New Kid In School - 28. Chapter 27: "Close A Door, Open A Window"

A weekend of dancing, cleaning the garage, sweeping, scrubbing, and extensive play of arcade games...no matter what kind of shape you're in...is bound to take its toll on a normal teenage body. I woke up on Monday morning to the annoyingly loud scream of my alarm clock, and even though I'd had about 7 hours of sleep, it only felt like 2 or 3. My eyes were tired, my arms were weak strips of my flesh that didn't want to move from my sides. My legs felt like they had run a marathon and my body was crying out for just ten more minutes of sleep. My morning erection seemed to be quite energetic though. Good to know some parts are NEVER too tired. I lazily forced myself to roll over and hit the snooze button, then enveloped myself once again in the nurturing warmth of my blankets. Except for the womb itself, I couldn't imagine a place more comfortable. It only took me a few seconds to glide off into dreamland again, but the second I was deep enough to really enjoy it...again came the blaring noise that I was trying to shut off in the first place. They say the snooze button is for convenience, but some mornings it can be the most undeniably aggravating invention since the "kid brother"! My need for sleep and my need to wake up for school battled it out for a few more rounds, my clock winning every round, and soon my mother was knocking on my door to side with the alarm. Sigh....GRRRR!!!! Fine! I'm up, I'm up! Jesus!

I left the softened bliss of my bed sheets and groggily wiped the 'sand' out of my eyes as I headed to the shower. I had only been conscious for a short while, and this was already shaping up to be a long day. As the warm water washed over my face, I thought back to the party and wondered what would be different today? Maybe nothing at all. Maybe everything all at once. I mean, every time I see Jenny now, I'm going to think about that night, and I know she will too. Same as with all the other kids in every single one of my classes, all day long. As I lathered up my slim stomach and chest, I realized how many times I had repeated this same thought process everyday. The same bewilderment of my life and where it was going to take me...if anywhere. The future looked so distant to me, a foggy haze of what's to come. Thinking this much certainly kills the need to jack off in the shower. As soon as I had finished, I dried myself off and stared once again at my 'magic mirror'. My brown hair had been turned black as it lay wet against my scalp, my eyes tinted a shade of pink from being so tired. More thoughts. More 'what-ifs'. Will things be different with my classmates? With Jenny? With Ryan? Will Tyler be talking to me? Will Sam and Matt still feel unwelcome at our table? Will Ariel join us for lunch, or shy away from it? Seems like every morning there's a billion different dilemmas to think about and I sit here looking in this mirror every morning, trying to strategize and prepare for whatever comes my way. I never seem to get it right, but it helps to try sometimes.

I was a few minutes late to class that day, so I was fortunate to avoid the early morning gossip train for another 45 minutes. Didn't need people asking me how the party was or who invited me or whatever other news they were looking to spread around school before anyone else had the chance to get the scoop. I swear, if teenagers worked for the big national newspapers, the world would be well informed indeed. I took my seat next to Ryan as always, and he pretended to look down at his watch with concern, teasing me for walking in after the bell. "Awww...shut up. YOU weren't subjected to back breaking labor for most of the weekend." I whispered.

"Mmmmm...talk dirty to me, ya savage!" He giggled quietly. I smiled back at him, but while looking over his shoulder, I caught a glimpse of Hailey in the back of the class. She was not-so-secretly waving her hands frantically in order to tell me to get Ryan's attention. Great...so THIS is what I have to put up with now?

"Hey Romeo...your girlfriend wants you." I said. Ryan gave me a tired look and sighed to himself before putting on a fake smile and turning around to wave back. Then Hailey blew him a kiss and he did the same, turning back to me to roll his eyes. "YOUR fault, not mine." I said.

"That's the THIRD kiss today already! Geez, whatta weirdo!" He said. And he was totally serious. He had this childish pouty look on his face, and for some reason it was so damn cute to me that it was funny. He looked like a little kid that realized he wasn't getting a pony for Christmas. I turned away for a second, but the laughs were going to come out one way or another. I began to snicker to myself and he looked at me weird. "What?" But hearing him say that only made it worse. "WHAT? You goofball, this isn't funny!" But it WAS funny in a way, and I could see him holding back a smile himself.

I had to fight hard to keep from bursting out into a fit of laughter, but the more I fought it, the funnier the whole thing got. I didn't even know WHY. I think I was just laughing at the fact that I was trying not to laugh. "Is there something funny Mr. Stephens?" My teacher's voice came out of nowhere like the voice of God Himself, and the whole class turned to look.

"Ahem...'cough'...no sir. Just need a drink is all." I tried damn hard to not even crack a smile, but I'm pretty sure that I was anyway. I held my breath and didn't dare make eye contact with anybody, for fear that even the slightest giggle from them would set me off.

"Make it quick then." The teacher said.

"Make what quick sir?"

"...your DRINK Randy, your drink. Make it quick!"

"OH! Yeah, right...k. Be right back." And I stood up to run out of the class and hopefully get myself back in line before anything else went wrong. I could hear Ryan snickering behind my back as I walked out, and I knew that was good for a little teasing when I got back.

I figured I could go to our private hideaway bathroom and let out some giggles without anybody thinking I'm some kind of nut. So I made my way through the halls and walked in. I wasn't at ALL prepared for what I saw when I opened the door and came around the corner. I stopped dead in my tracks and all of my 'giggles' left me at once. My mouth dropped open, my eyes widened, and this strange fear ran throughout my entire body. A strange combination of terror and embarrassment. All I wanted to do at that moment was turn around and leave before they saw me, but it was too late, and the looks on their faces had DOUBLED the amount of horror that was on mine.

It was Tommy from the party, and Wil...the so-called dynamic duo... both of them...standing in the middle of the bathroom...KISSING! And not just a peck on the cheek kind of kiss, but a deep, deep tongue kissing that even rivaled the stuff Ryan and I did in the privacy of our own homes! They were kissing so passionately that they didn't even notice me at first, and Tommy's hands were all over Wil's soft ass cheeks, gripping and kneading them so tightly that he was lifted to his tip toes as he was crushed against him. Wil had his hands full of Tommy's dark brown locks, and was moaning quietly into his mouth. It was...it was...I don't know WHAT it was! SURPRISING just doesn't seem to cover it!

When they realized that I was in the room, they jumped back from each another like they were dodging a bolt of lightning. Their lips came apart with a loud wet sucking noise, and they were both...um...'visibly excited'. There was a long uncomfortable pause, and the silence was almost deafening. Neither one of us knew exactly what to say, or how to say it. We couldn't make eye contact at all, and my eyes went down to the floor. I was shaking, and Tommy was breathing so hard that he sounded like he was almost ready to cry. Ok...so it was a bit too late for either one of us to just pretend it didn't happen, so...what to do, what to do?

"Uh...uh...Randy....?" Wil started.

"I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!!!" I shouted out. Then put my hands over my mouth quickly, my eyes wide. It was the first thing that came to mind. I saw Tommy cringe and turn his head away, obviously angry at himself for being stupid enough to get caught. "I mean...I mean...look, it's none of my business, right? Just...pretend I was never here, ok?"

"You're DAMN RIGHT you were never here! Got it? If anyone hears about this...a whisper, a giggle, ANYTHING...I swear to God..." Tommy said, walking up on me in an attempt to intimidate me. His fists were balled up and he had me by an inch or two. But his eyes showed more fear than anger. More sadness, a kind of desperation. He didn't mean a word of it, I'm sure. But I began to wonder if he'd use that fear to pummel me anyway.

"Tommy! Geez! This is Randy for crying out loud! Dude, look...we can't have this get out, ok? I mean it. Just...please, don't mention this to anybody. Please?" Wil was so quiet about it, but he didn't seem as bothered by the whole thing as Tommy was. Tommy was practically shitting bricks over it, and I was beginning to worry if he was going to kill me and bury me under the football field just to keep me quiet.

"You have my word dude. you both do, I swear." I raised my right hand and vowed not to breathe a word of it to anybody at all. Then I came out with, "I-I-I just never thought that you guys were...were..." I was about to say 'gay' but the look on Tommy's face would have burst into tears if I had said it aloud. "...together." I said. I thought that might soften the blow a little.

"I'm outta here! Later." Tommy grabbed his backpack and wiped some loose tears from his eyes as he harshly pushed his way past me and left in a frustrated huff. Wil and I stood in the room alone, not knowing what to say next. I heard him sigh out loud to himself, and I knew he was a bit stressed over Tommy's reaction. I wasn't sure why this was bothering me so much. I mean hell, *I* was gay! So what the heck was I worrying about? I think maybe it was the idea of being 'caught' that made me so uneasy. That could have been me and Ryan getting caught, THEN what would I do? What if it wasn't someone as 'understanding' that had walked in? Tommy and Wil could have been exposed all over school by the end of the day. I felt kinda bad for them both. I can only imagine what it must be like to have someone see you secretly kissing another boy. That's NOT the way I want people to find out.

"Wil...look...I'm so so soooo sorry. I didn't know. Really." I had to apologize, I'm sure they didn't want someone to find out this way either. Maybe they didn't want anyone to find out at all.

"It's ok Randy. He told me we should be more careful. If anything, he'll blame me for this. I was just...in 'need', you know? I miss him so much during the day." I still had my head down in embarrassment, my cheeks turning red. "I'm sorry, that's gotta sound pretty sick to you." He smiled. I could tell that Wil was one of those kids who knew about himself at an early age. It was in his attitude. He was still a bit shaken, sure, but I could tell that he was used to wanting this sort of thing, and he was somewhat comfortable in his feelings. "You know Randy? I'm just thankful that it was YOU who came in and not some queer bashing asshole or something. I'm kinda glad somebody knows. Somehow, I don't think Tommy is going to take it too well though." Then he leaned over and whispered, "He's still trying to convince himself he's straight." He giggled a bit and leaned his lithe body against the sink. His blond hair gliding back onto his shoulders as his shirt hugged onto his slim hips. He was cute, I'll give him that. It made me wonder how many cute gay boys ATTENDED this damn school anyway.

"So....does anyone else know?" I asked shyly.

"Oh God no! If Tommy thought I had told someone, he'd totally MURDER me. You know, the thing is, if someone were to just ask me, I'd prolly tell them. I mean, what's the big deal really? I just don't want them to start spreading it to other people that I'd rather not have in my business."

"Are you, like, out of the closet....or whatever?" I must admit, I was becoming a bit enchanted by this whole 'who cares' philosophy of his. It was a bit refreshing.

"No. Like I said, Tommy won't allow it. By the time I was really sure about who I was and what I wanted, we were a couple."

"How did you find out?"

Wil grinned bashfully and shyly twirled one of his blond strands with his finger while biting his lip to keep from smiling all the way. "I...um...I fell in love." Then I saw him blush and he covered his face with his hands, a large grin bursting out of his timid smile. It was so cute, it was like he was just love struck all over again for the first time from the memory. "Tommy and I had been friends since we were little, and as sick as it sounds, I realized I loved him while we were peeing against the same tree on a camping trip."

"Hehehehe...watersports, huh? Kinky." I giggled.

"Hahaha...yeah, I guess it was. I just remember getting this incredible urge to look. I HAD to. It wasn't a sexual thing, but it was more than everyday childish curiosity. And...I was VERY happy with what I saw. It looked so CUTE to me, and I was just...just...so in love. In that one instant. Wow, I was only 11 or 12 then. But I knew I was in love. I just wanted to be with him all the time, and talk to him, and laugh with him, and hold him. He was sooo beautiful to me. I just got this hot rush of energy every time I saw him. He was the first and last person I ever told about my feelings. I told him on his BIRTHDAY of all days! Hehehehe, he was so gorgeous. So unaware of my love for him, that it only made me want him more." Wil was looking up at the ceiling in awe, staring off into space, his smile widening with every misty memory of his first true love. His eyes sparkled as he talked about meeting Tommy, and I knew at once that this boy was in love for real, no imitations. I've seen that look before. Suddenly, he got quiet and looked down again to see me watching him. "Oh...oh dude, I'm sorry. I'm getting all weird and spacey on ya. I've just never told that story to somebody before. It's kinda nice."

"No problem, go ahead. It's cool."

"You sure? I mean it won't gross you out or anything?" He asked.

"Hahahaha...don't worry dude. I think I can handle it." And so off he went. We both picked a part of the counter where the sinks were, and just talked and talked and talked. Wil basically spilled his guts about everything him and Tommy had done together. But he always left out the sex parts. He always 'hinted' at it, but then went with 'so he kissed me and we laid back on the bed and *zurbur zurbur zurbur* then it was over. So that was cool.' What the heck is *zurbur zurbur zurbur*??? I wanted all the dirty little details! Grrr! But I couldn't ask, because as far as he knew, I was still straight as an arrow. I suppose I should have told him something, but I wasn't quite sure about that yet. I didn't know if I should take that leap of faith yet. I've been really lucky so far, and I don't want to jinx it. But it was so sweet to hear him talk about it.

We continued to talk and just when he was telling me about sex in the woods and some kind of 'marble marriage'...I heard the bell ring. The BELL??? Holy SHIT! I had been sitting in here so long talking to Wil that I had completely forgotten that I was only supposed to be going for a drink of water! Dammit, I was sure to hear about THAT when I went to class the next day. "Shit, I've gotta run. Look...it was really nice talking to ya Randy. I mean that. Thank you. I usually have to keep so many of my true feelings under wraps." And then he walked up and gave me a quick hug. He was so slim, so soft, he was like the Taylor Hanson prototype before God made the real thing. It was cool. He grabbed his bag and then took out a notebook. "Say, I know we don't know each other that well, but um...maybe we can keep in touch or something? Whaddya say?"

"Sure. That'd be cool." I said, and we wrote down each other's phone numbers and everything. Wow, my first gay friend...um...except for all of the others of course. I wonder if he knew how many of us there were. Funny how we seem to subconsciously seek each other out.

Just before leaving the bathroom, Wil turned to me with a smile and said, "I'll try to give ya a call this weekend, ok? And say hello to Ryan for me." He smiled. "DON'T tell him I said this..." Then he leaned in closer to whisper, "But Ryan...is HOT!!! I mean HOT!!!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh? You think so, huh?"

"YES! My GOD! The whole time he was tutoring me for English I was like, drooling over him. He has GOT to be one of the cutest boys on Earth! Mmmmm...if that boy tastes HALF as good as he looks, I'd be in heaven! But DON'T tell him I said that!!! It'd be way too weird! But he's just....mmmm...God....mouthwatering! Hehehehe!"

"We will definitely have to talk more later dude!" I told him, and he playfully slugged me in the shoulder and walked out. It took me a few minutes to let all of what had just happened register in my mind. It was so freaky, walking in on two boys kissing. I had seen Tyler and Sam and Matt kiss before, but I KNEW them. This was different. This was accidental and unexpected. I had met Wil and Tommy before, but I never really interacted with them before. They were no more than a slightly familiar face in the halls. Until Ryan started tutoring him, Wil wasn't even THAT much. But this...this changed everything. It made me think. And suddenly I didn't feel like the lone member of such an extremely rare, nearly distinct, group of perverts anymore. It was like...like...there were MORE people like us. Everywhere. Where we didn't expect it. Actors, and presidents, and students, and teachers, and even parents. It was like I suddenly became aware of the fact that there had to be a lot of other gay boys in this school and in every other school around the country. Boys that the media and the schoolbooks don't want us to know about. Boys they're afraid of. As though letting people think it's ok to love who you want to will somehow breakdown the very fabric of society as we know it. Trying to keep us from ever meeting each other and indulging in our sick little pleasures. Corrupting other teenage boys with this awful love in our hearts. Until Ryan, I was one of those lost boys. I had easily convinced myself that there were NO gay people anywhere in my school at ALL. And that there never would be. Nobody talked about it, nobody addressed it, and if anything, it was made fun of at every given opportunity. Now I have a boyfriend, a male secret admirer, and three gay friends who most people would never expect. Now I had found two more people who were in the same boat. We were FAR from being alone. We just never really noticed the gay kids around us before, I guess. I was so positive that there weren't any, that I had altogether 'altered' my vision of the boys that I saw every single day. Wild.

I snapped out of it eventually and left the room myself. But the image of those two together will be embedded in my memory forever. As I walked to my locker, I saw Ryan standing there...talking to JENNY!!! Shit! Talk about changing your focus! Ok...maybe I can turn around and duck out before either one of them sees me.

"There he is now! Ohhhh Raaaaandyyyyy!" Ryan called out with a sly grin. DAMMIT! Caught me! I turned around and saw my boyfriend and...girlfriend?....standing side by side. I slouched my shoulders slightly and walked over to join them. "Why Randy, Jenny here was just telling me what an EXCELLENT kisser you are! Wow!" He said.

I blushed immediately. "Um.....really?"

"Yes. You must have been taking lessons or something to get that good!" Ryan was pushing me, as always. Did he have no shame?

"Hehehe...shut up! Hey, Jenny. How are ya?"

"Better....now that YOU'RE here Randy." She said, and she cuddled up to my arm. Now...I won't say that it didn't feel good, but it was awkward. Maybe it's because she was a girl, or maybe it's because I'm already in love. Madly in love, and that will never change. I had already found the piece of the dream I was looking for. The perfect piece. I didn't need anyone else, and I knew it. Ryan was my air, my water, my food, and my life. He gave me everything I needed in abundance.

"I've gotta run to class, but I'll catch you later, ok Jen?" I tried to politely pry myself away from her, and then gave her a charming smile. "Later..."

"Bye Randy....love you..." She said. And then she backed away for a bit before giggling bashfully and turning around to walk forward. Had I done it again? Had I inadvertently played with someone else's emotions the way I had with Tyler's and Ariel's? If so, I was going to be sure that it was going to be something I was going to stop early. No more pain. No more mix-ups. No more heartbreak. How had I gotten so dam lovable all of the sudden anyway? It's never happened before.

Ryan looked at me with a cocky grin on his face, mocking my situation twice as bad as I mocked his earlier, and he smiled wickedly while walking away. He was laughing quietly to himself. And the funny thing is, he was still damn cute doing it. Grrr....I've gotta stop being in love long enough to be mad once in a while. I really should.

But I got my chance to get back at him later. As I came to our usual table at lunch, hoping to see that strawberry blond angel smiling happily to greet me with his undeniable sex appeal...I noticed another person sitting next to him. Very closely next to him, I might add. I hesitated for a moment, while I looked at Hailey, hugging Ryan's neck lovingly as I approached the table. They were just talking, and Ryan looked as if he was trying to keep a little distance from here, but she continued to hang off of him like a drunken barfly. I decided to move forward again and sat down at the table. "Um.....hey." I said.

"Randy! Good to see you bro! How was class? Tell me!" He said, trying to get me to talk and take his mind off of his 'problem'.

"Fine I suppose."

"No no...go ahead dude. Tell me ALL about it. Really." He said. He directed his beautiful hazel eyes to Hailey and was trying to hint at my daring rescue of my darling boyfriend. But I refused. I laugh at his attempt to recruit my services to help him with one of his many 'groupies'. Hehehehe.

"Hey Randy." She said, finally recognizing my presence. Then she kissed Ryan on the cheek.

"Howdy Hailey. I didn't know you had lunch this period."

"I don't. But I figured that I could miss one class if it meant being with my Ryan." And with that said, she kissed him again. Ryan had this look on his face that was downright hilarious. The same look I give my Aunt Helen when she pinches my cheeks and kisses me on the forehead, her moustache tickling my sensitive skin. Yuck!

"Cool. Very cool." And with that, I took a bite out of my sandwich and watched Ryan twitch and flinch as Hailey assaulted him with love and hugs.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, she said, "Ryan, can we talk for a minute? Please."

"Yeah, fine...whatever." He said.

"No....silly. I mean alone. Just you and me. Can we go for a walk in the courtyard or something. It'll be fun."

"Hailey....I haven't eaten yet. Besides, me and Randy have stuff to talk about." Ryan tried his best, but she insisted. That's what he gets for making out with Ms. Prissy Pants.

Finally, after trying every excuse he could think of to stay, he had to give in. Either that, or just hit her in the stomach and run! So he conceded to go, and he flashed me a dirty look for not helping. But hey, I was nice enough to wave goodbye when he got up. Hehehehe!

I sat there eating for a few minutes, figuring that I might as well hit the library since I didn't want to be eating alone. That's when Tyler showed up and sat across from me. He didn't say anything at first, but when I said hello, he glared at me. "Listen, I'm just here because I want to be a man about all of this. Don't think I forgot what you and Ryan did. you guys really suck."

"What?"

"You KNOW what? Just drop it! I'm only here because I was going to show you that I'm not some little whiny baby who lets these things get to him. Got it?"

"Okay, okay. Geez. I'm sorry." I said. And we ate in silence. But it wasn't long before I looked up at Tyler and noticed something out of the ordinary about him.

"Tyler?"

"What?"

"Um...is that...is that a new shirt?" I asked.

He looked down and then began to turn the cutest shade of pink in his face. "No...no...actually...it's an old shirt."

I looked closer. "No...I've been to your house a lot, and I've never seen that shirt before."

"It's because I only wear it on weekends. That's all."

"You didn't wear it to the arcade." I said.

"SO? I wear it on Saturdays! Ok?"

"You didn't wear it when I was cleaning out the garage..."

Tyler got flustered. "LOOK! It's NOT a new shirt, ok? It's...it's OLD!"

"Alright. No need to get all aggravated about it." I said. But when I gave it some thought, I knew exactly what was going on here, and decided to play with him a little more. After all, our little blond hunk has never really been in this position before. "Tyler?"

"WHAT?"

"Just wondering...you're shoes look awfully clean....did you wipe them down or something?"

"NO!" He said. But I caught a whiff of his breath, and I knew I was right.

"AH HA! Breath mints! I KNEW it!!!" I shouted. But he kicked me under the table to shut me up.

"I swear to God Randy...if you think I'm doing this because of..."

"Hey guys..." The voice came from over Tyler's shoulder, and I tried to contain a smile as Ariel's angelic face appeared next to our table. Cha-ching!

"Well hello Ariel! I was just wondering if you'd show up today." Then I smiled at Tyler. "We BOTH were." And I giggled to myself. Seeing Tyler like this was such a treat for me. To think that he actually felt that he had to do ANYTHING to impress somebody, as outrageously gorgeous as he was, is just amazingly backwards in most people's minds.

"I'm sorry I'm late, but...I....I kinda had a little accident in the chemistry lab last period." Ariel said, as he sat down next to me at the table.

"Really?" I looked over at Tyler, who had suddenly locked his shy eyes to the table, afraid to look up, afraid to even speak.

"Yeah....but they contained the fire pretty quickly...and they said they won't charge me for the damage." Ariel was too damn cute sometimes. He looked over at Tyler a few times out of the corner of his eyes, and finally got the nerve to say, "H-h-hey....Tyler....right?"

"....Yeah. Hi." He replied. I was taking some enjoyment out of this whole thing, but something told me that Tyler was really agonizing over this.

There was a moment of silence, and I decided that I should help Tyler out a little bit. It was obviously hard for him to talk to Ariel, so maybe if he can talk to me instead, things will just kind of gel together. "So Tyler...how did your Spanish test go?"

"Fine....I guess. Better than the last couple of them. Conjugation is kind of hard to grasp."

"You know..Ariel took a Spanish class last year. Didn't you tell me that you got a B+ in that class dude?" I asked.

"Um...yeah....well...no...just a 'B' actually." Ariel looked back down at the table, and so did Tyler. Okaaaaay...that's the clue folks! So now Tyler says, 'why don't you tutor me?' Right? I mean, that's how he got to ME! But no one said anything. They just sat there. Geez! Do I have to do everything?

"Maybe, you could help him out with his work Ariel?"

"Maybe NOT Randy!" Tyler said, flashing me an evil look. Ok...too much, too fast. I'll back off....for now.

"Just a thought, that's all." I said. The whole table got quiet, and suddenly I looked over at Ariel, who seemed, if I'm not mistaken, to be catching a secret glance at Tyler while he had his eyes cast downward. The second he saw me look his way, Ariel jerked a bit and pretended as if it hadn't happened. But I know he was looking. Maybe he WAS interested, if only a little bit.

Ariel further reinforced my suspicions when he tried nervously to come up with something else to say. "So....um....yeah..."

"Yeah what?" I asked.

"....I dunno." Ariel shied away from my eye contact, and then smiled bashfully at being so 'eloquent'. He snickered a bit, and it caused me to do the same. Tyler raised his head to see what we were laughing at, and actually broke out in a wide grin himself. It was this weird 'shared moment' that kinda surprised me. This is better. MUCH better. Ok, so new strategy. It seems like things go easier when I don't push it. So I'll force them to get together, but then I've gotta just completely not interfere and let nature run it's course. Right? I mean Tyler's cute, Ariel's cute, they both like boys, they get along....all that's left is something in common and a few shy giggles. Bingo.

Ryan came back a few seconds later and sat down in a huff. "Back from your little walk sweetie-poo?" I teased.

"Not...one...word! I feel like I'm married!"

I don't think he even knew he was doing it, but Tyler was constantly indulging in this cute little nervous tick where he constantly runs his thumb across his lips. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...oh wow. I think he was really smitten! Extremely so. And Ariel had no clue at all. He just sat their spooning his rock hard ice cream out of a little container with a wooden stick thingy. Tyler, on the other hand, was trying hard not to stare. But watching him, I could see his eyes glide back and forth secretly, stopping quickly to silently drink in a few more of Ariel's gentle features. And every time Ariel spoke, Ty's ears perked up, and he began to stare again. Not so much at Ariel's face, but focusing on one beautiful detail after another, separately. First, his big brown eyes. Then his soft lips. Then his cute little nose. Then his skin, then his silky brown hair, then his smooth long neck. I suddenly wondered if Tyler was having one of those 'Please don't ask me to go to the blackboard' moments while he was sitting there. Then it happened. Ariel stared back, ever so quickly, and their eyes met from across the table. Ariel swiftly jerked his eyes away, embarrassed at being caught, and Tyler blushed, their smiles fading instantly.

Ryan and I continued to chat away happily, but even though Ryan was too occupied with his thoughts to really take notice, I was watching the whole thing. They were quiet, both trying to rationalize what they were doing and why. I could feel their nervousness, almost making me quiver with as much excitement as they were with fear. That's when the bell rang. Tyler sprang up out of his seat like he was getting ready to run out of there top speed.

"See you guys later! Gotta go. Bye Randy, Ryan....Ariel.."

"...Bye..." Ariel whispered. No doubt wondering if anyone had even heard him. Tyler yanked his tray away, causing his soda to fall over onto the floor. "I'll get it." Ariel said.

But Tyler was already on his way down to pick it up. "N-no! I've got it dude!" They both went down and bumped heads, probably a little harder than the usual 'laughable' force of impact. It cause Ryan and I to cringe a little, seeing it, and they both rubbed the pain out of their skulls. Now THERE'S a headache in the making. They attempted to grin a little, but I assume that the misery from their little collision wouldn't allow them to without causing them more agony.

"I'm sorry. Really." Ariel said, quick to apologize.

"No way man, totally my fault. Um...later." Then Tyler walked away from the table. Then came back a few seconds later to grab the backpack that he had left behind, smiled weakly, and left again. Well...at least they had some kind of physical contact today.

The rest of the school day went by pretty fast. Or maybe I just wasn't paying attention. Who knows? I figured I'd save the homework for later and just walked on over to Ryan's house after grabbing a bite to eat. Ryan came down to the front door with no shirt on and a pair of jeans. I wasn't necessarily expecting this little pleasant surprise. It took me a second to even speak, his soft milky skin, completely frictionless and clear, was staring me right in the face. His tiny pink nipples were just small dots on his flawless chest, his pecs unformed and yet with definite shape. His underdeveloped teenaged six pack covered by the thinnest layer of baby fat and the cutest little navel that I've ever seen. His belt was open and his jeans were hanging off of his hips in the most seductive way. Showing the beginning outward curves that led below his waist. My mouth watered for his taste and I smiled uncontrollably at the image. But the best part of all wasn't his body at all. It was the adorable smile that brought such a shine to his face. Such sparkle to his eyes. The same hazel eyes of splendor that I had dreamily stared into many many times before. His soft strawberry blond locks that always let a few sensuous strands hang down into his face. Some days, I swear I can see all of life's questions answered in his eyes. The solution to every problem, the healing salve for every injury, the highest mountain top, where I could see all of the world's beauty at once. No one ever made me feel so in tune with life. God I loved him.

"You gonna just stand there, or are you going to come in ya dope?" He said.

"You're going to stand there half naked and ask me THAT?" And with that, he dragged me inside and wrapped his loving arms around me, kissing me tenderly on the lips. I could taste his smile, even with my eyes closed. My hands felt so free, roaming over the smooth warm flesh of my lover's back. I caressed his shoulder blades as his tongue slid into my mouth and then back out again. He broke the kiss, and it seemed so fast. I wanted my kisses with him to last forever, but they always seemed to end just a moment too soon. He gently let his fingers slide down my arm to grasp my hand lightly and lead me upstairs. His very touch sending me soaring high above the clouds.

He took me into his bedroom, and kissed me on the cheek before closing the door. "Dude, what do ya say we hit the mall for a few new CDs, huh?"

"I can't Ryan. I'm broke until next week unfortunately. The arcade kinda took a lot more out of me than I thought." I replied. But Ryan reached into his pocket and pulled out three crisp ten dollar bills.

"It's on me. Thirty bucks, that's one cd for you, and one for me. Anything we want." He grinned.

"Where'd this sudden cash flow come from?"

"My dad. He gave me 30 dollars to take Hailey to the movies tonight. But to hell with her, I'd rather you and I get some enjoyment out of it instead." I heard his words, and I knew that I should have probably been flattered, but I wasn't. In fact, I was a little hurt by the idea, and despite my fake smile, Ryan knew something was wrong. "What is it?"

"Nothing. Really. So what are you gonna buy with it?"

"Well, the new Red Hot Chilli Peppers cd sounds kind of cool. So I thought maybe that one. But you've gotta get something else so you can dub it for me on cassette." He said. ButI was still a bit hurt. Still feeling that immense pressure on my chest that kept me from breathing regularly. It hurt, a lot. It was like something was stealing the life right out of my very heart. "Randy...?"

"Yeah?"

"Please...don't hold back from me. Tell me what's wrong."

"Well...you know..."

"No....I don't. Tell me."

"Well, your dad never gave you 30 dollars for US to have fun." I said, pouty lips and all. "What makes HER so different?"

Ryan sighed and sat down next to me. "First of all, I don't NEED to go to any movie or anywhere else with you to have fun. If I could just have you lay here next to me in complete silence, then that would be enough. Any time spent with you at all is a blessing, a privilege, and a pleasure." He said. "Second, if you're worried about the Hailey thing...DON'T be. Ok?"

"Sure."

"Hey....look at me..." He said, his gentle fingers lifting my eyes to meet his. "...I love you. I have always loved you, from day one. Nothing is going to change that. Not Hailey, not my dad, nobody. Randy if I could only make you believe that, I'd be the happiest boy on Earth." My eyes began to tear up, just a little, but this wasn't the right time for a sissy little crying fit. "Okay?" He said. He was determined to make me believe. He was insistent on letting me know how he felt. And it was overwhelming.

"Okay. I love you." I sobbed, and hugged him lovingly around the neck. Then, when our embrace loosened up a bit, I looked into his eyes, and leaned forward for a mind blowing kiss. Our lips connected in such a beautiful harmony. It was unnatural to love someone so much, and feel that love coming back at you through our physical contact. We kissed and sucked at each other for a while before he began to lean me back onto the bed. I moaned softly as he placed his weight on top of me. He began to lift my shirt as we kissed, and as soon as it was up over my head, he began to kiss and lick my chest tenderly. Feeling his skin against mine was always such an incredible feeling. I had goose bumps from head to toe, and his tongue's textured surface tickled my nipples with every lick. Then he began to gently nibble on them and I pushed my pelvis upwards into the softness of his stomach. Hoping to relieve some of this unbearable pressure in my loins. I humped up into him repeatedly as his lips journeyed lower down my chest. He licked inside of my belly button and then forced his tongue under the waistline of my pants, and soon under the elastic of my boxers. I was sooooo hot. My six inch cock was being forced upwards by my pants, and Ryan's tongue was able to reach just low enough inside the elastic to lick the very tip of it. He wrapped his arms under me and crushed his face against me as he tried desperately to taste more of the sweet juices leaking from the head of it. I raised my hips upward, and his tongue retreated, moving downward still. With my pants still on, he rubbed his face back and forth over my crotch area and began to undo the top of my pants. His open mouth was chewing and kneading the tender sack underneath the fabric of my pants, and I shivered with passion as he began to pull them down to my ankles. Licking his way down my legs as the pants slid off my feet. He licked up my thighs, until his tongue found it's way under my boxers and forced my stiffening erection to poke out through the slit up front. He too slid those off of me, and looked me in the eye as his cushioned lips constricted themselves and latched on to my swollen member. I almost exploded right then and there, but I had to hold back as much as I could. He slid down further, until his nose was buried in my silken pubic hair, and I felt his tongue working its magic around my spasming shaft. Ohhhhh...Damn he was good!

I groaned out loud as he dragged his lips up my shaft again as he let it slip out of his mouth. Then he engulfed it once again. I put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself, but my legs began to twitch n their own. He bobbed up and down on me steadily as I brushed the hair out of his eyes. I wanted to see his face, I HAD to see his face. He was so beautiful, eyes closed, enjoying the taste of my most private places as he swooned in lust filled abandon. His hand went to my stiff member and he began to suck my soft nuggets into his mouth. I felt this weightless sensation taking over my whole body, and I could feel this soft and gentle pain in the pit of my stomach. It was a pleasant pain though, something that hurt just enough to tickle me. He stroked me while gnawing away at my testicles and I couldn't help but squirm, occasionally lifting my hips from the bed. I was moaning out loud, but trying to hold it in for fear of making too much noise. But when I neared orgasm, I didn't care anymore. I moaned louder and louder and eventually just gave into my wild passions. And Ryan loved it.

I gyrated my hips helplessly as Ryan's tongue went wild on my sensitive scrotum and his hands massaged the inside of my thighs. I looked down at him, forcing my eyes to stay open despite the unbelievable amount of love surging through me at that moment, and I saw Ryan's face. His mouth was working me over, and his eyes were closed in sexual ecstasy. Seeing him like that, enjoying me to the fullest, forced the semen to rush to the surface. I arched my back almost to the point where it hurt, and felt myself pulse and push splash after splash of my seed against Ryan's tonsils. I couldn't stop moving, but Ryan followed my every movement so as not to miss a drop of my love. He grasped my thighs hard and deep throated me, swallowing every bit of juice that I had to give him. I tried to come down from my orgasmic high, but knowing that the boy I loved most in the world was right here with me, nursing from my spent organ like a baby calf, and purring contentedly for having satisfied me...was enough to keep me on a high all day long.

"Oh God that was awesome. I love you so much...Jesus." I whispered breathlessly. Ryan climbed back up my chest, licking a long cool trail back up to my lips, where we engaged in another long kiss. I gripped onto his ass cheeks hard as he ground his hips into me wildly. I was trying to keep my lips attached to his, but he was moving so frantically that it was hard to stay locked to them. His breath was so sweet as he gasped erotically on top of me. I wrapped my legs around his slim waist tightly, trying to bring him in closely to me. That only made him grind harder. I wanted him...soooo bad. I wanted him in my mouth, inside me, I wanted to make love to him forever and ever. I never wanted it to stop. He collapsed on top of me, and I hugged him desperately around his neck, pulling him into me. Trying to get as much body contact as I could from him as he pumped away. I ran my hands underneath his jeans and that only turned him on more. He began to whimper in this high pitched childish pitch that drove me wild. I mimicked his moans with some of my own, and soon the whole bed was shaking from our passionate coupling. Finally, when he couldn't take anymore, I felt his lithe body tense up around mine, and I hugged him tight as his climax came bursting out of him. He must have soaked himself, and he gently bit down on my ear lobe with every blast. He kept pushing himself into me, and I kept clinging onto him until my arms and legs hurt. My arms were so tightly snaked around him, my fingers digging into his back, that he couldn't even get away long enough to spasm from such an intense orgasm. We both wrestled about for a few minutes, and then he kissed me deeply. Our shared embrace becoming more loving, more incredible than I could bear. We rolled back and forth on the bed as we made out, and after about a half hour of holding each other tight, we laid back breathlessly on the bed. Side by side, staring at the ceiling, waiting for our heartbeats to resume their rhythmic beating once again.

"You make me feel so good Randy. I love you." He said.

I rolled over and threw a leg across him, allowing my sweet kisses to fall on his neck and face. We were dizzy from the moment, but suddenly we heard keys in the door downstairs. His dad! Shit....so soon? I knew the drill, get dressed, get quiet, pretend we're doing homework. That's how it always is.

"You've got to get out of here! C'mon, use the window!" He said.

"WHAT??? The window? What's that about?"

"Don't do this now Randy...please? C'mon, humor me here. Just...just go. I'll call you later, k? I promise." Ryan was slipping his shirt back on, and it seemed a shame to cover that glorious chest of his again. He was really worried about something all of the sudden. "Go!" He said in a shouted whisper.

"....Ok....fine." I put on my clothes and climbed out of his bedroom window and onto the ground below. But he called me back before I could leave.

"I'm sorry. I'm so soooo sorry! Look, love you, k? I love you more than life itself, don't forget that." And he reached for me. I couldn't help but go back for one more kiss, and it was so sweet. Quick, but super sweet. I walked back home, but it wasn't long before some weird thoughts began running through my mind. Nothing to worry about though. I'm sure that every action has a reason behind it, so I'm not too worried. The true question is....

...Should I be?