Young, Gay and Scared - 17. Chapter 17

17.1

After acquiring a caravan on a permanent basis, Tony and Ryan settled down to a comfortable and hassle-free life together. Sometimes they met weeknights, but mostly they met on the weekends and holidays. With Tony’s guidance, Ryan did well in his year twelve and so looked forward to enrolling in the vet college of Sydney University. His work at the Vet School only intensified his desire to be an animal doctor. Then he realized he had a problem because he’d have to leave his job to enrol in the full-time Uni course. There weren’t any night courses offered so he discussed the problem with his superior. Already his impressive work ethic had come to the attention of management, so they promised to review his involvement with a view of him working part-time and attending formal classes.

It would be tough and demanding, but Ryan had no doubt he could do both. Excitedly he awaited the new year.

Tony and Paula eventually split as there wasn’t anything left of the marriage. As it turned out Paula met someone else and needed to move in with her new beau. This gladdened Tony, of course, he had the condominium to himself, opening the way for Ryan to move in. Ryan, at last, could settle into a life of normality; he had a good job, he would be successfully enrolled into the Vet school, he had a wonderful lover and a more than satisfactory sex life. Of course, he anticipated a fiery outburst from his mother about losing his board.

And then the letter came.

In Nineteen and fifty-one, at the onset of the Korean War, the Australian Government initiated compulsory National Service, an obligatory call-up of males turning 18 on or after November 1, 1950. The service lasted 176 days – six months - after which trainees were required to remain on Reserve of the Commonwealth Military Forces (CMF) for five years. Males, because the package did not apply to women, could nominate the service in which they wished to be trained. Those nominating the Navy, or the Air Force were considered only if they volunteered for service outside Australia.

Ryan, of course, registered as required when he turned eighteen, and then forgot about the matter. For some reason he’d nominated the Air Force as a preference, despite the obligation to serve overseas. By then the Korean war had stalemated and the possibility of serving overseas became a very remote likelihood.

Of course, there were exemptions, but these mainly applied to religious careers and activities. In the nineteen fifties, religion occupied a significant status in the Australia social order. The other exemption applied to those with physical or mental problems. Now, Ryan would have been exempted if he declared being a homosexual. This, of course, meant he would probably be sent to a mental institution because of his psychological defect. Understandably, this wasn’t an option.

The letter called him to serve in the Australian Air Force as a lowly ‘Aircraftsman’ beginning in July of nineteen and fifty-six. Then the real bombshell . . . he had to serve at the Laverton Air Force base, located just outside the southern capital city of Melbourne, over one thousand kilometres from home.

Stunned at the implication Ryan, had to re-think his life strategy. He didn’t have a choice about doing ‘Nasho’[1] and in some ways it could be fun. However, what to do about Tony, his job, and enrolling to become a Vet?”

He discussed the matter with Tony several days after the letter arrived. They were sitting in the lifeguard enclosure, because Tony had duty for the day.

“(Unconcerned) Well yer don’t have a choice boychik, whether you like it or not, come July this year yer headed to Victoria. Gawd I’ve heard some awful things about the weather down there; raining, cold and windy. They play Aussie Rules which is an offshoot of Gaelic football, and it’s almost like a religion. One thing you might check out is the Olympic Games which I believe open on November 22 and run through to December 8, 1956. If you could get to see the games it would be awesome. When do ya have to go?”

“The letter said we had to muster on Monday, July 15, at the Air Force Association House in Pitt Street and then by train to Melbourne, and then on to Laverton, on Port Philip Bay . . . by some means.”

“Well, that’s great. Hey, don’t get all sloppy, look on it as a challenge, a new adventure. Just think you’ll be away from yer mother for six months. Now that’s a pleasant thought.”

“But what about us? I can’tnot see you for six months. Besides I’ll keep imagining you’ll be fucking and sucking any male that takes yer fancy. I’ll go bonkers!”

“(Grouchy) Same for me. You’ll be billeted with eighteen-year-old randy, oversexed males, who aren’t fussy where or who they’s gets their rocks off. I’m in more danger than you, boyo. Anyway, it’s another test of our love. Look I’m sure yer gonna listen to young blokes whinging about leaving their girlfriends behind. It’s no different for you and I . . . I love you Ryan and thas that. We’ll survive.”

“Yeah, I’m glad you see it that way. I love you terribly Tony. I’m really gonna miss you sexy-man.”

“You know what yer real problem is don’t you?”

“Ummm, no. What’s me real problem?”

‘Yer mother. I bet she’ll ask for rent money while yer serving down south. You’ll have to be firm and tell her . . . sorry mum, no way!”

“Yeah, that’s right. Wouldn’t put it past her to threaten to bring in a boarder to make up for her lost rent. She’ll probably give me a choice; either you pay full rent, or she’ll get someone else to pay her.”

And he wasn’t far from the mark.

“ . . . even as paltry as your board is, we need the money to keep this house afloat. Now that your fathers finally got off his arse and got a full-time job, his wages don’t cover the household running costs. Remember, we also lost your grannies pension money when she died. I’ll have no choice Ryan, unless you can give me rent out of your wages, I’ll have to get someone in as a boarder. Of course when you finish your Nasho you’ll just come back home. It’s up to you.”

“What’s up to me? Coming home or paying board? I don’t earn enough whilst I’m doing Nasho, what we get just covers our personal costs. I can’t and won’t give you anything mother, so get used to it! Unbelievable! Here I’m going away for six months and all you can think about is how much moola [2] you’ll lose. Incredible! What kind of a mother . . . no, no, don’t answer that, because I know what kind of mother you are! It’s strange, Tony warned me that you’d try and squeeze money outta me and he’s right. Despicable!”

“(Whining) That’s it, go on, insult me all you want. After all I’ve done for you, you repay me with crass insults It shows clearly what kind of son you! Are. And as for your mate Tony, tell him to stay out of family business. The hide of him trying to bad mouth me when he don’t know the circumstances.”

“Hey, don’t you say a word about Tony. It were him that got me through me High School diploma, no thanks to you. He’s a good mate he is, so just shut yer gob. Remember he also found the job that’s paying wages fer you to get yer greasy hands on. Belt up mother.”

“And what may I ask is a much older boy doing coddling a youngster. He’s married and should be looking after his wife, not a snivelling wretch like you. If I didn’t know better I’d say he has sinister motives behind . . .”

“(Shouting) Shut the fuck up mother, that’s disgusting . . .”

‘(Quietly) For Christ’s sake you stupid bitch, leave the boy alone. How about giving him some support eh? He’s going to join our Defence Force to serve our country. Ignore yer mother Ryan, I’m bloody proud of you. Go on piss off, go and get pissed with yer mates. Here ten bob[3], go and get sloshed.”

“(Shouting) That’s my money you creep! How dare you give him my money that’s needed to keep house. Next week you’ll owe me ten bob more.”

“Piss off Clare! Yeah piss off and get a job. Yer nothing but a bludger.”

Ryan kept the money for his going away piss-up. As it turned out, both Bluey and Geoff were also summoned to do Nasho, except in their case, they’d opted for the army which only required 90 days service, and no overseas commitment. The three youngsters planned a big piss-up for Saturday July 13, so they found themselves in the local beer garden in the early afternoon. Tearful goodbyes with girl friends were not allowed.

Ryan took the first shout using his dad's ten bob as a kitty. Even though mid-winter the day turned out sunny, so in defiance of the weather they went shirtless. After all, when you get sloshed you don’t feel anything. The mood stayed upbeat with only a tinge of apprehension for the big step they were about to take.

Ryan passed on his dad’s message that in nineteen and forty-two, young blokes their age were asked to form a ramshackle Company to stop the Japanese who were invading New Guinea, just north of Australia. In appalling conditions, this Company of misfits held back a Japanese Division of over two thousand warriors along the Kokoda Trail, with such heroism the name Kokoda entered into Aussie fighting folk law.

Now as the afternoon progressed, drunken promises to emulate these hero’s came thick and fast. At this level of inebriation, Tony joined the group.

“Well you fellas sound good and pissed, mind if I join you?”

“(Slurring) Nah, courshh not Tony me man. yer a sshamp man; the way you stroked our boat to victory at the Freshie furf carnival will go down in hisppory . . . yer a hero Tony. Rumours goin’ round ya might (hick) be up fer club captain eh?”

“Shut it Bluey, I’m too sober for that crap. Here, what’re you drinking? It’s my shout. C’mon Ryan give me a hand will ya?”

As Tony and Ryan went to the bar, Geoff slurred,

“He’sh good bloke is Tony. Ryan said if’n it weren’t fer Tony he’d never have pashhed his Year twelve. Wish I’d had someone to croach me in me final year.”

“Yeah, thoze two are really closh ain’t they; been good friends fer a long sltime.”

At the bar, Tony turned to Ryan whilst their orders were being filled.

“Last time I’ll see you boychik, I hope you don’t mind me crashing yer going away party.

“Hey man, I can’t stop thinking about leaving you. I’m not getting drunk because I’m happy, I’m getting pissed because I’m sad. Can’t I see you tomorrow?”

“Best not, I might chain you to my bed. We don’t wanna risk that, do we.”

“Now that yer wife’s gone I can’t understand why I couldn’t come and live with ya. Why won’t ya let me?”

“I don’t know, except I reckon we should wait till you finish Nasho. It’s only six months away, so let's not rush. Look yer gonna have a time of your life boyo, think about making new friends, learning new skills, seeing new places, and enjoying new sights. In a way I’m envious . . . Ok, thanks . . . how much? There, that should cover it.(paying for the round of beer). Hey, give us a hand, I can’t carry all meself.”

After sorting out who gets what, Tony sat down to enjoy the afternoon.

“Say Ryan, we’se jest bin talkin’ bout yer doin’ oversheas duty. What d’yer reckon ‘bout this towelhead Nassar? D’yer reckon he’s gonna cause trouble?”

“What the fuck yer talkin bout Bluey? I ain’t heard nuthin about . . . who’d yer say ‘is name is? And what’s gotta do with me?”

“Nassha dick-head, he’s the boss-cocky ‘o the gypos. Don’t yer read the papers?”

“Pish off lame-brain. What’s he talkin ‘bout Tony?”

“Colonel Gamal Abdul Nassar. He’s the president of Egypt and he’s talkin about taking over the Suez canal.”

“What’s at gotta do whiff me?”

“Well if Britain and France, who own the canal, challenge him it could be war. It all depends on Israel. If they come in with the Pommies and the French fries, it could get serious. You could get called up to fight.”

“(Alarmed) NO WAY! I’m not gonna kilt anyone. I can’t SHIT! What am I gonna do? I’m a lover, I ain’t a killer.”

This brought boozy laughter from the assembled. Tony then tried to pacify him.

“It’s alright Ryan, We’ll just phone the Prime Minister and tell him yer a menace to national security.”

All through a liquid afternoon, the lad’s tried to hide their apprehension with copious amounts of grog. Every so often, Ryan would exchange glances with Tony; at times very wistful glances. But if they thought no one noticed they were mistaken.

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17.2

“ . . . Cadets, RIGHT DRESS!”

The twenty-four young men in Flight[4] A of the Australian Air Force National Service intake, shambled into position. The process took several minutes while the new cadets, still unfamiliar with each other, rearranged themselves as explained by the Flight Sergeant. Three rows, where the foremost right person measured distance with an arm’s length to the man in front; each row then shuffled, taking station within an arm’s length to the man on the right.

Arriving mid-morning at the Laverton Air Base, about 60 kms south of Melbourne, the squad were still in their civvies. They’d been introduced to their sleeping quarters which consisted of three Quonset Huts left over from World War Two. Being billeted as eight persons to each hut, a cursory inspection deemed they were surprisingly comfortable. Now they’d assembled to march into for the Canteen for lunch.

As a group they stayed together, simply ignoring all other personnel eating lunch. Fraternization would take some time. Their uniforms would be issued later in the afternoon, at which time they’d be fully incorporated into the Australian Air Force. After being supplied with gear based on the cadet's own size guesstimate, there followed hilarious activity as cadets exchanged any ill-fitting gear. Eventually, they assembled with pride in their new uniforms for the march to dinner.

Now, after the evening meal and until lights out around ten p.m. they had free time to tend personal stuff. Of course their first night in a strange state, a strange new habitat, strange new comrades, and strange new environment, did not proceed without some drama. To young men used to having their own room and bed, settling down to sleep in a crowded environment proved difficult. On the first night, no-one slept very well. Whimpering, farting, and unmistakable sounds of masturbation pervaded the sleeping hours.

The next morning saw them wake up with the realization they were now formally in the Air Force. The typical day comprised, early morning exercise, breakfast, drill, lunch, more drill exercises, lectures and finally dismissal around five p.m. They would then make their own way to the Canteen for dinner and eventually ‘lights out’.

In the hut before lights out, the boys told jokes, indulged in a bit of rough, and developed friendships. Eventually, their dreams of flying in jet planes and learning pilot skills have been just that . . . dreams. National Service cadets were classified as ‘Aerodrome Defense’ and spent their time learning army drills and tactics. Too late they realized it would’ve been better doing their time in the Army with a commitment of only Ninety days and no Overseas service. Still the Air Force uniforms impressed.

That first night Ryan had only one thought . . .Tony.

I wonder what he’s doing now? It’s strange being here down south not knowing the blokes in me squad. I guess some are just as uptight as I am. Jesus Tony, I really wish you was here. I gotta go without sex for nearly six months, except for me right hand. I wonder if there’s any homo’s in the squad. Not that I’m gonna ask or such, it’s too big a risk and aside from personal injury, I’d get immediately dishonourably discharged. As promised, I’ll write to him at least once a week and he’s gonna do the same. Best not let the others fellas see me letters. I’ll just say they’re personal like.

“Pssst, You're Ryan ain’t ya? I got that right?”

“Yeah, that’s me name cobber[5], you’re Alfred ain’t ya?”

"Yeah, but jest call me Fred, cause I don’t like Alfred, it sounds like a pommie name. Where’re ya from Ryan?”

“From Harbord, near Manly. Where you?”

“Up country, ummm . . . Tamworth.”

“(Laughing) Jesus, a country boy! Say, what’s it like to fuck a sheep?”

“Not bad, but better if’n ya fuck’s em on top of a cliff.”

“Eh? What . . . I don’t understand, why’s that?”

“(Laughing) course they press back harder!”

“What the fuck yer talkin about . . . oh, I gotcha (Laughing) that’s funny. Yer a dirty man young Fred, and pleasantly evil. I reckon I’m gonna enjoy yer company. Whatya think about Nasho so far?”

“’s OK. I mean the foods good so far. I can’t wait t’ get up in a plane. Been wanting to fly since I was a young-un. Me uncle flew jets in the Korean war. It were him that said I should join the Air Force.”

As Ryan went to respond an angry voice interrupted,

‘(Angry) And I’ll fly up both yer arses if yer don’t shut it. Get some sleep heroes or go down into the shitter if’n ya wants to talk. Y’ can kiss each other good mornin’ tomorrow.”

Fair enough, but a tentative friendship had been formed.

<><><><>

17.3

Sensing kindred spirits, Ryan and Fred gravitated towards each other, and over the coming days became friends. Fred enjoyed Ryan’s earthy language and direct conversation. Within several weeks they knew about each other’s likes, frustrations, and beliefs. When the subject of girls arose, Ryan simply said he had someone at home who he missed and left it at that.

Fred grew up on a farm and seemed a simple country boy; not simple intellectually, but simple in his approach to life. When it came to schools, Ryan related his experiences at The Grammar School. As for Fred, he went to school in Tamworth before leaving to help his dad on the farm. Of course they were friendly with others in the hut, but in daily matters like eating, telling stories, and mucking around, they gravitated to each other.

Every cadet hated night-time guard duty as, in pitch blackness, they had to cover the lengthy perimeter of the air base. This chore carried out in cold, windy weather, became scary in the dead of night. They patrolled in pairs and kept on high alert, challenging any movement or anything sounding suspicious. Every so often, their hut mates would play some prank and the prospect of this happening kept them on full alert.

One day they were transported to a firing range and had to practice with weapons dating back to the First World War. They nearly shit themselves each time they pressed a trigger. In the cafeteria, they sat together as a group and seldom mixed with other cadets, particularly those of Flight B. So after about a month of mindless dreary days, they were granted a weekend leave to spend any way they wanted. Of course, all the Interstate lads opted to go into Melbourne City and try out the local beer.

As their first free weekend drew near the cadets grew excited. They had only passing images of the state capital on the way down to Laverton AFB. Now Ryan, Fred and two other friends, grouped together to plan their outing. They adjourned to the cafeteria as there they could talk with some privacy. After taking orders from the two other lads, Ryan stood in a queue talking to Fred about the upcoming outing when he froze as a voice behind him said,

“Ryan? Jesus Christ, Ryan Seaton? . . . Ryan, I can’t believe it’s you man. I can’t believe it’s you.”

Provoked by the sound, Ryan turned around and came face to face with . . . Jim Tandara. For a moment he just stood, open-mouthed and astonished. Jim Tandara here, with him, in the Air Force, in Laverton, doing his Nasho. Wow! Then he sort of recovered,

(Raising his voice) “Jimbo! What the fuck are you doing here? When? What? How? I can’t believe it’s you.”

“(Excitedly) It’s me alright, me Jimmy Tandara. Err, I’m in Flight B, and I’m guessing you’re in A Flight. No wonder we haven’t we haven’t seen each other before. It’s bloody incredible, we’re both here, umm . . I think yer cobber is trying to get yer attention.”

Ryan turned back to Fred and introduced Jimmy. Momentarily forgetting his purpose he asked Fred,

“Can you remember what the fellas wanted, Fred?”

“Yeah, easy . . .” and gave his order for the four of them. After paying and collecting the drinks, Ryan turned back to Jim,

“Are you alone or with someone?”

“Yeah, like you I’m ordering for a group. There’s four of us, so when we both finish placing the order, how about you and I find a quiet corner to get up to date.?”

“You got it!, Wow this’s terrific, we sorta lost touch. I guess we’re both guilty, eh?”

After depositing the beverages, Ryan apologised to the others,

“Hey, I’ve just met an old schoolmate. He’s here in flight B and we gotta lot to talk about. You fellas go ahead and plan what we’re gonna do in Melbourne town; whatever ya decides alright with me.”

Moving away, Ryan looked around the cafeteria and easily found Jim sitting at a quiet table waiting on Ryan to come over. His thoughts were slightly adulterous.

Geeze if anything he looks better than he did last time at the station. Those beautiful dark brown eyes he must’ve inherited from his Abbo ancestors, they . . . they, just give me goose-bumps . He’s a mite taller, but still very athletic. OUCH! Tony, I deserved that, I’m bad.

With such bad thoughts swirling around his noggin, he sat down opposite Jim.

“(Smiling) Jimbo, I’m totally gobsmacked, yer the last person I thought I’d see down here in this turd-pile. It’s been what? . . . three years, or thereabouts.”

“(Quietly) Yeah, must be. Even though we haven’t communicated doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about you, Ryan. (Pause)(Earnestly) I thought about you a lot, because lottsa things have happened.”

“Yeah, same here. But first, how’d ya get to choose the Air Force?”

“I could ask you the same. I thought being a water person you’d choose the Navy? Why Air Force?”

“Oh, sometime as a kid, I joined the Junior Air League, so I just thought I’d follow on. Bit sorry I did now, we ain’t gonna see much flying . . . if any at all! What’s your story?”

“Oh me uncle served in the Air Force in Korea and convinced me to do me Nasho in the same service. Yeah, it bloody-well sucks, don’t it?”

“Yeah, but we’re hoping to see some of the Olympic Games whilst we’re down here. What’s the gossip from your lot?”

“Just rumours, nothing reliable. There’s plenty of blokes doin’ their Nasho here in Victoria, but I guess as we’re the closest to Melbourne proper, I reckon we’d be first pick.”

Then they just stopped talking and stared at each other. As the uncomfortable silence lengthened Ryan decided to venture into the unknown.

“(Softly and earnestly) How’re yer really doin’ Jimbo? I mean we shared some intimate moments didn’t we? Y’know, except for bein’ so far away from each other, we could’ve really connected. I’ll never forget leaving you on that train platform. I cried heaps that night because we had somethin’ special going and it scared me to think I might lose you.”

“(Subdued) I’d rather not go there Ryan, it’s all in the past.”

“(Forcefully) Bullshit! It’s not like we can forget our past. You were my first love and I know you felt the same about me; well I thought you did, anyway.”

“(Sadly) I were pretty mixed up Ryan, not that I’m sayin’ it weren’t good because it were good . . . it’s just . . . it just couldn’t go anywhere. I’m not queer.”

“(Angrily) Queer! Jesus I hate that term! I don’t recognize that term and I’ll tell you straight out I’m definitely not queer. It’s not queer to love someone, really love someone. As far as I know, there ain’t any rules to loving. I can’t understand why the nasties condemn something that’s beautiful. I’m not ashamed of bein’ with you Jim. The little time we shared together I’ll always remember with happiness. It were a beautiful friendship that you and I had, and then taking it to the next level just proved how much we felt for each other. Y’see because we bonded by sharing our bodies simply means we wanted to enhance the love we felt for each other. Well anyway, that’s what I thought. Please don’t rubbish us and try and coat our time together with guilt. I won’t buy it. I reject it. You can’t lie to me Jimbo and say you didn’t feel anything between us.”

Silence . . . Jim, with tears not far away, looked up at Ryan.

“I don’t reckon I’m worth those words Ryan. No, I’m not gonna lie. Yeah, I had strong feelings for you mate, probably still do; but what’s the point if’n it’s a dead-end.”

“Whatcha mean . . . dead-end?”

“Just that. We can’t be together like boys and girls do normally, it’s illegal.”

“You mean I can love you as a brother, but as soon as we have sex, then our brotherly relationship becomes illegal?”

“C’mon Ryan, you’re trying to oversimplify the problem, but yes, it’s like you said. Boy’s just can’t have sex with other boys and if we do we’re thrown into jail. And there’s some (Ryan went to interject) . . . no, let me finish, because here comes the really hard part. My culture just won’t abide same-sex relationships. With me being the first Abbo to get enrolled at a Private school everyone’s watched me. I’d feel the whole weight of shame on me if I turned out to be queer. So please . . .”

“BULLSHIT! (several heads turned to the sound of Ryan’s outburst) You don’t owe anything to anybody. It’s your life Jimbo, no one else has the right to tell you how to live yer own life. If yer gonna spend yer whole life conforming to others expectations, you’ll be a very unhappy chappie. I’m not trying to oversimplify anything; I’m just pleading with you to live yer own life, to be Jim Tandara, the real, beautiful Jim Tandara.”

“(Sighing) I wish I could do that Ryan, but I can’t . . . and neither should you. What about your parents? Aren’t they entitled to be grandparents? What’s gonna happen if they find out yer queer? Think of the shame. You may think me a coward, but from my viewpoint, it’s better to find a girl, get married, and have kids. I really believe that’s the only course open to me . . . not only me, but you as well.”

Silence. The two lads just stared at each other over a gap measuring ten thousand miles.

“(Sadly) No, I don’t think yer a coward Jimbo - no not at all. It saddens me to hear you say yer gonna hide who you really are and live yer personal life according to someone else’s warped viewpoint. I can tell you now I’ve met someone and we’re deeply in love. Yes, we’ve taken our association way past the sex threshold. Simply put, we love each other and when I get back, we’ll somehow find a way to make it work. Oh, his name’s Tony and I worship him. We love each other so much we’ll fly in the face of cruelty and live our lives as free human beings.”

“You mean you’ll never try and have a relationship with a female?”

“(Angry) No, and there’s something else you haven’t considered. At some point down the track you’ll be unable to kerb yer basic sexual needs. Or worse, if you do, you’ll end up a basket case. What’s gonna happen to yer missus and the kids when it comes out yer attracted to yer own sex. It’s called being a homosexual, Jimbo. Have you considered the harm you’ll do to yer wife? She’s entitled to the truth from you boyo and when , and I mean when not if, when she finds out, her life is gonna be ruined. I bet ya ain’t thought of that.”

Long silence. Jim just looked down and played with his coffee mug. Eventually,

“(Sigh) I dunno Ryan, I just dunno. I can’t . . . no, I won’t answer you. I just have to take my life one step at a time. No-one knows what’s in store for us. I don’t have any choices, I’ll just have to deal with me life day by day.”

“(Sadly) No Jimmy, we all have choices. So do you, in fact you’ve just made a choice boychik . . . you’ve chosen to deny yer sexuality and opted to live a hetro life. Man, I really feel sorry for ya. Don’t get me wrong, if yer thinks I’m bein’ hard on ya, it’s only because I still love ya as I would me own brother; the time we spent together I’ll always cherish.”

Then another voice joined the conversation,

“I don’t wanna butt in but you both sound a bit agro. Anything I can do?”

They both looked up to find an anxious Fred standing there.

“Nah Freddo, just me and Jimbo shared a little disagreement, sort of a misunderstanding between friends, (Jim nodded) it’s all been sorted.”

“Glad to hear. Say Jim, do you and yer mates wanna come over and join us?”

“Thanks for that, I’ll ask, I’m sure they’ll agree. At least we can bitch together about the Air Force. I’ll go ask.”

“Umm . . . Jimbo, we’ll talk more, but . . . well, maybe not. I guess you’ve made yer mind up, eh?”

Back in the hut Ryan decided to write to Tony. His discussion with Jim had raised some issues that he and Tony avoided. It wasn’t his first letter, he’d dashed off a quickie as soon as he arrived at the AFB. As yet he hadn’t received a reply.

Before leaving, Ryan agreed with Tony to feminize their names so anyone reading wouldn’t question their relationship. Tony became Toni and Ryan became Ryanne.

Hey sweetie,

God I miss you. If ever our relationship is put to the test it’s right now. Every night darlin’ before I gets to sleep I think about you and about being with you in the biblical sense. Sure, there’s heaps of chick spunkies down here but all I do is look and compare with you. In six months’ time I know I’ll look back and wonder where the time’s gone. Right now, I just don’t know how I’m going to survive the next six months.

You remember I told you about Jim Tandara my schoolmate? Well he’s down here at Laverton AFB. Can you believe it? We had a deep talk about his situation and he’s opted to live his life in denial. I told him about you and I, but his minds made up. It upset me so much I almost cried. Apparently his tribe is hostile, and he doesn’t want to be an outcast. Sad, sad, sad.

On other news . . .

. . . and he signed off as,

Your beloved, Ryanne

xxxx

PS you owe me one. Please write, otherwise I’ll go cuckoo!