IceBerg - 4. Chapter 4

It was the second time Charlie Conray and I met up. Same café, same time.

Walking up to the doorway, I wedged into the doorway, shaking the rain droplets off my umbrella. I gritted my teeth and looked out on the rain bouncing all over the cities, the people rushing by, their heels splashing puddles against the pavement. Coughing, I turned in. I thought that cold was nothing; seems like it was getting a bit worse.

He was on the same table as last time. I caught his eye, his face beamed, and he waved me over. I gave a small wave back and walked over, shuffling past people in chairs with my dumpy laptop bag, my waterproof coat scratching against the chairs.

I sneezed as I got to the table. Yes, cold time again.

‘Bless you,’ he patted my back. ‘Still got the ill?’

His hand lingered on for a few moments while I sat next to him, taking my laptop bag off my shoulder and unzipping my coat. I placed my laptop on the table.

He took his hand away, and pointed to a steaming cup on the table, ‘I didn’t know if you wanted anything, and I thought the drink will make you feel better if you weren’t feeling a hundred percent.’

‘Thanks,’ I replied, turning the laptop on.

Grabbing the cup, I took a sip. I grimaced.

‘Sugar?’ he placed a few packets into my hands. He lowered his tone, ‘I recommend a few.’

We both watched my laptop come to life as I poured in three sugar packets into the cup.

‘Bit weird how he was when you told him you were gay.’

Dammit, AJ. Why did he have to bring that up in the chat?

Charlie and I said nothing for a few minutes. The café clinkered on, hushed chatting, teaspoons clinking. The rain pattering against the window and the door kept opening and shutting.

‘Okay,’ Charlie said. ‘So, are you ready? I thought we could work on the first scene, which I think would end about her seeing the photos she can’t explain.’

‘Oh, the um,’ I scanned the document. ‘The line ‘The photographs scattered, flying from her hands, ‘who were these people?’.’

‘Yes, that’s it. What we need to do is,’ he paused.

A phone was vibrating. Holding a finger up, he went into his pocket and fished it out.

‘Sorry’ he mouthed to me and turned away slightly.

‘Karen, I am busy, this needs to,’ I heard him sigh. ‘Okay, okay.’ His voice raised a little. ‘Alright, Karen! I get it. I am busy right now. I will call you later and we will sort this out? What? No, I don’t know what time I will finish, I will ring you when you ring. Okay. Bye.’

Turning back to me, he smiled, but his eyes looked tired.

‘Sorry about that,’ he tried to laugh, shaking his head.

I merely nodded from the screen, ‘I hope that wasn’t anything too stressful.’

He exhaled out a huge breath, ‘I will deal with her later. Just some confusion over the bills.’

‘Ex?’ I couldn’t catch myself in time to not say anything.

Going under the table, he took out some papers from his bag pack. He ruffled them onto the desk and said, ‘We don’t live together anymore.’

He didn’t say anything else about it and I wasn’t going to push the subject.

I cleared my throat, reached over for my drink and said, ‘Right. How do we convert the first paragraph?’

***

We ended up cutting a lot, which was very frustrating. I was already in a bad mood after seeing another rejection letter in the post that morning. Along with feeling disgusting with the sneezing.

‘You look fed up,’ he teased.

‘No,’ I replied, rubbing my beard. ‘I am grateful for the criticism, it’s good for creativity,’

‘Still feels like crap, though?’

‘Well, this is the profession I chose,’ I made a very loud sneeze out of nowhere making Charlie jump.

‘Damn, well, that was unexpected,’ he laughed, patting my back. ‘You, okay?’

His hand lingered again.

‘No, I am fine, I am just feeling crappy.’

Ugh, now I felt like a depressed teen.

‘Just pretend you are fine, why can’t you do that, Nathanial?’ gnarled Jake.

No. I had gone a whole day without hearing him. Not now.

‘Sorry,’ I blurted out. ‘I. I just got another rejection letter today and I have this cold so.’

‘I’ll get you some soup.’

‘What?’ I blinked at him. ‘Don’t be stupid. I’ll take some medicine when I get back.’

‘You need something,’

Before I could argue, he stood up and walked over to the counter.

I frowned. I didn’t get this, why he was buying me stuff. I was not poor. I could get it myself. Did he think I was so poor that I needed hand me downs or something? I earned a decent wage. Decent-ish. I mean I got by. I was not struggling or anything and I hadn’t wanted to eat anything that day anyway.

Slamming down another cup in front of me, he saw me looking, and said, ‘No soup. Herbal tea. It’ll be good for you.’

Thanks, Doctor. I managed not to say that out loud. I placed my second drink next to my other cup which I had barely touched.

He was staring at me again. I kept catching him in the corner of my eye.

‘Cool beard,’ he remarked.

I almost smirked, raising an eyebrow. Without thinking I stroked my beard with my forefinger and thumb. He reached over and tugged slightly at it. I froze.

‘I wish I could grow one, I just end up with stubble and looking like a bum,’ he said, taking his hand away.

I was still frozen. The air was leaving my body and not coming back, my mouth started to dry up. Like a desperate fool, I reached for the herbal tea and took a small swig. It took all my effort to not spit up the lukewarm sweetness.

His phone vibrated again. He raised an eyebrow at me; his eyes softened with apology. He turned away to answer it.

‘Karen, I am still busy, you literally called five minutes ago. Karen, I will sort it, okay. Please just,’ he sounded almost desperate. ‘Stop ringing me today. I will call you back, I promise.’

Waving the phone in the air, he then slid it back into his pocket and said, ‘I am really sorry about that.’

‘No worries, man.’

‘She’s been like this since the split. We are still sorting bills out from out last house.’

Oh. Well. Definitely straight. I am reading everything wrong. Yet I was still trying to breathe properly. I saw that his eyes had dark shadows under them, and he was trying to hold back from frowning.

I placed a supportive hand on his shoulder and his head shot up.

‘I’m sorr…’ No, I couldn’t say that. ‘It sucks, breaking up. If you need to talk to her, I don’t mind.’

Trying to shrug off my hand, he snorted and said, ‘Pft, don’t worry about that. We got this to do.’

He forced a smile.

I didn’t take my hand away from his shoulder. I squeezed it and then let go.

Nudging him, I said, ‘Perhaps we can invent a character for you to act.’

‘For me?’ he said bemused, nudging back.

                                                                           ***

Karen was not brought up again for the next hour or so as we messed around with a character for Charlie Conray to play. Just for fun.

‘Quit calling me Charlie Conray, it’s just Charlie,’ he said, almost tapping me over the head.

I laughed at him and continued typing away.

‘All done?’ the waitress asked me, leaned over, tray on her hip.

‘Yes, thank you,’ Charlie talked for me.

I should have felt annoyed, but I was kind of grateful.

Interactions were always so awkward. By some miracle I had managed to drink both disgusting drinks and not be any sicker than I already was.

I pretended to still stare at the laptop, giving a little nod to the waitress as she scooped up the cups in a swift bored speed, no hesitations. I knew that speed. She had been worked here a long time. Half of me wanted to give her the nod, the look of ‘I know how you feel.’ But she might have misinterpreted that, or worse, thought I was coming onto her.

The café was getting quieter now, more people were leaving and the smell of fresh bagels and coffee was getting strong.

I turned to Charlie, ‘How did you come across the website anyway? You didn’t actually answer me last time.’

That was a pretty good question, I thought, almost smiled to myself. That was my voice, not Jake. Jake was gone for now.

‘Why wouldn’t I find it? It’s good.’

‘Well, it’s clearly not that good, I’ve already lost count of the rejection letters and then todays one,’ I rolled my eyes. The waitress walked away.

‘Nathan, you do realise that every single success story comes from a hundred rejections, right? I bet the people who turned down Harry Potter are still kicking themselves,’ he smiled at me. ‘You can’t let it get to you.’

‘Easy said than done when it’s a year of rejections,’ I muttered.

‘I got rejected for two years before I got into Comedy shows. I was doing so many local stand ups, I lost count.’

I looked at him, sideways.

‘It’s true. I actually auditioned when I was twenty-five, I … what?’

‘Nothing, nothing,’ I almost raised an eyebrow.

He raised an eyebrow back at me.

I replied in a hushed tone, ‘I didn’t realise you were older than me.’

‘I’m only twenty-eight,’ he retorted.

I laughed, ‘You are so old, Charlie Con...’ I nearly slipped up there.

‘Shut up Dollface, how old are you, seventeen?’

‘It would kill you if it I was, wouldn’t it?’

We both laughed. He patted my arm and rested the side of his head against my shoulder. It was just for a split second before he raised his head up. I bit my bottom lip and glanced down.

Guess Charlie Conray was a physically affectionate person.

Right?

‘I’m twenty-five,’ I said, my throat a bit tight.

‘I picked your website because I don’t think there many gay or lesbian or ethnic writers out there, like I said,’ he said. ‘Every writer is so generic and boring and white and straight. I looked at a few websites and came across yours and it just struck me that’s all. People want something different, and you provide it.’

‘Oh. Thank you, Charlie, I.’

‘Excuse me!’

Looking up, we both saw a young excited woman, clutching at her phone.

‘Are you Charlie Conray?’

I clamped my mouth shut while Charlie charmed her with a smile and replied, ‘Yes, I am, actually. Do you want a photo?’

Nodding with such energy and excitement, the girl tried to come around the side of the table, but it was a bit too tight for her.

I got out of my chair and pulled it out for her.

She smiled at me and slammed herself into the seat and got close with Charlie.

I watched as they smiled, Charlie tilting his head, the woman beaming with a flash of white teeth, the woman taking a selfie with her phone camera.

‘So stupid, Nathanial,’ muttered Jake. ‘Forgot you were talking to someone famous today. A rising popular star.’

He was right. I had forgotten that I wasn’t talking to an equal. I should have known my place instead of being swept away.

Jake began to laugh. It was so loud I was surprised no one else could possibly hear it. I heard the till machine clicking, I looked over and there was no one at the till machine. The girl who had been there was cleaning cups at the sink. It was almost dead in the café now, barely anyone in.

‘Come on, Nathanial, be normal, now,’ laughed Jake.