A Very Schticky Thing To Do - 10. Chapter 10

“I can feel her, she’s coming, now,” Zzppd moaned.

Ssthi keyed in some instructions to the car’s navigation and control system causing the car to speed up considerably.

“Is my flap opening?” Zzppd asked no one in particular.

“Raise your frock and I’ll check,” Aabi said.

“What do you know about it?” Zzppd asked with a worried look.

“Who do you think gave birth to Thabbt?” Aabi answered. “On top of that a Zzt gave birth to me.”

“You’re a hybrid?” Zzppd asked as he followed Aabi’s instructions.

“Yes, how do you think I was able to carry Thabbt in my womb?” Aabi answered. “It’s beginning to separate. Your time is near. Ssthi we need to get to the nearest medical facility.”

“I’m taking us to our building,” Ssthi said, sternly.

“Zzppd may not have time for that,” Aabi answered. “The oothobdonoso is coming, now!”

“I’m not going to have my daughter born in some second-rate medical facility,” Ssthi said indignantly.

“If we don’t get someplace soon, she’ll be born in the car,” Aabi said worriedly.

“Did I ever tell you about the Normal who swallowed a bar of soap?” Zzppd asked.

“Uh, no,” Ssthi said. “Is this important?”

“Well, it certainly was important for the Normal,” Zzppd said, giddily. “That bar of soap went clear through him, but it cleaned him out in the end. Get it? It cleaned him out in the end!”

“What are you joking for?” Ssthi asked. “You’re giving birth to our oothobdonoso.”

“It’ll calm him down,” Aabi said. “It’s what Zzts do at times like this.”

“Then there was the Normal who tripped over a dog,” Zzppd said. “Of course, that was kind of difficult since there haven’t been any dogs in this part of the universe for at least a million years. Have you ever seen a picture of a dog? I did, once, a long time ago. I was little then. No, I was short then. No, my cock was short; and, I was little, too. I’m a big boyo, now. I got myself pregnant. Do either of you know I’m pregnant? Do either of you know what today is? I bet you don’t. Huh, Aabi? Do you know what makes today special? And, it’s not because I whipped the shit out of Thabbt’s back, either. Where’s Thabbt? No, that’s right he’s gone to get healed, but how can he do that if he remembers me whipping him. Do you think he’ll hate me? I don’t hate me. Do either of you know what happened sixteen years ago, today? Huh, Ssthi?”

“I do not know what happened sixteen years ago,” Ssthi said, sternly. He glared at Zzppd.

“Sixteen years ago today, Pubi shoved his great big cock up Mamt’s cunt and it grabbed him and held him until his sperm fertilized her egg,” Zzppd said, dreamily with an odd smile. “Then I marched smartly up his cock and found a nice, juicy corner of his womb where I stayed for six months. And, then, the Normals stuck a needle in my foot and found out I had the three Zzt genes and they tattooed that S on my forehead. And, they didn’t use any aneste, anesthe, anesthe, something. What is that word?”

“Anesthesia?” Aabi offered.

“Yeah, so sixteen years ago I was conceived,” Zzppd said. “And, do either of you know what that makes me, today?”

“No, what?” Ssthi asked, angrily.

“Legal,” Zzppd said. “Yup, I’m legal. If I gave birth before my sixteenth conceptionday, you, Ssthi, would’ve had your cock vaporized. And, then they, those Normals, would’ve vaporized your head. You’d be dead. It’s an ill eagle to fuck an underage boyo and get him pregnant, even if he is an S. Isn’t that funny?”

Zzppd started giggling and giggling until he began to guffaw and snort. Ssthi glared at the Zzt and then looked over to Aabi.

“You fucked an underage Zzt,” Aabi said.

“Underage my ass,” Ssthi hissed. “Zzppd is about as under aged as a, a, um, what?”

“Luckily, we’re not under Normal law or you’d probably be vaporized just the way Zzppd said,” Aabi said with a smile. “And, luckily he’s betrothed to our son and he’s sixteen today or you’d be guilty of statutory rape of an underage Zzt per the Baztli Ideal. I think the penalty for that is public emasculation.”

“Oh, fuck!” Zzppd exclaimed. He held his extended belly and squatted down on the floor. He screamed unintelligible Argottean as a faintly audible tearing sound came from between his legs.

“Oh, no! He’s birthing!” Aabi exclaimed. “Quick, grab some nappies from the dispenser. Quick, Ssthi, he’s birthing, now!”

Ssthi stared at Aabi.

“Oh, fuck, you’re useless!” Aabi exclaimed as he reached in front of Ssthi and pulled a handful of soft nappies from the dispenser and wadded the paper sheets into a loose bundle which he thrust under Zzppd. He pushed Ssthi out of the way, causing the car to skew on the road for a few seconds before its gyroscopes corrected its attitude, and grabbed Zzppd around the chest. “Breathe! Damn it! Breathe!”

Zzppd sucked in a lungful of air and screamed as blood began to drip from where his birth canal flap had torn away from his perineum.

“Breathe!” Aabi exclaimed.

Ssthi moved to the opposite side of the car and began to key some more instructions into the car’s navigation system.

“What are you doing?” Aabi asked.

“Doing what I do best,” Ssthi hissed. “Getting us to where we need to be. Now, do what you do best and help Zzppd.”

“Uhnn,” Zzppd grunted before sucking in another lungful of air. He began to rock on his feet as blood continued to drip from his torn flap. “Uhnn!”

“Breathe in,” Aabi coached. “Come on, suck in some air. Hold it. Hold it. Bear down and breathe out. That’s it. Come on, suck in some air. Hold it. Hold it. Bear down and breathe out. That’s it.”

Aabi reached down between Zzppd’s legs and felt a foot. “You’re doing it. She’s coming down now. Suck in some air. Come on, breathe in. Hold it. Hold it. Bear down and breathe out. That’s it. Let’s do it, again. Breathe in. Hold it. Hold it. Bear down and breathe out. Breathe in. I can feel the other foot. She’s coming down. Bear down and breathe out. Breathe in. Come on, you’re doing great. Both her feet are out. One more time, breathe in. Hold it. Hold it. Now, bear down hard. Push her. Push her. Breathe out. Here she comes. Oh my, she’s beautiful Zzppd. Your donoi is beautiful. Look Ssthi, look at your donoi.”

“She’s all bloody,” Ssthi said with a frown. “And, her cord is still attached.”

“Zzppd, in your bag, do you have your birthing string?” Aabi asked as he started to rifle through the cloth bag Zzppd had with him at all times, now. “Ah, here it is. Let’s see if I can remember the knots. First close to the, that’s it, close to her little tummy. Now, two fingers back, fold and tie. Zzppd, bite the cord here. That’s it, right by the knot. Ssthi, hand me some more nappies.”

“What for, she’s been born,” Ssthi said with disgust.

“Why can’t you at least try to help?” Aabi asked. He pulled three handfuls out of the dispenser and gave a little tug on the cord. The afterbirth slid out and he wrapped it up into a loose bundle. “How soon will we be to a medifac?”

“The car is turning into the emergency bay now,” Ssthi said. “I hope they know how to treat Zzts. Zzppd, are you alright?”

“I’m a pubi,” Zzppd whispered. “Give her to me. She needs to find her breast. Come on little one, pick a teat. That one? Okay, take hold. Um, that’s it, little one; you don’t have to take it all. I’m a pubi, Ssthi, Aabi. I wish Thabbt was here.”

* * * * * * *

“Thabbt-zo-hhzt-ggriZzt?”

“Uh, yes?” Thabbt was lying on his stomach unable to move due to a number of restraints which were required in the most severe cases of skin trauma. That his was caused by the execution of a criminal prosecution was immaterial to the medifac. They were only interested in restoring the Bazt to his original condition and required total immobilization.

“That pregnant Zzt sure did a number on your back. He must hate you something fierce.”

“He loves me. That’s worse.” Thabbt couldn’t see who was talking to him.

“Not as bad as having a bunch of enemies. Thabbt, you’re a marked man. You’ll be lucky to get out of here alive. Then, once you’re on the street, well, let’s just say there are a lot of Bazt and, surprisingly, Baztlis, too, that will be very happy to see you dead.”

“The undiscovered conspirators.”

“You’re pretty smart for a royal.”

“I’ve spent a lot of time in school.”

“And a lot of time in the arms of Aambi-zo-hhrtth-benndt. Did he hold you down when he fucked you? Or, did you go into it willingly?”

“I was there willingly and he held me down.”

“Would you like to see him? He’s here, you know, right here in this medifac. They’ve dumbed him down so much I don’t think he realizes they cut off his cock, but he sweeps up pretty good.”

“Who are you?”

“Me? I’m no one you’ll ever know.”

“Then why are you here?”

“To offer my assistance with your problem or should I say problems because you have a slew of them, but, surprisingly, I can help with nearly every one.”

“What do I have to do?”

“Work for us.”

“Who are us?”

“Let’s say we’re sort of in the government.”

“I can’t work in the government because of my disgrace.”

“Oh, you can work for us. In fact, we’d very much like you to work for us. Right now, you’re sort of like a big magnet that is attracting the attention of a slew of enemies of the Bazt Ideal.”

“What if I don’t agree to work for you?”

“Well, then we don’t protect you. I can almost assure you that you’ll be dead by morning.”

“What can I do? It’s not like I can get out of this bed.”

“Thabbt-zo-hhzt-ggriZzt, will you work for us?”

“Can I think about it?”

“Five seconds.”

“Okay, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Good. Okay, he’s taken the job; you can come in and get him.”

“Who’re you talking to?”

“None of your business. You’ll find a lot of things like this going on where you’re headed. It’s called, need to know. If you don’t or it is determined you don’t need to know, you’ll never find out and if you do try to find out, you might find yourself dead. That’s just a survival hint you might find helpful in the future.”

* * * * * * *

Zzppd walked into the baby’s nursery with the intent to suckle his dottir and saw a Bazt woman holding Doopo. He looked around to see if there were any other strangers in his rooms, but they seemed to be alone.

“Who are you and what are you doing with my dottir?” Zzppd asked as he walked toward them.

“Meent-zo-hhrt-aambZzt,” the woman said with a smile. “I’m Doopo’s naani.”

“And, what exactly is that?” Zzppd asked as he took his dottir and put her to her favorite nipple. He shut his eyes for a moment as the sensations of those two baby lips massaging his nipple spread through his body.

“I take care of your daughter,” Meent said. “When you’re not here or available, that is. I was Thabbt’s naani.”

“He’s never mentioned you,” Zzppd said as he went over to the lounge and sat down.

“Of course not!” Meent exclaimed with a knowing smile, a smile that Zzppd would quickly learn meant business. “I’ve never heard of a Bazt happily acknowledging the one person among all Bazt who knows their most private secrets and foibles. Like Aambi, Thabbt was under that Bazt’s thumb from the beginning, but did anyone do anything about it? Oh, no! They thought it was cute and look where it all led. Plus, I will discipline Doopo. Bazt tradition prevents you, but I can put her into a corner in an instant. Do you and Thabbt plan on having oothobi?”

“Yes, Thabbt, Ssthi, and Aabi plan on me having quads right off so that all of my nipples are covered,” Zzppd said.

“Bungi spunt!” Meent exclaimed. Zzppd didn’t quite know what that was, but suspected it wasn’t nice. “Your minor nipples won’t supply enough milk to feed a starving ffeevel. How much do you get off them now, with the pump? Do you give her the other major or one of the minors for seconds?”

“One of the minors, but she doesn’t seem satisfied,” Zzppd said.

“Probably off flavor,” Meent said as she leaned over him and put her lips to one of his small breasts. “Oof! That’s sour! No wonder Doopo doesn’t like it. What in Prisi’s name are you eating?”

“Low copper biscuits and copper chelates, mostly,” Zzppd said. “I was eating too much food high in copper. Now, I get by on biscuits and flatbreads.”

“Who’s doing the cooking for you?” Meent asked after tasting some milk from the other small nipple and the big one Doopo would soon latch onto.

“Me, mostly,” Zzppd said. “Aabi brings things down or I go up there.”

“Was Thabbt helping?” Meent asked as she sat on the end of the lounge.

“No, he said he couldn’t figure out how to do anything without copper,” Zzppd said with a frown.

“Bungi spunt! That boy is just lazy,” Meent said. “Okay, from now on I’ll prepare all your meals. We need to get the right kind of food into you so that your milk is sweet and high in fat and protein. Not trying to be personal, just a naani, but did Thabbt refuse to let you fuck him?”

“Yes,” Zzppd said meekly, somewhat offended she would ask such a question.

“Figures, only Aambi’s cock went up that ass,” Meent said as she stood up. “Well, Ssthi’s, too, but that was only to prepare him to be a responsible adult and father. Unfortunately, it seems he only paid attention to Aambi’s. Well, we all know where that got him. Do you like your boobli soft and runny or hard and leathery?”

“What are boobli?” Zzppd asked. “I eat mostly from the prep unit. Aabi prepares fresh and I know Thabbt can do that, too, but I’m stuck with the prep unit. Are boobli good to eat?”

“Oh, you poor little Zzt,” Meent said. “Have you ever eaten bumpti? Boobli come from bumpti.”

“On our first date, Thabbt took me to a place where they served dimthos and he said it tasted like bumpti,” Zzppd said. “There wasn’t much flavor to it at all.”

“Of course not! Looks like someone never got out of the bungi spunt habit. Probably because he wanted to emulate Ssthi. Now there’s a bungi spunter if there ever was one. Well, you need food and boobli are on the menu. I’ll be nice and give you a selection and then you can decide what you like most.”

“I’m a Zzt,” Zzppd stated flatly. “I’m used to eating food that doesn’t taste of anything. Thabbt said most of it was made from bumpti, but I’ve never seen one so I don’t know if it swims, flies, crawls, slithers, or falls down the stairs.”

“They swim, mostly, fly a little, poorly, and run around and bump into things and each other,” Meent said. “They have the smallest brain of any creature in the universe, but luckily for us their boobli taste absolutely scrumptious and their meat tastes like a thousand other animals that are good for you, but sound yucky. Enough of the school lesson, time to get to work. Do you eat Doopo’s wastes or toss them?”

“I eat them!” Zzppd exclaimed. “Why would I want to throw them in the trash?”

“A true Zzt,” Meent said. “Where did you get the idea that spunt’s good to eat?”

“We’ve always eaten . . .,” Zzppd started, but stopped and thought for a moment. “Wait! Is spunt, doompi?”

“Right you are, boyo. We’ll get Doopo some nappy shorts and start tossing the spunt.”

“Oo, ick! I’ve been eating doompi. No wonder my slumb tastes like doompi.”

“Well, now it will start tasting like fried boobli and bungi strips.”

* * * * * * *

The room was stark. A narrow pallet occupied nearly the entire length of the wall opposite the entry. A metal desk and chair were to the right and a lavatory and bookshelf were along the left wall. A miniature sun light in the ceiling bathed the room with warmth and light. The walls and ceiling were white. The floor was gray stone. A thermostat by the door controlled radiant heating in the floor during the sleep hours.

Thabbt sat in the chair studying one of the books that had been assigned by his instructor. He was careful with the book mostly because he didn’t think they existed anymore, but his bookshelf was full of books. The book he was reading was a history of Bazt from before the emigration to Bazt Four. It talked about the four kings, the Bishop of Krooth, and the Mistress of Oodri, who it seemed didn’t have to be a woman. What interested him about the Mistress was that according to the rules, if that position in government still existed, he would be the current Mistress.

As he read more, he discovered it was an early Mistress who devised the concept of the Bazt Ideal, which wasn’t a set of specific laws, but a set of standards that each Bazt was expected to follow. First and foremost was the idea that government was infallible and all decisions made by government, whether one of the four kings or Body of Zznnrl—an early attempt at elective government that lasted only two hundred years before changing into a dictatorship that evolved into a modified monarchy that was eventually overthrown by armies of the four kings—must be followed until shown to be false.

Approximately five hundred years before the Great Emigration, the Mistress disappeared from Bazt culture. However, there still seemed to be a Mistress after the Emigration was complete and from what Thabbt read in other books referenced by the first, the position of Mistress of Oodri was currently vacant, as it had been for the past two hundred or so years. Yet, the Oodri, a secretive group that seemed to be the same group that brought Thabbt under their collective protection, was very active in various under cultures of Bazt society.

Thabbt began to wonder about his presence here, though he didn’t exactly know where here was. It was still on Bazt Four, but wasn’t near any city. He had asked soon after arrival, but was told he didn’t need to know. He soon discovered there were a lot of things he didn’t need to know, but after a couple of weeks he was assigned an instructor who told him to read all the books in his bookshelf. When he had completed that task, he would be given something else to help him learn about his future as a Bazt.

What he missed most was being with Zzppd. It wasn’t that he was a prisoner because he asked if he could leave and was told he was a free Bazt and was permitted to go wherever he wanted, but if he left, he would lose the protection of the group, so far unidentified.

Thabbt took his meals in the communal cafeteria, but was not welcome at any table occupied by other members of the group. On his first day out of the medifac, he was told which table he was to eat at and not to talk to anyone. Now, after nearly a month, Thabbt was tiring of being alone among many people who definitely did everything they could to avoid him.

After finishing the last book on the second shelf, he went to the cafeteria to have a meal. With most Bazt diets, there was no differentiation between specific meal periods. Upon waking, there was meat, vegetables, and milk. (Here it was Zzt milk and every time Thabbt drank it, he thought of Zzppd.) A number of hours later another meal consisted of meat, vegetables, and flavored water. A number of hours after that another meal of vegetables and fruit was accompanied with abbti. Before retiring for the night, the Bazt normally ate flavored biscuits with plain water, but this meal was often ignored by those Bazt who were beginning to get a little paunchy, which was seen as a disgusting prelude to old age and death. Get a little tummy and you began to lose acquaintances.

This was his midday meal and he selected his meat and vegetables, but chose milk instead of water. He sat in his chair, the only chair at his table though there was room for six more Bazt. After a few minutes, his instructor came over with a chair and sat beside Thabbt.

“Yes?” Thabbt inquired. “I thought I was to be ignored.”

“Did you read about the Mistress today?” his instructor asked. She was an older Bazt, but kept her body trim and free of extra fat. He was not told her name.

“I suppose you ask because I’ve been at this long enough to reach the Mistress,” Thabbt said.

“Yes, well, after a number of years, one begins to expect certain questions at certain times,” she said. “Do you have any questions?”

“Do I need to know the answers?” Thabbt asked. “I know that if the Mistress still existed, I would be looking to assume those duties upon the death of the current Mistress. Unfortunately, I committed a number of acts against the Bazt Ideal and, I suppose, I would no longer be eligible for that position.”

“Don’t get your hopes up, but you didn’t commit any serious acts of sedition,” she said. “Yes, you could be the Mistress, if that position was still recognized. We’ve been watching you for a long time. It is unfortunate you kept your relationship with the traitor Aambi, but youth and sex is a powerful combination that often overrules correct thought and actions. Do you want to know anything about the Oodri?”

“I suspect this place and all the people here are the Oodri,” Thabbt said, “and my being here is something I do not understand. That is my question.”

“You are authorized to know that your supposition is correct,” she said, sternly. “Your being here is a precaution against harmful actions taken against your person by those who seek revenge for Aambi and all the others who were caught.”

“I miss my betrothed,” Thabbt said. “Do you know if the oothobdonoso was birthed?”

“She is a very healthy donoso or dottir as called by Zzppd,” she said. “Because Ssthi does not know of us, yet, you cannot be permitted a visit nor can Zzppd come here.”

“You said, yet,” Thabbt said. “Can I suppose at some time in the future he may know?”

“If at such time the Oodri choose to have a Mistress, your family would be invited to attend the induction ceremonies,” she said.

“I suppose I am on trial, then,” Thabbt said.

“No, you have passed all your tests,” she said. “We have not decided, yet. Are you lonely?”

“Yes, very much,” Thabbt said.

“I will recommend having your betrothed brought here,” she said.

“How can you do that without Ssthi knowing?” Thabbt asked. “I suppose you could kidnap Zzppd, but you’d have to take the donoso, too, and that would anger Ssthi. No wait, Ssthi would be informed that I am being kept in a safe place due to a number of threats against my life and that I wish to have Zzppd live with me. I think that would work.”

“Yes, Mistress, I think that would work, too,” she said. She stood and smiled. “Welcome to and from the Oodri.”