IceBerg - 9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 17

Sitting myself down, I gave a slight push to the laptop screen and I picked up my hot cup. The coffee was a strong delight for my nose, the heat teasing my cold skin. I blew over it and clicked on my emails.

I frowned.

No new emails. Still.

I sipped my coffee and sighed.

He should have replied by now. Why wouldn’t he reply, it had been over two months now. I tightened my fingers around the handle of my cup and tapped my foot.

Months and he was still being a baby. He needed to grow the hell up. He clearly wasn’t professional enough to email about the story we were doing. If he was being like this then, I needed to carry on the script on my own. Screw it.

I placed my cup down. I would do the story myself. I would do it now.

I spent most of my early morning typing away. Every time I got stumped, I thought about how badly he had let me down. How he didn’t care about our project. That the days of us planning and chatting was just a faze for him. That he was the ultimate cliché character, too important for anyone else.

I thought about all this and I gritted my teeth; I forced myself to continue to write and write.

I clicked on the website and uploaded, the rage still beating the energy inside me.

An hour after I uploaded it all, I sat back, and drank the rest of my drink down my throat, the bitter cold coffee splashing.

‘Good morning, handsome!’

Turning around, I saw Alex standing in my kitchen. I couldn’t help but give him a sheepish smile. He smiled back, hand on hip, still wearing the crumpled shirt and boxers from the night before. His long legs stood proud, bare, perfect muscles outlined. He only had one imperfection; a messy bedhead and he still rocked the bedhead quite well. He rubbed his tired face.

We both just smiled at each other, laughing a little.

I raised my eyebrow, ‘Made some coffee a while ago. There is a cup there for you.’

While he walked over to the counter, I turned around in my seat just to make sure the story was uploaded on the site.

‘Mind if I sit?’ Alex was behind me. He stooped down and wrapped an arm across my chest. He bent down and kissed the top of my head. I knew he was looking at the screen.

I swirled around and pulled him onto my lap; his bare legs rubbed against my own. Hooking an arm around my shoulders, he leaned his head towards my ear, his back against my chest, and whispered, ‘Sure I am not too heavy you?’

I mimicked wheezing. I laughed. I hugged my arms around him and showed him the uploads on the website.

‘Aw, you put it on!’ he grinned. He leaned forward and kissed my temple.

As he read it, I closed my eyes, leaning my head forward onto his skin, letting his handsome scent fill my nose.

‘Oh, you got a new email!’ Alex leaned forward to see my screen. He stopped and stood up, looking downcast, ‘Oh, um, sorry, didn’t mean to pry there.’

He stepped aside as I looked over to my emails. But I didn’t read them, I just closed the lid. Whoever it was would wait.

***

Okay. It was nearly ten in the evening. Alex had left an hour ago. We had spent the whole day playing games on Xbox, eating whatever food we could find in the cupboards, laughing a lot and having plenty of… different fun.

I smirked to myself, clicking on the mouse.

I kept hearing my phone going off. The constant buzz, even though I would stare at the blank screen. No one was calling me. My phone was even turned off.

Why was my brain doing this?

I just had a good evening, a great evening, I wasn’t sad or mad at myself, this had been good few hours.

I could have lied to myself that the reason it had taken me all day to check my email was because of Alex. I knew he would be away training for a while, so it was our day to hang out together and we both needed that. Just us and no one else. I could have also lied and said I was not worried about who the email was from, that it hadn’t scratched the back of my brain for hours

I faced myself to the laptop. Okay. Let’s do this. I opened my new email.

It was from Charlie Conray.

I let out a long breath. I didn’t realise I was holding it in.

‘Hi Nathan. Just to let you know, there are a few grammar mistakes, I have put them down in the sections below. Charlie.’

Wait.

That was it? Two months for that? No apology? Just grammar mistakes? Was he… was he kidding me?

Slamming the laptop screen shut, I spun around in my chair, rubbing my face. I let out another long sigh.

Grammar mistakes? Was he real?

I whipped back around in my chair, and flipped the laptop open again. I clicked on the documents and read over where the mistakes were.

I narrowed my eyes and frowned. The mixed words and lines laughed back at me and my face burned. Clicking my tongue, I typed away.

It had been hours and now my eyes were heavy with fatigue, my arms were numb, the hunger in my stomach became a distant memory. The irritation of my phone beeping was like a noisy clock ticking in the background.

I uploaded the story on the site. I smirked to myself, scanning over the website. I went to click off.

‘Hi Nathan, glad you took my advice. I have some ideas on the new character. I will message you them tomorrow. Charlie.’

That was not from email, it was from live chat.

Desperate, I typed as quick as I could, to capture him in that moment, ‘Why not tell me them now, Charlie?’

He saw the message. He went to reply and stopped. He was offline now.

I slammed my fists on the table.

Who the hell did this guy think he was?

                                                                      ***

I tried to ignore the email for the new few days, but it gnawed at me like a little rat in my head. I scratched the back of my head a lot, ticking to the clicks of my tongue. Work just dragged on and I ended up looking like a homeless nervous guy, twitching away to his nervous breakdown.

I was getting into my flat. I had shrugged my jacket off and threw it over the coach. Another late finish at work. The laptop was perched on the desk like the pretty lady it was, waiting for me.

I marched over to my desk and opened the laptop up. Read his email. This stupid email.

It was formal, professional. Telling me the physical details of the new character, where his improvised lines would also fit in.

I was starting to hate Lady in Trance.

I copied the information in the email, and I placed it in a document. I would work on it tomorrow. Wait, a new message.

Live message.

‘Hi Nathan, just double checking you received my email. Charlie.’

It was midnight and why was he calling me Nathan? That was not my name. He knew that was not my name. It wasn’t cute or funny anymore.

I frowned and typed, ‘I received your email. I will work on it.’ I paused. ‘Hope you are well.’ It was sent before I had time to think.

He saw my message and went offline. I stared in horror at my own words.

Hope you are well?

Oli was right. I was too nice some days. It would cost me my dignity.

                                                                                                             ***

‘I’m telling you this in confidence, right.’

‘You already said that!’

‘I mean it!’ hissed Oli, standing next to me, refilling his champagne glasses. ‘There’s this guy.’

‘You want me to cover you for an hour?’ I didn’t even pause in my rhythm of changing my glasses on my tray.

Oli pulled a face at me and whacked my arm with the back of his hand, ‘We met a few days ago, he is here tonight.’

‘A celeb?’

Oli pulled a face again.

‘No’ he said, putting his hand on his hip. ‘He works at the bar. David. Not in the closet.’

Oli paused and muttered, raising an eyebrow at me, ‘Not all of us can afford to get celebrity hunks to fall in love with us. You know,’ he waggled a finger at me. ‘As a writer, surely you would say that if your life was a story right now it would annoy people. It doesn’t seem realistic, too far-fetched that this would actually happen in real life.’

I smirked at him and put my own hand on my hip, ‘You really like David, don’t you? What about your single man reputation, no one can hold you down, can they?’

He pretended to throw a thin glass at me, sticking his tongue out.

                                                                          ***

It was a Friday night, so after work, I was at Oli’s. When my phone rang. I checked it, hoping it was definitely ringing this time and it was.

I left Oli watching T.V. in the other room and I leaned against the kitchen wall, ‘Mum?’

‘Hi sweetie, I know it’s late.’

I glanced over my shoulder. The door was ajar, the light shining in from the other room, the T.V was blaring, and Oli was laughing.

‘I just wanted to know if Alex,’ her tones rose in excitement. ‘Is coming with you on Sunday?’

‘Mum!’ I held an inward sigh.

Why did I tell her about him on Sunday? Little bit of guilt in church and I ended up blabbing to her before I got in the car to drive home.

I said, ‘Alex is a professional athlete, he is training.’

‘Alex W. Scott. So, what does the W stand for? Oh, Harry, Harry!’ I could hear the phone muffling up. ‘Will you turn that down please?’

I could hear my dad murmur in the background.

‘I’m on the phone to your son!’

My dad murmured more.

‘Fine.’ she spoke more clearly. ‘If you get chance, do bring him down, I want to know how you met.’

‘Dude! You should come have a look at this!’ Oli’s shrill voice pieced.

‘I am just so happy you met someone, Nathanial, it’s been too long since that Jake,’ my mum said.

‘Yeah,’ my skin felt itchy just hearing her say his name.

‘Plus, he is so handsome, I have seen Alex on T.V, he is tall too! Much better looking.’

‘Nathanial, come on!’ Oli’s voice called.

Agh!

‘But I knew you would be okay. He never liked my lasagne so I should have known from the start he wasn’t a keeper.’

I bit my tongue from bursting out with a sarcastic comment on the real reason we broke, how awful Jake really was, how messed up our relationship truly was.

‘I won’t call you again Greystone! Get in here now!’ Oli was almost bellowing.

‘Is that your friend? Oh dear, I am sorry, I am disturbing your Friday night.’

‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it.’

Out of nowhere, Jake whispered ‘That’s your answer to everything they asked you when I left you.’

I cleared my throat, ‘I got to go. I will call back later.’

‘Okay, son, I love you.’

I murmured back and hung up.

Putting the cell phone in my back pocket, I threw the door open, marched in and barked out to Oli, ‘You’re screaming away like a…’

Oli was perched on the edge of the coach, his eyes peeled to the screen. He grabbed my arm and yanked me down and pointed towards the T.V.

‘Percentage? You mean when you say I need to get a grip, do you mean of life or on the fridge door?’

That was Charlie’s voice. On the screen he was sat with his old panel hosts, looking casual and relaxed. Grinning like a young guy without a care in the world.

Oh. Okay.

I guessed he got back on his panel show after all.

The audience laughed at his witty comebacks.

The main host laughed and spread his arms, ‘The question is what percentage of Donald Trump…’

‘Zero percent,’ interrupted someone else.

That voice was Alex. He was sitting with the other team, opposite to Charlie.

‘Oh,’ Alex smiled. ‘Sorry, I thought the question was still based on Charlie’s grip on life or not letting go of the fridge door.’

The audience laughed along, blissful and delighted. Afterall, Charlie was laughing back too. But his eyes were dark. Alex chuckled back. His eyes narrowed a little too.

I continued to stare at the screen, pretending that I didn’t notice Oli giving me funny looks in the corner of my eye.

                                                                ***

We were back at work the next day.

‘You haven’t eaten again today?’ remarked Oli, crossing his arms.

I shrugged, ‘I forgot.’

‘You forgot to make food?’ he shook his head. ‘How can you hate food so much man? It’s awesome, I count down the time until I can have it. You got to start eating, man.’

I wasn’t going to tell him that I did actually love food. I really did. But Jake. He was louder and almost appearing every hour, and it was getting so exhausting trying to ignore him that everything else just got forgotten about.

‘Yeah, you can tell you like food,’ I teased, poking him in the stomach.

‘Move, move,’ bellowed another waiter, rushing between us with a full tray of drinks.

Oli pulled a face after him, before turning to me, ‘Dude, you look exhausted, have you even been sleeping?’

I rubbed my tired eyes, I was so tired. I couldn’t remember if I had showered that morning and then I felt so self-conscious that I dosed myself in aftershave and now I was probably walking around with a scent that could choke people.

‘Nathanial!’ nudged Oli. ‘You there, buddy? Your eyes were closing a little.’

‘Sorry, I said with a sheepish smile.

He looked at me concerned a little, ‘Think you’re a little burnt out, when was the last time you took a holiday or a break?’

‘When was the last time you took one?’ I retorted.

He leaned over to me, his tray full of champagne glasses filled up, ‘You know, I got some vitamins you could have.’

‘Vitamins?’ I raised an eyebrow at him. I gave a snort of laughter.

‘Yes, vitamins, actual vitamins,’ he whacked me upside the head. ‘The ones that are good for you. You should take some. Might give you some energy.’

Before we could talk anymore, Gregory marched through the swinging doors with a glaring look in his eyes.

***

‘Nathanial?’ a hand clasped my wrist.

‘Huh?’ I turned to Alex. We were hanging at my place, playing a racing game on the Xbox.

‘Did you hear what I said?’

He was talking? When was he talking? I didn’t hear anything.

‘Sorry,’ I said.

He released his grip on me, and without thinking, I rubbed the back of my head hard.

Alex’s car wasn’t moving on the screen, he was looking at me, frowning. Not frowning with anger. But a sad frown.

‘You’re very spacey today,’ he said. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Just tired,’ I replied. I leaned over and kissed him and added, ‘Think I might be burnt out, that’s what Oli said. I’m just tired.’

‘Have you been to the doctor yet?’ he asked, putting his arm around me.

I hung my head low, not looking at him. He leaned over and put his hand on mine.

I stuttered, my eyes almost closing, ‘We should, we should get some food later.’

My voice was strained a little. I cleared my throat. ‘Like, ahem, ah, whatever is on your magic diet from Andy.’

‘Come on,’ Alex teased. ‘Andy know what’s good for my training, this seafood is good, he is the best trainer, you know.’

‘You swim in water, you eat water creature, you sure you aren’t Titan?’ I clicked my tongue and made ‘bob’ noises near his ear.

Chuckling, he tried to bat me away, ‘Nathanial!’

‘Look, no teeth!’ I continued to paw at him, making the ‘bob’ noises into his ear as his large gentle hands batted at me.

‘Nathanial!’ he grinned. He grabbed a pillow from behind him and bopped me on the head with it. ‘You are such noob! You know what, it’s a good thing I lov...’

He stopped himself. His face was still draining from the laughter. He coughed and placed his pillow back behind himself.

I couldn’t help but watch, as he fumbled around with the sheets, sinking his bare stomach under the sheets. My chest relaxed as if I had been wearing fastened seatbelt all my life and now it was unclasping.