Young, Gay and Scared - 8. Chapter 8

8.1

.” . . are ya sure Biffo? The old bag said he was a poofter. Ya sure ya heard that right?”

Martin Cradox had accosted Bert Cree as they were on their way to the cafeteria. Cradox couldn’t wait to share the info he had on Tomas Davis.

“Cause I’m sure Bert, I got good ears. I know I don’t have a pretty face but me hearings spot on. I heard it just like I told ya. What d’ya reckon we should do, eh?”

“I’m thinkin.’ It were just Tommo Davis she mentioned, not Seaton his buddy as well?”

“Nope.”

“Well we’se gotta do sumthin Biffo, we can’t have a filthy poofter cruising around us. I mean just think o’ being in the showers nakid with the creep. I’ve heard they can convert blokes like us to their filthy habit just by seduction. They kin cast a spell or sumthing and ‘whoomph’ we’re queer. Me dad would kill me if’n I told ‘im I’m a poofter; he’d kill me, for sure.”

“Yeah, mine too. So what d’yer reckon we should do?”

“Well we’se gotta let the creep know we’se ontta him. Once we do that the news will go through the school like a bushfire. Once it gets out we can decide what to do then. If we heavied him without the kids knowing why, we could be in trouble. Once it’s out that he’s a poofter, we’se got an excuse to jump him. Also, we don’t know how legit . . . (Biffo went to protest) hey, settle down mate, I believe ya, but just to make sure, we’ll watch his reaction to being sprung. That’ll tell us that what ya heard is ridgy didge. What d’yer think?”

“Yeah, sounds good. What’s the next move?”

“Sally Perkins.”

“What do . . . oh yes, Sally Perkins the school’s biggest gossip. Of course, one word in her ear and the whole school’ll know about it faster than a speeding bullet. That’s brilliant Bert. True genius.”

“God, I hope so. Look, she’s over there with her cronies at their regular lunch table. Why don’t you go tell her that I want to talk t’her about sumthin important? Let her come to me, she can’t resist gossip. Of y’go.”

The ruse worked not only because the young lady in question was a terrible gossip, but she also had a crush on Bert Cree. She accosted Bert as he was eating lunch.

“Yes Sally, what can I do for you?”

“Biffo Cradox said you’se wanted to see me. Are ya finally gonna ask me out?”

“Soon darling, very soon. I just wanted to ask if you’ve heard anything about Tomas Davis, you know, about him being a queer? You’re very popular and I reckoned if anyone would know it’d be you. Eh?”

“Nooo, no I haven’t . . . wait, did you say he’s queer? How . . . I mean, who told you?”

“Just what I heard. Seems someone heard the Nurse talking about him bein’ expelled from his last school because he got caught havin’ sex with another bloke. You ain’t heard nuthin eh?”

“No, I haven’t. Oh, the poor boy, I mean If this gets out he’ll be in big trouble. If the Nurse knows then surely the Headmaster knows. Wow, that means it’s official and we best not say a word Bert, you know how rumours are, how destructive they can be. Gee who’d know . . . Tommo Davis a poofter.”

“Yeah, right, best not say anything Sally, it’s just between you and me, Ok?”

“Of course, Bert, you can rely on me to keep mum. I won’t say a word about the poor boy.”

Within a day the whole school was buzzing with the news.

The first hint Tommo had that something was wrong was the whispering. As he walked to his locker after last class he noticed strange looks and hushed murmuring. He thought nothing of it until Bluey waylaid him walking out the school gates.

“(Panting) hey Tommo, wait up. I need to talk to ya. (Tommo slowed and faced Bluey). This’s important.”

“What’s up?”

“Haven’t you heard the gossip that’s going around about you?”

“No, and I don’t know what yer talking about Bluey. I ain’t heard nuthin.”

“(Embarrassed) Geeze this is hard. There’s a rumour going around that you’re a . . . ummm . . . Oh, fuck! . . . that you’re a homo.”

“What!”

Bluey’s words hit Tommo like a sledgehammer. For several seconds he just stared at Bluey unable to focus. A terrible fear coursed through him, his breathing slowed, his heartbeat soared, and he went white as blood drained from his face. In a trance, he just stared at Bluey unable to find words to respond.

“What!”

“Jesus Tommo this is serious. You gotta go to the headmaster and find out who’s been spreading these lies.”

“What!”

“Don’t keep saying ‘what’ boyo, you gotta do somethin because this could get bad, real bad. If this got to the likes of Bert Cree or Biffo Cradox your dead meat. Say something Tommo. Please say something. I’m with yer, whatever you decide, I’m with yer.”

There was a long silence, and the longer it grew, Bluey became increasingly uncomfortable, because Tommo had not flat out denied the rumour. He just stood, just stood still, white-faced, and distressed. Dark suspicion grew inside Bluey.

“(Whisper) It’s not true is it, c’mon Tommo tell me it’s not true, I’m dying here.”

Something jolted Tomas out of his stupor and he stammered ‘I . . . I . . . don’t know’, started sobbing, turned, and then ran away.

Oh my god, Oh my god. Fuck! Oh shit! Jesus, it can’t be true. Oh my god . . . he is . . . he’s a homo. Oh shit . . . what do I do now? Geoff, Geoff Cree!

Tomas raced home blindly motivated by fear, a deep, deep fear; fear of exposure, of ridicule, fear for himself and fear for his parents. He ran on instinct only, he had no sensation of running because all he wanted was the safety of home. To get home, to cocoon himself against all the horrors his mind envisioned.

On reaching home, he burst through the front door, headed for his room, and slammed the door closed. Shirley Davis, in the process of getting dinner ready, suddenly felt a wave of panic; she knew something was wrong, very wrong, something had happened for Tomas to act this way. She hurriedly dried her hands, put the dinner preparation aside, and quietly knocked on Tomas’s door. She could hear her son convulsing with heart-breaking sobs.

Entering softly, she faced a pathetic sight. Tomas had jumped into bed and pulled the bedspread over him, so not even his head was uncovered. Racking sobs gave way to a kind of wailing not unlike an animal in distress. The sound was awful. She sat down and simply placed her hand on where his head lay, waiting for the anguish to lessen. With gentle hands, she peeled back the cover and looked down on her son.

Tomas was lying on his side sucking his thumb and his body curled up in a foetal pose. It was heartbreaking to see; she didn’t want to disturb him because she worried as to his mental state. However, she had to find out what was wrong.

“(Soothingly) There, there mate, it must be bad huh?”

After a while, he nodded.

“We need to talk mate; can you please turn over and look at me.”

Slowly, he turned so he faced his mother. She gasped at the state of his eyes and dead white pallor.

“C’mon now, we’ve been through a lot together baby; you know I’m here to help. Tell me what happened.”

Haltingly and tearfully Tomas related the meeting with Bluey and how he reacted. A sense of dread overcame Shirley as she listened to her son’s agony. Then this was quickly replaced with anger, a wave of livid white-hot anger. Out loud she thought,

How dare they! How dare they cause this much suffering, just because my son’s different. If only they could be here now to see what pain they’ve caused – are causing. I’ll fight them; I’ll fight them with every cell of my body.

Mother and son stayed together until Colin Davis came home. By this time Tomas was coherent and the full story emerged. They sat at the dinner table, the evening meal forgotten, and discussed strategy.

“So, you don’t know who started the rumour, eh?”

“No dad; I noticed kids were looking at me strange and whispering, (choke) and it wasn’t until later that Bluey told me about the rumour. I . . . I . . . just froze, I guess. When he asked me, I think I said something like ‘I don’t know’, something as stupid as that. I can’t go through this again, I can’t.”

“You can, and you will. Look, this is different to the last school where you were . . . you were . . . well, you know what I mean. At this time, it’s pure conjecture, because no one has access to the Christian College’s records. You’re a junior and, as we stipulated, the records are sealed until you’re eighteen. To breach that privacy is a crime; you can be sure I’m gonna look into that aspect. Tomas, look me in the eyes lad, are you sure you haven’t done anything to fuel these rumours?”

“(Locking eyes with his dad) No dad I promise, I’ve not done anything and that’s why I was so stunned when Bluey spoke to me. Do yer think I can fix it?”

“You mean ‘we’ don’t you. We’re gonna fix this; your mum and I are not gonna quit until we’re assured that you're safe. I’m gonna talk to the Head tomorrow and demand some answers. But you must steel yourself to look any hostility in the face, and figuratively spit them in the eye. You can do that son, I know you can.”

“(Sigh) yes, yes I can. No, yes I will.”

“What are you going to do about Bluey, Tomas. Can you remember what you said to him?”

“Yes mum, I reckon I said something like ‘I don’t know’. I’ll just say I was in shock and wasn’t thinking straight. Anyway, I don’t mind if Bluey knows, he’s a good friend and wouldn’t do anything to cause harm. I trust him.”

“Would it help if you asked him around and we had a talk together. It might stress how worried we are about you.”

“No mum, thanks but no. I’m fourteen now and just have to accept who and what I am. This is something I have to handle myself, it’s my life we’re talking about, and as much as I appreciate your help, I’ve gotta do this myself. I hope you understand.”

His father thought ‘Atta boy, that’s what I was hoping he’d say’.

‘Alright, that’s great, I’m proud of you son, real proud. Now about dinner, anyone fancy fish and chips?”

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8.2

When Ryan came home from school, Bluey and Geoff turned up to have a pow-wow on the back steps.

.” . . I tell ya, I was just floored. Tommo, our mate Tommo, a poof. . . I mean, a . . . homo. I thought he must be joking, having a lend o’ me like, didn’t believe he was serious until I saw his face. He was white and that was the first I suspected it was true. Geoff, what about you mate, did you cotton on to Tommo about him being a homo?”

“(Sounding agitated) Shit no! Geeze, he’s just like us, don’t look like a queer at all. No, I’d never have guessed. Still can’t believe it, what about you Ryan?”

“(Slowly and softly) Yeah, yes, I knew, he told me just after he came down from that other school. (Turning to Geoff) What d’yer reckon a queer looks like Geoff? I don’t know, do you?”

“(A bit taken back) (Carefully) Yea you know, all sissy like. Walking funny, walking like a girl with a high voice. Look I dunno, never met one before, so’s I can’t say what one looks, but sure as hell they don’t look just like us – they’s different. Ummm, can yer get it just by sittin’ on the same shit-house seat? I heard it’s contag . . . err, . . . “

“(From Ryan) you mean contagious Geoff. I reckon that’s bullshit. It’s just the way we’se born, some like girls and some like boys. Point is homo’s need luv as much as anyone else and they care just as anyone else. They’re not a danger or a threat. Just folks same as us.”

“How come you’se knows so much about ‘em Ryan; you sound like you know . . .

God, I wish I could say something

. . . all about them. Tell me more, I’d like to know more.”

“That’s all I can say Geoff, don’t know nuthin else. What about yer brother Bert, what’s he got to say?”

“Ok, Jesus, one time when the subject came up he started to rant about how they’se dirty, putrid and should all be kilt. I gotta tell you fellas to keep outta Bert’s way because he can get nasty. I gotta warn Tommo to watch out because him and Biffo Cradox are a right mean pair. I reckon they’se the ones that started the rumour about Tommo. (Turning around to Ryan) Hey, you’ve been quiet mate, whatcha thinking?”

“How d’yer reckon the rumour started? I mean I’m not at school with you’se, so I’d like to know who started it. Sally Perkins has a reputation as a gossip so I can see how the rumour spread. She’s got a vicious tongue on her. Who started it Bluey?”

“No one knows, Ryan; a bit of a mystery. Why, what’s yer point?”

“Anybody can start a rumour boyo, and when ya got the likes of the Perkins sheila around, it’ll go through the school like a dose of salts[1]. Look fellas, right now the damage is done and I for one am gonna stick by Tommo. He’s still me mate, he’s still the same person we all called mate before this vicious rumour took flight. I’m not gonna drop him just because he’s a mite different – I’m bloody not! Trouble is I’m not at school with him, you shit-faces are. The point is, will you’se stand with him or not?”

There was a moment of silence as Geoff and Bluey thought about what Ryan said. Eventually,

‘Yeah, yer right Ryan. I don’t know about you Geoff, but Ryan’s spot-on, we have to stand by him and support if it comes to a bit of biff. Yeah, I couldn’t look meself in the mirror if he gets worked-over and we done nuthin t’help. That’d be a cunt of a thing to do; do nuthin I means. Wadda ya say, Geoff, will you stand up with me?”

“(Hesitating) See here fellas, I’m in a bad spot. If me old man and me brother find out I stood up for a homo, they’ll savage me. You don’t know me old man, he’s a right mean bastard. Remember, I’ve gotta live there so I gotta play it careful like. Now I know you’re gonna be pissed off with me, but put yourselves in my spot, what would ya do?”

“(From Ryan, sympathetically) I understand Geoff and I’m sure Tommo will understand too. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, it probably won’t come to a punch-up. If it happens Geoff, the best thing you can do is find a teacher quick smart and try and stop the bashing. How does that sound?”

“Yep, that’ll do, that’s smart Ryan.”

“Say, are you gonna go and see Tommo soon, it’s Thursday now so if I were you I’d wait until Saturday. Hey, it’s up to you.”

“Sounds good Bluey, yeah I’ll go around on Saturday. If ya sees Tommo tomorrow tell him I’m calling by on Saturday.”

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8.3

Tomas felt like he was going to his execution as he made his way through the main gate, through the main door, and into the school proper. Immediately, he sensed kids looking at him and whispering as he walked by. A sense of despair engulfed him.

Is this what I must endure for the rest of my school years, and perhaps for the rest of me life? I feel so hopeless, so pathetic. It’s all right for me parents to say to just ignore the nasties, but every kid wants acceptance, to be included, and not to be ostracized. I just long for simple friendship and not be the object of abuse, ridicule, and hatred. Haven’t heard from Bluey since I ran away yesterday; that’s something I gotta do, I mean, make up some story that I became frightened and couldn’t think straight. Why do I feel so tired, not just me body but in me mind? Never felt like that before. Ahhh, here’s me first classroom.

His first class was Geography and was his favourite because he was good at it. As he went to his regular seat, Bluey waved at him friendly, as if nothing had happened. This was followed by a clumsy note passed to him, saying Bluey wanted to talk at the end of the lesson. Surprise, surprise! Tommo waited out the lesson with something akin to dread, and by the time the class ended he was a nervous wreck.

Outside in the hall, Bluey grabbed his elbow and made Tomas face him.

“Hey Tommo, slow down. I need to talk before ya go racing off. (Tommo hesitated but then decided to listen to what Bluey had to say). I gotta say sorry fer yesterday. I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just worried about the rumour, (Tommo went to interrupt) No, please mate, I want to clear the decks. (Tommo just waited uncomfortably) Me, Ryan, and Geoff been talkin’ and . . . well, we don’t care whether or not yer a homo . . . No, please let me finish. The point is there are some vicious kids at school that could make life uncomfortable for yer. All we’re saying is that we’re gonna back you up; we’re right beside you and if anyone picks a fight with you, they’ll have to go through us first. Serious mate, yer not alone, we’re with ya, and so’s Ryan.”

Tommo looked awful, dark shadows around his eyes, sunken cheeks and, what really worried Bluey, he’s developed a nervous tick down one side of his face. He looked as if he was about to implode. Bluey made a snap decision.

“Man, you don’t look too good, what’s say we miss this class and go to the library for a chit-chat. You gotta talk to someone Tommo, and I’m offering. Bullshit that, I insist.”

Suddenly, Tomas realized he very much wanted to talk, to tell the truth, to get it all out in the open. Like with Ryan, he felt safe with Bluey, so he eagerly went along with the suggestion. Once in the library, and ignoring the librarian's frosty glare, they found a quiet desk sufficiently far from nosy eavesdroppers.

When Bluey went to speak, Tommo interrupted,

“Just hear me out please mate, I gotta talk to someone other than my parents. Whilst they care for me and try to understand, the real battle for me is with kids my age. I can’t live in the adult’s world, I gotta live with you blokes. (Long pause, Bluey sensed that Tommo wanted to do the talking) (Clearing his throat) I . . . I . . . I’m a homo, Bluey, I gotta tell the truth because I’m sick o’ lying. Having said that, I don’t expect you to understand or even accept me, just know that this is the way I’ve been born, and I can’t do nuthin about it. It’s just me, and it’s me for the rest o’ my life.”

He paused, and Bluey could see that tears were not far away, so he jumped in,

“I’d be lying if I said I understand that. But bein’ born this way I can understand, because no-one, I repeat no-one, would choose to live in pain like you’re going through. I admire you boyo, I don’t know if I’d have the guts to turn up today and face all the crap bein’ dumped on you. That takes courage. As I said, Geoff, me, and Ryan had a pow-wow and decided we’re gonna watch yer back; anyone giving you pain will haveta deal with us first. Ya got that? (Tommo nodded) Ahhh on that, Geoff’s got a problem to do with his cunt-faced brother and his old man. Seems he could be in shit if he stands up physically for ya. He will, however, find a teacher or any adult quickly if anyone jumps ya – best he can do. Ryan said . . .”

“Look I appreciate what yer sayin’ and I’ll tell Geoff I understand his problem. I don’t want him to get into shit because of me. I’ll talk to him. I reckon it was Bert Cree and Biffo that started the rumour and if anyone’s gonna jump me it’ll be those two. How they found out is something me Dads’ gunna investigate. My records are supposed to be unavailable until I turn eighteen. Someone’s in a whole mess of trouble. (Sounding concerned) Bluey, whilst I appreciate your offer, I don’t want you to get involved, I don’t want to see you hurt. It’s my problem and I’m gunna have to face up. What’s really important for me is to know ya care. That’s the first kind words I’ve gotten since yesterday. I can’t tell you how much that means t’me. Yer a good bloke Bluey and I’ll never forget yer kindness.”

“Geeze enough of that, I’ll be bawling me eyes out like some sheila if you keep saying nice things to me. Oh, Ryan said he’ll pop around to see ya this weekend, asked me to tell ya. What are ya gunna do now?”

“Not sure boyo, I’ll just wait and see how it all plays out. (Pause) Hey, (Laughing) the old bag’s giving us the evil eye, so we’d better get back to class. (He placed his hand on Bluey’s shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze) Thanks Bluey, thanks heaps.”

However, in the world of the Nineteen Fifties, being a homosexual was anathema to Government, Religion, Police, and worst of all, schoolkids. The pressure and antagonism started slowly but gradually gained momentum. Name calling, physical hassling, abuse of property and shunning became the norm in Tomas’s life. Every day he was singled out for ‘treatment’. Not a day went by when he wasn’t abused, and every night he lay awake dreading the coming day. His parents became alarmed, as a young healthy lad went from being alive to merely existing.

<><><><>

8.4

They were an unmatched pair, one spindly and the other built like a tank. Vera Primson and Gladys Chambers sat in a tea room some ways from school in the late afternoon. Worry was writ all over, as they pondered their predicament.

“I never thought Gladys I’d feel compassion for a . . . a . . . goodness, I can’t even say the word . . . you know what I’m talking about (Gladys nodded). The way the kids are hounding young Davis is cruel and what makes it worse is that I may have played a part in his torment.”

“Vera don’t be so hard on yourself, the news could’ve been leaked a number of ways. It wasn’t just us that knew about the kid being queer. The people at his old school also knew – well, some of them did – and anyone could’ve blown the whistle. Don’t be silly.”

‘No, I talked to the secretary of his old school and she assured me that no-one would say a word because of the legal issue relative to these juvenile records.”

“That’s got me curious, sealed records can only be ordered after a court case. Was the boy charged with anything?”

“No, but the Davis’s lawyer arranged for the records to be sealed because he’s a junior. But nevertheless, I firmly believe the leak came only from our school and that points the finger at you and me. You mentioned one of the pupils was waiting for attention when you and I were talking. He must have heard you Gladys, and then started the rumour. There’s no other explanation. Only you, myself and the Headmaster knew details of the matter, and I’m certain the leak didn’t come from him and I. That only leaves out telephone talk.”

“Ok, maybe, probably, so what! So, the little twerp heard fragments of our conversation and broadcast the news. So, what. I couldn’t care less, and neither should you. We haven’t done anything wrong, so stop worrying. I do declare Vera, you’re such a worry wart.”

“(Sigh) I just hope you’re right Gladys, I just hope you’re right.”

<><><><>

8.5

“D’yer reckon we should be talkin’ here, it’s not exactly private.”

“Don’t worry Biffo, the best way to hold a private conversation is in a public place like the cafeteria here. You wanted to talk, so talk.”

“Jesus Bert, I wanna throw up every time I see that poofter walkin’ around like he’s normal. He needs a bloody lesson he does, a lesson that’ll say, ‘we don’t want yer filth here at our school’. Why hasn’t the headmaster done somethin’, we know he’s aware of the kids’ perversion and yet he does nuthin. Me dad says killin’ too good fer him and he should be made to suffer fer his sins. He keeps askin me why he’s still here and I ain’t got no answer for him. Every time I sees him, I wanna bash his bloody brains out. I seen me dad get real mad at times, but about this he’s rabid – he hates them queers. I gotta do sumthin or me Da is gonna think I’m queer too.”

“(Laughing) No chance of that boyo, yer about as normal as yer get. Although ya stink a bit; should bath more often. (Biffo flushed crimson) Don’t sweat it mate, it’s a good manly smell and I know the sheilas love it. My Dad’s the same, he hates these faggots and like yours, is wondering why the school don’t act. I share yer concern, and I reckon we gotta do sumthin - ya knows what I’m talking about.”

“Yep, whatya think we do?”

“(Thoughtful) Well nuthin can happen here at school cause we’d be sprung by someone and might be nabbed by the cops. That wouldn’t do, no point in us getting lumbered with a charge. My old man ‘spects me to be a bit brainier. Not that the cops would do much, cause we’d be doin their job for em. (Laughing) Might even be made citizens of the year. How about I think on it and let you know on the weekend. I’ll mosey around to your place say, Saturday arvo.”

“Ok, I feel better just knowing we’re gonna do something. Till Saturday then.”

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8.6

.” . . oh my god, oh . . . what . . . please . . . oh man, what ‘re you doing Gus? . . . oh, shit that’s fantastic . . . it feels . . . oh fuck . . . don’t stop . . .”

Ryan lay on his back with legs pulled backwards exposing his bumhole. Gus was giving him his first Rosebud and Ryan was squirming with pleasure. They’d discussed doing this several times, but Ryan had always reneged, saying it was too yukky. Now with Gus’s tongue gently probing and stimulating the nerves around his opening, Ryan was in heaven. As Gus continued torturing him, the urge for Gus’s cock intensified.

“Oh, shit man, this is torture, I can’t stand any more, me bums on fire; please, please finger me, I need penetration to stop the torment.”

“No little one, I’m gonna keep tonguing you until you scream to be fucked.”

When he sensed Ryan had been tormented enough, Gus – whose cock was also in dire need – lined up his cock-head and gently penetrated the lad watching as torment gave way to pleasure. Sensing Ryan’s sexual distress and need for relief, he gentled his penetration so they both achieved a shattering release. Ryan’s climax was substantial, lengthy, and loud.

Recovering, they started to talk – mainly Ryan, and about school and Tommo.

“I’ve gotta say, Gus I appreciate you teaching me about sex and stuff. I know I’m lucky to find someone like you to not abuse me. I was only thinkin’ the other night, whilst sex is about pleasure, it’s also about learning what and how so that a kid like me ain’t harmed. I’m lucky I guess.”

“(Pulling Ryan closer in a cuddle) Yeah I knows what ya mean. I was lucky too; me cousin was a few years older when I turned fourteen and he coached me in the safe and pleasurable ways of sex. Others ain’t so lucky, and having been abused, they have a negative attitude towards sex, which is a shame, a bloody shame. Anyway, what’s goin’ on with you little man?”

“Me and Jimmy Tandara are still pussey-footing round each other, neither one of us wants t’make the first move. I gotta respect his problem because he’s got more at stake than yours truly. I am drawn t’him Gus, the first time in me life I’ve had a genuine crush on someone . . . Oh god, I hope I haven’t upset you . . . ummm, talking about someone else . . .?”

“(Laughing) No, of course not. Look you and me, we’re good friends, as they say, friends with benefits. Fact is I’d encourage you to fool around with someone else, just so long as yer don’t get burned. Know what I mean?”

“(Cautiously) Yeah, I guess so. No, . . . I don’t really, but it’s Ok as long as me yarning about Jimmy don’t make you angry. I’d hate t’lose you as a friend mostly. Sex is one thing but losing you as a friend would be awful. Anyway, surely you must have someone your age to be friends with?”

“Oh, I did have someone, and we were very close. His name was Peter and it were a bit like you and me, damn good friendship, and bloody great sex. (Wistful) He had to move to Melbourne with his folks, and that was that. Shame really but tell me about this Jimmy.”

“I reckon it’ll always be an arm’s length friendship. I told ya that he’s got abbo blood in him, didn’t I?”

‘Yeah.”

“Well, it seems that aborigines look down on homo’s even more than us white folks do. He’s gunna suppress any homo feelings because of the danger he faces. Add to that he’s on a scholarship, so if he got canned from school, it’d be bad, not only fer him but for all aborigines. I don’t quite follow the last part, but that’s the way he’s thinking. I had to promise . . .”

“Bullshit! I reckon that’s bullshit. He can’t suppress his feelings . . . no, his needs any more than you and I can. Yer sex drive is one of the most powerful of our senses and you can only suppress it short-term. He’s gotta let it out sometime. When he gives in, it’ll be a monster. I just hope it’s you he chooses.”

“(Hesitantly) So do I, I’ll just wait and see. (Pause) My biggest problem is me mate Tommo. He’s being savaged at school so me mate Bluey tells me. Somehow it got out that he’s a homo and this being the cause why he was expelled from his first school. He’s same age as me; I don’t think I could stand it if I had to wear abuse every day. Apparently, the sheilas are the worst, although I’m sure Bert Cree ain’t far behind.”

“Shit! How did they find out? Didn’t you tell me his records were sealed because he’s a juvie? Shit, if someone’s spilled the beans, they’re in big shit.”

“Yeah, I mean I don’t know much about legal stuff, but if the cops start investigating I’d hate to be the one who blabbed. More to the point I hope the fuckwit, whoever he, she, or they are, does some serious time. I only spoke to Bluey this morning; he asked me t’go see Tommo cause he’s worried. Seems he looks like shit.”

“Who wouldn’t be, Christ he’s only fourteen and don’t have the maturity to carry a load of personal crap. It’s really up to the school Ryan, to look after him. They have a duty of care. Just think yerself if ya had to contend with verbal abuse day in, day out. It’d drive me up the wall. Yer right, better look after him.”

"I've been thinking that is. It’s why me and Jimmy are scared of being exposed as homos. I’d get a swift kick in the arse, from home, from school. Wouldn’t mind getting’ kicked outta home, but school? That’d be hard to bear. I reckon that’s why I value sein’ you each Saturday Gus, you take the pressure off me – sex wise I mean.”

“(Laughing) Ya mean I’m sorta like a doctor that gives ya relief every week. Ummm, not a bad way t’look at it. Being serious, you make sure you go and see yer mate soon, he needs a friendly face.”

And when he finally caught up with Tommo, the next day, he was shocked