Finding A Voice - 12. Chapter 12

Unknown Feelings

Worst feeling, feeling of the unknown.

Acceptance of things that are void?

Yet, I accept love

However, love full of uncertainty.

First kiss.

Sexy, scary, fun, terrifying.

Blindly leaping

into the unknown.

Relationships.

Your heart in another's hands.

Dependent on both working,

both unknown of the other's love.

Dark, bumping blindly.

Endless tunnel, walking.

Everything unknown,

unsure, unaware, uncontrolled.

Gained education,

old and grey.

Tunnel end, light.

Bright and warm.

Now what?

Reaching this part,

finish line.

Forever unknowing, what next?

Yearned Enlightenment

Whey do I feel the need to lie?

Could I just curl and die?

Truth hurts so many,

'lie is a lie no matter how tiny.'

Without fail, it is hard to tell,

what is honest and a tale.

Beating of my heart, echoes in my mind.

All the truths from the lies I must find.

I need to stop the pain,

in order for me to remain

by the side of my man,

for that is my main plan.

I lie for protection,

from pain of annihilation.

Of sweetest place to part

no more suffering of the heart.

Only weapon in my arsenal

for things that are too personal.

People treat me like a child,

I hide to fix things gone wild.

Yet, making matters worse.

Am I doomed, this curse?

More I lie, more I feel,

love I have will lose zeal.

Lie, lie, lie; push, push, push.

Always running, always on search.

How peculiar to envision,

life without simple mission.

Gazing out over the sea;

how, why, when will it be?

Dismal depression, oblivion;

hope receedes out of all men.