Pushing the Limit -Book 2 - 4. Chapter 4

TC pushed the throttle forward on the control panel and Triton’s Conch put on a burst of speed. Lyssa and her friend Missy were laughing at something Owen had said to them. Owen was sitting on the back bench with his new girlfriend, Madison. They had been dating for about a month. It was the Fourth of July and TC had volunteered to host the kids for the day. They had anchored off of Siesta Key again so the kids could hang out on the beach. TC had stayed onboard listening to music and reading in the shade. He had gone back to work and found that as long as he kept busy his mind didn’t have time to dwell on things.

His therapy sessions were still the best coping mechanism TC had. They were definitely helping. Dr. Ng was helping him work with his need to be in control and to establish it in healthy ways. Ever since TC had gotten out from underneath his father’s control he had pretty much made every decision for himself. When he was with Elliott, he had been the one to decide where they lived, what furniture to buy, where to go on vacation and such. He had asked for, and valued Elliott’s opinion, but in the end every single choice had been his and that was how they both preferred it to be, which was fine. Now that Elliott was no longer in the picture, TC had to focus on ways he could control real life situations. He needed to rediscover the confidence that he had lost after the death of his beautiful boy.

Lyssa had stuck by her resolve to be TC’s dedicated watchdog. She texted him everyday, expecting a reply. He learned quickly that it’s better to respond sooner, rather than later. If too much time went by the phone would start blowing up. He had missed several texts one afternoon when he had fallen asleep watching a movie and the incessant ringing of his phone had woken him up. He had received a tongue lashing that he would never forget. She was definitely a pistol, that was for sure, and she had a heart of gold.

It was a hot and humid day and the late afternoon sun had driven the kids back to the boat to seek out the shade. Owen had asked if they could go for a ride to cool off and TC agreed it was a good idea. Even though the breeze was warm, it felt much better than staying at anchor. There were big puffy clouds building up to the east, most likely several miles inland. TC hoped that the storms they usually heralded would stay over that way. This time of year you never knew what the afternoons would bring. It wasn’t unheard of to have fireworks delayed because of passing thunderstorms. TC’s boat was more than capable of being out in the nasty weather, but he preferred not to deal with it if he didn’t have to.

They lucked out and the clouds to the east stayed there. TC piloted the boat back to the shore after a couple of hours and once more anchored off the shore of the beach, but this time he stayed to the north so they would be closer to the marina once the fireworks display ended. He thought Owen and Madison looked cute together. She was a nice looking girl and had a bright smile. Owen was sitting on the bow of the boat, leaning back against the slope of the bridge wall. Madison was cuddled up in front of him, his arms draped over her shoulders. It reminded him of the night they had all watched the dolphins play in the moonlight and he had held onto David like that. The memory made him smile and that was a step in the right direction.

Dr. Ng had helped him to understand that David’s choices were his own and they were just as valid as the choices that TC had made. He had thought a lot about that and he had finally reached a place where thinking about David didn’t hurt as much. He was able to sort through his memories and he had mentally categorized them into safe and unsafe in his head. His safe memories were the ones that he could think of that didn’t hurt, like the excursions on his boat with the kids. Unsafe memories were the ones that threatened to undo all of the progress that he had made so far, like remembering the feel of David beneath him. Dr. Ng had told him that only time would help him to deal with the unsafe memories.

He and the kids watched as darkness took the place of the purples and dark blues of twilight. They watched as the night sky lit up with bright flashes of colored starbursts, each of the displays accompanied but a loud boom or a hissing sizzle. The whole thing lasted about a half an hour and TC started the boat and slowly motored back to the marina as the finale lit up the night sky.

Back at the marina Owen showed Madison how to help tie up the boat properly. TC resisted the urge to double check the ties. He was getting better about that kind of thing. He dropped Madison off at her house first, then Missy, and then brought the kids to David’s house where they were staying for the night. TC still had not been inside since David had left and the kids knew he couldn’t bring himself to go in yet. TC reminded Lyssa that he would pick her up at ten the next morning. They had an appointment with Becky, the realtor, to look at a few houses. So far he hadn’t seen anything that he really liked. The two that he thought were OK, were too far away from the shore, both were east of the interstate. He wanted to be closer to the center of the city.

Lyssa was upbeat the next morning when TC picked her up. They stopped at a drive thru to get some breakfast sandwiches and coffee before meeting Becky at ten-thirty. Becky was a semi-retired real estate agent. She had told them that every time she tried to retire for good either her husband pissed her off or she had someone who just had to use her to either sell a house for them or help them find a house.

Becky had two houses to show them. The first was a nice, newly built three bedroom, two bath house in a new development. It was toward the end of a dead end street and the back of the house abutted Oscar Scherer State Park. TC liked the house and the fact that it had a state park as a neighbor, effectively ensuring that they wouldn’t be hemmed in by any more development. It was south of the center of the city, bordering the town of Osprey. It got put on his maybe list.

The second home Becky showed them was just south of where he was now. It sat on one of the canal inlets off of Little Sarasota Bay. There was even a dock that would probably accommodate a small boat, maybe twenty feet or so max. He’d have to find out about the depth of the canal. The house needed a little bit of work, but the sellers were quite motivated and willing to negotiate.

Lyssa’s first impression upon entering was a softly whispered “Wow”. The floors had all been recently done with a light wood finish. The kitchen and living room was one huge open area, divided by an island with a wood base that matched the floors. Surprisingly there was a fireplace in the center of the wall that was opposite the kitchen. Becky explained that many older homes had fireplaces because years ago it wasn’t practical to put in a whole heating system that would only be used a few days out of the year. Once air conditioning became popular most newer homes had units that could perform both functions. The fireplace had a unique backdrop, not like the traditional brick or stone, Upon closer inspection TC saw that someone must have taken pieces of coral and cut them into flat pieces, each about an inch thick. They were then pieced together like a jigsaw puzzle and the edges had been cut to lay in a straight line. The natural holes had been filled in with both clear and colored epoxy, shades of deep blue and green swirling about in random patterns. It was stunning. The mantle had been fashioned out of a large piece of driftwood, cut into a flat piece about four feet long, four inches thick and ten inches wide. This too had been sealed with epoxy which highlighted the natural colors of the wood grain.

The house itself was a L shape with the living room and kitchen and half bath making up the short arm of the L. There were three bedrooms and two and a half baths. The spare bedrooms were both a decent size and one on each side of the long part of the L. A large master bedroom made up the end of the L, separated from the two spare rooms by a bathroom on one side and a large linen closet on the other side. The living room and kitchen looked out over the canal, a large screened in lanai/deck added plenty of outdoor space.

TC checked out the master bedroom, which was really spacious. Sliding glass doors led to an odd bonus area. The only he could think of to describe it was as a three season room or lanai. The area was roughly 18x20 feet. It was enclosed with screened in windows all around, the walls only coming up about three feet. It reminded him of the screened in porches homes in cooler climates often had.

Lyssa stood next to him and quipped “You could enclose this, hook up A/C and make it into your playroom.”

TC turned and gawked at her as Becky tried, but failed miserably to hold back her laughter.

Lyssa turned bright red as TC admonished her, “I do not EVER want to hear you utter the word ‘playroom’ in that context again.” He muttered under his breath, “Seventeen, how the hell does a seventeen year old like her know about playrooms?”

Lyssa giggled and confessed “Rance and Rachel. Sorry!”

TC couldn’t help but chuckle, especially when Becky snorted.

“So kiddo, what do you think? Should I make an offer?” TC asked Lyssa when she had gotten her laughter under control.

“Definitely! This is you TC, and it’s not far from where you are now.” she told him, wisely refraining from stating the fact that it was also closer to David’s house.

TC went back to the kitchen with Becky. The listing price was at the higher end of what he was willing to pay, but still within what he wanted for a budget. It’s not that he couldn’t afford more, he could. He just didn’t see why he needed to. The house needed a little work, but it was mostly cosmetic. The biggest issue was the roof. It was sixteen years old and would need to be replaced or he might not be able to get insurance. He ended up cutting eighteen thousand dollars off of the asking price, contingent on an inspection and appraisal. He knew that replacing the roof on a house of this size would run somewhere around fifteen thousand.

He signed some paperwork and Becky said she would call him when she had an answer from the seller. He thanked her and he and Lyssa said goodbye.

It was only a short drive back to David’s house, less than ten minutes. Lyssa waited until TC pulled into the driveway before she hit him with “So, I talked to Dad this morning.”

TC took a deep breath before answering noncommittally “You did, huh?”

“Yeah, he said he might be ready to come home soon. He’s been talking with someone over there and I guess they’ve been helping him sort some stuff out.” Lyssa said.

TC knew that she was still hopeful that he and David would work things out. He didn’t want to encourage her, but he wouldn’t discourage her either.

“So what did you say to that?” TC asked.

“I didn’t say anything.” she answered, emphasizing the word ‘say’. Then she added “I just sent him this to show him why he needed to come home.” She turned her phone to show him something on the screen.

TC chuffed, smiled wryly and commented “You sure do know how to twist the knife don’t you kiddo?”

Lyssa smiled and admitted “I’ll play dirty if it gets him to come home.”

“Go. Before I call your Mom and tell her what you’ve been up to.” he chided.

Lyssa leaned over and kissed his scruffy cheek, he hadn’t been trimming his beard as often as he should have been. “Bye TC, let me know when you hear from Becky!”

TC smiled as she got out of the car and he stayed in the driveway until she was safely in the house. Damn he loved that kid!

He thought about what she said, that David might be coming home soon. TC felt a faint glimmer of hope at the same time a thread of doubt wound its way through his brain. Until he heard from David himself, he would keep his thoughts to himself. He was still on the fence about David being close by once again.

Even though it was Saturday, TC ended up working from his condo, trying to catch up on emails and other things that had piled up while he had taken off to work on his mental health. He finished up around four and at four-thirty Becky called him to let him know that the sellers accepted his bid, contingent upon the inspection and appraisal reports. She gave him the contact information for a couple of appraisers and he said he would try to set something up for Monday or Tuesday.

He fixed a salad with some leftover chicken for dinner and caught up on a few podcasts that he had been following. His phone rang and he saw that it was Miles.

“Hey Miles!” TC greeted him as he answered the call.

“TC! How goes it my man?” Miles said exuberantly.

“Not too bad, I put an offer on a house today and it was accepted.” TC smiled as the reality was hitting him.

“That’s awesome! Congratulations! Andi will be thrilled for you.” Miles told him.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” TC said.

“So, Andi and I are heading up to Ybor City next weekend. There’s a club up there that’s going to be doing a demonstration and lessons in Kinbaku and we were wondering if you wanted to come with us?” Miles offered.

TC’s mind spun around for a moment. Could he handle it? Yeah, he probably could, it’s not like anyone had to participate. Demonstrations were done by experienced riggers and they used their own models. Lessons were taught on a voluntary basis, no one forced anyone else to try anything out that was shown.

“OK. I’ll go. TC agreed.

“What? Oh, yeah, perfect. I’ll text you with the info and what time we’ll pick you up. It’s Saturday by the way. Wow, I really didn’t expect you to say yes.” Miles said. Then under his breath he added “I guess I owe Andi twenty bucks.”

TC laughed, the sound itself sounding funny to his ears. It had been a while since he had a genuine laugh and it felt good. Dr. Ng would be proud of his progress.

TC wrapped up his conversation with Miles and got ready for bed. He was actually looking forward to something for a change. This was good.

The rest of the week went by rather quickly. TC was down to once a week sessions with Dr. Ng, and the doctor was happy with his progress and pleased that he was willing to go with Miles and Andi to the demonstration. He thought it was a step in the right direction.

Miles and Andi picked him up at five o’clock on Saturday. They stopped to get something to eat and TC picked up the tab as a thank you to the couple for inviting him. They arrived on time to the club in Ybor City which was a lively area, full of bars and restaurants. The bars covered a wide range of clientele, straight, biker, gay, trans, BDSM and the like. The club they were going to was called Magick’s. They checked in with the Dungeon Master. Miles had registered them online and paid for the registration fee. After showing ID and their registration confirmation the DM told them to follow the signs.

The club’s main room had been transformed into an area that reminded TC of the auditorium at a hotel. There was a raised stage at one end and six long tables in three rows, each table seating five people faced the stage. Each seat had a bottle of water and a folder for the attendee. Miles, Andi and TC found the table with their name written on small place cards and took their seats.

At eight o’clock the club owner came out and introduced himself as Charlie Gold. He thanked them for coming and then introduced the presenter. Akito Hamada was an older Japanese man. TC would have guessed maybe late fifties, early sixties. He had two models with him, one male and one female. Neither one was Japanese, leading TC to think that they were locals. His guess was correct when Master Akito thanked them for volunteering for the demonstration. The female was a pretty blonde with a voluptuous figure, perfect for tying up. Most of the Doms that TC knew who preferred bondage and women, usually liked them to be well padded. The extra padding or layer of fat helped to cushion the sub against the tight pull of the ropes. Thinner people tended to abrade more easily and some couldn't tolerate the constant rubbing as long as well as their heavier counterparts could. It was why TC preferred guys with love handles over chiseled abs.

Master Akito drew their attention to the folders in front of them. He had provided them with several handouts and gave them a few minutes to look over the material while he double checked his equipment that was already set up.

There was a one page synopsis that gave a brief history of Kinbaku and Shibari. The two terms were sometimes interchangeable, Kinbaku was typically referred to as the process of tying and binding one’s subject in tight, intricate knots, while Shibari were the knots themselves, often regarded as art. There really was no definitive distinction between the two. It depended upon what reference one referred to.

The practice went back several hundred years in Japanese history, really coming out into the light of the rest of the world during the World War II era when soldiers came across it in many of the larger cities. Since ancient times, ropes had been used as a sacred tool in many Japanese practices such as the Samurai. Samurai warriors used ropes in their law enforcement to restrain criminals. Humans, as with so many other mundane things, found a way to sexualize it. Japanese culture had embraced the practice and mastered it.

TC was especially impressed with the rather lengthy safety guide that listed the do’s and don’ts, not only of rope tying, but within the BDSM world in general. It listed basic terminology and their definitions, it reiterated basic safety points such as never leaving someone alone in bondage, avoid being under the influence of alcohol or drugs, fall risk and prevention. There were two pages dedicated to circulation and what to watch out for, discomfort, changes in color or skin temperature, numbness, tingling, how to spot nerve damage and so on. Another section addressed the unique needs that suspension required.

There was a segment on safety supplies, which recommended keeping paramedic shears on hand. They had a flat side that wouldn’t harm the skin as the shears worked to cut rope quickly. Knives could take too long to cut through rope, the back and forth sawing motion could add to a sub’s panic if that was an issue. So many people who were new to bondage practices didn’t take the time to do their homework and many subs ended up getting hurt because of it. There was much more to true bondage than just tying someone up and doing whatever with them. It took a lot of education and practice and time, building trust with a sub before a Dom could be confident in his or her abilities, and even then it was always an ongoing learning process.

TC also liked how the information reiterated the fact that communication was key to a successful session between the rigger and his/her subject. Aftercare was just as important, and for both parties, not just the person being tied up. Considerations such as health conditions like arthritis, muscle issues, diabetes were things that needed to be discussed as well, all of which could have a detrimental impact on a sub should something go wrong. Setting the mood and making sure safeguards and safewords were available covered another whole component.

The final part of the thick packet was handout outs and step by step instructions for the knots and positions that Master Akito was going to be teaching. TC recognized a few, but noted that there were several that he had never used before. He was going to enjoy seeing the guy up on stage wrapped up in the ropes.

Master Akito garnered their attention and began his demonstration. Over the next few hours they were shown various knots and positions. The two models were both quite flexible, especially the male. TC admired the man’s ability to contort his limbs. He was actually quite attractive and TC flipped through the material to see if there was any background information on him and felt disappointed when there was none. He remembered when he and David were training and they often used the same sub. David would appreciate a sub such as the one up there on the stage. There was something about the way he reacted to Master Akito that continually drew TC’s attention to him, something that he hadn’t seen since Elliott.

Miles and Andi watched closely, both of them enraptured by what they saw. TC knew that they would be signing up for some one on one instruction with a local Master. TC was familiar with many of the knots and patterns that Master Akito demonstrated and he took note of a few new ones.

The aesthetics of the knots was beautiful in and of itself. TC had once seen an exhibit of photography featuring Shibari patterns and the portraits were stunning. He would love to find a place in his new home for a few pieces of artwork.

At the end of the demonstration the applause was thunderous for a small group. Master Akito bowed and his models followed his lead. The Master allowed his female model to answer some questions that a few of the audience members in attendance had. She was experienced enough that Master Akito was comfortable with her knowledge. They moved over to one side to allow the remaining Doms and Dommes to ask questions. TC held back until he was the last one to address Master Akito. He nodded respectfully. The cute male model was still standing next to the Master, eyes averted downward, hands behind his back, clasping his elbows in his palms. There was something in the way that he stood there that TC recognized. Something he hadn't seen in a long time. Up close he was older than TC first thought, late twenties, maybe early thirties. He was on the shorter side, maybe 5’6” or 5’7”, TC felt like he towered over him. He was well built, nicely muscled too. TC wondered if he practiced yoga. It was the only way he could think of that someone of his build could be so flexible. Either that or he must have stretched quite often or it was genetic. Whatever it was he certainly had a killer body.

TC complimented the Master on his techniques and asked a few specific questions regarding some of the patterns that he had jotted down and then added “Your sub did very well. I was impressed.” He could see the small smile that flashed across the guy’s face from the corner of his eye. “May I address him?” TC asked, extending the common courtesy from one Dom to another.

“Certainly, his job here is complete. I agree that his performance was satisfactory.” the man said with his distinctive Japanese accent.

TC turned to the model and asked “What is your name?”

“Sinclair, Sir, Sinclair Holt.” was the answer. His eyes were downcast giving away his shyness. TC took a moment to admire the handsome face and the soft, dark auburn hair before he nodded his approval and said “You served Master Akito well. You should be proud of a job well done boy.”

This time the smile was broad and the man added a deep pink blush to his skin as well. TC wondered if he blushed like that when he came. Whoa. Where did that thought come from?

Miles and Andi saved him from his own thoughts as they came back over. They all thanked Master Akito once again and Miles drove them back to Sarasota, dropping TC off at his condo. TC smiled at his friends and thanked them for taking him out. It had been an eye-opening evening and TC knew he would have a lot to discuss with Dr. Ng during his next appointment.

TC did in fact have a lot to discuss with his therapist. He told him all about the demonstration and Dr. Ng asked him how he felt about all of it.

TC replied “I felt good. I was comfortable with the subject matter and I learned a few things. It was interesting to watch him with his subs. The guy was really flexible, I was amazed at some of the contortions he was able to do. It was impressive.”

“Did you find yourself wanting to participate?” Dr. Ng questioned.

“Sure, especially with a sub so malleable. Not to mention he was easy on the eyes.” TC replied.

“That’s good TC, it’s good that you can picture yourself participating in such an activity with someone other than David or Elliott. You’re showing good progress.” Dr. Ng said encouragingly.

“Well, I don’t think I’m actually ready for such a step, maybe someday. During the demonstration I remembered how David and I trained together and I couldn’t help think about how he would have enjoyed working with the sub as well.”

“Hmm, I like to see you thinking about David in his Dominant role. It shows that you’re able to see him as an equal, not just as a submissive, like you were before.” Dr. Ng smiled as he replied to TC.

“How do you feel now about that inevitable phone call. Without saying anything out loud, if David called right now, what would you do?” His question hung in the air.

TC immediately knew that he would answer the call.

Dr. Ng smiled and wrapped up their session.

TC was upbeat as he headed back to his condo. The appraisal had verified that TC was paying a fair price and the bank agreed. His offer was finalized and the closing would be in three weeks. Lyssa had been thrilled when he called to tell her. He had to promise to let her help pick out furniture and decor after the closing was done. He didn’t want to start spending a whole bunch of money until after everything was finalized. He knew of too many people who had the rug pulled out from underneath them at the last minute and had the sale fall through. Lyssa would just need to be patient until the closing was done.

By the end of the week TC was in a really good frame of mind. Friday night after work he had picked up some Chinese food, something he hadn’t treated himself to in a while and decided to eat out on the balcony. It was still hot and humid, but there was a nice breeze coming in off the Gulf. As he ate he could see the clouds building up to the north. By the time the sun had set the horizon was dark and bright flashes of lightning could be seen. There was nothing more impressive than a light show put on by Mother Nature. TC stayed out watching the skies flash brightly. He headed inside when the winds started whipping up and the thunder got closer.

He had just closed the slider behind him when his phone rang. He set down the empty food containers and looked at the caller ID.

David.

TC smiled as he swiped at the screen. “Hi.’

The voice he had longed to hear from answered “Hi.”