The Summer of the Selfless - 9. Chapter 9

Daniele awoke early to the fresh morning light. It suffused the walls of the tent with a gentle, emerald-green glow.

He turned onto his side and watched his friend for a while. Giacomo slumbered on, his chest rising and falling gently. He lay facing Daniele, one arm tucked under his pillow and one lying loosely by his side. Daniele’s eyes roved over his delicate eyelashes, his slightly mussed hair and his bare shoulders poking out from underneath the blanket they had shared overnight. To Daniele’s lovestruck eyes, he seemed perfect in every way.

As slowly and quietly as he could, Daniele slid out of bed and unearthed his wristwatch, which told him it was just six o’clock in the morning. Donning a clean pair of underpants, he unzipped the tent doors and stepped out into the fresh morning air.

After several hours of darkness, the balmy heat of the evening had finally given way to a pleasant cool. The dry grass bristled pleasingly under his bare feet, and the low, easterly sun warmed his skin. The campfire had burned out during the night and lay dark and dormant at the centre of the rocky plateau. He gazed around at the chestnut woods for a while, watching the small birds come and go about their morning business.

He thought about the night they had just shared. Neither of them had expected to go that far. He glanced down at his left hand, which had always been his dominant hand. It had certainly led the way last night.

I’ll never wash it again.

He giggled slightly. He wasn’t being serious.

Daniele scratched his head thoughtfully. He certainly felt different this morning… less of a child, somehow. You only had your first time once… did he regret it?

Did I give too much away…?

There were quiet footsteps behind him and then a pair of arms closed around his chest. Daniele smiled as Giacomo laid his head on his shoulder, leaning into him.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” the dark-eyed boy murmured.

Daniele stared into space for a moment, slightly stunned. To hear those words… it was surely a dream come true.

He closed his hands around the other boy’s and gently parted his arms. Free of the embrace, he turned to face him.

“I’d love that,” he replied. “But… I think we need to slow down.”

“I’d be cool with that,” Giacomo said. “I think we went a bit crazy, didn’t we?”

Daniele nodded. “Cuddles only from now on.”

“And… maybe a kiss or two?” Giacomo asked hopefully.

Daniele smiled. “Yeah… maybe a few of those.”

Giacomo glanced down at his own mostly bare body. “Clothes, then?” he said morosely.

Daniele snickered and nodded. “Clothes.” He extended a hand, briefly brushing the other boy’s chest with the back of a finger. “I can’t believe it used to freak me out to see this.”

Giacomo laughed. “Crap, has the magic gone out of our relationship already?”

The dark-eyed boy retreated to the tent. Moments later, he popped Daniele’s t-shirt, shorts, socks and trainers out through the flaps. Daniele reached for the clothes and began to put them on, his thoughts already turning to breakfast.

* * *

Giacomo reappeared in his new shirt, and they sat close together around the ashy remains of the campfire, sharing a simple breakfast of green apple juice and a couple of Patrizia’s lemon croissants.

The mood between them was easier than it had been in weeks. Daniele wondered what had happened to the restless energy that had so driven him before they had kissed. Was it gone for good, or would it return once they had spent some time apart?

Was this what love felt like? Young as he was, it was hard to be sure.

When they had finished, they bagged up the dishes and glasses from dinner, then made sure the campfire was completely extinguished. They had some fun forcing the air out of the airbed together, then they packed their rucksacks, collapsed the tent and forced it back into the tent bag.

That done, Daniele sent a short text message to his father.

‘We’re heading back down.’

‘I’m just having breakfast,’ Paolo replied. ‘I’ll be with you in about 30 minutes.’

With everything packed, they paused for a minute to cool down. In the hour or so since they had woken up, the sun had already climbed much higher into the sky and its strength was mounting. They sat together under the shade of the chestnut trees.

“Thanks, Dani,” Giacomo said.

“For what?” Daniele asked.

The dark-eyed boy smiled. “For finally letting me in.”

Daniele chewed his lip thoughtfully. “I don’t think I could have done anything else. I tried to be sensible, but… maybe I’ve just liked you for too long.” He uttered a slightly disbelieving laugh. “When I realised you liked me too, it kinda blew my mind.”

“Mind blown or not, I’m glad you know.” Giacomo shouldered his rucksack. “Ready to go back to reality?”

Daniele sighed. “I guess so.”

Carrying the tent bag between them, they began the slow trudge back along the mountain ridge. Daniele was glad his mother had insisted they get a lift; now they were actually walking, he couldn’t imagine toting the heavy tent bag all the way back down the mountain steps and into the centre of town without help.

They located the steep, earthen path back down through the forest and began the tricky descent, looking out for snakes, loose soil and treacherous, ankle-twisting rocks. Somehow, going down was even harder than going up had been – but at least, in the shade of the trees, the morning air was still pleasantly mild.

Up on top of the mountain, the whole thing had seemed like a strange and wonderful dream, but as they descended through the woods Daniele began to come back down to earth. By the time they had returned to the main mountain trail and the first houses of Ravello were beginning to come into view, the real consequences of their situation were beginning to impinge a little more on his consciousness.

“If we’re officially an item,” he ventured, “we’re going to have to start telling people.”

The dark-eyed boy gave him a curious glance. “Are you sure?”

Daniele nodded. “I don’t want to lie.”

“I’m fine with that,” Giacomo replied. He smiled. “It should be fun.” He snickered. “Although… I don’t think it’ll be much of a surprise to Emilia and Laura.”

Daniele smiled, too, at the memory of their reaction, but part of him was troubled. He wasn’t sure the other boy was right to make so light of it.

Emilia and Laura must already have drawn their own conclusions, and Luca had made his suspicions about them clear. They would suffer no judgement from Toto, Michele, Gianni or Angelo – Daniele was sure of that. Likewise, his parents had already made clear that they loved him no matter who he liked… although, he thought, he might wait until Giacomo had moved back home before letting that particular cat out of the bag.

It was Marco he was worried about. Marco, who was probably on his way back from Rome this very morning, who had swallowed his own feelings to look after Daniele after the incident with Giacomo at the disco. Marco would have to be one of the first to know, but it wasn’t going to be easy.

* * *

Paolo arrived shortly after they reached the top of the mountain road. He found them standing at the low boundary wall, staring out over the lush Valle del Dragone, looking down on the twin settlements of Ravello and Scala and the distant blue sea beyond. Using the confined space at the top of the little road with the expertise that only a professional driver could have, he turned the taxi round and stepped out to help them load their gear into the boot.

“It looks like you two boys could do with a shower,” he said with a smile. “I’ll have you home in no time.”

“Actually, could you take us back to Giaco’s?” Daniele asked. “We can pack the camping stuff away, then we’ll walk home later.”

Paolo inclined his head. “All right,” he said. “If you prefer.”

They clambered into the back of the taxi and relaxed in silence as Paolo began the zig-zagging descent through the modest houses of the Monte neighbourhood. Vaguely, Daniele wondered which house was Luca’s, and whether he had seen Emilia since his revelation at the clearing.

“So, did you have a good time on the mountain?” Paolo asked.

Daniele nodded. “Yeah, it was… pretty special.”

Giacomo smiled. “A once in a lifetime experience,” he said.

Daniele elbowed him in the ribs, and the dark-eyed boy snickered.

Paolo chuckled. “Well, I’m sure you’ll get a chance to do it again, if you enjoyed it that much.”

Oh, Dio… did he have to say it like that?

Daniele watched as Giacomo screwed up his eyes in an effort not to laugh, before sending a brief, sideways glance in his direction, which almost set Daniele off, too.

As they descended the mountain, the road strayed out of the built-up area to take a gentler path, traversing the rocky cliffs overlooking the valley that led down to Minori. As the altitude dropped, so Daniele began to hear the first few cicadas of the day, scraping away in the bright sun that shone over the tops of the tree-crowned mountains beyond Maiori.

Soon, they had touched down on the main Naples road. Paolo took them back into town, flashed through the main road tunnel and then made the zig-zagging climb back up to the Toro, dropping them off at the end of the quiet, crazy-paved street that would lead them back to Giacomo’s apartment.

Daniele and Giacomo hopped out and retrieved their gear from the boot.

“Thanks for the lift, Papà,” Daniele said.

One tanned arm resting on the windowsill, Paolo nodded.

“No problem, champ,” he replied. “I’ll let Patrizia know everything went well, and I’ll see you this evening.”

The two boys walked the final few metres back to Giacomo’s apartment and returned the camping gear to its proper place at the back of the storage cupboard, then they spent a little while washing up the dinner things. Giacomo carefully returned the bottle of limoncello to the back of the drinks cabinet, and then they were ready to head home.

By now, they were both feeling soiled, sweaty and ready for a shower, but they still walked so close together they were almost touching, the boundaries between them, it seemed, inescapably altered by the events of the last couple of days. They descended the avenue of oleanders, still encumbered by their bulky rucksacks, which seemed to weigh them down even more as the heat of the day continued to rise.

Daniele wondered whether he should try holding the other boy’s hand again. The idea seemed less weird than it had a couple of days ago.

We should really tell our friends and family first…

All the same, he was still toying with the idea as they stepped out into the cathedral square; but then he came to a sudden halt, thrown, momentarily, by the sheer normality of it all.

“What’s up, Dani?” Giacomo asked.

The morning sun was shining down on the pine trees, and the cicadas were scraping away industriously in the foliage. All around them, the square bustled with visitors touring the shops or drinking coffee at the bars. The pigeons and stray cats were foraging as they always did, and the view across the valley to Scala shimmered in the sun.

It was a bit like being doused with a bucket of lukewarm water. Daniele had been acting as if the whole world had changed but, for most of the people that surrounded them now, it was just a day like any other. They were all too busy either living their daily lives or enjoying their summer holidays to care what went on between two teenage boys.

He frowned, wondering when he had become so engrossed in his own affairs that he had forgotten to look around him. Hadn’t his greatest strength always been his interest in other people?

“Uh-oh,” he murmured.

He had noticed that there was one pair of intense brown eyes that was very interested in the two of them. Toto had just waved Michele off outside the ancient stone gatehouse of the Villa Rufolo and, as he turned to head back towards his father’s shop, he had spotted them.

Daniele felt like a badger trapped in headlights as Toto crossed the square to meet them, a playful smile playing about his lips.

“Ah… ciao, Toto,” Daniele ventured as the older boy approached, trying vainly to look and sound as if it was perfectly normal to turn up in the square together first thing in the morning, tousled and dirty, with two heavy rucksacks.

Toto pointed determinedly to one of the stone benches under the umbrella pines.

“There. Now. Talk.”

Giacomo twisted his mouth ironically.

“Busted,” he whispered to Daniele.

Reluctantly, Daniele led the way across the sun-drenched square and sat down on the bench, lowering his rucksack onto the warm paving stones. Giacomo slid onto the seat beside him.

“Talk about what, Toto?” Daniele asked, as innocently as he could manage.

Toto folded his arms. “Let me see,” he said. “Heavy rucksacks, ruffled and unwashed hair, Giacomo wearing the same clothes as yesterday – something that never happens, shy of the apocalypse – you’ve been camping on the monte!” He shook his head incredulously. “You totally played me. You were completely pumping us for information, weren’t you?”

“Maybe a little,” Daniele admitted.

Toto looked at them a little more closely. “What I want to know is why. What aren’t you telling the rest of us?”

Daniele and Giacomo exchanged a cornered glance then, so only the older boy could see, Daniele took the other boy’s hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

Toto was silent for a couple of seconds, but then his composure cracked, and he broke out into a peal of delighted laughter. Daniele smiled uncertainly as the older boy fought to regain his self-control.

“So, when you said you’d been sleeping together,” Toto managed, turning his gaze on Giacomo, “you really meant – oh, Dio, I don’t want to know…!” His intense brown eyes flicked back to Daniele. “My little Dani… all grown up…”

“Not so little,” Giacomo remarked, prompting Daniele to punch him hard on the arm.

“Giaco!” he protested.

“Ouch,” the dark-eyed boy snickered.

Toto sobered up for a moment. “This isn’t all some game, is it?” he asked Giacomo. “Claudia did warn you not to break Dani’s heart.”

Giacomo shook his head. “No game,” he said earnestly.

Toto nodded his head approvingly. “Then I’m happy for you,” he said. The corner of his mouth quirked in a mischievous smile. “Hey… could I see just one little kiss?”

Daniele blanched. “Right here…? In public?”

Toto laughed and glanced over his shoulders. “Nobody’s watching,” he assured them.

Daniele and Giacomo turned towards each other and exchanged a short, sweet kiss on the lips, then they turned back to Toto with a slightly embarrassed giggle.

“Ohh, boy,” Toto said, with his arms still half-crossed and an intrigued thumbnail between his teeth. “You’re a lucky kid, Giacomo.”

Giacomo snickered and gave Daniele a sideways glance.

“See?” he whispered.

Toto sighed. “Well, I’d better go and break the news to Claudia,” he said. He shook his head sadly. “She’ll be devastated.”

“Maybe she’ll stop trying to kiss me now?” Daniele suggested hopefully.

Toto laughed. “Don’t count on it,” he replied, and he turned to go with a parting wave.

Daniele and Giacomo exchanged a glance and a secret smile. It seemed they had passed the first test.

* * *

By the time they had returned to Daniele’s home, their need for a shower had become desperate. Patrizia, it seemed, had already departed for her morning shift at the hotel.

“Do you want to go first?” Daniele offered, gratefully dropping his rucksack down next to his bedside table.

A sly smile crept onto Giacomo’s face. “Who needs to wait? Let’s just go in together.”

Daniele laughed. “You never stop, do you?”

So, they did, and many handfuls of shampoo bubbles were thrown or smeared.

Once they were showered and changed, they took some much-needed downtime, napping together on top of Daniele’s bedcovers for a little while. Woken by his phone alarm, they assembled a quick lunch of Parma ham and mozzarella panini, then they set out into the afternoon sun together. Although they were heading into the hottest part of the day, they both felt the need for some fresh air and a change of scene.

After some discussion, they settled on a return visit to the Villa Cimbrone. Scattering basking lizards as they went, they climbed Daniele’s secret shortcut route, a steep, quiet and secluded stairway that meandered between shady terraces and tucked-away houses.

Now that the first of Daniele’s friends had given them his blessing, everything seemed funnier and sillier than usual, somehow, and they laughed and joked their way up the steps, barely noticing the world around them.

At one point, they were startled out of their intense involvement with each other by a lizard that was scrabbling around in the floppiest, whippiest twigs of one of the overhanging trees. It seemed to be out of control, at risk of falling at any time.

“It’s in trouble!” Daniele said.

Half-jokingly, he held up a hand as if to catch it. Sensing its chance, the lizard let go, gambling its life on a slim chance of salvation. Startled, Daniele barely had time to register the rubbery weight of its sticky feet on his palm before it had sprung away again, first to Giacomo’s shoulder and then away to safety among the bushes.

“Dani the Hero strikes again,” Giacomo said, and then they were giggling like crazy, clutching each other for support.

They emerged back into civilisation by the vegetable garden at the top of the hill. Before long, they were stepping through the great wooden gates of the villa gardens.

Viola Rossi was at her accustomed place in the wooden ticket kiosk.

“Daniele!” she beamed, setting aside her phone as they approached. “And Giacomo the fashion model, too,” she added, with an amused glance at the dark-eyed boy’s fitted black t-shirt and carefully styled hair. Daniele gave the other boy a quick dig with his elbow, and they both giggled slightly.

“Buongiorno, signora,” he managed. “Come sta?”

Viola smiled. “Wonderful, thank you.” She breathed a sigh of relief as she put them through at half price. “Just the two of you today – thank goodness.”

She had just handed him the tickets when her phone gave a loud squawk, shattering the peace of the ancient courtyard and silencing the cicadas for a moment. She flushed scarlet and her hands flew to her mouth in shame.

“Dio!” she gasped. “Those silly cat videos! Please… can we pretend that didn’t just happen?”

“Ah – sure,” Daniele repeated, backing away slowly and pulling Giacomo along with him. “Ciao!”

Biting his lip hard, eyes streaming with the effort to contain himself, Daniele led the way at a run down a quiet side path lined with vivid green hydrangea bushes that were laden with pink flowers. When he was sure they were out of earshot, he sagged against one of the sturdy brick columns supporting the pergola that spanned the path and gave in to a paroxysm of slightly unhinged laughter.

“No way!” he panted. “I can’t even…!”

Giacomo snickered. “Are you all right, Dani?”

“Sorry,” Daniele managed. He looked up, unable to stop himself smiling. “I’m just too happy, I guess. I…” He sprang forward and pulled the other boy into a hug. “I love you.”

The words had sprung from his lips before he even knew he was going to say them. He wondered, for a moment, if he’d gone too far, but Giacomo gave an embarrassed laugh and hugged him back.

“C’mon, Dani,” he said. “You’ll make me blush.”

“About time, too,” Daniele mumbled into the back of his neck.

Giacomo snickered and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Same to you.”

They wandered through the central grove of pine trees, where Giacomo insisted on buying them both ice creams at the bar below the Terrace of Infinity. They ate them away from the crowds, on a quiet stairway that skirted the edge of the gardens, leading down towards the lower terraces. Shimmering in the afternoon sun, the lower of reaches of the Valle del Dragone unfolded far beneath them, heading down to the coast, backed by the inhospitable rocky crag that separated the two neighbouring coves at Amalfi and Atrani. Crowned by a dense jumble of pine and cypress trees, the crag led out to the ruins of the Torre dello Ziro, an old stone watchtower at the top of the cliff. At the head of the crag stood the ancient hill village of Pontone, seeming silent and peaceful from so far away. Above the village stood a towering rock cliff that Daniele and Giacomo, in their madness, had once climbed together, all the way up to Minuta, one of the higher, outlying hamlets of Scala. They had never quite equalled that adventure since, unless you counted tangling with Ettore Neri’s gang of amateur criminals.

“I still can’t believe we climbed that,” Daniele said, gesturing out at the cliff, which seemed impossibly tall and forbidding from a distance. “It’s like we thought we were indestructible or something.”

Giacomo grinned. “We are indestructible, aren’t we?” he joked. “Like superheroes.”

Daniele gave him a look. “Every superhero has their kryptonite.”

Giacomo smirked. “I know what yours is.”

Daniele flushed. “What do you…? Argh!”

With one deft movement, Giacomo had reached forward and dabbed his melting ice cream on the end of Daniele’s nose. He stared at the other boy in disbelief.

Giacomo shook his head sadly. “Cold ice cream. It saps your strength.”

They looked each other in the eyes for a couple of seconds, and then they were off and giggling again.

“Get it off me!” Daniele protested. He reached for his nose to wipe it away, but Giacomo brushed his hand aside and leaned in. Daniele backed away. “No, no no…!”

He yelped in disgust as Giacomo licked the ice cream away, then he had to nibble the side of a finger to keep from laughing again.

“You’re totally gross,” he grumbled.

Giacomo’s dark eyes danced at him. “And you love it,” he said with a smile.

* * *

When they had finished, they retreated to the lower terraces, where there were a few undeveloped spaces that were not open to visitors. With a preponderance of trees and scrub, they were quieter and shadier than the more formal parts of the gardens.

Checking to make sure there was nobody around to challenge them, they hopped over a chestnut fence and descended to an area of dry grass dominated by a tall umbrella pine. They lay down together in its dappled shade, two hands knotted loosely together, staring up at the fragments of blue sky that could be seen through the dark green foliage.

“This is me and Marco’s place,” Daniele murmured. “It’s where we fought, and it’s where we first started to make friends.”

He turned and pointed to a patch of the tree’s scaly, chestnut-brown bark, where someone had engraved, in small, neat letters, ‘D.F. + M.F.’

“This is going to hurt him, isn’t it?” Giacomo replied. “You and me.”

Daniele nodded. “Yeah. But I can’t keep him in the dark.”

“Do you have to be so good?” Giacomo sighed; but Daniele thought it was admiration, not frustration, that he heard in the other boy’s voice.

“I’ll tell him as soon as he gets back,” Daniele said.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Giacomo asked.

Daniele shook his head. “Nah… that’ll just make it harder for him.”

They turned back to face the sky. “It was easier when we were younger,” Giacomo said, “but…” he gave Daniele’s hand a squeeze, “I wouldn’t take this back for anything.”

“What about your mamma?” Daniele asked. “What will she think about all this?”

Giacomo shifted slightly. “She saw what I was like when I was missing you,” he said, “and she’s always been cool around Gianni and Angelo. I think she’ll get it.”

“What will you tell her? That you’re bi?”

“I’ll tell her I’m Danisexual.”

Daniele blinked. “Da –” he began.

It was more than he could take. He snorted and then burst out laughing again, wiping his eyes with his free hand.

“You killed me,” he gasped at the sky. “I’m officially dead.”

Giacomo popped up in his eyeline, leaning over him. “Don’t die yet,” he entreated him. “We’re just getting started.”

“Okay,” Daniele replied, smiling uncertainly up at him. “I’ll try not to.”

Giacomo leaned down to give him another kiss, but then there was a buzz from Daniele’s phone. Both boys glanced towards his pocket.

“Timing,” Giacomo grumbled, rocking back up onto his knees.

Daniele fished the device out of his pocket and took a look. It was a text from Marco.

‘Ciao. We’re back! :)’

“Wow,” he mumbled, showing it to the other boy. “Reality bites.”

Giacomo exhaled slowly. “If you don’t want to – you don’t have to do it straight away.”

Daniele shook his head. “I want to get it out of the way… but I’ll let him tell me about his holiday first.”

* * *

They parted company at the vegetable garden. Daniele handed Giacomo his house keys, then the dark-eyed boy wished him luck and turned down the hill, leaving Daniele to walk into town on his own. Hands shoved pensively into his pockets, he shuffled down the quiet, winding stairway and through the echoing vaulted porch of the convent, wondering how to explain himself to Marco.

Marco had agreed to meet him at the Municipio gardens. Part of Daniele wanted to take Giacomo’s suggestion and run away, delaying the conversation until another day, but his feet carried him stubbornly across the square towards the avenue of oleanders. Marco was waiting, and he wasn’t about to let his friend down. The mousy-haired boy had been let down too many times in his life already.

He climbed the broad, shallow stairway between the sprays of vivid pink blooms like a condemned prisoner on his final march, then turned into the broad, crazy-paved street at the top of the hill under the watchful eyes of the weathered old houses and palazzi. Casting his eyes over the shady gardens, where the summer flower borders were now in full, colourful bloom, he spotted Marco lounging around in the shade of the central pine tree. The smaller boy was wearing a summer shirt that Daniele didn’t recognise, a simple white number in lightweight cotton. With it, Marco seemed brighter and breezier than usual, which made the prospect of breaking the news to him even harder to bear.

Daniele took a steadying breath and set out across the short green grass, which had been kept fresh and soft through the summer by careful watering. Hearing him approach, the mousy-haired boy looked up, then sprang to his feet and embraced him in an enthusiastic greeting.

“Dani!” Marco burst out excitably. “I had an amazing time in Rome… I wanna tell you all about it…”

Daniele hugged him back and then released him, shoving his hands in his pockets once again.

“Ciao, Marco,” he said, finding a smile from somewhere.

Marco frowned slightly. “Are you okay?” he asked, looking him up and down. “You seem different, somehow.”

“I’m great, honest,” Daniele managed. “Why don’t you tell me all about it?”

Marco shrugged lightly and sat back down on the grass, tugging Daniele gently down with him. Daniele flopped down on the grass next to him and tried to relax a little.

“We took the train,” Marco said, loading even those simple words with import, “then we stayed in a hotel, where they had these huge breakfast buffets sort of like we did at Emilia’s birthday party. I got so full every day I didn’t even want my lunch half the time! We were right in the centre of the old city, where there are all these fancy shops, and bits of old Roman buildings just sitting there in these big holes. I couldn’t believe the ground level had changed so much since then.”

The mousy-haired boy’s cool grey eyes were aglow with all the new experiences he had been through. His enthusiasm for his first trip away from the coast was palpable, and this time Daniele’s smile was genuine.

“Go on,” he said.

Marco glanced up thoughtfully into the leafy canopy of the lime trees. “Well,” he said, “we went to the Vatican City. St. Peter’s Basilica was so big, I…” he smiled. “When I looked up into the big dome in the middle, I thought my head would fall off.”

Daniele laughed. “That sounds cool.”

“We went to the Colosseo, where they used to throw people to the lions,” Marco went on eagerly. “It was so weird to stand inside somewhere so old, and there were all these names engraved into the little bricks. We went to the market at the Campo de’ Fiori, where there were loads of different stalls and all these huge, really colourful baskets of fruit and vegetables. I didn’t know where to look first. And then…” he leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “we went to visit this crypt that was decorated with nothing but human bones. Even little kids’ bones…”

Daniele’s eyes widened slightly. “Seriously?”

Marco nodded. “I’m not kidding.” He paused for another moment’s thought. “We did other stuff, too. We explored the Roman forum – the biggest pillars you’ve ever seen, they were seriously immense – and I got my photograph taken at the Spanish Steps and the Fontana di Trevi…” here, he waved his phone at Daniele, showing off a photo of a grinning Marco with an ice cream in one hand and an extravagantly ornate marble fountain behind him, “plus we went to a load of shops and things, of course.” He gestured at his attire. “Gianni and Angelo bought me this shirt.”

He fished in his shorts pockets and pulled out a couple of gifts wrapped in white tissue paper, which he handed to Daniele slightly shyly. “Plus… I got these for you.”

“Thanks, Marco!” Daniele replied, genuinely touched to have been remembered.

Marco shrugged. “They’re… only small,” he mumbled.

The first, smaller item turned out to be a sturdy plastic keyring inlaid with an atmospheric sunset photograph of the Colosseum.

Daniele smiled. “This’ll look great on my house keys, when I get them back from G…” he hesitated.

“Huh?” Marco said, frowning slightly once again.

“Never mind,” Daniele replied hastily. “I’ll explain later.” He turned his attention to the second parcel, which felt like it contained something hard and rectangular.

“Angelo thought it would be funny for me to bring you back something ceramic – to here, of all places,” Marco explained, “and… we found this place that was doing customised name plates. I thought, maybe, for your bedroom door…”

Daniele unwrapped the gift and slid it onto his hand. It was a small, rectangular tile with an embossed border glazed with the Italian colours of green, white and red. Written in the middle of the tile in neat yellow italics was the name Dani.

“Thanks, Marco,” Daniele smiled. Unexpectedly, he felt a tear spring to one eye, and he wiped it away. The gift was so simple, but so… devoted, somehow.

Marco’s eyes widened in dismay. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Was it too much? I mean, I… don’t have much practice at this.”

Daniele shook his head. “It’s not that. The gifts are awesome.”

“So…” Marco faltered. “What’s been happening here, while I’ve been away?”

“I… don’t want to hurt you,” Daniele mumbled.

Marco’s face fell slightly. “Okay, so… now I’m prepared, I guess.”

His cool grey eyes were watching Daniele with a painfully vulnerable curiosity. Daniele realised he couldn’t make him wait any longer.

“Well, for starters, Emilia and Luca sort of broke up, but also…” he gave the other boy an uncomfortable glance. “Giaco and I sort of got together. We’re… officially a couple.”

“Oh,” Marco said. He looked away, his ebullient mood deflating like a punctured football. Suddenly, he resembled the lost, downtrodden boy he had been when Daniele first got to know him. “Who else knows…?”

Daniele winced and began counting people off on his fingers. “Toto, for sure… and he’s probably told Michele and Claudia by now. Then there’s Emilia, and… Laura.”

“Laura?” Marco repeated, staring at him incredulously.

Daniele shrugged. “Yeah, she’s back. Giaco turned away from her. He actually turned away. It’s one of the reasons I… you know…” He tailed off, fiddling uncomfortably with his fingernails.

“I suppose I saw this coming,” Marco mumbled. “I was just too preoccupied to, you know, really dwell on it until now.” He gave Daniele a miserable look. “Congratulations, I guess.”

Marco’s words were generous but, from the way he jerked his head away when Daniele tried to find his eyes, Daniele was left, once again, with the impression that the mousy-haired boy was holding something back.

“Thanks,” Daniele said uncertainly.

“So…” Marco ventured, with what might have been a brave attempt at gallows humour, “am I going to have to deal with seeing you two holding hands, kissing in public, that sort of thing?”

“We’ve done both of those things,” Daniele admitted, unable to quite conceal the thought that lay behind his eyes.

Marco, it seemed, had not missed his flicker of hidden feeling. “But…?” he asked warily.

Daniele glanced away. “That’s… not all we’ve done,” he conceded reluctantly.

Marco stared at him in mute horror for a few seconds, but then he buried his face in his knees and cursed loudly.

“Marco…?” Daniele began, reaching out as if to comfort him, but the other boy shook his hand roughly away.

“Why, Dani?” Marco cried. “Why would you let him do that to you…?”

Daniele drew back. “What…?” he asked, startled by the ferocity of the other boy’s reaction.

“You deserve better!” Marco exclaimed. “All Giaco ever thinks about is himself. He just wants to be admired. Nothing he says… nothing he does… is real!”

“That’s… not true!” Daniele protested.

“Really?” Marco burst out. “What did he do when he met a cool new superhero friend who had a totally obvious crush on him?” He gestured fiercely at Daniele so there could be no doubt who he meant. “He dropped Emilia and me like a sack of bricks. Then, when Laura came along and asked him out, he even dropped you. When she started expecting too much from him in return, he dumped her and came back to you, and because you were so blinded by your crush on him you let him right back in.” He shook his head miserably. “When you turned him down at the disco, I thought you’d finally got it, but I guess not…”

Daniele’s mind was reeling from the other boy’s onslaught. “I… no, I…” he faltered. “What about everything he did to protect his mother from Ettore and the others? And when Ettore captured me, he came back for me. He didn’t have to do that.” He threw out one last remark, regretting it almost at once. “You were no help, then.”

Marco gave him an injured glare. “That’s not fair,” he protested.

“Right,” Daniele mumbled. “Sorry.”

Marco shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He sighed raggedly. “So, he acted once to help his number one fan, or maybe so he wouldn’t look like a coward, and now you think you love him. Great. But does he really love you? Go on, ask yourself. Be honest.”

“He’s told me he does,” Daniele said.

“Actions speak louder than words,” Marco retorted. “I know I’d do almost anything for you… would he?”

Daniele could feel his confidence beginning to weaken and crack. Everything Giacomo had said about missing Daniele and wanting to be together… could it really all have been just another performance? He knew the other boy was good at acting a part. He floundered, scratching around desperately for a way to refute the other boy’s claims.

“But… we click together…” he said weakly. “We make each other laugh so much…”

Marco shrugged. “Yeah, he’s cute and funny. I know that. Why do you think I crushed on him for years? But this…” he turned away. “Sorry, I just can’t.”

Daniele backed away. “Maybe I’d better go.”

“Sure… okay,” Marco sighed. He cast one last glance back over his shoulder, his grey eyes full of a bitter sadness and regret. “Hey – Dani,” he called. “Show me one example of something totally selfless that Giaco has done. Then, maybe, I’ll start to believe you.”

* * *

Daniele walked home feeling badly shaken, his mind now utterly divided: over the last few days, he thought he had felt a real closeness with Giacomo, but Marco’s blistering attack had breathed fresh life into all the doubts that had made him hesitate in the first place.

He barely noticed where he was going, and found himself descending the Bishop’s Way, passing the very spot where he had stepped forward to kiss the dark-eyed boy just a couple of days ago. A wave of uncertainty and pain coursed through him, and he hurried on through the darkened pedestrian tunnel beneath the Villa Rufolo.

If Marco was right, he had given himself completely to a boy for whom, at best, the whole thing was a casual game. He couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t believe it. But…

He was quiet that evening, slow to engage with Giacomo’s games and jokes. At least it was their Tuesday family dinner night, so there was someone else around to take their attention off each other. If Patrizia and Paolo noticed that Daniele was uncomfortable, they tactfully avoided mentioning it around Giacomo.

As they crawled into bed together that evening, Daniele felt none of the excitement and giddy happiness that had haunted him over the last couple of days. He felt tense and miserable, and lay facing away from his friend, gazing blankly at the row of fitted cupboards that lined the bedroom wall.

He felt the other boy’s hand alight gently on his shoulder.

“Are you okay, Dani?” Giacomo asked.

Daniele shrugged his affections away as gently as he could manage.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I’m just tired.”

Giacomo withdrew. “Okay,” he mumbled. “Hope you feel better tomorrow. Buonanotte.”

“Buonanotte,” Daniele replied.

They put the lights out, and soon Giacomo’s steady breathing filled the room.

His mind turning round in the same endless loop, Daniele lay awake for some time, staring into the darkness.