Colorado State Patrol - 5. Board Champ

Wow, this is either the best bowl of soup I’ve ever had, or my taste buds are just as frozen as the rest of me, and anything warm would hit the spot.

“Hey, big daddy. Your butt still sore?” I look up to see the most perfect set of teeth an orthodontist could produce and a shaggy head of brown hair covered by a rainbow knit beanie.

“Excuse me?” The kid―must be at least five years younger― is staring at me, his smile not wavering. Not going there. A biker, a cowboy, a marine, and a trucker have sworn me off. Mind-blowing sex with a different one every weekend is getting old.

“I asked if―”

“I heard your question. But how would you know if my butt’s hurting, and what business is it of yours?” What the fuck? Just ‘cause he’s a cutie doesn’t mean he can talk to me that way. Little Drew is waking up, but he’s not making decisions this time. He’s not in charge here. I am.

“A, I was watching you ski the entire morning. B, you’re in great shape, hell you’re hot, but it’s obvious you haven’t been on skis in a while. C, that lack of practice prolly has your thighs and ass hurting like a mother. And D, you were waddling like a penguin, when you walked in here.”

“Okay Einstein, let’s say you’re right. Who the fuck are you, and what do you want?” Little Drew can say all he wants, I’ll listen, but that’s it. I’ll just listen.

“Damn, big daddy! Now you’re turning me on. I asked around about you and they were right: State Trooper Espinosa’s a badass; you also have a real hot ass, dude.”

“Ha, ha, ha. Answer the questions already.”

‘I’m Sterling Tunder, the current Colorado Snowboarding Champion. During winter I work as a ski instructor around here; during the summer I’m riding a lawnmower, taking care of the landscaping.”

“Okay. Still don’t know you.”

“Sure you do, big guy. For the last couple of years, I’ve ridden a bicycle by your place every morning, delivering newspapers. You’ve even waved at me a few times.”

“Great, now I know who you are. Still don’t know why my hurting ass is any of your business.” I can’t believe I’m about to let Little Drew make decisions again.

“Well, I was going to invite you to join me in the spa. We could soak in the hot tub for a while; let the hot water relax your muscles. Afterward, I’ll give you a good rub, I got a license for that. I’ll make your ass feel so good, tomorrow morning you’ll bring me breakfast in bed. By, tomorrow afternoon, you’ll be sending me flowers!”