Sky's The Limit - 9. Chapter 9

The next week or so was pretty quiet. Dad had slipped back into his routine of working all the time and was seldom home. I spent most of the time hanging around Dex and Lori. I didn't have "that talk" with Lori yet. I decided to let her tell me she wanted to go out or something and then just let her down easy. I'll do the "I would rather be friends than lovers" thing with her and hope I didn't hurt her feelings.

I had talked to Sky on the phone several times, but mostly we wrote emails or chatted online. I even bought a cheap web cam so we could see each other. Let me tell ya, he is hot to watch jackin off, but it was driving me nuts. I wanted to jump through that computer screen and devour him every time we started one of those sessions. Virtual sex sucks. It just really ain't the same thing.

My sister was due in the next week. I had resolved to tell her my secret. Everything . . . well almost everything. Sarah and I never had the regular brother-sister relationship. She was more like a second mom. She was always very protective, I never remember us having a major fight. I know I got on her nerves some when I was a little kid, but she would usually just scold me in a motherly way and that would be it. I remember one time, when we had just moved here and I was in first grade, this kid named Doug Morris was a third grader and was picking on me on the way home from school because of my size. Sarah heard it, came over and slapped the shit out of him. He didn't bully me again for a long time.

Anyway, I knew I couldn't keep these emotions bottled up. I told Sky I was going to tell her - he was cool with it and wished me luck. . Dad and I went to pick her up at the airport in Huntsville. We were talking non-stop all the way home, trying to catch up on everything. Her career was really taking off. She had been featured in several fashion magazines and had traveled for shoots and shows all over the U.S., the Bahamas, Hawaii, Mexico, Brazil, Europe. She was scheduled to be in Japan and other parts of Asia in the fall. Dad and I told her about our trip but it seemed kind of boring after her adventures. I was really thrilled for her though.

That night at dinner dad gave her the news that he was dating again. I could tell she was about as thrilled as I was, but she wasn't as vocal about it. Actually, very little was said.

The next day, with Dad at work, Sarah and I had time to visit. When I walked into the kitchen, she was sitting there sipping coffee. "Morning, sis." I said smiling at her.

"Hi, hot stuff. You know, you get cuter every time I see you. You're really turning into a good lookin' young man."

"Thanks, sis" I said blushing. "I guess it's in the genes. You are absolutely gorgeous you know."

"Name of the game, Jonah. You never know when the cameras are on. I'm even starting to get my own paparazzi. I think people are starting to recognize my face from magazines and think I'm some sort of celebrity. They don't know my name - YET" she said smiling.

"They will sis. I have no doubt of that" I smiled at her. She reached up rubbed my hair.

"So, Sis, I'm still waiting on my invite to New York" I said.

"I know Jon. (pronounced jone) I've been really busy and I still have four roommates, though we hardly ever see each other. I'm hunting for another place, but rent in Manhattan is unreal. I've got a lead on something in the village that sounds really nice. It won't be available for at least another month though. I promise that as soon as I'm settled in a less crowded space I'll bring you up and we'll do the town. You have got to see this new show "Wicked"

"Sounds cool" I said. "Tell me about the people you work with."

"Well, my agent is a prince, but he's working me to death. He gets me all the best shoots and shows, but they're often on really short notice. Sometimes I fill in for more experienced models who back out at the last minute or whatever. I am getting recognized, and now the designers and photographers are starting to ask for me because I never turn down work unless it's something seedy. I do have standards and my agent is cool with that and knows what they are. He really is watching out for me. Most of the designers are really neat. Ninety-nine percent are almost stereotypically gay, but they're all great. They seem to thrive on making everything drama though." She giggled.

"You deal with a lot of gay people?" I asked.

"Yeah, everyday. It's really not an issue Jon. Some people you know are gay, some you suspect. Nobody really tries to hide anything. Actually, some of my best friends and one of my roommates are gay. It's just part of who they are. It doesn't define them as a human being."

"Oh, that's cool" I said calmly. My heart was jumping though. I figure that she could and would accept the bomb I was fixing to drop, but I wanted to change the subject a bit first and ease into it. She gave me the perfect opening though.

"Jon, now tell me what's going on with you."

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Who is she" Sarah asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"The whole time I've been back you've been glowing. I haven't seen you this happy since, well... since before mom got sick. You're in love. Now who is she?"

"I met someone down at Gulf Shores, and yeah, I'm hopelessly in love."

"Tell me about her" she said smiling.

"First, you have to promise your most sacred promise you won't tell anyone" I said.

"Jonah Tucker Knight, I'm your sister. You tell me it's a secret it stays a secret. You know that. Don't be so childish. Now tell" she demanded. My sister is the only person in the world other than my mom that would use all three of my names like that. Tucker was my mom's maiden name. I'm not even sure Dex knows that except that he was bound to have heard my mom use it sometimes.

Deep breath here. "Well, Sis. It's not a girl. It's a guy. I'm gay."

Her jaw dropped and she just stared at me for a moment with an absolutely blank expression.

"Sis, did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I just had to comprehend a moment." She said. "How long have you known, I mean when did you figure out . . .?"

"That I was gay? It was before mom got sick. I was going to tell her, but when she got sick. I didn't have the heart to put that on her too." I said starting to cry.

She stood up and came over to me and put her arm around me. "Jonah, it's ok really. I was just caught off guard with this. I really can't say that I'm shocked though. I kinda wish you had told mom. She would have totally been cool with it and she was a lot stronger than you think. She might have even found a way that dad would have accepted it. I don't know now. I'm assuming he doesn't know - I probably would have heard the screaming all the way in New York."

"No, and I'm scared shitless what will happen if he finds out."

"Dad can be pretty intimidating with that military thing he does. I think the ‘Don't ask don't tell' thing might be best for you for a while" she said smiling at me.

"Sis, why do you think mom would have been so cool with it?"

"Jonah I just know. It's a very long story that I will tell you one day. But right now I want you to promise me that if Dad finds out or something bad happens because of this you will call me. Anytime. I'll give you the number of a service that can reach me 24/7, anywhere in the world. I'll be there for you, and I will be able to help. You have options you don't even know about. OK? Promise?"

"I promise" I said smiling back at her.

"Now," she said sitting back down, "tell me about Mr. Perfect."

"Oh, sis, he's only a year older than me. His name is Sky Blue. It's short for Skyler, but is that sexy or what? He's gorgeous, he's smart, he's funny, he's gentle and sweet, he's considerate. . . " I started gushing.

She started laughing. "Slow down, Jonah. Back up and tell me how you met, and please tell me his family is loaded and he has a straight older brother."

I started laughing too. "We met on the beach. I think he noticed me ogling him and almost hit me with a Frisbee. His family is loaded, and he does have an older brother, and I guess he's straight - I never asked. Ya wanna see Sky?"

I took her upstairs to my computer and opened the folder where I had saved the Adam's photos.

"God, Jon. He is gorgeous. I could get him a job modeling. You two do look incredible together. You complement each other."

We talked about everything that happened. Not every sordid detail, but I did admit that we had sex, incredible sex. She made me promise that I was doing the safe sex thing. I did and told her that we were, which was the truth. I also omitted the part about the two rednecks. I didn't want her to worry.

"Jon, I so happy you found someone like Sky. I can't wait to meet him. I'm still worried about you though" she said.

"Why?"

"Jonah, being gay in New York and being gay in small town Alabama are two totally different things. You could get hurt. I know you can handle yourself, but there are people who delight in taunting, even hurting gay people. It's like it's some sort of sport. It's open season on gays down here.. Please be careful, and I really meant what I said about calling me."

"I know sis, and I will. I'm not exactly planning on going out and yelling it from the church steeple or anything. Like you said, don't ask, don't tell."

"Ok. One question though. What about Dex and Lori" she asked. "Do you think you should tell them?"

"I've thought about it. Dex just told me the other day that Lori likes me, you know, like that, and I don't want to string her along. I don't want to hurt her either. I've just gotta do it when it feels right. Same with Dex. I don't think he would blab or intentionally do anything to hurt me, but he does hang out with the jock crowd some. He'll probably make the football team this fall. I don't want to make him have to choose between his jock friends and me."

"Jonah, you've put a lot of thought into this decision. I'm very proud of you. I trust you to do what you think is right."

We spent the rest of the morning on different topics, mostly Dad and this dating thing. I was right. She was just as uncomfortable about it as I was. I love my sister. I didn't get as much time with her on that visit as I had wanted. She had become something of a local celebrity. Her old friends were always calling her and monopolizing a lot of her time. She didn't mind though. In fact, she was enjoying her celebrity. She was treated like a VIP anytime we went out. Dad was kind of impressed by that, I think.

The rest of the summer went by fairly quickly. Dex, Lori, and I hung out at the usual places, and did all the usual stuff we had done every summer since we were kids. Something was different though. We had outgrown many of the things we had enjoyed the previous summers. Not that we were bored, but so much of it seemed childish. Innocence lost, I suppose. I turned more to my music in my spare time. On some days, I would spend hours at the piano. I was trained to read music through years of lessons, but I had long ago learned that I could also hear a song a few times and then play it. The more I played, the easier the music seemed to come.

About a week before it was time for school to start, Dad came in from work late one evening.

"Jonah, I've got to go out of town for two or three days on business." He said as we sat down to the leftovers I warmed up.

"I guess you want me to stay with grandpa again, huh?" I asked.

"No, I thought you might like to go with me. I've got to go to Jackson for some meetings with David" he said.

I almost choked on whatever it was I had in my mouth. "Dad, that would be great! When?"

"Day after tomorrow. I don't think I'll have time to take you to Birmingham or Huntsville to do school shopping this year. They have some pretty decent malls in the Jackson area. We can do that, or I can give you my credit card and you can let Skyler take you around."

"Yeah we could do that. I really appreciate it, Dad."

As soon as we finished supper I ran upstairs to call Sky. He was as ecstatic as I was. The next morning I packed my bag as soon as I got up. The day began to creep by. Dex was gone somewhere and I was bored. I started playing the piano and then I remembered a song on my Marc Broussard CD - The Beauty of Who You Are. I want to sing it for Sky. I started to play till I had the melody down. There was a lot of improv, as it wasn't really written for solo piano, but I thought it sounded good. Then I started singing along with it.

[ author's note - http://www.hotget.com/music/Marc-Broussard-The-Beauty-Of-Who-You-Are,294601.html - copy and paste url to hear song ]

There's a soft sweet space on the back of your neck
Smells like rain
There's a way you look at me baby
Heals my pain

I've studied every inch of your body
Baby what's on your mind
The touch of your skin just pulls me in
Every single time

There's a silent conversation
Filled with hidden revelations in your eyes.

Baby I'm so into you
Every whisper from your soul to my heart
Baby I know its true
You're a sweet little mystery sent to me from the stars
And that's the beauty of who you are

There's a faith you're savin' for a rainy day
I could use right now
There's a way you move my soul to sing
Only you know how
You are a sensual salvation
You're the holiest temptation
Baby I'm never, never, never gonna be the same

Baby I'm so into you
Every whisper from your soul to my heart
Baby I know its true
You're a sweet little mystery sent to me from the stars
And that's the beauty of who you are

I can't explain it or begin to conceive
All I know is that you make me believe

Baby I'm so into you
Every whisper from your soul to my heart
Baby I know its true
You're a sweet little mystery sent to me from the stars
And that's the beauty of who you are

© 2004 Marc Broussard

When I finished I heard someone clapping. I turned and Lori was standing there, though she didn't normally just walk in. I was more than a little embarrassed. Outside of chorus or church choir, I was self-conscious about my singing. "I didn't know you could sing like that. That was awesome."

"Thanks" I said blushing.

"Who were you thinking about with that song? She must be special."

"No one." I lied.

"Jonah, don't lie to me. You don't get teary-eyed thinking of no one. It wasn't me, was it?" She asked looking somewhat dejected. "I'm sorry," She continued, "I'm being stupid thinking someone like you would feel like that for someone like me. I can't believe I just said that."

I hadn't really realized that I was teary eyed, but I was. Now, not for Sky, but for Lori. Lori was really as close a friend as Dex. We had shared secrets since we were little kids. Dex and I had always treated her like one of the guys, because that's the way she wanted it. Dex was right. I had noticed that had changed. Maybe I was trying damn hard to ignore it. No, I know I was trying damn hard to ignore it. I didn't want to think of Lori like that. She's been too good of a friend to mess it up.

"Lori, you don't understand. You and Dex are my best friends. I want to keep it that way. It's not that I don't like you. It's not that I don't think you're pretty. You are. You're very pretty. I just like things the way they are between us now. Please understand that" I said.

She started smiling at me. "You do think I'm pretty?"

"Very." I said.

She seemed to think about it a moment and then stepped over and gave me a kiss on my cheek. "It's really not me?" She asked.

"No," I smiled shaking my head.

"You're not gonna tell me are you?" She asked.

"Do you need to know?"

"Yep. So I can break her neck if she breaks your heart."

"I don't think you could do that" I said.

"Why not? You know I used to could beat up most of the boys in our class." She giggled.

"Because he's much bigger than you are" I said holding my breath, my hands shaking.

Her eyes went totally blank. She looked at me with a frown. I think at first she was waiting on me to tell her it was a joke. "It's not a joke, Lori."

"You mean you're . . . You mean you're in love with a guy?"

"Yeah" I said turning back around looking down at my keyboard and avoiding looking at her. There was a long pause. I was starting to shake all over, and I was really getting nervous. I wiped my eyes with my hands sniffed audibly. I felt her hands on my shoulders and her chin resting on top of my head. I felt her lightly kiss the top of my head. "I always loved you Jonah, and I always will."

"You're not angry, or hurt, or disgusted?" I asked, my eyes tearing up again.

"No, you are who you are. Thanks for telling me. I thought there was something wrong with me" she said softly, moving around to sit on the piano bench next to me. I still couldn't look at her.

"Who else knows?" she asked.

"Just Sarah, and of course him" I said.

"Does him have a name?" She asked with a chuckle.

"Sky" I said softly.

"Sky?" she asked.

I chuckled "Sky Blue".

"You're making this up. I ought to kill you, you son of a bitch." She said laughing.

"No, I swear to God. It's short for Skyler Blue. It's really his name. Wanna see a picture?"

I pulled out the wallet size photo of us on the beach - not the kissy one - and showed it to her.

"Damn, he is gorgeous, Jonah. I'm jealous."

Ok, now this was getting a little weird. A girl that just told me she had the hots for me is jealous of my boyfriend. Oh well, guess I need to get used to it.

"Promise me something, Lori." I said.

"Sure."

"Swear you won't tell anyone, especially Dex. I'm going to tell him eventually. I'm not ready, and I don't think he is either. If dad ever finds out I'm dead. Please?" I begged.

"Don't worry, Jonah. I would never ever do anything to hurt you. I do love ya. I meant it" she said squeezing my hand. "If you ever change your mind about this gay thing, I mean, you know, will ya let me know?"

"Thanks, I do love you, Lori. Just not . . . like that." I said softly.