belly. He should have gotten on the fucking bus. He wrapped his arms around himself and began to rock. “Oh no…”

“How can you even bear to touch a guy like Shaun?” Rick asked.

Eric chuckled. “You must have really horrible taste.”

“Yeah, especially since you didn’t even touch Emily,” Jordan added quickly, looking to Kenny for approval.

“Why do you even care?” Jesse whined. He looked frantically from face to face. He couldn’t take five guys at once. “What the fuck are you guys going to do to me?!”

The smile slid from Kenny’s face. “I told you not to mess with her,” he said darkly. “When you fucked with my sister you made your business, my business.”

“Dirty faggot,” spat the boy from gym and Jesse shrank away in disgust. He couldn’t stop shaking.

“Freak!” a voice jeered and Jesse whirled around, not sure who had said it. He was terrified. Cold sweat beaded along his hairline.

“You had this coming for a while now, but the second you started taking it up the ass you signed your death warrant.” Kenny stepped into the impromptu ring and Jesse scrambled to his feet. He tried to retreat, but rough hands shoved him back into the circle and Kenny punched him square in the jaw.

Jesse fell heavily into Jordan and the asshole shoved him away, then nailed Jesse’s jaw in a jab that sent him spinning into the fray. Eric took a turn next and he stepped up and took a healthy swing, but Jesse dodged him by an inch. Rick kneed him sharply from behind, though and Jesse staggered forward. “Ugh!”

Eric caught him by the hair and viciously wrenched him back.

“Ow, ow, ow, nooo!” Jesse grabbed onto Eric’s wrist with both hands as he was lifted off the ground and Eric held him aloft, laughing meanly.

Jesse twisted in the air and clawed madly at Eric’s wrist as the big monster grinned with a sick enjoyment. Panicked, Jesse pulled his legs up and kicked Eric as hard as he could in the gut. He fell in the grass as Eric cursed above him.

“Fucker!”

Jesse rolled to his feet as Rick and the other boy came at him, but adrenaline rushed through Jesse’s veins and he launched himself forward with a war cry and forced himself between the two boys. There was nothing on the other side. Nothing but open field and trees beyond that and Jesse ran, his heart pounding in his chest. He felt like he was going in slow motion and couldn’t move his legs fast enough.

“Gah!” Jesse jerked to a stop as the neck of his T-shirt closed over his throat. Someone had the back of his shirt and they yanked him back.

“Where are you going, Jess?” Kenny laughed. “We weren’t through with you yet.”

Jesse screamed and thrashed in frustration as Kenny dragged him back to the circle. He curled into a protective ball when Kenny tossed him in the grass again.

Eric kicked him hard in the ribs. “Fucking pussy.”

Jesse screamed in pain.

Eric kicked him a few more times, laughing, and Jesse whimpered and pulled his arms into himself, totally helpless.

“That’s enough,” Kenny said, and Eric stepped back to make room. He crouched over Jesse and pried his arms away from his face. “You’re disgusting for what you do,” Kenny said as he climbed on top of Jesse and pinned his flailing arms to the ground with his knees. His friends gathered around excitedly as he leaned down into Jesse’s red, straining face. “That’s why I’m going to beat the shit out of you,” Kenny said in a soft voice. “Because you deserve it.” Then he pulled back his arm and drove his fist into Jesse’s face. He did it again and again and he didn’t hold back.

Stars exploded behind Jesse’s eyelids as he was repeatedly battered. He screamed at first, but it turned to a weak, sputtering sound as his mouth filled with blood. He didn’t know how long Kenny pounded his face, but it felt like minutes. Kenny’s buddies cheered him on through the whole thing. They were insatiable.

“Oh my god! Stop!” A feminine voice came from the distance. “I’m getting help!”

Kenny rolled off and leapt to his feet as Jesse peeled his swollen eyes open. He watched in a daze as Kenny, Eric, and the others fled for the woods.

Jesse let his head fall back against the grass as his eyes drifted shut. They stung like crazy. His face throbbed. His body hurt and he groaned deep in his chest.

“Jesse! Jesse, are you alright?” The feminine voice said again, right beside him this time and Jesse turned his head and slitted his eyes open. Miss Stevens hovered over him like an angel, her face awash with concern and a flood of relief rushed over Jesse’s aching body.

Another figure appeared over Stevens’ shoulder. Jesse opened his eyes a bit wider. It was Coach Vance and he glared at Jesse.

“Did you get a look at who was hitting him?” he asked. He looked down the field after Jesse’s retreating attackers. They had just reached the edge of the woods. He could probably recognize Kenny and his friends from where he stood, with nearly a mile between them at this point, but he didn’t offer any names.

“No. I didn’t,” Miss Stevens admitted as she put an arm around Jesse’s shoulders and gingerly helped him up. Jesse winced in pain, but he mustered through it with Miss Stevens’ assistance and slowly got to his feet. “As soon as I saw what was happening, I ran back inside to get you,” Stevens said. “But I’m sure Jesse can identify them.”

The coach threw Jesse a contemplative look.

“Help me, would you?” Stevens asked and the coach grudgingly moved to Jesse’s other side. He took his arm and assisted Stevens as they led Jesse back into the building.

The nurse’s office was empty, but the coach had a key. He let them in and Miss Stevens got to work treating Jesse’s injuries. Both his eyes were bruised and swollen and when Stevens checked his pupils, she said he had a concussion. His lip was split and bloody. He had numerous cuts on his face and bruises scattered across his body. Stevens found an ice pack and advised him to hold it to his face.

The principal had already left for the day, but when Miss Stevens called him and explained the situation, he said he was turning around and coming back. She called Monica next and stepped into the hall to talk, but Jesse could hear the tone of his mother’s voice. She was upset.

Jesse met Coach Vance’s eyes from across the room. The portly man watched him with narrowed eyes. Jesse looked away uncomfortably.

Miss Stevens slid back into the room. She cleared her throat. “Your mother will be here in an hour.”

Jesse nodded and curled up on his cot in the corner. He pillowed his head on his arm as he gingerly pressed the icepack to his eye.

“So,” Miss Stevens started slowly. “You didn’t get a look at any of your attackers’ faces?”

“No,” Jesse said simply. He was glad for the English teacher’s help, but he wasn’t going to tattle. She’d asked him several times about the attack already, but Jesse had been closemouthed. He didn’t want Kenny to get afterschool detention. He wanted to get even.

“But how is that possible?” Miss Stevens asked. “Why did you get assaulted? Maybe that’ll help you think who could possibly have done this.”

“Maybe he doesn’t remember,” the coach spoke up. He was reclined in the nurse’s desk chair with his hands tucked under his armpits. He looked bored. “With the concussion and all…maybe he’s got short term memory loss.”

Miss Stevens pursed her lips, but Jesse latched onto the explanation. “Yeah. I’ve probably got short term memory loss.” He hated the way the coach’s lips curled into a smug smile at his eager acceptance, but he’d already decided he wasn’t turning Kenny in. The coach wasn’t going to change his mind.

“I don’t know…” Miss Stevens hesitated.

“It’s pretty normal. Especially with all the stress he’s been under lately,” the coach said, gesturing to Jesse. For a moment, Jesse wondered if the stress he was referring to was Shaun, but then the coach continued. “Finals are coming up in a few weeks…it’s a busy time.”

Miss Stevens frowned, but she stopped asking questions.

When the principal arrived, the round of questioning started all over again. Mr. Norris, a thin, balding, middle-aged man, didn’t buy Jesse’s amnesia either, but Jesse wasn’t talking and there wasn’t a lot anyone could do.

“Are you sure you can’t tell me anything about the assault besides ‘it hurt a lot’?” Mr. Norris asked tiredly, and Jesse shook his head. The principal sighed. “I run a tight ship here, Mr. Welch. These boys shouldn’t get off scot-free. I can call the police and you can talk to them if you’d like.”

“Ah…no.” Jesse shifted uncomfortably on the cot. “I really don’t remember anything.”

The principal gave Jesse an unhappy look, but he gave up soon after and left the room. Jesse could hear him, Miss Stevens, and Coach Vance talking in the hallway outside. He shut his eyes and tried to tune them out.

He managed to fall asleep after that, curled up in the nurse’s office. Nearly two hours passed before Monica showed up.

Jesse was woken by his mother’s voice.

“What’d you do now?” She and Miss Stevens stood over Jesse’s cot. Monica was donned in her scrubs. She looked unimpressed.

Miss Stevens looked at her with wide, concerned eyes. “He was attacked. I witnessed it. Five against one.”

Monica clicked her tongue, but her disappointed expression didn’t change. “C’mon, kid,” she said with a sigh. “Let’s get you home.”

Monica was distant and restless on the ride home. She didn’t ask any questions about the fight, or about anything really. She checked her phone several times during the drive and sent a few texts, and Jesse thought again about the “boyfriend theory” as he watched from the corner of his eye.

As they neared the house, Monica spoke up. “I’ll be home late,” she said. “A friend at work skipped dinner so I could pick you up, so I’m staying an extra couple of hours for her tonight.”

Jesse groaned. It was going to be a long night.

“Since you’re in no condition to babysit, I already called the daycare,” Monica said. “Brian and Lissa are staying for the night service again.”

Jesse gasped, horrified. “You can’t do that! Brian will lose his shit!”

“It’s already done.” Monica pursed her lips. “Ninety dollars out of my account and this is the thanks I get?” She pulled in the driveway and slammed the gear into park. She got out huffily and came around to help Jesse out of the van. “Just be grateful you don’t have to babysit tonight. I won’t do it again. Trust me.”

Sam was messing around in the kitchen when they came in the front door. Jesse could hear the microwave humming and water running in the sink. The twins were situated on the living room couch with a TV show and a deck of Uno cards.

Allison peeked over the back of the couch as Jesse set his bag by the door and Monica went into the kitchen for ice. “What happened to your face?” she asked in a little voice.

“I got in a fight,” Jesse said as Tyler looked up from his show. His eyes widened when he caught sight of Jesse’s face.

Monica swept back into the room with an icepack and a towel. “Let’s get you in bed.”

They went upstairs and Jesse got into something comfortable while Monica fetched a bottle of water and some aspirin. He got into bed and Monica watched him take the pills, then settled the cold pack on his swollen face.

Monica looked at the damage a bit closer this time. “I’ll come and check on you when I get home,” she said with a faint smile. “They really did a number on you.”

Jesse scowled at her.

Monica flitted around the room and scooped up a pile of dirty clothes. She shook her head as she snagged a discarded bag of chips and an empty pop bottle and added it to the pile. “Boys,” she muttered. “Nothing but slobs.”

She stepped out of the room and a few minutes later, Jesse heard the washer kick on down in the laundry room. Soon after, Monica’s and Sam’s voices floated upstairs from the kitchen, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying. Just their voices.

Jesse drifted off to sleep as he listened to the familiar sounds of the house. He had a fleeting dream about Shaun. He saw his face in his mind… his dark, intense eyes…

“Whoa,” said a voice from the doorway and Jesse was jerked from his slumber. He sat up in a daze, thinking Shaun had come to visit.

The figure in the door wasn’t Shaun’s, however. Sam stood in the hall, gazing at Jesse in amazement and Jesse flopped back into bed in disappointment.

“Who jumped you?” Sam asked.

Jesse sighed. He didn’t see the point in lying. Sam wouldn’t care either way. “Kenny and some friends,” he said bitterly. “But Kyle’s the one who screwed me over. He’s the one who got me beat up.”

“Kyle?” Sam snorted in disbelief.

“He told everyone at school about me and Shaun,” Jesse said angrily. “He outted us.”

“I don’t believe you.” Sam rolled his eyes. “He was here singing your praises yesterday.”

Jesse glowered up at the ceiling. He wasn’t in the mood for an argument. “He ran his mouth today. After Shaun and I approached him about staying away from you.”

“You did what?”

“It wasn’t a coincidence,” Jesse muttered. “Right after…” He skipped the part where Shaun had Kyle against a locker. “After we confronted him, everyone stared looking at us different.” He shook his head, so his hair fell into his eyes. “Then Kenny and his friends ganged up on me after school.”

Sam crossed his arms. “You haven’t been talking to Kenny for days. Or of any of the other guys. What happened there?”

Jesse scowled. He regretted saying anything. “Leave me alone, alright? I appreciate you taking care of the twins, but I just want to sleep!”

Sam snorted again. “Yeah. Okay,” he said. He started to turn away, but then paused. “I made dinner if you’re interested. Pizza rolls.”

“No thanks.” Jesse turned on his side and waited anxiously for him to leave.

“And just so you know,” Sam said and there was a smile in his voice. “Everyone’s crediting me for starting the rumor. I’m the one who called Shaun out on the bus this morning. Everyone at my school talked about it all day.”

Jesse sat up, a sharp retort on the tip of his tongue, but Sam was gone. Jesse laid back with a frustrated sigh.

Within twenty minutes, he was asleep again. The aspirin had mellowed the pain and his face was numb from the ice. Another hour passed before raised voices from downstairs woke him from his slumber.

“…can’t go up there!”

“The hell I can’t.”

The first voice was Sam, but the second, deeper one was Shaun’s and Jesse’s whole body vibrated with excitement. He heard footsteps coming down the hallway and he sat up as the door slid open.

Shaun peered into the room. “Jesse?”

“Um…hi.” Jesse smiled sheepishly and Shaun’s eyes widened as he stepped into the room and pushed the door shut behind him.

“What the fuck, Jesse?”

“It’s nothing—”

“What the fuck happened?!” Shaun shouted, then he moved to the bed and climbed up the bunk. The frame swayed dangerously as he reached the top. “What happened to your goddamn face?!”

Jesse flinched and looked down at the blanket pooled in his lap.

“It was Kenny, wasn’t it?” Shaun snapped.

Jesse didn’t look up. He didn’t want Shaun to get involved. He wasn’t a girl; he could take care of himself.

“And that bastard Eric, too. Right?” Shaun growled.

Jesse shrugged.

“Tell me!” There was a wild anger in Shaun’s eyes. “Then I can make them sorry they touched you!” He took the last rung on the ladder and crawled onto Jesse’s bed, then loomed over him as he studied the damage to his face. Slowly, he stretched out a trembling hand and stroked Jesse’s cheek. “I’ll fucking kill them.”

“No, Shaun, I don’t need you to protect—”

Shaun grabbed his biceps and shook him violently. “The fuck you don’t!” he yelled. “What the fuck did they do to you! Jesus Christ, Jesse!”

Jesse leaned away as his cheeks burned with embarrassment. He felt like a child in Shaun’s grasp.

Shaun sighed and let him go. He pushed a hand through his hair as he sat back on the mattress and tried to cool down. “Kyle never came home,” he grumbled. “I waited down the road for almost four hours before his dad pulled in the driveway.”

“I think he’s hiding from you,” Jesse said softly.

Shaun shook his head. “Fucking little bitch.”

Jesse chewed his bottom lip. It stung and he concentrated on the pain as he carefully picked his next words. “Shaun… Please don’t go after Kenny—”

”Shut up,” Shaun hissed. “I’m going to destroy his pretty face.”

”Shaun, no, please—”

“Shhh,” Shaun hushed as he pressed a finger to Jesse’s lips. He pressed much harder than necessary and Jesse pouted dramatically, but he kept quiet. Shaun stared at Jesse’s mouth. Gently, he ran a finger along his plump, lower lip. “You’re making it worse,” he said. “The cut on your lip.” And he held up his finger. It was stained with blood.

“Oh.” Jesse blinked and reached up to touch his mouth, but Shaun batted his hand away and grasped his chin. He pulled Jesse close. “Shaun?” Jesse gasped as Shaun sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and kissed him deeply. Shaun pushed his tongue into Jesse’s mouth and Jesse tasted his own blood.

Shaun pulled back and licked his lips hungrily. “I’ll be back later, if I can,” he said, cupping Jesse’s other cheek as his dark eyes filled with longing. He slid his hand down and caressed Jesse’s jaw. He hit a tender spot and Jesse winced. Shaun’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Maybe I’ll just see you tomorrow.”

Jesse sighed, but he didn’t argue. He’d probably be fast asleep by the time Shaun showed up again. He was resigning himself to the fact Shaun was going to avenge him, too, and was trying to be cool. ”I love you,” he said, then got on his knees and ghosted his hands along Shaun’s firm thighs so he could rest his weight on them and lean in close. He pressed his lips against Shaun’s and groaned as he met them eagerly. They kissed heatedly for a few moments, their tongues sliding together in a sensual dance.

Shaun pulled away. “I have to go,” he murmured against Jesse’s lips, then he stroked his hair back affectionately and looked deeply into his eyes. “Take care of yourself, alright?”

Jesse wrapped his arms around Shaun’s middle and clutched him tight. “Bye,” he whispered, burying his face against Shaun’s broad chest.

Shaun indulged him for a moment, but then he gently extracted himself from Jesse’s hold and slid down from the bunk bed. He sent Jesse one last look over his shoulder, and then he left the room. A few seconds later, Jesse heard the front door bang open and then shut.

Shaun was gone.

Jesse waited for Shaun as long as he could, but eventually he passed out. Close to midnight, Monica poked her head in the bedroom and asked if he’d eaten or if he needed anything. In a daze, Jesse shook his head and fell back on his pillow. Monica left and he slept solidly until morning.

Monica bustled into the bedroom. “Up, up, up,” she sang, pulling the curtains aside and then ripping the blankets off Sam’s bed.

“Mom!” Sam cried. Jesse didn’t remember him coming to bed. He was half dressed, in a pair of boxer shorts, and nothing else.

“You overslept. The bus will be here in thirty minutes. Get moving,” Monica said pleasantly and Sam groaned and rolled lazily out of bed. He muttered unhappily under his breath as he dragged himself to the bathroom.

Monica turned to Jesse next and he peered at her over the edge of the bed’s railing.

“I called you off school for today,” she said. “There’s cereal in the kitchen and another ice pack in the freezer. The aspirins on the bathroom counter if you need it. Two every six hours.”

Jesse nodded.

“Rest up. You’re going to school tomorrow,” Monica said sternly, then she left the room.

Jesse listened to the familiar sounds of his family’s morning routine. It took close to an hour before everyone left for the day and he lazed in bed until he was sure they were gone.

When the coast was clear, he climbed out of bed and shuffled down the hall. He stripped out of his clothes in the bathroom and got in the shower.

Jesse’s body was covered in bruises and he soaped himself up gingerly. He wondered if Shaun had found Kenny last night. A small part of him hoped he’d beaten his ass...

Jesse ran the washcloth over his bruised ribs as he cursed himself for ever talking to Kyle. If he would have listened to Shaun and stayed away from the blond boy, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

Jesse stepped under the shower head and shut his eyes as the water flowed through his hair and over his body. Shaun had been right from the very beginning. Jesse shouldn’t have messed with Emily and he shouldn’t have talked to Kyle, either.

After a long shower, Jesse went downstairs for breakfast and fixed himself a bowl of cereal. He grabbed the ice pack from the freezer and migrated to the living room to eat his cereal on the couch. He turned on an old rerun of The Price is Right and zoned out.

Jesse had just finished his cereal when there was a firm knock at the door. He set his bowl on the coffee table as his pulse sped up with nervous excitement and he leapt up to answer the door.

“Hi,” Jesse said breathlessly.

Shaun stood glumly on the front step, a single bruise marring his cheek, just under his eye. “Hey,” he said.

Jesse wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him inside. The door shut behind them as he nestled his face into Shaun’s chest and kissed his sweaty neck.

“I went to school, but you weren’t there,” Shaun grunted, brushing his lips against Jesse’s hair. “I had to walk all the way here.”

Jesse laughed. “Like you don’t make the same walk every single day.”

“You were right the other day. It’s getting hot out,” Shaun complained. “And it’s going to rain. I’m lucky it didn’t start pouring while I was out there.”

Jesse smiled. “Well, I’m glad you came.” He clung to Shaun needily, wanting to tell him he loved him again, but he bit his tongue.

“Mmm,” Shaun murmured, before he pulled away. Jesse whined and so Shaun compromised and he kept an arm around Jesse’s shoulders. He led him to the couch and once they were both seated, Jesse all but crawled into his lap. He touched Shaun’s new bruise with a single, gentle finger.

“So, what happened?”

“I walked behind Jay’s farm and found them all hanging out there. I had my rifle with me, so I shot a few holes in Kenny’s truck and when he tried to stop me, I smashed his teeth in.” Shaun grinned and Jesse felt deeply uncomfortable. “Eric tried to rescue him. He managed to hit me. Once.” Shaun pointed to the bruise on his cheek. “But that fucking idiot must’ve forgot I had my rifle with me. He turned his back for a just a second and left himself wide open for a head shot. When he turned around I whacked him right in the nose. Fucking broke it again, I think,” he said cheerfully. “Then I told those other retards standing around if they told anyone or if they bothered you anymore, I’d come back and fuck them up, too.”

“Shaun…”

“What?” Shaun snapped. “I had to do something! Nobody’s allowed to hurt you like that!”

Even though Shaun seemed to believe he couldn’t defend himself, Jesse was flattered he would go to so much trouble to get even for him. “I just don’t want you to get arrested, “Jesse said gently. “You have to be careful.”

Shaun snorted. “I won’t get arrested.”

Jesse bit his lip again. He was worried. Shaun’s reputation would probably keep Kenny and his friends from going to the cops, though. Plus, Jesse could just turn around and implicate Kenny and Eric in his own assault, so it’d be dumb of them to say anything. “You’re a good boyfriend,” he said after a moment, tucking some of Shaun’s hair behind his ear.

“I don’t like that word,” Shaun said grumpily.

Jesse pushed his bottom lip out. “Too bad.”

Shaun stared at Jesse with a dark, intent gaze. “I do like you, you know. I wouldn’t be…I wouldn’t do the things I do for you unless I did.”

“I know.” Jesse smiled sweetly. “That’s why I’m so happy.” His lip hurt from all the smiling, but the pain was a temporary thing. This…this thing between Shaun and Jesse…was going to be permanent. Or at least Jesse hoped it would be.

Shaun looked uncomfortable, but he attempted to smile back. “We have the house to ourselves?”

“Yeah.” Jesse suddenly realized how rare of an opportunity they had. “Let’s go upstairs.”

Shaun followed Jesse to his room, but he stopped and hesitated as Jesse climbed up to his bunk. He fidgeted with his hand, looking totally lost, and Jesse noticed he’d wrapped a section of gauze around it.

“How’s your hand now?”

“Too fucked to play,” Shaun said bitterly.

Jesse smiled sadly at the other boy. “I want to try something.”

Shaun looked up at him with raised brows.

“Take your shoes off,” Jesse said, smiling wryly from the top bunk. “And the jeans, too.”

“What?” Shaun toed off his tennis shoes with a chuckle. “I didn’t come for sex, you know?”

“You didn’t?”

“I came to make sure you were alright and to tell you about Kenny and Eric,” Shaun said as he unzipped his fly and shimmed out of his jeans. They pooled on the floor with the boots and kicked them away. “You can sleep easy. I think I properly avenged you.”

“That’s incredibly sweet of you, and all, but I want to have sex, too,” Jesse pointed out sweetly as Shaun climbed up the bunk and crawled across the bed. He moved close until they were lips were inches apart. Jesse looked down at Shaun’s mouth and smiled slowly. “I want to try something.”

“Oh yeah?” Shaun grabbed Jesse’s pillow and fell on his side. He propped his head up with the pillow, looking quite comfortable. “What sort of experiment?”

Jesse scooted back excitedly. “Lay flat on your back and spread your legs.”

Shaun narrowed his eyes suspiciously but followed instruction. He looked up at Jesse, his brow furrowed with bemusement.

Jesse pulled his loose t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor below. Now all that was left was a pair of PJ bottoms and he shifted so he fit into the neat space between Shaun’s spread thighs.

Shaun’s cock had been growing since he took off his jeans. The bulge was thick and heavy. It filled his boxer shorts admirably.

“I’m going to take it out,” Jesse said shyly. He was eager to explore Shaun’s cock again, but with the ideas running through his head, he was a tad intimidated by the size.

Shaun groaned disapprovingly, but he didn’t say anything for or against Jesse’s plan. So, Jesse reached inside Shaun’s boxers and pulled out his cock.

It really was big. And thick. Jesse wasn’t a fan of dicks, per say, but he thought it wouldn’t be too far off to say Shaun had one of the best cocks in existence.

Jesse studied the length in his hand as he began to stroke the dark pink shaft. He squeezed his hand up the length, so the spongy, reddish head sat like a mushroom at the end of his fist. Then pulled Shaun’s skin all the way down to the base and held it tight as the shaft throbbed fat and veiny. Shaun may not have been planning on sex, but he smelled clean and fresh and Jesse licked his lips as he scratched his fingers through his sweet-smelling pubes.

Shaun stared down at him with half-lidded eyes. “Jesse…”

“I’m going to suck it,” Jesse whispered.

Shaun’s eyes widened, but he was silent. There was no protest and Jesse lowered his head and closed his hot mouth around the very tip of Shaun’s cock.

“Ah!” Shaun’s gasp was torn from him, loud and surprised. “Jesse!”

Jesse started to suck. He bobbed his head and focused on the tip. He’d read something once, in a girls’ magazine about blowjobs. Slowly, he swirled his tongue around the swollen head, treating it like a lollipop.

Shaun hissed as he fisted the bed sheets. His fingers twisted in the fabric as Jesse experimented with his tongue. “Jesus Christ…”

Jesse sucked his cock for a few minutes, then pulled back and looked up at Shaun’s expression.

“What are you doing?” Shaun opened his eyes with a groan. “Why’d you stop?”

“Take off your boxers.” Jesse smiled. “I want to get you naked.”

“I don’t know why,” Shaun grumbled, but he slid his thumbs under the waistband of his boxers and pulled them off in a single downward pull. His cock bobbed upright as he tossed his briefs over the side of the bed. He crossed his arms and laid back with a scowl on his face.

Jesse smiled as he smoothed his hands up Shaun’s thighs. He didn’t immediately begin the blowjob as he had planned, however. He was transfixed by the sight of Shaun’s legs. His thighs were covered in a disturbing amount of scars; he couldn’t tell how many were self-inflicted, but the numerous rows of neat, puckered scar tissue made his heart clench.

Shaun tensed as if he could hear Jesse’s thoughts. His expression darkened and he started to sit up, but Jesse pushed him back with a gentle hand on his chest.

“Just relax,” Jesse said soothingly, and Shaun glowered up at him disagreeably. “I know what I’m doing.” He laughed. “Sorta…” He settled back into the warm place between Shaun’s bare thighs and dipped his head as Shaun muttered something under his breath.

Shaun gasped, and his head fell back onto the pillow as Jesse went to work on his cock again and used everything he’d picked up from several years of teenage sex.

Jesse wrapped his fingers around the base and took as much of Shaun’s cock into his mouth as he could. He bobbed his head as he practiced moving his tongue in concert. His split lip was already hurting, but he ignored it and pushed on. He moved his tongue around and around the slobbery length in his mouth as Shaun moaned in approval. Shaun squirted precome onto Jesse’s tongue and the taste was salty, but also slightly sweet.

Shaun peeled his eyes open and watched in awe as Jesse pleasured him with his mouth. His breathing picked up dramatically as he stretched out his left hand and slid it gently through Jesse’s hair. His fingers carded through the silky locks as Jesse bounced on his shaft, and, almost without conscious thought, he eased him further down his shaft. “Oh god!” He tipped his head back as his cock twitched crazily on Jesse’s tongue. He pushed a little further and his breath caught in his throat. “Shit…”

That seemed to be the breaking point for Shaun and he held the back of Jesse’s head as he thrust his hips repeatedly into his face with force. He grunted in time with his thrusts, his face screwing up as he neared orgasm.

Jesse’s eyes watered as he struggled to control his gag reflex. His hand was the only thing preventing him from being choked. He groaned around Shaun’s thick cock and squeezed his hand warmly around the base as Shaun grunted like a wild animal and fucked him until he came with a shout.

Jesse swallowed convulsively around the thrusting length as it jetted thick streams of semen into the back of his throat. It tasted different than his precome. It was saltier, but it wasn’t bad.

Shaun let go of Jesse’s head as his cock went soft and he sagged back into the bed with a groan. “Come up here.”

Jesse got on his knees and climbed eagerly on top of the other boy so their chests were pressed together. He could feel Shaun’s wet cock nestled against his thigh. “How was it?” he asked and was secretly thrilled with the raspy sound of his voice. It was like a badge of honor!

“Do you really have to ask?” Shaun ran a lazy hand through Jesse’s hair and Jesse arched into his touch with a moan. He was so horny and turned on. Shaun’s touch sent delicious shivers down his spine.

“Do you ah…want me to…” Shaun trailed off awkwardly, nodding toward Jesse’s still covered erection. “Ah…I mean, I could try…” He tripped over his words and Jesse wondered if he was trying to offer a blowjob. He would have loved to see Shaun suck his cock, but he had a feeling that he’d end up in a foul mood if he did. Shaun was so afraid of being gay and besides taking a dick up one’s ass, there was nothing gayer than sucking cock.

“Can you rub me off?” Jesse asked sweetly. Shaun hadn’t been too put off touching his dick the last time. He’d seem to like it, even. “I like your hands,” he said shyly.

Shaun stared at Jesse, his dark eyes unreadable. “Take your pants off.”

Jesse yanked the pants down without thought. He hadn’t bothered to get dressed up after his shower, choosing comfort over style. There was no underwear underneath.

Shaun didn’t say anything, but it was clear he was appreciating the show. His eyes moved over Jesse’s body before finally resting on his hips. He rested his hands there and pulled Jesse onto his side.

Jesse looked deeply into Shaun’s eyes as the other boy looked back into his, just as intently. Shaun’s fingers danced across the sensitive skin on Jesse’s bare upper thigh, his breathing slow and even and Jesse moaned and wiggled closer. His cock was so hard, it hurt. He wanted Shaun to touch it so badly…he grabbed onto Shaun’s bicep and whimpered pitifully as it flexed under his fingers.

Shaun’s tongue flicked out and ran tantalizingly across his lower lip and Jesse groaned as his gaze zeroed in on it. He couldn’t help himself; he pressed his lips against Shaun’s and chased his tongue into his mouth. His lip stung and throbbed from the excessive use, but he was desperate for release and the pain was unimportant. Shaun kissed him so slowly Jesse felt like he was going to die, and he groaned into Shaun’s mouth as he tightened his grip on his arm. He drew the other boy’s tongue into his mouth and sucked it fervently, urging Shaun to kiss him harder.

Shaun grunted and dug his fingers into Jesse’s hip. He pulled him until his front was flush to his own. Then, Shaun spit in his hand and gathered Jesse’s straining erection in his strong, calloused palm. He pressed it firmly against his own reawakening cock and Jesse’s eyes rolled back in his head. Shaun stroked their cocks together and it felt so good; Jesse’s cock slid against Shaun’s silky shaft. His grip was powerful and demanding and he masturbated Jesse much faster than he usually did himself, but it added to the intensity and the thrill.

Shaun watched Jesse with a heated gaze as he jerked them off in tandem. His eyes were trained on Jesse’s face, his teeth gritted, sweat beading above his upper lip, and he was so gorgeous in that moment, Jesse leaned in desperately to kiss him again. Their mouths met passionately as Shaun continued to jerk them off. Spit was all over both their faces, but neither of them cared.

It only took a few moments for Jesse to reach orgasm. When it happened, he tore his mouth from Shaun’s and arched his back with a groan. Shockwaves of bliss rocked through his slender body as he came forcefully across Shaun’s stomach. With a helpless moan, he clutched Shaun’s shoulders as the feelings overwhelmed him, and for a second he blacked out.

Shaun grunted as he crushed their dicks together. He pulled them both aggressively as he finished himself off and came right behind Jesse, adding his sperm to the mix. He released them both with a cringe. “Aw, fuck,” he muttered, sitting up halfway to assess the damage. “I forgot about the goddamn shirt.”

Jesse collapsed against the pillow, weak and sated. He felt pleasantly lethargic. He looked down at Shaun’s lower half. His dark pubes and his stomach had received the brunt of Jesse’s ejaculation. The bottom half of his shirt had been splattered as well.

Shaun tried to wipe it away, but it was no good. His injured hand was of no use wrapped in gauze and his other hand was covered in come. He gave up after a moment of fussing and laid back down. “Well?” he asked gruffly, wiping his messy hand on the tangled sheets. “Did you get everything you wanted?”

As Jesse watched his boyfriend, there was only one last thing that came to mind. Though Shaun tried to pretend what had just taken place was no big deal, Jesse knew they had both enjoyed it thoroughly. He decided to press his luck.

“Take your shirt off, too,” he said, tugging on the hem of Shaun’s long sleeved tee for emphasis.

Shaun ripped his shirt over his head, balled it up, and threw it over the edge of the bed. He laid back with a huff, his jaw working with irritation.

Jesse gazed at Shaun’s naked body, envying the ropy muscles threading through his core. His arms and chest were decorated with half healed cuts and scars though, like his thighs and his calves. The stitches on his stomach were exposed today and the puckered skin still looked red and angry. It was gruesome to look at.

“Happy?” Shaun growled. His shoulders were stiff and there was an unhappy crease between his eyebrows.

Jesse smiled sadly. He was so concerned with Shaun’s habit of cutting. He’d never met anyone who cared so little for himself. “Yes. I’m happy,” he said softly. He slid his arm around Shaun’s waist and threw a leg over his thigh. He pillowed his head on Shaun’s chest and then pulled his favorite fleece blanket over their bodies. He snuggled in with a sigh.

As a gentle stillness settled about them, Shaun relaxed against Jesse’s side. His hand came up and sifted slowly through Jesse’s hair.

Jesse arched into the touch and moaned under his breath. “Glad you came.” He pressed his lips to Shaun’s chest and shut his eyes.

It was over an hour before they spoke again. Thunder rumbled outside followed by the heavy patter of rain. The sound was hypnotic, and Jesse drifted in and out of consciousness. He wasn’t tired enough to fall asleep, but he was incredibly relaxed and warm. It was hard to keep his eyes open.

Shaun stroked his hair for a long time. Jesse didn’t know if he was conscious or not, but the hand continually played through his hair, teased his neck, and ran gently over his back.

When Jesse opened his eyes again, he gazed adoringly up at the other boy.

Shaun watched him steadily with half-lidded eyes. He must have been watching for some time…His eyes glittered with intensity.

“So, the show tonight,” Jesse started. “What are you going to do?”

Shaun looked down at his mangled hand. “I’ve gotta call Will,” he said, but he made no move to get up. He frowned deeply as he settled back into the pillow.

“You can do it later,” Jesse said, in perfect agreement with Shaun’s urge to procrastinate. After all, there was no telling when they’d get another free stretch of alone time. Not like this, anyway. Having four young kids and one moody preteen in the house didn’t leave much free time for anyone.

Shaun hugged himself as he stared off into space. “Will’s going to be pissed.”

“It’ll be alright,” Jesse said lightly.

Shaun grunted. “Doubt it.”

“I love you,” Jesse whispered, because he didn’t know how else to comfort him.

Shaun didn’t answer, but he turned and took Jesse’s mouth in a kiss. Their lips met slowly, and they devoured each other as the rain pelted the window outside.