IceBerg - 14. Chapter 14

‘Should have totally slapped that bitch!’

‘Yer,’ I mocked, taking another slice of pizza. I was turning into a guy who liked Fridays now. I did actually enjoy it. Even if I did have to come in on Saturdays for work.

I had felt better after spending time with Alex, and I had talked to both Charlie and Oli.

‘Well, she should have,’ Oli muttered, sitting back. He turned to me and said, ‘So, you going to go?’

‘Of course, I am going to go!’

‘Alright, alright!’ he put his hands up in the air. ‘You, paying the flight or?’

‘He offered.’

‘Aha, rich boyfriend,’ winked Oli. ‘Wish David would pay for my holiday.’

I clamped my mouth shut and grinned, ‘Sounds like you are jealous of my holiday.’

‘It sounds like it is because it is exactly that,’ he grabbed a handful of chips.

We had gone for burgers and chips this week; some sort of deal Oli had said.

‘Seriously though,’ he said. ‘You’ve needed a holiday for years so enjoy it.’

I smiled back and watched the T.V. Some women had started fighting.

‘Yes! Get her!’

I almost laughed at Oli as he kicked his feet up in the air.

‘I told you she needed a slap!’ he whacked my arm with excitement. ‘She got what was coming to her.’

I just nodded, wincing as my arm was whacked a few more times. My phone sang out. Oli looked at me, raising an eyebrow. Oh. It really did go off then. I gave Oli an apologetic look before getting my phone out.

‘Still cool about tomorrow? Is it before midday you want to meet?’

I smiled and replied to Charlie that midday was fine, that I started work in the evening time.

‘Alex?’

‘No, Charlie,’ I replied to Oli, not looking up from finishing off my text message.

‘Ah,’ he simply said and carried on watching the T.V. He then got up and lit a vanilla candle and gave a loud sniff.

A commercial came on and I slid my phone away back in my pocket.

Oli cleared his throat and flopped himself back on the couch.

‘Nathanial.’

I almost snapped my head up to face him. What was wrong?

‘I, um,’ he cleared his throat again. ‘You and Charlie are okay now, right?’

‘Yes,’ I nearly hesitated with my reply. ‘Why?’

‘Nothing, I just, um,’ he tapped his foot. ‘How does Alex feel about you two?’

I frowned, ‘What are you suggesting?’

‘I’m not suggesting anything!’

‘You assume Alex is jealous of Charlie? Charlie is straight and Alex is a God. I mean they aren’t best friends, but there aren’t any issues.’

‘Right, right,’ Oli stared forward at the T.V as the show came back on.

The air was still in the room as the T.V chattered on with its drama.

‘Why are you asking all this anyway?’ I asked. ‘You think they don’t get on?’

Oli muted the T.V and turned to me, ‘The other night when we were at Charlies.’

Crap, did he see me close my eyes when he fell on my lap? Did I do something weird? Wait, those two were pretty close that night.

‘Did something happen between you two when I was asleep?’

‘What?’ Oli looked startled. ‘No. I mean Charlie is a pretty nice guy, but I prefer David.’

‘You guys official now?’

‘Official as you and Alex!’ he smiled. He shook his head, and muttered, ‘You know we slept over on the couches? At Charlie's?’

‘I wasn’t too drunk to remember that,’ I teased, my stomach churning heavy nervous knots.

‘I, um,’ he glanced away. ‘I woke up in the middle of the night and I could, ah, um.’ He cleared his throat once more and said in a blunt tone, ‘You were moaning if you know what I mean.’

Oh. Ah.

My face was burning but I looked away and shrugged, ‘I must have been missing Alex.’

‘That’s the thing,’ Oli’s tone was quiet. ‘It wasn’t Alex’s name you were moaning.’

My heart almost stopped, I could feel my body pulsing, the air was like cement in my lungs. I felt like Oli has ripped out one of my organs and left me naked and exposed.

‘Oh,’ My voice almost croaked.

‘I mean, I thought I had misheard you at first, but, yeah,’ said Oli. I looked back at him and we were both looking at each other, nervous.

It was like he was holding the bleeding organ out to me to stare at, waiting for my reply.

I replied, ‘Well, um, that is weird. I actually, aha, I actually can’t remember what I was dreaming about.’

‘You did leave quite early,’ he paused. ‘Dude, you know you can talk to me about these things. It will be between us. Won’t judge you.’

‘See, you are turning into me already,’ Jake hissed in my ear.

‘You take beautiful things and ruin them,’ hissed another voice.

‘Ruin. Destroy’

I shook my head, scratching my ear hard, as if that will help stop the noises, ‘I know it was weird, me moaning his name, but I don’t have feelings for Charlie, I never have really, even when he kissed me that time. I am just as confused as you are. I don’t really know what else to say about it.’

Oli just nodded and turned to the T.V. He held his finger on the volume button.

Without turning his head, he said to me, his voice quiet, ‘By the way, please don’t overthink this. But there was a reason I woke up that night. The fridge was opened in the kitchen. Think Charlie was making a sandwich. He wasn’t in there long though.’

The volume went up and I stared in horror at the screen.

Charlie heard me moan out his name? His living room and kitchen were very close to each other, in fact the door between them was never shut. He heard me moaning. How could I face him tomorrow? Oli said he wasn’t in there long, perhaps he didn’t hear me? But he must have. That stupid dream. Why did Oli bring this up now?

I shrugged, took an inbreath and smirked at Oli, ‘So you and David are officially dating now? Don’t know how he puts up with you.’

***

‘Scene end and done!’ he typed quick on the keyboard.

I gave a gentle blow over my hot coffee. ‘Still can’t believe you are wearing a shirt. Mr. Fancy.’

‘Can’t a guy dress up for a coffee house editing,’ he winked back at me, resting back on the chair pulling his sleeves up. ‘It’s new. Got a date later.’

The grin was still on my face, I nudged him, ‘Well, she will be impressed with your shirt.’

I blew more over my coffee and took a sip, the warmness soothing my October cold face.

When I first came into the café, the first thing Charlie said to me was that he was happy that my black eye was almost gone and my cold was pretty much gone too. I had almost forgot about both.

I watched him save the word document and email it to himself. I said nothing. The gentle chatter and clinks of the coffee place tinkered around us.

‘A Nigeran prince wants some money again, eh?’ he remarked over his shoulder to me. ‘I thought the last batch I sent him was enough.’

I gave a little laugh.

He stopped smiling and turned back to the laptop. Did I make it awkward just then?

‘Why are you so awkward all the damn time?’ hissed Jake. ‘Can’t you just be normal. Normal.’

‘Freak.’

I blurted out, ‘So, um, pretty pleased with how we ended that scene, with her taking ownership of the fortune? It’s pretty cool we were able to write two seasons already.’

I almost winced at myself, repeating the word ‘pretty’. As if I was not a writer and not able to come up with other words. Better words. Better sentences.

He didn’t say anything.

‘The Nigeran prince could feature in our story,’ I tried again.

‘You’ve been quiet this week, everything okay?’ he stared at the screen.

He used to be a jerk. Now I was being a jerk. I needed to own up.

‘Aw, come on, you don’t want to be like me?’ sneered Jake. ‘Remember, how everybody loved me. Loved me. Not you.’

‘Yes, I, um, I am sorry I left like that the other day,’ I said. ‘That wasn’t. I mean, um. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to get quiet on you.’

He smiled at me and kept his eyes on me. He heard me that night. He knew why I left. This was weird.

‘That is okay. I know how important Sunday mornings are to you Christians,’ he said, clicking on his emails. He sipped his coffee.

‘Yeah,’ I merely replied. I got an earful of mom for not going again that day.

‘I am sorry Charlie,’ I meant every word I said.

‘You know, my bosses would love this,’ he commented as he scribbled down some notes in his small book.

‘Yeah,’ is all I could say. I gave a small grin to the statement as if I were grinning at a hopeful child.

He waved his hand to me, ‘Come here for a second.’

Leaning next to him more, I tried to peer at the screen.

‘What you doing? Come closer,’ he dragged my chair close to him, it scraped along the floor, getting a few snatched glimpses from nearby people. He pulled me closer; our legs and arms were touching. He was so warm.

‘Look at this!’ he tapped the screen with his finger.

‘That isn’t good for your screen,’ I croaked. He gave me a weird look. ‘Well. It’s not.’

‘Read,’ he ordered, clicking onto the email.

I scanned it.

What?

I paused. I didn’t know what to say. A job at his place of work.

‘You don’t have to go for it,’ he said. ‘I just thought this would be better than your current situation. All you got to do is fill out this form and send in your CV and boom, you will be working as an actual writer, helping write shows.’

‘Ha,’ I tilted my head. ‘That is true.’ I still didn’t know what to say. ‘Charlie.’

‘I can give you the email and you can send your CV in. I mean, you might not get in, but you have a good shot and.’

Throwing an arm over his shoulder, I gave him a squeeze.

He laughed, patting my hands away, ‘Get off, idiot!’

I laughed back, sliding my hands onto his back and giving him a pat, ‘I can’t thank you enough.’

‘You haven’t got the job yet,’ he grinned. ‘But this guy advertising it, he is the main guy, he is the head of the programme. I told him to email me any writing jobs going at my place for a while before they go out properly and finally this propped up. You have first dibs on this before anyone else. I mean, it’s all about who you know right.’

He was looking for a while?

‘You want to be on the writing panel yourself?’

‘Oh, I couldn’t join in on those nerds. I am more an editor than a writer. I pick up scripts after and dazzle them. I just need some monkey like you to put words to paper,’ he stuck his tongue out at me.

Ha.

‘I’ll apply for it when I get in,’ I said, shuffling my own papers into my backpack.

‘If you want, you can forward me your CV and I could put a word in for you.’

‘Oh no, I would rather just apply for the job myself.’

‘You can do; I am just giving you an extra boost. I can vouch for you.’

I shook my hands, ‘That’s too much. I want to be equal to the other candidates.’

He pulled a face, ‘Equal? You don’t get far playing nice in this game, Nathan.’

‘Nathanial! What you mean, dog eat dog world and all that bull?’

He tapped his nose.

I sighed, ‘Okay, fine. Fine. I will send you it. It’s really cool, you know, for you to do it. Like. Really nice of you. Thank you.’

‘Well, you’re my friend and your face can only take so many hits from Robertson’ he drank the rest of his coffee. ‘I’ll send in this script while I am at it. Why not? Could be a hit. You got talent, I got contacts.’

‘You have talent too, this is a team effort,’ I replied.

Before he could say anything back, a woman’s voice said, ‘Excuse me, are you Charlie Conray?’

Bowing my head down, I smiled as I heard Charlie reply, ‘Why yes, I am sweetheart.’

                                                           ***

‘Okay, I am going in now. Think I found the place.’

‘You’ll be fine. Okay,’ Alex’s voice was calm, it was so reassuring. ‘I will stay on with you while you have a look round for them.’

‘I mean said I told him I would come along to hang out with him and his friends, and I can’t back out now.’

‘No, you are just making excuses so you can talk to me, right?’ he teased.

Laughing into the phone, I pushed the wooden pub door open. Heavy chatter and glass clinking against each other were followed by the smell of stale alcohol.

‘Anyone, yet?’

I scanned the room. I was about to reply when I heard Charlie’s laughing.

Walking forward towards the noise, I slid past some people, phone still close to my ear.

‘I think I found them. I will leave you to your evening. Thank you for…’

I saw Charlie sitting in a booth with three other guys. He caught my eye, in midst laughter and his face beamed brighter.

I could barely hear Alex.

‘Sorry, it got loud in here,’ I lied into the phone. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, Nathanial. Have a great time!’

Angry nerves slapped me upside the head as I put it back into my pocket and walked towards the group.

What was I doing? I didn’t understand. I wanted Alex. I was attracted to Alex. Alex was perfect.

‘You made it!’ Charlie moved over to make room for me to sit down, patting the red booth. Nodding at his friends, I was suddenly aware that I didn’t get a drink at the bar.

Damn it, why didn’t I go to the bar first?

‘Right,’ Charlie downs the last of his beer bottle, before pointing it at his friends.

He pointed to a guy with a ginger beard and balding head, ‘Nathanial, Lars.’

I nodded at him again.

Now I was nodding a lot. Coming from the guy who couldn’t think of a better description for something other than ‘like’ or ‘pretty’ in a sentence.

Charlie pointed to the next guy, with a full thick black beard and arms full of tattoos, ‘Paul.’

He moved onto the next guy, a skinny faced guy with a full locks of hair brown curls. ‘And this is Big Sam.’

I nodded once more and added, ‘Sup!’

They all nodded at me and took a sip of their beers. I tried not to wiggle too much against the hard seat. The T.V echoed beside us up on the wall, the footballer missed the ball and everyone on the table gave an almighty groan.

‘Absolute joke,’ Paul shook his head.

‘I don’t get it, I thought he was being transferred,’ said Big Sam, grabbing a handful of nuts from the table.

‘Get off the pitch, moron!’ Lars hollered at the T.V.

Charlie noticed me being quiet and nudged me, ‘You follow the games?’

Two minutes here and I felt like an outcast idiot. Stupid idea to come out, I already had nothing in common with these guys.

‘Nathan?’

‘Nathanial,’ I automatically said.

I shook my head. Um, what could I say? ‘I don’t watch the games myself, but my family are hardcore Arsenal fans.’

‘Arsenal fans?!’ Paul scoffed.

Oh, great. Enemy teams?

‘To be fair, any game by Arsenal this season is better than this crap here,’ Big Sam waved at the T.V.

Charlie nodded and winced at the T.V, ‘That the new player, Samson? Are you being for real? What are they thinking, he just keeps dropping on the floor.’

‘Just like Sandra did at Lar’s office!’ called Paul.

The guys mimicked ‘oohs’ all around much to the annoyance of Lars, who grinned bright red and adverted his eye gaze to his drink.

He drank a little, muttering, ‘Screw you guys.’

The three guys burst out laughing. I smiled, watching from the outside, not wanting to ruin anything.

Drink. I would get a drink.

‘Pathetic,’ sneered Jake. ‘All guys like sports. Why can’t you be like normal guys?’

Nudging Charlie out the way, I pointed to the bar. He smiled and carried on chatting with his friends.

Waiting at the bar, I held in a sigh. I wished Oli was there. He was so better at this then me, he would have joined in the conversation, made jokes, got everyone laughing. He was so at ease in his own skin.

I would have a few drinks. Stay a little bit. After all Charlie did invite me out. But now I know there was a reason I never got invited to the cool kids table at school.

                                                                        ***

The night took a surprising turn. After my first beer and watching the guys laugh and poke fun at each other, a commercial came on advertising Charlie’s show.

‘Boo!’ Lars shouted at the T.V.

I burst out laughing alongside everyone else. I caught Charlie’s eye and gave a sheepish shrug.

‘Take it off the air!’ Paul also called out, making everyone laugh more.

Charlie was still looking unimpressed, but he turned to me and asked, ‘You apply for that job yet?’

‘I am not going to,’ I said. His face dropped. ‘I am kidding, man! I applied the other day.’

Charlie beamed, ‘Good. Good.’

‘You know he calls all writers on that show monkeys, right?’ Paul leaned forward to me.

‘Isn’t everyone a monkey to him?’ I merely replied.

‘I am the best,’ said Charlie, drinking his beer.

‘You like Korean pop music!’ I exclaimed.

The guys were quiet, staring at me. Did I cross some sort of line?

Lars broke into a smile and said, ‘So, Charlie finally made you watch that crap?’

‘Hey!’ Charlie raised his finger. ‘It is amazing television entertaining of high profiles.’

‘I mean I am gay and even that’s too gay for me,’ I said.

The guys burst out laughing.

‘Quote of the night!’ said Big Sam. ‘He got you ‘Knight’ man!’

Charlie pulled down his sleeve more, hiding the tattoo and wiggled his eyebrows at me. ‘Thanks, Monkey.’

‘If you become a writer for him,’ said Paul. ‘Do really crappy lines for him. Make everyone sound amazing and make Charlie sound like the idiot he is.’

‘My jokes are my own material,’ retorted Charlie. ‘Well. Some of them.’

‘Please, you stole that Bear and zebra joke from me when we were kids,’ said Big Sam, rolling his eyes. He downed the rest of his drink and slid out of the booth. ‘Anyone want anything from the bar?’

‘Yeah!’ Charlie exclaimed a little too loud. He patted his pockets and gives Big Sam a twenty-pound note. ‘Shots all round!’

‘This is why we hang out with him,’ Paul nodded at Charlie.

I grinned, ‘Well, that comedy money goes somewhere charitable.’

The table laughed again, and I grinned. Charlie laughed alongside the two guys and patted me on the back, rubbing his hand between my shoulder blades. I grinned. The seat felt so much more comfortable.

                                                                          ***

‘Five, four, three, two,’ we all chanted. The final whistle blew on the T.V and we all roared along, clinking our glasses.

‘How was the game for you, Nathanial?’ grinned Big Sam.

‘Actually, boring at the beginning. Things turned up more though when they brought that Titus guy on.’

‘Oh, absolutely,’ said Big Sam while the other two murmured in agreement.

‘Can’t believe Liverpool nearly lost,’ Paul shook his head. ‘They were nearly destroyed in the first half. I don’t know what they are doing lately.’

‘They are also in need of a new goalie,’ agreed Charlie, resting his arm above the booth, above my head.

‘No wonder you are not into football much if your folks are all about Arsenal,’ Paul said to me.

I shook my head and grinned.

‘Says you, Paul,’ retorted Big Sam. ‘You only started liking Manchester a few months ago after I made you watch a game.’

‘Don’t remind me of my past shames,’ said Paul, sticking his tongue out. ‘We never speak of it. Never!’

‘Excuse me, gentleman,’ a blonde woman with revealing white top with the bar logo appeared in front of us. She was cradling a camera.

‘Excuse you,’ whistled Lars. None of us said anything to back him up and he coughed, going red in the face.

‘Lame!’ Paul boomed into his hand in a low voice.

The girl smiled. I recognised that smile. Plastic smile. I’d notice one anywhere. I tried to give her a sympathetic grin.

‘Enjoy the game? Fancy a photo?’ she asked.

‘You bet, sweetheart!’ called Charlie. We all learned in, looking towards the lens. She lifted her eye off the camera for a moment.

‘I can’t get you all in, mind getting closer?’ she asked.

‘Of course!’ Charlie called, again. ‘Come on, guys!’

He put one arm around Paul and one around my shoulders. I could feel his fingers gripping onto my shoulder. His arm was so warm and bare. My breath was caught up in my throat. Just concentrate and smile, concentrate and smile.

‘Thanks guys!’ she said, putting her camera back around her neck and walking around to us. She showed us the photo she has taken. We were all generic smiling white guys around a table.

‘Ha, Lars you look like an orange idiot,’ clucked Big Sam while Paul laughed.

‘I think you all look wonderful,’ the girl teased, her grin wide. ‘Anyone want a keyring?’

The guys shook their heads.

‘I will, thanks,’ said Charlie, nodding at her. She nodded back and walked away to get him a keyring with our picture on it.

‘Can’t believe you are getting one, Charlie,’ Paul pulled a face.

Charlie shrugged, ‘You will be jealous when it arrives.’

They talked and teased each more. I was about to join the conversation when I realised that Charlie had removed his arm from around Paul’s shoulders, but he still had his other arm trailed over mine. Like he forgot to remove it. Or it felt too natural to move away.

‘Whatever you tell yourself, Greystone,’ giggled Jake.

***

It was midnight, and the bar was closing. The shots were still burning my throat and I felt a merry buzz of energy and Jake was gone. This was a good night.

‘We should absolutely go to this new place down the street,’ stated Paul.

‘Which street,’ Charlie teased him. ‘You always say, the street. But which one?’

Paul wafted his hand away from him and just replied, ‘It does music, we could dance a bit.’

‘The only new place I know that’s opened up is Junes,’ shrugged Big Sam.

‘Yes!’ hollered Paul, slamming his empty glass down. ‘Junes. Let’s go there!’

Peeling himself away from the booth, he stumbled out, adamant to go.

‘But where is it?’ Charlie almost exasperated.

‘I know where it is,’ said Big Sam, swiping his black jacket up into his arms. ‘Let’s go!’

‘Yes! Yes! Woo!’ chanted Paul, raising his arms up in the air.

Laughing, Lars caught up him, putting his arm around his shoulders and steadied Paul.

‘Haha, they are going off without us,’ I grinned to Charlie as we threw our coats on, getting out of the booth.

He smiled at me, ‘We will catch up, don’t you worry!’

He called to the barman who was collecting glasses. ‘See you later!’

The barman nodded back, ‘Have a good night, Charlie!’

We ended up walking twenty minutes to this club, with Lars and Paul almost skipping half the way there in a gleeful manner.

I walked behind with Big Sam and Charlie who roped me into their conversation about beards.

‘I know I can’t grow a beard, so I don’t try,’ said Big Sam. ‘You are lucky dude, a natural grower.’

A natural grower? Charlie burst out into sniggers.

I couldn’t help but grin, ‘Natural grower?’

‘We’re here!’ Paul shouted to us. The building he was standing in front had dark purple lights shining. The vibrating beat was almost pouring out the door.

‘No queue yet, get in quick!’ Paul shouted again before diving into the bar.

‘Come on, guys!’ grinned Lars before joining him.

Big Sam laughed and ran in to join them.

‘Come on, Nathanial,’ Charlie nudged me before running off. I rushed after him.

Pushing the door open, the heat almost shoved me back. So many bodies in there. All were dancing, swaying. The music was a deep vibration in the air; the lights were scattering everywhere.

A swam of excited teenagers were behind me and rushed past; I almost tumbled in their hurricane. Crap. It really was dark here. The strobe lights danced around on random people. I couldn’t see any of the guys.

‘Nathan!’ Charlie pushed past some people towards me. I could barely hear his shouts. He waved at me. My tight chest relaxed, and I went forward towards him.

He gestured to follow him and turned around. He was almost sandwiched in with a group of dancers. I could barely squeeze in. Glancing back at me, he reached behind and grabbed my hand. I didn’t have time to think before he pulled me through the crowd. His hand was wrapped around mine tight, and the strobe lights flashed on my face. I squinted and I let him guide me, not even daring to let go.