Shaun wouldn’t admit it, but he was nervous. He knew how to fight. He could protect himself physically, but he had no idea how to guard himself against personal attacks. He was so used to being kicked around and put down that the mere idea of exposing his heart and soul, his music, was unthinkable.

This was a mistake… he didn’t care what Jesse thought…or Ben. This was going to be a horror show.

They got to Ben’s house in a half hour. It wasn’t as far as Will’s house had been, and it was ten times nicer. He lived in an upper-middle class development and all the houses were brand-new and exactly the same. They all had three bedrooms, a double garage, and a tiny fenced-in yard for the kids. The conformity of it grated on Shaun’s nerves.

They parked in the driveway next to a beat-up Jeep with skull and crossbone decals stuck to the body. Shaun looked up at the towering two-story house. He’d been here once before to pick Ben up for a show, but he’d never been inside.

“That must be Gretchen,” Jesse nodded at the Jeep.

Shaun cut the engine as he gazed up at the statuesque house. The curtain in the upstairs window moved suspiciously and Shaun narrowed his eyes. They were being watched.

“Everything will be just fine,” Jesse said soothingly.

“Fine?” Shaun sneered. “They’re going to hate me.”

“Stop. No they won’t.”

Shaun and Jesse got out and unloaded the equipment. Jesse took his guitar without being asked and started for the house. Shaun followed him at a slower pace, glaring at the red and yellow flowers spilling over the walkway. There were more on the covered porch and he made a face as he took in the insane amount of flower baskets under the front window. There was a happy little placard over the doorbell.

The Miller Family

Shaun frowned. Angela wasn’t even a Miller yet. What a cunt.

Jesse was first and he rang the doorbell.

Shaun tapped his foot as they waited.

“You’re making me nervous,” Jesse hissed over his shoulder.

Shaun huffed dramatically but halted the tapping. He crossed his arms instead and drummed the fingers on his left hand along his right forearm.

The door opened and Ben stood on the threshold, beaming. “Hey!” He opened his arms in greeting. “Glad you could make it! Come in, come in.”

“You’ve got a beautiful house,” Jesse said as he crossed the threshold.”

“Thank you.” Ben reached for the guitar. “Let me get that for you.”

“Oh.” Jesse shook out his arms with a sheepish smile. “Thanks.”

“You carried that for less than ten seconds,” Shaun snapped as he brushed past the other two in the door and made his way inside. “I would have carried it myself if it were that heavy.” The entry was beautiful, and Shaun glanced around with a scowl. He’d never been to a house as nice as this and everything was gleaming and white. The wood floors were shiny and polished. There were family photos on the wall and the word Home mounted over the stairway.

Ben was hiding a smile. “Gretchen’s down in the basement.” He gestured for Shaun and Jesse to follow, then started for the door under the stairs. “Shall we?”

Shaun was relieved there was no tour. The door opened to an L-shaped set of stairs with a landing halfway down, and there, the wall opened up so there was a view of the room below. As they descended, Shaun saw a goth girl on the big, leather sectional couch on the left side of the room. She watched their approach with honey brown eyes. The color of her irises and her cute heart-shaped face were the only features she shared with Angela. Shaun averted his eyes and glanced at the rest of the room as Jesse paused in front of him.

“That’s a huge TV,” he said. “Holy hell.”

Ben laughed. “It does the job.”

The basement was finished and the whole area was carpeted. A wall mounted TV and a coffee table were in front of the couch. A wet bar and a pool table pushed against the wall were across the room in the opposite corner leaving a large empty space in the middle of the room. A drum kit, Ben’s bass, and a microphone were set up across from the stairs and Shaun knew the latter was intended for him. He shoved past Jesse and Ben and stomped down the last few stairs.

Gretchen stood up as he reached the bottom and looked him over with a critical eye.

Shaun set his amp by the mic, then crossed his arms and studied Gretchen just the same.

Gretchen had inky, dyed black hair to her shoulders, black fingernails, black lipstick, and dramatic black eye shadow smeared around her eyes. Her face was covered in piercings and she had a bunch of tattoos, as well. She was thin and didn’t have much in the way of boobs or hips, but she was dressed to show off. Her short, snakeskin skirt was skintight, and her black Iron Maiden tee was cropped at the midriff. Six inches of her bare stomach were on display.

Ben set Shaun’s guitar by the microphone, then stepped up next to Gretchen and put an arm around her slight shoulders. “Guys, this is Gretchen. She’s the one I was telling you about.”

“You’re the singer?” Gretchen curled her pierced lip. “Shaun, right?”

Shaun drew himself up to his full height. “That’s right,” he said in a deep voice.

Gretchen was much smaller than Shaun. She was even a few inches shorter than Jesse. She had to crane her neck to meet Shaun’s gaze. “Are you even old enough to play in bars?”

“I can get in,” Shaun growled.

“Ben’s told me about you,” Gretchen said snottily. “He says you’re some kind of wunderkind musician,” she sneered, and Shaun bared his teeth at her. “If you don’t blow us all away, I think I’m going to be heartbroken.”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” Shaun whirled back to his equipment and crouched to begin setting up.

“Eager to prove himself, ain’t he?” Gretchen said to Ben.

“Gretchen…” Ben chastised in an affectionate voice. “Be nice.”

Beside them, Shaun slammed his case around as he got out his instrument. He was burning up with anger, but nobody seemed to notice.

Jesse edged past him and approached the goth girl with his hand held out. “Hi. I’m Jesse.”

Gretchen didn’t shake Jesse’s hand. She gave him an uneasy look. “What’s going on with your face?”

“Shaun and I are finishing school for the year,” Jesse said as he dropped his hand at his side. “I got into it with some guys after class. Everyone’s really…stressed out, I think.”

Gretchen gawked at him, then she started to laugh. “You’re high-schoolers?”

Ben poked her in the ribs and Gretchen hopped away with a squeal. “You wouldn’t have come if I’d told you.”

“That’s because I’m sick of working with immature dickholes.”

“Shaun’s not a dickhole,” Ben said confidently and Shaun, in the middle of setting up his amp, snorted with amusement. “And Shaun’s mature as hell,” he continued. “Maybe he’s young, but he’s a good person to have in your band.”

“Pfft.”

“You came to see Shaun because you were curious,” Jesse spoke up.

“Jesse!” Shaun hissed at him, but Jesse didn’t stop.

“You’d be wasting your time if you didn’t at least let him show you what he came up with.”

“And what do you do?” Gretchen sneered at him. “Play the tambourine?”

“No, I play the cowbell.”

Gretchen smiled, then she started to laugh. “Most kids your age are self-absorbed assholes, but you made me laugh. I’m impressed.”

“What an honor.” Jesse wiped his brow in mock relief.

Shaun stood up angrily with the guitar strap banded over his chest. “Are you guys ready or what?”

“C’mon guys, he’s ready!” Gretchen cried dramatically. “Everyone! To your places!

Shaun glared at her.

“Christ, I think I hear crickets,” Gretchen bitched as she took a seat behind the drum kit. “This kid has no sense of humor.”

Shaun growled under his breath.

“I better jump in.” Ben squeezed Jesse’s shoulder as he stepped past and walked to his bass. He picked up his instrument and got into place next to Shaun.

“Let’s get this shit over with.” Gretchen did a drumroll on the snare, then smashed the cymbal. “Ben promised me beer when this is over.”

A vein pulsed rhythmically in Shaun’s temple. Gretchen was a cunt.

“Are you going to do a solo for us?” Ben asked.

“Yeah.” Shaun strummed his guitar a few times, then he ran through a scale. He looked up moodily at Jesse as he sped up and transitioned into a song.

Jesse sat on the back of the couch with a gentle smile on his lips and Shaun’s black heart filled to bursting with love for him. He was so goddamn beautiful…

Shaun took a deep breath and sang out the chorus.

 

No more backing down

I won’t be pushed around

Here I stand my ground

Look me in the eyes

As fury builds inside

And when the rage becomes too much

Motherfucking throat-punch!

Get the fuck out of my way

It’s not your day

And I don’t fucking care what you have to say

Back off, bitch

Motherfucking throat-punch!

I’m sick of these fucks

Had it up to here with their games

Tired of their faces and all their ugly names

Motherfucking throat-punch!

 

Shaun’s voice was aggressive, but his tone was deep and rich, even with the room’s shitty acoustics. He stopped before he could finish the song and peeled his eyes open. Jesse began to clap and cheer from the sidelines and Shaun cringed. “Well?” he looked at Ben first.

Ben was grinning at him. “Two thumbs way up!”

Shaun glanced in Gretchen’s direction.

Gretchen spun her drumstick between her fingers. “Not bad. But you need rhythm.”

“No shit.” Shaun curled his lip.

“It was good,” Gretchen said. “I see potential.

Shaun swept his hair out of his face. “Okay?”

“The sound was next level,” Ben gushed. “I love that thing you did at the end, with—”

“I know what I did,” Shaun cut him off. “Thanks.”

“Try it again,” Gretchen said, turning back to her drums. “I’ll back you up.”

“I have other songs, too,” Shaun offered. “Want to hear another one?”

“Not yet.” Gretchen clicked her sticks together. “I want to work on this first. I already have some ideas.”

“I knew you’d be good, man.” Ben elbowed Shaun with a laugh.

“Play through the whole thing,” Gretchen said.

Shaun looked at Jesse again as he lifted his guitar. Jesse beamed with pride and Shaun smiled back with just the barest upturn of lips. He’d been right. Nobody hated Shaun’s music. In fact, Ben and Gretchen seemed excited to begin work…

“Hello!” Gretchen waved a hand in his face. “Earth to Shaun!”

Shaun slapped it away. “Don’t touch me!”

“I wasn’t trying to.” Gretchen gave him the finger. “I want to get started.”

“C’mon guys…” Ben groaned.

“Yeah, alright,” Shaun muttered. He glanced at Jesse one more time, then began to play.

Gretchen jumped in first. Then Ben. They played the song through a couple times then stopped to brainstorm. All three of them had a lot of ideas, but they gelled over the music. They played off each other. They didn’t clash. There was no arguing. It was like no practice Shaun had ever had before. Will had never asked his opinion. Shaun just gave it when he got sick of doing it Will’s way all the time.

“I like the pace you’re setting in the chorus,” Shaun said to Gretchen. “Maybe repeat that in the verse and then slow it down again in the outro.”

Gretchen nodded.

“From the top?” Ben asked.

Shaun opened and closed his hand a few times. It was swollen and cramped, but the pain was worth it. He met Gretchen’s gaze and signaled a countdown.

“Three, two, one!”

Shaun strummed his guitar as adrenaline coursed through his veins. The guitar moved under his fingertips like a living, breathing animal. His song was coming alive. He felt like he could accomplish anything he wanted.

They completed Throat-Punch in the next three hours. Gretchen and Ben listened to a few other of Shaun’s song ideas, but Ben kept mentioning food.

“What do you guys think?” Ben set his bass aside when Shaun stopped playing, then strode to the couch. “Pizza?”

“I want something with banana peppers.” Gretchen tossed her drumsticks, then followed Ben to the seating area and sat beside him. “And onions and mushrooms and spinach,” she continued as Ben pulled out his phone. She and Ben sat on the long section in front of the coffee table. There was a chaise lounge attached to the right end of the couch that was long enough to lay on.

“Eww. Get me a meat lover.” Shaun unstrapped his guitar and set it on top of his case. “Or I won’t eat it.”

Ben laughed and typed something into his phone. “One meat lover, one supreme…”

“No surprise you’re a meat lover,” Gretchen sneered, kicking her feet up on the coffee table. She grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, pulling up the movie guide as she got comfortable.

Shaun crossed his arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Gretchen ignored him. “I love watching TV at your place,” she said to Ben as she scrolled through a never-ending list of programing. “You’ve got like everything on-demand.”

“That’s Angela’s fault,” Ben said. “We had to upgrade because of all the shows she records.”

Shaun watched Gretchen with narrowed eyes as he walked to join the others on the couch. He had the distinctive feeling Gretchen knew his secret and that pissed him off. He stopped beside Jesse but continued to glare at the drummer.

Jesse had been sitting on the back of the couch for the past few hours, watching them play. He winced when he hopped down. “Ouch.” He rubbed his butt. “I shouldn’t have sat like that for so long.”

Gretchen looked over her shoulder with a knowing grin. “Aww, did you hurt your little butt?” she cackled. “What do you do again? I didn’t hear any cowbell,” she dead-panned.

Jesse snorted. “More cowbell?”

“What are you here for?” Gretchen asked. Her lips curled up at the corners as her gaze drifted to Shaun. “Are you his cheerleader?”

“We’re just friends,” Shaun hissed.

“From school.” Jesse ducked his head, so his auburn hair fell into his eyes and Shaun felt a twinge of guilt for making him hide. “I’m tagging along because I don’t do much of anything on my own.”

“Hmm.” Gretchen gave him a suspicious look, then turned away, back to the TV.

“I’m getting a pepperoni with extra cheese for me,” Ben said, looking up from his phone. “What do you want Jesse?”

“I don’t want a whole pizza to myself,” Jesse said with a laugh. “I’ll just have one slice of everybody else’s. That’s more than enough.”

Ben shrugged and looked back down at his phone. “Close to $60 with delivery,” he murmured.

Gretchen got up and went back to her drum kit. There was a little black purse under her stool, and she pulled some money out of the main pocket. “I’ll pay for half,” she said, selecting a couple bills that she brought back to the couch. She handed them to Ben with a smug look. “My budget’s usually pretty tight, but I did well last week on the cam site.”

Shaun pulled Jesse around the couch as Gretchen retook her seat beside Ben. He sat on the end of the chaise lounge and Jesse sank into the corner piece and leaned back with a contented sigh.

“Wow. I always have to pay for everything,” Ben said, tucking the money away with reverence.

“Since I quit working the restaurant, my allowance pays for the bills, and that just barely covers the house payment,” Gretchen said.

“Who pays you an allowance?” Shaun sneered. “And what’s a cam site?”

“Not that it’s any of your business.” Gretchen narrowed her eyes. “But I have a sugar daddy that pays for my company.”

“Oh, you’re a whore!” Shaun chuckled and Ben burst into laughter.

“What— Fuck you!” Gretchen squawked.

“Shaun…” Jesse knocked his knee into Shaun’s.

“What?” Shaun pulled his leg away. “Some guy pays her for sex. She’s a whore.”

“I’m not a whore,” Gretchen growled. “I choose whether or not there’s sex. That’s the difference. Virgil pays me for my company. Not my pussy.”

“So what’s a cam site?” Shaun asked and behind Gretchen, Ben shook with amusement.

“You’re going to love this,” he muttered, and Shaun quirked an eyebrow.

“Fuck that. I’m not telling this judgmental shithead anything else,” Gretchen said bitterly.

“I’ll just ask Jesse.” Shaun nodded at the redhead. “You might as well tell me yourself.”

“How do you not know what a cam site is?” Gretchen snapped. “Do you guys go to catholic school?”

Shaun made a face. “God no.”

“Ben!” Gretchen barked. “Where’s that beer you promised me?”

“Yes ma’am.” Ben leapt up and hurried into the back corner. “Coming right up!” The wet bar had a minifridge and Ben pulled a case of beer off the bottom shelf. There was another behind it and more individual cans above.

Shaun elbowed Jesse as Ben returned to the couch and tore open the box. Jesse looked up at him warily. “What’s a cam site?” Shaun asked.

Jesse sighed. “It’s a website where girls can make money taking their clothes off in front of their webcams.”

Shaun chuckled as his gaze swung back to Gretchen. She was taking a beer from Ben and she cracked it open and took a drink, willfully ignoring Shaun’s stare. “You sell your body online, too?” he asked loudly.

Gretchen turned back to him with a scowl. “You said you’re in high school?”

“For now,” Shaun said as he took a beer from Ben. Jesse took a can, as well, before Ben went back to his seat to enjoy one of his own.

“Oh?” Gretchen took another drink. “Are you graduating this year?”

“In a sense.” Shaun opened his beer and began to guzzle it down.

“Any ideas what you’ll do to support yourself once you get out?” Gretchen asked. “Besides shows, of course.”

Shaun frowned. This conversation? Jesse had mentioned getting a job the other day, but Shaun wouldn’t hear of it. He was starting a band. He wasn’t doing anything else. He angrily finished his beer and then crushed the can.

“Right,” Gretchen smirked. “That’s what I thought.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Shaun snapped.

“You don’t have to. You think you’ll write a couple songs, play some bars, and then snap.” Gretchen clicked her fingers together. “You’ll get discovered and make it big. Just like that.”

Shaun slumped back on the couch and fidgeted with the can in his lap. He didn’t know what to do with it.

“I hate to break it to you, but it’s going to be a struggle, kid.” The road to fame is long and full of potholes. Gretchen took a dainty drink of her beer. “Everyone thinks it happens overnight, but it doesn’t.”

“Your point?” Shaun grumbled.

“If you try to support yourself playing guitar then you’re going to be broke, hungry, and sleeping on couches,” Gretchen said. “I tried living that lifestyle for a couple months before I got a job.”

“Yeah. Alright,” Shaun scoffed.

“Don’t judge the way people make their money,” Gretchen said. “It’s none of your fucking business. I only told you because I’m not ashamed of who I am.”

Shaun couldn’t relate. Other than the music, he hated everything about himself.

“But I wouldn’t expect a pretty boy like you to understand—”

“Pretty boy?” Shaun barked a laugh.

Gretchen gave him a look. “Did I fucking offend you?”

“I’m not pretty!”

Gretchen snorted.

“You do look nice today, Shaun,” Jesse said in a little voice. He held out his unopened beer and traded it for Shaun’s old one.

“It’s the hair,” Ben spoke up. “You could be in a shampoo commercial right now, it’s so soft and shiny.”

“Jesus Christ,” Shaun muttered as his face started to burn. “I used some hair product and ran a comb through it. Big goddamn deal.”

“I don’t understand, did he get a celebrity makeover or something?”

The boys looked at Gretchen in confusion.

“His hair’s different today,” Ben said, then he took another look, giving Shaun a thorough up-and-down.

Shaun started to sweat.

“He’s wearing the same stuff though, so, no, I don’t think the Queer guys got a hold of him,” Ben said slowly, and Shaun relaxed.

Gretchen finished her drink with an indignant look on her face and Shaun followed her example. He opened his second can to get started while Gretchen found a scary ghost movie on TV.

They got through the first case while they waited for the food. Twenty minutes into the movie, there was a loud knock at the door, presumably Angela, and Ben ran upstairs to get the pizza. He returned with three boxes, a stack of paper plates, and a roll of paper towels. They laid everything out on the big coffee table and ate buffet style while the movie finished up.

“You guys were amazing to watch. You finished your first song today.” Jesse said around a bite of pepperoni pizza.

“I think we worked well together,” Ben said in agreement. He was already midway through his second slice and he used some of the paper towels to blot his greasy hands. “What do you think, Shaun?”

“I’m happy with what we came up with,” Shaun said casually.

“We are starting a band, right?” Gretchen asked. “That’s why we’re all here.”

“Well, yeah.” Ben said. “We’re seeing if this would be a good fit.”

“It’s a good fit.” Gretchen popped a mushroom in her mouth. “We just finished a song.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be in a band with a girl,” Shaun said bitterly, then took a large bite of his meat lover pizza.

“Christ, I hope that was a joke.” Gretchen curled her lip.

Shaun swallowed his bite. “Am I laughing?”

Gretchen and Shaun glared at each other for a long, awkward moment.

“She’s a huge improvement over Danny,” Ben said as he munched on the garlic-brushed crust. “Gotta admit that.”

Shaun shrugged and shoved his last bite into his mouth, then chased it down with his beer. He’d had enough pizza.

“Don’t listen to Shaun,” Jesse said in a stage whisper. “I think he’s excited.”

Shaun gave him the finger.

“What are you guys going to call yourselves?” Jesse asked.

“How about Livid Thorn, or…Terror Devil.” Ben scratched his head as he thought. “Oh! I know! Hell Plague!”

Shaun snorted. “I’m not fronting a band called Hell Plague.”

“I think it’s bad ass.” Ben shrugged.

“Nope. Just bad.”

“What do you got against girls anyway?” Gretchen snapped. “There’s a lot of really hard-core chicks on the metal scene, right now.”

“Name one.”

Gretchen named five, but Shaun’s expression didn’t change.

“Never heard of ‘em.”

Gretchen grabbed her beer off the coffee table and chugged it. “This beer isn’t working fast enough. Ben! You got any weed?”

Ben worried his lip. “Angela hates when I smoke down here.”

“You do have weed, don’t you?” Gretchen beamed. She pushed her pizza away and hopped back on the couch so she could tug on Ben’s t-shirt. “Get it out, fucker! I’ll take the blame if we get caught.”

“We will get caught,” Ben said gloomily. “She’s got the nose of a bloodhound.”

Gretchen giggled.

With a sigh, Ben set his food aside and opened the drawer under the coffee table. He pulled out a small wooden box and a crystal ashtray and set them on the coffee table. Jesse got up curiously to watch as Ben opened the box.

“Looks like quality bud,” he said.

“It is.” Ben pinched a large nugget from his stash and dropped it in the grinder. “See the crystals?”

“Cool.”

Ben ground up the weed and took out some rolling papers. Despite his reluctance, he made two blunts in a matter of minutes and passed the first to Gretchen and the second to Jesse.

Jesse brought the blunt back to the chaise and sat beside Shaun. He took a hit, then passed it to Shaun with a little smile.

Shaun blazed up. It was strong shit, and he struggled not to choke. He felt the effects almost immediately, however, and he nodded with satisfaction. “Where do you buy?”

“There’s a girl down the street that sells,” Ben said. “Shit, I’d better turn the air purifier on.” He got off the couch and went to mess with a little fan device in the corner. The power button flashed blue and with a whirl, it began to oscillate.

“I’ve got a little money at home,” Shaun said slowly as he passed the blunt back to Jesse. “Maybe I can get some off you next time?”

“Sure.” Ben came back to the couch for his third slice of pizza. “I think we should start on another song. It’s not even 8 yet. Angela won’t try to kick you guys out until 10.”

Shaun nodded slowly. He’d been hoping they’d be able to stay the night, but then remembered Ben mentioning something about a florist Sunday morning. He looked down at Jesse as an idea popped into his head. He nudged him in the side, then leaned in to whisper in his ear. “We need to convince Ben we’re too wasted to drive home.”

Jesse smiled up at him conspiratorially, then released a thin column of smoke that swirled lazily around them.

Shaun leaned back as the urge to touch Jesse’s face tried to overpower him and balled his hands into fists.

Gretchen eyed both him and Jesse with a faint smile teasing her black lips and Shaun stiffened, wondering if he’d done anything to give himself away. Gretchen handed her burning roach to Ben, who took it awkwardly, as he finished his last bite. “Ben told me you guys were an item,” she said casually. “So you can cut the act. I know you guys want to cuddle.”

Shaun’s eyes bugged out of his head. “I don’t cuddle.”

“Sorry, dude.” Ben let out an inelegant bluster of smoke. “It must have been the first words out of my mouth. ‘Hey, my bandmate just got outted and we’re looking to start a new band’.”

Shaun dropped his face into his hands with a groan. “Has anyone ever heard of a private life?”

“You can’t have a private life when you’re in a band,” Gretchen scoffed. “You’ve never heard of a girl drummer? Well, I’ve never heard of a gay frontman. We’re going to tear up the whole world, Pretty Boy.”

“Don’t call me that,” Shaun growled.

“Pretty Boy? I like it. I think it fits,” Gretchen chuckled.

Shaun gulped the rest of his beer in one go. “Are we out of booze yet?”

“There’s a second case in the minifridge,” Ben said, and Shaun stood up.

“Don’t overdo it, Pretty Boy,” Gretchen jeered, but Shaun ignored her and strode to the minibar.

“Look at these two,” Ben said to Jesse, gesturing between the guitarist and the drummer at his side. “Gretchen was the first person that came to mind when I thought about starting a band. Next to Shaun, she’s the second crabbiest person I know.”

Jesse giggled.

“The second?” Gretchen sneered. “Fuck you, Ben.”

Once Ben finished eating, the three of them went back to practice. The smoking and the drinking continued, and Jesse made himself useful, bringing refills on beer and passing the ashtray. Shaun saw him having his fair share of alcohol while he watched from the couch, and when Jesse brought him another beer, he noticed the intoxicated flush in his cheeks and the glassy sheen on his blue eyes.

The basement door crashed open. “Ben! Are you smoking down there again?!” Angela hollered from the top of the stairs.

“Shit!” Ben set his bass aside and lurched around the couch. Jesse sat up dazedly and watched as Ben swept the drug paraphernalia into the coffee table drawer.

“You are smoking.” Angela stopped on the first landing and glared down at her sister, leisurely smoking a roach behind the drum kit. Ben must not have noticed. Angela had soft, strawberry blonde hair and a sweet, heart-shaped face. Unlike Gretchen, she had curves and while she wasn’t necessarily fat, she wasn’t thin either. She wrinkled her nose in disgust and suddenly, she looked a lot like Miss Piggy. She turned and stomped angrily down remaining stairs as Gretchen blew out her smoke, totally unfazed.

“I can’t believe you, Gretchen,” Angela said when she reached the bottom of the stairs. “In my house?”

“I’m allowed, Angie,” Gretchen drawled. “I asked your fiancé. I’m not your guest”

Angela turned to Ben, cowering behind the couch, and her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Practice is over.”

“Practice is over,” Ben repeated in a little voice.

“You’re going to wrap this up, finish your pizza, then send everyone home,” Angela said. “Got it?”

“Yes.”

“We’re meeting Fritz at the florists in the morning,” Angela crossed her arms. “It’s a quarter to 10 and you’re drunk.”

“No, I’m not,” Ben whined.

“You have one more hour,” Angela said firmly.

“One hour,” Ben said meekly. “Okay.”

“I can’t believe I said you could do this,” Angela muttered to herself, then her gaze snapped back to Gretchen. “And you,” she said. “Your crappy Jeep is leaking oil in my driveway.”

Gretchen stuck out her tongue. “I rusted my oil pan just for you.”

Angela shook her head and headed back upstairs.

“Wow. What a cunt,” Shaun said into the sudden silence.

Gretchen laughed. “Something we agree on. I despise my sister.”

“Alright,” Ben slumped back on the couch. “I know she’s a handful—”

“A handful?” Gretchen spat. “What the hell, Ben? You sound like her puppet. It’s even worse than I thought. She commands you like a dog.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fuck, guys, it’s too late. He’s brainwashed,” Gretchen drawled.

Jesse nodded. He looked concerned, too “That’s your fiancé?”

Ben sighed. “I mentioned she was stressed over the wedding—”

“That goes beyond stressed,” Shaun sneered, then set his guitar down. He snatched the blunt from Gretchen. “That cunt isn’t telling me what to do,” he said, then took an aggressive pull on the roach.

“So what if you have a hangover on Sunday morning?” Gretchen said in agreement. “She can pick out flowers on her own. If I know my sister, she won’t ask for your opinion anyway.”

Ben sighed.

“My mom’s like that,” Jesse said softly. “Controlling.”

“Fuck her,” Gretchen stood up from her drum kit, hands on her hips. “I’ve already got a hangover coming on. If I wake up drunk tomorrow, then I won’t feel it.”

Ben covered his face. “You guys are going to get me in so much trouble.”

“Where’s the liquor.” Gretchen started for the wet bar. “That bitch said we had an hour. We’re doing shots.”

Ben groaned.

They cleared the pizza boxes away and did shots on the coffee table. Once they’d finished the whisky, they moved on to Ben’s rum. Shaun had never had it before, but it certainly did the job. His determination remained the same. He wanted to be sober enough to fuck, but too drunk to drive. Jesse had slowed down, but he was definitely inebriated. He ran upstairs to use the bathroom every ten minutes and each time he did, he stumbled and tripped over his feet.

Jesse was taking another bathroom break and Shaun, Ben, and Gretchen sat around the coffee table amidst beer cans, sticky glasses, and leftover pizza as they waited for him to return.

“So, when are we meeting up next?” Gretchen was smoking a cigarette she’d produced from her purse and she held it gingerly between her first two fingers. “I’m free Tuesday.”

“Let’s shoot for five,” Shaun said.

“That works,” Ben said. “Then I can change really quick after work.”

“We’re practicing here?” Gretchen wrinkled her nose. “My sister will blow her top.”

“Unless your offering your place,” Ben said, then his expression brightened. “You have a really nice set up in your garage, don’t you?”

“I’m sick of garages,” Shaun groaned. “This place is pretty nice.”

“I’m not sure I’m willing to share my space with that stuck-up brat.” Gretchen jerked a thumb in Shaun’s direction. “Maybe once he proves he isn’t a total ass."

“Stuck-up?” Shaun snorted with amusement.

“I’ll talk to Angela when she’s in a better mood,” Ben said in a serious voice. “This isn’t a bad space to practice. I don’t see why we can’t utilize it.”

“Because we’re obnoxious.” Gretchen blew smoke at the group. “It’s what she said when I had a garage band in high school. I fucking hate her.”

“Yeah. We know.” Ben rubbed his face. “I shouldn’t have drank so much. Fuck.”

Gretchen snickered.

“I don’t know if I can drive,” Shaun blurted.

Gretchen stopped laughing.

“Please,” Ben groaned. “Don’t say that.”

“Get him an Uber,” Gretchen said. “Fucking lightweight.”

“I can’t leave my car here,” Shaun grumbled. “I won’t be able to pick it up.”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow— Ah, shit.” Ben facepalmed. “I don’t even know when I’ll have the time. Can you wait until Tuesday?”

“No.”

Ben sighed. “Are you sure you can’t—”

“Drive when I’m seeing double?”

“Fuck.”

The basement door opened, and Jesse’s cheerful voice floated down the stairwell. “Hey! Guys!”

“Shhh!” Ben hissed. “Come down!” He pressed his fingers into his eyes. “Angie must have fallen asleep. I don’t know why—”

Jesse and Angela appeared at the bottom of the stairs and Ben zipped his lips shut. Gretchen started to snicker again.

“Still partying, I see,” Angela said, her voice tight.

“Angela wanted to say hi,” Jesse said with a grin. “She’s not so bad, Gretchen. She’s letting us stay the night!”

“What?” Ben gaped at his fiancé. “Seriously?”

Angela briefly closed her eyes. “What kind of monster do you think I am? Sending these kids out on the road would be murder.”

Ben smiled. “Angie…”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Angela snapped. “I told you to wrap it up an hour ago. Now we’re hosting a slumber party.”

“Ang—”

“Zzz!” Angela held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear it.”

Ben shut his mouth.

Angela spoke to Gretchen next, but continued to glare at Ben as she did. “You’re free to use the guest room, Gretch. The boys are sleeping downstairs.”

“Naw, I’m gonna bounce,” Gretchen said easily, then smashed the butt of her cigarette in the ashtray and got up. “Some of us are adults and can handle a little liquor.”

Shaun gave her double middle fingers.

“Hope you don’t mind, but I’m leaving my stuff here,” Gretchen said casually. She grabbed her purse and her phone, then floated to the stairs. “See you guys on Tuesday. Bye!”

“What an enormous mess,” Angela tisked as she surveyed the room, then she shook her head. “I expect this to be cleaned up within twenty-four hours. And all of us will be leaving the house promptly at 8:15 tomorrow morning, so the three of you had better get some rest.”

“Angela… I’m sorry.”

Angela turned her back on the room and marched up the stairs. The door slammed behind her.

“Guess I’m sleeping on the couch.” Ben ruffled a hand through his hair. “Let me get you guys some pillows and blankets.”

Shaun felt kind of bad, but then again, he had a feeling Ben would be in the doghouse even if he and Jesse weren’t staying the night.

Ben paused at the bottom of the stairs. “Oh, and there’s a pull-out under the chaise,” he said. “There’s a release on the end cushion.”

Shaun’s eyebrows climbed into his hairline as Ben smiled shrewdly, then he turned and jogged up the steps.

“What does he mean?” Jesse staggered to the edge of the couch and fell heavily onto the cushions. “Pull-out?”

Shaun went to investigate. He lifted the cushion at the end of the chaise and found a tether pull. He tugged on it and a drawer pulled out from underneath. Once he rearranged the pillows, the chaise stretched into a full-sized bed!

Jesse pressed himself flush to Shaun’s back and wrapped his arms around his waist. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“What are you thinking?” Shaun asked with a laugh.

Jesse pulled something out of his back pocket and Shaun had to look over his shoulder to see. He did a double take.

“Where the fuck did you get that?”

“Upstairs,” Jesse giggled. “In the master bathroom.” He held a brand-new bottle of KY Jelly. “Angela found me rooting around her bathroom. I acted the part and convinced her I was so drunk I couldn’t remember where I was.”

Shaun chuckled darkly. “And what are we going to do with that?”

Jesse peeked at Shaun from under his long, beautiful lashes. “I was hoping you’d fuck me.”

Shaun’s cock started to stiffen.

“I’ve been thinking about it all day,” Jesse said, his cheeks turning a lovely red.

“Okay, blankets, two pillows,” Ben’s voice came from the stairwell and Jesse stepped back. “The bathroom’s right upstairs, the door across the hall. Oh, and I brought some waters down, too. To help you guys sober up.” Ben stopped at the bottom of the steps with a bundle of bedding in his arms. “Anything else?”

Shaun strode across the room to take the armload from him. “Thanks,” he said briskly. “I think we’ll be alright.”

“I hope so.” Ben laughed, then he clasped Shaun’s shoulder and squeezed. “You did good tonight, man. I’m proud of you.”

Shaun flushed. “Thanks.”

“Get some sleep, guys. Morning will come sooner than you think.” Ben waggled his eyebrows. “I’ll be upstairs if you need anything,” he said as he turned for the stairs. “Sleeping on the couch. Again.”

Shaun waited for the door to shut behind him, then he tossed the blankets and pillows on the couch. Two bottles of water fell from the pile and rolled in tandem under the coffee table.

Jesse took a step toward him. “I really liked watching you play today.” His pretty eyes glittered with mirth. “I wanted to run my hands all over your body—”

“Come over here.” Shaun hooked a finger.

“I’m scared,” Jesse stopped just in front of him. “I feel like you’re never going to have time to see me.” The amusement faded from his gaze, but his eyes continued to sparkle with intensity. “You’re always busy with the music now and I’m always with the kids…”

“We’re together now, aren’t we?” Shaun grabbed Jesse’s hips and pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around his slender body and squeezed the air out of him. “Besides, if you’re going to start letting me fuck you, I’ll probably be over every day.”

Jesse gasped, but he clung for all he was worth as he buried his face in Shaun’s chest.

“Mom’s going on a date tonight,” he whispered. “It’s official. Did I tell you?”

Shaun rubbed his back soothingly.

“Our fucking days in this town are numbered,” Jesse sniffled. “I didn’t even realize it, but…I’m so fucking sick of moving. I’m sick of never having a choice.”

Shaun swept Jesse off his feet and carried him to the pull-out. He laid him down gently and saw he had tears in his eyes and that his face was beautifully flushed. Shaun brushed a strand of auburn hair out of his eyes as he gazed into the most beautiful face he’d ever seen.

“I love you, Shaun,” Jesse said softly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Shaun stared deeply into Jesse’s glittering blue eyes and spoke before he could stop himself. “I love you, too,” he said, and Jesse’s eyes widened. “We’ll work something out. Nobody’s going to separate us, Jesse. You’re mine.”

Jesse smiled hugely. He sobbed and the tears began to fall.

“What?” Shaun cupped Jesse’s cheek.

Jesse’s lip quivered, then he laughed. “I’m happy.”

Shaun leered at him. “I bet you’d be a lot happier with my dick in your mouth.”

“Mmm, let’s find out,” Jesse smiled.

Shaun stood up and unzipped his jeans. He pulled his cock out and fisted the length at the base as Jesse sat up and slid to the edge of the couch. Shaun was rock hard and the shaft pulsed under his fingers.

Jesse met Shaun’s eyes as he parted his lips and took him into his mouth.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous when you do that,” Shaun hissed.

“Mmm.”

Jesse eagerly sucked his cock, and it was truly a beautiful sight to behold. His pink lips stretched obscenely around the thick shaft as he bobbed his head up and down.

Shaun carded a hand through Jesse’s hair and pushed it out of his face so he could see. Jesse looked up into his eyes and Shaun groaned deep in his throat as Jesse slurped around his bulging shaft.

Jesse used his hand to control the pace and Shaun indulged him for a couple minutes, enjoying the view as he made tender love to his cock. He knew Jesse struggled to take the full length of his erection, but he always tried to push him a little and he wanted to do it now. He liked it when Jesse gagged on his dick. It was hot.

Shaun gripped Jesse’s face and thrust his hips. He growled when he felt his cock slip deeper into Jesse’s throat. He did it several times more and Jesse held onto Shaun’s legs and moaned like a whore. He submitted and allowed Shaun to fuck his throat as his eyes watered with strain.

Shaun could see the outline of his erection. The rough treatment was getting him off and it made his cock lurch with excitement. With a groan, he pulled his cock out of Jesse’s mouth because he wasn’t going to last much longer if he kept sucking like that. “Are you ready to get fucked?”

Jesse licked his pretty lips. “I’m ready.”

“Get naked for me,” Shaun said as his cock pulsed with need between his thighs.

Jesse whipped his shirt over his head and stood up to undo his jeans. Their eyes met as Jesse shimmied out of his underthings and Shaun caught his chin with a finger and drew him in for a kiss.

Time slowed as their tongues met and Shaun aggressively pressed his lips against Jesse’s. He wanted to take ownership of the boy trembling against him and he held Jesse’s face firmly between his large hands as he plundered his mouth.

They fell onto the couch and Shaun rolled on top of Jesse and straddled his hips. Jesse was naked underneath him and his flawless skin looked soft and inviting. Shaun lowered his head and licked his throat.

Jesse gasped and slid his fingers into Shaun’s hair. He held onto Shaun as he pressed his lips against his chest and sucked his brown, pebbled nipple between his lips. He moaned and arched his chest into Shaun’s hot mouth.

Shaun could feel Jesse’s hard cock against his stomach, and he grasped it firmly as he trailed gentle, sucking kisses down Jesse’s beautiful body. He stroked him slowly, teasing him, prolonging the pleasure because he wanted Jesse to come on his dick.

He dipped his tongue into Jesse’s belly button and Jesse gasped and then giggled delightedly, all in the same breath. Shaun grinned wickedly and slid off the couch, then he grasped Jesse’s naked hips and yanked him to the edge.

Jesse whined at the manhandling but allowed Shaun to push his legs back until his knees rested against his chest. His cock and balls flopped back against his tummy and his asscheeks spread wide. He had wispy, strawberry-blond hair on his balls and between his cheeks. It was almost nonexistent, but Shaun’s focus was on Jesse’s asshole.

Shaun gazed at the tiny, wrinkled mouth in amazement. It was a soft pinkish-brown. It was beautiful, and as he watched, Jesse clenched the little hole and it squeezed shut, and then winked open again for just a second. Shaun groaned as he glimpsed the inside of Jesse’s virgin love-tunnel.

“Shaun…” Jesse moaned, his face bright red. “The lube’s on the floor.”

“I’m just looking,” Shaun muttered, but then stood up to kick off his boots and shuck the jeans. He reached for the lube, unscrewed the lid, then ripped off the protective seal with his teeth.

“You have to use your fingers first.” Jesse sat up and looked down the length of his naked body. His cock twitched and he fell back against his belly and Jesse let out a helpless groan. “You… have to stretch me out. I— I’ve never done this before.”

“I know,” Shaun flushed as he squeezed an insane amount of KY on his first two fingers. He was surprised by the slickness and he wiped some on his t-shirt, then ripped that off, too, and tossed it with his other things. He rubbed the jelly between his fingers, and he knelt between Jesse’s thighs. He used Vaseline sometimes, but this stuff was better.

Shaun gazed at Jesse’s nervously clenching hole. He couldn’t believe he was going to put his cock in there. He pressed one slippery finger against the hungry little mouth and pushed. Jesse’s hole quivered and slowly, Shaun sank inside him.

Jesse gasped as his hole clenched around Shaun’s finger.

“You’re really tight,” Shaun said casually.

“Yeah. I know,” Jesse groaned, and his face screwed up with discomfort. “Go slow.”

“I wasn’t going fast,” Shaun muttered, but he pushed his finger until it was all the way inside and marveled at the sensation of Jesse’s asshole spasming around him.

Shaun slid his finger in and out as Jesse’s anal muscles rhythmically worked his finger. Shaun’s naked cock throbbed between his thighs. He wanted to fuck.

“Okay…” Jesse moaned and clenched his teeth. “I’m ready.”

Shaun started to pull his finger out.

“No,” Jesse said quickly. “I’m ready for another finger.”

Shaun swallowed. He was going to bust his load if he wasn’t careful. He licked his lips and tried to concentrate. Sweat beaded along his hairline as he pushed his second finger into Jesse’s hole.

Jesse moaned as he was stretched even wider and he wiggled on Shaun’s hand as his fingers slid deep inside him. His hard cock leaked on his stomach and when Shaun moved his fingers in and out a few times more, it twitched crazily with arousal.

“Fuck this. You’re ready.” Shaun drew his fingers out of Jesse’s hole and stood up. He poured a good amount of lube into his palm, slicked up his cock and his eyes fell shut with pleasure. He rested a knee on the edge of the couch and positioned his wet cockhead against Jesse’s little pink butthole. It gaped open just the slightest bit after the fingering. It was waiting for Shaun’s cock.

Jesse blinked up at him nervously. “Please go slow.”

“I don’t go slow.” Shaun bared his teeth. He let go of his cock and grabbed the back of the couch as he pushed his big, red cockhead into Jesse’s body.

Jesse hissed and wrapped his arms around his knees. “That stings,” he whispered.

Shaun pushed a bit deeper and groaned as the tip of his cock was engulfed in incredible pressure and heat.

“Ow, ow, ow,” Jesse moaned pitifully. His asshole was clenching like crazy around Shaun’s dick.

“Relax.” Shaun bit the inside of his mouth as hard as he could, concentrating on the unpleasant sensation, because he didn’t want to come yet, but fuck, he was so damned close… “Try to relax. Christ, Jesse…”

“I can’t stand it,” Jesse whined. “Ow…Shaun, it hurts. Take it out.”

Shaun grunted and his hips lurched forward against his will. His cock slid deeper into the tight, warm, heat and he cried out. “I— I can’t!” He pulled out a bit, but that felt good, too, and he thrust his cock back into Jesse’s hole and grunted. “Fuck...fuck...I can’t stop.” He frantically fucked the first half of his cock in and out of Jesse’s quivering hole.

Jesse covered his face and cried into his hands. His legs wrapped around Shaun’s waist and he gripped him with an insistent pressure.

“Shit! I’m sorry!” Shaun gripped the back of the couch in a death grip and ground his teeth together as his cock erupted. “Jesus...fuck!” Semen shot into Jesse’s rectum in long, ropy strands.

Jesse had his hands over his eyes, as tears trailed down his cheeks.

Shaun pulled his limp cock from Jesse’s asshole. “Way to go,” he muttered to himself as he rolled off and curled up the narrow edge of the chaise. “Jesse… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay.” Jesse’s hands fell away and he smiled at him tearfully. “Was that your first time?”

Shaun blushed bright red and he averted his eyes. “Second.”

“Who was your first?” Jesse sat up as his brows knitted together.

Shaun sat up too and looked for something to clean his dick off with. He wasn’t comfortable being naked and he had an itching need to get dressed.

“Shaun?”

“Some girl,” Shaun grumbled. “I never knew her name.”

Jesse quirked an eyebrow.

Shaun saw some napkins under the abandoned pizza boxes, and he got up to retrieve them. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jesse.”

“Okay.” Jesse held up his hands. “Sorry for asking. I’m just curious.”

“There’s nothing to be curious about. It was some girl Will and Danny picked up.” Shaun used the napkins aggressively on his wet dick, then quickly pulled his clothes on. “I hated every moment of it,” he grumbled as he strode back to the couch and thrust a handful of napkins at Jesse.

Shyly, Jesse reached behind himself to clean his asshole and Shaun watched him raptly. He couldn’t wait to fuck him again. His asshole was luxurious. He sat beside Jesse and put a hand on his knee. Jesse was in no apparent rush to get dressed. He leaned into Shaun’s side and slid an arm around his waist.

They sat like that for a little while, then Shaun realized Jesse was fast asleep.

Gently, Shaun positioned the other boy on his side, then curled up and wrapped him in his arms. Jesse stirred, but then snuggled further into Shaun’s arms.

“Cold…” he murmured.

Shaun reached behind them and grabbed the blanket off the couch. He threw it over Jesse, then kissed him on the cheek. “Go to sleep.”

Jesse snugged in and did exactly that. His mouth fell open just a touch and his breathing got deep and even.

Shaun watched him until his eyelids got heavy, then, he too surrendered to the pull of sleep and fell into the blackness.

***

“Shaun…Shaun! Wake up!”

Shaun sat up in a panic, then clutched his head. “Ow!” It was pounding hardcore. He searched the room through narrowed eyes and spotted Ben with his eyes shielded by their instruments. The memories from the night before came back in a rush. He’d fucked Jesse…and he’d told him he loved him… Shit.

“I have clothes on, asshole,” Shaun snapped.

“He doesn’t.” Ben poked an accusatory finger in Jesse’s direction and Shaun lowered his gaze.

Jesse was curled up on the couch with a line of drool trailing from the corner of his rosy lips. He was naked as a jaybird. The blanket had fallen to the floor in the night and Shaun grabbed it off the floor to cover his naked ass.

Jesse blinked his eyes open lazily. “Oh, hey, Ben.”

“Yeah. Hey. Good morning.” Ben smiled tightly. “I figured you guys would do the nasty last night. I tried to keep Angela from coming down here, but she thought she’d wake you up and get you out of the house while I was still in the shower. She about had a stroke when she saw your naked ass.”

Jesse flushed a delicate pink.

Ben looked pleadingly at Shaun. “Dude, it’s almost 8:30. You have to go. Angie is having a conniption up in the bedroom.” His face was deadly serious. “She’s tearing her hair out.”

Shaun sighed. “Can you give us like, five minutes?”

Ben pressed his lips together.

“Three minutes,” Shaun amended.

“I’ve gotta go see if she’s alright.” Ben spun for the stairs.

Shaun shook his head as Ben tripped up the staircase. “Poor fucker.”

“Yeah.” Jesse pushed the blankets aside. “We’d better get out of here.”

Shaun agreed and left Jesse to get dressed and went to break down his equipment.

They were out of the basement in three minutes. Nothing had been cleaned, but Shaun was counting the seconds in his head. As they headed out, the sounds of hysterical crying floated from the second level of the house and Shaun and Jesse shared a look.

“Bye, Ben! Thanks for letting us crash!” Jesse called up the stairs.

“Uh…Okay! Bye!” Ben called back and the hysterical crying grew much louder.

Shaun and Jesse scurried out the door. Shaun carried both the amp and the guitar case and Jesse hurried to the car and opened the back door.

“Thanks,” Shaun muttered.

Jesse smiled, then climbed in the passenger seat to wait.

On the drive back, Jesse started with his head on Shaun’s shoulder, but he didn’t last like that for long. He moved to rest against the window next. Then he shifted to the edge of the seat and sat up straight. He leaned back and pulled his legs under him. He sat like that for a while, but he didn’t look comfortable.

Shaun snorted as it occurred to him. “You’re ass hurts. Doesn’t it?”

“It’s like someone rammed a broom up my butt,” Jesse said darkly. “I wonder why?”

Shaun chuckled.

Jesse changed positions for the hundredth time with a huff. He sat on his hips, curled his legs behind his butt, then sighed contentedly. “That’s better.”

They got home in record time. Shaun hadn’t slept well, and his head pounded dully from the booze. He pulled in his driveway without thinking.

“Can I come in?” Jesse pressed his hands together earnestly. “Please?”

Shaun looked at the house. It was Sunday. Eli and Ruth would be going to church soon enough. Maybe they’d have the house to themselves for a while.

“Okay,” he said.

“Yes!” Jesse leaned across the seat and kissed Shaun passionately.

“Wait here.” Shaun cut the engine and got out to grab his equipment. He took everything to the garage and once everything was put away, Shaun led Jesse inside.

Eli was at the kitchen table with the paper and a cup of coffee. He looked up as Shaun and Jesse came in the room.

“What are you doing home so early?” He wore a nice shirt and black slacks. His thinning gray hair was neatly combed. He peered curiously at the two rumpled teenagers.

“We got kicked out of the house,” Shaun said. “Are you going to church?”

“Yes. We’ve got service and then I’m dropping Ruthie at her knitting group.”

Ruth spent a couple hours a week with the group. Sometimes she stayed until dinner.

Shaun smiled. “Cool.” He looked at Eli’s coffee as he considered what they were going to do until the grandparents left, then he took Jesse’s arm. “We’ll be in my room.”

Ruth was in the bathroom at the end of the hall getting ready. The sink was running, so it was easy enough to sneak past. They slipped into Shaun’s room and quietly shut the door.

Jesse threw himself across the bed. “When they leave, can we take a shower?”

“I guess,” Shaun said. “What are you going to put on?”

“I’ll borrow something of yours,” Jesse said easily.

Shaun laughed. “I don’t think we’re the same size.”

“Don’t you have anything stretchy? Sweats or something?”

Shaun folded his arms.

“Oookay. Nevermind.” Jesse kicked his shoes off. “I’m taking a nap.”

Shaun rolled his eyes. “That won’t be weird or anything.”

“Keep a lookout.” Jesse flipped on his back and stretched out his legs. “Wake me up if your grandma comes to the door.”

Shaun huffed.

“Or you could just get in bed with me.”

Shaun snorted. “Yeah right.”

“Suit yourself.” Jesse curled up on top of the blankets and settled in. Within moments, he was asleep, and Shaun glared at him. He envied his easy slumber.

Shaun didn’t know what to do and he sat stiffly on the floor in front of his closed bedroom door. He figured he would keep a lookout, because he had no idea how he’d explain Jesse in his bed.

Shaun’s mind ran in a thousand different directions as he sat waiting. He thought about the sex last night and he wasn’t proud of himself. I love you, too, Shaun had said the night before. What a joke, he thought. He had totally failed Jesse last night. He wanted to inflict pain on Jesse’s body, but not against his will.

He got up and fetched his father’s hunting knife from his bedside drawer. He stood over Jesse for a moment, looking down at him as he cradled the knife in his hand.

Jesse was so damned gorgeous. His face was peaceful in his sleep and it glowed with an innate joy. He was such a happy, beautiful person.

Shaun went back to the door and slid to the floor with a thunk. He held the knife gingerly in his right hand as he studied the gleaming length. A voice in his head told him to drive the tip into his flesh. To draw blood. But Shaun wouldn’t listen. He couldn’t do it. He looked up and gazed longingly at the boy on his bed. He didn’t want Jesse to see him bleed…

Shaun pressed his calloused thumb against the blade and ran it slowly along the sharp edge, but he couldn’t bring himself to break the skin.

There was a sudden knock at the door and Shaun’s hand slipped. He nearly sliced his thumb off. “What?” He looked down as a stinging pain radiated from his thumb. The fingers was still attached, but there was blood at the very tip.

“We’re leaving.” It was Eli and Shaun stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked the blood off. “We’ll be back around three,” he continued.

“Bye.”

“See you boys later.”

Shaun waited tensely to hear the front door slamming and after a couple minutes, he heard it shut with a bang and he relaxed. He waited a little longer, just to be sure they were gone, then he got up and returned the knife to his bedside drawer.

“Jesse.”

Jesse wasn’t faking. He was very much asleep.

Shaun crawled on top of Jesse and kissed him softly on the lips.

Jesse stirred and opened his gorgeous blue eyes. “Mmm, baby…”

“They’re gone.” Shaun pushed his tongue into Jesse’s mouth.

“Mmpf…mmm,” Jesse murmured into Shaun’s open mouth. Shaun pulled back with a snort and Jesse tried again. “Can I take that shower now?

“Sure.” Shaun nipped Jesse’s lower lip. “Once I’m done fucking you.”

“My butt really hurts,” Jesse whined.

“My cock will make it better,” Shaun said crudely. “Did you bring the lube with you?”

“Of course,” Jesse said. “I tossed it in the back. Didn’t you see it?”

“Did you bring it in?”

Jesse slowly shook his head.

“Fucking perfect place for it,” Shaun sighed. “What if my grandma finds it?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

“Fuck.” Well, that changed things a little. Shaun rolled off the bed. “Don’t move.” He dashed to the bathroom and grabbed the well-used tube of Vaseline. It was better than nothing…

When he returned, Jesse was naked on the bed.

“I told you not to move,” Shaun said.

“Well, I figured I’d get the clothes part out of the way.” Jesse smiled nervously. “I’m a little scared.”

Shaun took a deep breath. “I know. But I won’t hurt you like that again. I promise.”

Jesse shyly spread his legs. His cock was flaccid, and it rested peacefully against his inner thigh. “I trust you.”

Shaun ripped his t-shirt over his head, then unzipped his fly and stepped out of his jeans. Jesse watched him strip with interest, and once he was naked, Shaun tossed the Vaseline on the bed and let him look. He’d never let himself be this exposed in front of someone else, but he felt connected to the other boy. Jesse loved him and trusted him with everything he was, and Shaun was slowly beginning to reciprocate.

He walked to the bed, his cock swinging heavily between his legs.

Jesse’s eyes followed the movement.

“Get on your knees.” Shaun towered over Jesse’s little body and a tendril of pleasure curled in his belly as he gazed down at him.

Jesse got on his knees in the middle of the bed, then looked questioningly up at Shaun.

“Turn around, idiot,” Shaun snorted. He waited for Jesse to flip around, then grabbed his hips and pulled him until his knees rested on the very edge of the mattress. His cock lined up perfectly with Jesse’s ass and he smiled wickedly.

“I think maybe if you scissor your fingers…” Jesse held his first two fingers together and then opened and closed them rapidly, like scissors. “Maybe not that fast, but… you know.”

Shaun ignored him. He had another idea. He crouched down so Jesse’s ass was in his face, then took a plump cheek in each hand and spread them wide.

“Oh god.” Jesse buried his face in the sheets. “I didn’t get a shower yet.”

“So?” Jesse’s hole was puckered and wet. There wasn’t any blood, but it was swollen and obviously very sore. Shaun stretched his asshole open and Jesse groaned with discomfort. “Wow.” The inside of Jesse’s rectum was flame-red.

“It hurts.” Jesse trembled and pushed his face into the mattress.

Shaun felt terrible and he kissed Jesse’s tender hole.

Jesse gasped and squirmed away. “I’m not clean!”

“I don’t care.” Shaun plunged his tongue into Jesse’s clenching asshole. The taste was deep and earthy and Shaun pressed his nose into Jesse’s crack as he pushed his tongue deeper.

“Ah! Omigod!” Jesse pushed his butt into Shaun’s face and his balls brushed against his chin. It was incredibly gay, but Shaun liked it.

He liked the taste. He loved the way Jesse was reacting. He reached between Jesse’s legs and grabbed his cock and it jumped against his palm and immediately began to harden. Shaun stroked Jesse’s cock and tongue-fucked his hole until Jesse wailed and sprayed his seed across the sheets.

Jesse collapsed on the bed with his butt high in the air. “That felt so...weird.”

Shaun stood up, his cock pulsing with need. He grabbed the Vaseline and smeared some on his fingertips.

“Oooh!” Jesse pushed himself up on his elbows as Shaun slipped two fingers in his ass.

Shaun scissored his fingers like Jesse had suggested. It made the other boy grunt and fist his hands in the sheets. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes,” Jesse hissed. “I told you it hurt before. My ass’s on fire now.”

Shaun frowned as he pushed his fingers as deep as they’d go and stretched them apart. He could see into Jesse’s rectum. It was weirdly hot. “Do you want me to stop?”

Jesse considered for a long moment. “Please. Just go slow.”

Shaun’s face burned. “Alright.” He stretched Jesse’s hole for another couple seconds.

“Okay,” Jesse said. “Put it in.”

Shaun pulled his fingers out and quickly coated his straining member with the Vaseline. His cockhead was so much bigger than Jesse’s tiny hole. He pressed the red, angry tip against Jesse’s anus and slid inside.

“Ah!” Jesse cried out. “Slow!”

“I am going slow.” Shaun grit his teeth and forced himself to stop. The very tip of his cock was inside Jesse and the little hole clenched Shaun’s knob like a vise.

“Okay, keep going,” Jesse hissed.

Shaun forced another couple inches in.

“Stop!”

Shaun grabbed Jesse’s hips. “Fuck!” Jesse was so, so tight. He dug his short fingernails into Jesse’s soft skin as he began to sweat.

“Okay,” Jesse whined. “Keep going.”

It went like that until Shaun bottomed out and his furry balls nestled against Jesse’s. He groaned deep in his throat. Jesse’s asshole fit his cock like a glove.

Jesse moaned softly as his asshole spasmed around Shaun’s cock. “You can move,” he whispered. “Just...slowly.”

Shaun pulled out a few inches, then slowly slid back in. He fucked Jesse carefully. In and out. Shaun grunted and dripped sweat along Jesse’s back. He was desperate to piston his hips like crazy until he came. Jesse’s body was so hot and tight. He was struggling to control himself.

“It stings,” Jesse dropped his head and his shoulders shook. “Shit…”

Shaun let go of Jesse’s hips and reached around for his cock. He was soft and Shaun began to stroke him. “Don’t quit on me.”

As Jesse’s cock grew in Shaun’s hand and his noises of pain turned to pleasure. His asshole gave a little and he moaned. “You can go faster.”

Shaun let go of Jesse’s cock and pulled all the way out. He looked down at his glistening cock and kept his eyes on the red, swollen cockhead as he popped it back inside and slid deep into Jesse’s channel.

“Oh!” Jesse’s ass tightened. “That felt good. Do that again.”

“Do what?” Shaun drew his cock out and groaned as his shaft was exposed to the air. He watched Jesse’s dilated hole twitch, then took a deep, stabilizing breath and slowly sheathed his cock once more.

When he was halfway in, Jesse gasped and his whole body tensed.

“Bad?”

“No,” Jesse said breathlessly. “Good.”

Shaun set a pace. He wasn’t going fast, but he wasn’t inching his dick in and out anymore either. Jesse was taking the full length of his cock and he was liking it. There was a point midway inside set him off when Shaun sawed his dick along it.

Jesse reached under himself and grabbed his cock as Shaun fucked him steadily from behind. His cheek was pressed against the bed and his eyes were shut and Shaun watched as his face contorted with rapture.

“Ah! God! Uh! Harder!”

Shaun pulled Jesse back hard on his cock at the end of every thrust. Jesse grunted as his ass got pounded and Shaun’s cock got harder if that were even possible and he pushed it balls-deep every time. Sparks of pleasure exploded behind his eyelids when he bottomed out. It was the best feeling he’d ever experienced.

“Fuck!” Jesse cried when Shaun slammed into him again. Shaun drew out, then sheathed himself fully. “Oh shittt!” Jesse came explosively and his whole body shook and trembled.

Shaun thrust his hips into Jesse’s three more times, then growled like a wild animal as he finally reached orgasm. He fell across Jesse’s back and clutched him tight as his cock spurted over and over in his body. When he finished, he pulled out, and fell onto the bed, sweaty and completely zapped of energy.

“Wow.” Jesse rolled over and smiled at him. “That was definitely better than last time.”

“Agreed.” Shaun pushed his hair out of his face, then cringed when he felt the remnants of the greasy Vaseline. He wiped his hand off on the sheets.

“You kept hitting a spot that felt really good.” Jesse laughed. “Maybe guys have a G-spot, too.”

Shaun didn’t know anything about anatomy besides boys had cocks and girls didn’t. He shrugged.

“Let’s get a shower,” Jesse said. “I’ve got two loads of come in my ass.”

Shaun would rather get some sleep, but Jesse’s eyes were so convincing. “Fine.”

They went to the bathroom and climbed in the shower. The stall was tiny and claustrophobic with two people, but Jesse was more than accommodating. He soaped up Shaun’s scarred body and lovingly washed his hair.

Shaun repaid the favor. He washed Jesse’s hair and then his tight little body. When he got to his butt, he pushed a soapy finger up his asshole. Jesse braced his hands against the shower stall and let Shaun play with his butt.

They ended up fucking under the warm fall of water. Jesse’s moans echoed around the wet little room. It was very nice.

When they were clean, Shaun all but crawled back to the bedroom. He threw on an undershirt, some boxers, then climbed into bed.

Jesse watched him with hooded eyes as he shut the door and stepped into his jeans. He didn’t have a shirt on.

Shaun checked the clock. They had a couple hours until three and he was confident he’d wake up before his grandparents came home. “C’mere.”

Jesse hopped into bed beside him. He stretched out and rested his head next to Shaun’s, so they looked into each other’s eyes. “I love you,” he said sweetly.

“I love you, too, idiot.” Shaun draped an arm over Jesse’s waist and pulled him closer. “Let me sleep.”

Jesse kissed Shaun sweetly on the lips. “Goodnight.”

Shaun shut his eyes as Jesse began to stroke his fingers through his hair. Shaun was almost instantly overcome by sleep. It felt so good…

For the second time that day, Shaun woke up in a panic. He sat up and checked the clock. It was past 7.

He was alone in bed and only half dressed. He was starting to think the sex had been a dream when he spotted Jesse’s tennis shoes by the door.

Where the fuck was Jesse?

He rolled out of bed and quickly got dressed. His heart pounded in his chest as he opened the door and poked his head out of the room. He could hear voices in the kitchen and he stalked down the hall to investigate.

“He was such a cute kid,” Eli was saying as Shaun came into the room and froze. The kitchen was a mess and Eli and Jesse sat at the table with glasses of lemonade. There were dirty pans piled in the sink, a cutting board with vegetable scraps on the counter, and a mixing bowl by the microwave. There was something in the oven. Shaun could smell beef. “He must have been four the first time we took him to church,” Eli continued and Shaun’s gaze snapped to the old man, his eyes narrowing, but neither he nor Jesse had noticed his arrival. “It was communion. They always do a little ceremony where the ushers walk down the aisles with candles, and everyone sings. It’s really beautiful,” Eli said. “Anyway, Shaun got this pout on his face. You know the one.” Both he and Jesse laughed and Shaun crossed his arms. “He said, ‘Who’s birthday party is this? I didn’t bring anything’.”

“Aww, that’s so cute,” Jesse cooed.

Shaun growled and both Eli and Jesse looked up.

“Good evening!” Eli said cheerfully. “I didn’t think you were going to wake up in time. I convinced Ruthie to stay with the girls a little longer. She deserves a day out.” he said. “I thought I’d make dinner tonight.

Shaun frowned. “What are you guys doing?”

“We’re making steaks and cornbread.” Eli gestured to the stove.

“No, what are you talking about?”

“You,” Jesse said with a laugh.

Shaun narrowed his eyes to slits.

“Oh, relax,” Eli said and Shaun glared at him heatedly in response. “Your friend’s staying for dinner again. Be nice.”

“Your grandpa’s cool, Shaun,” Jesse said.

“He’s nosy, is what he is.”

“Maybe a little,” Eli said. “Now. Sit down and I’ll get you a glass of lemonade. Dinner’s almost ready.”

Reluctantly, Shaun sat.

Jesse put a hand on his knee under the table. “Love you,” he mouthed.

Shaun blushed and looked away before Eli noticed.

The three of them started dinner and Shaun wouldn’t admit it, but he enjoyed the meal immensely. The food was good, and the company was even better. Eli shared more embarrassing childhood stories, but Shaun didn’t mind as much as he pretended to. Jesse listened raptly. He was fascinated and it was flattering in a way.

Ruth came home in the middle of the meal. She had a smile on her face and Shaun relaxed.

Eli grabbed her a plate and Ruth joined the men at the table. She was full of gossip. None of it was relevant, but Jesse feigned interest.

When everyone’s plates were empty, he spoke up.

“Could we wash the dishes?”

Shaun’s eyes widened. Fuck no! He tried to signal Jesse with his eyes.

“That’d be great” Ruth blinked in surprise. “It’s always a treat when Eli cooks, but he leaves such a huge mess.”

Eli chuckled. “I’m useless without my Ruthie. What can I say?”

Eli and Ruth shared an affectionate kiss over the food.

“Gross.” Shaun cringed.

Jesse stood up and started collecting the dishes. “Leave them alone. Come help me.”

Shaun stood up with a sigh and went to start the water in the sink.

The old people migrated out of the room as Jesse brought a stack of plates to the sink, cutlery piled on top.

“What the fuck?” Shaun grabbed a handful of silverware and aggressively started to wash.

“I want to tell you something before I have to leave,” Jesse said. “But I don’t know how much time we’ve got left.”

Shaun checked the clock over the stove. It was 9. And a school night. Jesse was right. Ruth would probably send him home after they’d finished the dishes.

Jesse watched him carefully. “Don’t freak out, okay?”

Shaun set the silverware aside to dry and picked up a dirty steak knife. “What is it?” He really didn’t like the way Jesse was acting.

“I saw Kyle.”

“What?” Shaun hissed. “When?”

Jesse’s bottom lip trembled. “Don’t be mad at me—”

“When did you talk to him?”

“Friday,” Jesse choked out. His eyes were wide and fearful, and Shaun realized he was holding the knife between them. He set it on the countertop with a clatter.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His hands curled into fists. He wanted to smash something.

“Because I didn’t want to ruin the weekend,” Jesse whispered. “I’m sorry, okay. I’m telling you now.”

Shaun clenched his teeth. “He came to your house. Didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Jesse said. “After I left your place Friday night I got home and found him and Sam in our room.”

Shaun growled dangerously.

“It was really weird,” Jesse scrunched up his nose. “When I walked in the room, they were laying in Sam’s bed and their legs were touching. They were really cozy.”

“Mark my words, if he keeps showing up, he’s going to violate your brother one way or another,” Shaun sneered.

Jesse stared at Shaun with horror. “Kyle said some really disturbing things…”

“What did he say?”

Jesse pressed his lips together, then shook his head.

“If you aren’t going to tell me what he said, then why did you fucking tell me at all?!” Shaun cried.

“Shh! Keep your voice down,” Jesse hissed. He looked over Shaun’s shoulder, toward the living room. “He told me to tell you—”

“We’re passing notes now!”

“Please.” Jesse eyes were misty with tears. “Just listen.”

“I’m listening!”

“Kyle said…” Jesse took a deep breath, then said in a rush: “If you try to get revenge or hurt him in any way, he’ll go to the cops.”

Shaun laughed. “Oh, fuck him!”

“Shaun—”

“You know what? I think I’m gonna go see him right now.”

“No, please, Shaun!”

Shaun stormed out of the room.

Ruth and Eli were on the couch. Ruth looked up as he swept through the room. “I thought you were helping your friend?”

“Fuck off!” Shaun screamed.

Ruth shut her trap and Shaun swept into the hall.

In his room, he grabbed his boots and sat on the edge of his bed to jam them on. He was furious. If Kyle thought he could send Jesse to do his bidding and get away with everything, totally scot free, then he was in for a rude surprise.

Jesse appeared in the doorway. “I told you not to freak out.”

“Fuck you, Jesse. You should have told me sooner.” Shaun finished lacing up his boots, then stood. “I’m going to cut his fucking throat!”

“This is why I didn’t tell you.” Jesse stared in at him in horror. “You’re acting like a lunatic!”

“He got you beat up.” Shaun crossed his arms. “He’s responsible for what happened to you.”

“No,” Jesse said. “I’m responsible. I was selfish. I wasn’t thinking about anyone but myself. I shouldn’t have messed around with Emily. And I shouldn’t have told Kyle our secrets.”

Shaun grabbed Jesse’s chin and lifted his head. “Look at me.”

Jesse sniffed, then looked into his eyes.

“I have to teach Kyle a lesson.”

“No, you don’t!” A single tear rolled down Jesse’s cheek and he wiped it away impatiently. “Fuck! I’m crying all the time now. What the fuck’s wrong with me?”

“Did you start your period?” Shaun sneered.

Jesse glared at him. “If you go after Kyle, he’s going to get Kenny and Eric to go to the police, too. I guess you really messed up Kenny’s face. His parents want him to press charges.”

Shaun stiffened. “I don’t care.”

“You will when you’re sitting in a jail cell!”

“I’m not going to jail.”

“Why? Because you’re so popular?!” Jesse cried. “C’mon, Shaun. Think. We’re all eighteen. We’re adults. You can’t go around breaking people’s faces and expect to get away with it!”

“So, you’re suggesting I do nothing? You want him to get away with this?!”

“Yes,” Jesse said firmly, and Shaun gaped at him in total disbelief. “If it makes you feel better, I did manage to get a punch in,” Jesse said with a faint smile. “I knocked him on his ass.”

Shaun blinked. “You did?”

“Yeah. It was a cheap shot. He wasn’t expecting it,” Jesse said with a shrug. “But I wasn’t expecting to get jumped after school either.”

“This is such bullshit,” Shaun muttered, shaking his head.

Jesse closed the distance between them and slid his arms around Shaun’s waist. Shaun frowned, but allowed Jesse to cuddle up to him. He looked over Jesse’s shoulder, at the open doorway, and the hallway beyond. They had to be careful. Ruth was bound to come in soon enough. She would want to know what the commotion had been about.

“Let it go,” Jesse said. “What’s done is done. Nobody’s going to touch me again. You made sure of that.”

Shaun nodded grimly. “I guess.”

“We only have one more year of school. None of this shit will matter after that.”

Shaun huffed. “I’m serious, Jesse. I’m not going back next year.”

“I wish you wouldn’t be so difficult.” Jesse stretched up on his tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. “But I love you.”

“Do I have to say it back every time?” Shaun whined.

Jesse looked at him with his beautiful, shining eyes.

“Fuck. Okay. Love you, too,” Shaun growled.

“Shaun!”

Jesse and Shaun jumped apart as Ruth’s voice boomed from the end of the hall.

“I thought you two were washing the dishes!”

“Be right there!” Shaun hollered, then turned a glare on Jesse. “Why did you offer to wash the dishes? This is fucked up.”

“It was the right thing to do,” Jesse said with a laugh. “When someone has you over for dinner, you should help them clean up.”

“I never got that memo.”

“Shaun!”

“Coming!” Shaun cried. “Ah, hell. Let’s get this over with already.” He turned and stomped out of the room.