Another Ordinary Guy - 8. Chapter 8

Maria’s wedding was only a month away, and Ricky’s parents were pressuring him to throw a bachelor party for Randy.

“Doesn’t he have friends of his own?” Ricky asked. “His friends should be doing it.”

Apparently Randy didn’t have friends willing to do it, and he didn’t have a brother either. He did have a couple of friends willing to come as guests, but not willing to go through the bother or expense of making him a party.

There was a small restaurant near Ricky’s apartment where he and Joey ate often. There were never any paparazzi there; the food was excellent, and there was a private back room that would seat about a dozen people. Ricky booked the room for the Saturday night of the weekend before the wedding.

The guest list included Randy, his father, his two friends, Ricky’s father, Joey and him…seven people. As an afterthought he invited Brett and Sven, Red and Larry. He also prevailed upon Larry to use his theatrical contacts to hire a stripper for the occasion. He arranged for an open bar, and left the menu up to Joey.

The open bar was probably not a good idea. Randy was extremely drunk before the food arrived. Instead of eating, he kept on drinking. His father tried to prevail upon him to lay off the booze for a while, to which he replied, “What the fuck for? My brother-in-law is stinking rich.” When he uttered those words, Joey looked at Papa Alberto and he saw that Papa had tears in his eyes. Papa saw Joey staring at him and they nodded knowingly at each other.

When the stripper began her act, Randy kept trying to grab her tits. She deftly avoided him, but she whispered in Ricky’s ear, “If he keeps that up, I’m leaving.”

“I’ll do my best to restrain him,” Ricky promised.

Somehow the evening came to an end, but as everyone said goodnight, Randy was nowhere to be seen. Joey checked the men’s room, and Ricky looked out the front door and up and down the street. He found Randy wrapped around a parking meter. He was on his knees, and he was covered with vomit. He smelled from here to Red Bank.

“Look,” Ricky said to the two fathers and Randy’s two friends, “you guys go back to Red Bank, and Joey and I will clean Randy up and sober him up in our apartment.” Nobody was about to argue. Red and Larry, Brett and Sven offered to help, but Ricky advised them all to go home.

Joey and Ricky wrapped one of Randy’s arms around each of their shoulders. It isn’t accurate to say that they walked him home. Rather they dragged him home. Once inside, they stripped him rapidly. Ricky removed everything from his pockets, and bundled up the offensive smelling clothing, even his shoes, which were covered with his puke.

“I’m dumping this crap in the dumpster,” Ricky said. “I’ll be right back.”

Joey, who was bigger than either Randy or Ricky, dragged the naked Randy to the bathroom. He sat Randy on the toilet seat and when he was sure that he was steady and wouldn’t fall, Joey stripped himself naked. He started the water in the shower, and when he was satisfied, he just about carried Randy in. The running water sobered Randy just enough that at least he was able to stand on his own two feet.

Joey started by shampooing the vomit out of Randy’s hair. Then he soaped up his body, hoping to eliminate the stench. He hesitated, but in the end he washed Randy’s genitals. Now I know what Maria sees in him, he thought. Randy’s uncut cock was humongous, by far the biggest he had ever seen. By this time, Ricky had entered the bathroom. Joey pointed at Randy’s cock and Ricky said, “Wow!”

Ricky stripped also, and between him and Joey, they got Randy dry. Ricky put a sheet on the living room sofa, found an extra pillow and a blanket and they tucked the naked Randy comfortably in. They showered together, fearing they still smelled of vomit. Joey was conflicted once again. Should he or should he not tell Ricky how Randy came on to him? Ricky fell asleep peacefully without sex, but Joey was tormented. Eventually he fell asleep too.

Sometime during the early morning hours, Ricky felt Joey giving him a blow job. He smiled in his sleep, but then Joey stopped. Immediately after that Joey felt Ricky giving him a blow job. Unlike Ricky, Joey’s sleep was fitful, and he was soon wide awake, only to discover that it was Randy who was sucking his cock. Joey jumped up and yelled more loudly than he realized, “What the fuck???” This woke Ricky up at last.

It took a second for Ricky to evaluate the situation and he too yelled, “So it was you, you bastard. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“What’s everybody so upset about? It’s just a little blow job. You two guys are good looking gay boys. You put me to sleep naked. Isn’t that an open invitation? What’s a blow job among friends and relatives? What’s wrong if I sow some wild oats before the wedding?”

“What do you think your bride would say if she knew you liked to suck cock?” Joey yelled. He realized that he was speaking too loudly, but he couldn’t control himself.”

“You guys aren’t going to tell her. You wouldn’t want to upset her, would you Ricky?”

“What about after the wedding? Do you intend on continuing to see guys?” Ricky asked.

“I was hoping you guys would be willing to play with me, especially you, Joey, when Ricky is on the road. Maria would never know. I have enough to keep her happy too.”

“I’d rather suck Mickey Mouse’s cock. Ugh!” Joey said.

“You’re disgusting, a fucking bastard,” Ricky yelled. He jumped out of bed, pulled some clothes from his closet and from his chest of drawers. He grabbed a pair off flip-flops lying near the bed, and he threw them at Randy. “Dress,” he ordered. When Randy was dressed, Ricky tossed him his wallet, and told him to get out.

Ricky and Joey were both wide awake now, so they dressed and went down to the underground parking in their building. Ricky had recently indulged himself, and purchased a Ford Focus. He was tempted to buy a two seater Mercedes-Benz, but in the end, he couldn’t do it. It just wasn’t his style to be ostentatious. They got into the car and headed for the Holland Tunnel, The Garden State Parkway, and Red Bank, NJ. This called for a family conference. Along the way, Joey told Ricky about the incident on the porch. Ricky was a little angry with Joey for not telling him sooner, but Joey said that he was afraid Ricky wouldn’t believe him, and besides, nothing really happened.

They caught the family getting ready for church. Needless to say they were shocked to see the boys.

Papa, we need to talk to you privately,” Ricky said.

“Let’s go on the back porch.”

“I wanna go too,” Mama said, but Ricky was adamant when he told her, “No!”

Ricky tried not to be too graphic so he said, “Papa, last night Randy tried to have sex with us while we were still sleeping. We stopped him, and he said there was nothing wrong with it, and he wanted us three to continue to have sex after he was married.”

“Oh my God.”

“Papa, you’ve got to stop the wedding, no matter how embarrassing for your friends and family, and somehow we have to tell Maria that Randy has admitted he wouldn’t be faithful to her.”

“How can I tell her such a terrible thing? I couldn’t find the words. Help me boys. I don’t care if I lose every cent I’ve invested in this wedding. I can’t let her marry that bum. He doesn’t have a job, and I overheard him tell his friend that he was sure his new brother-in-law would support them. The bum, the fucking bum.”

Ricky was shocked. He had never heard his father curse in his whole life. Papa broke into tears and both boys wrapped him in their arms.

“I think the three of us should tell her together, Papa.” Joey and I can attest to the incident. Joey says that Randy came on to him at my birthday party also. He didn’t say anything because he was afraid nobody would believe him.”

“I’ll ask her to come outside,” Joey said.

He went into the house to ask Maria to join them, but this time Mama said, “I’m coming too. Don’t you dare to try to stop me, Joey.”

“What about me?” Patricia asked.

“What the hell, you all might as well hear what happened.” The three women went out on the porch, and they were shaking.

When Papa saw them, he said, “We might as well all go back inside where it’s more private. The neighbors don’t have to hear our family business.”

“Joey, honey,” Ricky said, “why don’t you tell everyone what happened the night of my birthday party, and then I’ll tell them what happened last night.”

The family listened in silence as the two young men related their stories. Maria sat stone faced. Nobody could read her mind. When Ricky was finished, there was utter silence. The entire family looked at Maria who sat as still as any woman in a portrait.

Finally the young girl sighed and said, “Thank God.”

“What?” Papa asked.

“I said, thank God. Oh Papa, I’ve seen what a loser Randy is for sometime now, but as the wedding got closer and closer, I was afraid to tell you that I didn’t want to marry him. You’ve spent all that money.” At last, she started to cry.

“Papa took her in his arms. “I don’t care little girl. You’re safe from that monster, and that’s all I care about.” He looked at Mama and said, “Let’s get busy. We have lots of phone calls to make. No church today.”

But Mama could not forget her job. “Did you boys have breakfast?” she asked. During the time it took her to make a breakfast of eggs, pancakes and coffee, she managed to make at least a dozen phone calls. She told everyone the wedding was off, and she didn’t want to talk about it. She then hung up on them. Papa got caught up in conversations, but eventually he took a cue from his wife , and cut it short. Mama had invited John Smith, Arn Lindquist, their sons, Larry, and Red, but Ricky said that he would inform them, and they saved his parents a few phone calls.

Before Ricky and Joey left to drive home, Ricky said, “You know what, Mama and Papa? I think that you and the girls could use a little vacation. Everyone is going to be questioning you, and you should get away from it all. Go to Disney World on me.”

In a second there was a big discussion about whether they should go or not, when suddenly Randy came bursting through the door. “You can’t do this to me,” he ranted. “You’ve embarrassed me with my friends.”

“What friends?” Joey asked.

“You’re going to marry me and that’s that.” He never said another word. Joey flattened him on the living room floor. One of Randy’s few friends had driven him to the Alberto home, and he was waiting outside in his car. Ricky, Joey and Papa picked Randy up and threw him into the back seat of his friend’s car.

“Don’t ever bring him back here again,” Papa threatened, “or I’ll have you both arrested for trespassing.” The car disappeared like a horse in a Western; in a cloud of dust.

Driving home, Ricky and Joey were in high spirits.

“I’m so relieved,” Ricky said. “Let’s celebrate tonight.”

“That’s a great idea, and I know just where to go to party.”

“Where’s that?”

“In our apartment, in our bed, just the two of us, having a very private party.”

“I like the way your mind thinks. It’s definitely a plan I can live with.”

Ricky was driving so Joey called their friends to tell them the wedding was off. They all wanted to know what happened, and like Mama, Joey said that he didn’t want to talk about it, effectively keeping his calls short and sweet.

Mama’s breakfast went a long way. Neither boy was hungry for hours. When they got home, they stripped and went right to bed. They wrapped their arms around each other and pulled each other as close together as the laws of physics would allow. They discovered that it was true that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” Ricky asked.

“I don’t know tell me again.”

“I love you,” Ricky repeated.

“We’re talking too much, let’s fuck.”

Two hours later when they came up for air, Ricky asked Joey, “How busy are you with school for the foreseeable future?”

“Very, very busy. Why are you asking?”

“Because I’m starting to compose new songs for another album, and I’m afraid that I might not have too much time for us.”

“It’s not important, Love. You just told me that you love me, and that will see us through your creative period.”