The Mantis Variant - Book One - 30. Chapter 30 - Misery

Lahari could not remember the last time tears streamed from her yellow eyes, but they now poured down her cheeks. She and Ilya ran with the others up the stairs, and as they arrived in the meeting chamber, they heard a terrible rumbling from down below. Ilya collapsed to a chair and sobbed into her hands, as the bird woman started giving orders.

"You three," she said, pointing at several people, "head down to the netherswamp. You two, go to the werefolk. A few of you need to check purgatory, even though it's not in a good state; there were people working in there. Get everyone to the uppermost chambers of the underground, and get them there quick," she demanded.

Lahari fell to her knees in front of Ilya, leaned her head down on her lap, and wrapped her arms around the other woman's waist. As they cried together, Ilya gently stroked Lahari's back where no spines protruded from her skin, and the two shared a moment of sorrow.

"Everyone else, get upstairs now!" the bird woman shouted. She pointed to another hallway, and the remaining Biological Shifts headed in its direction.

Lahari rose to her feet, and Ilya took her hands. The two gave each other sympathetic expressions, and even through Lahari's unusual appearance, Ilya could see that she was also heartbroken.

The people who were not sent to alert others of the evacuation made their way down a narrow passage to another flight of stairs. Before long, most of the inhabitants of the underground were in upper rooms close to the surface.

There, they waited.

After a few uneventful hours, several people decided to venture below. They needed to know if the rising magma was still a threat, and they also wanted to assess the devastation to the underground.

"I need to go tell Dozi," Ilya said to Lahari.

"And I want to see my fathers," Lahari added. "Come with me."

She wrapped herself in the cloak Agrell gave her, and a fresh sob wracked her body. She choked it back, but saw that tears were again streaming down Ilya's face.

"I'm sorry she's gone," Lahari whispered.

Ilya let out an inadvertent wail. "Agrell was always the best of us," she said. "Some people, and you're not the only one," Ilya added with an apologetic shrug, "who struggled seeing beyond her past. She died to save us," she whispered.

Lahari now reached out and took Ilya's hand. "Agrell sacrificed herself so that we all might survive."

Ilya nodded.

The two women made their way to a secret exit that let them into the basement of an old Oselian military structure. Pipes above their head were rusted, and there was a layer of dust on the empty shelves. Whatever used to be stored in the room was either used up or stolen long ago.

The two young women arrived at street level, opened a back door to the building that led to a dark alley, and Lahari and Ilya slipped out into the Teshon City streets. The sun was just starting to rise.

They were on the opposite side of the Spritehood from where Lahari's fathers lived, but the city was still asleep, and they quickly made their way through the quiet neighborhood. It was not long before they reached and entered the apothecary.

Ilya and Lahari went through a tearful exchange with the two men, as they talked about what Agrell did for them.

The mystic requested of Ilya, "Please bring Dozi back here. We will hold a celebration of remembrance."

Ilya agreed that she would, and she left Lahari in the care of her saddened fathers.

She walked back out under the rising sun. A fishmonger was setting up his cart, and one of the local coffeehouses unshuddered its windows. The barista waved at Ilya. There was a pair of children selling flowers from a basket to the early morning folk. The city was starting to wake up, and fresh tears burned Ilya’s eyes.

No one knew what happened that night; no one knew. No one knew that Agrell was gone. People were all going about their boring lives, and now Agrell was just gone.

Ilya’s sobs drew several awkward glances, but a few minutes later, she slipped behind the old fan cage and through the hidden entrance to the basement that she had begun to think of as home.

Dozi awoke at Ilya's return. She stretched and yawned when she saw who it was.

"Where're the others?"

Ilya sat on the end of her bed. Her tears flickered in the candlelight.

"What’s wrong?" Dozi asked. She sat bolt upright. "What happened?"

"I need to tell you something," Ilya began, and her voice was full of grief.

"What?! Tell me!"

"It's Agrell," Ilya said, but her voice broke, and she was suddenly overcome by woe.

"Oh, no," Dozi whispered.

Ilya took a quavering breath, and between her sobs, she cried out, "She's dead!" Her face fell to her hands and she wailed.

Dozi tentatively brought her hand to Ilya's back and said, "That can't be." Tears welled in her eyes, and they trickled down her cheeks. "No," she said, defiant to the loss of her friend, but then the tears flowed.

She just started to consider Agrell family, and now that was all gone.

"She’s dead?" Dozi asked in a small voice.

The two women sat crying together in the low light of the basement for a few minutes before Dozi spoke up again.

"Agrell was only in town a little over a week. She barely got to experience life outside of the cult."

"I didn't even think of that," Ilya replied. "You knew Agrell better than any of the rest of us. You were closest to her," she added. "The mystic and Theolan want us to come back to their place, so we can all mourn her together."

"Tell me what happened," Dozi requested.

Ilya recounted everything that she could remember from the rescue mission in the Messiah Tower. She told Dozi about Lahari's powers, and their escape with the prisoners before heading back underground. She also tried to describe a number of the Biological Shifts who possessed particularly memorable appearances. They even discussed method of disposing of the dead for people in the underground.

Ilya then told Dozi about the object that fell from the chimney and caused the underground eruption. Both of them were again brought to tears as Ilya shared what she saw of Agrell's sacrifice, and her flight with Lahari up from the deadly bowls of the underground. Eventually, her tale concluded with their arrival at the apothecary.

When Ilya finished speaking, Dozi tilted her head to one side and then looked over at the space that led to her storage area where the cold air was still blowing into her home.

"I think that I should be dead," she commented. "It sounds to me like the crack in the bedrock that Agrell used to get down to the room with the fire well, should have let the poisonous gases from the volcano right up into my home while I was asleep."

"But she said that the crack also led out to the water," Ilya replied. "Maybe the fumes were syphoned that way, instead of seeping in here."

"Lucky," Dozi mumbled.

Both of them fell silent again, and their eyes sparkled as tears threatened to pour down their cheeks.

Dozi cleared her throat hard. "Come on," she said. "Let's go be sad with friends," and they headed up into the glow of the morning.

Theolan was just coming out of a door in the back room, as the two women arrived at the shop. He was carrying a dusty bottle of champagne. The mystic's eyes were red from already shedding tears, but as soon as he saw Ilya and Dozi, he burst anew with fresh sobs. He rushed over and embraced one and then the other.

"Hello, girls," Theolan said in a somber tone. He was wearing a smile that did not make it up to his eyes; the expression looked fake, but Dozi and Ilya knew exactly how he felt.

None of them could stop their sorrow. None of them wanted to stop it, and they released their misery together.

Lahari placed five champagne flutes on the countertop, and Theolan began to fill them. The bubbly liquid foamed to the top of the glasses but only trickled over the lip of one.

They cried together, laughed together, talked about the prior week and a half as if it were an entire lifetime. For Agrell, being away from the cult, it was like an entire new life. The five celebrated her through the afternoon and past sundown, and as supper approached, Theolan insisted that they all remain together for the meal.

"Despite where she came from and what she went through," Ilya said, "those things didn't define her. In fact, Agrell was the opposite of what several of us first thought of her, and I for one regret having judged her."

"I think we'll have none of that," Dozi insisted. "Agrell would not want you to hold those thoughts in your heart, especially not when thinking about her. Agrell was not where she came from; she was not the Lovegood cult."

"I wish we could go burn it to the ground," Lahari said through her teeth.

Her father turned to her and replied gently. "That would likely only make the followers more zealous."

"I also think," Dozi added, "that Agrell would not want us filling our hearts with hatred, not while we are remembering her."

She continued. "Up in Bluewood, where I'm from in the mountains, we would make dashai for the people we love. Do you know what they are, dashai? It's made from some sort of paste that solidifies, but it's lightweight."

"Oh, yes!" Theolan replied. "I've never heard that term before, but I bet you're talking about glivrock."

"Of course!" his husband added. He turned to Dozi. "I have the ingredients to make a batch. Why don't you tell us about the dashee?" the mystic attempted.

"Dashai," Dozi clarified.

"Dashai, thank you, my dear," he dutifully repeated. "Perhaps you can tell us how your village made theirs."

Dozi nodded. "We use a large round metal plate with a lip around the edge, and fill it with a thin layer of wet dashai. To harden it, we place it over hot coals, but before it solidifies, we each press our palm print into it. The celebrated person's name is written at the center, and the hands surround it forever. Unless you drop it," she added. "Our neighbor dropped one that was made for their kid. The thing broke apart and they were not able to repair it."

"We'll take good care of it," Theolan assured her.

"All of our hands should be in it," Dozi said with an assertive tone. She looked around the room from one person to the next. "I think Agrell only experienced twelve days of freedom," and her voice cracked, "before she sacrificed herself." Dozi cleared her throat hard. "But in that short time," she continued before anyone else could interrupt, "she became fast friends with all of us, and she didn't care who we were or what we'd done; Agrell made us all her family."

Dozi looked at Ilya. "When we found you at my mushroom cave, you were a damsel in distress, and Agrell was your rescuer. She was someone who everyone else saw as a cannibal, a Messiah, but Agrell was determined to save the life,” and she looked at Ilya, "of a Shift." Dozi chuckled. "I think if I told that to most people, they wouldn't believe me, but Agrell was quite fond of you Ilya."

As Dozi spoke, the mystic collected the ingredients to mix, and Theolan grabbed a rectangular metal baking tray.

"I know it's not round," he said apologetically. He placed it onto the counter next to a large bowl that his husband was filling with several liquid and powder items. " I do think all our hands will fit, and we can pop it into the oven to harden."

Dozi smiled. "I think that'll work perfectly," she replied. She then turned and did her best to look at Lahari, her strange face, her yellow eyes. "Agrell treated you in a way that few of us normal people have the capacity." She then caught herself and Dozi dropped her gaze.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, and she looked back up at Lahari. "I didn't mean that like it came out, I'm sorry," she repeated.

Lahari replied, "It’s okay. I haven’t been normal for years."

"But thank you, Dozi" Theolan added. "It’s important to correct ourselves, to help us grow and become more understanding."

She nodded, took a breath, and continued speaking to Lahari. "Agrell wanted to help you, and to help an entire group of people who would have hated her if they knew who she was."

"Some of them did," Lahari said.

"You," Dozi added with strong emphasis on the word, and she stared into Lahari’s yellow eyes, "are part of Agrell's family, too. You belong with us, Lahari. Your handprint needs to be next to ours."

Theolan helped his husband pour the contents of the bowl into the baking tray.

"Let's heat this up for a minute, then press our hands in it and write her name," the mystic recommended.

Dozi turned to him. "I know that Agrell looked up to you. You were like a father figure that she'd never had, and I think she felt a special affinity for you when she learned about Lahari, and how accepting you were of her." Dozi looked back at Lahari with a smile. The young woman was still mildly terrifying, but Dozi wanted to accept her in the same way that Agrell did.

She brought her gaze to Theolan. "Agrell may have felt like your husband was fatherly to her, but I think she saw you like a big brother. She was so upset after you got beat up, and she mentioned how much it bothered her to us." Dozi indicated Ilya. "Agrell liked you both a lot," she added to the men. "Your hands also need to be in the dashai."

The mystic removed the tray from the heat, and each of them pressed their palms into the lukewarm surface. Sorrow caused fresh tears to spring from their eyes, as the perfect impression of five side by side palm prints formed a line in the dashai.

Dozi wiped her eyes, as the mystic handed her one of the numerous twigs that he sold in his shop for incantations and potions. She used it to spell out Agrell's name above the tips of the fingers, and they returned the tray to the oven.

Theolan dabbed the corner of his eyes and blew his nose.

Lahari and her father shared a handkerchief.

Ilya wiped her tears on her sleeve.

"It only takes a few minutes to become rock hard," Dozi said with a sniffle.

Then she choked, "I didn't even get to say goodbye to her," and Dozi was overcome by sobs. She cried into her hands, and the others gathered around her.

Theolan and the mystic hugged her on either side, and Ilya and Lahari joined the mournful embrace. The five spent a quiet tearful moment together before they separated.

Dozi cleared her throat hard. "The dashai is probably done," she said, trying to force her sadness down.

The mystic removed it from the heat.

"Let it cool and then it should come right out," Dozi instructed. "We should attach a hook to the back and hang it in the front of your shop, if you've got a spot for it."

"I'm sure we can find a nice home for it," the mystic replied.

"It looks good," Dozi added.

"Agrell," she said with a smile, but then she gritted her teeth and added under her breath, "fuck," as a fresh wave of tears burned her eyes. "I miss her already."✪