Shadow Effect - 17. Chapter 17

Elijah perched on the edge of the tall building, looking around vigilantly for any threats, real or perceived. Under any other circumstance he would have enjoyed the view, but even as a mighty owl, he felt anxious. Kage had been gone for a while now. Shouldn’t he have been back by now?

Movement far below on the pavement caught his keen eye. His owl’s night vision was far superior to his own. An employee was leaving the building, walking a little too fast in his opinion. He watched the man hurry down the sidewalk. Elijah shuffled his taloned feet along the edge, on high alert when the man darted into the alley between this building and the next.

The guy stripped down and tossed his clothes at a homeless man sleeping in a pile of debris next to the ubiquitous dumpster. In the next instant, the man disappeared and a black cat ran off, quickly losing itself in the darkness.

Shit! Kage!

Elijah knew it was taking too long.

He swiftly transitioned from an owl to a rat. He’d rather be a mouse, but knew the small stature would be too difficult for him to cling to. As it was, a rat was pushing it. He raced toward an opening in the vent, just big enough for him to squeeze his rat’s ass through, bless their little pliable bodies.

The vent dropped and he plunged down the equivalent of a flight of stairs, bouncing off the wall before sliding to a halt in the ceiling vent of Huntington’s office. Looking down through the grated vent, he saw a pool of red liquid puddled next to the big desk.

On the verge of panic, he pushed his way through the narrow gap between the slats. His stomach leapt into his throat, both from the fall and from the uncertainty of Kage’s condition. He transformed mid-air and landed hard on his feet, momentum toppling him over. That was going to hurt later on, but he didn’t care. He sprang to his feet and vaulted over the desk, scattering papers in every direction and sending the monitor crashing to the floor.

Elijah’s heart almost stopped when he saw Kage lying pale and motionless. A sound escaped him, the likes of which should have been impossible for human vocal cords to produce. He fell beside his lover, not knowing where to touch him. Blood was everywhere, way too much of it. Animal shifters could heal themselves much quicker than humans. Shifters like Kage and himself healed faster too, but not that fast.

Elijah placed a finger on Kage’s neck, searching desperately for a pulse. He sobbed in relief as a faint thumping greeted his nerve ending.

“Kage, wake up! Please Kage. Please! Open your eyes, Kage. OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!!”

Nothing. Not even a flutter.

No.

Not this way.

“Please Kage. Don’t do this. Stay alive and I promise I’ll let you go. I’ll do anything. Please, Kage. Please,” he begged.

He placed his hands over the gaping wound where blood still flowed, pulsing a little with each faint heartbeat. Still, it escaped his fingers as he pushed down, trying to staunch the rivulets.

A faint movement caught his attention. Kage’s lashes fluttered slightly, just the barest hint of movement.

“KAGE! Open up those beautiful eyes. Let me see them again.”

Kage’s eyes opened the tiniest slit, then closed. Elijah held his breath, willing Kage to be okay.

“Elijah,” Kage whispered, barely audible.

“Hey, stay with me, Kage. Just hold on until you start healing, okay?” Elijah told him, unsure if that was even a possibility at this point.

Kage’s hand reached up weakly to cup his cheek. Elijah took one bloody hand off his wound and pressed Kage’s hand against his face, holding it there tightly.

A slight spark appeared in Kage’s eyes. For a moment, those dark brown orbs seemed full of life.

“Trevor.”

“What?” Elijah asked, confused. “Who’s Trevor?”

“Tell Boss, Trevor,” Kage said, his voice weak.

“Okay, but you can tell him yourself.”

Kage managed the barest hint of a smile. There was blood coming from the corner of his mouth.

“You are—” Kage took a shallow breath, “—the best.” Another one, weaker this time. “Thing about me—” A soft puff of air left his lungs and took in one more barely-there inhalation. “—Love you.”

Elijah’s vision blurred. He blinked, trying to clear the tears. “I love you too,” he cried.

A final exhalation drifted out slowly and Kage’s eyes closed once more. This time, they didn’t open.

Nononononononononononononononononononononononono!

Elijah keened as he rocked back and forth, his head resting against Kage’s, refusing to acknowledge what he knew was true. He clung to Kage as silent sobs tore through him. His body wracked with tremors, shaking uncontrollably. The walls closed in around him and all the oxygen was sucked from the room.

Elijah's heart jolted when he felt a slight shift. He pulled his head back and saw that Kage seemed to be turning into his shadow self. His skin went from pale and lifeless, to dark, inky hues spreading like a web being woven, but in fast forward. He felt the weight on his body disappear as flesh and bone faded.

His joy was short-lived. Kage’s clothes crumpled, partially hiding the pool of blood spread out, staining the expensive rug. The dark shadow swirled around him, caressing his skin, his hair, his face. It pulled back and hovered for a moment before changing again.

The jet black inkiness gradually lightened, turning steel gray, then stormy like a summer maelstrom. Fading further, the gray melted into an ashen hue, like soot from a fire until melting into a lighter shade, reminiscent of the white smoke used to announce a new pope has been chosen. The color intensified, morphing into the same brightness as freshly fallen snow touched by sunlight, until finally settling on a blinding, pure alabaster light.

Everything good which resided inside Kage shone inside that brilliance.

The white adumbration wound itself around Elijah and he felt an unusual sense of comfort from the touch. Then, like a ribbon rippling through a strong breeze, the dazzling brightness circled the room twice as Elijah stood in wonder. He gasped as the radiance punched through the front of his chest, leaving him breathless before exiting out the middle of his back.

Elijah watched in equal parts awe and despair as Kage’s light faded, becoming transparent, before disappearing altogether. He felt something inside of him break. He didn’t need anyone to tell him it was his heart. Something hot, almost spicy-like, was lodged there, and it took a moment before he realized it was Kage. He left a piece of himself behind; a part of his energy, his soul. Something no one could ever take away. In return, he had also taken a piece of Elijah with him. It was a piece of his heart that would forever belong to Kage.

The room was eerily silent as Elijah stood stock still, not knowing what to do. The sound of the elevator ascending pulled him from his paralysis. He immediately shifted back to a rat and scurried to the door. He ran across the room to the administrative area and then stopped. Shit. He needed to find a way out, going back up to the roof the way he came was not an option and he didn’t relish the thought of trying to navigate fifty-four flights of stairs in any animal form, let alone a rat’s.

He needed time. If he switched back to human, he’d be discovered straightaway. Nothing says you don’t belong there louder than being naked. Shit.

Think, Elijah.Think.

Bird. He could switch to a gull and dive down the center of the stairwell until he reached a level that had access to the outside. No, that wouldn’t work.

Wait. This level had an outdoor terrace. He remembered seeing it when he scoped out the conference room. He changed back to human and raced back into Huntington’s office, ignoring the blood and pile of black clothing. The door to the conference room was open and he prayed to an unknown god that the door to the terrace wasn’t locked.

Elijah hesitated a moment, not wanting to touch the handle of the glass door leading out to the terrace. He looked down at his bloodied hands, frustrated. The elevator dinged. Moments from being discovered, Elijah looked around wildly, then grabbed a piece of paper from the top of a pile on a credenza and used that to shield the handle from leaving his bloody prints. Cold air greeted him as he slid through the narrow space he allowed himself. The door shut softly as he crumpled the sheet and stepped on it just before shifting back into the great horned owl. His talons gripped the bloodied ball of paper and his wings lifted him into the air.

He flew as fast as he could back to the parking garage where he’d last seen Kage as the beautiful man he was. His owl’s heart raced like a hummingbird’s.

Blindly, he shifted into his human form as soon as his talons touched the pavement. He hunched down and grabbed his clothes from their hiding spot, quickly donning them, shoving his bare feet into his sneakers, not bothering with socks.

His brain engaged long enough to warn him that taking Kage’s Camry was not a good idea. He grabbed the key from its hide-a-box and the car chirped as he disengaged the locks. He snatched both their bags from the backseat. He locked the car again, knowing that eventually it would be taken care of by Kage’s boss. When an employee disappeared, so did everything associated with him or her. He pushed the thought from his mind. He couldn’t handle it right now.

The parking garage was adjacent to a shopping center, and Elijah spotted a sign for the public restrooms. Following the arrow, he hoped they were unlocked. Luck was still with him and he was relieved to see it was single occupancy. He locked the door behind him and leaned against it, trying to calm his hammering heart. When he lifted his head, the reflection in the mirror startled him. He didn’t recognize the person looking back at him.

His eyes were wide and haunted. His strawberry blond hair was tangled and knotted, sticking out in all directions. Kage’s bloody handprint marred the side of his face.

Keep it together, Garrison.

Taking in a deep breath, he turned on the water and begrudgingly cleaned Kage’s blood from his hands and face, watching all that remained of his love swirl down the drain. He pulled a brush from his bag and tamed his unruly hair as best he could, then gave himself a once over. Not his best look, but at least he didn’t look like he belonged in a psychiatric hospital. It would have to do.

He needed someplace safe to go until he could figure out his next move. Digging his phone out of his bag, he saw ‌it wasn’t even nine o’clock yet. This entire, awful ordeal had taken less than an hour and a half.

He felt himself sliding toward a spectacular crash and couldn’t think. His head felt heavy, his thoughts muddled. A steady warmth began spreading through him as something deep inside him took over. With renewed clarity, he hit the one and only contact that made any sense in his world. A world which right now was gaining speed at an alarming rate, toward spinning out of control.

The ringing of the phone trying to connect sounded like it came from somewhere distant. His breathing became labored as the walls of the bathroom started closing in on him.

“Elijah?”

Silence. His vocal cords were frozen.

“Elijah?”

A garbled noise made its way out of his mouth.

“Elijah, where are you?!” Tyler’s concern came through the speaker loud and clear, breaking the hold of Elijah’s paralysis.

“H-h-h-he’s gone Ty, h-h-he’s gone,” Elijah barely managed to whisper before sobs tore their way out of his throat.

Tyler was silent, letting him cry it out until the cries became stuttering hiccups. “Where are you?” he asked again, gently.

“San Francisco, somewhere. I need you.”

“Okay, Elijah. Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to get yourself to the bus station, the one downtown near the water, and find a nice quiet corner to wait for me. I’m leaving right now. I’m getting in my car and will be there soon. Can you do that for me, Elijah?”

Elijah nodded. Tyler’s voice grounded him.

“I can’t see you nodding.”

“Yes, I’ll do that,” he replied softly.

“Good.”

“Tyler? Please hurry,” another soft sob escaped him.

“I’m out the door right now, I promise.”

The call ended and Elijah gathered the two bags and exited the bathroom. He pulled up the location of the bus station. It was only a few miles, so he decided to walk, needing to pass time and not wanting to be near people just yet.

The city was full of life, cars passing, pedestrians bustling to get to wherever they were going. Elijah was in a daze as he made his way through the streets, the lights and sounds of a busy metropolis providing the white noise he needed to push all other thoughts aside.

The parking garage was close to the eastern side of Golden Gate Park and, for the most part, it was downhill the whole way to where the main station sat close to the water. Even at this time of night, people bustled around. The seedier side of the city failed to register, as he passed by discarded drug paraphernalia and more than a few homeless people, down on their luck, begging for whatever they could get.

Arriving at the station, Elijah found a seat in a quieter area and sat down with a heavy sigh. He was exhausted. His mental and emotional stamina and fortitude were sorely lacking. The next few hours went by in a complete fog. He kept a firm grip on both his bags and his eyes open, if not completely focused.

Four hours after he spoke with Tyler, his phone rang.

“Hey, I’ll be there in twenty minutes. There’s a Safeway next to the station. I’ll pick you up there.” He must have driven like a bat out of hell.

“Okay”, he replied softly.

He sat for another ten minutes before wearily gathering his things and making his way to the exit to find the Safeway. It wasn’t hard, then he leaned against the side of the building for support until Tyler’s Jeep pulled up to the curb.

Silently, he got inside and buckled up. Tyler reached over and squeezed the back of his neck, leaned over and planted a kiss on the side of his head before letting go and pulling back onto the road.

The only sound was the GPS telling them which way to go as Tyler drove them through the winding streets to get out of the city and head home. Elijah’s eyes felt heavy, weighed down with the heaviness of his grief.

Why? Why was he losing the people he loved?

Traffic was light and by the time they were on the outskirts and heading north, his exhaustion caught up with him and his eyes closed. They didn’t open again until Tyler pulled into his driveway and turned off the ignition. Elijah woke when his best friend shook his shoulder gently.

He followed his best friend inside and for the second time in less than six months, Tyler tucked him into bed, curled up behind him, and comforted him as only he knew how. Sleep claimed his weary body once again, just as the sun was coming up.

When Elijah woke, he was alone, although the sound of the shower running let him know Tyler wasn’t very far away. Wearily, he stretched, joints popping and cracking in protest. He’d never shifted like he did yesterday, from one form to another so rapidly, not to mention the abrupt fall from the ceiling vent to the floor, and today his body was letting him know ‌it hadn’t been such a good idea.

He lay there, staring at the ceiling until he heard the water shut off, indicating Tyler was finished. The quick washing up he’d done in the public restroom wasn’t enough to wash away the stench of despair from recent events. He padded into the bathroom as Tyler came out, turned the water back on. He stepped under the spray and adjusted the temperature until it was as hot as he could stand, then scrubbed himself until his fair skin was red and nearly raw.

Lathering up his chest, he felt a small bump in the center of his sternum. Looking down, he noticed a new scar, exactly where the white light had entered him. The raised keloid was shaped like a heart, not quite symmetrical, but a heart nonetheless. He stuck his face under the spray to wash away the fresh tears before finishing up and getting out. The hot water didn’t last very long and soon was ice cold. He didn’t care.

He dried off and got dressed, going into the kitchen where Tyler slid a plate with an English muffin slathered with peanut butter and raspberry preserves across the table to him.

“I can’t,” he said, shaking his still wet head.

“You have to, and you will. Then when you’re done, you’re going to tell me what happened,” Tyler replied, his tone indicating he would not take no for an answer.

Elijah picked at the muffin and ignored the coffee Tyler gave him, his stomach not in any shape for the acidic brew. Tyler got up and got him a glass of water instead, which he took gratefully. Dehydration and peanut butter didn’t make a good combination.

Finally, when the muffin was gone and a second glass of water consumed, Tyler led Elijah to the couch and sat him down.

“Talk to me, E. What happened?”

Elijah’s eyes filled with tears and haltingly he told Tyler everything, not leaving out any details, not even the intimate ones. He needed to say it out loud. By putting a voice to what he and Kage had made it real, made it something that couldn’t be forgotten.

He had to stop several times as he told Tyler what happened in Huntington’s office. Tears flowed freely and Tyler got him a box of tissues. When he got to the point in the story where he called Tyler, he stopped, his body deflating as if it were his bones had suddenly disappeared.

Tyler scooted over and gathered him up in his arms, holding him once more as he cried out his grief onto his shoulder. First his parents, and now Kage. Sorrow knew no boundaries.

“I’m so sorry, Elijah.”

“I loved him.”

“I know you did.”

Time became suspended while his best friend comforted him, holding him and gently rubbing his back, as if he were a small child, needing the physical contact, which he did.

After a while, Tyler let him go and he sat back, blew out a long breath and drew in another.

“So, what are you going to do?”

Now there was the million dollar question.

He shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I don’t think I should go back to my house. If Huntington laid a trap for Kage, I’m sure he did his homework and knows where he's been staying the past few months. Kage didn’t leave much of a paper trail, but I’m sure a man with Huntington’s connections could put two and two together. I guess I need to figure out how to get the message Kage gave me to his boss.”

“About this Trevor dude? Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, from what you’ve told me, Kage didn’t even know his boss’s name. How the hell are you even going to find him? Not to mention you're not exactly his favorite person,” Tyler said, pointing out the obvious problem.

“I guess I’ll start in Crescent City. It shouldn’t be too hard to weed through six or seven thousand people,” he replied, already knowing it would probably be impossible for him to find Kage’s boss. People like him weren’t found unless they wanted to be.

Ever the voice of reason in his life, Tyler set him straight. “No, you won’t. You’ll take some time and get the hell away from here. Go on a cruise, go backpacking in Canada. Hell, go see your furry friends in Montana, but you’re not tracking down Kage’s boss.”

“What about killing Huntington?” he asked, half serious.

Tyler snorted. “If you think you’ve got it in you, then be my guest. Hell, I’ll go along for the ride and when we’re done, we can take a trip to the Grand Canyon and rocket off the rim.”

That brought a ghost of a smile to Elijah’s lips.

“Hey, I have to get going. My last final is this afternoon and I’ve got a couple of things to take care of first. I’ll swing by your house when I’m done and pick up whatever you need. Just text me. I’ll grab the mail and meet you back here for dinner. Yes, you will eat dinner, even if I have to force feed you.”

“Thanks Ty.”

He felt guilty because his best friend had to drive nearly ten hours to come save his sorry ass the night before his last final of his college career. If he tanked, Elijah would never forgive himself.

“Get out of your head, E. All I have to do is turn in my last composition and do a hundred multiple choice questions on a subject I know inside out. Stop beating yourself up! I got this,” Tyler called out as he headed to his room to grab his stuff. On his way out the door, Tyler planted another kiss on the top of Elijah’s head. He didn’t deserve such a good friend.

The apartment was silent as soon as Tyler was gone. Elijah knew he should do something; he just didn’t know what. The only thing he felt like doing was curling up on the couch and crying all afternoon.

Instead of doing that and listening to silence, he went down to Ty’s room and rummaged around his bag for his phone. His hands closed around the plastic case, but when he pulled it out, it wasn’t his. It was Kage’s. Elijah stared at it as if it was going to leap from his palm and bite him.

Instead of putting it back, he tapped the screen. Kage didn’t lock the device. It was one of a half dozen burners he used. Other than the factory installed apps, there was nothing personal on it.

Elijah pulled up the contact list. There were two numbers programmed in it. His and one labeled ‘B’.

B for boss.

Elijah tapped the icon, not to call the number, but to program it into his own phone, which he fished out of the bag. What was he going to do with it? He didn’t know. Just before putting Kage’s phone down, he noticed one app that wasn’t factory installed. It was a music app. He opened it, curious to see what Kage’s playlists looked like.

His eyes were immediately drawn to the list labeled ‘Elijah’.

Only a few songs were programmed, Aerosmith’s I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing and U2’s You're the Best Thing About Me were at the top of the list.

His mind immediately homed in on the memory of Kage’s soft voice crooning the words to the Aerosmith song. He shut down the echo in his head before it overwhelmed him. His thumb hovered over the U2 title. His hesitation lasted only a moment before curiosity got the best of him. He hit play.

The tune was upbeat and as he listened to the lyrics, tears flowed freely once more. He put the song on repeat, curling up on the couch with a throw blanket, wrapped tightly around himself, as if he wanted to protect himself from the onslaught of emotions.

The words struck him through to his soul, but a few parts in particular stood out more than anything else:

You’re the best thing about me
The best thing that ever happened a boy
You’re the best thing about me
I’m the kind of trouble that you enjoy.

You're the best thing about me
The best things are easy to destroy
You’re the best thing about me
The best thing about me

I have everything but I feel like nothing at all
There’s no risky thing for a man who’s determined to fall

He fell asleep with the words looping through his head until the sound of Tyler coming home woke him. The scent of what was normally his favorite Thai food accompanied his friend through the door. He set Kage’s phone to the side, its battery dead. He immediately plugged it in, not wanting another part of Kage to die. Irrational, he knew, but he wasn’t in the most rational frame of mind.

“You didn’t text me,” Tyler gently chastised.

“Sorry, I fell asleep.”

“Elijah, I’ll let it go for now, but you can’t sleep all day and night hoping the pain will disappear. It’s going to be there for a while.”

When the fuck did his best friend get to be so grown-up?

“I know. I won’t do it again. What did you bring to eat?” he asked, changing the subject.

Tyler gave him that look that said he knew exactly what Elijah was up to, but instead of saying anything, he just unpacked the plastic containers and grabbed some plates and silverware.

“I brought a bunch of your clothes. I didn’t know exactly what you wanted, so if there’s anything I missed, I can go back tomorrow. Oh, I got your mail too.” He leaned back to grab the pile of envelopes and junk mail off of the counter behind him.

Elijah sorted through the small stack. One piece of mail stood out from the rest. A letter-sized envelope with the return address of the law firm that handled his parents’ estate. Inside was a vehicle title and a form letter letting him know the title to the ‘55 Chevy Bel Air his dad purchased right before he died had been transferred to his name and was free of any liens. There was also a handwritten note from the lawyer, apologizing. A computer virus caused a delay in the processing of multiple asset transfers, the title being one of them.

“What’s that?” Tyler asked, curiously.

“The title for the old Chevy I told you my dad bought. It’s mine now.”

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll go check it out tomorrow.”

He knew Tyler was trying to distract him and honestly, Elijah had forgotten all about it. It was ironic that right after he suffered another major loss, something belonging to his dad surfaced. Fate, or whatever, was giving him something to focus on other than the overwhelming emotions threatening to drown him. As much as he just wanted to curl up and hide away from the world right now, something inside him was insisting he do this. Whatever. Playing hide and seek with society wasn’t an option, anyway.

“It’s probably a piece of shit that needs a fuck ton of work, but okay. The storage facility codes are in here, so we shouldn’t have a problem. Who knows? Maybe it’s in decent enough shape so I can eventually work on her and get her running.”

It remained to be seen, and it was a task that he would set aside until the following day. Tonight he still had some wallowing in self pity to do.

Tyler didn’t let him and by the time nine o’clock rolled around, he was tired again. He grabbed his phone, unhooked Kage’s from the charger, and bid Tyler goodnight. His friend said he’d be along in a while, he was engrossed in Big Bang reruns on Hulu. Bazinga.

Elijah got ready for bed and after pulling the covers over him he opened the screen on Kage’s phone. Without knowing why, other than a gut feeling compelling him, he hit the contact for ‘B’, tapped the message sign and typed out Kage is dead, then hit send before he could change his mind. He stared at the screen until it timed out and went dark.

No reply was forthcoming and he doubted there ever would be. He placed the phone on the table beside him, but instead of closing his eyes right away, he got up and went to Kage’s bag and pulled out a shirt that had been worn, but not laundered.

He crawled back into bed and put the shirt under his head, between him and the pillow, letting Kage’s lingering scent soothe him before closing his eyes and drifting off.