To Sammy With Love - 7. Chapter 7

The idea for a surprise birthday came from a conversation at school between Maria and Brenda. Maria was lamenting on what to give Karl for his birthday, when Brenda suggested a surprise party. At the time, it was a great idea. For obvious reasons, it was tentatively planned to hold the party at Brenda’s house. Now that his birthday was only two weeks away, it was time to get down to detailed planning.

There is a little coffee house down on the harbor at Mornington, which has views over Port Phillip Bay and the boat anchorage. On the weekend, it is frequented by ‘yachties’ and local fisher folk. On a good day, you can sit outside and enjoy all the sights, sounds and smells of the sea.

On a fine, clear afternoon, Brenda, Maria and her mum sat down outside at a secluded table. Acting as the hostess, Maria left the two women and went to the counter to place their orders. Whilst Maria was away, Brenda said a little hurriedly -

“Has Karl told his folks about his medical problem?”

Gwen answered with “Yes - and it wasn’t very pleasant. I’ll let Maria fill you in on the details. But it was very traumatic for Karl, and Maria. You know Brenda, I’m going to sound a little callous, but I’m only thinking of my daughter now. That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel for Karl, but well, a mothers first duty is to her own children. Being a mother, yourself, I’m sure you understand what I’m saying.”

“I know what you’re saying and I also know where you’re going with this. There’s no way that Maria will ever divorce Karl. She loves him too much, Gwen. I am really very, very, sorry for her - and indeed for both of them. It must be hell.”

“Yes, well, although Maria hasn’t confided in me yet, I know how she must be feeling. By that, I mean as a little girl she always had a wish to have children. It’s the same for most women - ,”

At this point Maria returned to the table and the conversation lapsed.

“Isn’t this a lovely spot,” commented Gwen. “I do love to look at all those gaily painted beach huts along the shore there. And the tinkling sound of yacht halyards, I find very relaxing.”

“Well, don’t get too relaxed mum, we’re here to plan Karl’s surprise birthday party and it’s only just over two weeks away. So let me start proceedings.”

“Firstly Brenda, I hope it’s still Ok to use your place for the affair?”

“Oh yes - No problem. Peter and I have been talking about the outside settings. Also Pete has told Rick and Karl’s other mates about it. They’re all enthusiastic. Peter will also arrange for the grog to be delivered, including ice. He’ll contact you to see how much soft drink he should order.”

“Great”, said Maria. And the scheming threesome fell silent as their order was delivered.

Gwen was quiet as she ogled two very large scones with jam and piles of cream. Maria had settled for a ’Wicked’ Chocolate Mud Muffin - which also came with cream, but Brenda was just having toasted Banana bread. The silence continued interspersed with “yummy,” “Mmmmmmm” and “oh, this is divine.”

Back to business and Gwen, still munching on the last of her scones, said “What about the guest list? Who’s putting that together?”

“Well, I guess that was up to me,” Answered Maria. “I’ve got a preliminary list of people I’ve asked and been confirmed.” Then began to read out the list which comprised 40 people. “Is that OK,

Brenda - can you handle 40 people?”

“Sure,” confirmed Brenda. “We have ample room outside and even if it rains we’ve got a large covered patio that adjoins the family room.”

Becoming a little serious Maria turned to her mother and said firmly “Mum, as you can see I’ve not invited Nat. He can’t control himself when he’s drunk. Karl’s still furious about Dads birthday. I don’t want to risk another outburst at Peters place - I hope you understand.”

All Gwen said was “Sure, that’s OK. I understand. But I see you’ve invited Samuel. I didn’t know he’s a friend of Karl’s.”

“Well, Karl and Sammy got on real well when he was last here, so I took the chance and invited him. Also, I figured we owe him after last time. And Karl said he actually liked Sammy - he enjoyed his company.” Suddenly Brenda spoke up saying with a small laugh “That reminds me, I found a hand note in Peter’s pocket the other day with a mobile number for someone called “Sam”. I hope it's short for Samuel not Samantha.”

In something like mild shock, both Maria and Gwen silently digested this piece of unsettling news. Of course, Brenda was not aware of the bombshell she had just dropped. Seeing that Gwen was about to speak before using her brain, Maria sent a very firm Meta-message of ‘NO!’ Gwen immediately caught on and sat back, but still feeling a little uneasy.

Confused herself Maria asked “What was the note written on? I mean was it on a business card?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Brenda answered. “Matter of fact it looked like a piece of coaster. I didn’t look on the back. I will when I go home.” Trying to make light of the trend in the conversation Gwen said,

“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing. I’m always fishing out bits and pieces from Jim’s pockets all the time. You’re not concerned are you - I mean you and Peter are a very stable couple.”

“No - Everything’s great. But Peter has been acting a little quiet recently. As if something’s always on his mind. The other night I found him tightly hugging our girls. Nothing wrong with that - except, it made me feel a bit uneasy for no reason.”

In an effort to stop this trend in conversation, Maria interposed with “All right girls - let’s get back to Karl’s party, if you don’t mind. We still haven’t decided on the food.”

As soon as Maria got into Gwen’s car, Gwen said, “Maria - What do you make of that. I didn’t know that Sammy and Peter knew each other. Where did they meet?” Does Brenda know that Sammy’s gay?” “No she doesn’t. The only place they could have met was at the football. Karl took Sammy along to meet Peter and Rick. Why Sammy gave Peter his phone number is a mystery. I could understand if Peter gave Sammy his card - probably for a free massage. You know, Mates Rates. Anyway, I know that Karl didn’t tell the other boys about Sam, for obvious reasons. Also for obvious reasons, I’m not going to tell Brenda about Sammy. It would only stress her out.”

“Yes,” admitted Gwen. “But I think you should talk to Karl. Maybe he can throw more light on the mystery.”

“I will, but first I’ll talk to Sammy. He’s the only one that can provide an answer. In fact, I’ll call him as soon as I get back home.”

“Well, I’ll be interested to hear what he says. But look, don’t dwell too much on this - you have some severe problems of your own to contend with.”

“Oh, for god’s sake mother - lighten up.”

True to her word, Maria called Sammy on his mobile as soon as Gwen had dropped her off. Sammy answered on the third ring.

“Sam here.”

“Hi Sammy - Its Maria. Can you spare a few moments or have I caught you at a bad time?”

“For you dear Cuz, I’ll make time. Who wouldn’t want to talk to the most beautiful girl in Melbourne?”

“Oh, piss off,” She laughed. “It’s just that I’m curious - a woman’s privilege. Just now, Gwen, Brenda and I were having coffee to finalize arrangements for Karl’s party. Brenda mentioned that she had found a note in Peters pocket with your mobile number on it. For some reason, it seemed strange. I thought you only met Peter at the footy that Saturday. Had you met Peter before?”

Oh shit thought Sammy. I gave that note to Peter when we met at the steam bath. He must have left it in his pocket. And now the wife’s found it. Shit, Shit, Shit. And now I have to lie to Maria. Shit. Best to say as little as possible. And of course, warn Peter as soon as possible.

Concerned at the momentary silence, Maria said, “Sammy, Sammy, are you still there?”

“Yeah,” Sammy responded slowly. “I’m just trying to remember. I think it was at the footy. Peter asked me for my phone number, I think.” “Oh Ok,” said Maria. “So you gave it to him at the footy. I know it’s not my business, but has he called you since?”

Now that’s a relief. She hasn’t asked had I seen Peter since, only had he called. I don’t have to lie about that.

“No, he hasn’t. But why the interest. It’s not a big deal. Is it?”

“Yeah. No it really isn’t. Your right. Just a nosy female wanting to know everything, I guess. Now, are you still Ok for the party? I don’t think Karl has any inkling. I’m sure it’s going to be a big surprise.”

“Yep, I’m Ok and looking forward to it. I think I’ll give him a gift voucher to Bunning’s. Let him choose his own present.”

“That sounds great. Well, bye now - see you soon”. And Maria rang off. But she had a lingering feeling that Sammy was not telling the truth. He sounded evasive.

And why the long pause before he answered my question?

It wasn’t until Karl sat down to dinner, that Maria had time to ask Karl about Sammy’s note. She explained how Brenda had found the note in Peters pocket and how Sammy told her Peter asked for Sammy’s phone number at the footy.

“I don’t remember Pete asking Sammy for that,” Karl said thoughtfully. “It certainly wasn’t while I was around. And, as you know Sammy came home with me. Very curious.”

“Then why don’t you ask Peter next time you talk to him?”

“Oh, come on Maria - Guys just don’t ask those sorts of questions of each other. Look, its Peter’s business, leave it be. I’m sure there’s a simple explanation.” But Karl remained very thoughtful the rest of the night.

Peter slowly replaced the phone after his return call to Sammy. It had been a traumatic day for him. The morning had brought a call from his Accountant to say that the Income Tax Office was going to conduct a tax audit. As the firm’s Public Officer, Pete was responsible for giving the taxmen all they require.

Then, around lunch time his mother had called to tell him that his father was ‘gravely’ ill. She sounded like an emotional train wreck. But this call from Sam was very concerning.

Well, this double life couldn’t last forever. I know that. I’ve been telling myself that it has to end. All I know is that I can’t go on living a lie. I am gay and I have to be open about it. What I should do is say to Brenda, “Look Hon, the reason I’ve got that phone number is because I’m gay and have been having an affair with a man. We can’t go on as husband and wife. We’ll get a divorce, but I’ll take real good financial care of you and the girls - So you needn’t worry out money.”

Hell, I couldn’t say that. Not in a million years could I be so cruel. Coming unexpectedly like that would destroy Brenda and the girls. In fact, it would destroy anybody. How would any woman feel if her husband just up and told her that the man she married and had babies with, is an impostor?

Oh God, there has to be a better way. At least I can thank Sammy for the ‘heads up’. I’ll only respond to Brenda if she brings it up. From what Maria told Sam, Brenda does not have any inkling that something’s amiss.

Oh you bloody coward Peter. It’s just too hard and you're taking the easy way out. But for how long? It surprised me when Sammy said Maria had invited him to Karl’s surprise party. It seems that Karl and Sammy had ‘bonded’, so to speak, overtheir own personal situations. Now at the party, which is just a little over one week away, Sammy and Brenda will come face to face. And if someone tells her that Sammy’s gay - Oh shit. I don’t want to think about it.

Rick arrived at the pub early on Friday evening and found an empty stool next the bar. Ron, the barman came over and in response to his questioning look, Rick responded -

“Yeah, I’ll have the usual. I’m really bloody thirsty. I reckon I could swallow Port Philip Bay.”

“Well, you’ll have to settle for a beer. Say, Rick, do you know that there’s a problem between Karl and Nat? Last night Nat came in and before he could join the gang, Karl just upped and moved away. I asked Nat about it because we were all a little surprised. Karl’s usually very easy going. Nat said they had words at Nat's father’s birthday about his cousin. Seems he’s gay. You know, the little guy that Karl brought in when you all went to the footy.”

“Who - Sammy? Sammy’s gay? I don’t believe it. Who said that? No, it can’t be. I invited him to come wenching with me. Anyway, he doesn’t look or sound gay.”

“Well, that’s what Nat said. Ask him yourself if he comes in.”

“I bloody will - or better still, here's Karl. I’ll ask him. Hi Karl, How’s yer day been?”

After Karl had settled in and was gulping his beer, Rick caught him by the arm and led him aside.

“Hey man, there’s a rumor going round that your cousin Sam’s a poofter. Is it true?”

“Bloody hell, you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to work out where that came from. Nat should keep his foul-mouth shut. Christ, I’d love to iron him out flat. Maria’s cousin and all.”

“So it’s true. Sammy is gay? And I was being real nice to him. Even invited him to go pussy hunting with me. Geeze, I feel such a bloody fool.”

“Well, it’s no big deal. Don’t know what you’re getting all frothy about. So he’s gay. You liked the guy before you knew. Now you know - nothing’s changed.”

“Well, it has for me. I don’t know too much about gay people. I mean, how do two guys have sex together? I can’t even think about it -makes me want to spew. Anyway, it’s against gods rules, isn’t it? I mean doesn’t the bible call gay sex sinful?”

“Don’t listen to the biased ravings of small minds who want to judge other people by their own narrow standards. Anyway, why should you be concerned about gays having sex, when, if I remember your own words, you haven’t had any pussy over six months.”

“Hey, that’s below the belt and really unfair. No need to get personal, it’s not like you to be abusive.”

“Well, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to get on your case. It’s just that Sammy’s a nice guy and I hate to hear bad things being said about just because he’s gay. Nat lashed out at Sammy at my place and I certainly don’t want any repeat of his filthy attitude. Let’s rejoin the guys.”

But whilst he rejoined the group physically, his mind was wandering to other places.

The more I think about Brenda finding Sammy’s note in Peters’ pocket, the more it seems a little weird. I never heard Pete ask for Sammy’s phone number at any time at the footy. I mean, they’d just met for god’s sake. Why would Pete want his number? What the hell’s going on? And it’s really not so important that I should ask either of them for an explanation. It’s sort of an invasion of privacy. But if I think that - what is so private? I suppose it’s only because I know Sammy’s gay that it becomes curious. Or do I mean suspicious. Yeah, that’s really it. If Sammy was straight, none of us would give it a second thought. So why am I dwelling on this?

To tell the truth, I’m feeling a little uneasy.

“Hey Karl,” Said Rick breaking into his thoughts. “I’m shouting - same again?”

Maria stopped by her mother’s after school to take Gwen for coffee. She needed to go over the final plans for Karl’s party, this coming Saturday. When Maria rang, Gwen was preparing Nat's dirty clothes for the washing machine. She was not in a good mood.

“He’s turned into an absolute slob, Maria. I wish he’d find himself a nice girl and settle down soon. I’m tired of looking after him.” Maria thought it wise not to comment.

Now Gwen was browsing through the kiddies section of Target, looking for a present for one of a friend’s granddaughters. Maria drifted away, also browsing.

Gwen had almost decided on a little pink, fluffy dressing gown when she, by chance, looked around and spotted Maria, who was standing, a little bent over, holding a baby’s rattle. Gwen could that something was wrong. She replaced the gown she was appraising and went over to Maria. “My god child, what’s wrong?”

Looking up with tears rolling down her face she said in a broken small voice. “I’m never going to have my own. I’m never going to know what it feels like to be a mother. Oh mum, I do want my own babies. What am I going to do?”

Gwen felt totally inadequate. She could feel her daughter’s anguish but couldn’t do anything about it. Mothers are there to council and console their children. Now here was Maria with a gut-wrenching problem and Gwen had no answer for her.

“I think you should go and talk to a marriage counselor. Both of you. The anguish that you’re feeling now has to be shared by two people. I know Karl’s a very proud boy but he has to realize how traumatic this can become. You married for better or for worse. This is now a bad situation. I can recommend a good lady, and suggest you and Karl see her as soon as possible.”