Living in Surreality - 5. Chapter 5

chapter 5:
: edited by viv :

"So what the hell happened today?" Matt asked quietly, walking shoulder to shoulder with Jacob as they made their way along the shaded, narrow side yard of Jacob's house.

Jacob shrugged slightly, trying to think of what to say while enjoying the innocent contact with Matt.

"You don't even know the guy that well, and you bolted over a table to kick his ass," Matt said, his voice tinged with awe.

"Mind if I swim in my boxers?" Jacob asked, his fingers busy fumbling with the buckle of his belt as the pool came into view.

"It's your pool dude," Matt replied, raising his hands in defeat, trying to shift his gaze elsewhere. Anywhere, except the knuckles of Jacob's hand, which were busy dancing along the brass buckle and worn leather of Jacob's belt, causing a chill to run the length of Matt's spine.

Matt tried to write the sensation off to the cool air that had descended on their quiet street. That would explain the chill; however it failed to explain why he found the way Jacob's wrist moved with an easy grace so utterly fascinating. Jacob's wrist flicked, opening the button fly with a practiced ease revealing a pair of red plaid boxers. Slightly spreading his knees, supporting the jeans which hung agape, Jacob pulled his t-shirt shirt over his head. As the shirt peeled off Jacob's torso, Matt's attention was strangled away from Jacob's waist by a mottled, purple-blue, fierce looking bruise at the base of Jacob's rib cage.

"Christ," Matt gasped, his hand darting for the discolored patch of skin, hesitating just before he made contact with the bruised skin.

Glancing down, at the fist-sized bruise at the base of his ribcage, Jacob flinched as Matt's fingers came into contact with his flesh. Not in pain, but with the sensations Matt's tentative curious touch brought as his fingers grazed across the angry skin.

"That Henderson is an asshole. He doesn't need to go around treating you..." Jacob paused, his eyes catching Matt's, "... or anyone like that," he finished as an afterthought. Ignoring the wound, he began kicking his feet in an effort to fully shuck his pants.

"Are you okay?" Matt questioned, his eyes once again fixed on the wound, any care he had for Jacob's reasons for attacking Jay abated.

"Yeah just a little sore," Jacob's breath lowered to a horse whisper as he watched Matt's gaze falter and slide along the ridge of his hips.

Jacob knew he had to break the tension which seemed to be swirling around them, thicker than the cool water of the pool only a few paces away, if only for the fact that the tension wasn't the only thing building, Jacob was sure the thin cotton would not aptly hide his growing excitement. On cue, the thin material of Jacob's boxer fabric pulsed slightly, causing Matt's cheeks to flush visibly.

Jacob scooped Matt in a relentless hold, his arms circling around Matt's midsection. Matt screamed as Jacob drug him from his stance, his hands clinging to Jacob's bottom half, dragging the flimsy cotton covering Jacob wore dangerously low. In a matter of seconds the world around him spun until it was replaced with weightlessness; the feeling of Jacob's long body curling around his own, and finally the sting of water and swirling bubbles.

Suspended in time, Matt enjoyed the contrasting sensations between the cold water and heat radiating from the firm chest he found himself tangled against. The moment of Matt's enjoyment was as fleeting as the thousands of air bubbles that raced towards the surface. Not to be out done, as the pair untangled themselves in slow motion heading for the air each of their lungs were screaming for, Matt reached out in the abyss and gave Jacob's boxers a healthy yank. The boxers failed to release cleanly from Jacob's hips as Matt had hoped they would. Not even the water could suppress the sharp sound of the elastic waistband giving away from reaching either of their ears.

Matt breached the surface with a load gasp, pausing only long enough to slick the water from his face, before rushing to the edge of the pool as fast he could. Pulling himself out of the water he spun around and sat on the ledge seeking out Jacob who, was planted in the middle of the water. Jacob's fist balling up the tattered waistband of his boxers, His eyes locking with Matt's as they both began to laugh at the situation.

"Asshole," Jacob chided, slowly swimming up to Matt's perch, on the side of the pool.

Matt laughing shook his head, "I'm sorry," he offered without even trying to hide the grin that had the corners of his mouth upturned.

"It's all right," Jacob's voice straining as he attempted to pull himself from the water, while still fighting to keep the torn boxers in place. "They were an older pair anyhow," he finished after successfully fishing himself from the water.

"I'll buy you a new pair," Matt offered, watching Jacob claim a seat on the slate coping next to his right.

Jacob gave Matt a quizzical look, "You go around buying guy's underwear?" Jacob asked, the quizzical look morphing into a sly dimpled grin, "or only after ripping them off?"

Matt's smile faltered in the face of Jacob's comment and accompanying grin. Not trusting himself to look at Jacob's sparkling eyes for too long, Matt's gaze shifted to the water swirling around their legs. The silence between them became pervasive, accentuated by the distant song of a bird and the low rumble of a car driving down the street out front. Jacob edged towards Matt in the thick silence that muted the gurgling pool filter. Matt shivered, surprised at the comfort he found in the warmth of Jacob's side pressing into his.

"Well?" Jacob asked, still grinning.

Matt hesitated, refusing to look anywhere but the water, not wanting the confusing swirl of emotions that ran through his mind to be apparent. The slight nudge delivered by Jacob's elbow forced Matt's attention back on him. Jacob looked at Matt, his grin fading as he appraised the conflict that darkened Matt's face with curiosity. Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling, Matt's eyes slid shut.

There in the darkness, shivering from nerves and the cool breeze that blew through the yard, Matt felt glorious warmth spreading in slow waves from his lips down to his toes that were still surrounded by swirling water. Matt felt like his heart was going to thunder out of his chest, when the feeling of Jacob's open palm pressed against the ridge of his breast bone. Slowly opening his eyes, Matt's vision was met with the curve of Jacob's face and the sight of Jacob's closed eyes.

"What was that for?" Matt whispered heavily, pulling his lips from Jacob's. Matt longed for an answer to the personal question, not at this second, maybe never, but Matt knew he had suppressed that fleeting urge for four long months and couldn't hold back any longer.

"You-," Jacob began, trying to point out the fact that Matt was the one who had started the kiss.

Finding the single word more than enough of an answer, Matt's lips caressed Jacob's again, eliciting an approving moan from Jacob. The smell of chlorine, mixed with the scent of spice, and tinged with peppermint was the smell Matt had previously attributed to Jacob, and as the scent assailed his nostrils through his sheer proximity, Matt remembered the first time he had ever detected it. Mixed with the lingering perfume of Jasmine, the first night he had met Jacob, but here, in such close proximity Matt found the smell, as tainted with chlorine as it was, intoxicating. Its' effect so euphoric, Matt didn't even hesitate at the feeling of Jacob's tongue moving slowly across his lips as they parted instinctively.

Leaning into Matt, Jacob's hand slid from the grip he had on the front of his tattered boxers. As Jacob's hand fell away, it was almost instantly replaced with hand that wasn't his own, a hand that slithered carefully from his knee, up into the apex of his legs. Jacob spread his legs in response to the hesitant hand, encouraging Matt's exploration further. Matt broke the kiss turning his head away, his cheeks flushing a deep crimson at the realization of what the hot mound of flesh was that his hand had collided with. An animalistic grunt resounded in Jacob's throat with the brief contact against his groin. Jacob didn't mind the respite; his kisses falling to Matt's collarbone, easily soaking up the chlorine tainted flesh.

"I think, maybe this should go inside," Jacob murmured between kisses, enjoying the small circles Matt's hand was delivering to his inner thigh.

Matt's head snapped in attention, his eyes wide with fear as they sought out the meaning of Jacob's words. The euphoria of want eroding, Matt's fingers slid away from the warm pocket they had found in Jacob's lap. His mind racing, had they gone too far? Was this all there was to be, a slight sample nothing more? Is this what he wanted? Pulling away from Jacob, Matt averted his eyes, lowering his chin in shame.

"No, no, no," Jacob cooed, cradling Matt's face in the palms of his hands like a gentle artifact.

He gently eased Matt's attention back to his. Their noses nudging and rubbing against each other, Jacob placed another innocent kiss on Matt's lips before wrapping Matt in his arms, pulling Matt into a hug, it wasn't too light, nor was it crushing, just safe, inviting, and warm.

"C'mon," Jacob whispered into Matt's ear, breaking the comfortable embrace and pulled himself to his feet.

The kiss still fresh in his mind, Jacob forgot to grab hold of his ruined boxers, catching them just in time as they slid over the hump of his pelvis on their decent to the slate covered patio. The expression lingering on Jacob's face, as he tangled his fist up in the stretched waistband, caused Matt to giggle slightly, wishing he could see that look of bewildered embarrassment more often. Grasping Matt with his free hand, circling his fingers through Matt's, Jacob led the way across the back deck and through the sliding French doors and into the kitchen beyond.

"Hello boys," Joanne said, not actually seeing Jacob or Matt, only hearing the sound of the sliding door and their foot steps.

She was on her knees doubled over, a paintbrush in one hand, the other bracing her weight on the wood planked floor. Her hair was pulled back and covered with a blue bandana, a streak of the hunter green paint smudged down her right check.

"You guys want anything to drink?" Joanne questioned the sound of wet footprints.

"No Ma'," her son's voice answered urgently.

The way Jacob had answered her in a rush, sounding almost frustrated that she had even bothered to speak, piqued Joanne's interest. Curious, she turned the direction the two were headed in, catching only two pairs of dripping legs that rushed from the kitchen. Shrugging her shoulders, Joanne went back to work painting the trim, listening to the thunderous footfalls pound their way up the staircase.

Jacob collapsed on his door, closing it, after showing Matt in. He didn't bother to lock it, having no intention of doing anything serious, and his mother respected his privacy anyway.

"Nice room," Matt commented, admonishing him self as he did. Of course it was a nice room; he had made the same comment when he first stepped into it months ago. Frustrated, Matt turned his back to the door, where Jacob stood watching him with a smile that made Matt feel as if he were a priceless piece of art.

"It's alright," Jacob chuckled at Matt's display of nervousness, "but its missing something," Jacob continued, pushing himself from the door he rested against, sliding his body effortlessly against Matt's back, enclosing him in a hug from behind.

The words forming on Matt's lips dissolved, forgotten with the feeling of Jacob's arms snaking their way around his waist, enveloping him in a warm embrace. Willfully, Matt let Jacob guide him closer to the queen size bed, his neck curling into the light pecks of Jacob's lips instinctually in an attempt to maximize his contact with Jacob's flesh. He reveled in the sensation of Jacob encompassing him; a simple pleasure by anyone's standard, however, it was a feeling that was completely alien to Matt. His parents didn't convey a sense of caring by touch; it may have always been implied, hugs just weren't the Porters' style outside of his father's campaign photos. Matt's annoyance flared, as the gentle caress of kisses ceased and he was turned around. His closed eyes opened, only to be met with simple reassuring smile from Jacob.

"You alright?" Jacob asked, in a hushed whisper.

Matt could only nod his head, throwing his arms around Jacob, crushing the breath out of him. Jacob did little to fight the death grip, letting his hands trace their way leisurely along the length of Matt's spine and back again.

"What was that for?" Jacob asked using the same quiet voice, "not that I'm complaining."

Matt shrugged an answer at the question, "Just felt right," Matt lied; it felt more then just right, the hug felt as if a vacuum had imploded inside of his chest.

"Well, does this feel right?" Jacob asked, placing a light kiss on Matt's lips. "And this?" Jacob asked as he gently ran his hand the length of Matt's arm before, curling it around the small of Matt's back pulling their bodies closer together. "Or even this?" Jacob questioned, his voice sounding wanton, as he ground his pelvis into Matt's groin, crushing the cold wet fabric between them.

The yelp Jacob's ministrations elicited from Matt graduated to a low moan as Jacob began to grind his crotch against Matt's in slow deliberate thrusts. Jacob continued the brazen action of his hips against Matt's for several minutes, his breath heating with the groans purring from Matt's chest. Jacob's lips found the nape of Matt's neck where he lightly kissed and sucked at the sinewy flesh before kissing a soft path up Matt's neck and down the ridge of his jawbone, where his lips moved north once again, colliding with Matt's. Breaking the kiss that left both of their lips swollen, Jacob pulled away from Matt, his fingers lightly tweaking Matt's nipple as he did. Offering Matt an easy smile before hesitating a brief moment, Jacob released his grip on the stretched wet boxers, allowing them fall with a slosh into a puddle on hardwood floor.

Matt stared in awe; his hand deftly reaching out and grasping the object he had nudged through the wet fabric by the pool. Matt let out a gasp as his fingers curled around the intense heat, feeling as if he had captured the flame of Jacob's soul in the palm of his hand. Jacob's hands snaked their way under the elastic waistband of Matt's swimsuit, his palms filling with the rounds of Matt's rear. Using his grip on Matt, Jacob pulled him forward, mashing their groins together, trapping Matt's hand between their bodies.

Jacob's right hand moved from the hold he had on Matt's rear, sliding his wrist along the waistband of Matt's board shorts till Jacob's pinky grazed through the coarse hair of Matt's groin. Jacob offered a small smile as his hand ran the length of Matt's contained erection, before pulling his hand from the confines of Matt's trunks. Giving Matt a devilish smile, Jacob pulled the lace tie of Matt's board shorts free before pushing the front of the suit down.

Matt's gaze followed Jacob's hand as it encircled the girth that had been concealed by the swimsuit. A small moan escaped Matt with the contact, his fingers digging into the flesh of Jacob's shoulder, trying to steady his knees which became wobbly. Matt's eyes, traveling the expanse of Jacob's stomach, to the devilish twinkle that existed just beyond his bright hazel eyes; noticed that Jacob's cheeks had a slight puff to them, like he was hording a mouthful of mouthwash. Matt watched as those eyes flashed brightly, before Jacob, pursing his lips, let a stream of spit fall between their chests and cascade onto their mated erections. Matt groaned with a shudder, his eye's rolling to the ceiling; he surrendered to his friend's easy manipulations.

Seven-thirty; the muted green numbers grew ever more luminous with the fading twilight that filtered in through Jacob's bedroom window. Those numbers however, bore little significance to the two young men who lay nude in the cherry panel bed, their hands had explored, lips had kissed; futures were wasted, until a comfortable silence descended upon them.

"Draw me a picture," Jacob whispered with content into Matt's ear.

"Hmm?" Matt questioned, unwilling to move his lips, or open his eyes.

"Draw me a picture," Jacob repeated, his hand tracing along Matt's silhouette, "it's what's missing."

Matt gave up; opening his eyes he tilted his head to the side and stared at Jacob.

"On the wall," Jacob clarified, his hand motioning to a large blank wall to the left of the bed they were relaxing in, "big, mural-like, cover the whole thing."

"What?" Matt's brow knotted, confused and embarrassed with Jacob's request, as he began to envision the wall covered in color.

"That way, when you become a rich and famous artist," Jacob said, leaning in and placing a kiss on the side of Matt's face, "I can say I knew you when... and boy, what we did then."

"Shud'up," Matt laughed, playfully socking Jacob in the arm, "Tell me," Matt started, why don't you play football anymore?"

Jacob eyed Matt curiously.

"You used to play at your old school," Matt continued, feeling the urge to explain himself under Jacob's gaze, "Here, it's like your not even interested anymore. What happened?"

Jacob gave Matt a measured look, "That's a story best left for another day," he answered, his cheeks flushing.

"Embarrassed?" Matt questioned, cocking his head against the pillow quizzically, "You don't have to be. I've seen you naked," Matt smiled, "twice."

Jacob chuckled. "Likewise," Jacob said, offering a quick kiss to the side of Matt's mouth.

"I've seen you hard, touched you, made you-," Matt began, listing all the reasons that Jacob shouldn't be embarrassed for, only to be silenced by Jacob's tongue, which slid effortlessly into Matt's mouth.

Any hope Matt had of digging Jacob's secret out dissolved, along with the football mural that Matt had envisioned covering Jacob's bare wall. A large display of green grass and red jerseys melted into oblivion as he focused on the touch of Jacob's lips, the feel of his fingers brushing effortlessly along the side of his chest, stopping only to tweak a nipple here and lightly pinch flesh there.

"Jacob?" Matt whispered after another of Jacob's kisses slowly died into a comfortable silence, "You wouldn't tell anyone about this right?" Matt asked his brow knotting.

Jacob lay silent for what seemed to Matt, an impossible eternity, when in reality, it could only have been a few seconds, his mind chewing the question, and the hushed, pleading tones Matt had asked it in. He wondered if he had crossed that invisible line in the sand with Matt, if their actions could have possibly changed who they were. Jacob hoped it hadn't, he wanted more quiet moments like this with Matt.

"Its nobodies business," Jacob whispered, hoping the answer would hold Matt's fears at bay, "Besides, it's not like we live under a microscope, nobody is watching, nobody cares."

Matt turned his head to face Jacob, his eyes wide, "Nobody would understand, Jacob, there's a difference. Somebody is always watching, people always care, especially with something like this," Matt responded, his hand tracing the length Jacob's jawbone, before his fingers slid up to Jacob's lips.

"Then I'll never talk about it, nowhere but where it's just you," Jacob answered, gently kissing the tips of Matt's fingers as his own intertwined with them.

Matt smiled content with Jacob's answer.

"I gotta run," Matt frowned, noticing the time on the bedside clock. "My dad should be going fairly ballistic right about now," he continued, moving to get dressed.

Jacob moved to join him.

"Don't," Matt smiled, pushing Jacob gently back into a reclining position on the bed, "You look comfortable, I can show myself out."

"Are you sure?" Jacob asked, feeling awkward at Matt's assertion.

"One hundred and fifty percent," Matt reassured with a smile, pulling up the board shorts that had been so carelessly abandoned.

"Alright," Jacob said, resigned to Matt's wishes.

"I'll catch ya' tomorrow after school," Matt said opening the door and slipping out.

Jacob rushed to his window, not bothering to dress and peered at the street below. It took a few seconds until he could see Matt dashing across the asphalt to his house. Jacob smiled easily to himself as he stepped back from the window, collapsing on his bed. His hands mimicked Matt's earlier touch, as Jacob's mind raced with what had happened, his lips creased into a content smile, still feeling the pressure of Matt's. That thought only made his smile bloom further.

His dad would be going ballistic, past eight on a school night, Matt was devising a plan though, he had been invited swimming, and then for dinner. Matt would go to bed hungry, but hunger was a small price to pay for the precious hours he had enjoyed at the top of Jacob's staircase.

Different events were playing out in the quiet hamlet, not even three streets away. The jilted girl lay in her canopy bed of pink lace, frills, and mute teddy bears which were her only companions. Her pretty mouth spewing such vulgar things into the phone receiver, they would have made her walls blush had they not already been a pale pink, and the teddy bears cry if they were more then mohair, cotton batting, and glass eyes.

"Of course they're faggots," the words seemed so unnatural, falling from pink-glossed angelic lips. "Why else would Jacob have jumped Jay? Not to mention, Jay had just told the two of them to get a room."

The voice on the other end babbled incoherently, but sounded as if the individual was trying to fight the notion.

"Please, no other guy would have done that for their friend, you could ask any of them. Whether Jay was joking or not, no straight guy would jump him after he said that just out of sheer fear of being labeled gay," she paused, listening to the other end.

"I have nothing against gay people," the girl replied with indignation, staring at a spot on her smooth pink comforter as if it were the spot she was having the conversation with. "I love Will & Grace, it's a funny show, but I don't actually picture any of those gay guys doing anything. Matt and Jacob on the other hand," she paused, her face paling, "the places they must touch each other, just knowing where they put their mouths, it's, it's just disgusting. They're filthy faggots," the girl paused to listen once more.

"I never liked Matt," the girl shouted, sounding incredulous at the notion. "I always knew, he was too pretty to be normal, too talented to be into girls, it's just a shame is all," she stated, sighing with resignation.

She spread her poison with frightening ease through the usual suspects, and by dawn, it would be quickly working its way through the student body of Grove High School. Based in truth or not, such vicious things could only be the gospel of the student body, if they came from the right sources that is. Jackie knew the game all too well, a seasoned veteran of the high school rumor mill. She said goodnight to the girl on the other end and barely left the receiver rest for a second before she had it in her fingers again, busy dialing the next person on her list.

Matt crept as quietly as he could through the front door, his hope of his father being gone for the night already dashed. The man's black Mercedes was parked in its usual spot on the driveway. Creeping through the house, quiet as a cat, turning the corner and heading down the hallway, his hopes of sneaking in undetected were dashed.

"MATTHEW!"

Matt jumped, the sound of his own name reverberating off the sterile white walls of his fathers house, scaring him. Sighing, Matt's shoulders slumped forward, as he turned in the direction his fathers yell had come from.

"Yeah?" Matt said, shuffling into the great room, his head hung low on his slumped shoulders.

"Where were you?" Richard asked, his stance firm as he ignored Matt's lax response, deciding to focus more on his sons absence at their dinner table.

"Uh... I was swimming at Jacob's house, and it got late so I just had dinner over there," Matt spoke quickly, stumbling over his words as he fidgeted, trying to think, if there were any marks he should be worrying about.

Richard's eyes narrowed on his son, "That the Keat's boy across the street?" his stance, stiffening as the name flowed off his tongue.

"Yeah...," Matt said shrugging, his hand rubbing the base of his neck, where he could still feel Jacob's soft lips.

"YES," Richard corrected, unwilling to stand for the lax speech of Matt's current vocabulary this time.

"Yes sir, Jacob lives across the street."

"I don't want you hanging around with that boy," Richard said, turning his attention away from his son as he deemed the conversation complete.

Stumbling back a few paces with the weight of his fathers words, Matt's eyes widened as his jaw slacked, ready to make a stern objection, "B-but," Matt said, the word choking his throat.

"NO BUT'S," Richard's head snapped from the paper he was barely reading. "He's a bad influence, period."

Matt shook his head in an attempt to convey physically what he couldn't communicate verbally, "You don't even know him."

"He got suspended for starting a fight today didn't he?" Richard countered. "That's all I need to know," he continued in a superior tone.

Matt's mouth opened, ready to offer a string of expletives which he was sure would deflate his fathers' dominance. The words didn't come though, instead, Matt felt defeated, wondering how he could defy his fathers command. He knew one thing, as he tried to steady the painful breaths that stuttered in his chest, caught in the uncompromising gaze of his father, he knew he wouldn't give up Jacob so easily. Not where this man, who could only be a father when it suited his purpose, was concerned.

"Goodnight," the stern words of his father shook Matt from his thoughts with their sense of finality. Matt didn't answer, instead giving his father a slight nod of his head as he turned and headed to his room.

Safe in his room, the smile his father had threatened slowly returned. Warmth spread through Matt's cheeks as he gazed out of his window towards Jacob's. Stepping away from the window as the light across the street was extinguished, Matt pulled off the board shorts he was wearing as he picked up the pair of satin basketball shorts he slept in. With a last look at the dark house across the street, Matt tossed the basketball shorts aside, sliding into his bed nude. He grabbed one of his pillows and hugged it to his chest, imagining it was Jacob there, and not batting sheathed in a white cotton pillowcase.

The dawn broke with pale pink ribbons against a clear blue sky, the pink blazing into a brilliant orange, before settling on gold as the sun slowly rose. None of the residents of the small city, busy running around in their own morning routine, could see the dark cloud looming over the High School, and especially above Matt. His day started great enough, even though his stomach was growling with hunger. All concerns he had over his father's assertion that he shouldn't hang out with Jacob were forgotten. Somewhere in the night, and the vivid dreams it brought, Matt came to the conclusion that he was past the age where daddy could be choosing his friends for him.

The realization had him smiling as he walked out his front door and made his way to Valerie's pony. Tossing the back pack Matt had slung loosely over his shoulder into the back seat, Matt climbed into the passenger seat with ease, aiming his wide smile in Valerie's direction.

Valerie looked at him curiously for a moment, her fingers toying with the key waiting to fire the pony, "My, aren't cheerful this morning?" she said, mirroring the wide smile on Matt's face.

"Yeah," he answered as Valerie fired the ignition and backed out of the driveway.

The ride to school was quick. Valerie had tried, unsuccessfully, to pry the reason for the smile out of Matt. The only answer he would offer was the smile she was so curious about, the smile that he was determined to wear all day, or until his cheeks gave out from sheer exhaustion. That was, until the stares from his classmates followed Matt's every movement through campus, and as the day wore on, it became evident that the stares only preceded the hurricane of hushed whispers that swirled in his wake. The 'world could care' smile he thought he would be wearing all day melted from his face as the hushed whispers turned into louder taunts. Standing at his locker during lunch, Matt clearly understood that they knew. He didn't know how they knew, but they did. He held the proof in his trembling fingers, a simple piece of notebook paper which had fallen from his locker as he opened it. There, scratched on the college ruled surface in harsh black script was a single word, FAG.

"Hey," Valerie said sneaking up on him.

She couldn't help it, even though she didn't believe a word of what Jackie Spencer had said about Matt and Jacob last night, it had a lot of staying power. The way Matt seemed to either viciously fight off or just completely ignore any girl's advances on him, that, coupled with the way he never seemed to make advances of his own, made the rumor she had heard last night, and now swirling around the school not at all surprising. What she did find surprising though, was that a part of her found it credible. As much as she wanted to deny it to the death, she could not say that Matt didn't act totally different when he was around Jacob. He was always a little too happy to see Jacob, his eyes sparkling too brightly when they met Jacob's.

"Oh, hey Val, how's it going?" Matt asked spinning around, shoving the blasphemous note into his pocket. Hearing her voice had threatened to bring the grin he wore that morning back, the promise of a safe harbor in the storm he had felt since arriving at school. Smiling as best he could, hoping she could make it a real one, Matt looked into Valerie's eyes.

Feeling instant shame for doing it, but not being able to stop, Valerie found the front of her shirt interesting, avoiding the eye contact with her best friend when she knew that right now, he needed her the most.

Matt's smile melted away with painful understanding. Valerie didn't have to witness what he and Jacob had done. She didn't have to scream, 'YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS', before turning to run. All she had to do to let him know she knew was break the easy comfort they always shared, replacing it with an awkward silence.

"Hey, I gotta run," Matt said, his voice wavering, a shiver running the length of his spine as he shoved the book for his last class into his bag before slamming his locker shut. He offered little else as he brushed past her, hoping to God, that if he got far enough away, it wouldn't hurt anymore.

"Matt wait!" Valerie shouted, but didn't run after him, finding the situation too confusing, too much to deal with.

Jacob sat idly in the one of the worn canvas upholstered chairs that clogged the waiting room outside of the guidance office, a smile of satisfaction curling his lips, his fingers toying with a loose thread on the arm of the chair. The final bell for the school day rang fifteen minutes ago, he knew as he had been watching the seconds as they slowly ticked by on the stoic face every school clock he had ever seen was graced with. Mr. Decker had relented, and allowed the meeting between Ms. Frost, Mrs. Martin and, Jacob; It took a lot of wrangling on Ms. Frost's part though, saying that the meeting was planned prior to Jacob's infraction and that it was the only time she had free before the semester concluded.

The meeting went well; Jacob fielded all sorts of questions about the fight from both Mrs. Martin and Ms. Frost before he finally relented and told them both the reason behind the incident, but not before being assured that whatever he said wouldn't leave Mrs. Martin's small cramped office.

"I... I like Matt," he whispered, so quietly neither of the women heard his utterance at first.

"What Jacob?" Ms. Frost asked, looking concerned as she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, rubbing lightly to sooth the troubles that hid in his eyes.

Jacob sighed, not liking the notion that he was going to have to repeat himself. "I like Matt," he repeated, louder this time, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Well it's nice to want to make friends," Mrs. Martin commented with a smile.

Jacob, looking at his guidance councilor as if she were a quarterback short of a football team, released an exasperated huff.

"I think Jacob means as more then just a friend," Ms. Frost added, looking to Jacob for confirmation. "Right?"

"That's why I sorta attacked Jay," Jacob said, looking between the two women.

"Oh..,Oh," Mrs. Martin said, the light bulb in her head firing.

"He was saying some pretty bad things. That alone wouldn't have bothered me. It's just, he's been saying them nearly everyday for the last three months," Jacob said, slumping in his seat.

"Did you explain that to Mr. Decker?" Mrs. Martin questioned leaning forward on her desk as her eyes narrowed. "We have a zero tolerance policy on sexual harassment."

Jacob shook his head, "No offense to Mr. Decker or anything, I just don't get along well with men," Jacob answered honestly.

"I can talk with him about it," Mrs. Martin offered, scribbling a note on her desk pad.

"Does Matt know?" Ms. Frost inquired, asking the more important question.

Jacob blushed, looking away as he tried to figure how to answer that question.

"I see," Ms. Frost answered for him with a nod of her head, clueing Mrs. Martin in. "We have a GSA on campus..." she began to offer, cut short by the adamant refusal Jacob's head brought.

"Not interested," Jacob said, sitting up in his seat. "I don't need a group of people to be okay with who I am."

"Well," Mrs. Martin eased off her desk, "keep it in mind, just in case,"

"I will," Jacob offered with no intention of ever going to one of the meetings.

"Was that it?" Ms. Frost asked, digging into Jacob's psyche.

Jacob, blushing again as he looked away, "Well, there's this girl,"

"Valerie King," Mrs. Martin guessed, correctly by the look of bewilderment that crossed Jacob's face. "Where ever there's one, the other isn't too far behind; it was the same way when I met them during the end of their eighth grade year," Mrs. Martin offered in way of explanation, rolling her eyes as if were only too obvious. "They were supposed to be one on one meetings. That was the first time I had to meet with two students at once." The woman chuckled with remembrance, "Quite the team those two," she grinned.

"Yeah," Jacob added, sharing the grin that spread across Mrs. Martins face.

Jacob smiled, relieved that he had shared his secrets with someone, his eyes darting to the clock again. Little hand on three, big hand on four, Mr. Decker had agreed to the meeting with the stipulation that Jacob would have to wait twenty minutes after the final release before he could leave. Jacob bolted out of the seat and through the guidance office doors. He didn't know if Matt would still be around this late after class, but Jacob was hoping to surprise him anyhow.

Matt stood outside his locker, glad this day from hell was over, he regretted running from Val earlier, desperately hoping, she would show up with a ready smile on her face. He knew that was a long shot, he had been held after in his last class to finish a class assignment he had been too distracted to complete before the final bell rang.

"Hey Matt," a voice called out.

Matt pulled his head out of his locker to see Ryan Neilson, one of the guys he hung out with in third period approaching. "Hey, Ry, how's it going?" Matt asked, trying his best to sound casual, the look on Ryan's face telling him he should be anything but.

"What's the story with you and that Keats guy?" Ryan asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the locker adjacent to Matt's as his eyes narrowed.

"What story?" Matt asked, bracing for the worst as he shut the door to his locker and leaned against it.

"The story that has the two of you," Ryan started, uncrossing his arms long enough to aim a thin pointer finger at Matt's breast bone, "being queer for each other?"

There it was, blatant confirmation; they knew. How the hell was he going to sort this mess out, "What?" he asked, his eyes widening in mock surprise.

"GAY," Ryan nearly shouted, pushing his meager weight off of the locker. "You and Keats."

"Who the fuck said that?" Matt's tone matched Ryan's, hoping he was feigning anger well enough to fool Ryan. "Jay?"

"Nope," Ryan answered with a satisfied smile.

"Are you sure? Jacob did kick his ass yesterday," Matt informed Ryan, unable to hide the satisfaction that he got out of witnessing the fight first hand.

"I know," Ryan smirked with a cocky grin as he settled back against the locker, issuing Matt a challenging look, "and they say it was because of you."

"What?" Matt asked, pushing himself off the row of lockers in shock.

"They say..."

"I heard you the first time, but why 'they', whoever in the hell they are, would say that is ridiculous." Matt continued, affirming his sexuality, failing to notice the figure walking quietly up behind him. "Jacob's a cool guy and all, maybe if he had tits and a puss' I'd screw around with him, other than that, nothing."

Ryan seemed to accept the explanation, not that Matt figured he wouldn't. More or less Ryan Neilson was the type of guy that would congratulate you on having sex, any kind of sex with anything or anyone, as long as you shared the details with him, fueling his jerk off fantasies. Matt heaved a sigh as Ryan turned and headed off the way he had come.

Jacob however didn't like the explanation Matt had offered, as he walked up behind Matt. He wasn't big on telling the school via the morning announcements, but to be written off by Matt as the new kid that was barely known; the words left a hole in his chest. Not knowing what came over him, the thought of still being the new stranger made anger course through his bloodstream, as his fists tightened. Jacob wanted nothing more in that second then to show Matt just how much those words hurt, he wanted to spin him around and level a well aimed punch directly into his gut.

The empty hallway echoed with a sudden sharp metallic thud, Jacob's fist colliding with the nearest locker, leaving a fist sized dent as Jacob pulled his hand away. The noise scared half the life out of Matt, who had assumed he was alone, turning just in time to see Jacob's face contort in rage and pain as he clutched a angry red colored fist close to his abdomen.

Matt's face blanched, wondering how long Jacob had been standing there. Matt couldn't find the words, as Jacob slowly backed away, tears threatening to run down his cheeks. Jacob turned and ran from the school, unwilling to give Matt the satisfaction of seeing him hurt.