Finding A Voice - 13. Chapter 13

Alone

Memory recalls to youth;

innocence, naïve, trusting,

locked, closed in a booth.

Hoping, crying, others lying.

Life at home, rather be alone.

Aunt lied, mother sighed, I cried.

A pedestal dethroned,

looking back, I tried.

Through awkward adolescence,

buried under work, school, drama.

Dreaming of freedom, hence

tropical weather, healing trauma.

Young adult, choices many,

however, I choose poorly.

Out of the sea of plenty,

your love sparked me truly.

Jasmine travels the breeze,

vanilla rests on your lips.

Cooling surf soothes bodies.

Lifetime together with this trip?

Days molded this dream,

of happiness, love; your face

more than once doubt schemes.

But, bitter still your embrace.

You ask loaded question,

flooding back memories.

Now, I ask your nation,

'Can it stand casualties?'

I love you too much

causing a part of ways,

due to your touch

of these few days.

Continuation of our reunion,

united sailing the seas.

Wake, left devastation, ruin.

Despite constant pleas,

personal issues, using crutch,

passing, childish phase.

Sleepless nights, spare bed, couch.

In the end who pays?

Now I see, that you and he,

kindred lacking, love being worse.

I cannot escape, what must be.

Hellish purgatory with abysmal thirst.

Life on this part of Earth,

thanklessly stolen from me,

two beginnings from birth.

Last moments of a spirit free.

You will never be able to tell,

how it feels in my worst hell.

Craving your attention; wanting trust,

care not life you wish to bust.

Kind Torment

Rain pounding on my head

Making the aching oh so much more

Rage and fury fed

Fire ripped, burned, and bore

Listened to what was said

Delicate heart shredded, tore.

My love brought me news

Knees buckled under heavy pain

All around melancholy blues

Walls crashing going insane

No answers, not even clues

Running around like a Dane

Lost grip, downward roll

Cannot stop the endless slide

Memories take their numbing toll

Sitting, listening, watching the tide

Feeling I lost all control

Parts of me, shriveled, died

Living difficult after a shed

Faith and soul tricking the mind

Voice echoes in a hollow head

Looking, searching, never find

Love that is here never dead

Spirit of purity and kind

Years have molded into art

Life of kind torment

Decisions sweet and tart

Not fully knowing, yet meant

Loved ones we never part

Yet, in the end, we are all independent

Pity

Jealousy runs within my hollow shell

Hope, just another wishing well,

an empty feeling haunts my soul.

Echoing, "When will I ever be whole?"

Wanting love, within my reach.

Friends, high and mighty, preach.

Will my heart be able to teach,

from the age of cream and peach?

Alas, my heart has seen light.

Yearning for a relationship, not a fight.

Not seeing who is wrong or right.

When will my future become bright?

As the sun rises, a new day.

Sun casts its first ray.

Feeling like I am always a stray.

When will things go my way?

Not as happy as in the past.

Fell in love way too fast.

My relationships never did last.

Left me exposed on the mast.

No matter how much I try

the truth will always pry.

Not strong enough, just cry.

There is nothing left but to die.

My future looks so dark, bleak.

Running and running, becoming weak.

Doing nothing but hide and seek.

Just the flavor of the week.