A Class By HImself - 2. Chapter 2

It had only been two weeks since Tanner and I had fallen in love. Since we allowed each other to fall in love. And I'm being totally honest when I say that...every day of the week, I fall deeper and deeper in love with him. There's always some new corner to turn or some lovable piece of his personality that I hadn't seen before. And that only urged me to dig even deeper into who he was, and snuggle myself into that part of him as best as I could. My heart never seemed to get enough. Tanner couldn't enter my thoughts, even for a split second, without simply blocking out everything else. Tanner's gorgeous smile invaded my imagination every second of the day and it brought a smile to face, every time. It was almost scary, the way he became this all important part of me. His golden brown hair, his soft pink lips, his silky skin, his cute little smile...how could I have been so involved with one boy? Or an even better question...how can I see past all of that physical beauty, and still see an even greater treasure below the surface. Some people are cute, some people are cool, some people are gay....but to find all three in one person is a winning lottery ticket if ever I saw one.

Tanner and I, we did everything together. He'd take me to the movies on the weekends most of the time, even if we had seen it already, even if the movie sucked. We had a blast when we went to go see some children's movie about some dumb fluffy teddy bear having an adventure in the woods and tried to get back to the big city! Hahaha, we just basically talked through the whole ridiculous movie and made every low brow sexual we could about the storyline. I'm sure we made some parents mad that night, but the kids seemed more interested in OUR conversation than the movie. I'm really surprised that we didn't get kicked out of there.

He also came over and helped me set up the basketball backboard up against the side of my house in front of the driveway. My mom came out to help, but she's...well...a girl in the purest form of the word. Besides, if I got one more warning about 'not breaking a window once this thing is up', I was liable to break one with a rock just for spite. So, after some giggles at our meek attempts to get it set up right, I think we finally got it to stay. Hehehe, I think it was stable for a day and a half, until late one night my mom and I woke up to the inevitable crash of it falling down to the concrete below. After that, Tanner got some friends of his to do it the CORRECT way! Voila, perfection at last.

As for the other kids at school, they seemed to treat me a little better when Tanner was around. When he wasn't....well let's just say the turned the snobbery button down a bit more than usual. Nothing had changed, I knew that, but at least they put forth some effort to keep it to themselves ever since they saw me hanging out with one "one of their own". Basically...they just kept their whispers down to a minimum until our backs were turned. It didn't bother me in the least anymore though. All the money in the world couldn't buy the feelings I had surging through my body all day long. It couldn't buy the hidden kisses that Tanner would give me when we could find time alone. It certainly couldn't buy the laughs we shared together, or the good memories we were building everytime we went out somewhere. The way I see it, it was the rich kids who should have envied ME. It's just too bad that they would never understand that.

The only cramp in the plan was that I didn't get to see my lover boy as much as I wanted to. Alone, I mean. We were in two different parts of town, and he lived a half an hour away by bus. Considering that school took up most of the day, and homework took up most of what was left, that didn't leave much time for us to visit during the week. My mom was pretty clear on me studying and keeping my grades up, so school days were pretty much off limits, but boy did I run over there on the weekends! Those were our 'naughty' times together. And we were usually so built up over the week, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other for more than the time it took to get to a quiet secluded part of his house. The touch of him, the smell,the taste...I would be drunk with it for hours afterwards, and my whole body would float in a zen like state for the rest of the weekend. He was so amazing.

My mom was really happy that I had made a new friend in school. I'm sure she was sick and tired of hearing my sob stories about how much I hated the other kids and how I just wanted to fit in. She was trying to be as supportive as she could be, but she knew that our 'situation' wasn't going to change anytime soon. And she knew the rich kids were probably being hard on me with the jokes. What could she do? I guess deep down I knew she didn't have the answer, but I was kinda hoping that maybe I was wrong and she had some foolproof plan to get the others to like me. My mom was a sweet woman and was always trying to do everything she could to make life better for me, but she just didn't have the money to stretch. It never bothered me until now, really. I was used to not having a whole lot of material bullshit in my life, and I certainly didn't need the namebrand clothes, and hundred dollar shoes, and video game systems now. We made due with what we had, and it always seemed to be enough for us to smile. For Christmas most years, instead of exchanging gifts, we would always call the neighbors over and maybe a few family members, have a gathering and put on a little show for them. We would do these crazy little skits and sing and stuff, Mr. Wilkins would get drunk and curse the government while his wife tried to convince him to go home and go to bed...it was fun. I would never have learned to curse as well as I do now if it wasn't for good ol' Mr. Wilkins. And at the end of the night, I'd stand by our fake plastic tree and I would recite some of my amateur poetry. Bad poetry, but mine nonetheless. It was always a great party, but I think the best part was planning and rehearsing the whole thing. The mistakes were the best part. It never cost us anything, and it was our way of spending the holidays thinking about something besides paying the bills. Those were good times...not like now. Now money was all anyone cared about. And even though I had given Tanner my heart with every breath I could muster...when I found out that his birthday was coming up in a week...I didn't think that was going to be enough.

Tanner was visiting my house that Saturday night and he was going to spend the night. We had it worked out that way because we knew that my mom would have to work at the diner that night until 3AM...giving us time to...um...watch TV...

Naturally, my mom gave me a suspicious eye and told us to make sure we behave quite a number of times before getting ready for work. She was trying to get her hair together in the other room while Tanner and I sat on the couch in the living room. "You know, I'm having a party at my house next week for my birthday. You've got to come. Games, swimming pool, music, cake...it'll be great!" Tanner said.

"I'm SO there dude! I'll see if my mom can give me a ride." I said. We went in the kitchen and asked her if it would be all right. She said it was fine, but was too busy looking for her car keys to really pay attention to us.

Finally, she found what she was looking for, and started patting her pockets for something else. "What are you looking for?"

"I can't find my name tag." She said.

"You're wearing it, mom." She looked down and grinned at me before grabbing her purse.

"Alright, I've got to go honey. You boys play it safe until I get home, okay? NO funny business!" She reminded us, and kissed me on the nose while rubbing Tanner's head, mussing up his hair. "There's some leftover chicken in the fridge if you guys get hungry."

"No there isn't."

"Yeah, there is. I left it in the back...uh...it's wrapped in tin foil or something, isn't it?"

"We ate that three days ago." I said.

"What? No, there's gotta be some left in there somewhere..." She went to check, and sure enough, it wasn't there. There wasn't much of anything in there. She closed the refridgerator door and went hurriedly fumbling around in her purse for some money and pulled out a single dollar bill. She uncomfortably looked for more, but didn't find anything more to give us. "...um...boys?" She said, wondering what she could do for us, "Listen...maybe, if you ask Mrs. Munch next door, she can...maybe she'll..."

Tanner stepped in and interrupted by saying, "Hey, Derrick. What about that twenty dollar bill you found in the gym locker room yesterday?"

"What twenty dol..." I said before Tanner nudged me in the side. I got the message and played along, "...ohhh, yeah. I forgot to tell you mom. Their loss, our gain, right?" I smiled, "Just go before you're late for work. We'll just order a pizza or something." She looked at us for a moment, and I told her, "We'll be FINE, go."

I don't think we fooled her, because she suddenly seemed really down about the fact that she couldn't feed us. But she didn't say anything. She just whispered a grateful "Thank you..." and walked over to kiss Tanner tenderly on the forehead. Then she walked out and closed the door behind her. Before she could even get down the steps, Tanner turned to me and our arms reached out for one another as he kissed me on the lips. It was always like the first kiss, and it always left me breathless.

He stopped for a moment and said, "Should we order the pizza before or after I finish tearing into you?" A wicked smile spread across his face, and I knew that this was going to be a 'fun' night.

"How about during?" I saw him grin and began imitating what it would sound like with us moaning and groaning on the phone. "Ooooohhh...pepperoni...aahhhhh...extra large sausage please...OHHH...here it comes! HERE COMES THE CHEEEEESE!!!" We were laughing hysterically at this point, and you can't imagine how hard it is to kiss somebody while you're laughing. Our lips were trying to press themselves together, but when we giggled our bodies would shake and our smiles would stretch out and we just couldn't manage to keep it together. But, after a few minutes, we got a little more serious and I felt Tanners slick tongue enter the warm insides of my mouth. Slowly rotating and rubbing against my own, as we joined in another seductive union. He stole my soul away, again and again. Every kiss was better than the last, and my self control was lost when I was in his arms. Tanner's breathing sped up, and we held onto one another with a tight embrace. Tanner slowly dropped his soft hands down my back, and then let it slide around my waist to feel the bulge in front. He applied a sensual pressure as he rubbed it up and down, our kissing getting more intense. Then, he un buttoned my jeans, the zipper sliding down with just a press of his finger, and worked his hand into my boxers...letting his fingertips touch me in the most intimate way. A low moan escaped my throat and I fell into a trance of pure ecstasy. I had to break the kiss and lean my head back, the sensation flooding all over my body. Tanner wrapped his fingers around my length, and gave it a fe gentle tugs as he looked lovingly into my eyes and smiled. "C'mon...I need you." He said, and he removed his hand from my pants to lead me to my room. My pants were still open, we were both so hard that it was difficult to even walk, and watching the smooth way his ass would sway as he walked in front of me wasn't helping. Then, just as we were passing by the front door, we heard keys rattling! My mom was back home!!!

SHIT! We ran back accross the living room and jumped over the back of the couch, throwing pillows over our erections to hide our excitement. My mom came back in the house and yelled out, "Forgot my apron!" as she flew past us and ran upstairs. She didn't even look in our direction. As soon as she was out of sight, Tanner and I let out a sigh of HUGE relief, and then started giggling again. I quickly removed the pillow from my lap and zipped myself back up before she came back down. "Omigod, that was close!" I whispered.

"Hehehe, the look on your face..."

"What? Come on, you were scared too."

"Not as scared as YOU were." He grinned.

"Of course not, it's not your mom!" We both started laughing again, but clammed up the second we heard my mother's footsteps on the stairs.

My mom hurried past us again, but stopped for a second to give us a strange look. "Why are you guys being so quiet in here?"

We put on the best innocent childlike mask that we could. "No reason..just...talking." I answered.

"Talking." Tanner repeated. And we both broke out in another big smile, trying to hold back from snickering. "'Talking', huh? Okaaay..." She opened the door, and then looked back at us with a smile, "Derrick...NO funny business tonight, I mean it."

So paranoid. "Hehehe, I WON'T! Promise!" I giggled, and she closed the door. We waited a few quick seconds before Tanner reached for me again. His lips tasted so good, so special...mouthwatering kisses that lifted me right out of my seat. But, just as we were getting into it, the door opened again and we both snapped back into place. This time my mom wanted to change her shoes! GEEZ! She disappeared upstairs for another second, and we tried to slow our heartbeats down again as we maintained as much poise as we could. Tanner looked at me with the most gorgeous hazel eyes and shy smile as if to say 'When is she leaving already?' I shrugged my shoulders in response, and we sat back to wait until she was gone. I heard some rustling upstairs for a few minutes, and was getting impatient. Tanner reached out a hand, and ran it back and forth across my stomach, reaching up under my shirt.

"I can't wait much longer." He teased me and I was seriously going to explode soon.

"YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE, MOM!" I shouted upstairs, hoping that she'd move just a little bit faster.

My mom ran down the steps, "I know, I know!" She came close to the couch and Tanner pulled his hand back. She kissed us both quickly on the top of our heads and rushed out, finally leaving us alone. Let the games begin.

Tanner and I made out on that couch for almost an hour before getting up to go back to my bedroom. Never once coming up for air. Sometimes, you can say with a simple kiss what hours of sex can't touch. Then again...sex is good! We shared each other four or five times that night, not needing clothes at all except for the few minutes that it took to answer the door for the pizza delivery guy. My body felt so alive when he touched me, and the warmth of him was so relaxing. I set up a mattress on the floor for him to sleep on. I didn't want my mom to catch us wrapped up in each other like that. Always forced to keep appearances, it's tiring sometimes. We had fallen asleep by the time my mom had gotten home, and occassionally I would wake up in the middle of the night, hear Tanner's soft breathing, and know that I had found true love. There's no explaining how incredibly comforting that is.

It wasn't until the middle of the week at school that I had calmed down after my lovely weekend. All I could think about was my beautiful new boyfriend and how awesome he made me feel inside, even when we weren't together. I used to love to hear him say my name. Nobody on EARTH said my name as sweetly as Tanner did. Something about the way it rolled over his thin lips sent shivers down my spine, and I became incredibly giddy with every word he spoke to me. But it was what happened later that day that dimmed the lights in my eyes a little bit. We had taken a science test in class and finished early, so the teacher decided to just let us relax until the end of the period. Naturally, that meant that everybody else goes to talk to their friends, and I try 'not to exist' for a few minutes so they don't remember they're better than me. I heard a few of the kids next to me talking about the party that weekend. That Tanner had a sweet house, and they were going to have an awesome time, and how the 'cool' people get to go. Then it suddenly dawned on me...I didn't have a gift for him. Nothing. Omigod...I finally have a boyfriend to call my own, his birthday is coming up THIS weekend, and I don't even have a present to offer him. I listened to the rest of them talking about buying him this and buying him that, or shopping at some stores that would probably turn me away if they saw me coming. The more they discussed, the lower I felt. Until I started wondering if I should even GO to the party. I'd be SO humiliated, right there in front of everybody. They'd LOVE it if I gave them a yet another reason to laugh at me to my face. This isn't right, it's all wrong. Tanner was such a bright part of my world. He had given me so much. A life, a love, a purpose...and what could I give him in return? Nothing. This bites.

The other kids talked proudly about their gifts, like giving him a stick for his pool table, or floating thing-a-mabobs for his pool, or calculators, or video games, or gadgets and trinkets. And all I could do was think about how cruel it would be of me to come to his party without anything to at least warrant the invite. Sure, he knew I wasn't rich, but I could at least buy him something to say, "Hey, thanks for the blow jobs! -Your buddy Derrick."

Then I heard somebody whisper softly, "I heard he's going to...so..." and someone else shushed him when I looked up. As though I couldn't tell who they were talking about. I heard some quiet giggles and just focused my attention back down to the desk and my notebook. That's it...no way...no WAY am I going. I'm just...I'm not going. I'll make up an excuse, I'll make it up to him later, whatever. But I'm just not going.

I saw Tanner on the bus after school, and although I did my best to keep up some kind of normal conversation, he could tell something was a bit 'off' about me. "Have you got something on your mind, dude? You're not yourself today." He asked.

"Yeah..." I started, but I didn't look him in the eye. Instead I pretended to rumble around in my backpack. "About this weekend...um...I don't know if I can come to your party." I mumbled it out, but I know he heard me.

"Aw, but dude you HAVE to come. It's not going to be any fun at all if you're not there."

"I can't, really. I've got this...'thing', happening this weekend, and...it'll be running late..." He knew I was lying. But he just gave me an enchanting smile anyway.

"That's alright. Maybe next time."

"Tanner, I'm sorry..."

He playfully put his hand up to stop me, "No no...s'ok. You don't wanna come to my party. I get it." He grinned.

"Come on, it's not like that. You know that."

But he continued to tease me, "You could have just said, 'I don't wanna go to your stinkin' party, but you didn't."

"Hehehe! QUIT IT! You're making me feel bad." I pouted.

"That's it...if you don't go, then the party's off."

"Don't..."

"Uh uh...if Derrick The Destitute doesn't want to be at my party, then what kind of pty could it POSSIBLY be?" His smile was beautiful, even when he's teasing me. I just looked at him while he tried to keep a straight face.

"You wouldn't do it." I dared him.

"Watch me. I'll shut the front gate and tell everyone to go home. So you better be there, or they are gonna be really upset with you come Monday morning." He giggled.

"Sighhhh...." I couldn't resist him or anything about him. Why even try? "You're not being fair, you know that right?"

"Yep! So are you coming?"

"They're gonna..." I paused, not wanting to sound like I was whining, "They're gonna laugh at me, Tanner."

"You're not there for them. You're there for me. You're there because I need you to be." He leaned really close to me on the bus, his lips almost touching my ear, and whispered, "And because I love you so much it hurts." It was like a current of warm electricity shooting through me when he said that. "So you better show up. No excuses."

"Alright...I'll be there." I said reluctantly.

"You promise?" He asked.

"Promise." And with that, my fate was sealed. It looks like I was in for an embarrassing time. I've GOT to think of something. I've GOT to!

I racked my brains out that night, trying to come up with some kind of thoughtful, original, 'something' to make Tanner at least appreciate the effort. But every idea I had was either too small, too cheesy, or just way too expensive! Aaaarrrgh! The next day I continued to kind of shy away from Tanner as much as I could without him catching on. I felt like a leech or something, thinking back to all those times he took me to the movies, or when he bought dinner, or the whole thing with the basketball hoop. He was always buying me stuff, and I just sat there and took it all. What did I ever give HIM that was so special? Sex? He could spin around in a crowded room and get anybody he WANTED to have sex with him. He didn't need me for that. I don't know what it was, but I just...I needed to do this for him. I need to show him that I love him more than I can say. I just don't know how I'm going to do that.

The next morning, I was still empty on what to do, and I had to start facing the fact that I might not be able to do anything at all. I had asked my mom about what to do, but she was already in a hurry for work, and the few ideas she had to give me were all on a much smaller scale. She was thinking of him as more of a 'buddy'. Someone to trade comics with or play an occassional video game with. She didn't know how deep it went, how much he truly meant to me. How could she? I really do hate this.

I joined Tanner outside on the front lawn this time to eat lunch, instead of in the courtyard. I guess he didn't want to deal with the jerks around here anymore than I did. But the sun shines more out on the lawn, and Tanner's awesome beauty just seems to glow when he's wrapped in sunlight. His eyes sparkle, his hair shines...he's more lickable than you can imagine. Still, I kept him at arms length for most of lunch, and pretty much avoided all conversation about the party. I kept thinking that I could still back out if I wanted to...but that would be stupid. Then it would be a DOUBLE whammy, no show AND no gift. I'm sure the others would just love that. We stood up after eating and were ready to head inside when Tanner heard the radio of a car passing us on the street. It was playing some song that I hadn't heard in ages.

"Oh man! I haven't heard that song in forever! I love that song! It's my favorite!" He said happily.

"I thought that other song I played for you this past weekend was your favorite? And yesterday, it was something different. And before THAT it was a completely different one." I said grinning. "Hey, I can have as many favorite songs as I like." He said, and stuck out his tongue as we headed back to the building.

Tanner took off to go back to class inside, but before he left he looked like he wanted to kiss me goodbye. Almost did it on pure instinct actually. It was weird. I was drawn to him, and I know he felt it. We had to fight soooo hard to keep from kissing in the middle of the hallway. We had gotten so used to it being normal for us to kiss each other, we had forgotten that the REST of the world has a very different definitiof what 'normal' is. So, trying to 'stay in character', Tanner patted me awkwardly on the shoulder and said he'd see me after school. I can't disappoint him on his birthday. Not my angel. I needed an idea for a gift, and fast!

I made a few arrangements, some phone calls, spent about 8 dollars taking the bus back and forth, and put together a little something. And when I say little, I mean LITTLE. When I had finished, I just kinda looked at it...pitiful as it was. It was one of those rare moments when it hurt to be in love.

My mom drove me out to the party that weekend, and told me not to worry and that everything will be fine. You know, 'Mom' stuff. Then she drove away and left me to fend for myself against the sharks inside. Alright....here goes nothing. The house was already full of kids. Most of them were from school, some were Tanner's cousins and family who had come to visit from out of town. They were all so cute! Tanner's family looked like little versions of him at different ages, his looks ran in the family. And yet he outshined them all. He saw me when I walked into the backyard, and ran over to greet me with a big hug. "I KNEW you'd make it!" He grinned, and he took a hold of my hand, guiding me into the middle of the back yard. Kids were jumping and diving into the pool, his dad was barbecuing on the patio, and everyone else was just sort of standing around talking. It was like a teenage 'cocktail party' with soda. I noticed some of them got quiet when I showed up, but Tanner kept me at his side to send a message to them all that I was more than welcome. So they backed off...for now anyway. Still, it was a bit uncomfortable this time around. As close as Tanner and I were, I think they had me beat this time.

I saw the gift table, and was amazed at the stack of stuff sitting on top of it. Expertly wrapped in gold and silver, red and blue, giant bowties...the whole nine yards. I was thinking of trying to hide my present in with the others so no one would notice, but I was sure that it would be so lame compared to the others, it would stick out even MORE just by being on the table. So I kept it in my pocket the whole night. I'll give it to him in private later....maybe.

I brought a bathing suit with me, but I didn't do any swimming. And since I didn't really get along with most of the people there, and didn't know the rest of them, it only added to my already tainted mood. "Dude, check this out..." Tanner said, still having a good time. "...Amara wrote me a love letter and handed it to me in front of my mother! Hehehe, I know what she's doing. Get the parents to ask some questions, apply some pressure..."

I worked up a smile, "Maybe you should give her a shot, loverboy."

"What-ever!" He rolled his eyes in the cutest way, and thn bashfully looked down at his feet, "Besides, I already know what I want." He said under his breath. My smile got a bit brighter, and he turned red almost instantly. "Come on, you wanna go for a swim or something? Water's heated and everything."

"No...that's ok. You go ahead."

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. And Tanner..." I said, "Happy birthday."

"Thanks." He replied warmly, and went off to rejoin the party. With the music and the laughter and the food, I should have been having just as much fun as he was. But I wasn't. Too much on my mind. Too little in my heart.

The time came to open presents about an hour later, and I quietly shrugged off into a dark corner of the yard alone while everyone else gathered around the gift table. Tanner's eyes blossomed into pools of hazel splendor as he reacted to each present. Each gift got bigger and more elaborate, each box got better looking and was decorated with more flair. I felt even worse than before and was getting ready to sneak away. I could go back in the house, call my mom to pick me up, and be halfway home before Tanner even realized I was gone. All I've got to do is find a way out of here.

Just then, Tanner came over to me and said, "It's time for the cake. The first piece is mine, the second is yours. So choose wisely." He cheerfully threw an arm over my shoulder and led me back to where everyone else was. So much for my 'great escape'. We spent the rest of the party hanging out together. He must have known I was getting ready to leave, because he wouldn't let me out of his sight. Even when his family called him over to take pictures or whatever. But even though he did everything he ould to make me feel at home, I just wasn't into it. I didn't want anyone else to see me there. The 'pity child'. They'd look at my gift and laugh at me, or worse, Tanner would open it and give me a "...geez, that's really nice." in front of everybody. I just wouldn't be able to take that. It would hurt way too much.

Finally, after hours of emotional misery, the party thinned out and people started going home. Tanner and I were the last ones left, and he told his mom that I was still waiting for a ride. She left it at that and walked away. "Yeah, I should probably call so she can be on her way." I said, but he stopped me.

"Screw that. Call her later. This is our time now." And Tanner took a soft hold on my hand. "I don't want you to go yet."

"You know...you have to learn to stop being so damn cute all the time." I smiled.

"I will when you stop falling for it." He giggled a bit and told me to follow him down the hall.

We went down into his basement, complete with big screen tv, a built in bar, and plush recliner chairs. Everything about his house was so cool. He never once let go of my hand as he led me through the room and we sat on the couch. He said, "I couldn't help but notice that you weren't necessarily in a partying mood tonight. I hope they weren't giving you any trouble out there, I know how they can be."

"No...it's not that."

"Then what is it, hon? C'mon, I wanna see you smile. You're beautiful when you smile." He said, still grasping my hand. "Everything is beautiful when I see you smile."

He was just so hot when you heard him say things like that. Whenever he was serious, his face would form this sensuous reflection of teenage charm at its finest. He put his other hand on my knee, and his eyes searched mine with concern. I guess it was an opportunity for me to confess my feelings. "It's the gifts, Tanner. I mean, how am I gonna compete with those kids? Everything they got you was just so cool. And you loved them for it. But I didn't do half as well. Here I am, sitting here with this dorky thing." I said, taking the tiny box wrapped in a brown paper bag out of my pocket.

Tanner seemed a little surprised, "Derrick...you didn't have to buy me a present. Honestly."

"Yeah, sure. That's what everybody says...until you can't get them anything." I said, I whispered to myself, "I feel so stupid."

"Dude...I told you, don't sweat it. Those other gifts out there, they didn't even wrap them themselves. It's stuff ordered out of a catalogue. It's more about how it makes them look to give it to me, than it is about my birthday. You give me a gift everyday that we're together."

"That's not enough to show you how I feel. It's never enough." I said.

"Derrick..."

"Open it."

"It's not about..."

"Just open it. I've already come this far, I might as well make this a completely humiliating evening." I sat back, and I braced myself for his reaction.

He hesitated for a moment, trying to think of some way to make me believe that it wasn't neccessary, but he decided to open it anyway. Tanner delicately unwrapped the small box and found a cassette tape inside. I bought one of those 90 minute blank tapes from the store and made a little hand drawn cover for the box. I looked away and tried not to look Tanner in the eye as he opened the cassette case. In it was a simple mix tape I put together of all of his favorite songs. Every one that I could remember, new stuff, old stuff, slow stuff, dance stuff...everything that I knew he liked. I must have asked every single boy, girl, mom, dad, brother, sister, cat, and dog in TOWN if they had these songs on tape anywhere. I rode that bus back and forth all over the neighborhood and beyond, just trying to get them all, but I did it. I hoped and prayed that he would at least be convincing in telling me liked it. It wasn't much, but it was all I had.

The silence was deafening. He hadn't said anything yet, and I turned my head to avoid having to see him. I wish I had made that phone call. My mom would have been here by now and I could get away. He must think I'm SO STUPID! However, while still mentally kicking myself for being one of the 'un-rich'...I noticed a quiet sniffling sound coming from him. I straightened up, and looked over to see tears crawling over his cheeks, and was a bit confused.

He looked over at me and with a heartfelt sob, he wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. "Oh wow..." he said, "That's... that's so sweet of you. Thank you! How did you find all of these songs? It must have taken you forever. I've looked all over for them and I...I...Oh Derrick...I love you with all my heart! I really do!" He kept kissing my cheek between his sobs, and I didn't know if he was being serious or not. I was a little confused and he told me why it was so special for him. "You see this song here?" He said, looking at the listing on the back, "This song came over the radio when my best friend moved away in the fifth grade. I never saw him again, and I was so sad...for like...weeks afterwards. This song was what cheered me up." He picked another one, "And this one played when my grandma got sick and I had to take care of her. She used to love that song." Then his eyes widened a bit, "Ooh, and see this one...I was listening to this one on my walkman when I saw you on the bus for the very first time." He smiled.

I blushed a little, "I didn't know you listened to a walkman on the bus."

"After seeing you that first time, I didn't have to. You were much more entertaining."

I shared a grin with him, but I had to ask, "Tanner? You're not...you're not just saying all this to make me feel good are you?"

He leaned forward, and placed an angel's kiss on my lips. "Each one of these songs holds a different meaning for me, Derrick. A different feeling, a different memory...it's like you put my whole life on here, and now I can relive those moments all over again. Anytime I want." Another tear dripped from his eye, "Derrick, this is the best present I've ever gotten from anybody before. Ever."

"Well...it's no basketball hoop. But I needed you to know...I love you. You have to know."

"I do, baby. I do." He said, and got up to put it in his stereo. As the first song started to play, he dimmed the basement lights and quietly locked the door. "Just in case..." He crept back to me on the couch and I simply leaned back to offer my body to him in every possible way. He kissed me lightly, and then just held me close, the coolness of his tear stained face side by side with my own. He liked it. I couldn't believe it. My little piece of shit gift actually made him feel good. And for the first time since I had met him, I honestly felt like I had given him back at least a fraction of the unbelievable joy that he had given to me. For the first time, I felt like I had surprised him with something that he couldn't just get for himself. And that was magic. He told me that none of the other gifts had come close, that they didn't involve as much thought, as much care, and I believed him. Tanner knew how to raise my spirits...among other things.

Our kissing resumed, and he laid me back on the soft cushions below. My body already knew what to do, and it's reaction to him was pleasure personified. He slowly lowered himself onto me, his golden honey brown locks of hair falling intimately onto my forehead. He kissed me in a way that made my whole body weak while grinding his hips into mine slowly. Our boyish moans filled the room, unheard by the rest of the people in the house. They were upstairs in another part of the house. We couldn't have been more alone. The soft ballads of his new cassette playing in the background set a sexual tempo for us to move to. Tanner was so into it, even more than usual. I could feel his emotions pouring out of him as his slim teen body washed over me. It was like making love with our souls instead of just our bodies. Tanner's kisses were amazing, and it wasn't long before his lips and tongue moved down to tickle the soft nape of my neck. I held onto his slender waist, feeling his muscles swim erotically under his soft skin as he humped and pushed down into my body beneath him. He lifted my shirt, and let his tender kisses taste the pink texture of my nipples. He teased me there, my torso feeling red hot with the sensation of him sucking gently at my chest. I shoved my hardness up into his chest rhythmically as he moved lower, licking at the sponge soft flesh of my lower abdomen. Then he undid my pants and exposed my stiff member to the cool air aroud us. He gave me a momentary look of raw passion and proceeded to take me into his mouth. The heated wetness of his suction caused me to gasp outloud, feeling my hips involuntarily jut forward. His mouth was soooo hot on me. He sucked lovingly at me as I tried to keep from squirming too much under him. He was trembling, his motions making me wiggle playfully with his touch. Tanner's soft hair tickled my thighs and his chin rested on my balls with every down stroke. His breath would breeze through my sparse blond hairs, and it would tickle as they rustled softly every time he exhaled. His soft moans would send these bubbly vibrations shooting through me, and it got to the point where I just couldn't take anymore. I held off for as long as I could, but the closer I came to letting it go, the more adorable he would get. His childlike whimpers, his silken hair, and when he looked up into my eyes, with me still firmly placed between his lips, it was over. I tightened up and my body grew a mind of its own. I danced and spasmed uncontrollably as Tanner cheeks collapsed around my hardness and sucked it right out of me. My legs kicked out and my eyes were closed so tightly that I saw stars, my climax had me shaking violently. It took a couple of minutes before I could breathe again, and if Tanner had touched me, I would have exploded again.

As I gradually returned to my senses, I felt the cushions sink as Tanner crawled his way up my body. I opened my eyes to see him removing his pants and boxers to display his erect member to me up close. My mouth salivated for him, and my hands reached out to run my fingers up and down the sides of his waist. He looked down at me seductively as he moved further up to straddle my head. His tender thighs were on either side of my head, and I could feel the heat of his smooth skin on my cheeks as my nostrils were suddenly filled with that awesome smell of clean boyhood. His 6 inches pulsed in unison with his beating heart above my head while I kissed and licked the soft nuggets dangling beneath his shaft. Tanner lowered himself a little and I took his balls into my mouth, sucking them affectionately one at a time while he moaned above me. He twitched as I rapidly ran my tongue back and forth across the wrinkled flesh, bathing it, and letting my hands move back to the squeezable globes of his ass. I pulled him in closer to me, crushing his body against my face, increasing the feelings surging inside of me.

"Oh God...that feels good." He whispered. He threw his head back and put both of his hands on the arm rest behind my head to balance himself. I was enveloped in his scent, still sucking on his testicles as his hips thrust against my face again and again. I could hardly breathe, but I didn't want him to stop. I nevr wanted him to stop. Tanner reached down to take my hand and place it around his rock hard organ, begging me to release him from this sexual anticipation of relief. I started jacking him off rhythmically as he began squirming and wriggling, moaning and grunting, almost 90% of his weight being smashed against my face while I gobbled him whole. He impulsively contracted his stomach muscles and his thighs clamped onto either side of my head. He was close...sooooo close. He kept trying to close his legs, but my head was keeping them apart, and I just kept doing my best to please him from as many angles at once as my body would allow. My tongue went crazy on his sack as it drew itself upwards, readying for the moment of truth. My hand became a blur on his shaft, and he couldn't take anymore stimulation. Not for another second. He shivered and then bit his lip to hold back a wild scream as he shot his teen nectar clear over my head. His breathing came in gasps, and the strong pulsing shaft kept spasming out of control for what seemed like 100 sprays. I never stopped moving. I just kept going until he exhaustedly collapsed over me and physically begged me to stop.

"Oh man.....shit...." He said, unable to breathe. "God, I love you." He kissed me passionately as we rubbed ourselves together, and came down from our sexual highs in unison. We lay there silent for a while, when he started to giggle a little bit to himself.

"What? What's so funny?"

"You know...I'm gonna have to clean that up before tomorrow. Hehehe!" He said, referring to the mess he shot all over the basement floor.

"Hehehe, yeah...YOU are!" He miled down at me, and we rubbed noses before rolling off of the couch and onto the floor. We continued playfully kissing and rolling around for another half hour or so, just enjoying the feel of flesh against flesh. Let me tell you...my heart was never so full.

Afterwards, while still sitting next to each other naked on the floor, we listened to the rest of the tape together. Tanner's arm was draped over my shoulder, and he would hold me just a little bit closer everytime a new song would start. Bringing his feelings to the surface and reminding him of how much he enjoyed it. Then, when the tape was almost over, and Tanner was listening as the last song ended, the music was replaced by my own voice. I was reciting a short poem that I had written the day before, just to tell him how I feel. I got nervous about what he would think of it, but when his kiss landed sensuously on my cheek, and he laid his head gently on my shoulder, I knew that he liked it. He especially loved the line at the end that said, "If you were to live forever, let me live forever less one day, so that I may never have to know the pain of living without you." That awarded me another long kiss, and a stray tear or two.

"I love you more than life itself, Derrick. Don't ever leave me. This is the best birthday I've ever had. And it's all because you were here with me." He said, holding me in his arms.

"I'm glad you liked the present, Tanner..." Then, with a wicked smile, I said, "...but for MY birthday, I want a car!" We laughed and spent the rest of our time together in each other's arms. The tape ran out, we turned off the lights, and kissed in the dark until it got to be late and I had to call my mom before she started to worry. And even then he hated to see me go. Like I said, I fall more in love with Tanner every single day, today was no exception. And as long as we're together, nothing else matters. Nothing at all.