The Brilliant Boy Billionaire - 31. Breaking in My Car

Following the directions on the GPS to the coordinates my boyfriend gave me, I drove my new car west at first, then south until we turned off on a tiny farm road. We reached a line of trees, at which point the pavement disappeared and along with it, directions from the GPS. Shaun told me to proceed into the trees on a one-lane dirt road and then to turn off onto what looked like nothing more than a footpath with just enough room between trees for the car to pass. Ultimately, we came to a secluded spot right on the water.

“Why don’t you open the sunroof and lower all the windows,” Shaun suggested, “and while we’re at it, let’s lose your clothes.”

“What if someone sees us?” I asked in alarm.

Laughing, Shaun responded, “No one’s gonna see us J.J. I scouted this spot out last week. The property has long been abandoned, and the spot’s well-hidden from the road and from the river. We can fuck each other blind and no one will know.” As if to prove his point, he toed off his flip-flops and slipped down his speedos, then stepped out of the car. Walking around to the driver’s side, he opened my door and extended his hand, pulling me out of the car.

Reaching for the hem of my shirt, he pulled it up and exposed my torso, so I lifted my arms over my head. Shaun pulled my shirt up and off my body, throwing it on the back seat. Loosening my belt, he hooked his thumbs under my waistband, then pulled my shorts and boxers down together and allowed them to fall to my ankles. Before I was even aware of what was happening, he was down on his knees and had pulled me into his mouth, making skillful use of his tongue. I didn’t stand a chance against his relentless assault. I whimpered as I unloaded into his mouth.

Once I’d recovered enough to talk, I responded, “Well that was unexpected. I want to reciprocate.”

“Save that thought for later,” Shaun responded. “You spent your whole morning at the DMV and then you picked up your car and came straight here. I bet you haven’t eaten since breakfast. I’d rather you not eat my meat under those circumstances ’cause you might not be satisfied with just my cum.”

“I haven’t had anything to eat since early this morning, and frankly, I’m starved,” I acknowledged. “Please tell me you’ve packed some lunch in that picnic basket.”

“You know it,” Shaun answered. “If you’ll get back into your seat and open the sunroof and windows, I’ll get things ready.” I pulled off my sneakers and socks and threw them in back along with my shorts and boxers.

As I got back into the car and proceeded to open everything up, Shaun retrieved the picnic basket from the back seat and set it down in front on top of the center console and then sat back down in the passenger seat. Opening the top of the basket, he handed me a wine glass and got out a bottle of champagne, much to my shock, and proceeded to open it with a loud pop. Pouring some of the bubbling liquid into my glass, he clarified, “Non-alcoholic champagne,” and proceeded to pour himself a glass, too. “To a driver’s license and your first car,” he toasted with his raised glass.

“To the perfect boyfriend,” I toasted, and we drank the fizzy golden liquid down.

Next, Shaun withdrew a pair of red melamine dinner plates from the picnic basket and handed me one of them. “A red plate to match your red car,” he commented. He reached in and withdrew a zip-lock bag containing a large sandwich on rye bread and handed it to me. I opened the bag and placed the sandwich on my plate, by which time Shaun was handing me an open serving bowl with homemade potato salad in it. He handed me a red-handled serving spoon, and I proceeded to serve a large portion onto my plate. I handed both items back to Shaun, who served himself and then snapped a lid back onto the serving bowl and returned it to the picnic basket.

Next came a bowl of coleslaw, followed by a container with whole pickles. The coleslaw was a huge surprise, as it was like the coleslaw we used to eat in Southern Indiana. It was very finely chopped and dark green in color. Sensing my surprise, Shaun confirmed, “The coleslaw is from a recipe I found online, from the Nashville House in Indiana. I actually thought about making cold fried chicken and fried biscuits to go with it, but then I thought about how I would feel about eating that stuff in my brand-new car and thought better of it.”

Handing me a set of red-handled, real stainless silverware, he asked, “What do you want to drink? I have Coke, Sprite, Snapple Iced Tea and bottled water.” I’d never gotten around to tasting Snapple, so I decided to try it. I lifted half of the sandwich to my mouth and took a bite and, oh-my-god, it was incredible. It was half a chicken breast, for sure, but the seasonings were unlike anything I’d ever tasted, and there was some kind of cheese that was creamier than anything I’d ever had. “Oh, my god. Did you make this?” I asked, and Shaun nodded. “What’s in it?”

“Chicken breast stuffed with melted Brie and pesto with cranberry relish and a dash of nutmeg,” Shaun reported. So that was what I was tasting.

“You have a job waiting for you at Panera’s corporate headquarters for life, Shaun,” I chided.

“Shut up and eat, J.J.,” came his retort. I did just that as I flipped him the bird. The sandwich, the coleslaw, the potato salad and even the pickle were all fantastic. I liked the Snapple, too.

After we’d both finished, Shaun handed me a sealed red bowl and took an identical bowl for himself. I opened the bowl and found inside a crumbly crust. When I looked up, Shaun was holding up a bowl of whipped cream, so I spooned some on top. Digging in, it was a pumpkin cobbler, the likes of which I’d never tasted. The picnic was truly memorable.

Putting everything away in the picnic basket, we moved to the back seat, where there was much more room for making out. “Play My Finest Work Yet by Andrew Bird,” Shaun suggested. I didn’t even have to find and select it; the car responded to Shaun’s request directly, and the album started to play. Shaun and I proceeded to make out like crazy. I wasn’t sure if Shaun had packed peanut butter, but he undoubtedly realized that anything like that could’ve really wrecked the beautiful white leather seats. Making out in the nude on those leather seats, right out in the open, was stimulating enough.

We made out forever as we groped and touched each other all over. Pulling my face away a bit, I stuck out just the very tip of my tongue and licked at the sides of the base of the nose, where it meets the face and is slightly oily. For some reason, that spot was very sexy to me, but Shaun just giggled. Then, for the first time I noticed some stubble on his cheeks, and I commented, “You’ve started shaving!”

“Yeah, it was really getting noticeable,” he replied. “It’s the curse of having black hair.”

“The mustache is noticeable,” I added, “and it looks good on you.”

Laughing, he replied, “It still looks more like peach fuzz, I think. It’ll probably be another year before it looks like a real mustache.”

“I’ll definitely wanna be around to see it, boyfriend,” I chimed in.

“I may well already be on my way to Stanford or M.I.T. by this time next year,” Shaun reminded me. Talk about spoiling the mood!

“I’ll just have to go with you,” I responded.

“Let’s just enjoy what we have now and leave worrying about the future until the future,” Shaun responded.

“Words of wisdom,” I said, but there was just a little bit of nagging doubt in my mind that Shaun didn’t really see us as being a couple for the long term. Perhaps I should be more cautious in giving him my heart until it became clear we’d be getting married someday.

We went back to an intense make-out session, and I started kissing my way down Shaun’s jawline and then nibbled at his collarbone on both sides. I lifted up his arm and nuzzled my nose in his armpit, inhaling his scent deeply. Noticing a pungent, musky scent that wasn’t unpleasant, I asked, “You didn’t use any deodorant today, did you?”

“Last time I used it was yesterday morning after my shower,” he confirmed. “I knew we’d be spending our time together and thought you’d appreciate it.”

“Definitely,” I replied. “I love your armpits but don’t like getting a load of deodorant on my tongue.” I demonstrated my appreciation by licking aggressively under both of his arms, then moved on to nibbling and sucking his nipples.

“Is there enough room in here for a 69?” Shaun asked.

Looking at the seat, at first I thought there was no way it could work, but then I thought outside the box, literally. “We could always open the doors, but here’s a thought. Why don’t you lie on your back with your butt up near the door and your feet sticking out the window?” Shaun got into that position, which turned out to be perfect. I propped myself up over him with my knees on the seat and my feet sticking out the window on my side. That gave us both access to each other’s junk, and we quickly took advantage of it. There wasn’t enough space to do any rimming, but I had no trouble massaging his prostate as I went down on him. Picking up on my lead, Shaun reciprocated, and we managed to find a rhythm that rocked the car to the rhythm of the music playing in the background. It was kinda cool, actually. We’d both gotten to be pretty good at bringing each other to the brink and then backing down, so we went at it ’til the end of the Andrew Bird album, followed by Vampire Weekend’s Father of the Bride and had just started Ryan Pollie’s self-titled album, when neither of us could stand it anymore.

Coming up for air, Shaun was the first to speak. “Damn, it keeps getting better and better. That was the best yet, and we didn’t even need any peanut butter.”

“Do you think the peanut butter’s over the top?” I asked as pulled myself up and sat at one end of the back seat, while Shaun did the same.

“You’re kidding, right?” Shaun replied. “I’ve never done anything that was so much fun in my life.”

“Beyond a doubt,” I agreed. “So, have you had enough, or do you want to try something else?”

Instantly, Shaun’s dick sprang back to life, and he responded, “Do you think there’s enough room for you to ride me?”

My own dick sprang to full attention at the mention of that, and I replied, “I’m sure we can find a way to make it work. The only thing is that I didn’t bring any condoms or lube with me.”

“Fortunately,” Shaun responded as he reached in front into the picnic basket and pulled out the requested items, “I did.”

Our making out and foreplay went on forever, and I totally lost track of the time. I could tell that the sun was getting lower in the sky as we reclined the front passenger seat as far as we could, and I finally lowered myself onto my boyfriend’s pole. I could imagine what it must have looked like from the outside, with my head and shoulders sticking out of the sunroof, but it gave me the room I needed for my wild ride. I prolonged the agony as long as Shaun could stand it until I finally allowed him to unload inside of me. As always, I unloaded at the same time all over his face and chest, all without ever touching myself. I would have utterly collapsed on top of him, but the edge of the sunroof was in the way. I slid back down inside, and we resumed making out. By then, the sun was low on the horizon.

“You’re a real mess, J.J.,” Shaun commented once he was able to talk again.

“At least, I don’t have cum in my hair,” I replied.

“I can fix that,” Shaun offered as he removed the condom from his semi-limp dick and unloaded it all over my face and scalp. “Yeah, that’s much better,” he added afterwards.

“How the fuck are we gonna clean ourselves up?” I asked.

“Well, there’s bottled water in the picnic basket, and we have another couple of cloth napkins,” Shaun responded. “We could each take a bottle of water and use it to moisten one of the napkins and wipe off all the spunk,” Shaun suggested.

“That sounds like a plan,” I replied, “but we’re gonna hafta take a shower when we get back to your house.”

Smelling under his own arms, Shaun agreed, “Beyond a doubt, but at least we can do it together.”

Grabbing the napkins and water, we both got to work, but no matter how much we tried, we were still pretty sticky all over. We’d gotten more cum on the leather than I’d thought, but it actually proved to be easy to clean, and I surmised that the leather was probably treated in some way.

“Just wait ’til I have my new Audi e-tron,” Shaun interjected. “Now that will be a great car for making love.”

“It’s a luxury SUV,” I responded. “You’re probably right. I can’t wait to trash it with our cum and peanut butter.”

“Jerk,” Shaun agreed, and then he pounced on me and we started to wrestle, and that only led to another round of making love. By the time we finished, it was after 7:00 PM! Much to my surprise, Shaun pulled out enough additional food for supper from the picnic basket, which we proceeded to eat once we were back in the front seats. This time it was peanut butter and baked Brie sandwiches on sourdough bread with the rest of the potato salad, coleslaw and pickles, finished off with lemon bars. “I dare you to drive home in the nude,” Shaun challenged as we finished eating.

“Are you crazy?” I countered. “Are you out of your mind? What if we’re stopped?”

“So, just be sure you’re not stopped,” Shaun replied.

“They can stop us just for being out after dark at our age,” I pointed out. “Hell, they might think we stole this car and stop us for that.”

“Would you feel better wearing a pair of speedos?” Shaun asked. Rather than answer, I nodded my head and grinned. Shaun reached into the picnic basket and pulled out the red speedo, throwing it at my face. Getting out of the car, we both donned our speedos, Shaun moved the picnic basket back to the back seat, and we got back in. Starting up the car, which is more figurative than literal in an electric, I drove back to Shaun’s house and pulled the car into his garage. Grabbing some leather balm from inside the house and a bunch of rags, we used it to thoroughly clean the front and back seats of all the evidence of our lovemaking.

I plugged in the Tesla to charge overnight. There was still a good charge left on the car, but we might need to drive it some distance tomorrow, and I didn’t want to take a chance on running outta juice. Shaun had already installed a charging station in the garage in anticipation of getting his Audi. The connectors were standardized, so a charging station could be used to charge any electric car regardless of the manufacture. The e-tron was built on a Tesla frame, in any case.

“Is your dad spending the weekend with his girlfriend?” I asked as we carried our clothes inside.

“Yeah, he is,” Shaun answered. “He’s been spending as much time with Lauren as you have with me,” he continued. “It looks like things between the two of them are getting serious.”

“Aren’t her daughter and grandkids still living with her?” I asked.

“Unfortunately,” Shaun answered. “I asked Dad why he’s been spending the weekends at Lauren’s place rather than the other way around, and he explained that Lauren’s place has an actual guest suite with a separate entrance that they can stay in when he’s there. It gives the two of them complete privacy. It also has its own boat dock with access to Carter Lake, which is great in warmer weather.”

“Isn’t Carter Lake in Iowa?” I asked, confused by the fact that Shaun had always implied that she lived in Omaha, near downtown.

“The town of Carter Lake is in Iowa, but it’s west of the Missouri River,” Shaun explained. “It’s the only part of Iowa that’s on this side of the Missouri. The reason is that when Iowa became a state, the Missouri River went around what is now the town of Carter Lake. The land formed a peninsula, surrounded on three sides by the Missouri, but then in 1877, a flood cut through at the isthmus, redirecting the river to its present-day course. The old riverbed formed what’s referred to as an oxbow lake, which is now Carter Lake.”

“So, Lauren’s house is on Carter Lake?” I asked.

“It’s on a canal that extends off of Carter Lake,” Shaun explained. “It’s pretty cool, and it’s right by downtown, but it’s also right next to Eppley Airfield.”

“That’s Omaha’s main airport, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Shaun continued, “as Dad put it, you can be relaxing on Carter Lake, but there’s no getting away from the sound of planes taking off and landing. You can even see the lake ripple from the vibrations. There’s been talk for years of moving the airport across the river, where there’s lots more room and still good access to the highways, but unless there’s an economic boom, that’ll never happen.”

“Do you think you guys might move in with Lauren?” I asked.

“It’s only been six weeks, J.J.,” Shaun pointed out. “You have to keep in mind that we’re not gonna be here more than two years. Our lease runs through January 2021. After that, who knows where Dad’ll end up next.”

“You had to remind me of that, didn’t you?” I responded.

“I’ll be going away to college in a year,” Shaun pointed out, “but if we’re still together then, there are good possibilities for graduate school and work. The University of Washington’s an excellent school, and it has a top-ten computer-science department. Same for Princeton, should I end up in New York, and Columbia’s in the top twenty, as is the University of Maryland.”

“What’s your very top choice?” I asked.

“Stanford University, hands down,” he answered, “followed by MIT, Carnegie Mellon, Berkeley and then Cornell. There are a lot of options for both of us, but then we’ve only been dating for a couple of months, too. I really do hope we find ourselves together in two years and in twenty years, but a lot can happen before then.” That sure put a damper on things. “Let’s go take a shower and get some sleep,” he continued, “and then maybe we can go somewhere in that car of yours tomorrow and do something special.”

“That sounds wonderful,” I agreed.

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I was running from my dad. I knew that if he caught me, I’d be dead. It was him or me, but then there was an incessant sound. What was that sound, and where was it coming from?

The sound of the alarm clock going off on a Sunday morning was jarring and unwelcome, so I shut it off and prepared to turn over and go back to sleep, but then there was the sound of another smartphone alarm going off from the other side of the bed. Crap!

“Time to get up, sleepyhead,” Shaun announced as he shook my shoulder and stared into my eyes. Even with his disheveled appearance, he was beautiful. His grin literally lit up the room.

“How can you be so cheerful so early in the morning?” I asked.

“It’s not that early,” Shaun countered. “It’s eight AM.”

“On a Sunday?” I exclaimed. “That’s pretty fuckin’ early.”

“Yeah, but Omaha’s not New York, you know,” he countered. “People really do go to sleep, and things start shutting down early, like around 5:00 in the evening, and there’s a lot to do. We’ll start with Sunday brunch at Harrah’s as soon as they open, and then we’ll go to the zoo. Omaha has a great zoo. That’ll take most of the day right there, but there’s still the Durham Museum, Lauritzen Gardens and Heartland of America Park. We’ll finish the day with the dinner buffet at the Ameristar Casino. That’s a lot to do, so come on!”

Reluctantly, I got up, but we made quick work of taking our showers, brushing our teeth and getting dressed. We both dressed in shorts and sandals, as the prediction was for temperatures and humidity in the nineties. Applying sunscreen was a bit too enjoyable, but there was no time for fun. We threw on tank tops – a red one for me and a white one for Shaun – and were soon on our way.

We parked my car at Harrah’s Council Bluffs Casino and got to the Fresh Market Buffet just as it was opening. I’d never been to Vegas or Atlantic City, nor had I been to any of the Native American-run casinos that dotted the country before, so seeing one of them for the first time was a bit of sensory overload. The flashing lights and cacophony of sounds was unreal, with dozens of people dropping money into slot machines even early on a Sunday. I wasn’t surprised to see many of them drinking, but the smoking shocked me.

Smoking had been banned in most indoor spaces since long before I was born, and the only person I ever knew who smoked was my dad, which was another good reason why I tried to stay away from home growing up. I’d never given any thought to the fact that no one in the Rodriguez or the Gonzalez families smoked. Smoking was still common in rural towns, but it no longer was seen as cool by most teens in the cities and suburbs. Of course, a lot of the people who gambled their lives away in the casinos were probably folks from the rural communities that surrounded Omaha and Council Bluffs. At least, the smoking was limited to the casino, and smoking wasn’t allowed in the restaurant.

The Sunday brunch was overpriced, given the lack of dinner entrées, but the omelets were fresh and the traditional breakfast items plentiful. I remembered my experiences just after I left my home in Indiana; back then I would’ve considered the food to be excellent and the price quite reasonable for the variety of food. Now that I had more experience, I realized that Harrah’s was rather average for what was supposed to be a high-end Sunday brunch. As was noted in the online reviews, the salad bar was exceptional and included items not normally found on a salad bar. We left the buffet feeling quite full, which meant it was a good deal for a couple of teenage boys.

After leaving Harrah’s, we drove across the river on Interstate 80 and got off at the first exit, following the signs to the zoo and zoo parking. Admission to the zoo was $25 for each of us, similar in price to the cost of a movie ticket. The zoo was mother-fuckin’ huge! My dad took me to the Indianapolis Zoo once and almost everything there was outdoors. I’d been expecting to see animals in cages, but it wasn’t like that at all. It was more like a park with meandering trails and overlooks where you could look at the animals in fake-natural habitats. Omaha’s zoo was also park-like, but with pavilions that provided both indoor and outdoor areas, so that the animals had a place to go to get out of the weather. Omaha winters can be brutal, so having heated, indoor buildings seemed like a very good idea.

There was an aquarium building with dolphins, sharks and all kinds of fish. There was a butterfly and insect pavilion that was incredible, with butterflies more colorful than any I’d ever seen, and we could walk right into the midst of them. There were lions, giraffes and elephants. There was a sea-lion pool – the sea lions were so cute! There was an aviary where we were right in with the birds. There was a jungle building, and the whole zoo was dominated by geodesic dome that housed a desert, with cacti and lizards and the like. It was so cool. I had a great time at the zoo, particularly ’cause I was seein’ it with Shaun.

After we finished up at the zoo, we drove across a road that went over the Interstate and headed to Omaha’s Little Italy. We stopped at a place called Orsi’s Italian Bakery and Pizzeria, which had nearly all five-star reviews on Yelp. We didn’t want to fill up ’cause we were gonna go to a dinner buffet later, but we had to try the pizza. We had to, and we intended to just get a slice for each of us, but then the mini combo pizza looked so good that we decided to get one of those to share, but the smell of the pizzas was heavenly, so we ended up ordering the quarter-sheet combo, which had six slices, three for each of us. Hands down, it was the best pizza I ever had.

Satisfyingly full, we headed up Seventh Street, under the railroad tracks, to Leavenworth Street, where we found the Durham Museum. It was in the original Omaha train station, built in the 1920s during the height of Art Deco architecture. Beautifully restored, it was stunning inside. Not only was the interior decoration amazing, but there was extensive statuary showing busy passengers waiting to catch their trains. It was a real highlight of the day. From there we drove to Kenefick Park and Lauritzen Gardens, which was Omaha’s botanic garden. We made quick work of the gardens ’cause it was already close to the 5:00 closing time. Kenefick Park was right by the river, and it featured a couple of authentic steam locomotives that were so cool. We took our time there ’cause the park didn’t close ’til ten, even holding hands as we walked through it.

Finally, we drove back across the river and parked the car at the Ameristar Casino, where we grabbed a couple of bicycles. Omaha and Council Bluffs have a bike-share program in which you download an app to your phone and use it to rent bicycles from kiosks located all around the downtown area of both cities. You pay a flat daily rate and then have the use of a bikes for up to an hour at a time before you hafta turn them back in at a kiosk. You can even use the app to see in advance how many bikes are available at each kiosk. The bikes were only single-speed, but some of them were e-bikes. Since Shaun and I were in good shape and weren’t in any hurry, we stuck to the regular bikes.

There was a kiosk right by the casino, so we picked up our bikes there and rode right along the Missouri River, past Harrah’s and across the Bob Kerry Bridge, a futuristic pedestrian suspension bridge named after Nebraska’s famous governor and senator. Standing on the bridge, we could look up and down the river with a view of Omaha on the right bank and Council Bluffs on the left. Continuing across the bridge and into Nebraska, we rode along a bike path right by the river until we came to a place called the Lewis and Clark Landing, where we spotted a fountain next to the river. Water cascaded down a series of bronze kettles while statues of iron workers all around the fountain were in various poses, hard at work. I’d never seen anything like it. Wow!

We continued riding along the river, under Interstate 480 and then on an elevated pedestrian bridge crossing over the railroad tracks that paralleled the river. That took us to the Heartland of America Park, a sprawling series of foot and bicycle paths that encompassed a good portion of downtown Omaha. We road along a waterway that started right in front of the main library, with its cascading waterfall. The library had already closed by the time we got there, but we could always visit it another time. We turned our bikes in at a kiosk at Fourteenth and Douglas Streets and continued on foot, walking hand-in-hand along the waterway. Crossing under Tenth Street, the water cascaded down a series of little waterfalls, eventually emptying into a lake with a fancy fountain in the center. We took our time walking along the footpath that encircled the lake. There were numerous low-slung buildings along the way, with shops and a coffee shop, all of them closed, not just because of the late hour, but for Sunday.

We walked the rest of the way around the lake and crossed over the railroad tracks on a different bridge, walking along the river until we got back to the Lewis and Clark Landing, where we picked up bikes at a kiosk. Riding back over the river on the Bob Kerry Bridge, we rode down along the river and turned in the bikes at the Ameristar Casino. As we rode by, this time we noticed there was a riverboat berthed behind the hotel, and it looked like it was almost as big as the hotel. Cool. We went inside the casino and made our way to the Heritage Buffet. It was pretty expensive for a buffet, but the food reflected the price, with entrées that included prime rib, lobster, crab legs and the like. At an hour before closing on a Sunday night, the food wasn’t as fresh as it might have been, particularly for the price, but we had no problem finding plenty of excellent food to eat, and the buffet wasn’t crowded at all.

Heading back to the car, I drove back to Shaun’s house and dropped him off with a kiss, and then headed back to Bellevue. Naturally, everyone wanted to see my new car, and I gave everyone rides in spite of the lateness of the hour. At one point it was just Henry and Darren, and they both chose to ride in back rather than splitting up so one of them could ride shotgun. As we rode along, Darren sniffed the air and announced, “It smells like sex in here!”

I must’ve turned four shades of red, so Henry added, “Really? You’ve had the car scarcely more than a day, and already it smells like a brothel?”

“What did you think would happen when I showed up at my boyfriend’s place with my new car?” I asked, “It was fully appropriate to break it in, but we did more than have sex,” I explained. “We had an amazing picnic lunch, then we made love. Shaun made a wonderful lunch with baked-chicken-breast sandwiches stuffed with Brie and pesto, potato salad and Midwest-style coleslaw. Then we moved to the back seat and discovered how creative we could be in a limited space.”

Laughing hysterically, Henry responded, “Jeez, J.J., your car’s not more than a day old and already you’re wrecking it by eating in it and getting your spunk on the leather. Maybe you should take it to one of those detailing places that offers a coupon book with a discount if you prepay and a free wash after every so many times.” We all laughed long and hard at that.

“At least, we didn’t use peanut butter as a lubricant,” I added “We were afraid it would stain the leather.”

Again, laughing hysterically, Henry reiterated, “Peanut butter?”

“Don’t knock it,” I replied. “There isn’t any place, and I do mean any place, that isn’t fun to smear peanut butter and lick it off. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried peanut-buttered balls, peanut-spotted dick or the ever-popular peanut-butter rim job.” Both boys were in hysterics now. “By the way, Applazon carries gourmet peanut butters in a variety of flavors, such as dark chocolate, and I can get them cheap with my employee discount. Let me know and I’ll order a case.”

Again, looking at each other, Darren nodded at his boyfriend and Henry asked, “What flavors do they have?”

“In addition to plain, there’s honey, dark chocolate, white chocolate, pumpkin and maple,” I replied.

“How many jars are in a case,” Henry asked.

“Six, as I recall,” I answered, and then told them the price with my discount.

“We’ll take a case of each,” Henry responded. “Everyone’ll probably be curious as to why the sudden taste for peanut butter, but let them wonder. Sex is about love, but like you said, sex is fun!” I couldn’t have agreed more.