New Kid In School - 17. Chapter 17: "The Deepest Cut Of All"

One more day. One more day to say that I'm fifteen years old, and then wham...sixteenth birthday! I always wondered what was so special about a birthday, what made it such a glorious experience! I never felt any different, or acted any different. The only birthdays I was looking forward to were 18 and 21...those are the big ones. But for some reason, this year was different. This year, I felt older, more experienced, more mature. I tried to look back at my life before Ryan ever sat down behind me in that History class that one rainy day...but I couldn't seem to remember any good times preceding it. I couldn't think of a single fond memory of anyone else except for Ryan. As far as I was concerned, that day was my true birthday, the one the really gave me life. I looked at myself in the mirror again. Same brown hair, still messy and matted from sleeping. Same goofy smile, the one that decorated my face everyday since Ryan openly gave me his love and brought light to my once dark world. Same slim waist and muscle starved chest, hehehe...the one Ryan loves to lick and kiss so often. I still had the faintest little mark where my hickey used to be. I dreaded it at first, but now that it was gone, I almost started to miss the attention it brought me. Yeah, every part of me was pretty much the same. Cock was a little bigger though. Maybe it was time to measure again!

I went into my bedroom and took one of the rulers out of my bag. Then I went back into the bathroom and made sure the door was locked before starting 'the process'. I thought about my beautiful boyfriend, smiling down at me as he laid his smooth naked body over mine. I thought about his hardness pressing into me slightly, every spasm of his making him giggle with joy. His voice filled my ears, his scent filled my nostrils, and when I imagined us kissing, I could swear that I could taste his sweet lips against mine. I pictured my hands running up and down the length of his body, his tightened muscles on his back, the soft round flesh of his perfect ass, the tender backs of his thighs. Ohhh...Ryan was a recurring dream that I never grew tired of. I had to force myself to stop. Any more thoughts of my teen lover and I was sure to shoot all over the bathroom mirror. Then I'd have to wait to measure myself...at least fifteen minutes. I took the ruler down and let the cool plastic wedge itself just under my balls. After being so 'stimulated' even that turned me on. I looked down and put my thumb at the very tip of the head to mark my place. I picked it up and took a look.

"YES!" I whispered to myself. I made the sixth inch! Yeeeeehaw! I'm becomin' a man! I nearly started giggling out loud at the thought of bringing this up in the middle of lunch with Ryan and the others. Hehehe, better yet, why don't I just tell my mom at breakfast? Yeah, that'll be chaos to say the least.

I went to school with this weird built up 'I've got a six inch penis' kind of pride. There were still people who said hello to me, girls who giggled around me, and jocks who patted me on the shoulder as I walked by. And every time they said something, I felt like saying, "Yeah...AND I've got a six inch cock!" Wild. Anyway, as soon as I saw Ryan in History, he passed me a note that said we should ditch around fourth period and get some lunch. Near the bottom of the note were the words "Returning to school...optional" with a smiley face. That Ryan, always horny.

It felt good to see him after our little session yesterday. To think, we just held hands and talked. TALKED. Let's see Romeo and Juliet top that one. I couldn't believe how awesome he made me feel inside and out, how much love passed between us with even the simplest eye contact. I looked over at him and let him know that I was up for checking out of school early and he flashed me a shy smile that made e weak in the knees. This was definitely not a good time for the teacher to call me to the board! Ooops.

Later on that day, we made our way out to a taco and burrito place in town and had a pretty good time. They even had an old racing game in the back, which we played until we were out of change. It was a fun day. As I was walking back home with him, I realized what I had in Ryan. A friend, a lover, a companion. Someone who would never judge me, he would never turn his back on me, or leave me stranded and alone. Ryan was not only my friend, he was my brother, my soulmate, my twin...and oh how I loved him for it. He was the only person I ever felt could understand me. He was the only person I could shed tears in front of and not feel like a wuss or a sissy. I had so much love to give, and he took it all without resistance, only to give me ten times as much in return. As the afternoon sun shined down on us on our way to his house, I saw the beautiful aura coming from him, and in the middle of the street, had to throw an arm on over his shoulder and playfully kiss him on the cheek. He turned bright red and looked around to see who was looking before laughing and kissing me hard on the lips, bending me backwards until I was laying on my back in the street. I laughed hysterically as I tried desperately to avoid his playful kisses on my face. I squirmed back and forth under him as he kept giggling and basically pecking at my face. We rolled around for a few more minutes until we got scared that someone might actually see us out here. He got up first and helped me to my feet.

We looked down the street to his house and saw no car in the driveway, as to be expected in the early afternoon. "I'll race ya?" Ryan said, his smile making me met as always.

"You got it."

"Okay...ready...set...." And before I knew what happened he had taken off top speed and was halfway down the street!

"YOU CHEATED!" I screamed as I took off after him. Naturally he was in the house first, and it only took a few seconds for me to catch up.

"Cheater, you never said go." I said, still out of breath.

Ryan looked at me with intense lust in his eyes and whispered, "...go." Then he grabbed me and french kissed me as he led me into the house. Our tongues wrapped and intertwined as we blindly fumbled up the stairs to his room. We glided across Ryan's already messy room, kissing and dropping articles of clothing along the way, until we both dropped naked onto his bed. We kissed breathlessly, passionately, until all five of my senses were tantalized by Ryan's warm body and tender skin. I got on top of him and he wrapped his legs around my waist, whimpering quietly and breathing hard as the two of us kissed even deeper. We were mashing our lips together hard and Ryan was pushing his hard cock up against my soft warm belly. He was moaning loudly, desperately, trying to get every piece of himself into me, and I pushed back, trying my best to give it to him. God he was so cute! He smelled so clean and fresh! His skin was so smooth and tight! His voice was so sexy and young! I could never get enough of him, ever.

He rolled me over and changed positions, pushing himself into me even harder. He was propped up on his arms and his head was leaning back as he ground in between my legs. He arched his back and his neck stretched in front of me. I grabbed two soft handfuls of his round globes and squeezed as I rose up to kiss and lick his neck. The second my lips made contact, his head snapped back down and he collapsed on top of me, every inch of his perfect young body covering mine. The whole bed moved as we continued to roll back and forth over each other. Kissing and humping one another like never before. We really wanted this bad! I got on top again, then Ryan, then me...then, as Ryan was rolling me over for the last time before we both exploded, I felt something. It was this strange feeling of dislocation, of unbalance...and before I could stop kissing Ryan to tell him what was happening....BOOM!

Ryan rolled right off the bed and on to the floor! HAHAHAHA!!! We couldn't stop laughing! Just seeing Ryan laying there on the floor, naked, holding his head and trying not to laugh was almost enough to make me wet myself! He tried not to laugh, in fact he just blushed at first, but I was laughing so hard that he couldn't help it. Soon we were both hysterical and laughed until our bellies ached. Then, when we had calmed down a little, he pulled me off the bed and onto the floor with him and we kissed again.

"I never thought I could love anyone so much." He said. Our lips met again and again, our love passing through them in gusts of hot air. I licked a long trail down Ryan's hairless chest and stomach, until I came down to lick gently at his balls. It seemed like every wrinkle on his soft sack had it's own sweet flavor, and it drove me wild with lust. I turned to gently nibble and chew at the insides of his supple thighs and he moaned his appreciation. He started to rub my hair slightly, but soon moved down to turn me around to gently pull me into a 69 position. He slowly reached his tongue up to lick and suck at my soft nuggets as I did the same. We teased each other for what seemed like hours, each of our balls rolling erotically on the other's tongue. It caused a weird, queasy feeling in my stomach, like when you're falling on a roller coaster. It caused me to tense up and relax involuntarily, and the only relief we gave from the feeling, were the few instances when we would give our tongues a short rest by sucking the balls into our mouths and working them with our soft young lips. Ryan reached up and took a hold of my straining cock, stroking it lovingly as he continued to suck my testicles. The feeling was absolutely incredible! I did the same for him, and we masturbated each other wildly while still sucking and licking, slurping and moaning. The queasy feeling increased 100 times for every second that I came closer to orgasm, and finally, I reached the point of no return. I cried out, my screams muffled by Ryan's hot genitals, as my cream shot out of me and onto Ryan's stomach. I kept going and Ryan must have been set off by my orgasm, because he started gyrating his hips under me. Seconds later, he began thrusting upwards, his cock sliding up and down my neck, as bursts of his hot cum sprayed my chest and stomach. We were exhausted, weak, and breathless, but we didn't want to stop. We continued licking each other for another five minutes in that position until we were too weak to go on. I rolled off of my young lover and nearly passed out from the joy in my heart. I've never been so infatuated with a single person before, it was nice.

We climbed back on to the bed and looked at the clock. It was only 3:00 and we knew Ryan's dad didn't get off from work until five, so we figured we could just take the time to cuddle. We laid on the bed and watched TV for a while. We were still naked and shivering from our little encounter. We even spent a little while talking about how the ball sucking thing made us feel. We had never really tried that before, it was kind of cool. Ryan was using the remote to flip through the channels while I just basically laid my head on his chest and reveled in his teen god of a body. I kissed his nipples every once in a while, and he would lean down and kiss the top of my head in return. It seemed like a deep sigh would escape my lips every ten seconds, and every sigh signaled me falling even more in love.

He found some weird show on public access that looked like a gameshow for Chippendale dancers. It was weird, just a bunch of beefcakes in nothing but bikini briefs, dancing and handing out gifts to the contestants when they won. It was so hilarious, we decided to leave it on. The host was some Alex Trebekk look alike, and the women looked like everyday housewives. Every time they got a question right, the bells and whistles would go off and two guys would dance down the aisle and present her with her prize while twisting their hips to cheesy pop music. They'll put anything on public access! We watched and laughed for a good hour, then I ran my fingers lightly down Ryan's chest. I stopped at his testicles and ran my fingertips back and forth underneath them, feeling the downy soft hairs spring to attention as his erection straightened itself out. His back arched up off of the bed and it was impossible for him to stay still. He wrapped both arms around me and kissed me on the forehead while I continued feeling his youth in my hands.

"Sigh...why can't you stick around tomorrow?" I whined, wishing Ryan could at least have a little fun with me on my birthday before running off somewhere.

"I want to Randy, really I do. But I have to go back to my home town and get some shots taken for school vaccination. Then my mom wants me to spend the night with her while I'm there. She's pulling the old quality time trick on me again."

"I know...but can't you just stick around for a little while after school." I whispered in his ear while placing a soft kiss on his cheek. I rubbed his sack a little harder and he gasped out loud.

"Hehehe...you sure make it hard to say no baby. But seriously, I can't. And if I ditch anymore school this week they'll have an actual teacher call my house instead of that stupid computer. Then I've had it." Ryan saw the disappointment on my face and laughed at my pouty expression. "Dude, I'll be back the day after tomorrow! Then we'll have sex until they put us both in a coma!" H said kissing me on the lips. Then he gave me a sympathetic look. "I'll be here for you Randy. Okay? I promise."

His words always made me feel better, no matter what the situation. We started to make out again when Ryan burst out into laughter. I looked over at the TV and saw the two dancers standing on a table and pumping their crotches right next to the contestants face while she shoved money in their underwear. We laid back and laughed ourselves silly. "Man, I'd love to be on this show!" I said.

Ryan looked over at me and replied, "Hehe, you better not!" and he hit me with a pillow. We had a lot of fun that afternoon. I couldn't wait to be 18, then maybe we could move out, get married, and be together all the time. That...would be magic.

In school the next day, I got birthday greetings from people who I've never even seen before, much less talked to. Some of the girls even gave me cards...which incidentally had phone numbers written on the inside. This one came from a girl named Jennifer who was always cool with me, even in elementary school, but we kind of went our separate ways. It happened once her hormones started developing towards me, and mine started developing towards a guy named Nick in one of my classes. It was weird. But getting a birthday card from her was just a strange experience, because I never thought she'd ever have a thing for me. Jenny and me were like siblings, but if I was straight, she'd be the one I'd go for. One card even came from a cute guy in my Art class, Ariel, who slid it into my hand secretly on his way to his next class. He was gorgeous too, somebody who you never would have thought was gay if there weren't so many rumors going around. I think he was closer to being 'out of the closet' than he knew. But he didn't seem to care. But out of all these lovely people wandering in and out of my thoughts, Ryan outshined them all. It just hurt so much to know he couldn't be with me tonight, but hey...at least my mom didn't hire a clown. I was able to get away with a happy birthday greeting and a kiss this morning. I was glad to see that mom was finally getting back to normal. Some of my family called and wished me well, I got a few cards, some clothes, and an extra 75 bucks in cash. Ryan was right, I'd be able to get a much better cd player with this much money. But it was just another day without Ryan.

I must have walked faster than I thought, because I was the first one to get to the table during lunch that day. I sat down and started eating my sandwich when I heard singing. I looked up, and there was Matt and Sam holding up a tray with a Butterfinger candy bar and a candle stuck in the middle. Ryan and Tyler walked behind them and were singing happy birthday....loud. I immediately blushed and the four of them finished in a grand finally that almost deafened me! It was soooo cool!

They put down the candy bar in front of me and a few people in the lunchroom clapped and cheered at the cheesy display. Ryan looked me right in the eye and said, "Make a wish."

"For what? I already have everything I could ever want." I said. We held the gaze for a few seconds before Sam cleared his throat and reminded us that we were in a public cafeteria here. I blew out the candle, and the five of us joked about it for the rest of lunch hour. It was great. I saw Tyler later in the hallway and figured that this might be my chance to officially make amends. We had been through some tough times, and after all of this he was still one of the best friends a guy could ask for.

"Hey Tyler, wait up." I said as I ran over to him. The hall was pretty empty and we had a bit of a chance to talk. "Look dude...I know that I've been...difficult lately. Anyway...what you did at lunch was really cool, and...I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Tyler looked a bit frightened at first, then confused. "You..you're apologizing...to me?"

"Yeah. I owe you that much...after all we've been through. Friends?" I stuck out my hand and Tyler took it cautiously, like he was expecting to me to slug him one. Then I pulled him closer and gave him a big hug around the neck. He didn't say a word, in fact he seemed to be shaking a little bit. When he pulled back, he looked like he was holding back something. "What's the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing...look, I gotta go okay. I'll see you later."

"Um...okay. Sure. Say, maybe I'll meet you three guys at the arcade later. It's better than spending my birthday with mom." Suddenly Tyler got white as a sheet and stopped dead in his tracks.

"We're not going to the arcade. Not today. We...we're just not going. See ya." Then he turned around and quickly walked away. What the hell was that all about? Tyler just baffled me sometimes.

It was the second to last period of the day and I was in art class. We were making some kind of weird sand paintings with glue, one of those projects that we do in high school, but seems more like a kindergarten activity. I sat and struggled with a design for a few minutes, when all of the sudden, Ariel walked up and offered to sit next to me. I didn't really know him all that well, but what the heck, he wasn't that bad. He sat down, but I kind of expected him to say something. He never did. He just sort of sat there, occasionally looking up at me, and turning away the second I lifted my head. "Yep" I thought to myself, "He's gay alright." I kind of giggled at him and said hello again. Ariel was always kind of quiet, a really shy kid with a small brown mole on his cheek. Girls were really attracted to him, but could never get close enough to know anything about him. He had dark brown hair that fell over his eyes on one side more than the other. He had brown eyes and a slim waist. He had these thin but pouty lips that just looked so cute on him. He had a babyface like a 10 year old. But I never really thought about 'knowing' him before. He was just a shadow to me and everyone else. The kid who sat in the back of the classroom and never really came out of his shell...or his 'closet' as the case may be.

Ariel returned the hello nervously, and reached out a hand for me to shake, but in the process he knocked an entire bucket of sand in my lap! We both jumped up and I started to brush it away, but already I could feel it going down into my pants. Ariel started apologizing and sweating and getting all bent out of shape about it, but I told him it was okay. Actually, it was kind of funny to see someone else fumble and stutter for a change. I asked the teacher for a pass and went to the bathroom to clean up.

I tried to get all the sand off of my lap and leave it at that, but there was too much in my underwear to go back to class. So I took some paper towels and unbuttoned my pants to clean myself out. Then it occurred to me that it might not look so good if someone were to walk in and see me with a handful of paper towels, my pants unbuttoned and both hands inside. So I walked into one of the stalls and closed the door. The sand was scratchy and harsh, but I was going to have to get it out somehow. Just then, I heard the bathroom door open and I heard Ryan's voice saying it was clear. I heard the door lock, and the next voice I heard...was Tyler's.

"So are we ready to go for tonight?" Ryan said.

"Dude, I don't know about this. This is getting really weird sneaking around like this. If Randy knew we were in here like this he'd kick both our assess and never speak to us again."

"Tyler, don't worry so much. I can handle Randy. This'll be fun. I've never done anything like this before and I want it to be perfect."

Hearing Ryan say those words made my stomach twist into a knot and my balls shriveled up to the size of raisins. I thought back to my thoughts of their little 'fling', of my nightmare, of Ryan lying about the tutoring sessions, about Tyler's nervous twitch in the hallway, and most of all...about Ryan's curiosity of what a three-way would be like. I almost started to cry right then and there, but I was afraid that my sobs would give me away. I held it back as much as I could as they went on.

"We can do it at my house tonight," Ryan continued. "My dad thinks I'm going home 'til tomorrow and he's going out partying tonight. So the house will be all ours."

"Ryan, he's gotta know something's up. He hugged me in the hallway today, and I feel so bad for lying to him like this. I can't imagine what he thinks about me now, and this is gotta be tearing him up inside."

"Like I said, don't worry about it. Now look, we'll sneak out of school at the next break, and then we'll get everything ready. I'll call Randy at like 8 o 'clock to make sure he's not out wandering the streets or anything, and then we can do it. Cool?"

"Alright, but I hope you know what you're doing."

Then there was a short silence and I heard Ryan give Tyler a hug. "Thanks Tyler. This means so much to me."

I heard the bell ring outside and the two of them picked up their bags and left, leaving me in the stall to cry my eyes out. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. There was no way that I could just leave this up to being my vivid imagination. I wasn't making this up, this wasn't in my head, this was real. And nothing hurt me more. I dried my eyes as best I could and finished shaking the last few grains of sand out of my pants. I sulked and walked back to get my bags out of class. Ariel was holding my bag outside of the classroom when I got back and he handed it to me as I walked by. He apologized again and again and I kept telling him it was alright.

"Randy...is something wrong?" He asked.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay."

"You know...you can talk to me about anything, I kind of have a knack for..."

"I SAID..." I started shouting and saw Ariel retreat back into his quiet little shell, hurt and confused, so I lowered my voice and tried to stay calm, "..I don't want to talk about it. Not right now, okay?"

Ariel had already been hurt though, and he just kind of nodded and walked away. Great, now I've hurt his feelings too. What's next? I walked by the window and saw Ryan's car pull up, then Tyler, Sam, and Matt all got in and the four of them took off, laughing and smiling, cheering even. I felt so low that I just knew that I wouldn't make it through my next class without bursting into tears, so I just grabbed my jacket and left. Happy birthday Randy! Enjoy it!

I walked home and waited all afternoon to get the courage to get out of bed. I just snuggled there, alone, in the same spot where me and the guy who I thought was my one and only true love, had held hands just the day before. Maybe it was me. It HAD to be me. I was the sap who didn't want to go to the arcade all those times. I was the jerk who cheated on him with Tyler. I was the baby who didn't want to get involved with a three-way. Maybe I should have said yes. Maybe I should've gone through with it to satisfy his curiosity, at least I'd be there. We could have discovered it together. How could I let those guys steal my boyfriend away from me? I thought he loved me. I REALLY thought he loved me. We were becoming so close. Why didn't I SAY anything before when I had the chance? I could have stopped this! It's my fault. From every possible way of looking at it, it was my fault. I could have sworn, that in that one moment of loneliness and pain, I actually felt my heart stop. And the life that Ryan had given me so willingly...was gone.

I sulked around the house until 8 o'clock rolled around, and sure enough, the phone rang as planned. I didn't answer. 5 minutes later it rang again...but I refused to let him know I was home. I knew the second I picked up that phone, Ryan would know where I was, and he'd be safe to start fooling around with his buddies. I sat there with tears in my eyes, burning wildly as I stared at the wall. Half filled with sorrow, half filled with fury. I took all that I could stand, and now it was time to have this out once and for all so that maybe I could start the healing process. Maybe then I could get on with my life. Maybe then...I could try to find another Ryan to take his place...if that was even possible. This is it...forgive or forget. I've gotta make a stand now before I lose him forever.

I marched over to his place. But instead of ringing the bell, I saw the door slightly cracked. I walked into the house and it was dead quiet except for some music playing in Ryan's bedroom. I walked upstairs slowly and saw the door to his room closed. I started tearing up almost immediately, but somehow found the strength to move on. I walked ever so slowly, and wrapped my fingers around the doorknob, fearful of what I might find.

I opened the door and looked down. The first thing I saw was Tyler's shirt crumpled up on the floor, Ryan's shirt laying next to it. I sobbed suddenly and they both jumped to attention. I looked up and saw the both of them, terrified, caught in the act. Ryan was sitting on his bed in nothing but a pair of socks and his underwear. Tyler was standing at the foot of the bed, shirtless, with his pants half way down his thighs. They had made the plans, made the phone call, declared it safe, and were ready to jump on each other in sickening lust. The two of them were shocked, and as I looked them both over, they blurred from my vision, as tears overflowed from my eyes!