A Very Schticky Thing To Do - 19. Chapter 19

When the Argotte-Bazt war ended, all Bazt were isolated on Bazt Four. The Minto were evacuated from Bazt Four and placed on a planet all their own, where, unfortunately, they did not flourish and after a short nine year span all of them were dead. The Oodri continued to live, but with the recolonization of Bazt impossible, their power diminished over time. Bazt-Gurd was renamed Burpi after the progenitor of the Schtickist mutation and Schtickists from throughout the Argottean Federation were encouraged to emigrate to the planet that had been totally depopulated by the Bazt virus and subsequent war. The few altered Bazts eventually died out.

Ten years after the final treaty was signed, Zzppd sat in a lounge chair nursing the twins, Ssthaat and Ssthimt, while watching Thabbt as he tried to teach their oldest, nine-year-old Dimpl, how to swim correctly. Dimp was playing catch with their six-year-old, Daabi. Without announcement, Doopo and Benz stepped out of a recondite dimension with their five-year-old hermaphrodite Dwimo.

Thabbt looked up from the pool and called out, “You’re early; you don’t get married until next year.”

“What’s the occasion?” Zzppd asked as Doopo and Benz sat on either side of him. Dwimo ran off to join Daabi.

“The Schtickists want to make you their, uh, well, I don’t know a better word, king,” Benz said.

“Would that make me a queen?” Thabbt asked as he walked toward them toweling water from his chest.

“Yes, Dadi, you’ll be queen of the Schtickists,” Doopo said.

“How utterly inappropriate,” Thabbt said. “I shall refuse the post, if offered. You’ll have to do this on your own, my dear Zzppd.”

“I don’t know why they’d want me,” Zzppd said as he moved Ssthaat down to a smaller nipple. Unlike with Doopo, so far their children hadn’t exhibited any extraordinary talents, but there was still time.

“It’s those books you’ve been writing,” Thabbt said. “Suddenly, the Schtickists are finding out all sorts of things about themselves they probably could’ve lived without knowing, but you’re putting all the dirt down on paper and now they probably think making you their king will be some sort of reward.”

“You sure you don’t want to be a queen?” Benz asked. “I think you’d be a grand queen.”

“I am Bazt and the Bazt murdered over fifty million Schtickists either directly on Bazt Four or with the virus here on Burpi,” Thabbt said. “I do not think the Schtickists will be all that forgiving.”

“You don’t know Schtickists, Dadi,” Doopo said. “We’re very forgiving. We’ve been persecuted, massacred, annihilated, and made to stop worshipping Prisi, yet we’ve forgiven the Argotteans over and over.”

“Dottir, I would not be happy knowing that my people did all those horrible things to their guests in the name of racial purity,” Thabbt said. “I cannot be Zzppd’s queen. You’ll have to come up with some other title, if I have to be titled. For the Bazt I was a prince, maybe I could be a princess?”

“King Spid Doop and Princess Thabbt Zo, may your reign be remembered until the end of time,” Benz declared as he stood up.

“Ah woggly-wooggly woo, ah doggily-doogily doo,” Spid called out as Doopo and Benz locked elbows and began to dance in circles around Thabbt and Spid, who continued to call out, “boogo-bimbo bibbly-boo, choo-choo, choo-choo, choooo!”

“Come on, Dadi, join us, in the Schticky reel,” Doopo said, pulling Thabbt to his feet.

“But, I can’t dance,” Thabbt protested.

“That’s the whole idea!” Benz exclaimed. “Neither can we!”

The children seeing the adults suddenly enjoying themselves flocked around and began to dance in all manner of incoherent steps, turns, spins, with arms flaying around or locked into another's elbow causing that person to spin before switching elbows and spinning in the opposite direction. All the while, Spid continued to call out the traditional names of the steps, “Ah woggly-woggly woo, bimbo-dimbo dumbo-doo, ah doggily-doogily doo, chim-choo, chim-cha," and on and on.

Poor Thabbt was at a loss as what to do, but the children pushed and pulled him around the lawn laughing and laughing. He tripped and stumbled causing the children to laugh and cheer him on as the dance continued unabated. After a while the words Spid was calling out began to make sense. Thabbt watched Doopo and Benz changing step to each call, turning right, turning left, and dancing around with arms waving, straight at their sides, or a few times waving them like a bird. As Thabbt saw it, there was absolutely no point to the dance other than to have fun and to laugh.

When Doopo and Benz began to teach the children the moves and steps Spid was calling out, Thabbt went over to where Dimp was sitting cross-legged on the lawn and sat beside him. It was, after all, a Schtickist dance and although Thabbt was one-quarter Zzt, he was three-quarters Bazt and it was obvious he didn’t have enough Schtickist genes to join in and have fun. He looked over at Dimp and genuinely felt sorry for the young man as the Gurdian simply sat watching with uncomprehending eyes, but smiling now and then when the children’s squeals seemed to reach too many octaves above normal hearing.

“Having fun?” Thabbt asked, but Dimp seemed too engrossed in the children. “Dimp, are you happy?”

“Yes, Thabbt, I am happy,” Dimp said in his normal monotone, without a smile.

“Do you feel good?”

“Yes, Thabbt, I feel good.”

“Do you want anything?”

“No, I am well provided for.”

“Do you like it here?”

“Yes, Thabbt, I like it here."

Thabbt gave up as he did every time he tried to engage Dimp is some form of verbal intercourse. Dimp just wasn’t able to go beyond answering a simple question. Ask something and he responded in as few words as possible. Thabbt put an arm across Dimp’s back and rested his hand on the far shoulder. Dimp looked over, broke a weak smile, and then turned his attention back to the children. This was the limit of Dimp’s emotional response.

* * * * * * *

Thabbt walked into Spid’s study and sat among his usual cushions and pillows. Although the Zzt had resumed his identity as a Schtickist, he was still Zzppd to Thabbt. He was the father of their children and mother if you took a technical view of their physiologies, but Zzppd assume the role of mother and the children accepted that, though in a traditional Schtickist family, the birth parent is the father figure, while the woman’s sole role was to provide the egg to be fertilized and passed back to the father, after that she had no further part in their raising until they were weaned from the breast, usually at about three months.

Spid looked up from his terminal and smiled. “You’re looking healthy today. Did you have a good swim?”

“Dimpl swims too fast and her form is still too ungainly,” Thabbt said. “She told me she could see her ’xrsc interface, but she hasn’t done anything to acknowledge its presence. She’ll be leaving soon, but she wants to stay here until our coronation. Princess Thabbt Zo, it sounds schticky.”

“It’s supposed to,” Spid said. “And, you’ll wear the ballerina getup, with the tights and glass slippers.”

“My feet are too big to wear those slippers,” Thabbt complained. “I’ve tried them on and they don’t fit.”

“Have the ’xrsc size them for you,” Spid said.

“You have them do it,” Thabbt said. “They hardly ever do anything I ask. You’re running the show here, if you want something done, you ask. By the way, I want your permission to fuck Dimp.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m bored and I don’t have anything to do,” Thabbt said. “I need a hobby and thought starting a sexual relationship with Dimp would give me some meaning in life.”

“He is unable to respond to your sexual needs,” Spid said. “We’ve been over this before. He is totally nonsexual. You might as well get a corpse.”

“I’m not that kind of guy, Zzppd,” Thabbt said. “What about altering his nanos? Do you think they could reprogram him to accept my advances and respond to my sexual needs?”

“What about my sexual needs and desires?” Spid asked. “Have you thought of doing something with me?”

“You’re never around. You’re always busy with some Schtickist project, or some ’xrsc thing, or teaching the children, or just not being with me.”

“So, that’s it, then? If someone had told me being King of the Schtickists was going to be a full-time job, I’d have turned it down, but now that I’m to become the head of the Schtickist government, I’m busier than I’ve ever been and I’m sorry for excluding you and not coming to you when I should. You know, Thabbt, we could have the ’xrsc slip us into a recondite here-here-then dimensional shift every so often, we’d have time to do whatever you want.”

“I want you now, right now. I’m hard and I want you in me, now.”

“’xrsc! Move us and give us, oh, six hours,” Spid said. The air around them wavered as if a light breeze blew in all directions at the same time. “Now, Thabbt, I’m yours for the next six hours. Will that be sufficient time?”

“What about the children and Dimp?” Thabbt asked. “Won’t they miss us?”

“No, because we’re still there, too,” Spid said with a smile. “The ’xrsc created a hole in time about a millisecond wide there, but here it is six hours wide.”

“You certainly know how to confuse me,” Thabbt said as he began to undress. Since they were no longer on Bazt, Thabbt had begun to accept the clothes of the Schtickists; plus, there were the children to consider. In a Bazt household, everyone would’ve been nude, but they weren’t raising their children to be Bazt, so everyone wore clothes, including Thabbt.

Spid removed his clothes quicker and was at his husband’s side helping him with his clothes. He began to tongue Thabbt’s right ear and whispered, “Do you wish Dimp could join us? I can make that happen, you know, if you want to do a threesome.”

“No, I couldn’t trust him around the children if he was sexually enabled,” Thabbt admitted. He sat back down among his cushions and pillows and beckoned Spid to join him.

“I could have the ’xrsc go back to a time just after I was taken to Bazt and we could have a half-second of his time. He wouldn’t remember a thing. He was a very cute boy back then.”

“No! I don’t fuck children. What was he, fifteen?”

“Yes, we were fifteen. It seems like ages ago. I think if you remember correctly, I was fifteen the first time you fucked me.”

“And, I was seventeen. I’m not that anymore,” Thabbt said. “Zzppd, can we just stop talking and get to the sex?”

“My aren’t we touchy.”

* * * * * * *

“You want me to wear this to the grand ball?” Thabbt asked, holding up what was to be his sole attire for the evening, excluding the huge, red, foam rubber phallus he was to wear on his head. “What is this?”

“It’s called a jockstrap,” Spid said. “You’ll look ravishing in it.”

“This is a joke, right?” Thabbt asked as he turned the thing around as if trying to figure out what went where.

“Of course it’s a joke,” Spid said. “Have you been practicing your pratfalls?”

“It hurts when I fall on my butt,” Thabbt said. “Are you sure you want to be King?”

“No, but they’ll be horribly disappointed if I turn it down after all they’ve done,” Spid said as he took the jockstrap from Thabbt. “Take off your clothes; let’s see if this thing fits.”

“Why can’t I wear at least some underwear?” Thabbt asked as he began unbuttoning his coveralls.

“You went naked all your life and now you want to wear underwear? Oh, Thabbt, you’re absolutely precious. Well, it’s not traditional, but you could wear some black lace panties, I suppose, but we’ll have to get this bleached so it’s totally white against the panties.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Thabbt asked as he pulled and pushed his undergarment off.

“Because you are Bazt and my husband,” Spid said, handing the jockstrap back to Thabbt. “Here put this on; we may have to get it sized if it doesn’t fit properly.”

“How do I put it on?” Thabbt asked holding the thing out at arm’s length. “And, what was this used for, anyway?”

“It was designed to provide some support for Terran males during athletic activity,” Spid said. “That’s when humans still had scrotums, you know, like the Minto.”

“The Minto wore this?” Thabbt said with a frown.

“Probably not,” Spid said. “They didn’t seem too interested in underwear.”

“This is underwear?” Thabbt asked turning it around and around, trying to make some sense of the structure in relation to his body. “One part of me isn’t going to be covered, Zzppd. I’m sorry, but if I have to wear this, I’m not going to the ball.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll see what else is traditional for a princess such as you,” Spid said.

“Such as me, what do you mean by that?” Thabbt asked as he threw the jockstrap across the room. It made it about halfway before an unseen bot snatched it out of the humans’ 3-D reality. “I wish they wouldn’t do that.”

“Do what?” Spid asked as he looked up from his ’xrsc terminal that had just as suddenly appeared in their 3-D reality.

“Make things disappear and appear like we don’t know what’s going on,” Thabbt said as he pushed some cushions into a pile before flopping down. The door chimed a familiar ditty. “Oh, bother, why do they always have to show up when I’m naked?”

“Because, my dear, you’re always naked,” Spid said as he keyed in the response, allowing the door to open. Dimpl walked in and stopped when she saw Thabbt.

“I can come back,” she said looking away from her dadi.

“’xrsc! A blanket, please,” Thabbt called out, but nothing appeared.

The humans remained silent as they waited for the household ’xrsc to respond to Thabbt’s request. He’d only just started trying to be polite, but even that didn’t seem to sway the bots into helping him directly.

“I can go get you one, Dadi,” Dimpl said so quietly it was barely a whisper.

“No!” Spid exclaimed. “Think the time has come for us to move to a less ’xrsc dominated residence.”

The air wavered for a moment, which was the typical human perception of moving through a recondite dimension. The humans looked at each other and around the room as it quickly reconfigured itself into the main lounge on the first floor of their habitat. Suddenly, a folded blanket materialized over Thabbt, who caught it and quickly threw it over his nakedness. Dimpl smiled, but her expression quickly turned to a frown when Dimp, Daabi, and the twins appeared in the room with them.

A ’xrsc mainframe interface, aware only to Spid and the children, appeared in the center of the room. Unlike most interfaces, its structure was made up of seven half-meter cubes that seemingly rearranged themselves depending on which human was looking at it. Fortunately, it maintained a singular structure for each human, but did appear to reconfigure if the human moved, thus changing the direction of his or her view. For Dimpl and Daabi, though, the interface was a solid 6-D structure that provided a direct link with all ’xrsc programs throughout the 6-D ’xrsc multiverse.

“A move is not authorized,” the interface stated. “Your place is here for the next fifty standard years, relative.”

“Then, please, reprogram the bots to respond to Thabbt,” Spid said. “I’ve put up with this for ten years, but my patience is gone.”

“Your directive has been processed,” the interface stated.

“I believe you are aware Dimpl is ready for ’xrsc intervention,” Spid said.

“Pubi, no! I want to stay here,” Dimpl cried.

“The child will remain,” the interface stated. “Intervention will take place in situ.”

“I don’t have to go away like Doopo?” Dimpl asked scrunching her face as she tried to understand how the ’xrsc were going to accomplish such a feat here rather than there, relatively speaking of course.

“This is a fully operational ’xrsc site, all ’xrsc functions can be accomplished on-site,” the interface stated. “In addition, the Spid-Thabbt genetic depositories are not similar to their step-relative. Their genetic structure will facilitate digitization on a different time-scale. Is there anything else?”

“When do we go?” Dimpl asked.

“When you are fully ’xrsc,” the interface stated.

The air wavered, again, and Spid, Thabbt, and Dimpl found themselves back in the fourth-floor lounge.

“What happened?” Thabbt asked.

“Did you see or hear anything?” Spid asked.

“No. Should I have?” Thabbt asked, suddenly aware that he had a blanket over him. “Where did this blanket come from?”

“Dadi, you had it downstairs,” Dimpl said.

“Downstairs, where?” Thabbt asked as a familiar expression washed over his face. “Did the ’xrsc do something?”

“Yes,” Spid and Dimpl said in unison and then started giggling.

“What’s so funny?” Thabbt demanded.

“Oh, nothing, Dadi,” Dimpl said as she threw herself into his arms. “I love you so much, Dadi. I wish you could see them like I can. I talked to the mainframe. They actually let me freely interface with them. And, I don’t have to go away to become ’xrsc, isn’t that great?”

“Spid? I’m getting a headache,” Thabbt said as he made to get up, but settled back under the blanket. He meekly smiled at Dimpl.

“It’s okay, Dadi, I don’t mind you being naked, all that much, anymore,” Dimpl whispered.

“No, no, I need to be more careful,” Thabbt said. “This isn’t Bazt and you and the others don’t need to see their Dadi without his clothes.”

“Pubi, why is Dadi naked, anyway?” Dimpl asked. “You’re not supposed to have any more children.”

“We weren’t having sex,” Thabbt said. “Your pubi is trying to find me something to wear to the Grand Ball, besides that silly hat.”

“You could go as Little Bo Peep,” Dimpl said.

“Who?” Spid and Thabbt asked in unison.

“Little Bo Beep lost her sheep, you know, the story Dimp reads us,” Dimpl said with a worried look.

“Dimp reads you stories?” Thabbt asked, looking at Spid.

“How long has he been reading you stories?” Spid asked.

“Forever,” Dimpl cried. “I’m sorry; I don’t want him to get in trouble, again.”

“What do you mean, again?” Thabbt asked. “Have the bots been mistreating him?”

“Yes,” Dimpl whispered.

“’xrsc!” Spid yelled. “Get your recondite ass in here!”

The air wavered and Spid found himself in a dark room. Bits of light flew around him and inside his head he heard a voice.

“Spid Doop, the Argottean, Dimp Nivl, is a tool of the ’xrsc to instruct the children, according to the needs of ’xrsc. He is not mistreated. The child, Dimpl Doop-Zo, has misinterpreted the situation. Programming analysis had begun to evaluate the relationship between Dimpl Doop-Zo and Dimp Nivl. We see. Affirmative. Negative. Negative. Affirmative. Reprogramming of the residence bots and interfaces has been initiated. We apologize for any inconvenience our presence has caused in your lives. Evidence shows actions in relation to ’xrsc to Dimp Nivl have been detrimental to the future requirements of ’xrsc. Such actions will cease. Residence bots and interfaces have been reprogrammed.”

The air wavered and Spid was back in the lounge.

“Where’d you go?” Thabbt asked.

“’xrsc,” Spid said.

“Into the system?” Dimpl asked. “I don’t like it when they take me there.”

“You’ve been there?” Spid asked.

“Yes, for programming,” Dimpl said, softly. “Dadi, Pubi, I’m being digitized, but I don’t have to leave and you won’t see much change, and it’s going to take at least ten years, but I’m going to be the first. I’m sorry.”

“No, please Dimpl, we’re the ones who need to apologize,” Thabbt said. “After all, if it wasn’t for us, you wouldn’t have to go through all of this.”

“No, I was predestined, at least according to ’xrsc system programs,” Dimpl said. “They have it all mapped out to the nth generation. There are others similar to us on other planets in other universes who will be our birth partners. When our children are born, they will be fully digital from birth.”

“I saw one of our grandchildren once a long time ago,” Thabbt said. “I think he said he was Dimmo. Was he digital?”

“Yes, Dadi, Dimmo was born digital,” Dimpl said.

“But he looked like a normal little boy,” Thabbt said.

“Of course, our outward appearance won’t change, at least when we interact with 3-D’s like you and Pubi, but among ourselves we’ll be fully aware of our digital structure because we’ll fully exist in six dimensions,” Dimpl said.

“Stop, stop, you’ll give your Dadi a headache if you talk about that ’xrsc stuff,” Thabbt said. “Just do me a favor and don’t disappear around me. Walk out a door and then do that ’xrsc thing somewhere else.”

“Dadi, you have no idea how sweet we will be to your inabilities,” Dimpl said. “I’m going now so you two can do your naked things.”

“Dimpl, why did you come here in the first place?” Spid asked.

“I was going to tell you a bot threatened to vaporize Dimp, but since they’ve been reprogrammed we don’t have to worry about that, bye.”

With that, Dimpl walked out the door leaving Thabbt and Spid looking at each other.

“Well, what now?” Thabbt asked.

“’xrsc! The bot that threatened Dimp, I want him removed from the household, whether it’s been reprogrammed or not,” Spid said. “I will not tolerate bots threatening humans in this existence.”

“You request is being processed,” a voice said.

“Thank you,” Spid said. “Now, where were we?”

“You were looking for something for me to wear to the ball,” Thabbt said, “but I’m willing to do naked things like Dimpl suggested. What would happen if you became pregnant, again?”

“History would change, at least this history,” Spid said, “but I suspect the book would change, too. Do you want another child?”

“No, because it’s so hard on you, but we can practice, can’t we?” Thabbt said.

“Now, that’s an idea, come on, let’s go in the bedroom,” Spid said.

“Why not here, now?” Thabbt asked.

“Children come in here,” Spid said. “They’ll interrupt.”

“Not me, I’m naked all the time,” Thabbt said. “Come here and get naked with me. ’xrsc, please dim the lights, and some soft, light music would be nice, too, thank you.”

The lights dimmed and soft music filled the room as Spid quickly undressed. He crawled under Thabbt’s blanket and nuzzled his husband’s neck.

“Whatever would we name her?” Spid asked.

“Her, we haven’t had sex like that,” Thabbt said. “How can you say it’ll be a girl?”

“Because I know Bazt’s can determine the sex of their offspring,” Spid said, “and you like girl’s more than boys.”

“How did you find that out?” Thabbt asked. “No, wait, you find out everything. I think we should look in the book. I’m sure she’ll be in there if you get pregnant. Want to try?”

“It’s so much better when we actually try,” Spid said as his cock rose to the occasion. He opened his mouth and took Thabbt’s tongue down his throat as his husband began tweaking his left, top nipple, a sure sign this was going to be an attempt.