Life Changes - 3. Chapter 3

“Well that sure didn’t go as I had hoped.” Neil walked into the nursery carrying Maryann and I followed behind. The funeral and meal afterwards had been exhausting and we were glad to be home.

I watched Neil as he curled up in the rocking chair and held the baby gently, looking very upset.

“Well who expected to see both grandmother’s trying to feed her non-stop.” I sat on the rug and watched as Neil rocked slowly in the chair. His full attention seemed to be on the baby.

“Yeah, well I hope she doesn’t end up sick or I am going to have it out with both of those women.” His anger seemed to pass as Maryann cooed and her eyes began to close. “Atta girl. Just rest now.”

I was glad the funerals were over. It had been so hard to watch Neil stand there and put flowers on both of their caskets. He ended up supporting both sets of parents by walking them up to the caskets and standing by them. There were the reporters who seemed to want to ask a thousand questions of everyone, making it feel more like a circus then a funeral at times. Mom and Dad ran interference and finally we were able to slip away for the meal afterwards. Maryann was passed back and forth like a football, and it had been obvious, at least to me, that Neil had barely managed to keep his temper in check. Luckily mom was able to keep him somewhat calm as she slipped into critical mode again. I had never been so happy to see her handle things.

“Ladies, Maryann can’t keep eating. She’ll be sick if she is overfed. Just let Neil take over.” Mom had been trying to keep things from getting out of control. She had been ready with tissues, hugs, and support for everyone. I was very proud of my mother.

“But she didn’t cry for a change when I held her.” Lisa Weaton reached out tried to take the baby back from Jeanette Steven.

Jeanette cuddled the baby close to her amble chest, while she fed Maryann. She rocked her granddaughter and gently sang a lullaby.

Lisa didn’t give up; when Jeanette lifted the baby to her shoulder to burp her, Lisa tried again to take Maryann from her.

The grandfathers just sat back watching. Neil finally inserted himself between the two women and lifted the baby into his own arms. Jeanette smiled kindly at Neil, but Lisa didn’t look happy at all. The meal was one of the most uncomfortable things I had ever sat through in my life. I could easily understand why Neil had been so happy to get home and nearly raced to get to the nursery.

I watched as Neil changed Maryann and laid her down for a nap. He collapsed back into the rocking chair and watched me for a moment.

“Alright, I’m all yours.”

“Huh?” I stared blankly up at Neil.

“Face it kiddo, you’re no good at keeping things to yourself. I’ve seen you approach and walk away from me a dozen times in the last few days. Out with it. What is it you wanna talk about?”

I sat there sort of stunned. With everything going on I hadn’t thought I had been that obvious.

“It’s nothing Neil. You have enough going on.”

“Bullshit. I always have time for you. So spill it!”

Now that the time was here I wasn’t sure I could actually tell him. I mean I wasn’t sure how to do this. I watched Neil as he sat there calm and relaxed , just waiting for me to speak.

“Umm.”

Neil sighed and then leaned forward.

“Would you stop worrying about what it is you want to tell me. You act like it is the end of the world.” Neil shot a look at Maryann before he spoke again. “Trust me, we both know it isn’t going to end the world. You know you can tell me anything, I’ll be there for you.”

“I’m gay.” It was barely a whisper and I couldn’t look at Neil so I stared at the floor.”

“And?”

I looked up and he sat there looking at me.

“I said I was gay.”

“I heard you.” Neil didn’t look surprised or upset.

“Um, you aren’t upset?”

“Ralph, you’re my brother. I’ve loved you since you were born. Did you think that being gay would change anything between us?”

I sat there and began to cry and a moment later I felt Neil sit down behind me. His arms wrapped around me and hugged me tight.

“Okay, so I know that was hard for you. Let it out, bro. Trust me, that is just who you are. It’s no different than me being dogged as the brown haired nerd my whole life.” He ruffled my hair and kept holding me while I cried. “So, do you have a boyfriend yet?”

I turned to look at him and then nodded. He handed me a tissue.

“Yeah.” I wiped my face feeling sort of foolish for doubting Neil. “I guess I do.”

“You guess? Have you done anything?”

I sat there and felt my cheeks burning as I blushed.

Neil sat there with a goofy grin on his face. Then he wagged his eyebrows and laughed.

“Nooo! Hell, I ain’t ready for that yet. The most me and Harry have done is kiss.”

“Harry? That tall kid who was here the other night?”

I blushed again. I hadn’t meant to tell him everything all at once.

“Umm … yeah. That’s my Harry.”

“Well, I still have yet to approve him, you know?”

I knew Neil was poking fun at me. I felt so much better now that I’d finally shared my secret with someone. I knew Neil would be there for me.

“Why should you get to approve of him? I never got to approve any of your dates.”

“Hey, who is supposed to be taking care of who here?” He smiled and slowly stood up. He offered me his hand and helped pull me to my feet.

“Do you think I should tell mom and dad?”

“Dad will take it easy, remember Uncle Chris has Uncle Stevie. It’s mom that is going to have a heart attack.”

I smiled as I remembered how rigid mom got when my Uncles Chris and Steve visited from New York. They were getting married next year and mom still wasn’t sure how she felt about it all. I think it stemmed from the fact she found both men attractive and still couldn’t figure out why they would choose each other over a woman.

“Do you remember when your mom told Uncle Chris that she could find him a nice woman?”

I started to laugh.

“How could I forget, he told her he could find her a nice woman too.”

We were both laughing when Mom walked in.

“I don’t know what you two find so funny, but keep it down. You’ll wake up Maryann.”

We both stifled it and followed her out of the room, but the second we looked at each other we both burst out laughing again.

“I don’t know why I bother. You two are impossible!” Mom shook her head and walked down the hall.