Living in Surreality - 8. Chapter 8

chapter 8:
: edited by viv :


Matt's mind drifted over the nightmare and its lack of scary shadows or hideous monsters lurking just around the corner. Instead, the sun was shining in a sky filled with large cotton clouds, and birds could be heard chirping in the distance. Matt could actually remember the crisp scent of the spring air from his dream. With all of those plusses, the dream should have been one of the best he had ever had, not a polar bear or Eskimo in sight. It wasn't though, and all through the nightmare, an overbearing sense of dread filled Matt. Watching as the fear of Valerie abandoning him, Jacob moving on, and everyone, even the birds laughing, was realized in his subconscious. The feeling still weighed with a heavy constriction in his chest as he awoke to the same petulant song birds he did every morning.

Matt would have cried, the demons which stalked his dreams would have enjoyed that, but he just couldn't. He had given into that last night, and now, the tears were dry. He wanted to have nothing to do with school however, and as he slipped from his bed, ignoring the dull thudding he heard in the distance, he noticed that he was still clothed in the same jeans and shirt he wore yesterday. Shrugging out of the clothes, Matt peered out the window long enough to see Joanne Keat's climbing into the drivers' side of her SUV, Jacob waving to her from the porch. Matt's hand ventured up to wave back, as a smile crossed his face, until he realized how foolish the action was. Turning from the window, Matt pulled his sketch book from his back pack and sat on his bed.

 

 

Valerie cursed under her breath, rushing through the vacant schoolyard. Already an hour and twenty minutes late, she did not want to be a minute more. The morning had been spent leaning against the fender of her midnight blue mustang waiting for Matt to come so they could ride to school together, when he never showed, she attempted ringing the bell and found nothing.

She wandered through the first half of the day feeling like hen in the foxes den, her nerves jumping every time someone looked in her direction, and then turning and making a comment to whomever they were with. It didn't help matters much that she felt like some gimpy pet shop fish let loose in a large pond by a dimwitted preschooler, and had either Matt or Jacob asked her how she felt at school, Valerie would have answered honestly, terrified and alone. No one asked though, only casting her glances from a safe distance before passing their judgment.

The locker story had spread throughout the school population by lunch, and that, coupled with Matt's conspicuous absence, only gave absolute credence to the circling rumors of the elicit relationship. Deacon's curious green eyes sparkled, as he offered Valerie a chocolate chip cookie and the hope of a respite as she approached the table she normally ate lunch at.

"Thanks D," Valerie said, accepting the cookie Deacon had offered as she sat. "Where's Nathan and John?"

"Oh," Deacon answered looking away from Valerie, "they had somewhere else to be today. Where's Matt?" he asked, watching Valerie dig through her school bag.

"I haven't seen him since yesterday," Valerie measured her answer as she spread to pen her geometry book.

"Is it true," Rebecca asked, interrupting the conversation in progress.

"Is what true?" Valerie countered, pushing her geometry book away.

Rebecca looked apprehensive as she ran a hand over her long silken black hair. Not wanting to upset Valerie, any more than she already had, Rebecca's eyes moved from Valerie, to the rest of their friends, looking for courage, before turning her attention back to Valerie.

"What everyone has been saying about Matt and Jacob."

"And what is that?" Valerie asked, trying to keep her voice neutral, though it threatened defiance.

"That they are queer for each other," Rebecca said bluntly, causing more then a few of her friends to choke on their lunches while trying not to laugh.

Hurt flashed across Valerie's face shortly, an involuntary reaction from hearing the rumor spoken so blatantly, so viciously. In a single instant, she mustered all of her courage and fed it to the rage she felt towards these girls and the entire school.

"It never came up when I was with Jacob last night," Valerie shrugged defiantly, ignoring her sense of self-preservation, screaming for her to not to say it. She had to however; she had to do something to dispel this thing before it got too bad.

Without another word, Valerie collected her books and walked away, abandoning the lunch she had barely touched, leaving Rebecca to sit there with a look of shock and evil delight on her face. Before she was even out of earshot, the remaining girls collapsed into each other, quickly conversing over what their hot little ears had just heard.

"Oh my God," Jeanie whispered excitedly, her hand barely covering her mouth as she leaned towards Rebecca. "Did she just say what I think she said?"

"She fucked Jacob?" another blurted, causing heads all around to stop and spin in the direction Valerie had stalked off in.

Valerie could hear them giggling like the vile wannabe cheer imps they were. She couldn't believe that she had actually considered this group of girls; she couldn't call them young woman, friends only last week. Even though her eyes were wet with embarrassment, somehow, she knew she did the right thing. She wanted to turn back and rub into each one of those girls, make them feel as small as she possibly could. She didn't though, and on autopilot, much like she had been all day, her retreat delivered her a midnight blue stallion that would carry her away from this place and these people she was quickly learning to hate.

Tires squealed in agony as the heart of the mustang roared its way out of the student parking lot, her brown hair flapping wildly in the wind, her eyes fixed on the road through a pair of tortoise-framed sunglasses. Traffic was light, a vast difference compared to the snarled state the streets would be in three hours, clogged with soccer moms driving mini vans, and sport utilities on their trek to collect their kids, while the high school students who could drive would be making their own way home.

"What the hell where you thinking?" she asked herself as she put her baby into park. "What the hell are you thinking?"

On instinct, she wanted to run to Matt and tell him all that had happened. Valerie hoped that he could put everything into perspective for her and make it all seem less scary. As she glanced at his house, a realization of the events from the past twenty-four hours hit her. She felt ill as she stared distantly at his house, her previous question toying with her mind once more. She began to panic knowing that she couldn't tell Matt. He simply would not understand.

'Maybe if we both told him what happened?' she thought. 'It wouldn't be as bad, I could tell him I had to stop the rumors. It was the only way I knew how, the only way I could.'

Her focus shifted across the street to Jacob's house. She knew she would have to tell him what she had done before he heard it second hand from anyone else. Valerie didn't know what his reaction would be, she didn't know him that well yet, not like she knew Matt. This fact scared her, he could go off and strike her for all she knew. What she did know however, was she had to tell him first. Accepting the fate she had constructed, Valerie pulled herself from her chariot and began walking as slowly as she could across the street. Even with her restrained stride, she approached his porch faster then she had wanted to.

Valerie stopped abruptly, her gaze lingering on the porch swing, her lungs drawing in a deep breath as she remembered the feeling of sitting astride him, a phantom touch of his fingers curled around the base of her neck sending a shiver crawling aguishly up her spine. With a trembling finger, Valerie pressed the doorbell, distantly hearing it ring through the house, secretly hoping no one would answer. It seemed an eternity that she stood there, the vivid memory of his lips slowly caressing hers. She could have lived in that moment forever.

Still lost in the memory of the previous night, Valerie jumped when the door flew open. The wide smile Jacob's face was sporting slowly faded as he saw Valerie standing there. Without a word, he stepped aside and Valerie entered the house.

"Hey," he said quietly, shutting the door behind her.

"Hey," Valerie answered back.

The two of them stood there wrapped in an awkward silence for a fleeting moment until Valerie looked away towards the staircase. Jacob noticed her cue quickly, and led the way up to his room.

After they were closed up in his room, Valerie spoke. "I screwed up today."

Jacob gave her a questioning look as he sat down at his desk.

"I had to do it," she preemptively defended herself. "The rumors were worse today, seeing as how Matt didn't go to school."

"Matt didn't go to school," Jacob repeated, leaning forward in his seat, lightly wringing his hands at the news.

"No," Valerie swallowed, "and I kind of told Rebecca Flynn we slept together last night."

"Wh-what?" Jacobs face paled as he shook his head, trying to relieve his mind of what she had said. Wondering why his personal life kept becoming the topic of the local high school.

Valerie stood there quietly, watching him as he kept shaking his head.

"Why?" he asked after a prolonged silence. "What did you say?"

Valerie moved to the bed and sat down.

"Matt didn't show up at school today, and after the whole locker thing yesterday, people started to talk." Valerie paused momentarily, "Well we were all at lunch, I was trying to studying geometry, cause' I didn't want to be asked what they were whispering, but Rebecca asked anyway."

"What did she ask?" he mouthed quietly, his gaze stretching far past Valerie.

Valerie's eyes began to water. "She asked if you and Matt were..." she paused gasping for breath, "queer for each other."

Jacob's face screwed into a knot as his lips trembled, trying to hold back tears of anger and frustration.

"You should have told her to mind her own," Jacob paused, searching for a phrase that suitably matched his feelings of invasion, "fucking used tampon," he growled wiping the moisture from the corners of his eyes.

"We need to tell Matt," Valerie barely spoke the words, shrinking away from the harsh tone and words Jacob had found.

"I'm tired of people talking about my life. What I do when they are not around is none of their damned business," Jacob said decidedly.

"We need to tell Matt," Valerie repeated.

Jacob stopped talking long enough to listen to her the second time, leveling her with a cold abrasive look after she had finished. A look so unsettling that, Valerie began to mumble an explanation for her reasoning.

"He needs to hear it from us before he hears it from someone else."

"So," Jacob answered harshly.

"So?" Valerie questioned, her voice trembling as she tried to figure out what he was saying.

"So what," he growled.

Valerie's face twisted in hurt confusion. "You don't want him hurt any more than necessary do you?"

Jacob shook his head, "No I don't."

"I don't understand Jacob. There's something between the two of you, whatever it is, and it's eating the both of you. Watching it happen hurts more than I can explain," Valerie told him as she tried to calm herself down. She didn't understand how he could be so adamant when it came to Matt. "I don't want him hurt."

"Maybe it's time you stopped protecting him Valerie," Jacob spoke in a hushed tone. "Maybe it's time you let him step from your shadow."

Valerie gave him a cold stare as her tears began to dry.

"From what I can tell," Jacob continued, ignoring the look Valerie was aiming at him, "the two of you have always been there for each other, through everything, and in spite of all you've seen together, you still see him as some little boy who needs protection, while he sees you as a woman enjoying freedom, enjoying life. Why don't you return the favor?"

Valerie stood, "How dare you accuse me..."

"Tell me it's a lie," he stood interrupting her.

She couldn't, struggling to find the words she continued, "What gives you the right?"

"Because," Jacob started.

"Because of what's going on between the two of you? The thing that neither one of you will tell me about, and all I know is, I've got him crying his eyes out, and for what... you?"

"What if it was," Jacob shouted, openly defiant.

"Then I made a stupid sacrifice today, saving your ass. Take a good look Jacob, you see her, the school whore, all for you."

"For him," Jacob corrected, slouching back into his seat. "Just him, always and forever him," he spoke softer, the edge of his voice eroded by her stern resolve.

"What is it?" she demanded, towering over him.

"I want him," he shouted up at her rebelliously. "Is that what you want to hear? Had to know if what they were saying was true?" he stood abruptly, staring at her directly. "Not all of it. Not yet."

His words rippled through her body, it wasn't as shocking as he could have hoped it to be, no, the rumors had already taken away that advantage. She was just surprised to actually hear him say it, hearing him shout it, defiantly admitting it, without a hint of disgrace, that was the shock to her. She always figured if the rumors were true, they'd do their damnedest to hide it from everyone.

"You used me to get to fucking get to him," her eyes narrowed.

Jacob matched her glare easily. "Get over yourself Sweets."

"You did! You used me to get into Matty's pants," she insisted.

"Seriously Sweets, I don't need you to get into Matt's pants. I can manage that just fine with a flick of my wrist."

"Swish you mean," she interrupted, a hiss of disdain lacing her voice.

Jacob turned from her and opened his bedroom door.

"Don't you walk away from me," she said, elevating her tone, not yet through with him.

Jacob turned on his heel, his right eyebrow rose challengingly as he appraised her. "I think it's time for you to go Sweets."

She didn't want to. Ever since he had admitted that the rumors about he and Matt were based in truth, her mind had been working overtime. She wasn't ready to admit it openly yet, but something about imagining the two of them in bed together fired her engine. Just the thought, much less the lucid visions, brought an aching hollow to her thighs.

"You and Matt huh?" her mind continued racing.

"I don't want to go through this again Valerie," Jacob said as his back slouched against the wall, any idea of her leaving forgotten.

"So have you and Matty... ya' know, done anything yet," she asked trying to hide her anxiousness.

Jacob smiled, "That is really none of your business."

Valerie took one look at his mischievous smile and twinkling eyes and knew.

"You popped Matty?" she cried, almost laughing.

Jacob shook his head as he too began to chuckle, "Shuddup'"

The weight of the air evaporated as Jacob crossed the short distance and sat down on the bed next to her, sighing loudly.

"You said you were tired of your personal life being public topic?" she spoke softly as her hand landed on his leg next to his.

Jacob intertwined his fingers with hers and brought both of them off his leg, holding them up shortly, examining them closely. After a moment of admiring her delicate hand, he slowly pressed his lips to the back of it before resting it against his cheek.

"I got caught somewhere doing something I really shouldn't have been doing," he sighed, not wanting to remember it, and realizing it would come out sooner or later.

"Where were you?" she inquired, her interest piqued.

"On my knees," he sighed with the memory. "In front of Cody Jameson."

Her free hand jabbed him playfully in the side, causing him to jump a little in reaction. Her smile widened as she felt his grin on the back of her hand.

"We were in the locker room of my old school. When Coach Baily, one of the football coaches, caught us."

"Ouch," she said sympathetically. "He told the whole school?"

Jacob chuckled lightly at the question. "No, one of our team mates had gotten tackled a little too hard, and broke his arm. Coach Baily was taking him to the nurse's office. Apparently he wanted to grab some forms from his office and drop them off at administration while he was there. It was stupid we knew better."

"Teammates?"

"Football, I was second string, just a bench warmer. Well, so was Cody, but we found a way to pass the time."

"Obviously," Val laughed.

He laughed along with her, knocking his side into hers.

"So who was he? Your best friend or something," she asked.

"Nah, nothing like that, we met for the first time on the team. I'd only know him for three weeks when we decided to hang out after a game one night and get stoned. That's when we came to our understanding. Besides foolin' around with each oth,er and occasionally smoking out, we really didn't hang around each other."

"God," Valerie voiced breathlessly, slightly shocked at Jacob's admission. "Did you ever-you know?"

Jacob gave a slight nod of his head, but would not give voice to the answer. The back of Valerie's hand felt the heat increase from his face as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He pulled her hand away from his check and looked her in the eyes.

"So your mom knows," Valerie asked.

"Yup," he answered with a nod of his head.

"She was okay with it?"

"Hell no, she was flippin' pissed that I had been kicked off the team, not to mention nearly expelled, but she really lost it when they wanted me to see a psychologist. She claimed he would only trick me into blaming her for not having an adult male role model in my life."

"Do you honestly think that would have helped?" Valerie shifted slightly getting more comfortable.

Jacob shrugged, "I like who I am."

"I like who you are too," Valerie readily agreed. "I only have one other question though."

He eyed her suspiciously, already knowing what the question would be.

"If you're so taken with Matt, why'd you let me..."

"Because..." he answered cutting her off, "as you put it, I'm taken with you as well."

"Rather selfish isn't that?" she quipped.

"C'mon you don't think Matt is a looker?" Jacob responded, grinning as he did.

Valerie shook her head, "I've known him since we were both kids, He's..."

"Shit Sweets, next time you see him, don't just see, really have a good hard look. If you do, I'd be surprised if you didn't rip your clothes off and screw him right there. Seriously, just the way the sun catches his face, you'll be done for," he trailed off.

Valerie laughed lightly as she studied the way the words flew from his grasp, leaving him sitting there in silent contemplation.

She brushed him with her elbow. "C'mon lets go get some pizza. I'm hungry."

Jacob looked at her and half smiled, nodding his head in agreement.

"Go get your car I'll be down in a sec," he said.

Valerie bounced off his bed and exited his room. His eyes lingered on her physique as she slipped from his view; Jacob continued to stare at his empty doorway until he heard the front door open and click shut again. He was up in a flash, his hand pulling open the top drawer of his nightstand. There resting neatly inside was a sketched drawing. The face a familiar one, the same he spied every morning as he got ready for the day. The face wasn't the attracting feature however, as Jacob's hand slid gently down the sketch, his fingers feeling every line and silky granular shade of grey.

The tactile sensation brought a gentle smile to his face. He would never have thought a scrap of paper and graphite would bring such emotion, yet the memory of when it was drawn, and who the artist was, the way the same hand that had skillfully maneuvered the pencil could deftly handle other, less delicate things fascinated him.

Jacobs face flushed and he adjusted the front of his white and black basketball shorts. Reluctantly, he pulled himself away from the memory of lying nude, Matt's face peeking out from behind the old notebook. Jacob slowly slid the drawer closed, sealing away the prized possession. For right now, it was all he could see of Matt.

Valerie honked the car horn in the distance, grabbing his attention. Bolting out of his room, Jacob grabbed his shoes and flew down the steps, taking them two at a time, and out the front door. He didn't bother with the messy business of opening the passenger door on Valerie's mustang in his rush, instead preferring to jump over the side and land in the front passenger seat.

The car rested, idling in the middle of the street, Valerie looking at him as if he'd just shot the president. Her eyes lingering in a place Jacob could not discern, owing to the fact that her sunglasses hid them easily.

"We really need to get you some boxer briefs," she commented nonchalantly, her eyes turning to the road.

Jacob stared at her blankly as the mustang began to move down the quiet street.

"Boxers and those loose shorts have exactly nil hide factor babe," she glanced at him, and then obviously at his crotch. Jacob's gaze followed hers, to his crotch where he saw the obvious tent, his cheeks flushing pink, then quickly red. Valerie laughed heartedly and pressed the gas pedal to the floor. "You really need to do something about that before you get nabbed for indecent exposure."

Jacob grabbed what little of an 'oh shit' handle the vintage car offered. "Oh I'm sure you'll take care of it long before I have a chance of getting nabbed, either that, or you'll just get arrested for reckless driving."

She gave him a look of astonishment, "I'm not reckless," she yelled, shocked at the accusation, guiding the car as she spoke, blowing through a stop sign.

"Case in point," Jacob muttered, his upper body twisted around looking back on the intersection.

"It's a useless sign," Valerie commented, indifferent to the point Jacob had made.

"And a red light is only a suggestion to stop right?" he questioned.

"Damn straight," she laughed.

Jacob laughed with along with her, glad to hear the melody again as it poured from her lips. The trip to the pizza parlor was, thankfully for Jacob, was all too short as Valerie ignored the posted speed limit the whole way there. The mustang's brakes hissed, taking a corner sharply, as she pulled to an abrupt halt in the nearest parking stall.

"WHEW," Valerie breathed though the rush of adrenaline, "that was fun," Valerie continued with a nervous giggle, watching as Jacob scrambled to get out of the car.

"Trust me, NO it wasn't," Jacob replied, relieved to have his feet planted on stable ground. Her laughter strengthened with the look of mock terror that spread across Jacob's face.

Valerie continued to kid with him as they entered the parlor and snuck off to the booth in the back corner. They had just managed to sit down when an older woman appeared who was ragged looking, but attempted to hide it. The mess of red hair covering her scalp coming straight from a Clairol box, which was attested to by her visibly grey roots.

"Hey kids," the waitress said, chewing loudly on a piece of gum, her gaze washed over Jacob and Valerie, giving them a warm smile as she did. She thought they looked like a nice couple, obviously stealing time away from their families to share some time together.

Valerie noticed the look and scooted closer to Jacob along the red vinyl covered bench seat. He however, like most young men was completely oblivious to the look she gave them, Jacob did however notice Valerie moving closer to him and did nothing to dissuade her. The waitress stopped at Valerie's display and put her hands on her hips.

"Well don't you two make a nice couple," she said, gushing in a lovie-dovie way that only a career waitress could muster.

"Thank you," Valerie blushed as Jacob's head spun on the waitress with a look of surprise causing the older woman to chuckle.

"Oh honey," the waitress sighed in Valerie's direction, "he's a looker aint' he?" Jacob's face flushed with the compliment, a blush that only made the woman giggle more. "So Babe," she spoke to Jacob, "What'll it be?"

"Umm," Jacob stammered. "Small cheese I guess," he answered, searching for the small nod of approval Valerie gave him.

She scribbled the order down on her pad. "Drink?" her eyes glanced at him again.

"Dr. Pepper," he answered easily.

"Pitcher or single?"

Jacob glanced at Valerie, "Single," he answered, reading her face.

"You Love?" the woman asked, turning her attention to Valerie.

"Iced tea," Valerie answered looking up at the waitress.

"Alright, I'll have Jerry get right on it. Should be ready in no time," the waitress said as she tucked the guest-check book between her apron and pants and walking away.

Bob Segers' voice drifted dulcetly out of the old highly polished Wurlitzer which stood in the far corner of the small restaurant. The song played in the background as Jacob and Valerie soaked in the comfortable silence between them. The song transitioned into an Elton John song, and Jacob began fidgeting with a paper napkin he pulled absently from a dispenser that sat between a jar of crushed red peppers, and a jar of dried cheese.

"You said Matt didn't go to school today?" Jacob looked at Valerie.

"Nope, the lil' bastard made me late for second period. I tried knocking on his door and calling, but didn't get a response to either," Valerie answered.

Jacobs jaw muscles tensed, "I'm worried about him and he probably thinks I hate his guts."

"Why would he think that?" Valerie's hand rubbed Jacob's shoulder in an effort to comfort him.

"Because I..."

"One Dr. Pepper, and one iced tea," the waitress announced from nowhere, causing both Jacob and Valerie's heads to snap to her in surprise as she set the drinks in front of them. "Will there be anything else?"

"No," they said in unison. "Thank you," Valerie added.

The waitress gave them an appraising look and continued to watch them from the corner of her eye as she walked away. Jacob watched the waitress for a second before he lowered his head towards the table motioning Valerie to do likewise.

"Because I wasn't so nice to him the last time I saw him. He probably thinks I don't want a damn thing to do with him," he whispered, checking for the waitress ever so often.

Valerie evaluated the concern she found in his eyes, judging by the look she found there, she decided it would be best if she didn't tell Jacob word for word the last conversation she had had with Matt. "It'll be okay, Matt just gets really funny sometimes. When he gets that way he doesn't want to see or deal with people. I think he gets from his dad, but when he's in that mood he has no patience for anyone, me included. He'll be over it by Monday, you'll see." she tried reassuring Jacob.

Her hand slipped off the table and onto Jacobs' leg giving it a gentle squeeze to reinforce her words. Jacob thought quietly for a moment, suppressing the urge to argue her statement, before finally giving Valerie a slight nod of his head as he reluctantly agreed with her, figuring she knew Matt better then he did.

"Ahem," the waitress approached, clearing her throat and causing both Jacob and Valerie's heads to snap up in attention. "Y'all ain't doin' no funny business back in this corner, are you?" she asked, leveling them both with an accusing look as she tossed the pizza pie onto the glass topped table.

Val removed her hand from under the table and gave the woman a shy, caught smile, knowing completely well what she thought. Jacob wasn't as oblivious this time though, as he openly snuck two napkins out of the holder and moved them to his lap under the table.

The woman just shook her head disgusted, and stalked off back to the kitchen.

Valerie elbowed Jacob in the side as the woman stormed away, "Your so bad," she laughed.

"Me? What about you Miss Innocent?"

They laughed together before reaching for a slice of the pie.

As the two were reaching for their second slice the waitress reappeared at the table and slammed down a bottle of cleaner and a rag. "You're cleanin' that seat off before you leave," she hissed, "Damn kids... everyday. What ever happened to driving somewhere?" she muttered to herself as she stalked away.

Both Valerie and Jacob laughed quietly, and thirty minutes, and one cleaning job later, Valerie threw her keys at Jacob.

"Drive me home Daddy!" she said loud enough, making a man's head appear through a small window in the wall.

"Really?" Jacob asked, his eyes widening at the prospect of driving the mustang.

"Yup," Valerie answered as she pushed through the door of the Pizza Joint, causing a swath of leather and bells to ring with the action. "But you have to answer any question I have for you while your behind my wheel," she smiled innocently.

Jacob began to rethink driving as the cost was clearly laid at his feet by Valerie. "Deal," he finally conceded.

Jacob opened the driver side door with a ginger reverence, this display of nervousness, causing Valerie to giggle softly. Jacob sat in the leather seat delicately, not wanting to hurt the auto he thought of as one of Detroit's finest offerings. Carefully, he adjusted the seat and mirrors before he slid the offered key into the ignition, holding his breath as he gave it a twist towards the engine block. A tingle of excitement rushed through him as the power plant of the pony roared to life at his whim, He exhaled slowly, relishing in the vibrations of the V-8 at his command. Pressing the clutch, Jacob's shaky hand maneuvered the shifter towards Valerie and back.

"This is so cool..." Jacob commented as the mustang pulled slowly out of the stall. Valerie beamed with a slight chuckle as she watched the excitement play unrestrained across Jacob's face.

"Back to the teammates thing," Valerie said as the mustang gave a jerk after being slid into first.

"What about it?" he asked, hoping she didn't notice his sloppy shifting.

"Is that why you won't play football here?" Valerie asked, her body jolting forward as Jacob shifted into second. "Have you ever driven a stick before?"

"Yes and, yes, though it's been a while," he answered giving her a lopsided smile. "Back in Sacramento, when it all came out, no one would talk to me. I thought I had everything," Jacob started explaining, while he shifted into third much smoother then the previous two gears. "I had friends, two great ones, and then the whole football team. After though, my two best friends disappeared on me, wouldn't return any of my calls, avoided me in the halls," Jacob chuckled bitterly.

"Oh," was all Valerie could offer in response as the smile faded from her lips.

"When coach kicked me off the team, I would have thought that they would have fought for me, being my friends and all, but they didn't. I was disposable, so I vowed never to be part of a team again. I was actually kind of relieved when the school board sent me to the continuation school and I didn't have to see those hypocrites again."

"You gave up?" Valerie asked, confused at such an action coming from Jacob.

Jacob chuckled at her question, "I wouldn't say I gave up, just grew up I guess. I realized what my 'friends' really were like," he answered. "I was gonna go see Matt this afternoon," he continued, shifting the conversations gears as deftly as he switched the pony's gears.

"Matt will be fine," Valerie replied, forgiving Jacob for his topic change. "He'll come around, and if you try to see him before then, you'll end up frustrated and angry with the wall he can put up around himself."

"So you think it's a bad idea?" Jacob asked, turning the corner onto Lilly Ct.

Valerie answered with a nod, "I have to work tomorrow, but I'll force him out of his hole on Sunday, even if I have to use our parents to do it," she finished with a smile. "I'm not saying don't try to talk to him, I'm just saying let me talk to him first."

Jacob wanted to argue the point as he pulled the Mustang into Valerie's driveway. He knew she was probably right, if he did attempt to talk to Matt and only got avoidance, that would definitely piss him off. The smile he gave Valerie as he climbed out her car wasn't genuine as his eyes lingered on the manicured lawn of Matt's house.

"I'll fix it, I promise," Valerie offered as she placed a kiss on Jacob's cheek, retrieving her keys from his hand.

 

The bright sun of yet another glorious Sunday morning, came streaming through Matt's window, stretching out in long shafts and making the dust particles floating on the air visible. Matt tried squeezing his eyes harder in effort to block out the encroaching light, but it would not be deterred. Relenting to the whim of the day, he opened his eyes only to hear his mother softly rap at his bedroom door.

"Matthew... Matthew, it's time to get up. We have to go to service," she said sounding as unwilling and groggy as he felt through the door.

Matt pushed himself out of his bed reluctantly and opened the bedroom door, intent on crossing the hall to the bathroom. Viola smiled at him as he opened the door, not looking as nearly as tired as he thought she had just sounded.

"Morning honey," she forced a smile, but her face spoke volumes of worry.

"Mornin' Ma'" he said as he crossed the hall to the bathroom scratching himself.

"Matt," she spoke hesitantly. Matt turned around to face her, his eyes barely open. "Is everything alright hun?" she questioned. "You didn't go to school on Friday and barely came out of your room yesterday."

Matt smiled in her direction warmly, yet weakly, before crossing the small distance between them and giving her a tight hug. Viola stood still, shocked for a moment, before her arms encircled him and held on tightly. She had almost forgotten what her son had felt like, it had been nine long years since they had hugged each other like this, and aside from his being taller and slightly more muscular, the foggy memory she had of his touch was correct.

"I'm leaving your Dad," she exhaled as she held him close.

"I know," he whispered into her neck.

"I don't like the person I've become, and it's the only way I know to break free of that person..." she stopped mid explanation, realizing that Matt didn't falter from his grasp of her. A single tear rolled down her cheek as her fingers slid through his short hair. "I've missed you," she sighed lightly.

Matt lingered in the embrace, not wanting to let go. He thought if he did he would loose the woman that woke him this morning. She was a welcomed sight for the longing heart that beat in his chest, the same woman as yesterday, and the day before, but no longer the stranger she had become.

"C'mon, go shower and get ready. We have mass at nine." she said, patting the small of his back.

Matt broke away from her with a content smile and remained watchful of her until he closed the bathroom door. Turning to face himself in the mirror he smiled, optimistic about the future he considered bleak and distant only yesterday.

When he woke this morning, he felt the sun shining in all its glory was doing so only to mock him, saying 'this world keeps going even though you think it should stop'. However, as he drove his mother to the church, it was more like the storm clouds had parted showing him the path before them.

"Its only Sundays for an hour or so, for now," she spoke watching him for reaction. "Besides that, he'll be stopping by later today to gather more of his belongings."

Matt nodded his head as he scanned the intersection he was stopped at before proceeding.

"Oh," his mother said acting as she just remembered something, "you're going with Valerie for pizza after church today."

Matt shot to her a short annoyed look, then back to the road ahead of him. "I don't really feel like pizza today Ma',"

"Tough," she answered straight out. "You've been cooped up in that house for far too long ignoring your friends." Her tone told him with no uncertainty, that he would be leaving with Valerie.

In some strange way, he enjoyed being told he needed to get out for his own good. It was more just the fact that his mother was putting him before herself. Such an act had been rare in the Porter family in recent years. After all was said and done, all their actions were judged by the impact they would have had on his father's political career.

Matt thought about Valerie as he pulled into the church parking lot, his eyes scanning for an open spot. There was a parking stall open somewhat close to the doors, but the car in the stall next to it belonged to his father. Viola didn't go out of her way to suggest the spot either.

"Alright, I'll go out to lunch with Val," he smiled

"Good," she smiled back. "There's one over there," her hand pointed to a spot on the right three rows over.

Viola inhaled a deep breath as Matt pulled the car into the stall and set the parking break. He gave her a curious look to which she shook her head. "I flushed the pills this morning," she exhaled nervously.

Matt grabbed her hand and squeezed it firmly, but gently. "It'll be fine," He said, looking at her seriously.

"No," Viola replied, shaking her head. "It's going to be great."

Matt pulled the back of her hand to his mouth, giving it a reassuring kiss, the smell of sweet, warm vanilla assaulting his nostrils as he did. "It sure is."

Matt held his mother's arm securely as they made their way down the center isle of the church, Viola giving a gentle wave and mouthing a hello to friends and acquaintances as they walked between the pews. Matt easily spied his father seated in their normal pew, the holy bible spread open to Romans on his lap.

Richard noticed their arrival. He closed the book tucking it neatly into the slot in front of him and stood "Viola," he nodded his head to his soon to be estranged wife. "Matthew."

"Richard," Matthew said with a cold nod as he helped his mother sit down and took a seat himself. That was the only verbal communication he had with his father during the service. He knew while many fathers would see such an exchange as disrespectful, his father however never really caught onto that train of thought.

He watched the Reverend approach the pulpit, his mother lightly squeezing his hand every so often, as the fathers' hypnotic cadence allowed him to drift into his own thoughts. That's how Matt found religion, a chance to gather with your neighbors and reflect on the choices one had made in their lives.

On this new Sunday, Matt didn't just go through the motions when the Father called, 'let us pray'. He did actually speak to that divine being. His lips didn't move, nor did he for that matter, save for occasionally wiping his sweaty palms on the back of his pants as he asked forgiveness for his actions in the past week.

After communion had been given, and the service concluded, Matt gave his mother a kiss on the cheek and whispered a light goodbye to her as he gave her a quick hug. He didn't even look at his father directly, he simply slipped out of the pew and walked through the people to the doors.

Valerie stood waiting easily against the back fender of her car. She smiled thankfully as Matt came walking up. She ran up to him and captured him in a forceful hug, hoping to fill whatever void had erupted between them. Matt stood still as a statue, crushed in her arms, and unsure of how to react after their last phone conversation. Valerie noticed his hesitation and it caused her a pang of guilt that she fought through, determined not to let a stupid phone call come between what they had shared for a lifetime.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," she said releasing him. Together they hopped into the pony which Valerie had quickly roaring to life, and sped out of the church parking lot. The radio was blaring until Matt reached over and turned it down.

"Did my mom call you?" he questioned her seriously.

Valerie gave him a strange look between glances at the traffic ahead of her. "No, I called this morning. I've been worried Matty, I hadn't seen you in two days, so I asked your mom if we could go to lunch. She declined, but said she would send you. She told me you guys had a family emergency and that's why we've hardly seen you."

Matt laughed to himself sarcastically, though he found nothing funny. "Is that what she called it?" he quipped.

"What happened Matty?" Valerie asked, looking concerned.

"Sometime Thursday night, Mom decided she was through putting up with Dad's shit," he answered, watching the trees fly past as Valerie sped down the street. "He moved out Thursday night."

"Oh," Valerie said, her mind drifting between the two very unpleasant encounters she had experienced with Richard Porter last Thursday. The first at the grocery store and the second on Matt's driveway. She wondered whether or not she should tell Matt about them. Valerie chose to concentrate more on Matt then she did the road or herself, "You okay?" she asked as the car lost speed.

He chuckled again, looking at her sideways. "I didn't think I was going to be, but that wasn't about Mom and Dad. I thought I lost someone that night," he smiled slyly.

Valerie's face transitioned from a look of concern, to one of shame, "I was going to come over to your house so I could talk to you in person, but anger just led me somewhere else."

"You didn't break his other arm did you?" he asked half-laughing.

"No," she cried as she pulled the mustang into the pizza joint and parked.

"Hurt him?" he continued his questioning.

"Not exactly," Valerie held back the complete truth.

"Good, I'd have to kick your ass," he smiled at her, the sun shining off his face making him squint.

Valerie stared admiringly at him, her bottom lip nestled securely between her teeth. Damn her, if Jacob did have a very valid point where Matty and sex appeal were concerned. She stared at him a little too long, catching his attention.

"What?" he asked to the alien gaze Valerie was giving him, a look which made him feel slightly uncomfortable, but more nervous as to its meaning.

"Nothing," she smiled, mentally shaking away the fog in her mind.

Matt gave her a funny, thoughtful look as he climbed out of the car.

Soon they were sitting in the same back corner booth that Valerie and Jacob had sat in on Friday afternoon. Once again, it didn't take long for the same nicely, disgruntled waitress to appear sauntering up to the table side. It was obvious to Valerie that she had invested some of her meager tips on a new bottle of red hair dye, all traces of the grey roots that were blaring only a day ago were gone now.

"What'll it be ki..." her normal banter ceased as she glanced up noticing Valerie.

Slowly, the woman chewed on a piece of gum like a heifer chewing cud, behind lips that wore a definite sneer, and as her hands rested on her hips, she gave Valerie a very accusing look. As she did so, a look of shear terror and realization descended on Valerie's face as she slowly began to shake her head no. What happened next seemed to Valerie to be drawn out in slow motion, like some big gun battle in a movie.

"Weren't you in this same booth foolin' around with a different boy just the day before yesterday?" the woman asked, her charming twang laced with venom.

Valerie's horrified look quickly switched from waitress Ratchet to Matt as she watched in agony and horror as his face changed from bewilderment, to realization, to shock, only to finally rest on anger. Matt didn't need to be a rocket scientist to quickly figure out who the 'other boy' was.

"Can I please talk to you over there," Valerie spoke through gritted teeth, pointing to the other side of the room.

The woman rolled her eyes heavily and returned to smacking her gum as she walked away.

"I'll be right back," she said to Matt who sat in shocked silence.

No sooner had Valerie stepped up to the woman when they heard the bell on the door chime roughly. Both Valerie and the waitress' attention quickly turned to the door only to see Matt's backside darting through it and running away. Valerie turned her attention from the roughly swaying door back to the waitress, her jaw set. "So is complete and totally devastating humiliation the special today?" she asked angrily.

The waitress sneered at Valerie before looking at the still swaying length of bells strapped to the handle of the metal framed glass door, and then back at Valerie.

"Nope honey, looks like you paid full price today," she grinned menacingly before turning from Valerie and heading back into the kitchen.

"Fucking bitch," Valerie grunted to herself as she returned to the table only to find that Matt had taken her keys with him when he ran out. "Son of a..." she mouthed as she ran out of the parlor.

Her feet carried her to the nearest payphone which was to the left of the front door to the Pizza Joint. Digging in her pockets, Valerie produced a hand full of change that she shoved quickly into the slot on the payphone and quickly dialed Jacob's phone number.

"Answer the phone," she grunted impatiently at the ringing tone screaming in her ear.

"Hello," Jacob's voice sounded from the receiver.

"Matt knows!" she yelled into the phone causing Jacob to pull the receiver away from his ear in an effort to save his eardrum.

"What?" he questioned dumbly.

"He fucking ran off with my keys," she spoke quickly in a panic. "You need to get to him, he's probably going home."

"Who told him?" Jacob questioned anxiety starting to build in his chest.

"That stupid fucking Nazi bitch of a waitress!" Valerie shrieked into the receiver, spinning her back to the payphone. "I think I have a crow bar in my trunk," she gazed across the way at her car realizing once again that Matt had run off with her car keys. "He took my fucking keys," Valerie screamed again at no one in general.

"Valerie," Jacob yelled into the receiver as he did a hopping dance across his room, trying to pull on a sock as he cradled the handset with his shoulder while looking for his shoes. "Valerie!" he shouted again.

"What," she grumbled sounding in hopeless anger. "God I could rip every red dyed hair from her balding head." she grumbled.

"Do you need me to call anyone?" he asked speaking of her predicament.

"No," she sighed, her back collapsing on the rickety payphone stand. "I'm gonna call my Dad. He'll send Clark out with the shop tow truck or his keys."

"You're sure?" he inquired one last time, concerned and not wanting to leave her stranded at the restaurant.

"Yes," she huffed, releasing a long sigh.

"Alright, I'm going to go wait for him at his house. I'll call you later." Jacob clicked the end button on the phone and tossed in onto his disheveled bed.

Valerie slammed the phone down only to pick it up again and deposit more random coinage, dialing a different number, her voice morphed from pissed, to sweet and innocent, "Hey Daddy..."